It's time to reflect on my feelings with regard to the reception of the podcast thus
far.
I feel very blessed, very touched, thankful for the heartfelt encouraging support and
validation that I've received from so many of you, many of which are people I would never
have anticipated hearing from, who are taken aback from my first episode and announcement
of this journey.
It helps to validate what I've already known and felt within my heart for some time, that
I possess these skills and talents that I want to share with the world and that they
are indeed those things.
I don't think it's healthy to expect or need validation from others to do the things
we love and pursue what sets our souls alight.
It is nice to not feel crazy.
We live in a society that discourages us from being confident when we talk about our level
of ability with a subject out of fear of being seen as cocky or conceited.
This is a narrative I hope to change as there's nothing more admirable than seeing someone
glow when they proudly show something they've crafted from the heart.
We don't need to dim our excitement, in fact, we should be supportive of it.
There was always this worry that I was perhaps delusional in my beliefs, like those we see
online who boast about their skills about something and when you witness their practice,
you're like, are you living in a different reality than us?
Because this is not it.
So thank you.
Thank you for confirming that I am in fact not delusional in my assessments of my talents.
It's much appreciated.
As much as being my own advocate and patting myself on the back is necessary and nice,
it's a really nice feeling when people you care about and respect come forward to encourage
you to tell you that they resonate with you, your journey, your feelings and experiences.
Something really strikes deep when I'm told I'm brave for doing this and opening up in
this way.
This is where I think I'm going to make the biggest difference for myself and for others.
The fact that there are people who exist and resonate with me, who have shared my feelings
or understand where I'm coming from, in a world where I've felt nothing but alone in
my own experience for so long.
Wow.
Maybe I haven't truly been alone this entire time after all.
Maybe everyone in the room I'm in has had these feelings and thoughts.
To know that we all share similar lived experiences as humans with the common fears, shame, judgment,
pain, worries, insecurities, that is so validating for me.
It allows me to feel better, but it also makes me really sad.
It makes me sad because I realize as a society we don't encourage or practice vulnerability,
so vital for connection.
These are all things I learned only after entering therapy at 31 years of age, when
I sought to learn the ability to build healthy relationships with others that provide fulfillment
and connection, the authenticity that every single one of us craves.
This left unattainable though if we are not willing to open up and be honest about how
we feel with one another, even if we're scared.
Even when I am standing in a room, the little girl inside me stands alone, scared.
To be brave and to say, I'm really scared right now, I feel this way and this is what
I'm scared of and this is why.
Even if on the outside, on paper, it sounds absurd and out of context, it's my unique
elivid experience, these are my feelings to have and hold as they are.
I feel so scared in those moments to be judged to speak my truth that I'll sound crazy and
that you'll turn away.
The scary part, the hard part, is the first part.
The saying of the thing, whatever it may be, the deep-rooted feeling or a need that we
desire, but we're afraid to be rejected for.
I doubt you even recognize this is what you feel because we don't often sit and think
about what these fears stem from, what they're wanting us to say out loud.
When others come to me and say, hey, I resonate, I feel this, I relate, I feel like I'm not
alone.
It's such a powerful feeling, one that opens up the space for discussion with those who
reach out to exist in this same space and recognize that they too are not alone.
I think deep down we all fear being alone, we need and crave connection, support, reassurance,
and help in regulating ourselves during times of upset.
Growing into emotionally intelligent individuals who can excel at relationships at a fulfilling
life.
This ability should honestly be at the base of Maslow's hierarchy of needs because healthy
functional relationships are absolutely required to grow and thrive into the next step of the
triangle.
How else can you get to the top and experience a fulfilling life otherwise?
You can't.
That's why we're here now, isn't it?
If nothing else, it's really nice to be told, hey, I hear that, I see you, I know you're
going through this and I can relate.
I'm right there with you.
You're not alone.
You can sit in that space together without an answer.
Sometimes people aren't in the right space and time to move forward to make the necessary
changes and address the issues leading them to the here and now.
But the first step is knowing that you are not alone, nor do you have to go this alone.
There is a support and love that surrounds you.
I think this journey will allow me to help others, but you guys, I think it's also going
to help me too.
It's nice to be supported and not feel like I'm crazy for thinking I'm good at this,
that I have a shot at this.
I will likely always have a knee-jerk reaction to go there mentally, out of fear and from
experiences I've had in the past affecting my way of thinking.
I want you to know that this podcast, This is a Safe Space for Discussion, is a safe
space for discussion.
At least that's what I'm trying to cultivate here.
For feeling what we feel openly, exploring what it means, and learning how to give ourselves
compassion, grace, forgiveness, to learn to be gentle with ourselves.
We're just too hard on ourselves.
Much too hard.
Beating ourselves up rather than allowing ourselves to hold space for these emotions.
Remember, there are people you will meet in life that are going to be emotionally intelligent,
available, and will be able to hold space for you while you open up in this new way,
that can shift their perspective to gain a level of understanding that allows for validation
of your situation, empathy, and reassurance even if they've never experienced your life.
In the meantime, I am offering you a safe space where you are able to come to feel seen,
heard, and understood.
Where you are encouraged to sit with these big emotions inside of this safe space, and
my goal is to ensure that no shame follows us in through that door as we come to the
moment we're in now.
So here's to another heartfelt thank you for the love, support, and encouragement.
Thank you for being a part of this journey, and for allowing me into a corner of your
life, whether it be in your mind or in your heart, or maybe even both.
I can't wait to see what the next little while has in store for me, for you, and for
both of us together on this journey.