Good morning, everybody. Welcome back. It is
12 a .m. And this is Thoughts If It Were You,
Food for Thought by Neogentrics. Now, I did say
there were a couple more morals, but you know
what? I'm going to hold off on giving those last
two. I decided to do that over the last weekend
from the last podcast. Instead, we're going to
cover a couple of essential skills that every
person should have. And this one is technically
considered a moral. But I'm going to put it under
essential skills. Anyway. We're going to cover
humility. It's basically humbleness or... How
do I put this? Humbleness or humility is perhaps
an underrated virtue. It sounds like a very biblical
trait for most people. And indeed, many of the
great religious leaders have been described and
celebrated as very humble. But... However...
Just because humility is old -fashioned doesn't
mean it no longer is important. Humility, if
we use it as a noun for that matter, is the state
or quality of being humble, lowliness of mind,
modesty. Whereas its adjective definition says,
lowly, modest, unpretentious, having a low opinion
of oneself. This doesn't necessarily mean that...
These definitions make humility sound like a
very negative quality, but humility is, as practiced
by the great religious leaders, was not negative.
Their opinion of themselves were low only in
the sense that they understood that they were
not more important than others. They also understood
that they were not less important than others.
Either Jesus, for example, was not afraid to
fight for his right to speak out for others,
especially those who were poor and struggling.
And he spoke to those in authority in exactly
the same way he spoke to everyone else. Ooh,
excuse me. I had a long day. In other words,
humility is not being a doormat, okay, and allowing
people to walk over you. Instead, it's the understanding
that every human is equally valuable, a recognition
that you are worth no less and no more than anyone
else. So this brings up the question, why does
humility even matter? I'm going to be honest
with you. One of the reasons why humility seems
old -fashioned is that we're often made to feel
that we need to look out for ourselves because
nobody else will do so. You know, it's a dog
-eat -dog world. This point of view suggests
that you need to be aggressive to get what you
need in life, which, along with pride, is perhaps
the very opposite of humility. I will cover assertiveness
at a later date, but, however, it's easier to
argue that it is more appropriate to be assertive
to be able to stand up for oneself and others
and put in your point of view calmly. Assertiveness
is very... is very definitely compatible with
humility. It recognizes that everyone has an
equal right to be heard and enables everyone
to put their own point across. Indeed, it is
quite possible to argue that not only is assertiveness
compatible with humility, but humility is absolutely
essential for developing assertiveness. In other
words, without a recognition that you are No
more or less important than others. It's important
to recognize that everyone has an equal right
to be heard or indeed to be listened to or listened
to others openly. Okay? So, I ask you this. What
about the fit between humility and self -esteem?
And someone asked me this earlier today. Self
-esteem is how you feel about yourself, okay?
The definition says that humility is having a
low... low opinion of oneself, which is clearly
closely linked to self -esteem. And being humble,
however, does not mean having a poor opinion
of yourself, but rather accepting yourself as
you are and your many good qualities as well
as your limitations, recognizing that others
also have good qualities and are equally valuable.
Let's go ahead and talk about how one can develop
their own humility. For many of us, humility
is one of the hardest traits to develop because
it has to start from a recognition that you are
not always right and that you do not have all
the answers, which we covered in a previous episode.
It also requires an acceptance of yourself, which
many of us find challenging. It is relatively
easy to be humble when you are at the bottom
of the tree, as it were, you know, new in a job
or a very junior or... The more senior you get,
however, though, the more likely you are to have
people looking to you for answers and the more
you find yourself believing that you can help.
If you're not careful, you can reach senior's
position just the moment at which you most need
humility, believing that you are more or less
infallible. You need to try this. Try to cultivate
some humility when you reach that seniority level.
You may want to try a couple of these activities
here. I have a few on my list here. First off,
spend time listening to others before you open
your fat mouth. A key quality of humbleness is
to value others and enable them to be heard.
Spending time listening to others and drawing
out their feelings and values and enabling them
to express themselves is a very powerful way
to start to understand this. It's important to
remember that you are not trying to solve their
problems. I can't stress that enough. Or even
answer them. Just listen and respond to them
as a fellow human. Practice mindfulness. Focus
on the present. A key part of mindfulness is
accepting what is, rather than judging and commenting
on it. An important element of humility is accepting
yourself for all your faults, rather than judging
yourself for your shortcomings. That doesn't
mean that you shouldn't strive to improve, but
positively, rather than berating yourself. your
negative qualities. On that note, be grateful
for what you have. In other words, take the time
to count your blessings and be thankful for them.
It is easy to get sucked into a negative spiral
of wanting more, whether in yourself or externally.
Take time to stop and remember that you have
to be grateful for, and it is a good way to cultivate
a more humble, positive frame of mind. I'll be
honest with you, it's not that hard to do this.
It's just that it becomes difficult to be consistent.
And with that being said, no one asks for help
when you need it. There is as many of us will
really recognize a form of pride that lies in
being able to solve the problems ourselves. Humility,
therefore, lies in recognizing when we need the
help that we don't think we need and being able
to ask for it appropriately. You may find it
helpful to read through lots of pages. find different
kinds of analysis on how to handle things, but
in reality, you just need to take a back and
let other people help you instead of trying to
help everyone else. On that note, if you can't
seem to figure this out on your own, seek feedback
from others on a regular basis. This is perhaps
particularly important specifically for leaders
of any kind. I've been a manager before, so I
can understand this, but we... can all gain from
hearing what others think of us. Take time to
answer others to provide feedback anonymously
if necessary, and make it clear that you welcome
their opinions. Listen to their feedback openly
and be grateful. I .e., shut up, don't run your
mouth, hear what they have to say, listen to
it and understand before you just turn around
and say that they're wrong. Okay, well, let's
go ahead and finish this off like I promised.
With that last topic in mind that we just covered,
there's only one other thing left for you to
do. Review your actions against the language
of pride, okay? Pride and arrogance, which also
covers smugness, snobbery, vanity, unpleasant
works, smoldering intensity for no reason. It
can sometimes be hard to avoid feelings of being
a bit proud about oneself or vain or even snobbish,
but it is often quite pleasant to feel like that.
For example, if we have done something good and
everyone is praising us, however, we tend not
to call these feelings by name because the words
themselves carry negative connotations. However,
that's not always the case. It's okay to have
pride. And to be a little smug. It's when it
gets out of hand. It's when you need the humility.
To cultivate humility however. You need to review
your feelings against the works. Ask yourself.
Was that snobbish the way I said that? Or was
I being a bit vain there? Or how about this?
And to be honest about the answers. You know.
Recognizing and naming these feelings for what
they are is a good step towards being humble.
Just a final thought before I close this out
here on humility. It may sound old -fashioned,
but it does not mean that a little humbleness
is not as important as it is now. In an era which
many bemoan the growing selfishness and the eye
-focus of the world, perhaps we should all strive
to develop a more humble approach. And the reason
for this is to keep us in a good mindset and
at the same time, keep our sanity in check. This
is something that we all need. Again, thank you
for listening. This has been Humility on Thoughts
If It Were You, Food for Thought by Neogentrix.
I thank you for listening and have a great rest
of your day.