WEBVTT 00:00:07.370 --> 00:00:09.490 All right, we're going to cover the five keys 00:00:09.490 --> 00:00:12.710 to accepting what you can't change. As William 00:00:12.710 --> 00:00:15.070 James put it, acceptance of what has happened 00:00:15.070 --> 00:00:17.129 is the first step to overcoming the consequences 00:00:17.129 --> 00:00:20.690 of any misfortune. Accepting what we don't like 00:00:20.690 --> 00:00:23.030 may be one of the most difficult aspects of life, 00:00:23.170 --> 00:00:26.070 and I'm all for taking action and changing what 00:00:26.070 --> 00:00:28.690 we can, but inevitably there will be people, 00:00:28.730 --> 00:00:31.210 situations, and events we don't like and that 00:00:31.210 --> 00:00:36.509 we aren't able to change. Excuse me. Do you find 00:00:36.509 --> 00:00:38.570 yourself trying to change things you have no 00:00:38.570 --> 00:00:41.090 control over? It's a question a lot of people 00:00:41.090 --> 00:00:44.689 tend to want to ask. I mean, if so, you probably 00:00:44.689 --> 00:00:47.009 find it difficult to be satisfied and content 00:00:47.009 --> 00:00:49.789 with life. And if we can't change a situation 00:00:49.789 --> 00:00:52.049 or an outcome, our best option is to learn how 00:00:52.049 --> 00:00:56.350 to accept it and then, well, deal with it. Acceptance 00:00:56.350 --> 00:00:58.909 has many benefits. A more positive attitude, 00:00:59.310 --> 00:01:01.810 less worry and stress, less energy drained from 00:01:01.810 --> 00:01:04.310 trying to figure things out, ability to embrace 00:01:04.310 --> 00:01:07.920 change, greater appreciation and gratitude, a 00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:11.560 more compassionate perspective, and so on and 00:01:11.560 --> 00:01:15.260 so forth. Acceptance is not the same as resignation 00:01:15.260 --> 00:01:21.219 or passivity. We can continue to push forward 00:01:21.219 --> 00:01:24.439 despite accepting that there are things beyond 00:01:24.439 --> 00:01:26.939 our control. Here are a few tips I'm going to 00:01:26.939 --> 00:01:30.140 give you to living with greater acceptance so 00:01:30.140 --> 00:01:33.480 you can have a more joy and peaceful mindset. 00:01:49.099 --> 00:01:56.340 Part 1. Let go of the past. I can't make it any 00:01:56.340 --> 00:01:58.959 clearer, actually, to be honest. We all have 00:01:58.959 --> 00:02:00.980 baggage that we carry from our past, and this 00:02:00.980 --> 00:02:03.280 baggage gets heavier the longer we hold on to 00:02:03.280 --> 00:02:05.819 it. Many people have a hard time letting go of 00:02:05.819 --> 00:02:09.360 the past. We carry a mental reminder of our mistakes 00:02:09.360 --> 00:02:11.620 and losses with us everywhere we go, not realizing 00:02:11.620 --> 00:02:13.699 how much they steal from our present joy and 00:02:13.699 --> 00:02:17.759 contentment. We can't change the past. However... 00:02:18.830 --> 00:02:22.090 What happened in your past happened? So our only 00:02:22.090 --> 00:02:24.689 hope is to learn how to accept our past and basically 00:02:24.689 --> 00:02:27.370 move forward. As one of my favorite artists, 00:02:27.490 --> 00:02:30.430 C .S. Lewis, once put it, getting over a painful 00:02:30.430 --> 00:02:33.229 experience is much like crossing monkey bars. 00:02:34.009 --> 00:02:36.930 You have to let go at some point in order to 00:02:36.930 --> 00:02:41.009 move forward. Otherwise, you're just holding 00:02:41.009 --> 00:02:42.750 on to the same bar that you were in the beginning. 00:02:44.129 --> 00:02:49.759 Two, learn coping skills. At one point or another, 00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:52.259 life will present us with an unexpected turn 00:02:52.259 --> 00:02:56.439 of events. It may be difficult. Let me rephrase 00:02:56.439 --> 00:02:58.800 that. It may be a difficult loss or a failure 00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:01.360 of upper proportions that we aren't prepared 00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:04.560 to deal with yet. Sometimes these events are 00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:07.620 beyond our current ability to cope. So part of 00:03:07.620 --> 00:03:09.719 the acceptance process is learning new ways to 00:03:09.719 --> 00:03:12.599 cope with a crisis, whatever it may be, and keep 00:03:12.599 --> 00:03:15.000 your emotions in check, you know, so you can 00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:17.650 make. A more conscious decision about how to 00:03:17.650 --> 00:03:19.849 deal with the difficult situations that you're 00:03:19.849 --> 00:03:23.770 faced with. Which brings me to part three. Make 00:03:23.770 --> 00:03:28.129 it meaningful. Okay? Sometimes the worst things 00:03:28.129 --> 00:03:33.629 happen to us at the end. End up being the most 00:03:33.629 --> 00:03:36.889 fundamental part of our personal growth. It is 00:03:36.889 --> 00:03:38.849 easier to accept something when we explore the 00:03:38.849 --> 00:03:40.789 opportunities and possibilities that come out 00:03:40.789 --> 00:03:44.280 of it. So it brings this question, what can you 00:03:44.280 --> 00:03:46.780 learn from your difficulty? How has the difficulty 00:03:46.780 --> 00:03:50.180 made you a stronger person? As Viktor Frankl 00:03:50.180 --> 00:03:53.379 once said, when we can no longer change the situation, 00:03:53.539 --> 00:03:56.520 we are challenged to change ourselves. This in 00:03:56.520 --> 00:04:00.719 turn helps you to grow as a person in mind, spirit, 00:04:00.759 --> 00:04:05.780 and body. Fourth, expect less. We live in a world 00:04:05.780 --> 00:04:08.500 that tells us to want more, be more, and do more. 00:04:08.960 --> 00:04:11.099 This isn't always a negative message, but it 00:04:11.099 --> 00:04:13.219 often gets in the way of our life satisfaction. 00:04:14.460 --> 00:04:16.680 When something doesn't meet our expectations, 00:04:16.819 --> 00:04:19.279 we are disappointed and angry. Life can appear 00:04:19.279 --> 00:04:22.259 purposeless, unfair, and ruthless if our expectations 00:04:22.259 --> 00:04:25.639 are unrealistic. So instead of expecting something 00:04:25.639 --> 00:04:27.939 to happen or expecting a person to act a certain 00:04:27.939 --> 00:04:30.519 way, try to focus on accepting and creating. 00:04:30.920 --> 00:04:33.459 Focus on what you want to create instead of what 00:04:33.459 --> 00:04:36.670 you expect to happen. Creation is motivating 00:04:36.670 --> 00:04:39.850 and expectation is demanding. You have to know 00:04:39.850 --> 00:04:42.670 the difference between the two. And finally, 00:04:42.769 --> 00:04:47.410 the fifth key. Set new goals. When we run into 00:04:47.410 --> 00:04:49.470 failure or setbacks, it can feel like we are 00:04:49.470 --> 00:04:52.449 stuck with nowhere to turn. Life will take unexpected 00:04:52.449 --> 00:04:55.050 turns and when this happens, our trajectory might 00:04:55.050 --> 00:04:58.290 have to change as well. This is a point where 00:04:58.290 --> 00:05:01.250 it is in our best interest to move on and let 00:05:01.250 --> 00:05:03.569 go of what we want. If something doesn't work 00:05:03.569 --> 00:05:07.269 the way we planned, Don't get caught up in the 00:05:07.269 --> 00:05:10.329 outcome, okay? Instead of doing the same thing 00:05:10.329 --> 00:05:12.990 and expecting different results, accept things 00:05:12.990 --> 00:05:15.790 aren't working that way you planned and do something 00:05:15.790 --> 00:05:19.230 different. You may not be able to change what 00:05:19.230 --> 00:05:21.029 you're going through right now, but this doesn't 00:05:21.029 --> 00:05:23.529 mean you can't live a full and meaningful life. 00:05:23.709 --> 00:05:26.310 You can adapt and adjust to your present circumstances. 00:05:27.129 --> 00:05:30.009 Stop avoiding the difficult issues and only focusing 00:05:30.009 --> 00:05:32.589 on what you can't change. Focus on what you can 00:05:32.589 --> 00:05:34.970 do about the situation. And if you can't change 00:05:34.970 --> 00:05:38.230 something, it's time to accept the reality. What 00:05:38.230 --> 00:05:41.110 do you need to accept so you can be happier and 00:05:41.110 --> 00:05:43.209 more fulfilled? And that's the question I'm going 00:05:43.209 --> 00:05:47.689 to leave you with today. You have to consider 00:05:47.689 --> 00:05:50.589 what you can do to make it so that you're not 00:05:50.589 --> 00:05:53.709 only a happier person, but you're stress -free, 00:05:54.069 --> 00:05:58.689 anger -free, resentment -free. Basically, removing 00:05:58.689 --> 00:06:03.160 all these negative emotions that... have plagued 00:06:03.160 --> 00:06:05.920 mankind since the beginning. The very emotions 00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:08.519 that causes us to sin and do the stuff that is 00:06:08.519 --> 00:06:11.180 not right, stuff that gets you arrested, killed, 00:06:11.399 --> 00:06:16.439 hurt, leaves you in emotional distress. These 00:06:16.439 --> 00:06:19.639 are the things that we must consider. So I leave 00:06:19.639 --> 00:06:23.600 this thought with you, you know, and I pray that 00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:28.339 you come to terms with your past or whatever 00:06:28.339 --> 00:06:31.120 has happened to you previously. And that you're 00:06:31.120 --> 00:06:33.920 able to move forward with your life and aim higher. 00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:36.819 Like I said before in the Relationship Series 00:06:36.819 --> 00:06:40.360 and Respect, know what you're worth and don't 00:06:40.360 --> 00:06:43.279 settle for anything less. But don't set your 00:06:43.279 --> 00:06:46.240 expectations so high that they're unattainable. 00:06:47.959 --> 00:06:50.860 And with that, this is Food for Thought, Thoughts 00:06:50.860 --> 00:06:55.019 If It Were You Morals Series by Neogentrix. We'll 00:06:55.019 --> 00:06:57.819 pick this up with the remaining seven morals 00:06:57.819 --> 00:07:00.439 tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your day.