WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.459 Welcome back to Internet Frenzy. I am Whitney 00:00:02.459 --> 00:00:05.839 and my co -host is Joe and he is not here today. 00:00:06.339 --> 00:00:10.240 We have been crazy busy during the holidays and 00:00:10.240 --> 00:00:12.480 we've had to kind of take a step back for a second, 00:00:12.480 --> 00:00:14.839 but we're back. Fortunately, Joe can't be here 00:00:14.839 --> 00:00:16.460 today. He's at work and this is the only time 00:00:16.460 --> 00:00:19.079 I can film. So this is what we're doing and we're 00:00:19.079 --> 00:00:20.559 going to make it happen. And don't worry, this 00:00:20.559 --> 00:00:23.320 episode is going to be fantastic. I've got some 00:00:23.320 --> 00:00:25.800 juicy stuff coming up. But before we get into 00:00:25.800 --> 00:00:29.719 that, let's go over our episode from Our last 00:00:29.719 --> 00:00:32.020 current episode, which was humans going feast 00:00:32.020 --> 00:00:35.619 mode, the stories were no Thanksgiving football. 00:00:35.799 --> 00:00:38.479 So you couldn't have football on during Thanksgiving 00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:40.399 because the men, that's all they do and they 00:00:40.399 --> 00:00:42.740 don't help the woman. So the wife was putting 00:00:42.740 --> 00:00:46.219 her foot down. The next one was the girl that 00:00:46.219 --> 00:00:48.119 her mom was really, really sick, but the mom 00:00:48.119 --> 00:00:50.700 loved Thanksgiving and the daughter did not, 00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:53.460 but she did it for her mom. So she was just venting 00:00:53.460 --> 00:00:55.740 on Reddit saying how much she hated Thanksgiving. 00:00:56.300 --> 00:00:59.420 Then the girlfriend takes leftovers. This one 00:00:59.420 --> 00:01:02.299 was by far. I think my favorite one of the episode 00:01:02.299 --> 00:01:07.239 because I would just die if I did that and I 00:01:07.239 --> 00:01:10.299 have actually seen this happen at a family Thanksgiving 00:01:10.299 --> 00:01:13.079 where it was The first time a boyfriend came 00:01:13.079 --> 00:01:15.180 and he was grabbing all the leftovers and we 00:01:15.180 --> 00:01:17.099 were like what who do you think you are? What 00:01:17.099 --> 00:01:19.879 are you doing? So anyways, so funny. I actually 00:01:19.879 --> 00:01:21.700 have a really funny story thought that I will 00:01:21.700 --> 00:01:24.239 probably tell eventually And then the fourth 00:01:24.239 --> 00:01:27.680 one was who ruined Thanksgiving? And that was 00:01:27.680 --> 00:01:29.680 the one where Joe did like kind of the thread 00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:32.239 and it was a bunch of different responses to 00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:34.519 it. That one was obviously real based on it being 00:01:34.519 --> 00:01:36.439 a thread. And we kind of told a bunch of different 00:01:36.439 --> 00:01:39.400 random little stories. The fake of the last week's 00:01:39.400 --> 00:01:44.700 episode was no. football on Thanksgiving. I don't 00:01:44.700 --> 00:01:47.079 know if any woman would have the balls to tell 00:01:47.079 --> 00:01:50.760 all these men no football on Thanksgiving. Like, 00:01:50.760 --> 00:01:54.780 that's so crazy to me. So anyways, I'm sure there's 00:01:54.780 --> 00:01:56.400 families out there that don't watch football 00:01:56.400 --> 00:01:59.879 on Thanksgiving. There's got to be. But yeah, 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:02.219 our family is not one of them. And Joe would 00:02:02.219 --> 00:02:04.920 literally fire me if I ever did that. But I'm 00:02:04.920 --> 00:02:07.500 really excited for this week's episode. It is 00:02:07.500 --> 00:02:09.740 going to be a blast. This one, we're just going 00:02:09.740 --> 00:02:12.659 to get crazy. And honestly, I'm really glad I'm 00:02:12.659 --> 00:02:16.340 doing this episode by myself because for many 00:02:16.340 --> 00:02:19.340 reasons, but let me tell you the title of it. 00:02:43.759 --> 00:02:47.060 So the title of this week's episode is Caught 00:02:47.060 --> 00:02:51.060 Red -Handed. So this is the wildest ways cheaters 00:02:51.060 --> 00:02:54.840 get exposed. So lots of crazy stories we found 00:02:54.840 --> 00:02:57.860 on the internet. It's insane. People suck. But 00:02:57.860 --> 00:03:01.300 I do feel like I get very heated and I am very 00:03:01.300 --> 00:03:04.139 much like, I'm pretty strong -willed when it 00:03:04.139 --> 00:03:06.819 comes to this stuff and Joe is much more like, 00:03:08.060 --> 00:03:12.090 I'm like, no, screw them. they shouldn't do that 00:03:12.090 --> 00:03:13.909 blah blah blah so it's kind of nice i'm just 00:03:13.909 --> 00:03:16.090 going to be able to be like unleashed today where 00:03:16.090 --> 00:03:18.629 i can just like express however i freaking want 00:03:18.629 --> 00:03:22.569 without freaking mr nice guy over here telling 00:03:22.569 --> 00:03:24.430 me that like maybe they are a good person no 00:03:24.430 --> 00:03:28.409 you're not you suck you cheater you know so anyways 00:03:28.409 --> 00:03:32.050 let's get into it i'm stoked so this story went 00:03:32.050 --> 00:03:36.430 viral on reddit but i found it on people magazine 00:03:36.430 --> 00:03:40.069 website whatever but it's says the title is man 00:03:40.069 --> 00:03:42.229 dumps girlfriend after she made out with a local 00:03:42.229 --> 00:03:44.509 athlete she claims it didn't count and wasn't 00:03:44.509 --> 00:03:46.849 even that bad after discovering his girlfriend 00:03:46.849 --> 00:03:49.569 kissed someone from her whole past list one man 00:03:49.569 --> 00:03:51.509 questioned whether ending the relationship was 00:03:51.509 --> 00:03:54.009 the right call a man saw advice from the reddit 00:03:54.009 --> 00:03:55.770 community after breaking up with his girlfriend 00:03:55.770 --> 00:03:57.689 for acting on what she claimed was an agreed 00:03:57.689 --> 00:04:01.310 upon freebie he explained that the incident happened 00:04:01.310 --> 00:04:03.370 years earlier but that he still wondered whether 00:04:03.370 --> 00:04:06.240 he was in the wrong here Reflecting on the relationship, 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:08.439 Hugh recalled the day they discussed Hall Pass 00:04:08.439 --> 00:04:11.780 list, saying her choices included mostly athletes 00:04:11.780 --> 00:04:14.340 from our hometown. He admitted that it struck 00:04:14.340 --> 00:04:16.620 him as odd choices to me since mine were all 00:04:16.620 --> 00:04:19.240 actresses and singers, but said he ultimately 00:04:19.240 --> 00:04:21.439 thought nothing of it. Months later, his girlfriend 00:04:21.439 --> 00:04:23.360 went out for a birthday celebration with friends 00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:26.199 and ended up at a crowded downtown club. According 00:04:26.199 --> 00:04:28.139 to him, my girlfriend ended up making out with 00:04:28.139 --> 00:04:30.819 one of the guys on our list. Something only he 00:04:30.819 --> 00:04:32.879 learned because of a friend who was there told 00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:35.600 him afterward. He confronted his girlfriend and 00:04:35.600 --> 00:04:38.139 she confirmed the encounter happened but insisted 00:04:38.139 --> 00:04:40.480 it wasn't cheating as he remembered. She said 00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:42.839 yes it did happen but then insisted that because 00:04:42.839 --> 00:04:45.199 it was with someone on her previously disclosed 00:04:45.199 --> 00:04:47.579 list that it didn't count. The revelation left 00:04:47.579 --> 00:04:49.699 him stunned and hurt especially given his history. 00:04:49.779 --> 00:04:51.860 I had been cheated on before in a relationship 00:04:51.860 --> 00:04:54.620 years prior and it shattered my trust. What troubled 00:04:54.620 --> 00:04:56.839 him even more was her attempt to justify the 00:04:56.839 --> 00:04:59.019 moment as harmless. She told him it was just 00:04:59.019 --> 00:05:01.000 making out and touching so it wasn't even that 00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:03.879 bad. and argued that she wouldn't have been upset 00:05:03.879 --> 00:05:06.879 if the roles were reversed. In that moment, he 00:05:06.879 --> 00:05:08.839 made the decision to end the relationship. I 00:05:08.839 --> 00:05:10.620 didn't know what to say, but I just ended it 00:05:10.620 --> 00:05:12.959 there, believing she had been unfaithful to me 00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:14.600 just to make out with a celebrity who didn't 00:05:14.600 --> 00:05:18.240 actually even give a crap about her. Okay, so 00:05:18.240 --> 00:05:21.439 a lot of the comments are talking about how this 00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:25.680 is a good example and lesson for the guy to set 00:05:25.680 --> 00:05:28.759 boundaries. for the girl because the girl obviously 00:05:28.759 --> 00:05:30.959 said well it was on my list we agreed to if it's 00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:33.100 on our list we can do it they were saying well 00:05:33.100 --> 00:05:36.680 it was technically allowed on paper but emotionally 00:05:36.680 --> 00:05:39.480 crossed a boundary. I think it's really weird 00:05:39.480 --> 00:05:41.819 that she did choose someone local rather than 00:05:41.819 --> 00:05:45.139 like a celebrity like Channing Tatum. I think 00:05:45.139 --> 00:05:48.040 it's really sad that he was cheated on before. 00:05:48.379 --> 00:05:50.459 Oh, I like this. Someone commented, a freebie 00:05:50.459 --> 00:05:52.980 list with reachable people is asking for trouble. 00:05:53.259 --> 00:05:55.519 I'm like, that is so true. I can't even imagine 00:05:55.519 --> 00:05:58.740 dating someone and them being like freaking Susan 00:05:58.740 --> 00:06:01.259 down the street. She's on my hall pass. It's 00:06:01.259 --> 00:06:05.779 like, oh, okay. Like that's gonna be a no. so 00:06:05.779 --> 00:06:08.699 that would be really wild to have your girlfriend 00:06:08.699 --> 00:06:10.920 say something like that. I think he absolutely 00:06:10.920 --> 00:06:13.120 did the right thing by saying peace out to her 00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:15.120 and the fact that she didn't validate any of 00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:17.920 his feelings after he was like clearly heartbroken 00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:20.779 and like his trust was shattered. Being cheated 00:06:20.779 --> 00:06:23.540 on doesn't just like hurt someone's feelings 00:06:23.540 --> 00:06:28.500 like It literally, psychologically and emotionally 00:06:28.500 --> 00:06:32.040 shifts that literally change how someone processes 00:06:32.040 --> 00:06:35.579 relationships and trust. There was this therapist 00:06:35.579 --> 00:06:38.100 that talked about how the brain treats infidelity 00:06:38.100 --> 00:06:41.100 like trauma. Therapists often classify betrayal 00:06:41.100 --> 00:06:45.220 trauma as a form of relational PTSD. Why? Because 00:06:45.220 --> 00:06:47.860 the brain depends on attachment figures for safety. 00:06:48.180 --> 00:06:50.379 So someone who's been cheated on may overthink, 00:06:50.540 --> 00:06:52.899 scan for danger, have intrusive thoughts. be 00:06:52.899 --> 00:06:55.779 hypersensitive to inconsistencies, panic when 00:06:55.779 --> 00:06:59.240 something fills off even mildly. It's not insecurity, 00:06:59.399 --> 00:07:02.300 it's a trauma response. It changes your cortisol 00:07:02.300 --> 00:07:05.899 and adrenaline floods your body. The same hormonal 00:07:05.899 --> 00:07:08.759 response as a physical threat, heart racing, 00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:11.279 shaking, difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, 00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:14.600 obsessive thinking. This chemical storm can last 00:07:14.600 --> 00:07:17.040 two weeks to months depending on support and 00:07:17.040 --> 00:07:20.920 healing. your attachment system rewires. It's 00:07:20.920 --> 00:07:23.660 not being dramatic. I have to say, if you have 00:07:23.660 --> 00:07:25.980 cheated on someone in the past and you're listening 00:07:25.980 --> 00:07:31.100 to this, you have literally changed that person. 00:07:31.220 --> 00:07:33.319 And this is where Joe would come in and try and 00:07:33.319 --> 00:07:35.860 like calm me down a little bit. But seriously, 00:07:36.279 --> 00:07:39.600 it is the worst. I mean, obviously there's murder, 00:07:39.720 --> 00:07:41.920 but it is one of the worst things you can do 00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:44.959 to someone you love. The fact that this man was 00:07:44.959 --> 00:07:47.980 cheated on before just is very interesting to 00:07:47.980 --> 00:07:51.439 me that he did not want to make clear boundaries 00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:53.720 when it came to this hall pass, especially when 00:07:53.720 --> 00:07:56.459 the hall pass was doable because they were local. 00:07:56.680 --> 00:07:59.439 Those types of rules cannot be fuzzy, so I hope 00:07:59.439 --> 00:08:02.319 he has learned from this lesson and he makes 00:08:02.319 --> 00:08:06.139 it damn sure for the next one that there are 00:08:06.139 --> 00:08:08.639 clear, clear boundaries. Because then years later 00:08:08.639 --> 00:08:10.959 he's not going on the internet asking, should 00:08:10.959 --> 00:08:13.810 I not have broken up with her? It's like, bro. 00:08:14.290 --> 00:08:17.089 Okay, so this one might be controversial and 00:08:17.089 --> 00:08:20.370 I am curious to hear what you guys would say. 00:08:20.470 --> 00:08:22.430 If Joe was here, I feel like he would definitely 00:08:22.430 --> 00:08:25.089 give this person a lot of grace and I would not. 00:08:25.430 --> 00:08:28.709 So this is off the subreddit, cheating stories. 00:08:29.129 --> 00:08:31.769 My husband of five years has kissed another girl. 00:08:32.009 --> 00:08:34.850 I am heartbroken. It is very out of character 00:08:34.850 --> 00:08:37.570 for him and I never expected it. He is sorry 00:08:37.570 --> 00:08:39.830 and wants to work on things. Can you change? 00:08:40.059 --> 00:08:42.600 He was in a random bar far away from our hometown. 00:08:42.860 --> 00:08:45.340 He kissed a random girl and has not had any contact 00:08:45.340 --> 00:08:48.279 with this woman since. Icy Setting commented, 00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:50.899 you need to give more context before people can 00:08:50.899 --> 00:08:53.019 vote on that. Was he drunk? Did he know her? 00:08:53.059 --> 00:08:54.919 Does he still have contact with her? Was it in 00:08:54.919 --> 00:08:58.080 a bar with a stranger? Bubbly code. He was drunk. 00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:00.639 He has never met the woman before. He has had 00:09:00.639 --> 00:09:02.899 no contact since the kiss. There was nothing 00:09:02.899 --> 00:09:05.659 but a kiss. And she said, I'm just scared it 00:09:05.659 --> 00:09:09.000 will happen again. Oh, Sparkle and Shine commented. 00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:11.620 How did you find out, OP? Just so you're aware, 00:09:11.940 --> 00:09:13.919 we just kissed, as hands down one of the most 00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:16.120 common lies a cheater tells their betrayed spouse. 00:09:16.580 --> 00:09:18.539 So common, in fact, it's said to be straight 00:09:18.539 --> 00:09:20.820 out of the cheater's playbook and is known as 00:09:20.820 --> 00:09:23.960 trickle truth. Just a kiss ends up being, we 00:09:23.960 --> 00:09:25.840 kissed and felt each other up. We kissed and 00:09:25.840 --> 00:09:28.000 felt each other up, ends up, we kissed, felt 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:30.000 each other up, and did oral. We kissed, felt 00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:31.759 each other up, and did oral, ends up, we kissed, 00:09:31.860 --> 00:09:33.460 felt each other up, did oral, we're naked in 00:09:33.460 --> 00:09:35.820 bed together and started to have PIV sex. Oh 00:09:35.820 --> 00:09:37.909 my gosh. but I kind of go through with it, and 00:09:37.909 --> 00:09:39.710 so on and so forth, you get the gist, I'm sure. 00:09:40.110 --> 00:09:42.710 In the end, that it's just a kiss turns out to 00:09:42.710 --> 00:09:44.590 actually have been full -blown sex with multiple 00:09:44.590 --> 00:09:47.309 rounds. Here's the thing. Two grown -ass adults 00:09:47.309 --> 00:09:49.070 that are sexually attracted to each other that 00:09:49.070 --> 00:09:52.190 have time and proximity on their side don't just 00:09:52.190 --> 00:09:54.750 kiss like a couple of inexperienced teenagers. 00:09:55.330 --> 00:09:57.529 Especially so if they're drunk and their inhibitions 00:09:57.529 --> 00:09:59.929 are lowered. They have sex and plenty of it. 00:10:00.210 --> 00:10:04.629 You need to dig deeper, Oki. Wow. So that person 00:10:04.629 --> 00:10:06.809 has obviously been betrayed because they have 00:10:06.809 --> 00:10:09.509 been through the ringer. The trickle truth is 00:10:09.509 --> 00:10:15.590 real. It is real, y 'all. Oh my gosh. Boy, is 00:10:15.590 --> 00:10:18.929 it real. If you find something out that you're 00:10:18.929 --> 00:10:23.049 like, huh, that's interesting. That sucks. That 00:10:23.049 --> 00:10:25.549 hurts. Why did you do that? And they'll tell 00:10:25.549 --> 00:10:28.070 you. They'll tell you something. But I am telling 00:10:28.070 --> 00:10:31.009 you, it is not the full truth and you have to 00:10:31.009 --> 00:10:33.980 dig. deeper y 'all get those detective glasses 00:10:33.980 --> 00:10:37.960 on life is hard out here for women and men I 00:10:37.960 --> 00:10:39.879 I know plenty of men that have been cheated on 00:10:39.879 --> 00:10:42.159 and the trickle truth has been applied as well 00:10:42.159 --> 00:10:44.919 to that okay and now our next story is number 00:10:44.919 --> 00:10:47.879 three found out my wife wasn't working out at 00:10:47.879 --> 00:10:50.379 the gym she was working out with someone else 00:10:50.379 --> 00:10:54.080 I'm 33m and my wife is 31f married six years 00:10:54.080 --> 00:10:56.340 no major issues at least and then I know about 00:10:56.340 --> 00:10:59.100 about two months ago she got really into going 00:10:59.100 --> 00:11:01.620 to the gym which was great She said it helped 00:11:01.620 --> 00:11:03.639 her anxiety, gave her something to focus on. 00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:06.059 She started going four to five days a week, mostly 00:11:06.059 --> 00:11:08.440 in the evenings after work. I was actually really 00:11:08.440 --> 00:11:10.500 proud of her. She'd come home happy and say that 00:11:10.500 --> 00:11:12.580 her trainer worked her really hard today. This 00:11:12.580 --> 00:11:15.179 trainer was apparently amazing. She talked about 00:11:15.179 --> 00:11:17.639 him constantly, not in a weird way at first, 00:11:17.919 --> 00:11:20.379 just like gym talk. One night, she forgot her 00:11:20.379 --> 00:11:22.519 water bottle in my car and texted asking if I 00:11:22.519 --> 00:11:24.879 could bring it. I was already near the gym running 00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:26.820 errands, so I figured, sure, why not surprise 00:11:26.820 --> 00:11:29.139 her. I pulled into the parking lot and immediately 00:11:29.139 --> 00:11:31.159 noticed her car parked way in the back, nowhere 00:11:31.159 --> 00:11:34.220 near the entrance. Weird, but whatever. The place 00:11:34.220 --> 00:11:37.100 gets busy. I walk in, tell the guy at the front 00:11:37.100 --> 00:11:39.240 desk I'm dropping off a water bottle for my wife. 00:11:39.639 --> 00:11:41.299 He goes, oh, I don't think she's here today. 00:11:41.340 --> 00:11:43.720 I haven't seen her. I'm confused because her 00:11:43.720 --> 00:11:46.840 car is literally outside. He double checks. Nope, 00:11:47.080 --> 00:11:49.519 she definitely hasn't checked in. I go back out, 00:11:49.580 --> 00:11:51.399 walk around the building thinking maybe she's 00:11:51.399 --> 00:11:53.539 outside somewhere cooling off. That's when I 00:11:53.539 --> 00:11:56.120 see her. I decide to go towards her car and there 00:11:56.120 --> 00:11:59.080 I see something happening in the backseat of 00:11:59.080 --> 00:12:01.940 the car. Here she is making out with some dude 00:12:01.940 --> 00:12:04.620 wearing a trainer shirt and not just a kiss, 00:12:04.840 --> 00:12:06.919 like fully pressed up against him, hands all 00:12:06.919 --> 00:12:08.840 over each other straddling him. I stood there 00:12:08.840 --> 00:12:11.399 shocked long enough for them to notice me. She 00:12:11.399 --> 00:12:14.059 jumped off of them like she had been electrocuted. 00:12:14.350 --> 00:12:16.970 He backed away instantly like he was the one 00:12:16.970 --> 00:12:19.230 caught cheating. She gets out of the car and 00:12:19.230 --> 00:12:21.110 starts rambling. It's not what it looks like. 00:12:21.110 --> 00:12:23.309 We were just talking. I didn't say anything. 00:12:23.370 --> 00:12:25.629 I honestly couldn't. I just handed her the water 00:12:25.629 --> 00:12:27.830 bottle and walked back to my car because I knew 00:12:27.830 --> 00:12:30.870 if I opened my mouth, it'd be a huge scene. She 00:12:30.870 --> 00:12:33.070 tried chasing after me, crying, swearing it was 00:12:33.070 --> 00:12:35.470 just kissing and just emotional and she didn't 00:12:35.470 --> 00:12:37.750 mean for it to go anywhere. Found out later this 00:12:37.750 --> 00:12:40.110 had been going on for months. All those late 00:12:40.110 --> 00:12:42.149 night workouts were actually them hooking up 00:12:42.149 --> 00:12:45.259 in his car or hers. or inside the gym office 00:12:45.259 --> 00:12:48.320 after hours. I moved into my brother's place 00:12:48.320 --> 00:12:50.539 a week ago. We haven't talked since except through 00:12:50.539 --> 00:12:53.500 text above those. The stupidest part, she still 00:12:53.500 --> 00:12:57.600 goes to the same gym. That is terrible. That 00:12:57.600 --> 00:13:00.759 is seriously so sad. There's a comment. She didn't 00:13:00.759 --> 00:13:02.879 even check in at the gym. That says everything. 00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:04.940 She wasn't even trying to hide it at that point. 00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:07.659 And what's crazy is she literally said, can you 00:13:07.659 --> 00:13:09.580 come bring my water bottle? Granted, she did 00:13:09.580 --> 00:13:12.250 think. Would take him a while because she thought 00:13:12.250 --> 00:13:14.629 he was home or wherever. I don't know, but she 00:13:14.629 --> 00:13:17.750 obviously was not expecting him to be there right 00:13:17.750 --> 00:13:22.509 away, but still Bro, how thirsty were you clearly 00:13:22.509 --> 00:13:25.330 very thirsty? Oh gosh, another comment said my 00:13:25.330 --> 00:13:28.169 ex to the same theme gym time was actually car 00:13:28.169 --> 00:13:29.830 time with her trainer You're not alone dude. 00:13:29.830 --> 00:13:32.570 It sucks, but you got out early. I don't know 00:13:32.570 --> 00:13:34.850 if you got out, bro I'm pretty sure they were 00:13:34.850 --> 00:13:38.139 married, right? So it's not like you really got 00:13:38.139 --> 00:13:40.779 out of if it was just like you were dating. Yeah, 00:13:40.820 --> 00:13:43.240 they've been married six years That's that's 00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:45.200 a good amount of time It's crazy though because 00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:47.240 there's like studies on it that people are more 00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:49.799 likely to develop like romantic or such sexual 00:13:49.799 --> 00:13:52.720 feelings towards someone who gives them focused 00:13:52.720 --> 00:13:56.919 one -on -one attention Like encourages them compliments 00:13:56.919 --> 00:13:59.659 their progress sees them regularly knows their 00:13:59.659 --> 00:14:02.399 insecurities works with them in a private or 00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:05.340 semi -private setting so Physical trainers obviously 00:14:05.340 --> 00:14:08.399 hit all six of those criterias. You're sweaty, 00:14:08.539 --> 00:14:10.259 vulnerable, working in your body, and they're 00:14:10.259 --> 00:14:14.480 right there hyping you up. Oh, wow. So it creates 00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:18.000 what psychologists call false intimacy, where 00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:19.940 the client feels emotionally close because of 00:14:19.940 --> 00:14:22.580 the environment, not because of an actual relationship. 00:14:22.899 --> 00:14:25.500 This is the same phenomenon that happens with 00:14:25.500 --> 00:14:28.220 therapists, physical therapists, massage therapists, 00:14:28.519 --> 00:14:31.600 coaches, even hairdressers. Could definitely 00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:33.779 see hairdressers being one of them for sure. 00:14:33.779 --> 00:14:36.299 It is this like false intimacy when you are getting 00:14:36.299 --> 00:14:41.100 your hair done male or female or whatever I Definitely 00:14:41.100 --> 00:14:42.580 could see that you guys want to know something 00:14:42.580 --> 00:14:46.340 crazy to why clients become attracted to trainers 00:14:46.340 --> 00:14:49.879 based on psychology Studies show that endorphins 00:14:49.879 --> 00:14:53.200 and physical exertion can mimic the feeling of 00:14:53.200 --> 00:14:56.159 chemistry your brain literally misinterprets 00:14:56.159 --> 00:15:00.110 the physical high as emotional attraction. That's 00:15:00.110 --> 00:15:03.110 so crazy. This one's also really sad, but it's 00:15:03.110 --> 00:15:05.970 why trainers sometimes cross boundaries because 00:15:05.970 --> 00:15:08.730 they're in a power role. They control your workout, 00:15:08.909 --> 00:15:10.929 your progress, your self -esteem, your physical 00:15:10.929 --> 00:15:13.590 comfort, and it creates a dynamic similar to 00:15:13.590 --> 00:15:16.490 a coach or mentor. It's so sad. I think it's 00:15:16.490 --> 00:15:18.950 really great that the husband walked away. He 00:15:18.950 --> 00:15:22.360 could have done a lot. more damage than that 00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:24.879 and I think it was a good thing that he there's 00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:27.299 like the fight or flight response and you definitely 00:15:27.299 --> 00:15:30.740 was choosing the flight response and probably 00:15:30.740 --> 00:15:33.460 a little bit of the disassociation as well thing 00:15:33.460 --> 00:15:36.179 that one's really sad but so common it's just 00:15:36.179 --> 00:15:38.379 crazy that that stuff happens all the freaking 00:15:38.379 --> 00:15:41.200 time now we're gonna go on to story number four 00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:45.000 the last story of this week's episode this is 00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:47.600 from a subreddit infidelity wife caught having 00:15:47.600 --> 00:15:50.980 an affair do I give her a chance My wife 42F, 00:15:51.000 --> 00:15:52.980 we will call her Kay, of nine years was caught 00:15:52.980 --> 00:15:55.000 having an affair by the girlfriend Sarah of the 00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:59.039 guy Brian that Kay is cheating on me, Joe 46M 00:15:59.039 --> 00:16:02.120 with. The Sarah contacted Kay and demanded answers. 00:16:02.539 --> 00:16:04.440 Sarah threatened to expose the affair to me if 00:16:04.440 --> 00:16:06.840 Kay didn't come clean. Kay told me about the 00:16:06.840 --> 00:16:09.299 affair saying it was a one -time thing. Sarah 00:16:09.299 --> 00:16:11.960 contacted me and we compared notes. Apparently 00:16:11.960 --> 00:16:14.059 it's been building for weeks and they have met 00:16:14.059 --> 00:16:16.840 at a hotel for sex and even have had sex at Brian 00:16:16.840 --> 00:16:20.340 and Sarah's apartment. Meanwhile, Kay had concocted 00:16:20.340 --> 00:16:23.179 elaborate stories to cover her affair. I blindly 00:16:23.179 --> 00:16:24.779 trusted her because we have been married for 00:16:24.779 --> 00:16:27.179 nine years and have two children under six years 00:16:27.179 --> 00:16:29.720 old together. The last five years have been like 00:16:29.720 --> 00:16:31.919 peeling an onion of lies, each time being told 00:16:31.919 --> 00:16:34.120 that that's all there is until Sarah and I compare 00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:36.240 notes and discover more truth. I am the majority 00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:38.460 of financial support for the family, earning 00:16:38.460 --> 00:16:41.639 about four times Kay's set small salary. Brian 00:16:41.639 --> 00:16:44.460 and Kay are coworkers at a public hospital and 00:16:44.460 --> 00:16:47.240 earn a small wage. Text messages reveal that 00:16:47.240 --> 00:16:49.480 Brian has said he would take care of Kay whatever 00:16:49.480 --> 00:16:52.360 that means. Kay wants a second chance and says 00:16:52.360 --> 00:16:54.679 she messed up and is sorry. I asked for details 00:16:54.679 --> 00:16:56.440 and she said they slept together three times 00:16:56.440 --> 00:16:58.399 last Wednesday in a hotel then again Saturday 00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:01.840 afternoon and evening at his apartment. My two 00:17:01.840 --> 00:17:03.679 young boys will suffer the most from what's been 00:17:03.679 --> 00:17:06.240 done. Sarah has posted things on social media 00:17:06.240 --> 00:17:09.420 identifying my wife and the affair. I told Brian 00:17:09.420 --> 00:17:12.339 via text to cease contacts with my wife. Everyone 00:17:12.339 --> 00:17:15.250 involved including me worked from home. So it's 00:17:15.250 --> 00:17:17.650 crazy that this could happen. My wife and I work 00:17:17.650 --> 00:17:21.069 in rooms 10 feet apart. I've been so naive. How 00:17:21.069 --> 00:17:23.490 do we deal with the fact that Kay and Brian work 00:17:23.490 --> 00:17:25.789 together? It's a public hospital with zero tolerance 00:17:25.789 --> 00:17:28.710 for sexual misconduct. Both would likely be fired 00:17:28.710 --> 00:17:31.049 if people found out. How do I get through tomorrow? 00:17:31.170 --> 00:17:33.450 I'm humiliated, angry, hurt, and devastated. 00:17:33.609 --> 00:17:36.170 Kay wants to reconcile. Should I continue to 00:17:36.170 --> 00:17:38.190 allow Kay to have access to my bank accounts? 00:17:38.509 --> 00:17:40.410 I considered opening new accounts and moving 00:17:40.410 --> 00:17:42.509 things out of her reach. I understand a divorce 00:17:42.509 --> 00:17:44.869 will split things evenly in the end. But in the 00:17:44.869 --> 00:17:47.069 meantime, she can try to live on her small income. 00:17:47.490 --> 00:17:51.970 The ATM is closed. Edit. She recently began spending 00:17:51.970 --> 00:17:53.869 more money than usual on her hair appointments, 00:17:54.130 --> 00:17:56.589 color and styling, botox and waxing. She can't 00:17:56.589 --> 00:17:58.410 afford any of those things, so I pay for them. 00:17:58.750 --> 00:18:01.130 She even had me choose which pants made her butt 00:18:01.130 --> 00:18:04.029 look the best before she went to his house. Sarah 00:18:04.029 --> 00:18:05.990 and I have talked a lot the last few days, and 00:18:05.990 --> 00:18:08.529 it's clear that AP and my wife were in a somewhat 00:18:08.529 --> 00:18:11.210 serious relationship, not just a hookup. Sarah 00:18:11.210 --> 00:18:13.369 and I have actually developed a bond in the midst 00:18:13.369 --> 00:18:15.789 of the darkness. I'm helping her get on her feet 00:18:15.789 --> 00:18:18.069 and get a place on her own I feel guilty for 00:18:18.069 --> 00:18:20.509 what my wife did to her Sarah was looking forward 00:18:20.509 --> 00:18:22.609 to having all the things I had with my wife like 00:18:22.609 --> 00:18:25.430 kids and a family I am glad that I can help her 00:18:25.430 --> 00:18:27.789 and we have become support for what each other 00:18:27.789 --> 00:18:29.930 I know there'd be people out there that would 00:18:29.930 --> 00:18:32.190 say like you can't just like financially take 00:18:32.190 --> 00:18:34.470 everything away from that person even if they've 00:18:34.470 --> 00:18:37.410 cheated But there's definitely something to say 00:18:37.410 --> 00:18:42.309 about every person is going to react in a different 00:18:42.309 --> 00:18:45.049 way when they have been betrayed. And definitely 00:18:45.049 --> 00:18:48.170 one of the things he's doing is his nervous system 00:18:48.170 --> 00:18:51.369 is like a protection mode. It's not just like 00:18:51.369 --> 00:18:54.990 an emotional reaction. So to him, withholding 00:18:54.990 --> 00:18:58.009 finances is definitely one of his ways to like, 00:18:58.769 --> 00:19:01.029 protect himself. I think that's something that 00:19:01.029 --> 00:19:04.569 is hard for people to understand without going 00:19:04.569 --> 00:19:09.539 through intense therapy is the reconciliation 00:19:09.539 --> 00:19:13.259 is different from relationship repair. When you 00:19:13.259 --> 00:19:15.259 have betrayed someone and you just look at them 00:19:15.259 --> 00:19:17.180 and say, I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again 00:19:17.180 --> 00:19:20.220 and expect them to just fully trust and like 00:19:20.220 --> 00:19:23.599 move on, it's not going to happen. There is a 00:19:23.599 --> 00:19:26.779 lot of betrayal trauma on the other partners 00:19:26.779 --> 00:19:31.039 and where that's not going to heal them whatsoever. 00:19:31.180 --> 00:19:33.779 And it's also not going to heal the cheater either. 00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:36.519 And they'll most likely do it again. Just because 00:19:36.519 --> 00:19:40.720 you decide to stay together after something so 00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:42.900 damaging to your relationship doesn't mean you 00:19:42.900 --> 00:19:46.880 are going to make it through. There has to be 00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:51.430 a sense of structured rebuilding of trust. which 00:19:51.430 --> 00:19:54.589 would obviously, I believe, include couples therapy, 00:19:54.930 --> 00:19:58.769 transparency, agreements, and definitely new 00:19:58.769 --> 00:20:01.950 communication patterns. So anyways, that's where 00:20:01.950 --> 00:20:03.910 we're landing today. A reminder that cheating 00:20:03.910 --> 00:20:06.549 isn't always kind of like hotel rooms and dramatic 00:20:06.549 --> 00:20:09.349 movie scenes. If you've ever been through betrayal, 00:20:09.450 --> 00:20:12.089 you know how much it Fs up your nervous system, 00:20:12.230 --> 00:20:15.250 your sense of safety. So whether you've been 00:20:15.250 --> 00:20:17.910 the person hurt or the person healing, be gentle 00:20:17.910 --> 00:20:20.990 with yourself. You are not crazy. you're reacting 00:20:20.990 --> 00:20:23.609 to real trauma. I do want to know which one you 00:20:23.609 --> 00:20:25.990 guys think was the fake. This one might be one 00:20:25.990 --> 00:20:28.390 that you weren't expecting to be the fake, but 00:20:28.390 --> 00:20:32.150 it is. So that's my little hint for you. And 00:20:32.150 --> 00:20:34.069 I can't wait to hear what you guys have to say. 00:20:34.230 --> 00:20:37.170 So follow us on Instagram, subscribe to our YouTube 00:20:37.170 --> 00:20:39.829 channel, leave us a review on our podcast. We 00:20:39.829 --> 00:20:42.109 are just so grateful for you guys. We never thought 00:20:42.109 --> 00:20:45.250 in million years that we would have. podcast 00:20:45.250 --> 00:20:48.450 that is growing so fast and it's been so exciting. 00:20:48.829 --> 00:20:50.509 Christmas is coming so our next episode will 00:20:50.509 --> 00:20:53.170 be Christmas themed and I'm really excited and 00:20:53.170 --> 00:20:56.170 Joe will be here I promise. Anyways thank you 00:20:56.170 --> 00:20:58.049 all and hope you have a great day!