WEBVTT 00:00:24.910 --> 00:00:27.629 Welcome back, everybody. This is Food for Thought, 00:00:27.769 --> 00:00:31.329 Thoughts If It Were You by Neogentrics. And here 00:00:31.329 --> 00:00:32.929 we're going to continue our discussion on essential 00:00:32.929 --> 00:00:35.729 skills, picking up what we left off last time. 00:00:36.009 --> 00:00:38.450 I covered self -awareness, so today we're going 00:00:38.450 --> 00:00:41.070 to cover self -regulation and self -management. 00:00:42.630 --> 00:00:45.649 Self -regulation, or self -management, is the 00:00:45.649 --> 00:00:48.030 second of the three areas of personal skills 00:00:48.030 --> 00:00:52.070 that make up emotional intelligence. Self -regulation 00:00:52.070 --> 00:00:54.450 is concerned with how you control and manage 00:00:54.450 --> 00:00:57.149 yourself and your emotions, inner resources, 00:00:57.469 --> 00:01:00.189 and abilities. It also includes your ability 00:01:00.189 --> 00:01:03.829 to manage your impulses. Self -regulation also 00:01:03.829 --> 00:01:06.450 includes an element of taking responsibility 00:01:06.450 --> 00:01:09.090 for your own actions and ensuring that what you 00:01:09.090 --> 00:01:12.489 do matches with your personal values, going back 00:01:12.489 --> 00:01:17.090 to the moral compass. Five elements make up self 00:01:17.090 --> 00:01:19.310 -regulation. Self -control, trustworthiness, 00:01:19.469 --> 00:01:22.120 conscientiousness, Adaptability and Innovation. 00:01:23.140 --> 00:01:25.319 Granted, I've already covered self -control, 00:01:26.480 --> 00:01:30.299 trustworthiness, and conscientiousness in self 00:01:30.299 --> 00:01:34.739 -esteem before. So I'll go a little more in depth 00:01:34.739 --> 00:01:38.260 on adaptability and innovation at a later date, 00:01:38.439 --> 00:01:41.000 but I'm just going to skim through each one of 00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:44.219 them for the sake of this topic. Self -control, 00:01:44.420 --> 00:01:46.319 since I already covered it once before, I'll 00:01:46.319 --> 00:01:50.760 give you a brief overview of it. For those who 00:01:50.760 --> 00:01:53.680 haven't heard it yet, it's not making or hiding 00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:56.640 your emotions, but recognizing and controlling 00:01:56.640 --> 00:02:00.400 them appropriately. This means not making a rash 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:02.980 decision or overreacting to a situation, but 00:02:02.980 --> 00:02:06.620 remaining calm and rational. It leads to being 00:02:06.620 --> 00:02:09.000 able to make balanced decisions based on what 00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:11.159 is really important, and not just how you feel 00:02:11.159 --> 00:02:14.780 at that current moment. People who have a good 00:02:14.780 --> 00:02:17.000 self -control generally remain calm even when 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:19.340 stressed. They're able to think clearly under 00:02:19.340 --> 00:02:22.419 pressure and still make good decisions. Self 00:02:22.419 --> 00:02:25.020 -control usually manifests itself as the absence 00:02:25.020 --> 00:02:31.340 of visual emotion. We all react badly or inappropriately 00:02:31.340 --> 00:02:34.520 to events or situations in the past, and we all 00:02:34.520 --> 00:02:37.800 do the same in the future. Reflective practice, 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:41.620 i .e. taking a back over some situations, enable 00:02:41.620 --> 00:02:45.240 us to analyze and understand why we even acted 00:02:45.240 --> 00:02:49.819 that way in the first place. And this, in turn, 00:02:49.879 --> 00:02:51.879 helps us to behave more intelligently in the 00:02:51.879 --> 00:02:55.159 future. When reflecting, it is useful to think 00:02:55.159 --> 00:02:57.819 of yourself in a positive way. Don't think, I 00:02:57.819 --> 00:03:00.000 have completely messed that up. I'm a failure. 00:03:00.939 --> 00:03:03.419 But, you know, aim for something more positive, 00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:07.159 such as, I can use those experiences to learn 00:03:07.159 --> 00:03:11.520 and become a better person. If you're not quite 00:03:11.520 --> 00:03:16.840 sure how to go about reflective practices, Check 00:03:16.840 --> 00:03:22.219 out my reflective practices podcast. I guarantee 00:03:22.219 --> 00:03:40.639 you'll enjoy. As for trustworthiness and conscientiousness, 00:03:40.819 --> 00:03:44.860 as mentioned before, those... can be just considered 00:03:44.860 --> 00:03:48.060 as two slices of the same coin, because both 00:03:48.060 --> 00:03:50.699 are about behaving well in accordance with your 00:03:50.699 --> 00:03:57.080 personal values and code of ethics. Trustworthiness 00:03:57.080 --> 00:03:59.219 is your ability to maintain your integrity, which 00:03:59.219 --> 00:04:01.379 means ensuring that what you do is consistent 00:04:01.379 --> 00:04:04.080 with your personal values. You may find it helpful. 00:04:05.259 --> 00:04:08.099 As I mentioned before, go check out my podcast 00:04:08.099 --> 00:04:11.740 on learning to use your moral compass, or rather, 00:04:13.199 --> 00:04:15.460 you know, becoming more in tune with yourself. 00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:19.079 People who are trustworthy and act ethically, 00:04:19.139 --> 00:04:22.959 they build trust in their personal actions, and 00:04:22.959 --> 00:04:25.379 the way that their actions are consistent with 00:04:25.379 --> 00:04:28.939 their espoused values. They're also prepared 00:04:28.939 --> 00:04:32.720 to confront unethical actions and take a stand 00:04:32.720 --> 00:04:35.480 when necessary, even if that stand will be considered 00:04:35.480 --> 00:04:39.240 unpopular. And religious values are not essential. 00:04:39.819 --> 00:04:41.899 Although many world religions have made trust 00:04:41.899 --> 00:04:44.519 voting as a key value, religious views are not 00:04:44.519 --> 00:04:47.300 essential to acting ethically. The key is to 00:04:47.300 --> 00:04:49.620 ensure that you know and understand that your 00:04:49.620 --> 00:04:51.680 core values and that your actions are consistent 00:04:51.680 --> 00:04:56.180 with each other. Conscientiousness is taking 00:04:56.180 --> 00:04:58.459 responsibility for your own personal performance 00:04:58.459 --> 00:05:00.879 and making sure that it matches up with your 00:05:00.879 --> 00:05:08.389 abilities and your values. Very same guy, I know 00:05:08.389 --> 00:05:11.750 I talk about this guy a lot, but Daniel Goleman, 00:05:11.790 --> 00:05:14.610 the author of several books, he wrote more than 00:05:14.610 --> 00:05:17.170 one on emotional intelligence, says that conscientious 00:05:17.170 --> 00:05:19.990 people meet their commitments and keep their 00:05:19.990 --> 00:05:21.949 promises to others. They take responsibility 00:05:21.949 --> 00:05:24.790 for settings and then achieving realistic objectives 00:05:24.790 --> 00:05:28.449 in their life and work, and are careful about 00:05:28.449 --> 00:05:30.730 their work, organizing themselves to make sure 00:05:30.730 --> 00:05:34.009 that they can actually achieve it. This falls 00:05:34.009 --> 00:05:36.149 under the category of setting personal goals, 00:05:36.329 --> 00:05:38.930 organizing skills, and even time management, 00:05:39.029 --> 00:05:44.490 but I'll cover those later. Next would be adaptability. 00:05:45.970 --> 00:05:48.449 It's defined by Daniel Goleman as being flexible 00:05:48.449 --> 00:05:52.029 in responding to change. Change is difficult 00:05:52.029 --> 00:05:55.430 for many of us to manage. Anyone who has had 00:05:55.430 --> 00:05:57.670 any close contact with children will recognize 00:05:57.670 --> 00:06:00.430 that change is unsettling and stressful for small 00:06:00.430 --> 00:06:03.240 children. and that being able to manage it is, 00:06:03.300 --> 00:06:06.139 in its own right, very much a learned skill. 00:06:06.620 --> 00:06:09.040 Without careful control and development of our 00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:12.240 personal adaptability and resilience, personal 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:15.019 change can remain very stressful even into adulthood. 00:06:16.180 --> 00:06:19.220 However, by understanding what is happening and 00:06:19.220 --> 00:06:22.060 developing our own abilities to manage change, 00:06:22.220 --> 00:06:24.939 it is possible to greet change as an adventure 00:06:24.939 --> 00:06:48.399 rather than a problem. Adaptable people. Those 00:06:48.399 --> 00:06:50.839 who have spent time developing a personal ability 00:06:50.839 --> 00:06:54.139 to manage and respond to change tend to be able 00:06:54.139 --> 00:06:56.319 to manage multiple demands on their time and 00:06:56.319 --> 00:06:59.100 energy, prioritizing effectively and accepting 00:06:59.100 --> 00:07:03.540 rapid change when necessary. Adapt their responses 00:07:03.540 --> 00:07:06.399 and the way that they operate to fit different 00:07:06.399 --> 00:07:09.300 situations effectively and be flexible in how 00:07:09.300 --> 00:07:11.899 they see events, being able to see multiple different 00:07:11.899 --> 00:07:16.060 perspectives at once. With that, that makes them 00:07:16.060 --> 00:07:19.120 innovative. Innovation is being open to novel 00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:21.899 ideas and approaches. As Daniel Goleman put it, 00:07:22.040 --> 00:07:24.620 innovative people tend to look for new ideas 00:07:24.620 --> 00:07:28.100 from a wide range of sources. They're prepared 00:07:28.100 --> 00:07:30.800 to consider new ways of solving problems, even 00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:32.639 if that is not the way that we're always done 00:07:32.639 --> 00:07:37.720 it around in the area that we're in. They generate 00:07:37.720 --> 00:07:42.000 their own new ideas, are prepared to see things 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:44.399 from different perspectives, taking risks, in 00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:46.759 their thinking, even if it means putting them 00:07:46.759 --> 00:07:49.600 in a very uncomfortable position. This falls 00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:53.879 under the category of personal development. Personal 00:07:53.879 --> 00:07:57.019 development is concerned with our own desire 00:07:57.019 --> 00:07:59.339 to become a better person by learning new skills 00:07:59.339 --> 00:08:02.879 and developing existing ones. It's a key part 00:08:02.879 --> 00:08:05.699 of both innovation and adaptability because it's 00:08:05.699 --> 00:08:08.379 about being proactive and showing innovation. 00:08:10.329 --> 00:08:13.069 Learning new skills because we want to do so, 00:08:13.170 --> 00:08:17.990 not because we have to do so. An essential part 00:08:17.990 --> 00:08:23.329 of emotional intelligence it is, and learning 00:08:23.329 --> 00:08:26.189 to regulate and manage yourself, your emotions, 00:08:26.209 --> 00:08:28.629 and your inner resources is a key stepping stone 00:08:28.629 --> 00:08:32.870 to good EI. Only those who understand and value 00:08:32.870 --> 00:08:36.309 themselves are able to draw on their own resources, 00:08:36.629 --> 00:08:39.230 will be able to relate fully and even completely. 00:08:39.480 --> 00:08:44.659 Completely to others as well. Keep this in mind. 00:08:45.100 --> 00:08:47.820 As it will help you move forward. A lot easier 00:08:47.820 --> 00:08:51.539 in life. Without you know. Getting in trouble. 00:08:51.700 --> 00:08:53.960 And it will help avoid conflict with other people. 00:08:55.559 --> 00:08:59.120 And as always. Thank you for listening. And please 00:08:59.120 --> 00:09:01.340 enjoy the rest of your day. This is food for 00:09:01.340 --> 00:09:04.879 thought. Thoughts that fit where you. Enjoy the 00:09:04.879 --> 00:09:05.539 rest of your day.