WEBVTT 00:00:11.590 --> 00:00:14.750 Good morning, everybody. It is 4 a .m. How are 00:00:14.750 --> 00:00:17.570 you doing this morning? So, the only reason that 00:00:17.570 --> 00:00:19.250 I haven't been able to do a recording in the 00:00:19.250 --> 00:00:21.170 last three days was because I was studying for 00:00:21.170 --> 00:00:24.670 a test, and let me tell you, I aced it. So, moving 00:00:24.670 --> 00:00:26.850 on with what we were talking about before with 00:00:26.850 --> 00:00:30.609 empathy. We previously covered empathy and defined 00:00:30.609 --> 00:00:34.130 it as a feeling with someone. As feeling with 00:00:34.130 --> 00:00:37.469 someone. Being able to put yourself in their 00:00:37.469 --> 00:00:40.710 place as if you were them and feeling those feelings. 00:00:41.469 --> 00:00:44.810 Okay? There are several different elements that 00:00:44.810 --> 00:00:47.450 make up empathy. There are also, however, different 00:00:47.450 --> 00:00:50.890 types of empathy. Right? That have been defined 00:00:50.890 --> 00:00:54.090 by psychologists. These are cognitive, emotional, 00:00:54.350 --> 00:00:57.780 and compassionate empathy. In today's podcast, 00:00:57.899 --> 00:01:01.780 we're going to cover these. As briefly as I can, 00:01:01.820 --> 00:01:04.120 I'm going to cover each one of them in segments. 00:01:05.340 --> 00:01:07.739 Again, this is Thoughts If It Were You, Food 00:01:07.739 --> 00:01:10.239 for Thought by Neogentrix. And let's go ahead 00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:15.099 and begin and start with cognitive empathy. Also 00:01:15.099 --> 00:01:17.819 known as perspective taking. It's not really 00:01:17.819 --> 00:01:20.439 what most of us would think of as empathy at 00:01:20.439 --> 00:01:24.450 all. Cognitive empathy is basically being able 00:01:24.450 --> 00:01:26.670 to put yourself into someone else's place and 00:01:26.670 --> 00:01:29.670 see their perspective. It is a useful skill, 00:01:29.750 --> 00:01:32.109 particularly in the negotiations, for example, 00:01:32.230 --> 00:01:36.469 or for managers. It enables you to put yourself 00:01:36.469 --> 00:01:38.609 in someone else's shoes, but without necessarily 00:01:38.609 --> 00:01:41.989 engaging with their emotions. It does not, however, 00:01:42.230 --> 00:01:44.170 really fit with the definition of empathy as 00:01:44.170 --> 00:01:48.810 feeling with being a much more rational and logical 00:01:48.810 --> 00:01:55.189 process. Cognitive empathy is empathy by thought 00:01:55.189 --> 00:01:58.849 rather than by feeling, so this makes this just 00:01:58.849 --> 00:02:02.670 as effective. However, a dark side to cognitive 00:02:02.670 --> 00:02:05.670 empathy, it is possible to show cognitive empathy 00:02:05.670 --> 00:02:08.689 without having any fellow feeling or sympathy 00:02:08.689 --> 00:02:12.689 with it. It is fair to say that most of us would 00:02:12.689 --> 00:02:17.370 understand this fellow feeling to be a key part 00:02:17.370 --> 00:02:20.669 of empathy. Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional 00:02:20.669 --> 00:02:24.090 Intelligence, notes in his blog that torturers 00:02:24.090 --> 00:02:28.449 would need to have good cognitive empathy to 00:02:28.449 --> 00:02:31.550 work out how best to hurt someone, but without 00:02:31.550 --> 00:02:33.770 having any sympathy towards them whatsoever. 00:02:35.129 --> 00:02:46.229 And this, in fact, is a thing. Hold up, hold 00:02:46.229 --> 00:02:48.430 up, hold up, hold up. I can understand that you, 00:02:48.569 --> 00:02:51.229 at this point, you're like, well, with that in 00:02:51.229 --> 00:02:54.870 mind, cognitive empathy doesn't seem like empathy 00:02:54.870 --> 00:02:58.469 and it's not exactly a good thing or it's cold 00:02:58.469 --> 00:03:01.610 -hearted. Well, in reality, it does actually 00:03:01.610 --> 00:03:04.169 help doctors and nurses keep them from becoming 00:03:04.169 --> 00:03:07.090 too attached to their patients and overreacting 00:03:07.090 --> 00:03:09.150 to the point where they can't help you. However, 00:03:09.229 --> 00:03:15.550 it also helps them balance out. their emotional 00:03:15.550 --> 00:03:19.310 empathy as well emotional empathy is when you 00:03:19.310 --> 00:03:21.889 quite literally feel the other person's emotions 00:03:21.889 --> 00:03:24.169 alongside them as if you had caught the emotions 00:03:24.169 --> 00:03:27.349 as well emotional empathy is also known as personal 00:03:27.349 --> 00:03:31.050 distress or emotion contagion this is closer 00:03:31.050 --> 00:03:33.389 to the usual understanding of the word empathy 00:03:33.389 --> 00:03:36.229 but more emotional Okay. Emotional empathy is 00:03:36.229 --> 00:03:38.289 probably the first type of empathy that any of 00:03:38.289 --> 00:03:41.189 us feel as children. It can be seen when a mother 00:03:41.189 --> 00:03:43.310 smiles at her baby and the baby catches her emotion 00:03:43.310 --> 00:03:46.810 and then smiles back. Less happily, perhaps, 00:03:46.969 --> 00:03:49.169 a baby will often start to cry. And if he or 00:03:49.169 --> 00:03:52.370 she hears another baby crying, especially, or 00:03:52.370 --> 00:03:54.789 if the others hear them, they start crying too. 00:03:55.870 --> 00:03:58.310 Keep in mind that with emotional empathy, it 00:03:58.310 --> 00:04:01.650 can also be good and bad. Okay. Emotional empathy 00:04:01.650 --> 00:04:03.669 is good because it means that we can readily 00:04:03.669 --> 00:04:05.870 understand and feel other people's emotions. 00:04:06.150 --> 00:04:08.710 This is vital for those in a caring profession 00:04:08.710 --> 00:04:10.810 such as doctors and nurses, as I mentioned before. 00:04:11.210 --> 00:04:14.009 But to be able to respond to their patients appropriately, 00:04:14.330 --> 00:04:18.910 this is also a major issue. This also means that 00:04:18.910 --> 00:04:21.069 we can respond to friends and others when they 00:04:21.069 --> 00:04:24.209 are distressed. However, emotional empathy is 00:04:24.209 --> 00:04:26.050 bad in the sense that because it is possible 00:04:26.050 --> 00:04:28.170 to become overwhelmed by these emotions and therefore 00:04:28.170 --> 00:04:30.819 unable to respond, This is also known as empathy 00:04:30.819 --> 00:04:35.060 overload. Those with a tendency to become overloaded 00:04:35.060 --> 00:04:38.600 or overwhelmed need to work on their self -regulation 00:04:38.600 --> 00:04:40.779 and particularly their self -control so that 00:04:40.779 --> 00:04:44.500 they can become better at managing their own 00:04:44.500 --> 00:04:50.120 emotions. Good self -control helps doctors and 00:04:50.120 --> 00:04:52.819 nurses to avoid possible burnouts from empathizing 00:04:52.819 --> 00:04:55.720 too much. There is a danger, however, like I 00:04:55.720 --> 00:04:57.360 mentioned earlier when I talked about the good. 00:04:58.829 --> 00:05:01.189 that they can become hardened and not respond 00:05:01.189 --> 00:05:04.589 appropriately. There have been several cases 00:05:04.589 --> 00:05:08.230 in the UK, such as South Staffordshire, where 00:05:08.230 --> 00:05:10.689 nurses and others were accused of being uncaring. 00:05:10.829 --> 00:05:13.709 This may have been a possible result of overprotection 00:05:13.709 --> 00:05:17.009 against empathy overload. In which cases, it's 00:05:17.009 --> 00:05:19.430 not entirely a bad thing, but considering the 00:05:19.430 --> 00:05:21.970 number of people that they see daily, I can understand. 00:05:29.579 --> 00:05:35.680 Moving on, compassionate empathy. Finally, compassionate 00:05:35.680 --> 00:05:39.660 empathy is what we usually understand by empathy. 00:05:40.939 --> 00:05:43.720 Feeling someone's pain and taking action to help. 00:05:43.939 --> 00:05:46.759 As the name suggests, compassionate empathy is 00:05:46.759 --> 00:05:49.459 consistent with what we usually understand by 00:05:49.459 --> 00:05:52.180 compassion. Like sympathy, compassion is about 00:05:52.180 --> 00:05:55.259 feeling concern for someone, but with an additional 00:05:55.259 --> 00:05:59.899 move towards action. mitigate the problem compassionate 00:05:59.899 --> 00:06:02.240 empathy is the type of empathy that is usually 00:06:02.240 --> 00:06:05.899 most most appropriate but as a general rule people 00:06:05.899 --> 00:06:08.660 who want or need your empathy don't just need 00:06:08.660 --> 00:06:12.259 you to understand okay which is cognitive empathy 00:06:12.259 --> 00:06:16.500 and they certainly don't need you to just feel 00:06:16.500 --> 00:06:19.300 their pain or worse you know to burst into tears 00:06:19.300 --> 00:06:21.899 alongside them which is emotional empathy instead 00:06:21.899 --> 00:06:24.259 they need you to understand and sympathize with 00:06:24.259 --> 00:06:27.790 what they are going through and crucially either 00:06:27.790 --> 00:06:31.110 take or help them to take action to resolve the 00:06:31.110 --> 00:06:33.589 problem, which is compassionate empathy. That's 00:06:33.589 --> 00:06:37.829 basically the whole gist of that. Then you have 00:06:37.829 --> 00:06:40.329 to find the balance, okay? Cognitive empathy 00:06:40.329 --> 00:06:43.589 can often be considered under -emotional. It 00:06:43.589 --> 00:06:46.629 involves insufficient feelings and therefore 00:06:46.629 --> 00:06:49.230 perhaps too much logical analysis. It may be 00:06:49.230 --> 00:06:51.750 perceived as an unsympathetic response by those 00:06:51.750 --> 00:06:55.649 in distress. OK, as for emotional empathy, by 00:06:55.649 --> 00:07:00.550 contrast, is over emotional. That's one of those 00:07:00.550 --> 00:07:02.629 things that we mentioned earlier. Too much emotion 00:07:02.629 --> 00:07:06.689 or feeling can be unhelpful. And I will cover 00:07:06.689 --> 00:07:10.769 how to manage your emotions. Don't worry. Emotions 00:07:10.769 --> 00:07:13.180 are very primitive. Feeling strong emotions, 00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:15.819 especially distress, takes us back to childhood, 00:07:16.040 --> 00:07:18.839 more or less by definition, that makes us less 00:07:18.839 --> 00:07:21.279 able to cope and certainly less able to think 00:07:21.279 --> 00:07:23.980 and apply reason to the situation. It's very 00:07:23.980 --> 00:07:26.920 hard to help anyone else if you are overwhelmed 00:07:26.920 --> 00:07:31.300 by your own emotions. So, with that being said, 00:07:31.500 --> 00:07:34.839 in exercising compassionate empathy, we find 00:07:34.839 --> 00:07:36.860 the right balance between logic and emotion. 00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:40.800 We can feel another person's pain as if it was 00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:42.959 happening to us and therefore express the appropriate 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:45.740 amount of sympathy. At the same time, we can 00:07:45.740 --> 00:07:47.759 also remain in control of our own emotions and 00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:51.459 apply reason to the situation. Okay? This means 00:07:51.459 --> 00:07:53.300 that we can make better decisions and provide 00:07:53.300 --> 00:07:56.819 appropriate support to them where and when it 00:07:56.819 --> 00:08:00.740 is actually necessary. Okay? And I point this 00:08:00.740 --> 00:08:02.959 out specifically because it's one of those things 00:08:02.959 --> 00:08:08.370 that people tend to overlook. Alright? So with 00:08:08.370 --> 00:08:13.910 that, I am finished with covering empathy. Next, 00:08:14.089 --> 00:08:16.209 we're going to cover understanding others and 00:08:16.209 --> 00:08:17.389 how to manage your emotions.