WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.180 Welcome back to Internet Frenzy. Welcome back, 00:00:02.339 --> 00:00:05.019 baby. Happy to be here. Got a very special episode 00:00:05.019 --> 00:00:08.119 this week. Couple of guests. You want to introduce 00:00:08.119 --> 00:00:10.960 them? I do, because I love them so much. This 00:00:10.960 --> 00:00:13.599 is one of my BFFs. This is Kenna. Hi, guys. I'm 00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:16.980 Kenna. Yes, and then... This is Tanner. This 00:00:16.980 --> 00:00:20.120 is her hubby, and they are amazing. I actually 00:00:20.120 --> 00:00:22.359 knew both of them in high school, so we go way 00:00:22.359 --> 00:00:25.960 back, y 'all. We're kind of old now. Did you 00:00:25.960 --> 00:00:29.489 ever go to La Tenele? Absolutely not. Would anyone 00:00:29.489 --> 00:00:31.989 go to their 10 -year reunion in high school? 00:00:32.250 --> 00:00:35.329 Like honestly? I don't know. Did you go? I would 00:00:35.329 --> 00:00:38.049 have gone a hundred percent if I lived in the 00:00:38.049 --> 00:00:40.829 right state. Like it's just, it just gives me 00:00:40.829 --> 00:00:44.409 the ick. They cancelled mine because no one wanted 00:00:44.409 --> 00:00:47.909 to go. Really? They didn't get any school. Oh 00:00:47.909 --> 00:00:51.070 they cancelled it? I thought they did it. They 00:00:51.070 --> 00:00:53.409 rented out somewhere like in Caldwells and then 00:00:53.409 --> 00:00:55.590 they... said that there wasn't enough people 00:00:55.590 --> 00:00:57.549 and so they had to cancel it. You weren't you 00:00:57.549 --> 00:00:59.549 weren't balancing the glow ups and the glow downs, 00:00:59.710 --> 00:01:03.090 huh? Well, I'm one of the glow downs. So social 00:01:03.090 --> 00:01:05.590 media, I guess that's true. If we didn't have 00:01:05.590 --> 00:01:08.049 social media, maybe I'd be more curious. It would 00:01:08.049 --> 00:01:10.370 be interesting. Social media has killed off the 00:01:10.370 --> 00:01:13.329 elderly ones. That's so true. Social media just 00:01:13.329 --> 00:01:15.430 killed everything. Yeah, it really does. But 00:01:15.430 --> 00:01:19.409 follow us. Yeah. Yeah. Like, comment and subscribe. 00:01:19.510 --> 00:01:40.739 Thanks for being here. click no pretending we're 00:01:40.739 --> 00:01:43.359 so excited you guys are here and we cannot wait 00:01:43.359 --> 00:01:46.040 to tell you guys what the theme of this episode 00:01:46.040 --> 00:01:48.840 is i can't wait to hear are you ready for it 00:01:48.840 --> 00:01:51.379 literally can't wait with that cliffhanger it's 00:01:51.379 --> 00:01:54.540 crazy the theme for this week is wait so who's 00:01:54.540 --> 00:01:57.219 the a -hole okay i love this yes i love this 00:01:57.219 --> 00:02:00.819 one also we get a debate like Who the a -hole 00:02:00.819 --> 00:02:03.840 is yes of the story you just you just pick a 00:02:03.840 --> 00:02:06.260 side. Okay Well, I mean we're never gonna pick 00:02:06.260 --> 00:02:08.219 the same one, but we're gonna we're gonna picking 00:02:08.219 --> 00:02:11.759 a side That's all that matters, right? It's just 00:02:11.759 --> 00:02:14.000 it's literally us. We're the opposite and everything 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:15.780 I'm just scared. This is gonna be like a long 00:02:15.780 --> 00:02:18.479 quiet drive home Afterwards because we're probably 00:02:18.479 --> 00:02:21.080 gonna disagree on a few of them you might so 00:02:21.080 --> 00:02:23.139 sorry We'll pay for your next therapy session 00:02:23.139 --> 00:02:25.479 if we need to okay, great. Perfect Okay, but 00:02:25.479 --> 00:02:27.259 my first question before we get into the first 00:02:27.259 --> 00:02:29.219 story. Do you guys spend any time on reddit? 00:02:29.240 --> 00:02:32.500 I don't. That's good. I don't recommend it. I 00:02:32.500 --> 00:02:35.539 don't recommend it. It's seriously, you can spend 00:02:35.539 --> 00:02:37.979 so much time. There's so much lunacy on the Internet. 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:39.659 But one of the things I stumbled across when 00:02:39.659 --> 00:02:42.159 I was looking for stories comes from Ask Reddit. 00:02:42.319 --> 00:02:44.680 And the question is, what's the most disturbing 00:02:44.680 --> 00:02:46.819 secret you know about someone that would ruin 00:02:46.819 --> 00:02:50.139 their life if exposed, but you stay silent pretending 00:02:50.139 --> 00:02:52.780 you don't know. So when I read this, I was like, 00:02:52.840 --> 00:02:55.979 OK, I know she has some. She has stuff that she 00:02:55.979 --> 00:02:59.360 knows that I know by default. That like it would 00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:02.560 ruin people's lives legitimately and some of 00:03:02.560 --> 00:03:04.560 the comments are crazy So I'm gonna read some 00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:06.939 of the comments of what people know if you guys 00:03:06.939 --> 00:03:09.280 have anything you want to share feel free Yeah, 00:03:09.280 --> 00:03:11.219 obviously you don't have to like let the cat 00:03:11.219 --> 00:03:15.460 out of the bag like you have yeah now Well, I 00:03:15.460 --> 00:03:18.000 know this one person his name is so is that like 00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:20.639 I know Kevin like murdered his wife and buried 00:03:20.639 --> 00:03:23.860 her in the backyard It's but there is like there's 00:03:23.860 --> 00:03:26.139 some of that. So I'm gonna read one of the comments 00:03:26.139 --> 00:03:28.759 just like a little icebreaker You know from chemical 00:03:28.759 --> 00:03:32.860 demand 4928 says I know a guy and I can honestly 00:03:32.860 --> 00:03:35.659 say nicest guy I've ever met who over 40 years 00:03:35.659 --> 00:03:38.360 ago knew a woman He described her as the sister. 00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:42.199 He never had so guy a Knows a woman from a long 00:03:42.199 --> 00:03:44.960 time ago and she was violently beaten and raped 00:03:44.960 --> 00:03:47.400 by a mutual acquaintance She claimed didn't know 00:03:47.400 --> 00:03:50.020 who it was to the authorities and didn't pursue 00:03:50.020 --> 00:03:52.870 prosecution My friend was the only person that 00:03:52.870 --> 00:03:55.949 she confided in. He said he went to confront 00:03:55.949 --> 00:03:57.530 him with the intent of telling him he needed 00:03:57.530 --> 00:04:00.129 to turn himself in, or he would basically turn 00:04:00.129 --> 00:04:02.729 him in, only to have a guy tell him to F off, 00:04:03.009 --> 00:04:04.849 and that the girl had asked for what it was, 00:04:04.889 --> 00:04:08.949 she's a total SLUT, all that kind of stuff. He 00:04:08.949 --> 00:04:12.409 said something inside him snapped, and he literally 00:04:12.409 --> 00:04:14.969 beat the man to death with his bare hands. He 00:04:14.969 --> 00:04:17.680 said he is... He was never a suspect and police 00:04:17.680 --> 00:04:19.819 thought it was just a random incident. And when 00:04:19.819 --> 00:04:21.899 the girl asked him about it, he just told her 00:04:21.899 --> 00:04:23.839 that he wished it was him, but no, he didn't 00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:26.019 do it. He claims I'm the only one he's ever told 00:04:26.019 --> 00:04:29.019 about this, that he hardly thinks about it anymore. 00:04:29.199 --> 00:04:31.339 And, but when he does, he has zero regrets or 00:04:31.339 --> 00:04:35.079 remorse. Dude straight up murdered somebody. 00:04:35.360 --> 00:04:38.360 Wait a second. Do you know someone? No, I don't, 00:04:38.360 --> 00:04:43.600 but this reminds me of a little. That rings a 00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:47.250 bell. No, but like, spoiler alert, has anyone 00:04:47.250 --> 00:04:49.769 read, like, The Housemaid? The movie that's coming 00:04:49.769 --> 00:04:54.370 out? No. It's kind of like that. It's giving 00:04:54.370 --> 00:04:56.170 that a little bit, yeah, where it's like, it's 00:04:56.170 --> 00:04:58.389 like heinous crime over something that's like 00:04:58.389 --> 00:05:00.509 a little bit justified, you know? But you're 00:05:00.509 --> 00:05:03.050 also like, oh, like, I don't know. Do you think 00:05:03.050 --> 00:05:05.269 you could kill someone and not have remorse? 00:05:05.870 --> 00:05:08.310 There's no way. There's no way for me. Like, 00:05:08.569 --> 00:05:11.310 it doesn't, like, I feel, I have, like, dreams 00:05:11.310 --> 00:05:14.870 where, like, that happens and I, like, have this 00:05:14.870 --> 00:05:17.449 mad dreams that your mother no no no just something 00:05:17.449 --> 00:05:20.310 like laughing crazy just like your wife or or 00:05:20.310 --> 00:05:23.089 like yeah like maybe this needs to be cut out 00:05:23.089 --> 00:05:26.930 of the podcast but no but really it's just like 00:05:26.930 --> 00:05:30.449 the guilt that would come from that is like what 00:05:30.449 --> 00:05:32.250 if it was someone that like hurt your daughter 00:05:32.250 --> 00:05:35.410 though would you have remorse after that probably 00:05:35.410 --> 00:05:39.029 not yeah that was showing them like i think killing 00:05:39.029 --> 00:05:42.410 like Could you kill someone and go the rest of 00:05:42.410 --> 00:05:43.990 your life not thinking about that you took a 00:05:43.990 --> 00:05:47.389 life? It would be every single day. But like 00:05:47.389 --> 00:05:49.110 I watch some of these court shows, right? Are 00:05:49.110 --> 00:05:52.089 these like the crime shows, 2020, all this stuff? 00:05:52.269 --> 00:05:55.089 And it's like somebody's daughter. And then the 00:05:55.089 --> 00:05:57.449 family is like face to face with the killer in 00:05:57.449 --> 00:06:00.230 the courtroom. Like, what would I do, dude? I 00:06:00.230 --> 00:06:02.949 would be like lunging over the thing. Like I 00:06:02.949 --> 00:06:05.160 just. I don't know how you'd show any restraint, 00:06:05.660 --> 00:06:07.800 but it's a valid point. If you were to do something 00:06:07.800 --> 00:06:09.660 like that, you're going to like think about it 00:06:09.660 --> 00:06:11.339 every single day for the rest of your life. I 00:06:11.339 --> 00:06:15.560 would. Yeah. That's wild story. That's insane. 00:06:16.279 --> 00:06:19.180 With his bare hands and the guys like was never 00:06:19.180 --> 00:06:21.899 a suspect. Look at these knuckles, but I'm not 00:06:21.899 --> 00:06:24.379 a suspect. Yeah. Yeah. It's like scarred over. 00:06:24.660 --> 00:06:27.339 Yeah. Just destroyed this dude. This person says 00:06:27.339 --> 00:06:30.439 my coworkers entire degree is fake. He photoshopped 00:06:30.439 --> 00:06:33.100 the diploma and no one has ever checked. No. 00:06:33.990 --> 00:06:36.550 That's crazy job. Did you go to jail for something 00:06:36.550 --> 00:06:39.389 like that? Cuz I'm pretty good I was like, can 00:06:39.389 --> 00:06:41.949 you do that for me? I'll give you your law degree. 00:06:41.949 --> 00:06:45.930 No. Yeah, just like somehow make it like high 00:06:45.930 --> 00:06:48.470 LSAT scores Yeah, you let's take off three years. 00:06:48.470 --> 00:06:51.310 That's perfect. That's I I don't know if it's 00:06:51.310 --> 00:06:58.689 I mean, well Yeah, well if it's like a minimum 00:06:58.689 --> 00:07:01.509 requirement for like for example like law like 00:07:01.509 --> 00:07:04.420 you have to pass the bar exam to to practice 00:07:04.420 --> 00:07:07.139 like that would be illegal. If you're just faking 00:07:07.139 --> 00:07:09.360 a bachelor's degree, it's like a minimum requirement 00:07:09.360 --> 00:07:11.720 to work in like business management. Yeah. It's 00:07:11.720 --> 00:07:13.240 like that's probably you're probably not going 00:07:13.240 --> 00:07:14.759 to get like a fraud charge where you would just 00:07:14.759 --> 00:07:17.899 get fired. All right. That'd be my guess. You're 00:07:17.899 --> 00:07:20.040 done. Let's get into the stories. Okay. This 00:07:20.040 --> 00:07:22.879 one comes from best of Redditor updates. Am I 00:07:22.879 --> 00:07:25.300 the a -hole for telling my fiance we should call 00:07:25.300 --> 00:07:27.480 the wedding off if she doesn't approve of my 00:07:27.480 --> 00:07:31.639 female best man? This guy wants his best man 00:07:31.639 --> 00:07:34.300 to be his best friend that's girl yeah the hot 00:07:34.300 --> 00:07:37.319 best friend that's like everyone like the the 00:07:37.319 --> 00:07:39.500 one you shouldn't worry about that always ends 00:07:39.500 --> 00:07:41.680 up being the one that you should have worried 00:07:41.680 --> 00:07:44.860 about yes you know all right not enough context 00:07:44.860 --> 00:07:48.100 yeah because in the end it's like hey you're 00:07:48.100 --> 00:07:50.220 doing the right thing by at least establishing 00:07:50.220 --> 00:07:54.060 establishing this yes before marriage if there's 00:07:54.060 --> 00:07:57.319 going to be one red flag or person on the radar 00:07:57.319 --> 00:08:00.860 for the wife it would 100 be the hot best friend 00:08:00.860 --> 00:08:03.029 we don't yeah we don't know enough no yeah we 00:08:03.029 --> 00:08:05.430 don't know that was only the title but oh oh 00:08:05.430 --> 00:08:07.850 there's more oh that's all you're gonna read 00:08:07.850 --> 00:08:12.089 there oh sorry i thought that was this yeah i 00:08:12.089 --> 00:08:14.550 was ready i was ready you guys you guys staying 00:08:14.550 --> 00:08:18.290 ready no i love it i love it so there's an original 00:08:18.290 --> 00:08:21.069 post and then there's an update okay says throw 00:08:21.069 --> 00:08:22.970 away because i don't want people seeing my personal 00:08:22.970 --> 00:08:26.329 shiz on my main account i 28 am proposed to my 00:08:26.329 --> 00:08:30.230 girlfriend jasmine 24f in march earlier that's 00:08:30.230 --> 00:08:33.259 her name It's fine, his name's Aladdin. Earlier 00:08:33.259 --> 00:08:35.940 this week, she and I were talking about wedding 00:08:35.940 --> 00:08:37.879 plans and she already picked out who her bridesmaids 00:08:37.879 --> 00:08:40.159 were gonna be and was questioning me about my 00:08:40.159 --> 00:08:41.940 groomsmen to see who'd walk with who and all 00:08:41.940 --> 00:08:44.649 that. I told her I wanted to let her know that 00:08:44.649 --> 00:08:46.950 my best man was actually gonna be my friend Kate, 00:08:47.149 --> 00:08:50.929 27F. Jasmine kind of freaked and was really adamant 00:08:50.929 --> 00:08:53.529 about her not being the BM. I asked her why and 00:08:53.529 --> 00:08:55.350 she listed off a lot of reasons, none of which 00:08:55.350 --> 00:08:57.950 I believe. She said it'll look weird in the photos, 00:08:58.029 --> 00:08:59.990 it'll be weird when Kate has to walk down the 00:08:59.990 --> 00:09:01.789 aisle with her maid of honor, that she doesn't 00:09:01.789 --> 00:09:04.669 want Kate to be distracting the guests, that 00:09:04.669 --> 00:09:08.679 Kate's too short, WTF. To stand next to a bunch 00:09:08.679 --> 00:09:11.080 of six foot tall guys the reasons were ridiculous 00:09:11.080 --> 00:09:13.700 and I told her as much She told me I should respect 00:09:13.700 --> 00:09:15.799 her wishes for the wedding and gave me suggestions 00:09:15.799 --> 00:09:18.559 for other best men I know the real reason might 00:09:18.559 --> 00:09:20.779 be jealousy, but I don't want to just drop it 00:09:20.779 --> 00:09:23.700 and go along with her insecurities We ended up 00:09:23.700 --> 00:09:26.019 getting into a big argument Jazz was upset that 00:09:26.019 --> 00:09:28.500 I wasn't budging on my stance, and I was mad 00:09:28.500 --> 00:09:31.440 she was acting so irrational. She was being really 00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:33.779 accusatory about why I wanted Kate in the wedding 00:09:33.779 --> 00:09:36.340 so bad. I finally told her if she doesn't want 00:09:36.340 --> 00:09:38.940 to let me have this one thing, maybe there shouldn't 00:09:38.940 --> 00:09:41.559 be a wedding at all. She got really angry and 00:09:41.559 --> 00:09:43.720 told me to just leave our apartment. I've been 00:09:43.720 --> 00:09:45.559 couch surfing at a friend's for the past couple 00:09:45.559 --> 00:09:48.700 days. In parentheses, not Kate's. Last time I 00:09:48.700 --> 00:09:52.440 tried to talk to Jazz. Just to be clear. Last 00:09:52.440 --> 00:09:54.360 time I tried to talk to Josh she asked if I was 00:09:54.360 --> 00:09:56.960 ready to apologize, and I said no because I don't 00:09:56.960 --> 00:10:00.820 want her That'll be a lifelong thing good start 00:10:00.820 --> 00:10:04.440 Because I didn't want her to think that she was 00:10:04.440 --> 00:10:06.299 right about forbidding me from letting Kate be 00:10:06.299 --> 00:10:10.399 in the wedding and before anyone asks No, Kate, 00:10:10.419 --> 00:10:12.700 and I have never been sexual or romantic She's 00:10:12.700 --> 00:10:14.500 been one of my closest friends and introduced 00:10:14.500 --> 00:10:17.279 me to my current social circle I used to be an 00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:19.220 awkward nerdy guy who had trouble making friends 00:10:19.220 --> 00:10:21.139 now. I'm an awkward nerdy guy with the social 00:10:21.139 --> 00:10:23.480 life We survived grad school together and she's 00:10:23.480 --> 00:10:25.220 been with me through high and low parts of life 00:10:25.220 --> 00:10:27.080 and it seems insane to not include her in my 00:10:27.080 --> 00:10:29.460 wedding. Jazz and Kate know each other but aren't 00:10:29.460 --> 00:10:31.659 friends and over time Jazz got used to me having 00:10:31.659 --> 00:10:34.879 a close female friend without being jealous slash 00:10:34.879 --> 00:10:37.820 mistrusting or so I thought. Am I be a hole? 00:10:38.580 --> 00:10:43.159 Yes you are. Kate can sit down with the rest 00:10:43.159 --> 00:10:47.169 of the crew for the ceremony. bridesmaid if she 00:10:47.169 --> 00:10:51.289 has to be in the party I just the best man is 00:10:51.289 --> 00:10:54.309 I don't know it's reaching best man like that's 00:10:54.309 --> 00:10:58.309 him trying to make a statement like this is my 00:10:58.309 --> 00:11:02.429 best friend forever this is my girl like no bro 00:11:02.429 --> 00:11:06.409 yeah you got a new one and you got guys you got 00:11:06.409 --> 00:11:11.730 bros so I think he is the a -hole and he's to 00:11:11.730 --> 00:11:18.879 get over it This is an impossible argument for 00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:21.820 us to make, I feel like. I don't think that it's 00:11:21.820 --> 00:11:25.279 necessarily right, but I also, there's a line 00:11:25.279 --> 00:11:27.480 somewhere. What were you gonna say? No, I just, 00:11:27.679 --> 00:11:32.340 I don't know. Well, like, so there's principles 00:11:32.340 --> 00:11:34.220 to it. For example, like, okay, this dude's getting 00:11:34.220 --> 00:11:36.240 married. Now the number one girl in his life 00:11:36.240 --> 00:11:38.019 is gonna be his wife. Okay, so it's not gonna 00:11:38.019 --> 00:11:40.929 be this gay girl. But I have to say, but the 00:11:40.929 --> 00:11:43.750 question is whether or not, like, that it's inappropriate 00:11:43.750 --> 00:11:46.009 to have that relationship. It's who's being an 00:11:46.009 --> 00:11:48.110 a -hole in this situation of the whole marriage 00:11:48.110 --> 00:11:52.309 thing. Is she being an a -hole for being too 00:11:52.309 --> 00:11:55.009 overbearing about the wedding and all of, but 00:11:55.009 --> 00:11:57.350 at the same time, I would get, like, I understand 00:11:57.350 --> 00:12:00.470 that's weird. Like, that's, certain things are 00:12:00.470 --> 00:12:02.950 gonna be weird. I think ultimately, like, to 00:12:02.950 --> 00:12:05.350 me, her saying, like, it'd look weird having... 00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:08.500 like the maid of honor and the best man like 00:12:08.500 --> 00:12:10.620 walking together. To me, I feel like that was 00:12:10.620 --> 00:12:13.960 kind of like a stupid remark. I think it's more 00:12:13.960 --> 00:12:16.679 about the statement he's trying to make of being 00:12:16.679 --> 00:12:19.740 like, this is my best man. No, Kate has to be 00:12:19.740 --> 00:12:22.279 it. That would feel threatening. I feel like 00:12:22.279 --> 00:12:25.960 as the woman being like, wait, why like that? 00:12:26.759 --> 00:12:30.000 Just to have her literally like, she can just 00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:32.399 be at the wedding. She does not need to be standing 00:12:32.399 --> 00:12:37.669 up here. But here's another. Here's another simple 00:12:37.669 --> 00:12:40.669 here's another simple here's the reality make 00:12:40.669 --> 00:12:44.590 it super simple if the Bride was coming and saying 00:12:44.590 --> 00:12:47.110 that she wants her maid of honor to be another 00:12:47.110 --> 00:12:50.610 dude with this guy Yeah, would this guy be okay 00:12:50.610 --> 00:12:54.370 with that? Probably not unless he was gay that 00:12:54.370 --> 00:12:59.500 I was gonna say This is the exact point that 00:12:59.500 --> 00:13:02.940 I was gonna make. That's the exact point that 00:13:02.940 --> 00:13:05.000 I was gonna make. If she had a gay best friend, 00:13:05.220 --> 00:13:07.860 and she wanted to make the gay best friend the 00:13:07.860 --> 00:13:11.860 maid of honor, or whatever the appropriate term 00:13:11.860 --> 00:13:15.360 is, I guarantee you that the guy would be like, 00:13:15.480 --> 00:13:19.299 okay, like that's fine, because it's not threatening. 00:13:19.759 --> 00:13:23.139 The whole, like the fact that Kate and the groom 00:13:23.139 --> 00:13:26.590 are straight, Hetero whatever like it's it would 00:13:26.590 --> 00:13:28.169 feel threatening I don't think there's any way 00:13:28.169 --> 00:13:29.610 around the fact that like there would always 00:13:29.610 --> 00:13:32.009 be a little bit of a question there And it's 00:13:32.009 --> 00:13:34.490 it'd just be real like a real challenge of like 00:13:34.490 --> 00:13:37.870 modern relationships to to put more trust like 00:13:37.870 --> 00:13:40.169 yeah It's totally fine like there's nothing ever 00:13:40.169 --> 00:13:43.590 going on there. There is an update. He added 00:13:43.590 --> 00:13:45.750 a couple of edits I'm not gonna waste the time 00:13:45.750 --> 00:13:47.389 on but just a couple of things that are important 00:13:47.389 --> 00:13:50.309 to know about Kate So first of all, no short 00:13:50.309 --> 00:13:52.940 Kate is not single Jazz and Kate are friendly, 00:13:53.019 --> 00:13:54.860 but they aren't friends. I'm not very close to 00:13:54.860 --> 00:13:56.679 any of Jazz's friends either, so they kind of 00:13:56.679 --> 00:13:59.360 have those separate lives, friendships, whatever. 00:13:59.940 --> 00:14:01.679 Kate and I have known each other for almost seven 00:14:01.679 --> 00:14:04.159 years. I've been with Jazz for two. I'm not attracted 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:06.120 to Kate and we're not going to run off into the 00:14:06.120 --> 00:14:08.759 sunset together. Stop watching bad rom -coms. 00:14:09.059 --> 00:14:11.100 It's 2020. Sorry, this is a couple years old. 00:14:11.419 --> 00:14:13.139 I can be friends with the woman without wanting 00:14:13.139 --> 00:14:15.970 to sleep with her. I'm not choosing another woman 00:14:15.970 --> 00:14:18.470 over Jazz. If Kate were a man and Jazz didn't 00:14:18.470 --> 00:14:20.210 want him in the wedding, I'd have a right to 00:14:20.210 --> 00:14:22.450 be pissed. But since Kate's a woman, suddenly 00:14:22.450 --> 00:14:25.350 I don't love my fiance enough? That's BS. Oh, 00:14:25.350 --> 00:14:27.750 and if you've implied that I'm gonna have an 00:14:27.750 --> 00:14:30.309 affair slash have already cheated, F off. Wow, 00:14:30.450 --> 00:14:34.830 someone's defensive. Driving his point home. 00:14:34.970 --> 00:14:37.009 You have to be defensive to the internet. Oh, 00:14:37.070 --> 00:14:39.389 yeah. Yeah, that's true. Dude, you're banging 00:14:39.389 --> 00:14:42.490 her. Like, just be honest. You love Kate. Just 00:14:42.490 --> 00:14:45.639 marry Kate. That's his little preface and then 00:14:45.639 --> 00:14:53.320 74 days later is the final update. Oh gosh So 00:14:53.320 --> 00:14:55.639 the TLDR is I have a friend Kate and I wanted 00:14:55.639 --> 00:14:58.000 her to be the best man in my wedding my fiance 00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:00.200 Disapproved when we got into a fight about it 00:15:00.200 --> 00:15:02.720 my fiance and I ended up making up and reconciling 00:15:02.720 --> 00:15:04.860 a few days later We were talking compromises 00:15:04.860 --> 00:15:06.700 and it was still a touchy subject, but I thought 00:15:06.700 --> 00:15:08.840 it was going good and we'd recover I wish I could 00:15:08.840 --> 00:15:13.470 leave it at that She's now my ex -fiance A little 00:15:13.470 --> 00:15:15.950 over two weeks after our fight, a friend of Jaz 00:15:15.950 --> 00:15:18.690 contacted me. She told me Jasmine had been venting 00:15:18.690 --> 00:15:20.789 to her friends over the Kate situation and she 00:15:20.789 --> 00:15:23.090 couldn't keep quiet any longer because it wasn't 00:15:23.090 --> 00:15:25.809 fair to me. This friend sent me messages between 00:15:25.809 --> 00:15:28.240 Jasmine and them. where Jasmine is essentially 00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:30.580 talking about not trusting me and Kate and saying 00:15:30.580 --> 00:15:32.879 some pretty derogatory things about her. If that 00:15:32.879 --> 00:15:35.700 was it, I'd be angry but not furious. But long 00:15:35.700 --> 00:15:37.779 story short, the conversation turns into some 00:15:37.779 --> 00:15:40.500 confusing conversation I didn't have much context 00:15:40.500 --> 00:15:42.820 for, but I got the gist. The friend that sent 00:15:42.820 --> 00:15:44.919 me the messages filled me in with what she knew. 00:15:45.279 --> 00:15:47.320 Basically, Jazz had had an affair before we got 00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:49.960 engaged. It had allegedly been just one time 00:15:49.960 --> 00:15:51.879 with some guy she doesn't talk to anymore, but 00:15:51.879 --> 00:15:54.179 I don't know what to believe. Based on the messages, 00:15:54.299 --> 00:15:56.120 it seems like that was the case. Apparently, 00:15:56.200 --> 00:15:58.059 all of her friends knew about this and I was 00:15:58.059 --> 00:15:59.980 being played the whole time. I talked to Jazz 00:15:59.980 --> 00:16:01.919 and she denied it, but I told her I didn't care, 00:16:01.940 --> 00:16:03.879 she needed to leave. She was throwing a fit and 00:16:03.879 --> 00:16:06.159 refused to, so I left my own home again because 00:16:06.159 --> 00:16:08.299 of her. I told her I'd tell everyone what she 00:16:08.299 --> 00:16:10.580 did if she didn't pack up her shit and go by 00:16:10.580 --> 00:16:13.000 the time I returned. It worked. Two days later, 00:16:13.000 --> 00:16:15.419 I came back and she was gone. She tried contacting 00:16:15.419 --> 00:16:18.100 me to set things right, but I'm interested she 00:16:18.100 --> 00:16:19.860 can keep the ring for all I care at this point 00:16:19.860 --> 00:16:22.059 I just don't want to see her yet I felt so stupid 00:16:22.059 --> 00:16:24.100 and worthless and embarrassed I didn't tell anyone 00:16:24.100 --> 00:16:26.379 the reason we broke it off no idea what jazz 00:16:26.379 --> 00:16:28.659 is telling people and I don't care the past month 00:16:28.659 --> 00:16:30.980 and a half has been a nightmare But I've been 00:16:30.980 --> 00:16:32.899 slowly recovering my pride and I'm trying to 00:16:32.899 --> 00:16:34.879 convince myself what she did was her own fault, 00:16:34.919 --> 00:16:37.340 not mine. It works about half the time. Because 00:16:37.340 --> 00:16:39.620 I know some of you are going to ask because you 00:16:39.620 --> 00:16:42.340 think this is some shitty effing rom -com, I 00:16:42.340 --> 00:16:44.519 didn't go running to Kate. I've hardly spoken 00:16:44.519 --> 00:16:47.259 to her or anyone else for a while now. I've been 00:16:47.259 --> 00:16:49.559 enjoying quarantine and being left alone. That's 00:16:49.559 --> 00:16:52.379 my final update on the situation. Those of you 00:16:52.379 --> 00:16:54.179 who said Jazz was being paranoid because she 00:16:54.179 --> 00:16:55.940 had something to hide can go pat yourselves on 00:16:55.940 --> 00:16:58.809 the back. Interesting. That took a turn. Yeah, 00:16:58.870 --> 00:17:05.309 that did. I think Kate's zay -hole in this whole 00:17:05.309 --> 00:17:09.430 story, honestly. She didn't even know. She never 00:17:09.430 --> 00:17:13.430 even got the invite. Wow. Well, I still think 00:17:13.430 --> 00:17:19.549 he's zay -hole. Clearly he was doing something 00:17:19.549 --> 00:17:22.789 wrong, which is why Jasmine cheated on him. It's 00:17:22.789 --> 00:17:26.089 always like... She was probably super toxic. 00:17:26.250 --> 00:17:30.130 Yeah, he deserved it. No doubt. There's no break 00:17:30.130 --> 00:17:35.190 here. And that was before they were engaged. 00:17:35.309 --> 00:17:38.109 They were still dating, but before they got engaged. 00:17:38.369 --> 00:17:41.130 So this is my story. Am I the asshole for calling 00:17:41.130 --> 00:17:44.230 out a coworker at happy hour, but maybe overreacting. 00:17:44.509 --> 00:17:46.809 So last Friday, our team went to a casual happy 00:17:46.809 --> 00:17:49.579 hour. Drinks, snacks, the usual. Everything was 00:17:49.579 --> 00:17:52.339 chill until Jenna, a coworker, decided it was 00:17:52.339 --> 00:17:54.779 open season for embarrassing stories. First, 00:17:54.799 --> 00:17:56.940 she made fun of me for always microwaving fish 00:17:56.940 --> 00:17:59.720 at my desk. Yes, it stinks, but I own it. Then 00:17:59.720 --> 00:18:02.079 she started on my habit of replying to every 00:18:02.079 --> 00:18:04.519 email at 3am because I can't sleep, which is 00:18:04.519 --> 00:18:06.500 technically true, but not exactly something I 00:18:06.500 --> 00:18:08.740 want broadcasted. I tried to laugh it off, but 00:18:08.740 --> 00:18:11.099 then she launched into this story about a presentation 00:18:11.099 --> 00:18:13.960 I messed up last month, exaggerating every detail 00:18:13.960 --> 00:18:16.259 and mimicking me while the bartender poured drinks. 00:18:16.440 --> 00:18:18.569 That's when I lost it and said loud enough for 00:18:18.569 --> 00:18:21.569 half the bar to hear okay stop turning my failures 00:18:21.569 --> 00:18:25.009 into a comedy show everyone froze jenna was fuming 00:18:25.009 --> 00:18:26.910 some co -workers whispered i could have handled 00:18:26.910 --> 00:18:29.529 it privately others were quietly nodding at me 00:18:29.529 --> 00:18:32.230 now jenna is giving me the cold shoulder i feel 00:18:32.230 --> 00:18:34.230 a bit bad for yelling and the rest of the office 00:18:34.230 --> 00:18:36.630 is awkwardly split between gossiping and pretending 00:18:36.630 --> 00:18:40.069 nothing happened am i the a -hole jenna sucks 00:18:40.069 --> 00:18:43.809 yeah i don't like jenna jenna sucks the type 00:18:43.809 --> 00:18:46.839 of person that just gets off on like Roasting 00:18:46.839 --> 00:18:49.759 other people like I hate that in a group setting 00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:53.140 and you're gonna be like, oh, yeah What did she 00:18:53.140 --> 00:18:55.980 say replying to emails at 3 a .m? Yeah, but you 00:18:55.980 --> 00:18:59.579 can't sleep at night. You're a loser Jenna like 00:18:59.579 --> 00:19:01.819 when I read this I was like Kate Jenna, you're 00:19:01.819 --> 00:19:04.000 not even like a good boy. You kind of suck at 00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:06.759 this Like you're kind of a loser, but now I'm 00:19:06.759 --> 00:19:08.940 bullying Jenna and it was what she was mocking 00:19:08.940 --> 00:19:11.319 the way that she gave a presentation Yeah, that 00:19:11.319 --> 00:19:14.359 would really affect me. Like that would make 00:19:14.359 --> 00:19:16.930 me feel because i already have like anxiety and 00:19:16.930 --> 00:19:18.430 stuff with like speaking in front of a lot of 00:19:18.430 --> 00:19:22.190 people so to be made fun of for that that would 00:19:22.190 --> 00:19:24.990 suck how do you even like i can't even fathom 00:19:24.990 --> 00:19:27.170 trying to make fun of somebody like giving a 00:19:27.170 --> 00:19:29.250 presentation yeah the way you pointed was so 00:19:29.250 --> 00:19:34.130 dumb yeah i don't know how you do that hit a 00:19:34.130 --> 00:19:38.789 real job i i'm just imagining how socially awkward 00:19:38.789 --> 00:19:41.890 the poster is too that's like i know can't control 00:19:41.890 --> 00:19:45.750 and just like i hate you jenna you suck They're 00:19:45.750 --> 00:19:48.509 like in the bar like well what she said too was 00:19:48.509 --> 00:19:51.230 like what did she say like it's not even I was 00:19:51.230 --> 00:19:54.250 expecting like something way more It was really 00:19:54.250 --> 00:19:57.329 weird. Okay, stop turning my failures into a 00:19:57.329 --> 00:20:01.589 comedy show Like I just feel like this is to 00:20:01.589 --> 00:20:04.309 like 18 year olds, you know, like there's no 00:20:04.309 --> 00:20:08.190 way this is These are people who work at like 00:20:08.920 --> 00:20:11.819 Crumble cookie, you know, yeah and like oh, I 00:20:11.819 --> 00:20:14.579 guess she probably thought she ate with that 00:20:14.579 --> 00:20:17.380 comment like that Look, I was too bad. I can 00:20:17.380 --> 00:20:21.839 buy the asshole Now you asked her to stop doing 00:20:21.839 --> 00:20:25.339 something that was rude All right from best of 00:20:25.339 --> 00:20:28.980 Redditor updates. This one is a doozy I'm ready. 00:20:28.980 --> 00:20:31.880 Am I the a -hole for allowing my husband's mistress 00:20:31.880 --> 00:20:35.339 to meal prep for him and the kids? My husband 00:20:35.339 --> 00:20:37.259 has been cheating on me for years with different 00:20:37.259 --> 00:20:39.660 women. Due to this, I've completely shut off 00:20:39.660 --> 00:20:41.579 from him. We don't have a sexual relationship, 00:20:41.660 --> 00:20:44.019 but we do an amazing job at being parents. Our 00:20:44.019 --> 00:20:45.980 kids love us and that's all that matters in the 00:20:45.980 --> 00:20:48.019 grand scheme of things. I am not dating anyone. 00:20:48.180 --> 00:20:50.500 This isn't an open relationship. Every time he 00:20:50.500 --> 00:20:53.119 cheats he acts more remorseful, but I've come 00:20:53.119 --> 00:20:55.400 to terms that I can't save him. He's seeing this 00:20:55.400 --> 00:20:58.789 woman, Cherry, and she's a cook and baker. Mother 00:20:58.789 --> 00:21:03.009 Teresa and a porn star Yeah, and a stripper. 00:21:03.250 --> 00:21:05.289 Yeah, we were in the little tussle once but that's 00:21:05.289 --> 00:21:07.740 in the past. I've moved on I don't like her but 00:21:07.740 --> 00:21:10.000 I don't hate her. Few weeks back I caught him 00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:12.420 eating in his car and I realized it was from 00:21:12.420 --> 00:21:14.960 her. The packaging gave him away. She's been 00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:17.960 sending him goodie bags and now full meals. I 00:21:17.960 --> 00:21:19.619 told him going forward I'm no longer cooking 00:21:19.619 --> 00:21:21.759 for him and he needs to let her do everything 00:21:21.759 --> 00:21:24.319 including meals for the kids. I really put my 00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:26.220 foot down and did some petty things that I'm 00:21:26.220 --> 00:21:28.460 not proud of but it worked. I told him if she 00:21:28.460 --> 00:21:30.920 loves him she will do it but I'm done. Well I 00:21:30.920 --> 00:21:32.950 don't know what he did to convince her. but at 00:21:32.950 --> 00:21:34.910 least three times a week they get meals from 00:21:34.910 --> 00:21:37.250 Cherry. He brings the container and plates the 00:21:37.250 --> 00:21:39.450 food. The kids are happy because they think they're 00:21:39.450 --> 00:21:42.069 getting takeout. I don't partake. On the other 00:21:42.069 --> 00:21:44.250 days I cook for just the kids and myself. My 00:21:44.250 --> 00:21:46.369 husband on the other hand got mad and said I 00:21:46.369 --> 00:21:48.730 manipulated him into taking advantage of Cherry 00:21:48.730 --> 00:21:52.009 and kept asking me what do I get out of these 00:21:52.009 --> 00:21:54.710 mind games? I told my best friend about the whole 00:21:54.710 --> 00:21:56.910 ordeal and she's upset with me saying that what 00:21:56.910 --> 00:21:59.509 if Cherry spikes the kids meals? I don't think 00:21:59.509 --> 00:22:01.509 she would do it. Am I the a -hole for letting 00:22:01.509 --> 00:22:03.730 this happen? The only thing she did wrong is 00:22:03.730 --> 00:22:06.069 like you need to have cherry make your meals. 00:22:06.690 --> 00:22:10.730 Yeah, that's the only thing she did wrong Okay, 00:22:10.829 --> 00:22:13.049 here's the thing though. Imagine the only part 00:22:13.049 --> 00:22:16.539 where I felt sad on the wife's part is imagine 00:22:16.539 --> 00:22:19.000 as a child, you growing up and you're in therapy 00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:22.099 and you find out or whatever, your father's affair 00:22:22.099 --> 00:22:23.900 partner was making you meals and you thought 00:22:23.900 --> 00:22:25.839 they were takeout. I feel like that would kind 00:22:25.839 --> 00:22:28.420 of mess with me. Yeah, that's not good. Yeah. 00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:30.579 I mean, I don't know. Maybe maybe I'm cynical. 00:22:30.819 --> 00:22:33.440 I feel like that's like, OK, whatever. It's how 00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:36.200 about the fact that your dad was having an affair? 00:22:36.200 --> 00:22:38.420 Yeah. Like, yeah, that'd be a little detail. 00:22:38.420 --> 00:22:40.660 That's a little bit more. That's a little bit 00:22:40.660 --> 00:22:45.690 more important than like. She's the one that 00:22:45.690 --> 00:22:49.230 made those cherry pisles are so good. Oh That 00:22:49.230 --> 00:22:55.069 was cherry How do you stay married that's what 00:22:55.069 --> 00:22:57.230 I don't understand he's willingly stepping out 00:22:57.230 --> 00:22:59.589 That's where I think she went wrong and she's 00:22:59.589 --> 00:23:01.750 like, yeah, we're great co -parents. I don't 00:23:01.750 --> 00:23:04.519 date anyone The only thing I could think of is 00:23:04.519 --> 00:23:06.720 like he they financially are like stable and 00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:09.619 she feels like secure in that you might be on 00:23:09.619 --> 00:23:11.680 to something I will I immediately knew it was 00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:13.779 money the second I heard the mistress name was 00:23:13.779 --> 00:23:16.740 cherry and then also She's staying you ready 00:23:16.740 --> 00:23:19.660 for this ready. There's there's a million comments 00:23:19.660 --> 00:23:21.880 of her like replying to different comments I'm 00:23:21.880 --> 00:23:24.940 not gonna read them all but her update this comes 00:23:24.940 --> 00:23:28.079 ten months after the original post and this Was 00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:31.529 posted the update was posted on August 21st So 00:23:31.529 --> 00:23:34.170 what was that two days ago? Oh what? So this 00:23:34.170 --> 00:23:36.529 is like ongoing currently. She says I cheated 00:23:36.529 --> 00:23:39.589 on my husband and he caught us. Was sick and 00:23:39.589 --> 00:23:42.089 tired of feeling unloved and unwanted I was sick 00:23:42.089 --> 00:23:44.289 of being a doormat and taking him back every 00:23:44.289 --> 00:23:46.809 single effing time I don't know how I feel right 00:23:46.809 --> 00:23:49.269 now, but I know it's not regret or shame. It's 00:23:49.269 --> 00:23:51.950 something else I invited a guy been talking to 00:23:51.950 --> 00:23:54.509 over at the house I knew my husband was coming 00:23:54.509 --> 00:23:57.470 home at 5 and I still went through with it keeping 00:23:57.470 --> 00:23:59.670 personal things personal He saw everything and 00:23:59.670 --> 00:24:02.230 I mean everything and hurt as well I have to 00:24:02.230 --> 00:24:04.789 face the reality of my situation. I'm not shocked 00:24:04.789 --> 00:24:08.190 he's hurt. That was my intention, but the hypocrisy 00:24:08.190 --> 00:24:11.069 is astonishing. He's been crying the entire night. 00:24:11.150 --> 00:24:13.849 I've cried for years. Somehow I am the scum, 00:24:14.009 --> 00:24:16.569 not him. After he's been playing house with this 00:24:16.569 --> 00:24:19.490 woman and having dinner by her house, it's 12 00:24:19.490 --> 00:24:21.349 a .m. right now and all I can say is that I'm 00:24:21.349 --> 00:24:23.529 lucky my husband and the guy didn't trash it 00:24:23.529 --> 00:24:26.490 out. It was incredibly awkward. My mind is racing. 00:24:26.609 --> 00:24:29.210 I feel a bit scared, empowered and uncertain. 00:24:29.750 --> 00:24:32.329 I haven't been steady in ages." She posts the 00:24:32.329 --> 00:24:34.970 second update the same day. Any thoughts? She 00:24:34.970 --> 00:24:37.930 literally planned. She planned to have her husband 00:24:37.930 --> 00:24:41.369 walk in. I feel like I can't talk ever for her. 00:24:41.490 --> 00:24:43.769 Here's the thing, though. There is this crazy, 00:24:43.769 --> 00:24:46.269 like, mental thing that happens for a lot of 00:24:46.269 --> 00:24:48.589 people where when you are betrayed, it's that 00:24:48.589 --> 00:24:51.670 sort of, like, revenge that comes in if you're 00:24:51.670 --> 00:24:54.130 not healing properly. So, like, she obviously 00:24:54.130 --> 00:24:57.150 never got the actual help she needed for the 00:24:57.150 --> 00:25:00.269 betrayal trauma. It's just so clear, like, and 00:25:00.269 --> 00:25:02.029 my thing right now, I'm just thinking, like, 00:25:02.230 --> 00:25:04.009 the freaking kids, bro. I know. Because, like, 00:25:04.029 --> 00:25:05.430 the very first, one thing I didn't say the very 00:25:05.430 --> 00:25:08.009 first part of this is, like, mom said she's not 00:25:08.009 --> 00:25:10.009 making lunches anymore. Right. Oh, yeah. She's 00:25:10.009 --> 00:25:12.750 not making lunch for our kids. Yeah. Did I hear 00:25:12.750 --> 00:25:14.690 that right? Maybe I heard that wrong. No, she, 00:25:14.690 --> 00:25:17.990 she didn't like specify which meals, but for 00:25:17.990 --> 00:25:21.150 sure, she said that basically, Cherry, if she 00:25:21.150 --> 00:25:23.250 should be making meals for you, then I'm done. 00:25:23.349 --> 00:25:26.210 Like I'm not doing them anymore. So, and it sounded 00:25:26.210 --> 00:25:28.990 like only three days a week. So that part I didn't 00:25:28.990 --> 00:25:32.009 fully understand. That's just so weird. I just, 00:25:32.289 --> 00:25:35.170 I don't see a world where, why do you stay together? 00:25:35.470 --> 00:25:38.170 If he's continually stepping out. why are you 00:25:38.170 --> 00:25:39.750 staying together stay together though because 00:25:39.750 --> 00:25:42.549 the kids and finances that's the one she was 00:25:42.549 --> 00:25:44.170 kind of detached and she was like whatever this 00:25:44.170 --> 00:25:45.670 is just the life i have to live it's like okay 00:25:45.670 --> 00:25:48.470 if you can accept that that's like you know okay 00:25:48.470 --> 00:25:50.289 but now that she's in a place where she's like 00:25:50.289 --> 00:25:51.970 well i'm gonna do the same thing it's like i'm 00:25:51.970 --> 00:25:54.230 just like that's when you guys are like come 00:25:54.230 --> 00:25:57.630 on let's grow up and move on and i think she 00:25:57.630 --> 00:25:59.690 was honestly just hanging on until she could 00:25:59.690 --> 00:26:02.509 find a guy to bang and get him back that's kind 00:26:02.509 --> 00:26:04.309 of how it sounds yeah where she wasn't really 00:26:04.309 --> 00:26:06.190 interested in the effort and then it kind of 00:26:06.190 --> 00:26:08.170 came to her and so she was like she's like now 00:26:08.170 --> 00:26:10.490 it's time it's game time baby i think that's 00:26:10.490 --> 00:26:12.910 like and she said that she closed it like she 00:26:12.910 --> 00:26:15.329 closed that part of their relationship probably 00:26:15.329 --> 00:26:17.930 due to the hurt yeah so she posted it the exact 00:26:17.930 --> 00:26:19.990 same day it's been 10 months or so since i've 00:26:19.990 --> 00:26:22.650 last posted a lot has changed i'm here to tell 00:26:22.650 --> 00:26:24.410 you that i'm getting a divorce and starting the 00:26:24.410 --> 00:26:27.410 moving on process after posting on reddit i received 00:26:27.410 --> 00:26:29.990 a lot of backlash and dms that were a bit overboard 00:26:29.990 --> 00:26:34.160 i'm i'm sure you did However, there were some 00:26:34.160 --> 00:26:36.039 that made me see life in a different perspective 00:26:36.039 --> 00:26:38.359 and I realized being petty doesn't serve me nor 00:26:38.359 --> 00:26:41.420 my kids. A month after my OG post, I stopped 00:26:41.420 --> 00:26:44.259 the kids from eating cherries meals. It was childish 00:26:44.259 --> 00:26:47.490 to drag my kids into that mess. Mm -hmm. I'm 00:26:47.490 --> 00:26:49.150 just grateful they are small enough and don't 00:26:49.150 --> 00:26:50.630 understand what's happening with their parents 00:26:50.630 --> 00:26:53.170 I let her cook for him and take care of his laundry 00:26:53.170 --> 00:26:55.390 There's no way I'm slaving over a man who hates 00:26:55.390 --> 00:26:58.250 me My job is to take care of my kids not a grown 00:26:58.250 --> 00:27:01.009 adult who cannot respect his wife I'm no longer 00:27:01.009 --> 00:27:03.789 cook therapist financial planner assistant and 00:27:03.789 --> 00:27:06.210 maid just mother of his children and soon -to 00:27:06.210 --> 00:27:08.509 -be ex -wife Well, to rip the bandaid off, I 00:27:08.509 --> 00:27:11.230 cheated back, and it didn't go as planned. The 00:27:11.230 --> 00:27:13.730 petty spirit in me did it in the worst way possible. 00:27:14.190 --> 00:27:16.470 I invited the gentleman over when I knew my husband 00:27:16.470 --> 00:27:18.690 would be coming in, and he saw and heard everything. 00:27:18.910 --> 00:27:21.009 He caught me in the act, to keep it real with 00:27:21.009 --> 00:27:22.670 you all. I'm lucky to say that it could have 00:27:22.670 --> 00:27:24.730 went way worse than it did, but I don't feel 00:27:24.730 --> 00:27:27.430 guilty, just indifferent. I can say he isn't 00:27:27.430 --> 00:27:29.569 taking it well, and before bed he bawled his 00:27:29.569 --> 00:27:31.750 eyes out and vented for what felt like a millennium. 00:27:31.880 --> 00:27:34.000 I am the scum. I am the traitor. It's funny, 00:27:34.079 --> 00:27:36.599 not in a hysterical way, but I've been crying 00:27:36.599 --> 00:27:39.240 for years and he's only cried once. It's almost 00:27:39.240 --> 00:27:41.460 as if he forgot he was the cheater who caused 00:27:41.460 --> 00:27:43.980 all of this. I don't know how to explain, but 00:27:43.980 --> 00:27:46.019 I don't regret cheating back. It made me feel 00:27:46.019 --> 00:27:48.799 empowered. I felt satisfaction watching him break 00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:51.079 down because that used to be me. The morning 00:27:51.079 --> 00:27:53.519 afterwards, he woke up begging to reconcile. 00:27:53.799 --> 00:27:56.799 but this taught me I needed to divorce. He's 00:27:56.799 --> 00:27:59.140 being extra nice, but nice isn't good enough. 00:27:59.180 --> 00:28:01.380 It's the bare minimum. I had to pause when writing 00:28:01.380 --> 00:28:03.240 because he called to check up on me at work and 00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:05.799 he never does that. Not to mention lunch drop 00:28:05.799 --> 00:28:07.539 -offs and little gifts. I'm not buying it. I 00:28:07.539 --> 00:28:10.420 know this isn't the update some would want, but 00:28:10.420 --> 00:28:12.539 the bright side is I'm holding myself accountable 00:28:12.539 --> 00:28:14.700 in getting that divorce. I know in the comments 00:28:14.700 --> 00:28:17.220 somewhere I saw something about the finances. 00:28:17.880 --> 00:28:20.980 That is so interesting. He's like now trying. 00:28:21.619 --> 00:28:24.579 to keep her. I actually don't feel super surprised 00:28:24.579 --> 00:28:26.559 by that because I think a lot of people who get 00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:29.039 themselves in like that situation where they're 00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:31.480 cheating they like completely separate or like 00:28:31.480 --> 00:28:34.059 these they're two different ones or they'll be 00:28:34.059 --> 00:28:35.660 like well that's that wasn't that didn't mean 00:28:35.660 --> 00:28:37.539 anything to me so it's not cheating because it 00:28:37.539 --> 00:28:39.400 was just like it was just sex or whatever like 00:28:39.400 --> 00:28:41.900 yeah it's just when people are about to like 00:28:41.900 --> 00:28:45.000 when they're seeing what they're now losing that's 00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:53.339 when they want to try to That's crazy Disassociation 00:28:53.339 --> 00:28:56.920 Yeah, like where you cut off from all things 00:28:56.920 --> 00:28:59.960 emotional and it's just a physical acts escape 00:28:59.960 --> 00:29:02.539 It's all that stuff. So I found some of the comments 00:29:02.539 --> 00:29:05.019 so she replied to why she's not getting a divorce 00:29:05.019 --> 00:29:06.900 already I'm not giving up my house and leaving 00:29:06.900 --> 00:29:09.299 with half. I hope I get under his skin and he 00:29:09.299 --> 00:29:16.099 gives up everything. Oh She really hates him 00:29:16.670 --> 00:29:19.009 Yeah, but at first it sounded like she didn't 00:29:19.009 --> 00:29:21.829 really care like she's telling whatever but now 00:29:21.829 --> 00:29:24.029 it's like oh You're like you want to ruin his 00:29:24.029 --> 00:29:27.789 life like you you don't really know how to yeah 00:29:27.789 --> 00:29:33.230 She's got a lot of anger. Yeah, she's She's therapy 00:29:33.230 --> 00:29:36.670 camera. I'll agree both a -holes. Yeah both complete 00:29:36.670 --> 00:29:40.789 a -holes and Therapy a long time ago go to therapy 00:29:40.789 --> 00:29:43.680 here we go Would I be the a -hole if I divorced 00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:46.079 my wife because she does not want me actively 00:29:46.079 --> 00:29:49.559 involved in raising our children? My wife, 31F, 00:29:49.599 --> 00:29:51.720 and I, 32M, have been together since college 00:29:51.720 --> 00:29:54.519 and we've been married for seven years. We have 00:29:54.519 --> 00:29:57.500 three children together and I am sick of either 00:29:57.500 --> 00:29:59.420 having to step back and let her raise the kids 00:29:59.420 --> 00:30:01.460 almost as a single mom or fight with her because 00:30:01.460 --> 00:30:03.900 I did something with our children, even something 00:30:03.900 --> 00:30:06.720 as simple as feeding them. But that's where I'm 00:30:06.720 --> 00:30:08.700 at. She wasn't like this when our oldest was 00:30:08.700 --> 00:30:10.880 born. It started when she was pregnant with our 00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:13.619 twins. She would always tell me to tidy or run 00:30:13.619 --> 00:30:15.279 some errands when I wanted to spend time with 00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:17.279 our child. Then she'd keep him by her side the 00:30:17.279 --> 00:30:19.299 entire day, or she'd go off somewhere if I said, 00:30:19.660 --> 00:30:21.279 we should all spend the day together and focused 00:30:21.279 --> 00:30:23.660 on our oldest. But when the twins came, it was 00:30:23.660 --> 00:30:25.599 worse. Every time I went to feed or change a 00:30:25.599 --> 00:30:27.420 baby, she was telling me to go back to bed or 00:30:27.420 --> 00:30:29.420 to run to the store for something. Whenever she 00:30:29.420 --> 00:30:31.259 caught me holding and doing anything with one 00:30:31.259 --> 00:30:33.519 of our kids, it was like I was committing a crime. 00:30:33.660 --> 00:30:35.480 When I'd asked her what the issue was, she'd 00:30:35.480 --> 00:30:37.079 said there was nothing, but I should just make 00:30:37.079 --> 00:30:40.259 myself useful. I was doing that. One time she 00:30:40.259 --> 00:30:41.920 was delayed on the phone talking to her sister 00:30:41.920 --> 00:30:43.880 so I put her oldest to bed and got the twins 00:30:43.880 --> 00:30:46.240 fed. She freaked out and yelled at me for doing 00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:48.660 it without asking her. I told her it wasn't like 00:30:48.660 --> 00:30:50.700 I went off schedule and she was busy. She said 00:30:50.700 --> 00:30:52.839 that wasn't the point. Then came the fights about 00:30:52.839 --> 00:30:54.759 me trying to be with the kids instead of working 00:30:54.759 --> 00:30:57.059 or running errands. When I took time off I would 00:30:57.059 --> 00:30:59.059 make sure I got time with the kids and she'd 00:30:59.059 --> 00:31:00.880 be ready for a fight and if I didn't let a fight 00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:03.319 happen she yelled at me anyway. Whenever I didn't 00:31:03.319 --> 00:31:05.079 push through she'd find a way to keep the kids 00:31:05.079 --> 00:31:07.279 from me. I told her it bothered me and she said 00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:09.299 it was all in my head. Another time she accused 00:31:09.299 --> 00:31:11.160 me of trying to hog the kids even though I hadn't 00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:13.599 been home all day. She hated me baby wearing. 00:31:13.900 --> 00:31:16.259 I was screamed at for picking the kids up from 00:31:16.259 --> 00:31:18.519 her parents' house one day. She was at an appointment 00:31:18.519 --> 00:31:19.980 and I was getting out of work so I thought it 00:31:19.980 --> 00:31:22.140 would make sense, but she told me she decided 00:31:22.140 --> 00:31:24.019 to leave them with her parents so I should respect 00:31:24.019 --> 00:31:26.099 that and I told her I was just as capable of 00:31:26.099 --> 00:31:28.460 taking care of them as her. She was hospitalized 00:31:28.460 --> 00:31:30.480 briefly a couple months ago and that's when I 00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:32.819 reached the point of F this, we should divorce. 00:31:33.259 --> 00:31:34.940 I took some days off work so I could be with 00:31:34.940 --> 00:31:36.480 the kids and she kept telling me to go back to 00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:37.880 work and let the kids stay with their parents 00:31:37.880 --> 00:31:40.440 until she got home and she was screaming at me 00:31:40.440 --> 00:31:42.279 while she was in the hospital because I had the 00:31:42.279 --> 00:31:44.890 kids. She sent her parents to try and take them 00:31:44.890 --> 00:31:47.349 off me twice. When she recovered, I told her 00:31:47.349 --> 00:31:49.130 this couldn't continue. And if this is the way 00:31:49.130 --> 00:31:51.589 things would be, we should divorce. And she screamed 00:31:51.589 --> 00:31:53.569 and said, I would be an a -hole to destroy our 00:31:53.569 --> 00:31:55.789 family and break up our kids' stability. Even 00:31:55.789 --> 00:31:58.150 my own parents told me I should find a way to 00:31:58.150 --> 00:32:00.650 make it work. But she won't even sit down and 00:32:00.650 --> 00:32:02.569 talk to me. Therapy is out of the question on 00:32:02.569 --> 00:32:04.390 her part. And I don't want the kids to see us 00:32:04.390 --> 00:32:06.490 fight every time I interact with even one of 00:32:06.490 --> 00:32:09.450 them. Would I be the a -hole to divorce? No, 00:32:09.529 --> 00:32:12.119 Sha. What's wrong with that lady? Is that is 00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:14.380 it just control? Like she just needs ultimate 00:32:14.380 --> 00:32:17.039 control over the kids because if it's not that 00:32:17.039 --> 00:32:19.700 it might be that like She doesn't trust him. 00:32:19.759 --> 00:32:23.119 Like maybe he's like giving her bad vibes in 00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:26.359 her world Maybe something that happened to her 00:32:26.359 --> 00:32:29.079 with a parent or like yeah, just something that's 00:32:29.079 --> 00:32:33.859 like That she would let her parents Watch the 00:32:33.859 --> 00:32:35.559 kids but not her husband. It's like why are you 00:32:35.559 --> 00:32:37.480 married to him? You don't trust him with your 00:32:37.480 --> 00:32:40.039 kids. Why did you have kids with three? And they've 00:32:40.039 --> 00:32:42.880 been married seven years. That's like, that's 00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:44.880 quick. I know she had twins for the second, but 00:32:44.880 --> 00:32:47.859 still. It's divorce worthy. Like, the question 00:32:47.859 --> 00:32:50.019 from OP is like, is this worth getting a divorce? 00:32:50.660 --> 00:32:52.440 Like, yeah, because you want to be able to parent 00:32:52.440 --> 00:32:53.960 your own children. He would be able to spend 00:32:53.960 --> 00:32:56.779 literally more time with his kids 50 -50 custody 00:32:56.779 --> 00:33:00.059 than what he's doing now with with the wife staying 00:33:00.059 --> 00:33:02.640 married. Trying to imagine, like, I'd be so mad 00:33:02.640 --> 00:33:05.579 at you if I was like parenting Isla. Like I'm 00:33:05.579 --> 00:33:07.039 like trying to put her in timeout or something 00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:09.480 and you're like. Go do something else. Like I'm 00:33:09.480 --> 00:33:12.980 gonna be the parent Yeah, like I can't even imagine 00:33:12.980 --> 00:33:15.579 not even letting you baby wear. Let's like to 00:33:15.579 --> 00:33:17.180 a whole nother level You're not even parenting 00:33:17.180 --> 00:33:19.240 really you're just holding the baby, you know, 00:33:19.359 --> 00:33:21.039 here's my thought though The only thing that 00:33:21.039 --> 00:33:23.299 I thought was a little weird is that his own 00:33:23.299 --> 00:33:26.240 parents are saying no try and make it work Yeah, 00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:29.339 so that makes me feel like is it him? Are they 00:33:29.339 --> 00:33:32.440 off? No, these are about fate Okay, one one of 00:33:32.440 --> 00:33:36.490 the four will be so now one of the four Is the 00:33:36.490 --> 00:33:38.809 fake story and we want you guys to guess which 00:33:38.809 --> 00:33:42.569 one do you think was the fake? Do you think my 00:33:42.569 --> 00:33:47.789 last one was fake? You come up with the fake 00:33:47.789 --> 00:33:53.250 ones or the that trust me we can chat GPT knows 00:33:53.250 --> 00:33:56.269 how to do it. I feel like that was so outrageous. 00:33:56.329 --> 00:33:59.470 It has to be true. Okay, I'll go with four. I'll 00:33:59.470 --> 00:34:01.730 stick with four. Even though I'm starting to 00:34:01.730 --> 00:34:03.650 think that is probably four is probably real. 00:34:04.210 --> 00:34:07.069 Okay, I think the moments man I'm gonna I'm gonna 00:34:07.069 --> 00:34:09.789 do that. Yeah. Okay. Well stay tuned next week 00:34:09.789 --> 00:34:13.590 To find out which one was the fake and we announced 00:34:13.590 --> 00:34:15.590 it in the beginning of each episode. I will not 00:34:15.590 --> 00:34:19.230 be waiting We'll tie you up in that was so sorry 00:34:19.230 --> 00:34:21.550 It's awesome. Well, thank you guys. Thank you 00:34:21.550 --> 00:34:23.329 guys for joining us. That was fun. It's super 00:34:23.329 --> 00:34:26.699 fun thank you guys for listening you already 00:34:26.699 --> 00:34:28.179 know what to do let us know who you think is 00:34:28.179 --> 00:34:31.219 a fake on social media follow along and tune 00:34:31.219 --> 00:34:33.340 in next week love you guys so much okay we all 00:34:33.340 --> 00:34:37.679 put our hands in come on joe internet frenzy 00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:54.230 on three one two three internet frenzy One click 00:34:54.230 --> 00:34:55.570 no pretending