WEBVTT 00:00:11.660 --> 00:00:15.199 Hey everybody, good morning. Now, it is 3 .30 00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:18.940 in the morning, and in the last short podcast 00:00:18.940 --> 00:00:22.480 that I did, I covered a very brief, and I mean 00:00:22.480 --> 00:00:28.760 brief, overview of pregnancy and babies, I do 00:00:28.760 --> 00:00:31.500 believe. And I did say I was going to cover the 00:00:31.500 --> 00:00:34.520 top 10 tips for parenting survival skills. Now, 00:00:34.600 --> 00:00:36.899 keeping that in mind, there's a difference between 00:00:36.899 --> 00:00:41.979 this and mindful parenting. I will definitely 00:00:41.979 --> 00:00:45.320 go into that a little bit. Again, this is food 00:00:45.320 --> 00:00:47.600 for thought. Thoughts If It Were You by Neogentrix. 00:00:47.920 --> 00:00:50.520 Keep in mind, this is a gathering of everybody's 00:00:50.520 --> 00:00:52.539 information. And with this being said, these 00:00:52.539 --> 00:00:55.039 are just tips. You do not have to follow them. 00:00:55.100 --> 00:00:58.920 But if you have a guideline, it's a good place 00:00:58.920 --> 00:01:04.420 to start. Now, with that being said, one thing 00:01:04.420 --> 00:01:06.819 I want to keep in mind here with this is that... 00:01:07.340 --> 00:01:09.640 This is not my perspective. These are not my 00:01:09.640 --> 00:01:12.400 ideas This is what I've been taught if not have 00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:14.420 already read in books and otherwise and I've 00:01:14.420 --> 00:01:17.560 filtered out most of the best From the worst 00:01:17.560 --> 00:01:20.519 of good ideas using logical reasoning at least 00:01:20.519 --> 00:01:26.620 To your for most people's dismay that So for 00:01:26.620 --> 00:01:28.459 those who don't understand or can't tell the 00:01:28.459 --> 00:01:29.879 difference I'm gonna just go ahead and say that 00:01:29.879 --> 00:01:31.579 this is the best that I pulled out of most of 00:01:31.579 --> 00:01:33.280 the information that it was given To me and I 00:01:33.280 --> 00:01:36.719 found on my own and from what I've seen in other 00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:41.379 people's lives, okay? This is not the same as 00:01:41.379 --> 00:01:43.540 saying that I'm telling you to do this or other 00:01:43.540 --> 00:01:46.099 people told me to do this, okay? This is their 00:01:46.099 --> 00:01:48.719 personal opinion, some of them, but most of them 00:01:48.719 --> 00:01:51.299 is actual studies that have been proven true, 00:01:51.459 --> 00:01:53.420 okay? So we're gonna go ahead and move forward 00:01:53.420 --> 00:02:02.799 with this with skill number one right now. All 00:02:02.799 --> 00:02:08.659 right. Tip number one. Oh, before I give that, 00:02:08.800 --> 00:02:13.639 let's go ahead and cover this, okay? Like I said 00:02:13.639 --> 00:02:17.599 before, everything here is just to help you maintain 00:02:17.599 --> 00:02:20.699 your sanity and calm in the face of potential 00:02:20.699 --> 00:02:25.280 or actual child -induced chaos so that you don't 00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:26.979 go insane or end up in the psych ward or lose 00:02:26.979 --> 00:02:30.180 your baby to, well, I don't know, child protective 00:02:30.180 --> 00:02:33.599 services, okay? First, number one, everything 00:02:33.599 --> 00:02:36.300 is a phase and it will eventually pass. Yes, 00:02:36.560 --> 00:02:39.520 at the time, each problem may feel like it is 00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:42.159 lasting forever, but you will look back and wonder 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:44.439 why you were so worried about something so simple. 00:02:44.620 --> 00:02:47.659 Usually after about three months later, when 00:02:47.659 --> 00:02:49.699 you have moved on to the next phase, a problem 00:02:49.699 --> 00:02:53.680 being apparent is challenging, but also rewarding. 00:02:54.379 --> 00:02:56.780 Just try to keep calm and go with the flow, okay? 00:02:57.810 --> 00:03:00.610 Most phases don't really last too long, and you 00:03:00.610 --> 00:03:04.930 know you'll get over it eventually To your ways 00:03:04.930 --> 00:03:07.990 the right way Other people will always for some 00:03:07.990 --> 00:03:09.810 reason feel free to comment on your parenting 00:03:09.810 --> 00:03:12.310 and share their opinions on The grounds that 00:03:12.310 --> 00:03:15.430 all feedback is useful. This is good However, 00:03:15.610 --> 00:03:17.870 you can never have too many friends to give you 00:03:17.870 --> 00:03:20.409 their views The important thing to remember is 00:03:20.409 --> 00:03:23.270 that eventually you have to do what feels right 00:03:23.270 --> 00:03:25.930 for you You are the one who knows your child 00:03:25.930 --> 00:03:29.099 best My parents are prime examples of this, as 00:03:29.099 --> 00:03:31.379 no matter what other people told them about us, 00:03:31.560 --> 00:03:35.280 me and my younger brothers, they did what they 00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:37.319 knew was best for us because they knew us better 00:03:37.319 --> 00:03:39.159 than anyone else did. So when other people said 00:03:39.159 --> 00:03:41.620 we caused chaos and problems, parents knowing 00:03:41.620 --> 00:03:44.759 us as the more peaceful type of people, because 00:03:44.759 --> 00:03:46.719 me and my brothers were this way, we don't like 00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:49.159 making a lot of noise, we don't like being bothered, 00:03:49.360 --> 00:03:54.050 found it kind of odd, you know? This also means 00:03:54.050 --> 00:03:56.729 that you can and should ignore everyone else 00:03:56.729 --> 00:04:00.250 if you should ever so want to. Thank them for 00:04:00.250 --> 00:04:02.550 their feedback if you like, but don't feel bad 00:04:02.550 --> 00:04:06.189 about it because you didn't use it, okay? So 00:04:06.189 --> 00:04:07.889 with that being said, you can listen to the rest 00:04:07.889 --> 00:04:10.409 of this podcast or you can just disregard it. 00:04:10.449 --> 00:04:12.409 This is all up to you. Remember, I'm just giving 00:04:12.409 --> 00:04:14.389 you these tips. It's up to you to decide to use 00:04:14.389 --> 00:04:17.689 them. Three, it doesn't matter what the books 00:04:17.689 --> 00:04:20.550 or anyone else says. If a baby is hungry, he 00:04:20.550 --> 00:04:25.589 or she is hungry. It doesn't even matter if he 00:04:25.589 --> 00:04:27.470 or she only finished feeding five minutes ago. 00:04:27.569 --> 00:04:29.970 Some days are like that, and you just have to 00:04:29.970 --> 00:04:34.110 go with it. You may have to grit your teeth, 00:04:34.230 --> 00:04:37.430 as yet another older relative tells you that 00:04:37.430 --> 00:04:41.470 in their day, babies were fed every four hours 00:04:41.470 --> 00:04:45.850 and no sooner. Which, in reality, doesn't sound 00:04:45.850 --> 00:04:48.689 all that great. You will also learn that everyone 00:04:48.689 --> 00:04:51.610 is an expert. and will feel able to give you 00:04:51.610 --> 00:04:54.110 the benefit of their experience. This even applies, 00:04:54.370 --> 00:04:57.509 or possibly especially applies, to older people 00:04:57.509 --> 00:04:59.930 who have never even had children. Believe me, 00:05:00.009 --> 00:05:13.949 this will happen. Right, well, let's move on 00:05:13.949 --> 00:05:17.930 to number four. Sometimes good enough is all 00:05:17.930 --> 00:05:20.819 you can offer. And that's fine. You know, there 00:05:20.819 --> 00:05:22.639 are days when you will struggle to have the energy 00:05:22.639 --> 00:05:25.639 to respond to your children. You know, whether 00:05:25.639 --> 00:05:27.620 you have been awake half the night with a nil 00:05:27.620 --> 00:05:30.740 child or working very hard or not feeling well 00:05:30.740 --> 00:05:33.459 or just having an off day, some days you just 00:05:33.459 --> 00:05:36.959 don't have the energy or patience to be, oh, 00:05:37.060 --> 00:05:42.459 I don't know, super mom and super dad. On those 00:05:42.459 --> 00:05:45.319 days, switch on the television, feed them fish 00:05:45.319 --> 00:05:48.629 fingers, beans or... chips or something, or any 00:05:48.629 --> 00:05:51.149 other easy meal of choice, and they'll be fine 00:05:51.149 --> 00:05:56.269 and tomorrow is another day, okay? Um, Annabelle 00:05:56.269 --> 00:06:00.470 Crabb, the author of The Wife Drought, said that 00:06:00.470 --> 00:06:03.410 the obligation for working mothers is a very 00:06:03.410 --> 00:06:06.649 precise one. The feeling that one ought to work 00:06:06.649 --> 00:06:09.089 as if one did not have children while raising 00:06:09.089 --> 00:06:13.370 one's child as if one did not have a job. And 00:06:13.370 --> 00:06:15.470 I couldn't have worded it any better, to be honest. 00:06:17.599 --> 00:06:21.120 Number five would be a problem shared is a problem 00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:25.000 halved or at least improved Now the reason I 00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:27.879 picked this one is specifically for For that 00:06:27.879 --> 00:06:30.779 very reason that if you're able to share your 00:06:30.779 --> 00:06:32.420 problem other people it makes it a lot easier 00:06:32.420 --> 00:06:35.600 to deal with Okay, a good social group can be 00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:38.120 a lifeline as a parent. Okay, whether your friends 00:06:38.120 --> 00:06:42.399 are nearby or a Mumsnet or other social media 00:06:42.399 --> 00:06:44.399 something, you know, this is especially important 00:06:44.399 --> 00:06:47.199 if you are at home on your own with young children 00:06:47.199 --> 00:06:49.779 and do not have families to support a family 00:06:49.779 --> 00:06:52.779 supporting hand, you know, and keeping in mind, 00:06:52.779 --> 00:06:55.180 everyone has bad days and everyone needs support 00:06:55.180 --> 00:06:57.899 sometimes. So, you know, don't be afraid to share 00:06:57.899 --> 00:07:01.819 how bad your day was and, or has been. Not only 00:07:01.819 --> 00:07:04.100 will it make everyone else feel better, but it 00:07:04.100 --> 00:07:06.800 may encourage others to speak out about their 00:07:06.800 --> 00:07:09.100 struggles with parenting too. And that in turn 00:07:09.100 --> 00:07:10.759 will also help you deal with problems as you 00:07:10.759 --> 00:07:14.040 come across them. And with that being said, Personal 00:07:14.040 --> 00:07:17.480 privacy is a thing of the past. It's not so much 00:07:17.480 --> 00:07:19.800 that while you have small children, you will 00:07:19.800 --> 00:07:22.240 never be able to go to the toilet on your own, 00:07:22.519 --> 00:07:26.680 although this is true. It is more that you will 00:07:26.680 --> 00:07:28.800 have conversations with other adults about things 00:07:28.800 --> 00:07:32.860 that you would, before children, never have dreamed 00:07:32.860 --> 00:07:39.180 of even mentioning in company. 7. You don't see 00:07:39.180 --> 00:07:42.620 16 -year -olds wearing nappies. or having their 00:07:42.620 --> 00:07:46.519 food cut up for them. If they do, Lord help them. 00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:49.579 Unless they're disabled, then God bless their 00:07:49.579 --> 00:07:52.399 soul. It may seem as though your child is taking 00:07:52.399 --> 00:07:55.259 longer than any of their peers to potty train, 00:07:55.420 --> 00:07:57.759 eat solid food, learn to read, what have you, 00:07:57.779 --> 00:08:00.439 but children do things in their own time. He 00:08:00.439 --> 00:08:02.699 or she will almost certainly catch up eventually. 00:08:03.560 --> 00:08:06.519 No need to label them special needs. Warning, 00:08:06.620 --> 00:08:08.980 though. If you're worried that there may be more 00:08:08.980 --> 00:08:11.439 serious underlying problems, though, you know, 00:08:11.439 --> 00:08:13.939 talk to the doctor or another healthcare professional 00:08:13.939 --> 00:08:26.839 about it before acting, okay? Let's move on with 00:08:26.839 --> 00:08:30.160 number eight. Every child is different, so don't 00:08:30.160 --> 00:08:33.279 compare them to other people, okay? I don't know 00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:35.889 if this is... ringing a bell to anybody or if 00:08:35.889 --> 00:08:37.710 they've ever thought about this, but I definitely 00:08:37.710 --> 00:08:40.090 have to make a point of it. You will know this 00:08:40.090 --> 00:08:42.090 yourself already if you've had more than one 00:08:42.090 --> 00:08:45.049 child, especially, but the temptation to compare 00:08:45.049 --> 00:08:47.570 is almost overwhelming with your own children, 00:08:47.649 --> 00:08:50.649 with your friend's children, and others at school. 00:08:51.429 --> 00:08:55.750 Don't do it, okay? This is one of those few things 00:08:55.750 --> 00:08:58.389 you can't ignore and choose not to do, okay? 00:08:58.590 --> 00:09:02.480 Keeping up with the Joneses in that aspect. will 00:09:02.480 --> 00:09:04.600 actually end up hurting your child, not helping 00:09:04.600 --> 00:09:07.419 them. Okay? Every child is an individual and 00:09:07.419 --> 00:09:09.840 has their own strengths and weaknesses. Concentrate 00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:14.740 on developing a happy, rounded, well, okay, rounded 00:09:14.740 --> 00:09:17.259 little person, and don't worry about what everyone 00:09:17.259 --> 00:09:19.779 else is doing at that age. And when I say rounded, 00:09:19.820 --> 00:09:22.779 I mean well -rounded being, not a well -rounded 00:09:22.779 --> 00:09:26.340 belly. Okay? It's two different things. I'm just 00:09:26.340 --> 00:09:28.100 going to go ahead and cover that right now. And 00:09:28.100 --> 00:09:29.779 the reason I bring this up is because even though 00:09:29.779 --> 00:09:33.279 I have two younger siblings, We are nothing alike. 00:09:34.340 --> 00:09:37.539 If anything, we're not even opposites. In which 00:09:37.539 --> 00:09:40.600 case, this makes it nearly impossible for us 00:09:40.600 --> 00:09:42.899 to even be compared to other people because the 00:09:42.899 --> 00:09:46.139 way we do things is completely... How do I put 00:09:46.139 --> 00:09:51.860 it? Special. In layman's terms. It would take 00:09:51.860 --> 00:09:54.620 too long to explain it in words. Number nine. 00:09:55.340 --> 00:09:57.419 There's a reason behind all behavioral issues, 00:09:57.500 --> 00:09:59.919 though it may take you a while to identify what 00:09:59.919 --> 00:10:03.350 the heck it is. the issue may not may also not 00:10:03.350 --> 00:10:06.889 be at all to do with the child concerned even 00:10:06.889 --> 00:10:09.610 though it may seem that it may be that way at 00:10:09.610 --> 00:10:14.309 first okay children often act as emotional barometers 00:10:14.309 --> 00:10:17.110 for their family acting out tension sometimes 00:10:17.110 --> 00:10:20.629 a behavioral issue is intractable because conscientiously 00:10:20.629 --> 00:10:23.669 or subconsciously is easier for everyone if it 00:10:23.669 --> 00:10:26.649 remains unaddressed sometimes you may need to 00:10:26.649 --> 00:10:28.850 look hard at yourself and your family as a whole 00:10:28.850 --> 00:10:31.370 and confront some difficult issues for for all 00:10:31.370 --> 00:10:35.090 of you you know if you are to resolve one's child's 00:10:35.090 --> 00:10:37.789 behavior in other words he can he or she could 00:10:37.789 --> 00:10:39.330 be acting that way because of people in your 00:10:39.330 --> 00:10:41.710 family people you hang around basically your 00:10:41.710 --> 00:10:45.090 environment last but not least number 10 you 00:10:45.090 --> 00:10:47.090 are the best parent for your child because you 00:10:47.090 --> 00:10:49.970 are their parent do not lend your child to someone 00:10:49.970 --> 00:10:53.269 else okay doesn't help you will never know anyone 00:10:53.269 --> 00:10:56.210 any other love like the love you feel for your 00:10:56.210 --> 00:10:58.490 children, okay? It's such a strong feeling that 00:10:58.490 --> 00:11:02.450 it can almost be overwhelming. I'm sorry. Hold 00:11:02.450 --> 00:11:04.850 the thought that whatever else happens, you are 00:11:04.850 --> 00:11:07.389 the best possible parent for your child. No one 00:11:07.389 --> 00:11:09.950 else can do it better than you. Reason is, you 00:11:09.950 --> 00:11:13.610 birthed that child, okay? Only you will know 00:11:13.610 --> 00:11:15.669 when something's wrong or when something needs 00:11:15.669 --> 00:11:18.110 to be corrected. And with that, that brings an 00:11:18.110 --> 00:11:22.110 end to this list. Next time, I will be covering 00:11:22.110 --> 00:11:26.330 sleep, like I promised. And don't worry, I'll 00:11:26.330 --> 00:11:28.950 come back to the parenting issues at a later 00:11:28.950 --> 00:11:30.590 date, and I'll talk about what the difference 00:11:30.590 --> 00:11:33.570 is between parenting boys and parenting girls. 00:11:34.610 --> 00:11:36.690 Enjoy the rest of your day, and thank you for 00:11:36.690 --> 00:11:39.289 listening. This is Neogentrics out.