morning everybody this is food for thought thoughts
if it were you by neogentrics it is 3 a .m and
it's good to be back i had a lot of work issues
and school work to do but hey that's life you
can't get around it you can only go through it
and nobody said it was ever fair so we're gonna
pick up where we left off with the essential
skills and With this, it's technically immoral,
but we're going to go ahead and cover empathy
as well. It's an essential skill to have, as
well as a moral that most people should have,
but unfortunately for some people, they don't
even know how to be empathetic, or in layman's
terms, show even the simplest of emotions. So
we're going to go ahead and cover what empathy
is, and the types of empathy, right here, right
now. Empathy, empathy, empathy. What is empathy?
Empathy is at its simplest awareness of the feelings
and emotions of other people. It's a key element
of emotional intelligence. You know, that thing
that links you to other people. It's basically,
you know, that link between oneself and others.
Because it's, how do I put it? It's how we as
individuals understand what others are experiencing
as if we were feeling it ourselves, you know?
Like, kind of the whole point of this podcast
is to understand how the other person feels.
As though the title implies, Thoughts If It Were
You is basically being empathetic. I'm not going
to title my podcast Empathy Towards Others because
that's ridiculous and it doesn't make any sense.
It goes far beyond sympathy, that's for sure.
And which might be considered feelings for someone,
whereas empathy is instead... feelings with that
person you know you understand what it's like
to be that person without actually being that
person you know through your imagination and
and all let's go with this um how about i give
you a few definitions just to clarify what i
mean empathy using the chambers english dictionary
means the power of entering into one's personality
and imaginatively experiencing his experiences.
Empathy is awareness of others' feelings, needs,
and concerns by Daniel Goleman in working with
emotional intelligence. Gandhi worded it, I call
him religious who understands the suffering of
others. And Tim mentions... words like this empathy
is intuitive but is also something you can work
on intellectually they're not wrong none of these
are wrong just the way that they explain it is
a little different for much and much for a lot
of people damon goldman the author of the book
emotional intelligence says that the empathy
is based is basically the ability to understand
others emotionally. He also, however, notes that
at a deeper level, it's also about defining,
understanding, and reacting to the concerns of
and for needs that underline others' emotional
responses and reactions. But, keeping that in
mind, As Tim mentioned noted, empathy is a skill
that can be developed. This is also true, as
I originally didn't have this ability. I had
to learn it as a skill. As the most interpersonal
skill, empathizing at some level comes naturally
to some people. Ironically, even though I didn't
have this ability, it came naturally for me to
learn it. So, elements of empathy. We're going
to go with Daniel Goleman's identity of it. There
are five key elements of empathy. One, understanding
others. Two, developing others. Three, having
a service orientation. Four, leveraging diversity.
And five, political awareness. Now, I'm going
to talk about all five in the next coming bits.
But this is just to give you a heads up as to
what we're going to cover. Okay? And like I said
before, we will cover the types of empathy along
with that. Okay, and we're back. The first thing
that was in that list of five things was understanding
others. We're going to pick up with this. This
is perhaps what most people understand by empathy.
In Goleman's words, sensing others' feelings
and perspectives and taking an active interest
in their concerns. Those who do this tune into
emotional cues. They listen well and they pay
attention to nonverbal communication. Picking
up subtle cues about almost subconsciously. Okay.
showing sensitivity and understanding other perspectives.
Note that he mentions that it's more of a nonverbal
communication type skill in understanding others.
And don't worry, we'll cover listening skills
and nonverbal communication later in these podcasts
that I cover. An old Indian proverb is, never
criticize a man until you've walked a mile in
his moccasins. In other words, in layman's terms,
don't judge a book by its cover. And until you
walk a mile in another person's shoes, you don't
have a right to judge them. And that's just a
loose translation. Next, you're able to help
other people based on their understandings of
those people's needs and feelings. All these
skills which can be developed, okay? But only
if you wish to do so. Some people may switch
off their emotional antenna to avoid being swamped
by the feelings of others. I'm one of those people.
I personally seal off my emotions on purpose
because I honestly don't want to be overrun with
other people's emotions or overrun by mine for
the sake of other people trying to dupe me out
using their emotions. It doesn't work that way.
Yeah, you could sit there and cry and you probably
could have a problem. But unless I see proof
that there really is a problem, I don't show
any emotional attachment or value whatsoever.
Nor do I care. This is not to say that I'm not
being empathetic. It just means that I'm using
wisdom with my emotions rather than just completely
listening to them. So for an example of what
I just mentioned earlier. There's been a number
of scandals in the National Health Service, especially
in the UK, where nurses and doctors have been
accused of not caring about patients. It may
be that they were so overexposed to patients'
needs without suitable support that they shut
themselves off for fear of being unable to cope.
And to be honest, you can't really blame these
people for doing so. The emotional stress that
dealing with all these patients has on these
people in the hospitals is pretty high. So there's
that. We're going to go ahead and cover the second
one in this piece too. Developing others. Developing
others means acting on their needs and concerns
and helping them to develop to their full potential.
People with skills in this area usually, and
I'm going to list three things, reward and praise
people for their strength and accomplishments
and provide constructive feedback designed to
focus on how to improve. Okay. And don't worry,
I will cover on how to give and receive feedback
later. Provide mentoring and coaching to help
others to develop to their full potential. Providing
stretching assignments that will help their team
develop in ways that are usable or feasible for
the current situation. Now, with that in mind,
there's a lot of ways this can be useful and
work out really well. And I will cover these
in a later date.