1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,200 It's time to reflect on my feelings with regard to the reception of the podcast thus 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,200 far. 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:12,120 I feel very blessed, very touched, thankful for the heartfelt encouraging support and 4 00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:17,260 validation that I've received from so many of you, many of which are people I would never 5 00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:21,960 have anticipated hearing from, who are taken aback from my first episode and announcement 6 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,620 of this journey. 7 00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:28,680 It helps to validate what I've already known and felt within my heart for some time, that 8 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:33,360 I possess these skills and talents that I want to share with the world and that they 9 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,640 are indeed those things. 10 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:40,080 I don't think it's healthy to expect or need validation from others to do the things 11 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,720 we love and pursue what sets our souls alight. 12 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:46,340 It is nice to not feel crazy. 13 00:00:46,340 --> 00:00:51,580 We live in a society that discourages us from being confident when we talk about our level 14 00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:57,060 of ability with a subject out of fear of being seen as cocky or conceited. 15 00:00:57,060 --> 00:01:02,140 This is a narrative I hope to change as there's nothing more admirable than seeing someone 16 00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:06,900 glow when they proudly show something they've crafted from the heart. 17 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:11,700 We don't need to dim our excitement, in fact, we should be supportive of it. 18 00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:17,640 There was always this worry that I was perhaps delusional in my beliefs, like those we see 19 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:22,200 online who boast about their skills about something and when you witness their practice, 20 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:27,120 you're like, are you living in a different reality than us? 21 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,240 Because this is not it. 22 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,920 So thank you. 23 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:36,760 Thank you for confirming that I am in fact not delusional in my assessments of my talents. 24 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,980 It's much appreciated. 25 00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:44,760 As much as being my own advocate and patting myself on the back is necessary and nice, 26 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,960 it's a really nice feeling when people you care about and respect come forward to encourage 27 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:54,760 you to tell you that they resonate with you, your journey, your feelings and experiences. 28 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:58,840 Something really strikes deep when I'm told I'm brave for doing this and opening up in 29 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,560 this way. 30 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:07,440 This is where I think I'm going to make the biggest difference for myself and for others. 31 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:12,560 The fact that there are people who exist and resonate with me, who have shared my feelings 32 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:16,920 or understand where I'm coming from, in a world where I've felt nothing but alone in 33 00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:19,680 my own experience for so long. 34 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,080 Wow. 35 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:25,360 Maybe I haven't truly been alone this entire time after all. 36 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:30,120 Maybe everyone in the room I'm in has had these feelings and thoughts. 37 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:38,000 To know that we all share similar lived experiences as humans with the common fears, shame, judgment, 38 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:44,440 pain, worries, insecurities, that is so validating for me. 39 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:48,400 It allows me to feel better, but it also makes me really sad. 40 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:55,140 It makes me sad because I realize as a society we don't encourage or practice vulnerability, 41 00:02:55,140 --> 00:02:57,560 so vital for connection. 42 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:02,480 These are all things I learned only after entering therapy at 31 years of age, when 43 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:08,160 I sought to learn the ability to build healthy relationships with others that provide fulfillment 44 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:13,160 and connection, the authenticity that every single one of us craves. 45 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:17,440 This left unattainable though if we are not willing to open up and be honest about how 46 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,760 we feel with one another, even if we're scared. 47 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:26,840 Even when I am standing in a room, the little girl inside me stands alone, scared. 48 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:32,840 To be brave and to say, I'm really scared right now, I feel this way and this is what 49 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,540 I'm scared of and this is why. 50 00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:41,160 Even if on the outside, on paper, it sounds absurd and out of context, it's my unique 51 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:46,240 elivid experience, these are my feelings to have and hold as they are. 52 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:51,600 I feel so scared in those moments to be judged to speak my truth that I'll sound crazy and 53 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,240 that you'll turn away. 54 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:56,440 The scary part, the hard part, is the first part. 55 00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:01,200 The saying of the thing, whatever it may be, the deep-rooted feeling or a need that we 56 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,520 desire, but we're afraid to be rejected for. 57 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:09,400 I doubt you even recognize this is what you feel because we don't often sit and think 58 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:14,600 about what these fears stem from, what they're wanting us to say out loud. 59 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:20,120 When others come to me and say, hey, I resonate, I feel this, I relate, I feel like I'm not 60 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,120 alone. 61 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:25,560 It's such a powerful feeling, one that opens up the space for discussion with those who 62 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:30,760 reach out to exist in this same space and recognize that they too are not alone. 63 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:37,720 I think deep down we all fear being alone, we need and crave connection, support, reassurance, 64 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:41,560 and help in regulating ourselves during times of upset. 65 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:47,640 Growing into emotionally intelligent individuals who can excel at relationships at a fulfilling 66 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:48,640 life. 67 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:53,160 This ability should honestly be at the base of Maslow's hierarchy of needs because healthy 68 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:58,680 functional relationships are absolutely required to grow and thrive into the next step of the 69 00:04:58,680 --> 00:04:59,880 triangle. 70 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:04,440 How else can you get to the top and experience a fulfilling life otherwise? 71 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:05,440 You can't. 72 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,680 That's why we're here now, isn't it? 73 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:12,760 If nothing else, it's really nice to be told, hey, I hear that, I see you, I know you're 74 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,960 going through this and I can relate. 75 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,640 I'm right there with you. 76 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,320 You're not alone. 77 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:22,440 You can sit in that space together without an answer. 78 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:27,120 Sometimes people aren't in the right space and time to move forward to make the necessary 79 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:31,320 changes and address the issues leading them to the here and now. 80 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:37,000 But the first step is knowing that you are not alone, nor do you have to go this alone. 81 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,080 There is a support and love that surrounds you. 82 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:45,160 I think this journey will allow me to help others, but you guys, I think it's also going 83 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,520 to help me too. 84 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:51,360 It's nice to be supported and not feel like I'm crazy for thinking I'm good at this, 85 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,200 that I have a shot at this. 86 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:58,120 I will likely always have a knee-jerk reaction to go there mentally, out of fear and from 87 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:02,360 experiences I've had in the past affecting my way of thinking. 88 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,480 I want you to know that this podcast, This is a Safe Space for Discussion, is a safe 89 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,200 space for discussion. 90 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,760 At least that's what I'm trying to cultivate here. 91 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:15,000 For feeling what we feel openly, exploring what it means, and learning how to give ourselves 92 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:19,600 compassion, grace, forgiveness, to learn to be gentle with ourselves. 93 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,120 We're just too hard on ourselves. 94 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,120 Much too hard. 95 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:28,160 Beating ourselves up rather than allowing ourselves to hold space for these emotions. 96 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:33,800 Remember, there are people you will meet in life that are going to be emotionally intelligent, 97 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,760 available, and will be able to hold space for you while you open up in this new way, 98 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:44,040 that can shift their perspective to gain a level of understanding that allows for validation 99 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:50,600 of your situation, empathy, and reassurance even if they've never experienced your life. 100 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:57,320 In the meantime, I am offering you a safe space where you are able to come to feel seen, 101 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,520 heard, and understood. 102 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:04,720 Where you are encouraged to sit with these big emotions inside of this safe space, and 103 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:10,080 my goal is to ensure that no shame follows us in through that door as we come to the 104 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,400 moment we're in now. 105 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:17,720 So here's to another heartfelt thank you for the love, support, and encouragement. 106 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:21,960 Thank you for being a part of this journey, and for allowing me into a corner of your 107 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:27,400 life, whether it be in your mind or in your heart, or maybe even both. 108 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:32,240 I can't wait to see what the next little while has in store for me, for you, and for 109 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:58,280 both of us together on this journey.