WEBVTT 00:00:01.240 --> 00:00:04.000 Hey, hey, hey everybody, it's Neogentrics with 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:06.799 Food for Thought, Thoughts If It Were You. Today 00:00:06.799 --> 00:00:09.000 we're going to take a slight deviation from what 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:12.140 I said I was going to talk about before. Now, 00:00:12.179 --> 00:00:15.160 you know I'm covering essential skills, personal 00:00:15.160 --> 00:00:17.559 skills, interpersonal skills. I'm even going 00:00:17.559 --> 00:00:19.679 to cover some leadership learning skills, presentation 00:00:19.679 --> 00:00:22.960 skills, maybe a few writing, numerical, and parenting 00:00:22.960 --> 00:00:26.039 skills later. But for the moment, let's take 00:00:26.039 --> 00:00:30.570 a step back at a personal skill that... A friend 00:00:30.570 --> 00:00:33.869 of mine asked me about today. It's a little strange. 00:00:34.549 --> 00:00:37.909 Typically, I don't really like answering questions. 00:00:39.189 --> 00:00:42.630 I like asking questions and making other people 00:00:42.630 --> 00:00:44.469 think about it so they can come to their own 00:00:44.469 --> 00:00:48.909 realization of what they mean. Well, my friend 00:00:48.909 --> 00:00:50.750 came to me today and he asked me a question. 00:00:51.649 --> 00:00:56.929 The question he asked is, what is anger? Of course, 00:00:56.969 --> 00:00:59.009 I had to stop and look at him like, are you serious? 00:00:59.630 --> 00:01:01.950 I mean, you know, anger is a natural, though 00:01:01.950 --> 00:01:05.230 sometimes unwanted, irrational emotion that everybody 00:01:05.230 --> 00:01:07.469 experiences from time to time in their life. 00:01:08.030 --> 00:01:10.909 And I just looked at him. I kind of had to ask, 00:01:11.109 --> 00:01:15.349 I mean, why would you ask me what is anger? You 00:01:15.349 --> 00:01:18.290 know, I mean, come to think of it, I stopped 00:01:18.290 --> 00:01:21.930 for a second. I thought, do you listen to my 00:01:21.930 --> 00:01:24.549 podcast at all? And, you know, he said he did. 00:01:26.219 --> 00:01:32.900 With that in consideration, I said, okay, I'll 00:01:32.900 --> 00:01:36.939 answer your question. But for all those who wonder 00:01:36.939 --> 00:01:40.680 what is anger as well, I want to go ahead and 00:01:40.680 --> 00:01:43.980 cover that today on my podcast. So I told him 00:01:43.980 --> 00:01:48.040 I'll do a podcast on it. That way you get your 00:01:48.040 --> 00:01:51.260 answer. And if anyone else is wondering what 00:01:51.260 --> 00:01:55.790 is anger, I'll cover it for them as well. What 00:01:55.790 --> 00:01:59.370 is anger? Well, like I said before, it is a natural, 00:01:59.450 --> 00:02:01.409 though sometimes unwanted, irrational emotional 00:02:01.409 --> 00:02:05.349 response that most people get. Anger experts 00:02:05.349 --> 00:02:09.370 describe the emotion as a primary natural emotion 00:02:09.370 --> 00:02:13.250 that has evolved as a way of surviving and protecting 00:02:13.250 --> 00:02:15.669 yourself from what is considered a wrongdoing. 00:02:16.389 --> 00:02:20.330 Well, let me go a little deeper into that. A 00:02:20.330 --> 00:02:23.509 little bit, not by a whole lot. Mild anger may 00:02:23.509 --> 00:02:25.930 be brought on by feeling tired, stressed, or 00:02:25.930 --> 00:02:28.689 even irritated. I can definitely testify to this 00:02:28.689 --> 00:02:31.949 as I'm irritated about maybe 75 % of the time. 00:02:32.569 --> 00:02:36.069 In fact, we are more likely to feel irritated 00:02:36.069 --> 00:02:39.629 if our basic human needs such as food, shelter, 00:02:39.810 --> 00:02:44.409 even sex and sleep, etc. are not met or are jeopardized 00:02:44.409 --> 00:02:48.750 in some way. We also may become angry when reacting 00:02:48.750 --> 00:02:51.289 to frustration, criticism that we don't like, 00:02:51.639 --> 00:02:55.080 or a threat. And it's not necessarily a bad or 00:02:55.080 --> 00:02:58.039 inappropriate reaction, but however, the way 00:02:58.039 --> 00:03:02.379 you go about it can be kind of negative. We can 00:03:02.379 --> 00:03:04.840 also feel irritated by other people's beliefs, 00:03:05.060 --> 00:03:07.740 you know, opinions, actions, hence anger can 00:03:07.740 --> 00:03:09.699 affect our ability to communicate effectively, 00:03:09.960 --> 00:03:12.879 making us more likely to say or do unreasonable 00:03:12.879 --> 00:03:17.280 or irrational things. Being unreasonable or irrational 00:03:17.280 --> 00:03:19.500 can lead others around us to feel threatened. 00:03:20.319 --> 00:03:23.639 Even resentful or angry themselves or you know 00:03:23.639 --> 00:03:27.120 again these can all be barriers to effective 00:03:27.120 --> 00:03:31.939 communicate to effective communication Anger 00:03:31.939 --> 00:03:34.780 can also be a secondary emotion to feeling sad 00:03:34.780 --> 00:03:37.379 frightened threatened or even lonely You know 00:03:37.379 --> 00:03:40.860 it's useful to try to understand why you or somebody 00:03:40.860 --> 00:03:44.319 else is feeling angry at any given time so The 00:03:44.319 --> 00:03:46.919 root causes can be addressed and problem solved 00:03:47.680 --> 00:03:51.860 However, anger is not just a state of mind. It 00:03:51.860 --> 00:03:55.659 can trigger physical changes, including an increased 00:03:55.659 --> 00:03:58.979 heart rate, blood pressure. Levels of hormones 00:03:58.979 --> 00:04:01.240 such as adrenaline prepared us physically for 00:04:01.240 --> 00:04:03.240 a fight. That's why a lot of people break out 00:04:03.240 --> 00:04:06.240 in fights, because they're upset. Due to these 00:04:06.240 --> 00:04:12.960 physical effects, long -term anger can be detrimental 00:04:12.960 --> 00:04:18.829 to health and well -being. a healthy thing in 00:04:18.829 --> 00:04:27.790 retrospect for a long term. You know, now that 00:04:27.790 --> 00:04:32.149 I think about it, I'm talking about what is anger. 00:04:32.670 --> 00:04:37.529 Let me take a sidestep here and talk about how 00:04:37.529 --> 00:04:41.209 anger is expressed. You know, it can be expressed 00:04:41.209 --> 00:04:43.870 in many different ways. Different types of anger 00:04:43.870 --> 00:04:46.689 affect different people differently. I think 00:04:46.689 --> 00:04:49.449 I could have worded that better. And can manifest 00:04:49.449 --> 00:04:51.750 to produce different actions and even signs of 00:04:51.750 --> 00:04:53.610 anger. You know, the most common sign of anger 00:04:53.610 --> 00:04:57.889 are both verbal and non -verbal. You can be abusive 00:04:57.889 --> 00:04:59.949 even without actually raising your hand and hitting 00:04:59.949 --> 00:05:01.529 people. And again, I'm going to go ahead and 00:05:01.529 --> 00:05:04.410 back step here a little bit. Guys, it doesn't 00:05:04.410 --> 00:05:06.629 matter how angry you are, never raise your hand 00:05:06.629 --> 00:05:10.009 to a woman. Okay? Unless you're really sincerely 00:05:10.009 --> 00:05:15.310 looking to go to jail. Or die. Anything. Anyway. 00:05:15.899 --> 00:05:19.459 It can be clear that somebody is angry from what 00:05:19.459 --> 00:05:22.259 they say or how they say it, or from their tone 00:05:22.259 --> 00:05:24.500 of voice. Anger can also be expressed through 00:05:24.500 --> 00:05:27.620 body language and even non -verbal cues. Trying 00:05:27.620 --> 00:05:31.420 to look physically bigger, therefore more intimidating. 00:05:31.660 --> 00:05:34.779 I see this more from guys than women. Staring, 00:05:34.860 --> 00:05:37.540 frowning, clenching a fist. You know, some people 00:05:37.540 --> 00:05:40.879 are very internalizing with their anger, and 00:05:40.879 --> 00:05:43.139 it may be difficult to even notice any physical 00:05:43.139 --> 00:05:48.810 signs. You know, it is however, how do I put 00:05:48.810 --> 00:05:51.509 this, unusual for an actual physical attack to 00:05:51.509 --> 00:05:53.689 transpire without warning signs appearing first. 00:05:53.750 --> 00:05:56.069 You know, like him raising his hand, swinging 00:05:56.069 --> 00:05:59.689 at you, or making advances. And I don't know 00:05:59.689 --> 00:06:01.629 why I'm using guys as the basic response here. 00:06:01.709 --> 00:06:04.629 I guess it's because it's common. But women do 00:06:04.629 --> 00:06:08.410 this too. It's just a little more dangerous. 00:06:10.250 --> 00:06:18.439 What makes people angry? Well... At a basic instinctual 00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:20.980 level, anger may be used as a way to help protect 00:06:20.980 --> 00:06:24.980 territory or family members. Secure or protect 00:06:24.980 --> 00:06:27.560 mating privileges, protect against loss of food 00:06:27.560 --> 00:06:30.259 or any other possessions. Let me think here. 00:06:30.500 --> 00:06:37.399 Or as a response to or perceived threats. Other 00:06:37.399 --> 00:06:39.519 reasons can be very diverse, sometimes rational, 00:06:39.620 --> 00:06:42.899 sometimes irrational. Irrational anger may mean 00:06:42.899 --> 00:06:45.019 that you have a problem with managing your anger 00:06:45.019 --> 00:06:49.899 or even accepting that you are angry. I'm covering 00:06:49.899 --> 00:06:52.399 what anger is. I guess I should cover anger management 00:06:52.399 --> 00:06:59.540 next. Yeah, I'll do that. So, some common triggers 00:06:59.540 --> 00:07:04.800 to anger would be... It's going to be kind of 00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:06.420 a list. It took me a while to write this, okay? 00:07:08.500 --> 00:07:11.439 Grief or sadness, loss of a family member, friend, 00:07:11.699 --> 00:07:15.360 or loved one. Rudeness, poor interpersonal skills, 00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:20.019 or just bad service. That one seems to be very, 00:07:20.040 --> 00:07:24.740 very common. I don't know why. Tiredness, since 00:07:24.740 --> 00:07:27.180 people may have shorter tempers and may be more 00:07:27.180 --> 00:07:30.480 irritable when tired. I am one of those. I have 00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:33.290 to admit it. It's unfortunate, but when I'm tired, 00:07:33.329 --> 00:07:38.410 I don't want to be bothered. Hungry. This one 00:07:38.410 --> 00:07:40.850 seems to be very common. I'm just going to leave 00:07:40.850 --> 00:07:45.350 that one alone. Injustice. You know, for example, 00:07:45.350 --> 00:07:48.350 being bullied, humiliated, or what's the word? 00:07:48.810 --> 00:07:52.170 Embarrassed. Or being told that you or your loved 00:07:52.170 --> 00:07:55.189 one has a serious illness. The last one is actually 00:07:55.189 --> 00:07:57.009 pretty common, but the first three are very, 00:07:57.110 --> 00:08:00.009 very common. It happens in public schools. Sexual 00:08:00.009 --> 00:08:03.670 frustration. I wouldn't know about that one too 00:08:03.670 --> 00:08:09.110 much because, well, I don't do that. So, money 00:08:09.110 --> 00:08:11.370 problems and the stress associated with debt, 00:08:11.529 --> 00:08:14.990 some form of stress on realistic deadlines, and 00:08:14.990 --> 00:08:17.449 things beyond immediate control such as being 00:08:17.449 --> 00:08:20.670 stuck in traffic. I'm going to be honest with 00:08:20.670 --> 00:08:22.449 you guys. If you're getting upset because you're 00:08:22.449 --> 00:08:24.250 stuck in traffic, you should have left earlier. 00:08:24.870 --> 00:08:28.220 Okay? A feeling of failure or disappointment, 00:08:28.519 --> 00:08:31.000 going back to the previous topic of being stuck 00:08:31.000 --> 00:08:35.480 in traffic, as a prime example. Being angry as 00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:38.120 a result of taking drugs or alcohol when withdrawing 00:08:38.120 --> 00:08:40.279 from such substances. Now, that one is going 00:08:40.279 --> 00:08:43.179 to be uncontrollable. If you're having issues 00:08:43.179 --> 00:08:46.500 with anger because you're doing that. I don't 00:08:46.500 --> 00:08:50.100 think I did a podcast on drugs and alcohol yet, 00:08:50.139 --> 00:08:55.139 but I will do one soon. When it comes down to 00:08:55.139 --> 00:08:59.690 that, you just need... help okay having a crime 00:08:59.690 --> 00:09:01.950 committed against you or loved one theft violence 00:09:01.950 --> 00:09:06.190 sexual offenses um but also more minor things 00:09:06.190 --> 00:09:09.450 such as feeling or of being treated inappropriately 00:09:09.450 --> 00:09:13.129 this one seems to be common uh being either physically 00:09:13.129 --> 00:09:17.889 or mentally unwell um being in pain or living 00:09:17.889 --> 00:09:20.450 with a serious illness can lead to even feeling 00:09:20.450 --> 00:09:23.350 angry and believe you me it took me a while to 00:09:23.350 --> 00:09:35.019 make this list So, let me think for a second. 00:09:35.340 --> 00:09:39.600 Even with all of that in that list, here's another 00:09:39.600 --> 00:09:41.899 question for you. Another something to think 00:09:41.899 --> 00:09:46.940 about. Can anger make you ill? Well, when we 00:09:46.940 --> 00:09:49.639 are angry, our bodies release the hormones, adrenaline, 00:09:49.779 --> 00:09:53.960 and what's the other one called? I think it's 00:09:53.960 --> 00:09:58.220 pronounced cortisol. The same hormones release 00:09:58.220 --> 00:10:01.480 when we encounter stress. And I will cover stress. 00:10:02.289 --> 00:10:05.870 Not today, but at another point. As a result 00:10:05.870 --> 00:10:07.990 of these releases in hormones, our blood pressure, 00:10:08.110 --> 00:10:10.509 pulse, body temperature, breathing rate may increase, 00:10:10.789 --> 00:10:14.610 sometimes to potentially dangerous levels, and 00:10:14.610 --> 00:10:17.470 it can make you very, very sick. The natural 00:10:17.470 --> 00:10:19.529 chemical reaction is designed to give us an instant 00:10:19.529 --> 00:10:21.830 boost of energy and power, and is often referred 00:10:21.830 --> 00:10:27.149 to as the fight -or -flight reaction. This means 00:10:27.149 --> 00:10:29.269 that the body and mind prepared for a fight, 00:10:29.350 --> 00:10:32.120 or for running away from danger. I don't know 00:10:32.120 --> 00:10:34.139 which one's more common because I've never been 00:10:34.139 --> 00:10:37.559 in either. So I guess it just depends on your 00:10:37.559 --> 00:10:40.360 situation. However, people who get angry often 00:10:40.360 --> 00:10:42.600 cannot manage their anger effectively and can 00:10:42.600 --> 00:10:45.759 become ill. Just as stress that is left unresolved 00:10:45.759 --> 00:10:48.899 will make you sick. Our bodies are not designed 00:10:48.899 --> 00:10:51.539 to withstand high levels of adrenaline and cortisol 00:10:51.539 --> 00:10:56.899 over long periods of time or on a regular basis. 00:10:57.220 --> 00:11:00.779 And if your body is, I... think you need to go 00:11:00.779 --> 00:11:04.419 see a doctor because that's not normal. And don't 00:11:04.419 --> 00:11:07.559 ask me what is normal. That's a debate all on 00:11:07.559 --> 00:11:10.539 its own. Some of the health problems that can 00:11:10.539 --> 00:11:13.480 and may occur as a result of being angry regularly 00:11:13.480 --> 00:11:17.100 or for an extended period can include the following. 00:11:17.240 --> 00:11:19.200 I have a short list here. I got this from my 00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:24.080 doctor. If you don't believe me, go look it up 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:28.639 yourself or ask your doctor. Anxin pains, usually 00:11:28.639 --> 00:11:31.179 in the back and head. High blood pressure, which 00:11:31.179 --> 00:11:33.659 can, in severe cases, lead to serious complaints 00:11:33.659 --> 00:11:37.220 such as stroke or cardiac arrest. This has happened. 00:11:38.860 --> 00:11:42.559 Sleep problems, like deprivation of sleep or 00:11:42.559 --> 00:11:45.759 excessive sleeping. Problems with digestion. 00:11:46.440 --> 00:11:49.879 Skin disorders, reduced thresholds for pain. 00:11:50.519 --> 00:11:52.899 Impaired immune system. That last one is actually 00:11:52.899 --> 00:11:56.059 a very big problem. And, you know, on that note, 00:11:56.139 --> 00:11:58.960 anger can also lead to psychological problems 00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:02.720 such as depression, reduced self -control, eating 00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:05.980 disorders, alcoholism, substance abuse, self 00:12:05.980 --> 00:12:08.100 -injury. I mean, it should be clear, therefore, 00:12:08.259 --> 00:12:10.440 that anger can be detrimental to your health. 00:12:10.600 --> 00:12:14.279 If anger is or becoming a problem, it should 00:12:14.279 --> 00:12:20.159 be managed, you know. And, you know, after having 00:12:20.159 --> 00:12:22.039 covered the question that my friend asked, what 00:12:22.039 --> 00:12:26.639 is anger? In this big of detail, for that matter, 00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:30.679 I'm going to go ahead and cover on my next podcast, 00:12:31.059 --> 00:12:34.299 how to manage your anger for the sake of those 00:12:34.299 --> 00:12:40.100 who don't know. Then I know I covered depression. 00:12:42.919 --> 00:12:46.960 I'm going to go back through my notes, see what 00:12:46.960 --> 00:12:48.860 I have covered. And if I haven't covered everything, 00:12:49.100 --> 00:12:52.179 I will revisit depression one more time. However, 00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:55.759 there is a topic I am going to cover next, aside 00:12:55.759 --> 00:12:58.279 from anger management, and that would be sleep. 00:12:59.279 --> 00:13:03.139 Okay? I know it's not a big topic and not a lot 00:13:03.139 --> 00:13:06.340 of people are interested in it, but wouldn't 00:13:06.340 --> 00:13:09.059 you at least want to be able to sleep more efficiently, 00:13:09.320 --> 00:13:12.980 more soundly, and get the optimal amount of rest 00:13:12.980 --> 00:13:17.059 you can, even in a small period of time? I would 00:13:17.059 --> 00:13:20.190 think that it's worth the... trip into that topic. 00:13:20.370 --> 00:13:23.190 So I'll go ahead and cover that after I cover 00:13:23.190 --> 00:13:27.269 anger management for those who have anger issues 00:13:27.269 --> 00:13:32.889 and are seeking for a way to resolve that. And 00:13:32.889 --> 00:13:36.759 as always, thank you for listening. You guys 00:13:36.759 --> 00:13:38.840 are great. I enjoy having you guys listen to 00:13:38.840 --> 00:13:41.539 my podcast and giving me all these really great 00:13:41.539 --> 00:13:45.240 suggestions on stuff to cover. From the essential 00:13:45.240 --> 00:13:47.980 skills, personal skills, so on and so forth. 00:13:48.340 --> 00:13:51.179 I mean, I may not be going in order with all 00:13:51.179 --> 00:13:52.879 these different things, but I'm going to go ahead 00:13:52.879 --> 00:13:55.299 and do my best to cover as many of them as I 00:13:55.299 --> 00:13:58.700 can. I'm not a guru in all this information. 00:13:59.000 --> 00:14:02.149 Remember, I'm only giving you what I know. As 00:14:02.149 --> 00:14:04.870 the questions are asked, I answer them. And this 00:14:04.870 --> 00:14:07.649 is the response that I give everybody when they 00:14:07.649 --> 00:14:10.049 listen to my podcast and they ask me, have you 00:14:10.049 --> 00:14:11.929 covered this topic yet? And if you have, which 00:14:11.929 --> 00:14:16.389 episode is it? Or if you're going to cover it, 00:14:16.409 --> 00:14:19.129 when so I know when to listen or at least to 00:14:19.129 --> 00:14:21.629 be looking out for it along with all my other 00:14:21.629 --> 00:14:25.990 podcasts. Because we covered so many topics in 00:14:25.990 --> 00:14:31.730 the last 62 episodes so far that. You know, I've 00:14:31.730 --> 00:14:35.149 been a little all over the place. I haven't really 00:14:35.149 --> 00:14:38.049 been self -contained within one specific topic 00:14:38.049 --> 00:14:41.429 since I covered relationships. And on that note, 00:14:41.590 --> 00:14:46.129 I did cover relationships to the point where 00:14:46.129 --> 00:14:49.570 you are dating the other person or intending 00:14:49.570 --> 00:14:53.340 to date someone. What I have not covered. It's 00:14:53.340 --> 00:14:55.740 what goes on beyond the relationship once you 00:14:55.740 --> 00:14:58.299 actually get together with the other person. 00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:00.580 And that I will be visiting a little bit later. 00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:03.279 Granted, the only reason I covered relationships 00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:08.820 was because of Valentine's. So just to be clear, 00:15:08.899 --> 00:15:12.500 I'm not done with that topic just yet. All right. 00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:17.100 So enjoy the rest of your day. And I'll talk 00:15:17.100 --> 00:15:20.299 to you guys later. Neogentrix out.