Welcome back, everybody. This is Food for Thought,
Thoughts If It Were You by Neogentrics. And here
we're going to continue our discussion on essential
skills, picking up what we left off last time.
I covered self -awareness, so today we're going
to cover self -regulation and self -management.
Self -regulation, or self -management, is the
second of the three areas of personal skills
that make up emotional intelligence. Self -regulation
is concerned with how you control and manage
yourself and your emotions, inner resources,
and abilities. It also includes your ability
to manage your impulses. Self -regulation also
includes an element of taking responsibility
for your own actions and ensuring that what you
do matches with your personal values, going back
to the moral compass. Five elements make up self
-regulation. Self -control, trustworthiness,
conscientiousness, Adaptability and Innovation.
Granted, I've already covered self -control,
trustworthiness, and conscientiousness in self
-esteem before. So I'll go a little more in depth
on adaptability and innovation at a later date,
but I'm just going to skim through each one of
them for the sake of this topic. Self -control,
since I already covered it once before, I'll
give you a brief overview of it. For those who
haven't heard it yet, it's not making or hiding
your emotions, but recognizing and controlling
them appropriately. This means not making a rash
decision or overreacting to a situation, but
remaining calm and rational. It leads to being
able to make balanced decisions based on what
is really important, and not just how you feel
at that current moment. People who have a good
self -control generally remain calm even when
stressed. They're able to think clearly under
pressure and still make good decisions. Self
-control usually manifests itself as the absence
of visual emotion. We all react badly or inappropriately
to events or situations in the past, and we all
do the same in the future. Reflective practice,
i .e. taking a back over some situations, enable
us to analyze and understand why we even acted
that way in the first place. And this, in turn,
helps us to behave more intelligently in the
future. When reflecting, it is useful to think
of yourself in a positive way. Don't think, I
have completely messed that up. I'm a failure.
But, you know, aim for something more positive,
such as, I can use those experiences to learn
and become a better person. If you're not quite
sure how to go about reflective practices, Check
out my reflective practices podcast. I guarantee
you'll enjoy. As for trustworthiness and conscientiousness,
as mentioned before, those... can be just considered
as two slices of the same coin, because both
are about behaving well in accordance with your
personal values and code of ethics. Trustworthiness
is your ability to maintain your integrity, which
means ensuring that what you do is consistent
with your personal values. You may find it helpful.
As I mentioned before, go check out my podcast
on learning to use your moral compass, or rather,
you know, becoming more in tune with yourself.
People who are trustworthy and act ethically,
they build trust in their personal actions, and
the way that their actions are consistent with
their espoused values. They're also prepared
to confront unethical actions and take a stand
when necessary, even if that stand will be considered
unpopular. And religious values are not essential.
Although many world religions have made trust
voting as a key value, religious views are not
essential to acting ethically. The key is to
ensure that you know and understand that your
core values and that your actions are consistent
with each other. Conscientiousness is taking
responsibility for your own personal performance
and making sure that it matches up with your
abilities and your values. Very same guy, I know
I talk about this guy a lot, but Daniel Goleman,
the author of several books, he wrote more than
one on emotional intelligence, says that conscientious
people meet their commitments and keep their
promises to others. They take responsibility
for settings and then achieving realistic objectives
in their life and work, and are careful about
their work, organizing themselves to make sure
that they can actually achieve it. This falls
under the category of setting personal goals,
organizing skills, and even time management,
but I'll cover those later. Next would be adaptability.
It's defined by Daniel Goleman as being flexible
in responding to change. Change is difficult
for many of us to manage. Anyone who has had
any close contact with children will recognize
that change is unsettling and stressful for small
children. and that being able to manage it is,
in its own right, very much a learned skill.
Without careful control and development of our
personal adaptability and resilience, personal
change can remain very stressful even into adulthood.
However, by understanding what is happening and
developing our own abilities to manage change,
it is possible to greet change as an adventure
rather than a problem. Adaptable people. Those
who have spent time developing a personal ability
to manage and respond to change tend to be able
to manage multiple demands on their time and
energy, prioritizing effectively and accepting
rapid change when necessary. Adapt their responses
and the way that they operate to fit different
situations effectively and be flexible in how
they see events, being able to see multiple different
perspectives at once. With that, that makes them
innovative. Innovation is being open to novel
ideas and approaches. As Daniel Goleman put it,
innovative people tend to look for new ideas
from a wide range of sources. They're prepared
to consider new ways of solving problems, even
if that is not the way that we're always done
it around in the area that we're in. They generate
their own new ideas, are prepared to see things
from different perspectives, taking risks, in
their thinking, even if it means putting them
in a very uncomfortable position. This falls
under the category of personal development. Personal
development is concerned with our own desire
to become a better person by learning new skills
and developing existing ones. It's a key part
of both innovation and adaptability because it's
about being proactive and showing innovation.
Learning new skills because we want to do so,
not because we have to do so. An essential part
of emotional intelligence it is, and learning
to regulate and manage yourself, your emotions,
and your inner resources is a key stepping stone
to good EI. Only those who understand and value
themselves are able to draw on their own resources,
will be able to relate fully and even completely.
Completely to others as well. Keep this in mind.
As it will help you move forward. A lot easier
in life. Without you know. Getting in trouble.
And it will help avoid conflict with other people.
And as always. Thank you for listening. And please
enjoy the rest of your day. This is food for
thought. Thoughts that fit where you. Enjoy the
rest of your day.