Good morning, everybody. It is 9 a .m. on a Saturday.
How you guys doing? This is Thoughts If It Were
You by Neogentrics. Food for thought. We're still
going to continue the moral series, but we have
a new segment that we started yesterday. What
essential skills? Basically, I'm going to cover
things that people should already have known
or should know, both in life and otherwise. Topics
will range between personal skills, interpersonal
skills, leadership skills, learning skills, presentation
skills, even your writing skills, numerical skills,
and parenting skills. Yes, you heard me right.
I said parenting skills. But we will finish the
moral series also. So we're going to do both
of these simultaneously, going back and forth,
giving you guys a break between the topics that
I cover. Now, granted, there aren't a lot of
morals left to cover. Matter of fact, there's
only 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 of them remaining. So,
picking up where we left off with the morals
series, I'm going to cover honesty. Or rather,
in its other form, truthfulness. Honesty is basically
being truthful and sincere. While it's not very
hard to figure out, especially from its definition
being the quality of being honest, not the other
one where it basically is a European plant with
purple and white flowers and a round, flat, translucent
seed pod that's used for indoor flower arrangements.
That has something to do with something else.
That has nothing to do with being honest. It
is one of the more acquitted traits that people
nowadays don't have. Society, especially Western
society, places a high value on truth. Truth
is the foundation for a fair and just society.
In court, we require witnesses to swear to tell
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth, because only that way can justice be delivered
and served properly. However, most modern religious
Religions also have something to say on that
matter, and it's clear that they place a high
value on the principle of truthfulness as well.
But is truthfulness an outdated principle in
modern times, or does it still have value? These
are things people have to consider. As they put
it in the Buddha religion, three things cannot
be long hidden. The sun, the moon, and the truth.
Or, as Jesus Christ put it, I am the way, the
truth, and the life. Whichever one of these you
believe, that's up to you. However, they both
stress the same point. So with that, I'm going
to go ahead and say this. There are two types
of truth, okay? There are two aspects of truthfulness,
being true to yourself and being true to others.
The two are not quite the same, although they
are closely linked. Shakespeare, for example,
suggested that someone who was true to themselves
was unlikely to be false to others. Or as he
said it, or as William Shakespeare originally
quoted it, To thine own self be true, and it
must follow, as night to day, that thou canst
not then be false to any man. I stumble saying
that every time. Keep in mind, Shakespeare is
not easy to read, let alone quote. I just don't
have the heart for it. So, truthful people will
do the following. First thing, understand themselves
and know their own strengths and weaknesses.
They will not delude themselves about their successes
or failures. Two, present themselves in a way
that show who they really are. The reputation
that they have will be founded on what they are
and whether in public or in private, they will
be the same regardless. Three, meet any commitments
or promises they make. And four, be accurate
in their description of themselves or others.
You know, so that they don't mislead others.
The importance of truth is one of the things
that I want to go ahead and cover too. Truth
matters, both to us as individuals and the society
as a whole. As individuals, being truthful means
that we can grow and mature learning from our
mistakes. Whereas for society, truthfulness makes
social bonds. And lying and hypocrisy, well,
they break them. If you doubt this. Consider
what happens when you find out that someone has
lied to you. You feel less inclined to trust
them next time and also less inclined to trust
other people more generally. Is it ever right
not to tell the truth? This is a question that
a lot of people must consider. As Hunter S. Thompson
once said, If I had written all the truth I knew
from the past 10 years, about 600 people, including
me, would be rotting in prison cells from Rio
to Seattle today. Absolute truth is a very rare
and dangerous commodity in the context of professional
journalism as well. So, while it's not always
a good thing to tell the truth depending on where
you work or live, it is actually a better habit
to have than to not tell the truth at all. There
are two possible ways not to tell the truth,
not to provide any information, and to provide
false information. First, you do not need to
tell everyone everything excessive sharing of
personal information is not welcome even if it
is the truth context is all important and you
have to consider whether people need or want
to know sometimes it's better not to say anything
you also need to be able to remain silent if
someone has confided in you and asked you not
to share the information further under these
circumstances it is therefore appropriate not
to tell all the truth however Is it right to
provide false information or lie? You know, is
the right answer to the question, does my bum
look big in this, ever yes? It's a typical question
that a lot of people ask. Well, maybe in the
changing room before this is bought, but maybe
not. The truthful person will think very carefully
about the right answer to that question. Truthfulness
is important, but so it... so is not hurting
others' feelings as well. Truthfulness and tact
must go hand in hand, for otherwise the truth
may be unacceptable to those who hear it. Something
just to keep in mind. And consider a governmental
agent, okay? They may need to lie or pretend
to be something that they are not for the sake
of the greater good, but they may still be true
to themselves if they believe in the importance
of the greater good in the first place. At what
point does the truth become more important, though?
This is a matter of personal conscience, okay?
Oscar Wilde said, The truth is rarely pure and
never simple. One of the things that I do...
is that I give people the option when I tell
them stuff or get ready to tell them stuff. You
have two options. I could tell you what you want
to hear or I could tell you what you need to
hear. But keep in mind that if I tell you what
you need to hear, you may not like me anymore,
but I'm okay with that. More often than not,
a lot of people automatically... want the latter.
They would rather hear what they want to hear
and be at peace, or at least that's what they
think, than hear the truth because they know
the truth hurts. So, before we move on to the
next section for this episode, I want you to
think about this. If I had to tell you something
that you needed to know, or you had to tell somebody
something that they needed to know, wouldn't
you at least want to give them the option to
pick what they wanted to hear? At least then
the other person would know whether or not they're
being lied to. This is a practice that I use.
It may not work for everybody, but it does work
for me. So with that, the question is, would
you like to hear what you want to hear? Or would
you like to hear what you need to hear? Because
now they have the option to decide whether or
not they want to hear the truth or not. And it
doesn't fall on you if their feelings are hurt.
picking up where we left off. So there are some
circumstances in which lying may be acceptable
and necessary. It is, however, never acceptable
to lie in order to make yourself look better
or to avoid trouble that you have been brought
on yourself. If you lie about yourself or to
avoid trouble and people find out, they are unlikely
to trust you ever again. This brings about the
next point. You need to find the balance. As
with many other qualities, you need to find the
balance in truthfulness, neither overplaying
nor underplaying either your virtues or your
weaknesses. It is as bad to pretend that you
are less good at something than you are as to
exaggerate about your abilities completely. Teaching
your children about truthfulness can be hard,
but you want them to understand that it's important
to tell the truth. But if they tell you that
they drew on the wall, you're going to be quite
cross, aren't you? There is, therefore, a serious
incentive to lie. Say that it was their sibling
or a visitor. You may, therefore, need to think
about their incentives to confess whether or
not they want to, and make sure that they understand
the value that you put on telling the truth.
You will need to ensure that you demonstrate
that, not just say it, by rewarding truth -telling
in some way. Even if you still need to punish
the original misdeed, find a way to do it in
a way where it's more productive. I'll give you
an example. Joe and her children had been helping
to sort the donation cup boards at the school.
There were some small toys there, which the children
really, really liked. Joe told them to leave
the toys alone because they belonged to the school.
On the way home, Joe realized that both children
had taken something from the box she asked if
they had done it well of course both children
denied it not wishing to give them the wrong
incentive joe thought carefully and then said
and i quote if i find that you have taken something
i will be cross but if you lie to me and then
i find out that you have lied i will be really
really cross did you take something of course
now Both the children confessed that they had
done so, and Jo explained that was stealing,
but because they had told her the truth, she
gave them a choice. They could either return
the toys that they had taken, or they could replace
each one with another one from home. Now, which
one do you think the children did? Just the last
word here on the specific topic here on honesty
and truthfulness. It is important to live and
act in line with your values. Being truthful
to yourself matters. You cannot live in line
with your values if you are pretending to, you
know, pretending to yourself that you are something
else. Truthfulness allows you to be honest about
yourself and to yourself and to others and to
live a life which reflects that. But if you're
not able to do so, and you're living what they
call an immoral life, then, well, I have no idea
what to tell you. As these values will continue
to follow you through life, into your profession,
and into your career. I'm pretty sure you enjoy
your promotions and you enjoy making money, but
if you don't have a truthful type of personality,
regardless of what the company may make you do,
then earning that promotion or being high up
in the company won't mean anything in the long
run. Again, thank you for listening. This has
been Thoughts If It Were You by Neogentrix, moral
series, food for thought. And today's topic was
honesty and truthfulness. We'll pick this back
up with the next moral or possibly another essential
skill next time.