Welcome back to Internet Frenzy. I am Whitney
and my co -host is Joe and he is not here today.
We have been crazy busy during the holidays and
we've had to kind of take a step back for a second,
but we're back. Fortunately, Joe can't be here
today. He's at work and this is the only time
I can film. So this is what we're doing and we're
going to make it happen. And don't worry, this
episode is going to be fantastic. I've got some
juicy stuff coming up. But before we get into
that, let's go over our episode from Our last
current episode, which was humans going feast
mode, the stories were no Thanksgiving football.
So you couldn't have football on during Thanksgiving
because the men, that's all they do and they
don't help the woman. So the wife was putting
her foot down. The next one was the girl that
her mom was really, really sick, but the mom
loved Thanksgiving and the daughter did not,
but she did it for her mom. So she was just venting
on Reddit saying how much she hated Thanksgiving.
Then the girlfriend takes leftovers. This one
was by far. I think my favorite one of the episode
because I would just die if I did that and I
have actually seen this happen at a family Thanksgiving
where it was The first time a boyfriend came
and he was grabbing all the leftovers and we
were like what who do you think you are? What
are you doing? So anyways, so funny. I actually
have a really funny story thought that I will
probably tell eventually And then the fourth
one was who ruined Thanksgiving? And that was
the one where Joe did like kind of the thread
and it was a bunch of different responses to
it. That one was obviously real based on it being
a thread. And we kind of told a bunch of different
random little stories. The fake of the last week's
episode was no. football on Thanksgiving. I don't
know if any woman would have the balls to tell
all these men no football on Thanksgiving. Like,
that's so crazy to me. So anyways, I'm sure there's
families out there that don't watch football
on Thanksgiving. There's got to be. But yeah,
our family is not one of them. And Joe would
literally fire me if I ever did that. But I'm
really excited for this week's episode. It is
going to be a blast. This one, we're just going
to get crazy. And honestly, I'm really glad I'm
doing this episode by myself because for many
reasons, but let me tell you the title of it.
So the title of this week's episode is Caught
Red -Handed. So this is the wildest ways cheaters
get exposed. So lots of crazy stories we found
on the internet. It's insane. People suck. But
I do feel like I get very heated and I am very
much like, I'm pretty strong -willed when it
comes to this stuff and Joe is much more like,
I'm like, no, screw them. they shouldn't do that
blah blah blah so it's kind of nice i'm just
going to be able to be like unleashed today where
i can just like express however i freaking want
without freaking mr nice guy over here telling
me that like maybe they are a good person no
you're not you suck you cheater you know so anyways
let's get into it i'm stoked so this story went
viral on reddit but i found it on people magazine
website whatever but it's says the title is man
dumps girlfriend after she made out with a local
athlete she claims it didn't count and wasn't
even that bad after discovering his girlfriend
kissed someone from her whole past list one man
questioned whether ending the relationship was
the right call a man saw advice from the reddit
community after breaking up with his girlfriend
for acting on what she claimed was an agreed
upon freebie he explained that the incident happened
years earlier but that he still wondered whether
he was in the wrong here Reflecting on the relationship,
Hugh recalled the day they discussed Hall Pass
list, saying her choices included mostly athletes
from our hometown. He admitted that it struck
him as odd choices to me since mine were all
actresses and singers, but said he ultimately
thought nothing of it. Months later, his girlfriend
went out for a birthday celebration with friends
and ended up at a crowded downtown club. According
to him, my girlfriend ended up making out with
one of the guys on our list. Something only he
learned because of a friend who was there told
him afterward. He confronted his girlfriend and
she confirmed the encounter happened but insisted
it wasn't cheating as he remembered. She said
yes it did happen but then insisted that because
it was with someone on her previously disclosed
list that it didn't count. The revelation left
him stunned and hurt especially given his history.
I had been cheated on before in a relationship
years prior and it shattered my trust. What troubled
him even more was her attempt to justify the
moment as harmless. She told him it was just
making out and touching so it wasn't even that
bad. and argued that she wouldn't have been upset
if the roles were reversed. In that moment, he
made the decision to end the relationship. I
didn't know what to say, but I just ended it
there, believing she had been unfaithful to me
just to make out with a celebrity who didn't
actually even give a crap about her. Okay, so
a lot of the comments are talking about how this
is a good example and lesson for the guy to set
boundaries. for the girl because the girl obviously
said well it was on my list we agreed to if it's
on our list we can do it they were saying well
it was technically allowed on paper but emotionally
crossed a boundary. I think it's really weird
that she did choose someone local rather than
like a celebrity like Channing Tatum. I think
it's really sad that he was cheated on before.
Oh, I like this. Someone commented, a freebie
list with reachable people is asking for trouble.
I'm like, that is so true. I can't even imagine
dating someone and them being like freaking Susan
down the street. She's on my hall pass. It's
like, oh, okay. Like that's gonna be a no. so
that would be really wild to have your girlfriend
say something like that. I think he absolutely
did the right thing by saying peace out to her
and the fact that she didn't validate any of
his feelings after he was like clearly heartbroken
and like his trust was shattered. Being cheated
on doesn't just like hurt someone's feelings
like It literally, psychologically and emotionally
shifts that literally change how someone processes
relationships and trust. There was this therapist
that talked about how the brain treats infidelity
like trauma. Therapists often classify betrayal
trauma as a form of relational PTSD. Why? Because
the brain depends on attachment figures for safety.
So someone who's been cheated on may overthink,
scan for danger, have intrusive thoughts. be
hypersensitive to inconsistencies, panic when
something fills off even mildly. It's not insecurity,
it's a trauma response. It changes your cortisol
and adrenaline floods your body. The same hormonal
response as a physical threat, heart racing,
shaking, difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite,
obsessive thinking. This chemical storm can last
two weeks to months depending on support and
healing. your attachment system rewires. It's
not being dramatic. I have to say, if you have
cheated on someone in the past and you're listening
to this, you have literally changed that person.
And this is where Joe would come in and try and
like calm me down a little bit. But seriously,
it is the worst. I mean, obviously there's murder,
but it is one of the worst things you can do
to someone you love. The fact that this man was
cheated on before just is very interesting to
me that he did not want to make clear boundaries
when it came to this hall pass, especially when
the hall pass was doable because they were local.
Those types of rules cannot be fuzzy, so I hope
he has learned from this lesson and he makes
it damn sure for the next one that there are
clear, clear boundaries. Because then years later
he's not going on the internet asking, should
I not have broken up with her? It's like, bro.
Okay, so this one might be controversial and
I am curious to hear what you guys would say.
If Joe was here, I feel like he would definitely
give this person a lot of grace and I would not.
So this is off the subreddit, cheating stories.
My husband of five years has kissed another girl.
I am heartbroken. It is very out of character
for him and I never expected it. He is sorry
and wants to work on things. Can you change?
He was in a random bar far away from our hometown.
He kissed a random girl and has not had any contact
with this woman since. Icy Setting commented,
you need to give more context before people can
vote on that. Was he drunk? Did he know her?
Does he still have contact with her? Was it in
a bar with a stranger? Bubbly code. He was drunk.
He has never met the woman before. He has had
no contact since the kiss. There was nothing
but a kiss. And she said, I'm just scared it
will happen again. Oh, Sparkle and Shine commented.
How did you find out, OP? Just so you're aware,
we just kissed, as hands down one of the most
common lies a cheater tells their betrayed spouse.
So common, in fact, it's said to be straight
out of the cheater's playbook and is known as
trickle truth. Just a kiss ends up being, we
kissed and felt each other up. We kissed and
felt each other up, ends up, we kissed, felt
each other up, and did oral. We kissed, felt
each other up, and did oral, ends up, we kissed,
felt each other up, did oral, we're naked in
bed together and started to have PIV sex. Oh
my gosh. but I kind of go through with it, and
so on and so forth, you get the gist, I'm sure.
In the end, that it's just a kiss turns out to
actually have been full -blown sex with multiple
rounds. Here's the thing. Two grown -ass adults
that are sexually attracted to each other that
have time and proximity on their side don't just
kiss like a couple of inexperienced teenagers.
Especially so if they're drunk and their inhibitions
are lowered. They have sex and plenty of it.
You need to dig deeper, Oki. Wow. So that person
has obviously been betrayed because they have
been through the ringer. The trickle truth is
real. It is real, y 'all. Oh my gosh. Boy, is
it real. If you find something out that you're
like, huh, that's interesting. That sucks. That
hurts. Why did you do that? And they'll tell
you. They'll tell you something. But I am telling
you, it is not the full truth and you have to
dig. deeper y 'all get those detective glasses
on life is hard out here for women and men I
I know plenty of men that have been cheated on
and the trickle truth has been applied as well
to that okay and now our next story is number
three found out my wife wasn't working out at
the gym she was working out with someone else
I'm 33m and my wife is 31f married six years
no major issues at least and then I know about
about two months ago she got really into going
to the gym which was great She said it helped
her anxiety, gave her something to focus on.
She started going four to five days a week, mostly
in the evenings after work. I was actually really
proud of her. She'd come home happy and say that
her trainer worked her really hard today. This
trainer was apparently amazing. She talked about
him constantly, not in a weird way at first,
just like gym talk. One night, she forgot her
water bottle in my car and texted asking if I
could bring it. I was already near the gym running
errands, so I figured, sure, why not surprise
her. I pulled into the parking lot and immediately
noticed her car parked way in the back, nowhere
near the entrance. Weird, but whatever. The place
gets busy. I walk in, tell the guy at the front
desk I'm dropping off a water bottle for my wife.
He goes, oh, I don't think she's here today.
I haven't seen her. I'm confused because her
car is literally outside. He double checks. Nope,
she definitely hasn't checked in. I go back out,
walk around the building thinking maybe she's
outside somewhere cooling off. That's when I
see her. I decide to go towards her car and there
I see something happening in the backseat of
the car. Here she is making out with some dude
wearing a trainer shirt and not just a kiss,
like fully pressed up against him, hands all
over each other straddling him. I stood there
shocked long enough for them to notice me. She
jumped off of them like she had been electrocuted.
He backed away instantly like he was the one
caught cheating. She gets out of the car and
starts rambling. It's not what it looks like.
We were just talking. I didn't say anything.
I honestly couldn't. I just handed her the water
bottle and walked back to my car because I knew
if I opened my mouth, it'd be a huge scene. She
tried chasing after me, crying, swearing it was
just kissing and just emotional and she didn't
mean for it to go anywhere. Found out later this
had been going on for months. All those late
night workouts were actually them hooking up
in his car or hers. or inside the gym office
after hours. I moved into my brother's place
a week ago. We haven't talked since except through
text above those. The stupidest part, she still
goes to the same gym. That is terrible. That
is seriously so sad. There's a comment. She didn't
even check in at the gym. That says everything.
She wasn't even trying to hide it at that point.
And what's crazy is she literally said, can you
come bring my water bottle? Granted, she did
think. Would take him a while because she thought
he was home or wherever. I don't know, but she
obviously was not expecting him to be there right
away, but still Bro, how thirsty were you clearly
very thirsty? Oh gosh, another comment said my
ex to the same theme gym time was actually car
time with her trainer You're not alone dude.
It sucks, but you got out early. I don't know
if you got out, bro I'm pretty sure they were
married, right? So it's not like you really got
out of if it was just like you were dating. Yeah,
they've been married six years That's that's
a good amount of time It's crazy though because
there's like studies on it that people are more
likely to develop like romantic or such sexual
feelings towards someone who gives them focused
one -on -one attention Like encourages them compliments
their progress sees them regularly knows their
insecurities works with them in a private or
semi -private setting so Physical trainers obviously
hit all six of those criterias. You're sweaty,
vulnerable, working in your body, and they're
right there hyping you up. Oh, wow. So it creates
what psychologists call false intimacy, where
the client feels emotionally close because of
the environment, not because of an actual relationship.
This is the same phenomenon that happens with
therapists, physical therapists, massage therapists,
coaches, even hairdressers. Could definitely
see hairdressers being one of them for sure.
It is this like false intimacy when you are getting
your hair done male or female or whatever I Definitely
could see that you guys want to know something
crazy to why clients become attracted to trainers
based on psychology Studies show that endorphins
and physical exertion can mimic the feeling of
chemistry your brain literally misinterprets
the physical high as emotional attraction. That's
so crazy. This one's also really sad, but it's
why trainers sometimes cross boundaries because
they're in a power role. They control your workout,
your progress, your self -esteem, your physical
comfort, and it creates a dynamic similar to
a coach or mentor. It's so sad. I think it's
really great that the husband walked away. He
could have done a lot. more damage than that
and I think it was a good thing that he there's
like the fight or flight response and you definitely
was choosing the flight response and probably
a little bit of the disassociation as well thing
that one's really sad but so common it's just
crazy that that stuff happens all the freaking
time now we're gonna go on to story number four
the last story of this week's episode this is
from a subreddit infidelity wife caught having
an affair do I give her a chance My wife 42F,
we will call her Kay, of nine years was caught
having an affair by the girlfriend Sarah of the
guy Brian that Kay is cheating on me, Joe 46M
with. The Sarah contacted Kay and demanded answers.
Sarah threatened to expose the affair to me if
Kay didn't come clean. Kay told me about the
affair saying it was a one -time thing. Sarah
contacted me and we compared notes. Apparently
it's been building for weeks and they have met
at a hotel for sex and even have had sex at Brian
and Sarah's apartment. Meanwhile, Kay had concocted
elaborate stories to cover her affair. I blindly
trusted her because we have been married for
nine years and have two children under six years
old together. The last five years have been like
peeling an onion of lies, each time being told
that that's all there is until Sarah and I compare
notes and discover more truth. I am the majority
of financial support for the family, earning
about four times Kay's set small salary. Brian
and Kay are coworkers at a public hospital and
earn a small wage. Text messages reveal that
Brian has said he would take care of Kay whatever
that means. Kay wants a second chance and says
she messed up and is sorry. I asked for details
and she said they slept together three times
last Wednesday in a hotel then again Saturday
afternoon and evening at his apartment. My two
young boys will suffer the most from what's been
done. Sarah has posted things on social media
identifying my wife and the affair. I told Brian
via text to cease contacts with my wife. Everyone
involved including me worked from home. So it's
crazy that this could happen. My wife and I work
in rooms 10 feet apart. I've been so naive. How
do we deal with the fact that Kay and Brian work
together? It's a public hospital with zero tolerance
for sexual misconduct. Both would likely be fired
if people found out. How do I get through tomorrow?
I'm humiliated, angry, hurt, and devastated.
Kay wants to reconcile. Should I continue to
allow Kay to have access to my bank accounts?
I considered opening new accounts and moving
things out of her reach. I understand a divorce
will split things evenly in the end. But in the
meantime, she can try to live on her small income.
The ATM is closed. Edit. She recently began spending
more money than usual on her hair appointments,
color and styling, botox and waxing. She can't
afford any of those things, so I pay for them.
She even had me choose which pants made her butt
look the best before she went to his house. Sarah
and I have talked a lot the last few days, and
it's clear that AP and my wife were in a somewhat
serious relationship, not just a hookup. Sarah
and I have actually developed a bond in the midst
of the darkness. I'm helping her get on her feet
and get a place on her own I feel guilty for
what my wife did to her Sarah was looking forward
to having all the things I had with my wife like
kids and a family I am glad that I can help her
and we have become support for what each other
I know there'd be people out there that would
say like you can't just like financially take
everything away from that person even if they've
cheated But there's definitely something to say
about every person is going to react in a different
way when they have been betrayed. And definitely
one of the things he's doing is his nervous system
is like a protection mode. It's not just like
an emotional reaction. So to him, withholding
finances is definitely one of his ways to like,
protect himself. I think that's something that
is hard for people to understand without going
through intense therapy is the reconciliation
is different from relationship repair. When you
have betrayed someone and you just look at them
and say, I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again
and expect them to just fully trust and like
move on, it's not going to happen. There is a
lot of betrayal trauma on the other partners
and where that's not going to heal them whatsoever.
And it's also not going to heal the cheater either.
And they'll most likely do it again. Just because
you decide to stay together after something so
damaging to your relationship doesn't mean you
are going to make it through. There has to be
a sense of structured rebuilding of trust. which
would obviously, I believe, include couples therapy,
transparency, agreements, and definitely new
communication patterns. So anyways, that's where
we're landing today. A reminder that cheating
isn't always kind of like hotel rooms and dramatic
movie scenes. If you've ever been through betrayal,
you know how much it Fs up your nervous system,
your sense of safety. So whether you've been
the person hurt or the person healing, be gentle
with yourself. You are not crazy. you're reacting
to real trauma. I do want to know which one you
guys think was the fake. This one might be one
that you weren't expecting to be the fake, but
it is. So that's my little hint for you. And
I can't wait to hear what you guys have to say.
So follow us on Instagram, subscribe to our YouTube
channel, leave us a review on our podcast. We
are just so grateful for you guys. We never thought
in million years that we would have. podcast
that is growing so fast and it's been so exciting.
Christmas is coming so our next episode will
be Christmas themed and I'm really excited and
Joe will be here I promise. Anyways thank you
all and hope you have a great day!