Welcome back to Food for Thought, Thoughts If
It Were You by Neogendrics. Now, in our last podcast,
we were talking about anger management and the
therapy behind it that people can use to help
them with their anger issues. I'm going to pick
up with that and we're going to keep going. If
you are in employment, then your employer may
offer counseling sessions either internally or
with a local approved counselor. Your psychotherapist
or counselor should be aware of any current historical
medical conditions, including mental health and
any addictions, so that the potential cause of
anger may be identified that the sessions are
tailored to complement any or other therapy that
you may or may be having. The aim of the anger
management counseling. Let me make this. straightforward
as I can is to help you recognize what makes
you angry triggers or catalysts for anger and
to get you to ask questions about yourself about
your anger such as what type of people or situations
make you angry what do you do when you're angry
and how does my anger affect other others around
me of course this question Should already have
been asked by this point, but if you still haven't
quite figured out how to ask yourself or even
if it's become obvious to you, this is the point
in which to do so. Okay? They're there to enable
you to learn specific skills, you know, to help
you manage triggers for anger effectively. They
help you identify times when your thoughts do
not lead to logical or rational conclusions.
Your counselor will work with you to change how
you think and react to certain situations. Okay?
And going back to the relaxation techniques,
they'll help teach you some of those to help
keep you calm and peaceful, even when you have
a surge of anger. Okay? And I'm not talking about
meditation, though that does help for some people.
Okay? So, to help you learn how to be assertive,
by being able to express yourself assertively,
you will feel more in control of situations.
And they teach you how to do that as well. If
you're not quite sure what that is or what that
means, go ahead and look for my podcast. If I
haven't already done it, I will do it on assertiveness,
okay? They're there to help you learn problem
solving techniques. for solving problems that
can also help make you feel empowered and reduce
the risk of triggering anger or frustration.
Problem solving is definitely a cool thing to
have. For those who don't know what it is or
how to do it, they will teach you how to do it.
Alright? Moving around along, furthermore, a
therapist may help you to see that anger and
calmness are not black and white emotions. As
with all emotions, there are various degrees
of anger, which we can be mildly irritated or
in a full -blown rage. If you're in a full -blown
rage at this point, logical reasoning is out
of the question. So, if you're trying to reason
with someone who's like that, I suggest you step
back. People who have been experiencing anger
for a long time may have lost the ability to
see that there are different levels of anger
and a professional will help you readdress this
imbalance and recognize the difference between,
for example, irritation and fury. And yes, there
is a difference. So, how do you know when you're
angry? There are often both physical and emotional
symptoms to anger, and by recognizing these,
we can more likely... I'm sorry. We are more
likely to be able to control them. When your
thoughts don't line up with what you want to
say. Possible physical signs of anger are...
I'm going to read a list here to you. You rub
your face frequently. Tightly clasp one hand
within the other or make clenched fists. Clenching
of the jaw or grinding teeth. Please don't do
that. It's really unpleasant and it damages your
teeth. Okay? shallow breathing lower breathlessness
increased heart rate perspiring sweaty palms
trembling or shaking lips or even your hands
it does happen uh rocking motion while sitting
that's actually really creepy uh pacing random
pacing yeah they're not the same thing You become
rude, you lose your sense of humor, you talk
loud. This is predominant in select races, I
will not say which ones. You develop cravings
for things that you think may relax you, such
as tobacco, sugar, alcohol, drugs, comfort food,
so on and so on. I'm going to be honest with
you, eating does not help get rid of the anger.
It just... irritate you more and for those who
are concerned about their weight it just makes
you fatter because your body's not going to be
able to process any of the foods you just ate
possible emotional symptoms of anger are a desire
to run away from the situation irritations feeling
sad or depressed feeling guilty or resentful
anxiety feeling anxious can manifest in many
different ways so keep that in mind A feeling
or desire to lash out verbally or even physically.
And you kind of want to avoid the second one,
if at all possible. So, how do you rate anger?
It is useful to be able to rate anger on some
sort of scale. And therapists usually use a scale
of 1 to 10. Now, low anger irritation may involve
some of the lesser symptoms listed above. However,
full -blown rage is likely to include more of
the severe symptoms. and being aware of which
symptoms occur when they appear makes it easier
to rate your anger on a scale of one to ten and
it makes also i'm sorry it may also make it easier
to recognize what anger is building and then
uh take some action to calm it down so anger
is not a jump from calm to fury there are different
levels and you know by being aware of these it
can be easier to remain in control to relax and
remain calm so we're gonna take a short break
and then we're gonna cover how to have an anger
plan as weird as that sounds um to resolve the
solution to resolve the situation with a good
possible solution it's monday i i have a hard
time talking sorry sorry about that um I had
to take a short break there. So, at the end of
that slight bit where you heard me say I'm sorry,
I'm actually talking to the guy helping me record
this. It's a new friend of mine. His name is
John. I asked him to join me in this podcast,
but for whatever reason, he doesn't like being
recorded. So, that aside, having an anger plan,
okay? Recognizing where your current anger level
is on a scale is important. It's the very first
step to understanding and dealing with your anger.
So, and it enables you to devise an anger plan.
Anger plans are unique and personal to the individual
with anger issues and often relate to specific
circumstances or people that have been seen to
cause anger. There are some generic components
to an anger plan and these may include the following.
So, this will help you get started. removing
yourself from the situation that triggers the
anger so that you have space to gather your thoughts
and calm down. On that note, changing the subject
of the conversation, sometimes particularly topics
of discussion, can include anger triggers, so
steering the conversation in another direction
can help minimize this. Of course, this also
requires that you have the skill to, you know,
converse with people and have the right kind
of social skills to do so. Also, slowing down,
counting to 10, or using some other strategy
to slow down the pace of the conversation can
sometimes help. Slowing down when you feel anger
rising can help you regain some logical thought
process, in which case this can also help you
rationalize your situation and therefore avoid
getting upset. I use this technique a lot, especially
with people that I know or with women that I
date, to keep me from getting upset with them.
As a result, don't get me wrong, the stuff that
they do, do irritate me. I mean, it's kind of
hard not to get irritated over simple stuff.
But, if you stop to think about it, before you
respond, and this is something that my dad taught
me, you can keep yourself from getting upset,
saying something stupid, or even, for some guys,
since they have a bad habit of doing this, raising
your hand towards your beloved mate. Okay? But
I know intentionally most guys don't intend to
hit their girls or women or girlfriend, wives,
what have you. But they end up doing it out of
spite or out of anger without thinking about
it. This in turn makes it so that the girl goes
crying for help and therefore they get in trouble
and or arrested. So, and then the last thing,
and I know I keep repeating this, I guess I should
probably cover it, but not right now. relaxation
techniques including the breathing exercises
i talked about last time and some visualizations
okay all right so to finalize what we're covering
for anger management the last thing i want you
to do This is the last thing that I'm going to
ask you to do. And this is something you should
do normally anyway. Keep an anger journal. By
keeping a record of when you become angry and
for whatever reasons, it can help you understand
your anger more comprehensively. Now, keeping
a journal can be a very powerful method of anger
management. The act of writing down the emotions
and feelings associated with anger before, during,
and after an anger episode can help focus the
mind. Re -reading an anger journal helps to identify
techniques for anger management that worked well
and also those that didn't work or help in various
circumstances. So, to summarize everything that
we've covered in the last two episodes and in
the episode that I covered anger in. Anger management
therapy is based around the belief that knowledge
is power. So, arming yourself with knowledge
about your anger, understanding it more fully
can give you the power to recognize and control
how you feel in any given circumstance. Now,
keep this in mind. This doesn't 100 % solve the
problem. This just helps you get started. That's
the whole point of my podcast. But, like I mentioned
before, this is stuff for you to think about
and consider. Now, you don't have to use any
of the information that I gave you. However,
when push comes to shove and you're backed into
a corner, you don't always have a choice as to
what you want to do. Sometimes you have to do
what you don't want to do or do what you have
to do to resolve the situation as fast and as
easy as possible so that everybody's comfortable
and happy to be around you and no one breaks
out in a fit of rage, anger, Pulsing and fists
flying. To the point where someone either gets
hurt. Killed or shot. Okay. So. That being said.
This is food for thought. Thoughts that fit where
you. With neogentrics. Always always consider
your actions. The way you do things. How you
do things. And how it affects the people around
you. Remember. We live in a world where we have
to coexist with the people around us. And it's
not all about you. If you can remember that.
and at least take in some of what I've covered
in the last four episodes about the different
topics that I covered, especially the last three
episodes, including this one, and that three
for anger, well then, you should be able to resolve
any personal problems that you have. With that
being said, I feel I should probably move into,
for those who don't have anger issues, Let's
cover aggression next and then how to recognize
aggression in other people. But with that, for
a later date, we'll cover that. So, again, thank
you for listening and enjoy the rest of your
day.