1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,200
This is a really special episode to me because it marks the first time in my

2
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:11,440
podcast journey where I am able to answer a listener question that was sent to me

3
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:17,520
via Instagram. I hadn't thought about any other aspects other than creating. I am

4
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:21,480
really touched that there are people who want me to share some insights on

5
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:27,280
specific topics in hopes of maybe feeling heard, validated, understood, and to get

6
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:32,560
my take on things. I am taking this time to let you guys know you can reach out

7
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:37,360
anytime with questions and I'm going to start adding these special episodes

8
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:43,240
should it become a regular thing. The question I received is this. Do you deal

9
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:49,440
with anxiety? Because I do very severely and as a result I'm too scared to do

10
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:54,000
anything or deal with anything that comes up. For me it makes me feel like

11
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:58,160
everything is closing in on me where I can hear my heart pounding into my head

12
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:04,080
and I slowly recognize this as I start to black out. I feel as though I can't

13
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:10,080
breathe. I end up overthinking every single thing. I know I need to seek

14
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:15,480
therapy but it's hard for me to get to that point. I acknowledge it's not the

15
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:20,720
right way to go about it. I know I'm not being as proactive about this as I could

16
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:27,200
be or as I should be. I'm just curious to know how do people deal with this? I want

17
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:32,840
to start out by saying thank you so much for reaching out to me, for opening up

18
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:37,920
and sharing this with me. I know it's hard to speak our truth sometimes,

19
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:43,520
especially when it's painful and brings up feelings of shame. Why am I not

20
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:48,480
functioning like the others? How come I have this feeling that keeps me where I

21
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:54,680
am, standing still, unable to move forward? Recognizing there is an issue is

22
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:59,760
always the first step and then recognizing how it's impacting your life is

23
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:05,840
yet another huge step. I am so proud of you for acknowledging these things, for

24
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:11,480
reaching out to me. I'm honored but I also recognize that it's hard to do. It's

25
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:17,120
such a vulnerable thing so just know I'm holding space for you. I'm proud of you

26
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:23,120
and I absolutely admire you. Thank you for being here. Those feelings you have

27
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:29,120
are so real, so debilitating. It's an actual thing you're dealing with, even

28
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:35,200
if it's not seen by others or even by yourself. If there is something preventing

29
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:40,160
you from achieving your goals, working towards your happiness, it is absolutely

30
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:46,360
real. It is absolutely worth exploring. So let's get started. The question was

31
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:51,680
asking if I deal with anxiety and this person wanted to know how people in

32
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:58,760
general deal with their anxiety. 2021 was the year I reached my initial breaking

33
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:04,680
point where I sought help. It was a very tough time for me and a lot of it was

34
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:10,400
surrounding the unsettling feeling that the pandemic was just never ending. It

35
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:15,760
exacerbated all aspects of my life of myself that I had been neglecting far

36
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:20,880
too long, creating the perfect storm, and swept everything into its chaos as it

37
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:26,000
passed through. By the time I sought help, I was absolutely non-functional. I

38
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:30,960
couldn't go anywhere or do anything without absolute panic setting in. It

39
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:35,480
was horrible. It got to the point where I would work a shift with a good friend and

40
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:40,760
end up driving home sobbing, unable to breathe, because I thought, she hates me.

41
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:45,800
She fucking hates me and I know it. Why does everybody hate me? What's wrong with

42
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:50,120
me? I would read between lines that weren't there because that was what I

43
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:56,000
wanted to see. Now I'm in a different space and I think the reality was I was

44
00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:01,600
judging myself and my inability to cope, inability to handle life, work, and to

45
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:07,440
complete tasks as required. I couldn't do the basic anymore so I assumed everybody

46
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:12,360
could see inside of me, see the wreck of a human that I had become, mistake my

47
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:17,600
dysfunction as lazy, incompetent, all the horrible things I feared to be perceived

48
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:22,920
as. Then I would project it onto others while using them as mirrors to project

49
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:28,760
it back onto myself. It wasn't reality but it felt horribly real and it was real

50
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:34,440
to me. I would always enter scenarios preparing for the worst. I would think

51
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:39,240
about every outcome that was possible and find a way to have an exit plan for

52
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:44,360
each possibility. Sometimes it wasn't feasible to escape and I would just

53
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:49,120
constantly repeat the thoughts and the beliefs to myself. I found that once I

54
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:55,080
started festering in those emotions it got worse. I was perpetuating it, unable

55
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:59,840
to get out of my head. One thought fed into the other until I was a wreck. I

56
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:04,840
couldn't breathe. I was paralyzed. Usually it involved interactions with

57
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:08,920
others. It was a time before I ended things with a long-term partner and

58
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:13,680
anytime I thought of coming home from work I imagined he would be there, mad at

59
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,920
me, that I'd come home to repeated demands for attention, that if I didn't

60
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:22,400
he would be mad and we'd fight. I hadn't even left the hospital parking lot yet

61
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:27,520
and I was setting my arrival home up for failure. Then I'd get home. I was

62
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:32,560
anxious, avoiding eye contact, avoiding conversation. Of course this would

63
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:37,720
absolutely start a fight and so my worst fears would come alive. I'm going to

64
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:42,160
skip ahead to what the anxiety looks like and feels like now before diving a

65
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:47,520
bit deeper. Anxiety now starts with my breath catching in my throat. Breathing

66
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:51,920
becomes more shallow and it feels like I can't expand my lungs enough to get the

67
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:56,880
oxygen I need. It's almost as though I can feel the fight or flight response as

68
00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:02,000
it starts. Pupils dilating, heart rate picks up, starts racing. I get the jitters.

69
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:06,680
If you can believe it, it's almost as though I can feel every molecule in my

70
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:11,880
body vibrating at such a fast frequency. Prepping for a sprint, a quick takeoff.

71
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:18,480
It's very unsettling. Think ants in your pants unsettling. I can't sit still. I

72
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:24,080
need to move. Do something. Get air. Go somewhere else. Change scenery. What would

73
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:29,120
usually follow is racing thoughts. I don't hear voices but I imagine it's as

74
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:33,600
though voices are talking to me inside my head but it's really just jumbled

75
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:38,480
thoughts racing a mile a minute about whatever topic has upset me. Usually

76
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,520
it's something I've picked up on in environments. Somebody's body language

77
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,800
has indicated a shift in their mood, their behavior. Something is upsetting

78
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,920
someone and they arrive to the interaction with this previously existing

79
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:56,800
emotional turmoil that I out of habit perceive as something that I did. Then I

80
00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:02,600
rack my brain. I overthink every little thing I said or did in the last day, the

81
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:07,800
last week that could possibly have upset this person. I ask are you okay and

82
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:13,880
should they answer that they are fine? I do not believe them. I cannot. Their

83
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:19,080
actions do not match their statements. I do not trust that this is not going to

84
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:25,560
hurt me. This, this all stems from messages from my childhood. I also feel a

85
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:31,320
lot of hmm I'm not sure if the word is anxiety. Fear maybe? There are also

86
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:36,440
messages from how I was raised. Growing up in this environment had me develop

87
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:40,960
these sorts of thought patterns. I really limited myself in my life as a result

88
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:45,760
of this. Even now I struggle to participate in certain activities because I

89
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:51,040
will literally think to myself, oh man what if I die? What if I break something

90
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:57,080
or get seriously injured? It also doesn't help that as an ER nurse I have seen most

91
00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:03,000
situations end up badly and just how badly they could be. Growing up hearing

92
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:07,080
how you should think about the world in this way had led me to seeing and

93
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:12,400
thinking the world in this exact way. It makes sense. We do as we're taught.

94
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:19,000
Monkey see, monkey do. As is the root of all of our successes. Our failures, our

95
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:24,920
issues. When my behavior became so severe I was crying in the workplace,

96
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:29,640
breaking down in front of colleagues and patients, and driving home unsafely

97
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:35,200
every single day. Crying so hard I couldn't breathe or see. I called a

98
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:41,000
crisis helpline. I also reached out to a psychologist and self-referred to get

99
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:46,360
psychiatric testing. I knew I would not be able to work or function. Never mind

100
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:51,160
get enjoyment out of life if I did not find out what the fuck was wrong with

101
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:56,360
me. It didn't take long to get into these services and I accessed them together

102
00:08:56,360 --> 00:09:02,520
at the same time. I remember telling the psychologist I needed to get checked for

103
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:07,840
something because there was no way I was normal. This wasn't a life worth living

104
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:12,960
if I couldn't function. I told him I think I have a severe case of general

105
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:18,560
anxiety disorder or maybe it's PTSD. I needed to know what I had to do. I was

106
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:23,920
willing to take medications. Anything just to get out of this mode. It took some

107
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:28,920
time. We did the testing. The results came back as a class of case of a tension

108
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:35,920
deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD. Relieved but also confused. I believed I

109
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:41,320
had severe anxiety. Where was that diagnosis? It was explained to me that

110
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:45,880
years and years of masking had led to a point where I could no longer over

111
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:51,080
compensate to meet my role within the demands of society. The techniques I had

112
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:56,280
used to adapt to stay afloat were no longer cutting it. As a result I was

113
00:09:56,280 --> 00:10:01,360
expressing signs and symptoms of anxiety but in reality it was the mismanagement

114
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:06,400
or the fact that I had ADHD that wasn't being managed at all and that had caused

115
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:11,680
these symptoms to appear. While it does resemble anxiety and of course is

116
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:18,160
described by me as such, I found that in managing the ADHD or at least for a time

117
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:23,440
the symptoms became less severe and I had moments of remission from it. I only

118
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:28,520
say this because it differs from true anxiety diagnoses which is a condition

119
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:33,320
that is real and exists and is not easily resolved by something such as

120
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:38,640
managing the other labels in your life if you've been assigned ADHD. I am

121
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:43,000
certainly not an expert but I can say that I relate to some of those feelings

122
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:47,960
and understand how debilitating it feels, how it takes hold of you threatening

123
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:52,840
to never let go. I relate but I have also figured out what makes me tick, what

124
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:56,920
caused me to get there, and how to find ways to manage the underlying concerns

125
00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:02,560
that exacerbate it. If I'm to reflect on anxiety I think it's good to note that

126
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:07,160
when we meet others or interact with others we need to be aware that we all

127
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:12,680
face some form of it but sometimes some people experience it worse. I've met a

128
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:17,960
lot of people who came across as standoffish or rude when the reality was

129
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:22,840
they were battling crippling anxiety and panic, a fear to say the wrong thing,

130
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:27,240
overthinking everything, thinking they were unliked, were doing something wrong,

131
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:31,280
whatever it might be, and then choosing to remain silent because of the

132
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:35,520
inability to communicate or to get out of that headspace. I was of course

133
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:40,200
privileged to learn of this perspective because it helped me grow and try not to

134
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:44,440
exert judgment on others because of how they are portraying themselves. It's

135
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:49,200
very often unintentional and there's way more than meets the eye here. I've even

136
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:54,000
dated people who due to their anxiety had an inability to express themselves,

137
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:59,240
behaved in avoidant manners, which caused hurt of course. The reality was they

138
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:03,640
didn't want to say something stupid, do something wrong, and didn't know how to

139
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:09,120
begin to respond to broach the subject. Where I felt I was neglected and ignored,

140
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:13,200
where I felt I wasn't worthy of a response and they'd rather do something

141
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:17,400
else and leave me hanging, they were crippled with fear, constantly thinking

142
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:22,240
about the situation or what I had brought up, unable to move forward. So it's

143
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:26,440
important to know and keep in mind that anxiety looks different for everybody

144
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:31,960
and that everyone's fighting battles that we are unaware of. Anxiety is real, it is

145
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:37,640
debilitating, it's harmful to themselves and to others. Each of us experiences

146
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:43,080
anxiety in our own unique ways with different triggers and displays of it. It

147
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:47,560
all stems from wherever it once came, whether it's what we're taught in childhood

148
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:51,760
about ourselves or the world around us, how to behave based on others'

149
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:56,600
behaviors, or the simple inability to know how to manage it in a way that allows

150
00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:02,320
us to experience freedom from it. It's all real, it's all very very real. For

151
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:07,080
myself, the techniques I use are things I've had to learn over time with my

152
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:11,400
therapist. I've also tried different things from different sources to find

153
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:15,520
what works for me. Everyone's going to have their own unique thing that helps

154
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:20,080
them. The important thing is finding what that is. Sometimes it looks like

155
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:23,800
getting medication so you can give yourself the headspace to learn what

156
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:28,480
those things are rather than being in a constant state of inability to function.

157
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,320
Eventually you may be able to wean yourself off of those if that's what

158
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:37,080
you so choose. Perhaps it's a chemical imbalance that requires long-term use of

159
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:42,040
medications. That's a possibility and is okay too. For myself, I find that

160
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:47,200
meditation works wonders, especially with focus on breath work. This is also why I

161
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:51,440
enjoy yoga and I'm not talking the hardcore exercise type, but the kind

162
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:55,440
where you pair gentle stretching and positions with cycles of focused

163
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:59,760
breathing. Anything that grounds me in the present moment makes me focus on the

164
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:04,680
act of breathing in, breathing out. This is what takes me out of the jumbled up

165
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:08,680
speeding thoughts racing through my brain and allows me to quiet those

166
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:13,280
statements that perpetuate that cycle. The ones that keep me from coming back to

167
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:18,920
reality. For meditation, I find I resonate with Jeff Warren who does daily

168
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:23,920
meditations on the calm app. It's a paid app I've been using for quite some time.

169
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:28,680
I really like his voice and I like how he approaches it. I used to think

170
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:33,160
meditation sounded janky and on this spiritual plane that I didn't think I

171
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:37,520
could identify with. He's very much teaching meditation from a skeptical

172
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:41,760
point of view, which makes it really enjoyable because it feels real. I don't

173
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:45,960
beat myself up if I can't focus or get into the mental mode that I'm supposed

174
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:51,080
to be in and he points that out and offers gentle reminders as well. For yoga,

175
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:55,920
I started out with yoga by Adrienne. Her 30-day beginner course is where I

176
00:14:55,920 --> 00:15:00,720
started and I fell in love with it. It encourages me to stretch first and foremost

177
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:05,640
which is always a bonus. What I love about her is her soothing voice. She's

178
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:09,960
always so gentle and encouraging no matter the level you're at. She offers

179
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:14,640
grace and compassion when you need it and encourages self-love. She goes through

180
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:18,960
different types of yoga, different poses, and sometimes it's laying on the ground

181
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,840
with a pillow and focusing on your breathing patterns. It's actually really

182
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:27,200
great and best of all it's free and you can find it on YouTube. My relationship

183
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:32,560
with anxiety will likely never be over. I am a human being living in the world as

184
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:37,120
we know it today after all. I think it would be stupid to assume I would ever

185
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:42,920
get to live free of some form of anxiety. In my own life, I've done a lot of work,

186
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:47,640
too much to name here. There's things like challenging my thoughts, identifying

187
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:52,160
my feelings, and writing them down as they are without judgment. I practice

188
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:56,800
self-awareness and reflection, which I find really helps me. Avoiding a topic

189
00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,920
because it makes me uncomfortable just makes it worse or if I say it or in this

190
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:05,440
case write it, I'm able to feel a bit of freedom and release from it. It's truly

191
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:10,120
all about finding what works for you. As far as therapy goes, don't beat yourself

192
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:14,560
up if you haven't gotten there. Maybe you never will. I know it's a really hard

193
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:19,880
road. Sometimes people don't have the financial or geographical or even cultural

194
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:24,280
privilege of accessing services like this. I also know it's extremely

195
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:28,680
challenging to find a good therapist that is the right fit for you. It's

196
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:34,360
daunting to seek help to begin with and it's so scary, so scary. To be met with

197
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:38,920
the wrong therapist in a first experience can ruin it for you and prevent you from

198
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:43,520
wanting to pursue that path. It's a shame, but our system isn't well designed or

199
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,320
developed at this time and I know this could have been a barrier for me had I

200
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:51,200
let it, so I can just imagine what it's like for others that might experience

201
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:55,920
the same. I hate to say this next part because I am absolutely an advocate for

202
00:16:55,920 --> 00:17:00,280
vetted, reputable, therapeutic services and to seek them when you need it and I

203
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,920
don't think I would have gotten to where I am today without them. However,

204
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:09,240
knowing what I know now, there are a lot of self-help books that exist that

205
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:13,760
offer much of what I learned through therapy over the years. While I probably

206
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:19,360
would not have done as well at opening my mind and my eyes to think and grow, I

207
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:23,520
think it would have helped had I been ready or at least started the process

208
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:28,400
required behind the changes needing to be made to grow my understanding. There is a

209
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:33,120
lot of content that exists that refers a lot to these concepts and topics as

210
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:37,280
well and maybe you can find some self-awareness and healing in those, but

211
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:41,680
I personally like for my sources to be reputable in the industry rather than

212
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:45,920
just taking what people say at face value without knowing their true intent or

213
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:50,800
credentials. There's a lot of clickbait out there. The book I absolutely recommend

214
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:55,440
that I started with when it comes to anxiety connecting with yourself and

215
00:17:55,440 --> 00:18:00,960
starting the path to healing is called How to Do the Work by Nicole Lapera. To

216
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:04,960
date, I still haven't finished it because of how heavy it is. It's hard to get

217
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:09,400
through if you really sit and think about all the topics discussed and complete

218
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:13,600
the reflections in the homework. The content was parallel with a lot of what

219
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:17,760
I was learning during therapy, so it felt like a really reputable source at the

220
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:22,200
time, not to mention that the author is a registered psychologist, so I find that

221
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:27,240
very helpful. In wrapping this up, I want to thank you for your question. I hope I

222
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:32,080
was able to help in some way, some shape or form. If you found it helpful or you

223
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:37,240
just want to reach out, feel free to DM me on Instagram at Travel Nursing RN or

224
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:42,120
Wild Thing Podcast. I'm also open to accepting emails at my account Wild

225
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:48,000
ThingPod at gmail.com. Emails, of course, remain anonymous. I'm going to post a

226
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:52,920
couple links below so you can easily access the com app, the book I recommended,

227
00:18:52,920 --> 00:19:13,200
and the yoga series on YouTube. Thanks for listening.