WEBVTT 00:00:00.650 --> 00:00:04.790 Welcome back everybody to Thoughts If It Were 00:00:04.790 --> 00:00:10.089 You by Neo Gentrics. We're going to continue with 00:00:10.089 --> 00:00:13.589 emotional intelligence as an interpersonal skill. 00:00:13.750 --> 00:00:16.750 We're going to talk about the social skills required 00:00:16.750 --> 00:00:20.429 that most people should have in the emotional 00:00:20.429 --> 00:00:25.949 intelligence. Social skills is a very broad term 00:00:25.949 --> 00:00:35.000 and I will cover that in general. But it is also 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:37.740 used quite specifically in the context of emotional 00:00:37.740 --> 00:00:41.420 intelligence. In emotional intelligence, the 00:00:41.420 --> 00:00:43.799 term social skills refers to the skills needed 00:00:43.799 --> 00:00:47.560 to handle and influence other people's emotions 00:00:47.560 --> 00:00:50.859 effectively. While this may sound like manipulation, 00:00:51.439 --> 00:00:55.979 it can actually be as simple as understanding 00:00:55.979 --> 00:00:58.320 that smiling at people makes them smile back. 00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:02.700 can therefore make them feel much more positive. 00:01:05.319 --> 00:01:07.980 Social skills can therefore be considered as 00:01:07.980 --> 00:01:10.780 the final piece of emotional intelligence. A 00:01:10.780 --> 00:01:15.299 jigsaw puzzle, if you will. Emotional intelligence 00:01:15.299 --> 00:01:17.239 starts with understanding your own emotions, 00:01:17.400 --> 00:01:20.400 which is self -awareness, then being able to 00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:24.079 manage them, self -regulation, and then use them 00:01:24.079 --> 00:01:28.299 to achieve your goals, self -motivation. Once 00:01:28.299 --> 00:01:30.140 you're able to understand and manage yourself, 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:33.060 then you start to understand the emotions and 00:01:33.060 --> 00:01:37.200 feelings of others, aka empathy, and finally 00:01:37.200 --> 00:01:40.560 influence them in the terms of social skills. 00:01:42.560 --> 00:01:45.780 The term social skills covers a wide range of 00:01:45.780 --> 00:01:49.579 skills. The social skills in the emotional intelligence 00:01:49.579 --> 00:01:52.840 sense include persuasion, influencing skills, 00:01:53.120 --> 00:01:59.439 communication skills, Climate management skills, 00:01:59.640 --> 00:02:01.799 leadership skills, change management skills, 00:02:02.060 --> 00:02:08.000 building bonds or rapport, if you will. Collaboration 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:15.219 and cooperation. Basically, teamwork. The persuasion 00:02:15.219 --> 00:02:20.039 and influence skills. Persuasion is the art of 00:02:20.039 --> 00:02:25.050 enthusing others, if you will. and winning them 00:02:25.050 --> 00:02:29.030 over to your ideas or purpose, cause, or course 00:02:29.030 --> 00:02:32.969 of action. People who are persuasive or have 00:02:32.969 --> 00:02:35.229 influence read the emotional currents in the 00:02:35.229 --> 00:02:37.770 situation and fine -tune what they are saying 00:02:37.770 --> 00:02:41.770 to appeal to those involved, in which case this 00:02:41.770 --> 00:03:06.819 is not manipulation. Communication skills. Communication 00:03:06.819 --> 00:03:09.460 skills are vital to good emotional intelligence. 00:03:10.259 --> 00:03:12.360 You need to be able to listen to others and also 00:03:12.360 --> 00:03:14.840 convey your own thoughts and perhaps more importantly 00:03:14.840 --> 00:03:22.719 feelings. Good communicators, they listen well 00:03:22.719 --> 00:03:25.439 to those around them. Make sure that they understand 00:03:25.439 --> 00:03:29.020 what is said and seek for open sharing of information. 00:03:31.530 --> 00:03:34.050 They're prepared to hear about problems and not 00:03:34.050 --> 00:03:38.509 just want to be told about their names. They're 00:03:38.509 --> 00:03:40.789 able to deal with difficult issues straight away 00:03:40.789 --> 00:03:44.949 and don't allow problems to fester. They register 00:03:44.949 --> 00:03:47.150 and act upon emotional cues in communicating, 00:03:47.229 --> 00:03:49.830 making sure that their messages are appropriate 00:03:49.830 --> 00:03:56.150 for the certain situation that is needed. If 00:03:56.150 --> 00:03:58.430 you have problems with communicating and communication 00:03:58.430 --> 00:04:02.909 skills, don't worry, I will cover it. But first, 00:04:02.990 --> 00:04:08.250 let's cover conflict management skills. Conflict 00:04:08.250 --> 00:04:11.449 and disagreements can arise at any time, often 00:04:11.449 --> 00:04:14.370 seeming to appear out of thin air. The art of 00:04:14.370 --> 00:04:17.110 managing and resolving conflict is crucial both 00:04:17.110 --> 00:04:19.550 at home and at work. It starts by being aware 00:04:19.550 --> 00:04:22.490 of the importance of tact and diplomacy, and 00:04:22.490 --> 00:04:24.670 how these can be used to help to defuse difficult 00:04:24.670 --> 00:04:29.470 situations. Good conflict managers are able to 00:04:29.470 --> 00:04:32.329 bring disagreements into the open. and resolving 00:04:32.329 --> 00:04:36.069 it. They use sharing of emotions to encourage 00:04:36.069 --> 00:04:38.810 debate and open discussion, reducing the hidden 00:04:38.810 --> 00:04:42.189 patterns and patterns, and helping each part 00:04:42.189 --> 00:04:44.870 to recognize each other's feelings as well as 00:04:44.870 --> 00:04:49.569 logical positions. They also try to win -win 00:04:49.569 --> 00:04:54.449 solutions as well, but that's more of a transactional 00:04:54.449 --> 00:04:57.370 analysis and negotiation of all skills, as well 00:04:57.370 --> 00:04:59.350 as conflict resolution and meditation skills. 00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:03.379 It has nothing to do with emotional intelligence. 00:05:06.420 --> 00:05:09.240 Next is leadership skills. It may sound strange 00:05:09.240 --> 00:05:11.199 to include leadership skills as part of social 00:05:11.199 --> 00:05:14.639 skills, but surely EI is part of leadership. 00:05:15.639 --> 00:05:20.860 Not the only way around, okay? The answer is 00:05:20.860 --> 00:05:24.259 that leadership and emotional intelligence are 00:05:24.259 --> 00:05:28.269 intricately linked. As we noted earlier, Only 00:05:28.269 --> 00:05:30.329 those who are turned into their own and others' 00:05:30.350 --> 00:05:33.350 emotions can help to influence. Perhaps the key 00:05:33.350 --> 00:05:36.410 aspect of good leadership is influence and being 00:05:36.410 --> 00:05:39.129 able to take others along with you. Some people 00:05:39.129 --> 00:05:41.889 may call that charisma, but it is more profoundly. 00:05:42.490 --> 00:05:46.870 It is a good emotion on topics. Good leaders 00:05:46.870 --> 00:05:50.829 will be able to articulate a vision and enthuse 00:05:50.829 --> 00:05:54.149 others with it. Not need to be in a homo -leadership 00:05:54.149 --> 00:05:56.870 role to provide leadership. Support and guide 00:05:56.870 --> 00:05:58.730 the performance of colleagues while holding them 00:05:58.730 --> 00:06:02.110 accountable, and then lead by example. This is 00:06:02.110 --> 00:06:06.310 leadership. Keep in mind, I will cover leadership 00:06:06.310 --> 00:06:08.930 in more detail later, but I'm just giving a quick 00:06:08.930 --> 00:06:11.569 overview of each one of these skills, social 00:06:11.569 --> 00:06:14.129 skills, that is required for emotional intelligence. 00:06:43.149 --> 00:06:47.389 Change management skills Effective change managers 00:06:47.389 --> 00:06:52.449 often change as a change catalyst, or those who 00:06:52.449 --> 00:06:57.629 make change happen without ailing to name everyone 00:06:57.629 --> 00:07:00.529 involved. We can all understand that change is 00:07:00.529 --> 00:07:02.509 naturally quite stressful for all those involved. 00:07:03.069 --> 00:07:06.189 Good change catalysts, however, make it an exciting 00:07:06.189 --> 00:07:08.949 opportunity rather than a threat. Independently, 00:07:09.009 --> 00:07:11.709 they recognize the need for change and remove 00:07:11.709 --> 00:07:15.079 the barriers. They challenge the status quo and 00:07:15.079 --> 00:07:18.740 champion change. They also lead from the front, 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:23.060 modeling the desired change. In the process of 00:07:23.060 --> 00:07:25.899 trying to do this, they also work on building 00:07:25.899 --> 00:07:32.060 bonds or building rapport. It is vital to be 00:07:32.060 --> 00:07:34.019 able to build and maintain relationships with 00:07:34.019 --> 00:07:37.240 other people. Developing this skill leads to 00:07:37.240 --> 00:07:39.240 better relationships and much better ability 00:07:39.240 --> 00:07:44.170 to work and get on in life. are great networkers, 00:07:44.170 --> 00:07:47.870 buildings, and maintaining a strong network of 00:07:47.870 --> 00:07:50.670 contacts and connections. They're extremely good 00:07:50.670 --> 00:07:53.689 at building rapport, but also work on establishing 00:07:53.689 --> 00:07:57.170 relationships to keep them healthy. One hallmark 00:07:57.170 --> 00:08:00.389 of people who are good at this skill is that 00:08:00.389 --> 00:08:03.430 they have many friends among their work colleagues. 00:08:03.529 --> 00:08:10.800 It's very much about valuing others. Being interested 00:08:10.800 --> 00:08:14.319 in them and wanting to know more about them without 00:08:14.319 --> 00:08:19.000 any secondary intentions behind it. Next, they're 00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:21.560 able to cooperate and collaborate with others. 00:08:21.660 --> 00:08:25.839 This is a good teamwork skill to have. There 00:08:25.839 --> 00:08:27.699 are some people who work well with others. They 00:08:27.699 --> 00:08:33.580 build good and productive working and other relationships 00:08:33.580 --> 00:08:37.360 as well. This is a key social skill in emotional 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:40.049 intelligence. These people tend to see the relationship 00:08:40.049 --> 00:08:43.929 as at least as important as the task in hand. 00:08:44.070 --> 00:08:47.429 They value people as much as they, as much as 00:08:47.429 --> 00:08:51.710 more as the activity itself. They actively collaborate, 00:08:51.789 --> 00:08:54.750 sharing plans and ideas, work together to build 00:08:54.750 --> 00:09:00.929 a whole better. I said that wrong. They, and 00:09:00.929 --> 00:09:05.789 work together to build a better whole. I know 00:09:05.789 --> 00:09:08.539 what I want to say. It's not coming up. In doing 00:09:08.539 --> 00:09:13.320 so, they promote a cooperative climate in which 00:09:13.320 --> 00:09:16.740 everyone is invited to contribute. They also 00:09:16.740 --> 00:09:18.879 actively seek out opportunities for collaborative 00:09:18.879 --> 00:09:22.559 working. When good team workers are in a team, 00:09:22.600 --> 00:09:25.480 the team performs better. They draw other members 00:09:25.480 --> 00:09:29.139 of the team in and help them to collaborate. 00:09:32.620 --> 00:09:35.179 They build a team identity and therefore foster 00:09:35.179 --> 00:09:39.120 commitment. They may do this from a leadership 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:42.899 role, or they may be a subordinate, but having 00:09:42.899 --> 00:09:46.500 people like this in a team is crucial to success, 00:09:46.639 --> 00:10:11.620 no matter who you are. A cycle of emotional intelligence. 00:10:12.659 --> 00:10:15.159 Social skills are where good emotional intelligence 00:10:15.159 --> 00:10:19.039 is perhaps most obvious. However, emotional intelligence 00:10:19.039 --> 00:10:21.399 does not start or end with social skills. Instead, 00:10:21.580 --> 00:10:25.639 it is a cycle, with its core lying with and in 00:10:25.639 --> 00:10:27.980 the individual. Only those who understand and 00:10:27.980 --> 00:10:30.080 regulate themselves and their emotions are able 00:10:30.080 --> 00:10:32.440 to work well with the if and effectively with 00:10:32.440 --> 00:10:37.080 others. Understanding is crucial to... Sorry 00:10:37.080 --> 00:10:39.440 understanding this is crucial to developing your 00:10:39.440 --> 00:10:41.879 emotional intelligence and deepening your bonds 00:10:41.879 --> 00:10:47.360 with the people around It's one of those things 00:10:47.360 --> 00:10:54.200 that You learn to come to understand that it's 00:10:54.200 --> 00:11:01.620 not as It's not as mainstream as everyone would 00:11:01.620 --> 00:11:05.480 understand or believe it to be While this skill 00:11:05.480 --> 00:11:08.379 does require you to understand others and be 00:11:08.379 --> 00:11:10.679 able to build upon your basic social skills, 00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:16.759 not everyone has these skills. But they all can 00:11:16.759 --> 00:11:19.539 be learned, if not earned, in some way or form. 00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:23.639 If you're not sure if you have any of these skills, 00:11:23.899 --> 00:11:27.460 or you'd like to know more about it, whether 00:11:27.460 --> 00:11:30.419 I cover it or I don't, in one of my upcoming 00:11:30.419 --> 00:11:34.840 podcasts, feel free to let me know. And I will 00:11:34.840 --> 00:11:37.360 definitely cover it for you in as much detail 00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:40.179 as I can, getting in as much information as possible 00:11:40.179 --> 00:11:43.159 in a short time frame. So you can understand 00:11:43.159 --> 00:11:46.220 what the basic gist of whatever that skill is 00:11:46.220 --> 00:11:49.120 that you're looking for. So you can understand 00:11:49.120 --> 00:11:51.639 it better, to utilize it in your everyday life. 00:11:52.679 --> 00:11:56.659 I'm here to help everybody, if I can. Or at least 00:11:56.659 --> 00:12:00.860 help those that need or want help. I provide 00:12:00.860 --> 00:12:03.059 the information that most people can't even find. 00:12:03.399 --> 00:12:06.600 Or don't know how to find or look for me. Or 00:12:06.600 --> 00:12:12.320 they're not certain of me. Yes, I do talk a lot 00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:17.139 in a lot of my podcasts. But I'm not saying what 00:12:17.139 --> 00:12:20.279 I say because I enjoy speaking. I say what I 00:12:20.279 --> 00:12:22.179 say because I know people need to know this and 00:12:22.179 --> 00:12:26.179 not everybody does. And it's not fair to the 00:12:26.179 --> 00:12:28.379 rest of us to assume that someone knows something 00:12:28.379 --> 00:12:30.840 when they don't. Just based off of how they act. 00:12:35.399 --> 00:12:38.600 And while situations may not allow for, say, 00:12:38.700 --> 00:12:40.600 your mom, your dad, your uncle, aunt, or what 00:12:40.600 --> 00:12:43.679 have you to teach you these skills, it doesn't 00:12:43.679 --> 00:12:47.539 mean that they are inaccessible to you. So again, 00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:50.340 I thank you for listening to my podcast. This 00:12:50.340 --> 00:12:52.759 is Food for Thought. Thoughts If It Were You 00:12:52.759 --> 00:12:57.399 by Neogentrics. And I hope you enjoy the rest 00:12:57.399 --> 00:12:57.779 of your day.