welcome back to internet frenzy we are finally
back we took a couple weeks off summer traveling
all the things but we're back and we're ready
to get going again and this episode you are not
gonna want to miss because it is a banger banger
city it's it's been it's been a minute we've
missed you guys we have missed you guys and we
are ready to get back at it so with that we are
jumping right into it the fake of last Episode
that you guys listen to the 404 air you guys
if you haven't listened to the episode go listen
to it right now It is one of my favorite episodes.
We've ever done the stories are so good, but
the fake was The Paul Walker sighting so super
fake super fake RIP Paul Walker Joe's has a man
crush on him, but you know it is what it is so
that one was fake I used to Not anymore. Yeah
died when he died. Oh Okay, well on that note
this week's episode is so good and it is I loved
you dot dot dot then I googled you Yo It's gonna
be crazy. It's all about secrets lies and a dark
past just one search away So I'm Joe before we
start on your story I just got to give a huge
shout out to water boy. Thank you so much for
sending these to us and I got to have one before
Joe starts his story because I'm sorry like I
need to stay hydrated because these stories are
gonna get me so parched. Yeah I mean and you
be staying thirsty too. I'm a thirsty little
girlie honestly. We just we just finished actually
at the gym so it's good I'm getting my electrolytes
in before we hit it with this. Little podcast.
I want to try it too. Can I yeah, I told you
I asked you I said you want me to get you a drink
and you said no good Well, that was before I
knew that it was water boy. I know have you had
this water mouth or you've had other ones, but
This is what I was gonna say is I'm a drink snob.
Yes big time. I love drinks I go to the gas station
and get a different drink every day not every
day, but look I love drinks so I will be excited
to see how this one tastes. Yeah, I'll let you
try mine. How about that? I've had lots of different
electrolytes that I really like. Waterboy is
good. Flavor is always there. So yeah, and I
really feel like it works. I can I notice a huge
difference after I drink it. So and it tastes
like sweet and like there's sugar in it, but
there's zero sugar. That's solid. I really like
it. That is tasty. Shout out to Waterboy. Thank
you so much for sending. And now Joe, now that
I'm hydrated, I'm ready for your story. All right,
this one comes from best of redditor updates
originally posted on grief support. Oh, that's
new to the podcast. Hey, I love new freaking
stuff. There's a lot of new stuff. All right.
My husband was arrested at the airport. I just
discovered his criminal past and I'm spiraling.
Oh, shoot. Could you imagine? I mean, Could you
imagine? No. Oh, I'm scared. I need to look you
up, bro. I don't even know where to begin. My
husband, 43, and I, 34, were about to leave for
our honeymoon when he was suddenly detained at
the airport. I had no idea this was coming. We've
been married for a few months. Before that, we
dated for over a year. I have no complaints about
our relationship. We're extremely compatible.
He's never asked me for anything and is beyond
supportive. Still early days, but lawyers not
retained by myself have advised that... His sentence
will be approximately four months in prison and
three years probation. Whoa! I know he has been
living openly for at least five years in our
state. He's not hidden any other aspect of his
life and I otherwise have open access. Also,
I've done background checks in both our current
state and where he previously lived. Both showed
no criminal history. We've flown internationally
before about 10 months ago. and it would have
been stupid of him to go on another international
trip when there was a possibility of arrest.
I'm truly confounded. After his detainment, we
were able to speak very briefly in a chaotic
moment. I later found out that he is being extradited
for a serious crime, one I could not even imagine
him being accused of. A day later, he was able
to phone me. He apologized, acknowledged the
stress he's put me under, and promised to tell
me everything. His family insists he's innocent,
but I'm playing devil's advocate with myself.
Not because of his detainment, but because he
never told me any of this before we got married.
His omission has shaken the foundation of our
relationship. I keep asking myself, should I
hold onto hope? Give things a chance to play
out, or am I just prolonging my own suffering?
I feel like I'm grieving my marriage and my future
all at once, and I know moving forward will be
beyond painful. If anyone has been through something
similar as advice on how to cope with this level
of betrayal, grief, and uncertainty, please share.
I feel like I'm drowning. This is this post is
intentionally vague on some details to help protect
my anonymity How many people out there do you
think are actually getting background checks
when they're like dating someone? I have the
same thought because I never have had a background
check on you before like I never did that you
also Started dating me when I was like 22 You
could still have a record at 22. I mean, I guess
that's that is true That is true. But yeah, it's
it's it's a different world out there in the
real world when you're dating it I mean she was
what 34 and he was 43 But I feel like the circle
I surround myself with like getting a background
check is not necessarily like a thing at all
I'm sure there's like different circles and other
Areas that they want to do a background check
Somebody said was it a bad check forgive and
forget was it violent and or sexual run? Yeah,
I don't know. I'm like trying to put myself in
her shoes like What I would do but I feel like
if it's something that has to do with the law
and broken the law She has every right to know
Before she gets into a relationship with him
like he should have disclosed that with her Way
before they got into like a relationship. Yeah,
I mean it it's so it's a freaking red flag AF
that he's they're like traveling and he gets
detained but Of course, that's going to shake
her to her core. That's traumatizing. And that
would be so embarrassing. Well, yeah. Like, imagine
your family. Ugh. Like, yeah. Oh, yeah, he got
arrested in customs. He got arrested at the airport.
Like, I have no idea why. Yeah. That's tough
to come back from. Oh, yeah, definitely. Plus,
yeah, he just seems like a shady character. He
seems like some, like, Mission Impossible guy.
Yeah, well. Do you think that was the fake yeah
or nay maybe maybe not but I'm ready for my story
I 29f just found out my boyfriend's wife thinks
he's dead and I don't know what to do This is
posted on true off my chest. We met at church
in Park City I had just moved to Utah didn't
really know anyone and he introduced himself
after church He was warm easy to talk to not
overly outgoing, but not shy either We started
going on walks, movie dates, and it just kind
of turned into a relationship. He told me early
on that he didn't have social media. Said he
used to, but deleted everything during a really
bad time in his life a few years ago. He mentioned
some kind of falling out with family and he said
he moved to Utah to start fresh. I didn't press.
He seemed honest. I liked that he lived simply.
He has a cabin outside of town up in the mountains.
That's where we always spent time reading, cooking,
hiking, just unplugging. It felt like a little
retreat from everything. We weren't official,
but we were consistent. I thought maybe it could
turn into something more. Last weekend, we were
getting ready to leave for a camping trip and
his wallet fell out of his bag. I picked it up,
handed it to him, and saw his ID. The last name
wasn't what he told me it was. At first, I thought
maybe it was a middle name or maybe a legal name
he didn't use anymore, but something about it
just felt off. Later that night, after he went
home, I Googled it. That's when everything unraveled.
The first thing that came up was a missing person's
report filed four months ago by a woman in Washington.
She said her husband had gone camping and never
came back. There were photos. One of them was
him standing next to a truck I've literally ridden
in. Another one was a close -up and I knew that
face. I had just kissed it two hours earlier.
The woman who followed the report was his wife.
And they have three kids. I didn't sleep. I stayed
up reading every single thing I could find. I
found her Facebook. It's public. Post after post
of her begging people to help. Videos of her
kids crying. Her kids holding signs. One of them
said, please come home daddy we miss you. I felt
sick. She thinks he's dead. The kids think he's
dead and I've been dating him like he's just
a regular guy. Oh my goodness. I was shocked
when I found this. Like dog, how did you land
in Utah? of all places like that's exactly where
a guy like that's gonna land no no if you want
to hide out you don't go to the place where like
every single person is connected by family or
a church like you're gonna be found brother oh
my gosh no it's absolutely crazy it's not disgusting
though what kind of human being is just gonna
dip and leave their children and wife and make
them think that he's dead oh that well We've
seen plenty of Documentaries not plenty but like
there's one that I can think of yeah that a girl
did the same thing She like pretended to get
jumped or mugged or something and then disappeared
and but it was because of like an affair She
was just chilling with the dude. Yeah chilling
with her ex -boyfriend. Yeah, this one's a little
different because he met her there it's not like
he was like going to like mistress, but Still,
it's still effed up. Like, it's still terrible.
He just decided, nope, I'm going to go ahead
and exit this life as I know it, leave my three
kids, leave my wife. And then what? Did it say
how they met? They met at church. So he was literally
going to church. Oh, no. Yeah. I'm like, how
do you feel even good about going into a building,
a church, like a building? Yeah, that defies
all of it. That just, you know. like what are
we like Lord please help him like forgive me
forgive me for abandoning my wife and three kids
and letting them think that I'm dead and please
bless it I'll have a good day tomorrow and find
a hot girl like that's terrible well it gets
worse because there is an update no there's not
yes yes yes so here's the update I haven't said
anything I told him I was sick and cancelled
our trip. He said he'd go up to the cabin alone
and be off -grid for a few days. That was four
days ago. Yesterday I finally decided I couldn't
sit with this anymore. I was going to tell him
I knew. I opened our text thread to send the
message, and it went green. He had blocked me.
I drove to the cabin this morning. Everything
was empty. No truck, no clothes, nothing in the
fridge. He's gone. And now I don't know what
to do. Do I tell her? Do I tell the cops? What
do I even say? How do you tell someone their
husband isn't dead? He just started all over
again. Oh yeah, you definitely tell her. You
definitely tell the cops. The fact it's been
four days from her finding out and she still
didn't tell the wife or the authorities like
pisses me off. Yeah, 100%. Like there's so many
resources going into trying to find dude and
he's just like. And she knows all along now four
days four days the authorities could have like
Done something like what would they do in that
case would they are they're not gonna arrest
him Well, yeah, I think they would bring him
back. I don't think you can they don't have the
power to do that No, no, they can't arrest him.
He didn't break the law. Well, it's highly frowned
upon Yeah, no, I don't know how that works but
it seems like If they knew that he was alive
and well, I don't think they'd be like, okay,
well, see you later. By the way, wife, yeah,
he's alive. He's just in Utah, like at a church
meeting. Yeah, I feel like that's what they would
do though. Like that's all they could do is just
let them know wife know where he is. And to think
they've wasted all that money on searching and
probably like checking the woods by his house.
Ridiculous. Well, I have a question for you.
Shoot it. Okay. Is there any situation where
disappearing like this is justified? your life
is in danger. Okay. If you're a gang member,
if you're in the mob and they're going to chop
you up and put you in a barrel and sink you down
to the bottom of a lake, go ahead and disappear.
And leave your children and wife screwed. Ideally,
you're gonna tell the wife too. You're gonna
say, hey, I'm gonna dip. Wanna dip with me? We
can go to the Bahamas. Oh my gosh. Okay. Alright,
well, there is a comment. There's a couple but
I'll just read one that I really liked. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. This story will haunt me not even
kidding. I read it this morning and it's still
stuck in my head Who just leaves a whole life
behind and starts another like it's nothing the
level of detachment is actually terrifying I
really like that last line because I think that's
so true. He just is fully detached Yeah, that's
a that's a dangerous person. Yeah, there's something
really wrong up here Yeah up here and right here
and right here. Yeah. Yeah, he's a good church
more but Apparently not apparently that's not
the answer But back with his family. Yeah, like
be a better human. Yeah, so sad. Well, that's
my story That one was gnarly. I know it's freaking
crazy, dude Can I go you may all right? This
next one comes from best of Redditor updates
OOP discovers his wife is having an affair When
he is called in by the police for questioning
involving the assault of her lover. Yo Shoot
title of the first post this is from 2021 I'm
completely lost because I just found out that
my 42 and wife 36f of 12 years has been having
an affair From the police who called me in for
questioning involving the assault of her lover.
I Don't know what I'm doing right now I don't
know if this is the right sub or even if I should
be posting this but I don't have a clear mind
Right now and I'm here to ask for some direction
I've been married to my wife for 12 years. We
have an amazing 11 year old son. Until last night,
I thought we had a good marriage. I thought I
was always really good to her. We have no money
problems, no intimacy problems, and I've never
taken her for granted. I want us to wake up every
morning and thank God that she is my wife. Now
I don't know what to think. I got a call from
my local PD as I was getting off work yesterday.
They asked if I could come to the police station
as soon as possible. I panicked. I asked if something
had happened to my wife or son. They said, not
to worry, just get to the station ASAP. When
I got there, they put me in a room with a table
and some chairs. They asked me my name, which
I gave. Then they started asking all these questions
about a guy my wife works with. I haven't seen
or spoken to this guy literally since December
2019 at my wife's company Christmas party. The
two officers kept asking me things like, how
long have you known and how did you find out?
The only answer I could give was, what are you
talking about? After about an hour of this, I
just stopped answering their questions and kept
asking where my son and wife were and were they
safe. We just kept going around and around until
after about two hours on and off because they
would periodically leave the room for 15 to 20
minutes. They come back and start it all over
again like some cheap cop show. The last time
they came in, the cop handed me a tablet and
showed me a video of my wife and the guy from
her work being intimate. I don't remember much
after that. I just remember screaming what the
F is this over and over again. I had a full blown
panic attack right there in the middle of the
police station. The police had a paramedic check
me out and he said my blood pressure was something
like 170 over 110. He wanted me to go to the
hospital, but I refused and said I needed to
find my wife and my son. After I calmed down,
the officers explained that the guy in the video
had been having an affair with my wife and apparently
several other women. He had been found that morning
in his driveway, beaten, essayed and set on fire.
Well, he was still alive, but in critical condition
and they didn't know if he would make it. His
wife had given them permission to go through
his phone and computer and that's where I found
the video of my wife. They asked me where I was
that morning and I told them the gym then work
about 10 minutes from my gym. At that point they
said I could go but that I might not want to
stay at my house because they didn't know if
his affair with my wife could be why he was attacked.
They also said my wife wasn't the only person
he was having an affair with. That's when I rushed
home. My son was staying with our neighbors so
I got him and went home. We packed some clothes
and his laptop for school and we headed to my
parents house 45 minutes away. I still haven't
heard from my wife. Her phone is going straight
to voicemail. I've called the officer who gave
me his card and he said she is at the hospital
with the guy she's been cheating with. I'm sitting
here in bed with my son on one side of me and
my 38 on the other. My dad is sleeping in his
chair in the living room with the shotgun across
his lap and I've not slept in over 30 hours.
I don't even know where to start. Anything would
be helpful right now. Any advice or ideas? I'm
in a fog. Gee, you're in a fog? Bro, get out
of here. There is so much going on here. It is
clear as crystal. Yeah, it is clear as mud. What
is going on? You've got... You've got the dude
that's burnt to a crisp that is the offender
in the story. And then you've got the wife at
his side at the hospital. Yeah. She was sleeping
with him. She's like, another one. Forget my
family. I'm going to be with the perpetrator
here. And then he did her way dirty. He got essayed.
He got lit on fire. So that's post one. Oh my
gosh. Update number one. For those people who
said my post was fake, my only reply is I wish.
From the bottom of my heart it was. Sometimes
the truth is stranger than fiction. For those
who said they couldn't find a news story, apparently
due to the nature of the attack, a lot of information
was withheld. Even our local news outlets only
reported it as an assault and it was nothing
more than a blurb on our nightly news. I found
out from my lawyer that police can literally
do or say anything they want, especially if you
aren't under arrest. short of direct threats
of harm. That includes lying directly to your
face, which they did. It turns out my wife wasn't
at the hospital with her lover when I contacted
the detective. She had been admitted to that
hospital psychiatric facility much earlier in
the day while he was still in surgery. Yikes!
I don't know why they would lie about that, but
they did. Needless to say, this situation has
caused me to become very suspicious of law enforcement.
After I woke up that afternoon, I contacted my
uncle's law partner, who is a family friend.
He actually came to my parents' house and sat
down with me to go over my options. His entire
law firm is now representing me, both in the
divorce and criminal defense. Okay, let's go.
That day, Sunday, he got... He got me an emergency
custody order and a protective order against
my wife, for me, my son, and my parents. Our
court date is in 60 days. The police served her
on Monday as she was leaving the psych hospital.
According to her brother, who was a close personal
friend of mine, she did not take it well. She's
staying with her parents for the time being.
I still haven't talked to her and she hasn't
made any attempt to speak to me either. Whether
that's due to shame, indifference, or the order
of protection, I don't know. I'm glad of it all
the same. My wife is not the person I thought
she was, and I'm ashamed of myself for not seeing
it sooner. It's crystal clear, baby. I mean,
where is this going? I had to tell my son something,
so I decided to tell him the truth, age appropriate,
and literally the first words out of his mouth
was, please don't let mommy take me away. I asked
him why he would say that, and from what he tells
me, my wife has been treating him very badly
when I wasn't around, and told him if he told
me, she would take him away and my son would
never see me again. Oh, that's dumb. I hate that.
She's been emotionally torturing our son and
I was too blind to see it. That wrecked me more
than the video to be honest. I told the lawyer
about what my son said and he used my son's statement
and her mental state and commitment to get the
emergency custody. I have contacted his school
for therapy resources and he will start therapy
after the first of the year. I feel like the
worst father to ever walk the face of the earth
at this point. Chill, bro. You can't be that
hard on yourself. As for our families, her parents
contacted me Tuesday and asked to come see us.
I was still with my parents at the time and I
told them they could come, but she was not allowed
anywhere near us. They agreed. They were so apologetic
and her poor mother didn't stop crying the entire
time she was with us. Her father was heartbroken
and kept referring to my wife as that girl. They
both said they felt like something was going
on with her and they did not raise her to be
this way. We hugged and cried before they left
and I told them they will always be a part of
our lives no matter what happens with the divorce.
After what my son told me, their visit was the
hardest part of our whole ordeal. My lawyer has
been doing amazing work so far. They found out
that the man my wife was sleeping with has a
long criminal record. One of the lawyers informed
me that when they went to print out the guy's
arrest record, the printer ran for five minutes
straight. From what they could learn, he is currently
on parole for drug offenses and has had gang
affiliations in the past. He is still alive but
in critical condition and still may not make
it. The firm has an investigator who contacted
the coworker who drove my wife to the hospital.
The coworker informed them that my wife's affair
was an open secret around the office. My lawyers
think that's how the police figured out who I
was and who my wife was in the video. There are
several photos of last year's Christmas party
at her work and my wife and I are in several
of them. That's where I currently am in this
whole situation. I am just numb, still lost and
heartbroken. How long does the numbness last?
And is there any way to get past this emotional
lethargy faster? I mean, really numb, like a
dream. Everything I've just said has felt like
it's happening to someone else. That sucks for
the grandparents. Grandparents are like, oh,
that's our daughter. She did that to you? Yeah.
That sucks. I think it's really great. The precautionaries
he's taking, like he's doing all the right things.
You've got a lawyer who's doing the restraining
order. He's, especially with his parents and
his son and him, like he's doing what he needs
to do to protect his family. But protect? Yeah,
she's crazy. But she didn't, we don't know if
she did anything yet. Her mental health is pretty
wild. So the whole restraining order thing? If
she's actually dangerous, if you feel like she's
dangerous, okay. All right, let's move on to
update number two. It's the last update. It's
a little long, but let's get it. Sorry for the
novel, I just needed to vent and get this week
off my chest. Found out wife was cheating from
cops questioning me about the assault of the
guy she was cheating with. Divorcing, now she
claims she has substance abuse problems and asks
for another chance. I feel like an idiot for
not seeing it when we were together. I will start
off by saying thank you to everyone who replied
to both my original post and the update. This
sub really did help me so much. If I didn't respond
to you directly, I'm sorry, but I got so many
messages I can't keep up with them all. First,
my son is doing so much better. He started therapy
the first week of January and the difference
is already noticeable. I asked him if he felt
comfortable with me talking to his therapist
and he said yes, so I've had a few discussions
with her. According to the therapist, my soon
-to -be ex would verbally and emotionally abuse
our son whenever they were alone together. He
was not allowed to make noise or bother her in
any way when he was home. She would leave him
alone for hours on end and even overnight if
I was out of town. She would then threaten him
with being taken away and never see me again
if he told me or anyone else. The therapist said
this has made him feel powerless and dependent
in a time in his development that she should
actually be feeling empowered and self -reliant.
So to that end, I have bought him his own phone
and helped him memorize family members' phone
numbers and as many addresses as are relevant.
I've also been teaching him situational awareness
to pay attention to street names and how to read
addresses on buildings. We've also role played
how to ask people for help. How he can clearly
explain to strangers that he's in trouble and
he doesn't feel safe. I know this may sound silly,
but my son can be a bit introverted and shy when
he doesn't feel comfortable. Even though we've
only been doing this for a few weeks, I can see
that it's really building his confidence. Any
suggestions on how to continue to build his self
-reliance would be really helpful. His safety
and well -being is still my number one concern
right now. As for myself, I'm doing as good as
can be expected. I started therapy around the
same time as my son, and although I don't speak
to my therapist as much as he does, this helped
me to be able to talk through my thoughts and
feelings about everything that has happened to
us in our family. The numbness is gone, but it
was replaced by a white hot ball of anger in
the pit of my stomach whenever I think about
my soon -to -be ex and what she's put our family
through. Funny enough, although I hate feeling
angry, it's a lot easier to deal with than the
numbness. My therapist says this is a part of
the grieving process and it's not how we feel,
but how we channel those emotions that matter.
My legal situation. Well, I'll be honest. It's
the scariest thing I've ever dealt with in my
life. I was awarded temporary full custody and
child support, which I didn't want, but my lawyer
pretty much demanded we asked for, as well as
a continuation of the order of protection for
myself and my son. At the request for an order
hearing, which neither my wife nor her lawyer
showed up to, the judge asked if we would allow
supervised visitation, but my son absolutely
refused, which was why my lawyer told me to bring
him along. The judge asked my son if he would
speak to him alone, and he agreed. The judge,
stenographer, and a child welfare officer went
into chambers with my son and met for about 10
minutes. After their meeting, the judge granted
the temp orders and ordered therapy and psychological
evaluation for my son. Luckily, the therapist
he is seeing is somehow involved with or accredited
to work with the court, so he doesn't have to
see another therapist. My lawyer said this is
a good thing because it means this therapist
can give a recommendation for custody, but it
still scares the hell out of me that she could
get some form of custody after what she put him
through. As for the affair partner, I don't know
much. From what my lawyers have gathered, he's
alive but still in the hospital. I haven't heard
from the police since my initial interview, so
nothing new to report there. As for my soon -to
-be ex, I still hadn't seen her since the day
I was questioned until Thursday. She's attempted
to call me a few times, but I haven't answered,
and when she called from another number, I hung
up immediately. I have nothing to say to her,
and I don't want to hear anything she has to
say to me. Her lawyer requested a preliminary
hearing for our court -appointed mediation. She
was served the second week of January. She was
there with her lawyer, and I know this will sound
petty, but even with the mask, she looked bad.
My soon -to -be ex was always an attractive and
athletic woman. I swear, in our wedding photos,
she looks like a supermodel. But now, while she's
lost so much weight, it's disturbing. She looks
sick and frail. She didn't even look at me. She
just sat with her face down through most of the
meeting. Long story short, everything they asked
for was ridiculous. They wanted visitation during
the divorce proceedings and shared custody after.
They want us to drop the OPs. She wants to cohabitate
until the divorce is finalized. I'm not joking.
After all this, she wants to live in the same
house. It was so insulting that my head throbbed
through the whole meeting, but it was all worth
it for the big reveal we gave to her lawyer.
Her lawyer asked how we should handle discovery
for the division of assets to which my lawyer
Got this shocked look on his face and said, what
division of assets? Read the prenup. The look
on her lawyer's face was priceless. She hadn't
told her lawyer about the prenup. My late uncle,
who's the founding partner of the law firm I
use, wrote that prenup and actually hired her
a lawyer to look over it for her before we were
married. According to my lawyer, it's a thing
of beauty because we never mixed finances per
my uncle's instructions. The house we live in
was a gift to me from my uncle before we married.
All the utilities and insurances are in my name.
All the vehicles are registered in the owner's
name only, and we never had to sign for any debt
for each other. We have one shared savings account
that is used for household maintenance in an
emergency fund. Has around $8 ,000 in it, which
she has already drained. There is less than $300
in it now. The prenup states that all marital
assets and debt are to be divided 50 -50, and
ownership of all intangible assets and personal
debt reverts back to the individual who recruited
it. The adultery clause simply states that we
agree that if either party is caught or admits
to committing adultery, they lose the right to
claim any form of spousal support. There's a
lot more to it than this, but my lawyer assures
me that trying to break this prenup will be damn
near impossible because it is the most fair prenup
he's ever read. Oh my gosh. The last thing her
lawyer asked for was what really messed with
me. He asked that we postpone the official mediation
for six months while my soon to be ex attends
an inpatient rehab facility for substance abuse.
Some people in both my last post stated that
she might have a substance abuse issue, but I
didn't even think about it because I couldn't
even fathom that. I talked to my lawyer and he
said that we would discuss it and get back with
them about our decision on that. Before we left,
my soon to be ex spoke literally for the first
time and asked me to read a letter she had written
me. My lawyer gave me the this could be a snake
so be careful look and I debated with myself
for a moment but decided to take it. When I got
home, I read it. Now I wish it hadn't. It started
off with all those busted cheater platitudes
that everyone warned me about. I love you. I
love our family. I know I mistreated our son.
And I hate myself for it. I want us again. But
she did explain that after a major surgery she
had about two years ago, she started abusing
her medication. After a while, she started buying
them from some of the people she worked with,
including her AP. He became her go -to guy. And
when she ran out of money, she started sleeping
with him to make up the difference. She said
she hid this from me because she was afraid I
would make her stop and she couldn't feel right
without them anymore. He meant nothing to her
but a fix and she hates herself for doing what
she's done both to herself and to us. Now she
says she understands how awful what she's done
is and wants to get better for our family and
asked me to at least give her some time to prove
she wants this. Let me stay for the record, I
will never get back with my wife. Our marriage
was over the moment she cheated on me and abused
our son, but dang. Where the F was I while all
this was going on? I just feel like the most
naive, obtuse idiot to ever walk the earth. And
furthermore, how should I approach this from
here? Am I just throwing her away or am I still
justified and feeling betrayed? I feel like such
a failure as a husband and a father right now.
I mean, I feel nothing for her but anger and
resentment. But is this how you treat someone
fighting the demon she's fighting? I'm just lost
and feel so hopeless again. Anyway, any advice
would be much appreciated here. Wow. So this
is the crazy part. It's like the wife is obviously
a horrible person Like there's no question the
the mistreatment of the son is inexcusable all
the stuff that she said the substance abuse,
but then Like the human part of me pops up and
is like, okay You could eviscerate this lady.
You could literally ruin her life forever She
never sees her son again. She gets nothing in
the divorce because prenup or you could like
Use it to have a really positive impact on her
life not saying they need to be chummy but like
extend grace What about like okay? It's the divorce
is gonna be over Like why don't you try to lift
her from the hellhole that she's in by just saying
like visitations, okay? Like you can do supervised
visits like he's gonna he's gonna ride off into
the sunset. He's completely protected by the
prenup He's gonna be fine You know, find a better
spouse. Yeah, but the only person that's hurting
is the son. Then you're just saying to have him
open that door for the dad or for the mom to
meet with the kid. But the kid is very much made
it clear that, like, at this time, he wants nothing
to do with her. Maybe when he's an adult, he
can make that choice. But he's 11 right now.
Right. And yeah, I mean. Of course, when he's
an adult, he can, but I just think when you look
at a situation like this, what's the best case
scenario, like the actual best case scenario
for all parties involved? But her feelings really
shouldn't matter at this point. Like we don't
really care about her. Like she's kind of a crappy
person. And yeah, she's going through a really
hard time that she's going to need to get help
on her own. She shouldn't have to do that while
damaging her son in the meantime. think it's
great you're trying to be like the bigger person
and be like give her grace but she's the only
reason why I'm like against her being around
the kid is because the kid has expressed all
the things she's done to him and yeah I mean
I just don't think a kid like a vulnerable sad
kid that's gone through a lot of stuff he's not
gonna have any like real concept of what's going
on and like yeah he put yourself in this husband's
shoes though what if it was me And what I did
your daughter says that mom's been doing this
for years and I am I am being questioned for
lighting my affair partner on fire like You don't
know for a fact if she was the one that did it
or not No, I mean it didn't even say that she
was being questioned but getting checked into
the psych ward is one thing. It's the letter
It's the fact that she was like look is substance
abuse issues. But it was all self -serving. She
wanted them to cohabitate. What is it, cohabitate?
Yeah, cohabitate. You know, yeah, and that's
like, I would have said no to that. Like, definitely
not. That's what I'm saying. She just wanted
to do it because she wants her old life back.
There's some of that, but there's also, like,
she's destroyed everything. So at what point
do you just say, hey, like, I'm going to help
you toss the shovel out and stop digging the
hole that you're already in. But it's not...
No, but it says it's the person that he loved
for all these years and every part of their relationship
was great Yeah, what he thought yeah, that's
pretty wild. I mean it wasn't if she's over here
doing her thing She's a probably person, but
exactly yeah, I mean We will agree to disagree
on that. We definitely will yeah I think that
if there was a kid not involved then I would
be more willing to say like if you need to help
her out a little bit go for it and you're a bigger
person for doing that but because there's a kid
involved I disagree even though that was a long
story that was a really good one and I feel like
there is a lot to unpack on that but we only
have so many minutes in the day so many hours
in the day so we're gonna move on to my story
and this will be the final story of the day So
this comes from our relationship advice. Fun
arrest records for the man M42 IF28 have been
dating. How can I safely end things with him?
IF28 started seeing M42 a few weeks ago. Invaded
his job and instantly hit it off. I haven't really
connected with anyone lately so I was super excited
about this man. I really like him. However, something
has felt off. It honestly felt like he was love
bombing me. I thought he was just a cheesy guy
or desperate but he does everything excessively.
Like non -stop compliments and talk about how
I'm his dream girl. Flowers and gifts, loud displays
of affection in public, literally yelling out
loud how much he adores me. Plus, he is needed
to have constant communication. If I don't respond
to a text, he will spam until I respond. Aside
from the law of bombing, he is coming out of
a divorce. I haven't asked for details about
it because he doesn't know why my last relationship
ended either. All I know is they were married
for 20 years. She left him, and he was very depressed
for a while. but he keeps talking about me as
if I'm a blessing that entered his life. His
verbatim says when a door closes a window opens
and this window has finally opened at least once
each time I see him. He has done this since the
first date so at first I thought he was excited.
I mean after the second date he was going to
tell everyone he has a girlfriend. He did not
ask me out. He and I took a selfie together.
On Thursday he sent me a cropped version of just
me that had my nose piercing photoshopped out
and it was enhanced by AI. It really creeped
me out. I had been having a sinking feeling in
my stomach, so I canceled our plans for Thursday
and Friday. On Friday night, I started telling
my neighbor about how weird the guy has been.
She asked if I had a photo, and I didn't, so
I deep dived to find him. Like, I was working
off his age, first name, and last initial. I
found his Facebook, which confirmed his divorce.
Something still felt off, so I Googled him, and
a mugshot where he looks rough popped up. The
charges listed were violation of protective order.
I liked him, but now I'm kind of scared of them.
Maybe I'm being dramatic. I just don't think
I would feel safer on him. How can I safely end
things? My neighbor said to block him, but I
don't want to risk getting stalked or anything.
Yikes. The dude's a sketch. Yeah. No, I definitely
think it's so hard because I feel like as girls,
especially it's like, Oh, maybe I'm being dramatic,
but like, no, if your gut is telling you something's
off, something is off. Trust it. and you're not
being dramatic. This is creepy. Can you imagine
taking a selfie with a guy you're dating and
literally, he sends the selfie back, but he crops
himself out and he takes out your nose ring and
then you're AI'd, like you are enhanced. You
look whatever, your skin's smoother, your eyes
are brighter, your teeth are whiter, like all
the things. Like what was the goal? I would be
so shook. Hey, I fixed the hole in your nose.
I would, and he cropped himself out. He took
himself out of it just to send it to her. Like
I'd be like, where's the photo of me and you
that we took? Why would you do that? Like it's
weird. Some 42 year olds need to stay off the
internet. Yeah. So he's 42. He's 42. She's 28.
Yeah. Recently divorced. Just think about that.
He was married for 20 years. So he got married
at 22. She was eight when he got married That
is so gnarly that's so gross to like oh, and
he's just all gas no breaks like oh, yeah This
is my girlfriend now like yeah, this is cool
my girlfriend. Look. She doesn't have a nose
piercing I fixed it and he never even asked her
out like he never said will you be my girlfriend?
Yeah, I mean I don't really know how that all
works But I do know that you don't just assume
after two dates that you've got a girlfriend
searching his name First of all, probably everyone
should do that, right? If you're picking somebody,
shouldn't you just like take a peek? I feel like
this episode has got me thinking. Like I was
so naive. I didn't like, I mean, yes, I saw your,
like I stalked your Instagram and your Facebook,
but. At length. No, and your Twitter. Scrolling
into the history books. I felt like this episode
opened my eyes to like ladies and men. If you're
dating. Look them up Google that name and see
what comes up because you can never be too careful
Seriously, and yeah I'm just thinking of the
reality for a lot of people if you live in a
big city if you live in Say you live in Phoenix
you live in New York City or LA like yeah if
you meet somebody you come from different worlds
different places like It probably is the right
thing to do to get a background check done to
like just find out anything that you want to
find out hundred percent it sounds dramatic,
but man you just never know like you never know
you could date somebody and it's like they you
could have no idea it could be a spy oh i mean
spies aren't that bad unless it's a russian spy
that's here to take out the president You guys,
that is our story. Now remember, the premise
of our entire podcast is we do three truths and
one fake. You guys need to think about which
story you think was the fake of this week's episode.
In the beginning of next week's episode, we'll
announce which fake was from this episode. Sorry
if that's confusing, but stay with me here. So
again, the theme, I loved you, then I Googled
you. It was a good time, you guys. Thanks for
being here. And Waterboy. We love you. Go check
them out, you guys. We actually have an Amazon
storefront now. So search internet frenzy storefront
on Amazon. And it's everything that we absolutely
love is going to pop up there. Trust me. There's
some good stuff. And like literally, that's it.
That's it, y 'all. Have a good week. We'll see
you guys next week. Don't worry. We're getting
back on the horse here. The episodes are going
to start coming in a little bit more frequently.
Last thing I'm going to mention for the podcast
listeners. We've had a couple of guests that
we were excited about that bailed on us. That's
part of why we've dealt with some delays and
this and that. Thank you for tuning in and we
will see you guys next week. And get a background
check. Bye! Yeah, get a background check on your
mom. Gotta go! Click no pretending