1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,040
I'd be curious to know what it is about certain moments that seem ordinary at the time but

2
00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:11,320
somehow end up staying with you forever.

3
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:17,500
You'll find yourself going about your daily activities when suddenly you hear someone's

4
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:23,160
voice in your head, a memory of an interaction that you didn't realize at the time would

5
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,160
stick in this way.

6
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,520
I've had so many of those.

7
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,520
I really should start writing them down as they come up.

8
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,360
I guess this one is actually significant though.

9
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:37,280
I don't know why I started so dramatically with that opening.

10
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:42,640
Sometimes it seems like a minor little thing, though I feel it's probably deeply rooted

11
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:46,320
if we're to have it with us until the end of our time.

12
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:52,320
Last night, when I was settling in, I remembered a time, five or so years ago, when I had an

13
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:58,040
interaction with a sweet little lady who I had been caring for in the hospital.

14
00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:04,480
I'm someone who loves to get insight and knowledge from the wise old owls that I meet.

15
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:10,480
Surprisingly, I actually do learn lessons and learn through the experience of others.

16
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:16,080
It explains why I spent so much of my interactions with people I found interesting asking them

17
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,160
at length about their lives.

18
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:22,680
I could write a book about the insights I've collected over the years.

19
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,360
Hmm, let's pin that for later.

20
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:31,720
She was in the ER for a few days for some complications that had occurred unexpectedly.

21
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:36,200
I was her nurse a few days in a row, which was a nice treat.

22
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,320
Sometimes the continued patient care isn't a bad thing.

23
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:45,000
ER was always nice for a variety and not needing to feel stuck with difficult situations or

24
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,440
patients, but there were times where I would be happy to see familiar faces.

25
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:54,320
Usually it was a result of our health care system not having the proper resources to

26
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:58,240
relocate them where they should be, but I tried to make the most of it.

27
00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:02,280
It also helped to have previous knowledge of their case, so it didn't expend as much

28
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,640
energy coming on to shift.

29
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,840
Some of the details are fuzzy now.

30
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,080
I recall she had an interesting story about her life.

31
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:14,840
She'd been a hard worker for years, holding a job for her entire adult life when back

32
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:20,680
in her youth it was a time when men dominated the field or the workforce in general, inspiring

33
00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:22,320
to say the least.

34
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:27,040
At the time of our interaction, she had been retired for quite a while, but it wasn't

35
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:30,960
long enough that she forgot the transition point in her life.

36
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:35,880
She was one of those who dabbled part time, at first unable to fully let go.

37
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:36,880
You know the type.

38
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:41,720
I remember asking her what it was like to retire after that many years of work.

39
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,560
At that point, I would always push away thoughts of retirement from my mind.

40
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:51,360
It seemed like some privilege that I was nowhere near and that I would struggle to get to.

41
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:55,680
This was probably around the time of my first experience with burnout.

42
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,600
I think it was before the pandemic, or just shortly so.

43
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:05,160
I remember the sound of her voice and how clear it sounded when she said, I didn't

44
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:09,360
realize just how burned out I had been for so many years.

45
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,560
It took a long time for me to recover.

46
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:17,600
She told me it took at least a year after she stepped away from the working world completely

47
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,300
before she felt she could finally breathe.

48
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:25,720
She talked at length about exhaustion that she had never realized existed within her

49
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:30,940
and how she needed a lot of time to rest before she could really settle into what would make

50
00:03:30,940 --> 00:03:33,620
her feel good about her golden years.

51
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:36,600
She elaborated more as I was curious.

52
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:41,480
My own situation was worsening at this time and I needed to know that there was hope that

53
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,400
there could be some light at the end of the tunnel.

54
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:50,080
From what I remember, it was a lot of gentleness, allowing for sleep when she required it and

55
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,380
just resting.

56
00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:56,240
What stuck with me was how she said it, her tone, that she was surprised to see how long

57
00:03:56,240 --> 00:04:02,040
it took for her to recover from the fatigue that had taken years to set in and take over,

58
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:06,800
but she hadn't even recognized how bad it had been until she was able to step away,

59
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,960
allowing it to fully take over.

60
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:13,920
This memory appeared to me last evening as I asked myself, man, when's the last time

61
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,080
I worked?

62
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,480
September 6th.

63
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:21,760
As I record this, January 16th, it marks four months and some days.

64
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,840
Four months.

65
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:25,520
In terms of life, what does that look like?

66
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,360
It's more time than kids get between school years and the summer.

67
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:34,800
It's more weeks in a row than anyone can ever accumulate as vacation time at any job,

68
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,520
not accounting for self-employed or business owners.

69
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,240
19 weeks to date.

70
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,080
That's half a pregnancy.

71
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:45,400
I curse the fact that time is an arbitrary concept to me.

72
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,440
It's either now or not now.

73
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:52,120
It's not a tangible thing that I comprehend due to the inner workings of my brain.

74
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:57,680
This means I often need to focus inward on what this means in terms of my life, comparatively

75
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,040
to other things.

76
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,760
So many thoughts swirl through my mind here.

77
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,760
Now.

78
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:06,920
I think about how I didn't work as long as she did to get to this level of burnout in

79
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:12,080
my own life, how it struck me significantly, and she didn't even notice the full extent

80
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,040
until she left completely.

81
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,040
This isn't healthy.

82
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:18,480
It's comparison, and we are not the same two people.

83
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:21,520
There are many differences there, and we were not built the same.

84
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:26,920
To overcome so many generational changes and see what she's seen, that's the resilience

85
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,360
of a different nature.

86
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:33,960
Like a massive sequoia tree who has withstood the test of time, great winds, and the expansion

87
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,840
of humanity at a rapid pace.

88
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:39,240
There's no use negating myself and my experience.

89
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:42,600
After all, you can't compare an apple to an orange as they say.

90
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,560
They're simply not the same fruit.

91
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,560
Both of our experiences are valid and real.

92
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:52,840
I think about how I still feel the tiredness in my soul, despite having the number of days

93
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:53,840
that have passed.

94
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:59,000
That seemed to be a lot, maybe not in terms of a lifespan, but of one year, a fourth of

95
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,200
the year, 25%.

96
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,920
That's a long time not to work.

97
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,320
At least, that's what society says.

98
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,920
Then I tell myself, you know, all that time was not spent resting.

99
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,400
A lot has happened in those four months.

100
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,240
I learned so much simply having gone on the road.

101
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,700
That was seven of those 19 weeks.

102
00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:20,920
Just under half, really, that was a lot and took a toll in its own way.

103
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,160
I have absolutely no regrets though.

104
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,720
Everything happens as it should in its own time.

105
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:30,560
I ask myself what I always ask myself when I do these updates.

106
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:31,880
How are you?

107
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:33,560
How does it feel?

108
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,440
How is the burnout doing?

109
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,080
I am okay, in a sense, anyways.

110
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:44,320
I'm coming to terms with the fact I'm a heavy feeler and my experience in life will forever

111
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:49,200
be rocked by the intensity of the waves of emotions I experience.

112
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:53,680
Not always a bad thing if you want to feel the good emotions so strongly, you're going

113
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,640
to need to accept the other side of the coin as well.

114
00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:01,640
I think this is something I'm coming to terms with more so than I ever have.

115
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,480
Sometimes I still feel on pause in limbo.

116
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,920
I remind myself this isn't that it's life.

117
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,360
It's always currently life.

118
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:13,360
I am living in this moment on this day.

119
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,960
This is what life looks like.

120
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,840
This is what it feels like.

121
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:22,560
It doesn't need to be this dramatic thing with flashy lights and sparkles all the time.

122
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,440
Time is not wasted.

123
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:28,480
Moments are not wasted if I am not constantly exposed to new things.

124
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:33,880
In fact, that's probably what should be avoided if I'm aiming for a healthier balanced life.

125
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,640
So this quiet life, this phase I'm in, it's loud.

126
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,880
Right now, it can be pretty loud.

127
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:44,440
There's some reverting back to needing noise in the background to help keep me afloat.

128
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,040
Not always, but more than before.

129
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:51,480
Eventually, I anticipate adding a bit more excitement and variety into it, but I need

130
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:57,000
to do it when I feel ready, when I can fully trust that it's where me and myself are at.

131
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:02,400
We're in a new territory, feeling it out, seeing how we want to proceed, cautious.

132
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:07,320
Doing new things is scary when it's not familiar, even if it's a normal healthy thing.

133
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:12,720
For those who come from dramatically patterned pasts, that safety and quiet is scary.

134
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:16,160
I am still learning, still navigating this.

135
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,640
Constant reminders that I'm safe, that I'm okay.

136
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:24,240
The word exhausting whispers around these words as I put them down here today.

137
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:28,800
Sometimes I think, gosh, it's been four months, how long will this take?

138
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,520
Then I remember that patient and her words.

139
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,880
It took her a long time, a lot longer than she realized.

140
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,560
I can take a breath here, it's okay.

141
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,320
This is what it is, it might take a while.

142
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,240
It's certainly improved, better in some ways.

143
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:48,480
I notice when I get caught up and stressed, it hits me like a ton of bricks, all at once,

144
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,800
rather than a slow mounting pressure.

145
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,440
The signs, the signals, they're stronger.

146
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:58,440
I am learning and have learned to listen to myself in ways I would often ignore before.

147
00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:03,280
My old thinking is still present, it takes a long time to shake and build new patterns,

148
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:07,600
but I'm here doing exactly that, gentle reminders daily.

149
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,760
You know what's nice to realize though?

150
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:14,080
I did it, I didn't die, the world didn't end.

151
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,880
I remember before, having this knowing that I needed to get out of the environment I was

152
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,280
in, that space, that place.

153
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:26,840
I felt such a strong hold though, like a prisoner, but there was no bars or handcuffs.

154
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:32,440
Only those that were self-imposed, a side effect of the constant whispers of expectations

155
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:37,680
that I was to try to meet, that my body and spirit fought against on a regular basis.

156
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,280
No, it would say.

157
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:46,560
This isn't it, this isn't right, this isn't for you, this isn't of you, this isn't you.

158
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:51,560
I remember all the things I'd heard, the words of strangers in my story that kept me

159
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:57,600
rooted, all things we've heard either directed at ourselves, or as we witnessed it be directed

160
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:01,960
towards others, instilling its messages into us by proxy.

161
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,560
That of shame.

162
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:08,880
Now I hear my friends, when they speak their struggle, how they can't leave because of

163
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,760
reason X, Y, Z.

164
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:17,840
All sound logical reasons when put onto paper, yet illogical when you think of how it's

165
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:23,000
you ignoring your true nature, shoving your inner knowing back into the closet, and trying

166
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:28,200
to soundproof the space so that the calls that are getting louder, stronger, are easier

167
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,360
to continue to ignore.

168
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,760
I was there, I remember, but I did it.

169
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:38,160
I left, I walked away, and nothing happened.

170
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,240
I didn't die, the world didn't end.

171
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:45,600
This causes a smile to cross my lips as I whisper to myself.

172
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,240
I did it.

173
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:54,200
This freeing of myself, it opened a door, a new perspective, a new understanding, an awakening.

174
00:10:54,200 --> 00:11:01,480
I can look back now and see just how most of my concerns, my worries, anxieties, problems,

175
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,480
they were self-made.

176
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:08,600
I mean, yeah, they were heavily infused by society, by the culture, others around me,

177
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,800
but I didn't owe anything to anyone.

178
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,400
No one owned me, I just let them.

179
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:17,240
I believed that they did, and so I behaved that way.

180
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:22,920
Now I look at the struggles of others, realizing I can't help them know, but hurting in my

181
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:28,080
heart because it's so easy to see once you've opened your eyes.

182
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:33,880
All of the things I had spent so much time worrying about, fighting against, accumulated

183
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:40,020
to a moot point, it's maybe why I struggle now to provide empathy to people who are not

184
00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:41,280
ready to change.

185
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:45,240
I try to be gentle, but I see with a lot more clarity now.

186
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:47,240
I've been there, done that.

187
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,240
I'm so glad that I did.

188
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,840
The biggest hurdle to jump was the key to freedom.

189
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:58,160
The doing, and then it was all just open space to exist within.

190
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:04,040
The cage you stand in, the one you're trapped in, have you even tried to open the door,

191
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,640
or are you just assuming it's locked?

192
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:07,840
Because it's not locked.

193
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,080
It never was.

194
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:15,200
The entire time, the door has been closed, yeah, but you can open it.

195
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,880
The burnout still resides within, to some degree.

196
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,320
The more freedom I find, the more it lessens.

197
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:26,640
It's a slow pace, sure, but there's progress.

198
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:30,600
Some days, I find myself asking, how am I so tired?

199
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,440
I'm not even doing anything these days.

200
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,640
And then I think back to my patient.

201
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:39,280
How it took so long to build up to this level of burnout.

202
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,600
It can't be that easy to erase and break free of.

203
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,320
As with anything, it takes time.

204
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:50,040
It took time to get here, so it will take time to return to myself.

205
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:53,320
I'm in sort of a cocoon phase at the moment.

206
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,920
A lot is going on while nothing is happening.

207
00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,760
It's a quiet existence, but necessary.

208
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:05,840
Sometimes I get lonely, probably more than I care to admit, but I still find it difficult

209
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:10,040
to intentionally and purposely interact.

210
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:15,080
Non-purposeful interactions, small talk, unopened messages containing mindless memes

211
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,400
I'm still not able to deal with.

212
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,720
Nor do I want to.

213
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:22,000
I try to keep my time and my presence intentional.

214
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:26,400
I don't doom scroll or play as many phone games as I used to.

215
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,400
It just seems too exhausting.

216
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:34,160
Funny, hey, something I used to use as an escape is now too tiring for the mind?

217
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:35,740
It's like there's a knowing.

218
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:36,740
This is mindless.

219
00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:38,240
It's not helpful.

220
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,920
It's a waste of time.

221
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,420
Time is precious.

222
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:46,240
When I go interact with strangers in the world, I find myself pleasantly surprised to leave

223
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,440
with a smile, community and interaction.

224
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,760
It's important, but I still keep these limited.

225
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:57,000
Sometimes it's the wrong type, surrounded by people catching up, gossiping about the

226
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,160
lives and on-going of others.

227
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,160
Yuck.

228
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,600
Not what I want to fill my surroundings with.

229
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,120
That doesn't belong in my soul and body.

230
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,760
It's not mine to hold.

231
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:10,520
I still find myself happy to retreat to my quiet space.

232
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:15,400
I do recognize that some point soon I will need to re-emerge.

233
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,240
Slowly slowly, not all at once.

234
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,160
Maybe I'll get a job.

235
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,160
Volunteer.

236
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,160
Join a group.

237
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:27,080
My partner's mom and I recently started painting at a ceramics class, which we'll be doing

238
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:32,520
weekly for a few weeks to try it out, to see if it can fit into routine, into a healthy

239
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:33,520
way.

240
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:38,040
It was fun, focused, different though, but it's good to try new things once in a while

241
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,400
and see if it fits.

242
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,240
That's currently where I'm at.

243
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:47,000
I truly believe that for the most part, my days at the bedside are over.

244
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:52,040
I still find that it feels bad in my body when I contemplate a job that involves me

245
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,480
providing such close, intimate care to others.

246
00:14:55,480 --> 00:15:00,080
Not in the physical sense, but mentally, spiritually, and empathetically.

247
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,360
I've been painting.

248
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,880
I've been reading.

249
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,680
I've been slowly learning to trust myself.

250
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,280
My needs and my intuition.

251
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:09,920
It's not easy work.

252
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:14,880
I want to write past journaling, but I haven't yet built up the courage to do so.

253
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,680
I feel like there's a dam.

254
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,320
It's full, threatening to overflow.

255
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,240
That once I begin, I won't be able to stop.

256
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:27,320
A rush of pent-up energy will sweep me away, and I don't trust that I will resurface for

257
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,560
a time.

258
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:32,240
This is territory I will enter with extreme caution.

259
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,640
Sometimes, I just need to remind myself to be gentle.

260
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,040
There is no deadline.

261
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,680
No timeline that is looming over me.

262
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:43,000
Over any of us, we can take the time we need.

263
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,880
In fact, we must.

264
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:50,560
I've got to live another complete lifetime, and some, before my time is up on this earth,

265
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:54,160
assuming nature takes its course and nothing happens in between.

266
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,600
That means I need to be all good with myself.

267
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:57,600
You know?

268
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,920
It's the only way to make it through this.

269
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,520
We got this, friends.

270
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:05,960
Just keep trying to do the thing that your heart calls out to you, no matter how hard

271
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,480
it may seem.

272
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,840
It gets better.

273
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:09,680
It really does.