WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.620 Welcome back to Internet Frenzy. What's happening, 00:00:03.040 --> 00:00:05.799 gang? That scared me. I wasn't expecting you 00:00:05.799 --> 00:00:08.439 to start. Hey, I guess I should remind you that 00:00:08.439 --> 00:00:11.980 you're on a podcast. That was awesome. I was 00:00:11.980 --> 00:00:15.019 just zoned out. And then all of a sudden, welcome 00:00:15.019 --> 00:00:18.579 back. I'm back. Thank you for the welcome. You 00:00:18.579 --> 00:00:22.879 know what? Happy Late Father's Day, dads. Blessings. 00:00:23.160 --> 00:00:26.859 We love you. We are you. This episode was supposed 00:00:26.859 --> 00:00:31.000 to air today. Yeah. But it was Father's Day. 00:00:31.339 --> 00:00:33.600 True. Was I reporting a podcast on Father's Day? 00:00:34.380 --> 00:00:36.500 No. I was not. I could have been co -worked, 00:00:36.500 --> 00:00:39.219 but we had other stuff going on. Did I film a 00:00:39.219 --> 00:00:41.799 podcast episode on Mother's Day, though? It was 00:00:41.799 --> 00:00:44.259 so long ago. Oh. I don't remember. The answer 00:00:44.259 --> 00:00:48.820 is yes. I did. Mm. Yeah, I had to just add that 00:00:48.820 --> 00:00:51.179 in there. But that's OK, because you want to 00:00:51.179 --> 00:00:53.740 know something really cool? Tell me. We got the 00:00:53.740 --> 00:00:56.200 best package in the mail. It was at our front 00:00:56.200 --> 00:00:59.299 door. So not the mail. Where packages arrive? 00:01:00.700 --> 00:01:03.960 Yes, correct. Open the door. The most beautiful 00:01:03.960 --> 00:01:07.859 box that had tape on it. That's it. Skinny Dip. 00:01:08.439 --> 00:01:10.000 Maybe you're going to put the people to sleep 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:12.879 right now. No, no, no, no. Just hear me out. 00:01:12.959 --> 00:01:17.459 Hear me out. You guys, what was in this box changed 00:01:17.459 --> 00:01:21.060 the game. Skinny Dip, everything Skinny Dip touches 00:01:21.060 --> 00:01:25.150 is so... Good. No, you're right. So the bag is 00:01:25.150 --> 00:01:27.750 not being shown at this very moment on our YouTube 00:01:27.750 --> 00:01:29.769 podcast listeners go to our YouTube if you want 00:01:29.769 --> 00:01:34.890 to Visually see these bags guys. We tried. What 00:01:34.890 --> 00:01:38.069 was it called again? It was the cinnamon Cashew. 00:01:38.290 --> 00:01:41.870 Oh my gosh They could did it could have been 00:01:41.870 --> 00:01:46.069 called crack. Yeah Yes, it probably was called 00:01:46.069 --> 00:01:49.269 that I'm not joking like one taste of this stuff. 00:01:49.629 --> 00:01:53.019 I was done It's done. That's why it's not sitting 00:01:53.019 --> 00:01:58.200 right here because we deleted it like Moments 00:01:58.200 --> 00:02:01.060 after we opened it was so dangerous. It's so 00:02:01.060 --> 00:02:03.879 good. So good skinny dip you guys know what you're 00:02:03.879 --> 00:02:07.099 doing Here's the slogan right snack with no strings 00:02:07.099 --> 00:02:10.759 attached. Oh, come on now They're so good. Thanks 00:02:10.759 --> 00:02:13.500 for the love skinny dip. Yeah, skinny dip shot 00:02:13.500 --> 00:02:16.259 out. We're gonna be stuck on things this episode 00:02:16.509 --> 00:02:19.610 So in conjunction with Father's Day, this would 00:02:19.610 --> 00:02:21.590 have been filmed on Father's Day, it wasn't. 00:02:21.710 --> 00:02:23.810 But to celebrate the dads, we have to do what 00:02:23.810 --> 00:02:25.930 we did for the moms. We can't just talk about 00:02:25.930 --> 00:02:28.590 how noble and how great all the dads are because 00:02:28.590 --> 00:02:31.250 one, that's not real life. They're pieces of 00:02:31.250 --> 00:02:34.150 shit. And two, that's not that fun to talk about. 00:02:35.069 --> 00:02:38.250 Like on Father's Day, we got to share all of 00:02:38.250 --> 00:02:41.289 our stuff. We got to be happy about dads. And 00:02:41.289 --> 00:02:45.439 that's where that ended. So this week's episode 00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:49.719 is called the dadliest catch. Hey, I love that. 00:02:50.580 --> 00:02:52.699 And here's just a quick rundown of the stories 00:02:52.699 --> 00:02:55.439 before we recap last week's episode. So the first 00:02:55.439 --> 00:02:56.819 story that you're going to hear this week is 00:02:56.819 --> 00:03:02.439 my dad is marrying my ex's mom. Just wait. Next 00:03:02.439 --> 00:03:05.000 one is in my VA hole for telling my BF that my 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:07.740 dad is dead when he's actually alive. Spoiler 00:03:07.740 --> 00:03:09.979 alert that might be recycled. You might have 00:03:09.979 --> 00:03:12.159 heard that one somewhere before. This is a story 00:03:12.159 --> 00:03:13.960 We had to use it again for this episode because 00:03:13.960 --> 00:03:16.360 it fit too well, but we have we've talked about 00:03:16.360 --> 00:03:18.919 that story before So it's crazy. We're gonna 00:03:18.919 --> 00:03:22.099 jump in next one is my husband refuses to change 00:03:22.099 --> 00:03:26.539 diapers What and then last my husband's grandpa 00:03:26.539 --> 00:03:30.360 made bad comments about me Oh, so this one is 00:03:30.360 --> 00:03:33.520 not about husband being bad dad not about husband's 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:37.560 dad. It's husband's grandpa bad things So that's 00:03:37.560 --> 00:03:40.340 what we're in for this week. Now, quick recap 00:03:40.340 --> 00:03:43.319 of last week. It was the blood half -bloods and 00:03:43.319 --> 00:03:46.960 the in -law apocalypse. We had putting my brother's 00:03:46.960 --> 00:03:49.360 girlfriend in her place, the story about OP, 00:03:49.860 --> 00:03:51.860 owning half the house, telling the girlfriend, 00:03:52.080 --> 00:03:54.919 uh -uh, sister, this is my house. And then we 00:03:54.919 --> 00:03:57.620 have the son that told his dad not to marry the 00:03:57.620 --> 00:04:01.419 girlfriend. Real or fake? That was real. Would 00:04:01.419 --> 00:04:03.620 I be the a -hole for ditching my disabled dad? 00:04:03.759 --> 00:04:06.419 That was a sad one. I made us both cry. He didn't 00:04:06.419 --> 00:04:08.740 end up ditching his disabled dad. The update 00:04:08.740 --> 00:04:11.860 comes after he passed away. It was a real, real 00:04:11.860 --> 00:04:14.280 story. And the last one happened to be the fake. 00:04:14.400 --> 00:04:16.600 Telling my twin sister that her boyfriend hit 00:04:16.600 --> 00:04:21.899 on me. That was the fake. So if you had that 00:04:21.899 --> 00:04:23.519 one pegged, you guys are getting good. If you 00:04:23.519 --> 00:04:25.399 didn't, keep practicing. Noelle had it pegged. 00:04:25.420 --> 00:04:27.660 She texted me and told me. I think the last one's 00:04:27.660 --> 00:04:31.439 the fake. Noelle, you're getting good. Keep listening. 00:04:31.540 --> 00:04:34.540 You're not going to know this one. All right, 00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:36.360 well let's get into the episode. The dadliest 00:04:36.360 --> 00:04:38.379 catch. If you hear us chewing, it's because Skinny 00:04:38.379 --> 00:04:40.540 Dip is delicious and we're not gonna be able 00:04:40.540 --> 00:04:43.420 to stop eating these almonds. So I'm sorry in 00:04:43.420 --> 00:04:45.860 advance. I'm gonna at least chew with my mouth 00:04:45.860 --> 00:04:47.560 closed. We'll see if I can get her to do the 00:04:47.560 --> 00:04:51.740 same. I will, I promise. The first story is gonna 00:04:51.740 --> 00:04:54.160 knock your damn socks off. So buckle up people. 00:05:12.459 --> 00:05:14.959 This one comes from Best of Redditor Updates, 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:18.019 my favorite sub on Earth. The title is, my dad 00:05:18.019 --> 00:05:20.459 is marrying my ex's mom and now he's mad I'm 00:05:20.459 --> 00:05:22.920 not going to the wedding. Okay. Are you ready? 00:05:23.220 --> 00:05:25.439 Yeah, I'm ready. Let's see about it. Don't really 00:05:25.439 --> 00:05:27.980 know how to start this, but whatever. I'm 24. 00:05:28.120 --> 00:05:31.259 I used to date this girl, Maya, also 24 while 00:05:31.259 --> 00:05:33.689 in college like three years ago. We broke up 00:05:33.689 --> 00:05:35.709 a couple years ago. It wasn't some big blow up 00:05:35.709 --> 00:05:37.870 or anything. Just kind of slowly stopped working 00:05:37.870 --> 00:05:40.569 and haven't really talked since. So a while ago, 00:05:40.610 --> 00:05:44.029 my dad, he's 52, told me he was seeing someone. 00:05:44.230 --> 00:05:46.449 I didn't think much of it. Cool. Good for him. 00:05:46.709 --> 00:05:48.730 We're not super close, but we talk here and there. 00:05:49.269 --> 00:05:51.649 Then he drops that he's been dating Maya's mom. 00:05:53.370 --> 00:05:56.269 Yeah, I literally thought he was joking at first. 00:05:56.290 --> 00:05:58.370 I kind of just stared at him, but no, he was 00:05:58.370 --> 00:06:00.649 serious. They met at some charity pickleball 00:06:00.649 --> 00:06:03.610 thing. Don't ask, IDK. and have apparently been 00:06:03.610 --> 00:06:05.769 seeing each other for a few months at that point. 00:06:05.990 --> 00:06:08.629 Never mentioned it until then. I didn't even 00:06:08.629 --> 00:06:10.870 know how to respond. Like, it's not illegal or 00:06:10.870 --> 00:06:15.470 anything, but... Bro. Anyway, now they're engaged. 00:06:16.189 --> 00:06:18.230 Wedding is coming up and somehow I'm expected 00:06:18.230 --> 00:06:20.970 to be totally fine with it. Even ask me if I 00:06:20.970 --> 00:06:24.689 wanted to walk her, Maya, down the aisle. Like, 00:06:24.970 --> 00:06:28.110 why would I do that? I told him I'm not really 00:06:28.110 --> 00:06:29.810 comfortable with any of it and I wasn't gonna 00:06:29.810 --> 00:06:32.069 be at the wedding. He got pissed, like wouldn't 00:06:32.069 --> 00:06:34.209 talk to me for a bit. Then he sent me this long 00:06:34.209 --> 00:06:36.629 text about how I'm being selfish and quote, this 00:06:36.629 --> 00:06:39.410 isn't about you. But like you're marrying the 00:06:39.410 --> 00:06:41.689 mom of the person I was in a serious relationship 00:06:41.689 --> 00:06:44.470 with for years. That's weird, right? I don't 00:06:44.470 --> 00:06:46.449 think I'm crazy for needing some space from that. 00:06:47.329 --> 00:06:49.670 Now some people in my family think I'm overreacting. 00:06:49.990 --> 00:06:52.149 Others are like, WTF is going on over there. 00:06:52.550 --> 00:06:54.649 I don't know, just needed to get that out. This 00:06:54.649 --> 00:06:57.139 whole thing feels unreal. Maya and the dad have 00:06:57.139 --> 00:06:59.540 been dating. We don't know how long correct Maya's 00:06:59.540 --> 00:07:03.399 mom. My dad. Thank goodness. It's the mom. Yes, 00:07:03.600 --> 00:07:07.879 and Was OP and his girlfriend did they end on 00:07:07.879 --> 00:07:11.939 good terms or bad terms? What it said was? It 00:07:11.939 --> 00:07:13.860 wasn't some big blow -up or anything just kind 00:07:13.860 --> 00:07:15.740 of slowly stopped working and we haven't really 00:07:15.740 --> 00:07:20.240 talked since right? Okay. Sorry. Sorry Wow, and 00:07:20.240 --> 00:07:22.740 now he's finding out that they're dating all 00:07:22.740 --> 00:07:25.519 of a sudden And is dad like sympathetic at all 00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:28.699 towards it or no? It doesn't sound like it based 00:07:28.699 --> 00:07:30.800 on what OP says. There's nothing that indicates 00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:34.199 that dad is sympathetic about it. But OP doesn't 00:07:34.199 --> 00:07:37.040 take well to it. Right. Dad says you're being 00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:40.660 selfish. Like says you're like this isn't about 00:07:40.660 --> 00:07:43.040 you at this point. So put yourself in dad's shoes. 00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:46.660 OK. You're single. You meet somebody or even 00:07:46.660 --> 00:07:49.560 even your Maya's. You're the mom. It doesn't 00:07:49.560 --> 00:07:52.879 matter the gender in this case. Like you're. 00:07:52.810 --> 00:07:56.689 your child has a history with someone and you're 00:07:56.689 --> 00:07:58.569 not like if you have chemistry with the person 00:07:58.569 --> 00:08:01.069 you're not going to date that person they've 00:08:01.069 --> 00:08:03.389 been broken up for two years your kids are like 00:08:03.389 --> 00:08:06.209 early 20s or whatever oh that's hard to meet 00:08:06.209 --> 00:08:08.490 that person it's not like you weren't like connected 00:08:08.490 --> 00:08:11.689 in family they weren't married as a parent i'm 00:08:11.689 --> 00:08:15.930 choosing my kid over a relationship yeah i don't 00:08:15.930 --> 00:08:18.089 think i could do what the dad did the dad's doing 00:08:18.089 --> 00:08:20.730 it dirty like really the son's obviously not 00:08:20.730 --> 00:08:23.399 comfortable with it like Don't think I could 00:08:23.399 --> 00:08:25.839 do that to my kid if she dated someone for three 00:08:25.839 --> 00:08:29.680 years it ended But then I'm dating the dad of 00:08:29.680 --> 00:08:34.399 my daughter's ex -boyfriend That sucks. You want 00:08:34.399 --> 00:08:36.820 to you want to know something what this is a 00:08:36.820 --> 00:08:40.019 real thing. This is a real story. I Know a couple 00:08:40.019 --> 00:08:42.240 from high school. They were like a year or two 00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:46.019 older than me. No, they were dating Continued 00:08:46.019 --> 00:08:51.590 to date no The guy went on his mission. No His 00:08:51.590 --> 00:08:55.129 dad and her mom got married while he was on his 00:08:55.129 --> 00:09:00.070 mission He came home. No, and he married a stepsister 00:09:00.070 --> 00:09:07.149 You said it dead dead ass serious That's a true 00:09:07.149 --> 00:09:09.750 real story that that not even a story. That's 00:09:09.750 --> 00:09:12.309 that is people that I know are they still all 00:09:12.309 --> 00:09:15.929 together I Have no idea cuz I it's been a very 00:09:15.929 --> 00:09:22.309 long time. Oh No I didn't choose it for them. 00:09:22.710 --> 00:09:27.669 Stop! It wasn't me. Okay, good for them. This 00:09:27.669 --> 00:09:31.289 is the thing. I don't know. If you can't relate 00:09:31.289 --> 00:09:34.970 to the parents, then you can't relate to the 00:09:34.970 --> 00:09:36.330 parents. You're just thinking about it from the 00:09:36.330 --> 00:09:39.570 kid's perspective. But these parents are lonely 00:09:39.570 --> 00:09:42.210 adults in their 50s. They find somebody that 00:09:42.210 --> 00:09:46.210 they really vibe with and it's a foregone relationship 00:09:46.210 --> 00:09:49.370 in this post. It's not something that is like... 00:09:49.129 --> 00:09:51.830 They're not actively dating. They ended. They're 00:09:51.830 --> 00:09:54.289 not in each other's lives anymore. Yeah. But 00:09:54.289 --> 00:09:57.549 it's like you're bringing that back. Like I'm 00:09:57.549 --> 00:10:00.330 picturing like, I'm picturing like my ex and 00:10:00.330 --> 00:10:03.850 my mom dating my ex's dad. Like it's like bringing 00:10:03.850 --> 00:10:06.809 your good and be reconnected at that point again. 00:10:06.809 --> 00:10:08.830 And I would hate that. Like I would not like 00:10:08.830 --> 00:10:11.559 that. Yeah. It doesn't work for your life. It 00:10:11.559 --> 00:10:13.120 doesn't because your parents are still married. 00:10:13.159 --> 00:10:15.200 They've been married for 36 years and you can't 00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:17.679 even fathom your mom dating anybody anyway. But 00:10:17.679 --> 00:10:20.720 if she was actually single and lonely and sad, 00:10:20.820 --> 00:10:23.340 you might just feel different because it's about 00:10:23.340 --> 00:10:29.139 the fact that they found someone. I -26 lost 00:10:29.139 --> 00:10:31.159 my mother to cancer when I was eight and I've 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:33.740 always had an absent father. I only found out 00:10:33.740 --> 00:10:36.539 who he was when I was 13 and even then he did 00:10:36.539 --> 00:10:38.440 not want custody of me and forcing me to stay 00:10:38.440 --> 00:10:41.440 in the foster system until I was 18. Over my 00:10:41.440 --> 00:10:43.480 whole life I have had about five conversations 00:10:43.480 --> 00:10:45.580 with him give or take. He is like a stranger 00:10:45.580 --> 00:10:48.240 to me. He appears once in a blue moon to ask 00:10:48.240 --> 00:10:50.480 for money or something along those lines. It 00:10:50.480 --> 00:10:52.919 doesn't really bother me anymore. I've just learned 00:10:52.919 --> 00:10:54.960 to accept it now but I don't like talking about 00:10:54.960 --> 00:10:56.860 it so to avoid that conversation with people 00:10:56.860 --> 00:10:59.679 I usually just say both my parents are dead. 00:11:00.539 --> 00:11:02.600 This leads me to a year and a half ago when I 00:11:02.600 --> 00:11:05.139 had just started dating my boyfriend 25m and 00:11:05.139 --> 00:11:07.500 like usual I had just told him my parents were 00:11:07.500 --> 00:11:10.490 dead. but the other day my dad showed up at my 00:11:10.490 --> 00:11:13.230 door. I still don't know how he knows where I 00:11:13.230 --> 00:11:15.889 live and asked for a hundred dollars except my 00:11:15.889 --> 00:11:17.830 boyfriend was there and he obviously found out 00:11:17.830 --> 00:11:21.210 my dad was not dead. This led to a long conversation 00:11:21.210 --> 00:11:22.850 with him that night where I explained the whole 00:11:22.850 --> 00:11:25.529 situation. He said this was a breach of trust 00:11:25.529 --> 00:11:27.610 between us since I lied about my dad and that 00:11:27.610 --> 00:11:29.970 he needed some space to rethink our relationship 00:11:29.970 --> 00:11:32.710 but he doesn't think he will leave me. I felt 00:11:32.710 --> 00:11:35.029 so shitty and that I should have told him earlier 00:11:35.029 --> 00:11:37.509 but I'm going to be honest I just didn't think. 00:11:38.029 --> 00:11:42.350 So, am I the a -hole? That, it just sucks. Yeah. 00:11:42.509 --> 00:11:45.669 Like, she doesn't have a dad. This dude is absent, 00:11:45.710 --> 00:11:48.250 he's a loser, he lets her stay in foster care, 00:11:48.470 --> 00:11:50.970 and he shows up and asks for money. I don't blame 00:11:50.970 --> 00:11:52.730 her for saying that the dude was dead and gone. 00:11:52.929 --> 00:11:57.110 Yeah, no. Like that is, that's pain, that's trauma, 00:11:57.590 --> 00:11:59.990 and to think that she has to deal with this being 00:11:59.990 --> 00:12:03.370 put in a frickin' blender, she's a human pretzel, 00:12:03.889 --> 00:12:05.950 like, oh, he thinks that my dad's dead and now 00:12:05.950 --> 00:12:07.840 he's here asking for money, it's like, She feels 00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:09.259 like shit because of this. She feels like shit 00:12:09.259 --> 00:12:11.460 because of this. And none of it's her fault. 00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:14.779 Yeah. I don't think, I mean, yeah, she, under 00:12:14.779 --> 00:12:17.279 perfect circumstances, she could have been like, 00:12:17.399 --> 00:12:20.759 yeah, my dad is actually alive somewhere. Don't 00:12:20.759 --> 00:12:23.120 know what he's doing. He let me stay in foster 00:12:23.120 --> 00:12:25.559 care. I just think when you first meet somebody, 00:12:25.820 --> 00:12:28.659 you don't always want to go and be like, yeah, 00:12:28.659 --> 00:12:31.899 I'm an incredibly traumatized person for X, Y, 00:12:31.899 --> 00:12:35.789 and Z reason. Like. That's not that's not how 00:12:35.789 --> 00:12:38.470 you do it. So it would be much easier even though 00:12:38.470 --> 00:12:41.610 saying both my parents are dead like that's Pretty 00:12:41.610 --> 00:12:44.809 striking anyway. Yeah. Well, there is an update 00:12:44.809 --> 00:12:49.350 Yes, it says my boyfriend texts me five minutes 00:12:49.350 --> 00:12:51.610 ago asking to talk So we are going to have a 00:12:51.610 --> 00:12:54.049 full in -depth conversation a month after work 00:12:54.049 --> 00:12:58.309 and I'll update again then smiley face So this 00:12:58.309 --> 00:13:00.990 is update two and it's the last update before 00:13:00.990 --> 00:13:02.769 I get to the update. I would like to clear things 00:13:02.769 --> 00:13:06.299 up I have only given money to my dad once, when 00:13:06.299 --> 00:13:08.480 I was still desperate for his love and acceptance, 00:13:08.559 --> 00:13:11.820 but he did not get any money this time. 2. Despite 00:13:11.820 --> 00:13:13.960 his confusion, my boyfriend stepped in to defend 00:13:13.960 --> 00:13:16.320 me and get my dad to leave, and it was only after 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:19.139 my dad left he asked me about it. Now onto the 00:13:19.139 --> 00:13:21.460 update. My boyfriend told me that all of the 00:13:21.460 --> 00:13:22.980 sudden information, along with the knowledge 00:13:22.980 --> 00:13:25.679 I hadn't told him the truth, was very overwhelming 00:13:25.679 --> 00:13:27.799 and he just needed some space to not say the 00:13:27.799 --> 00:13:30.460 wrong thing. He also said that he got why I lied 00:13:30.460 --> 00:13:33.279 initially, and he wasn't mad that I lied, more 00:13:33.279 --> 00:13:35.379 hurt that I felt like I couldn't tell him about 00:13:35.379 --> 00:13:37.500 it. He also mentioned that he couldn't be there 00:13:37.500 --> 00:13:40.179 for me if he didn't know what was going on. The 00:13:40.179 --> 00:13:42.580 conversation ended in tears and it's the most 00:13:42.580 --> 00:13:45.860 vulnerable I have been in front of someone. He 00:13:45.860 --> 00:13:48.600 was very understanding and we have decided to 00:13:48.600 --> 00:13:51.019 draw a line in the sand and start again, if that 00:13:51.019 --> 00:13:53.480 makes sense. I have also looked into therapy 00:13:53.480 --> 00:13:56.200 for my childhood trauma and all in all, I'm using 00:13:56.200 --> 00:13:59.120 this as an opportunity to better myself and heal 00:13:59.120 --> 00:14:01.940 fully. Thank you all for your kind comments. 00:14:02.799 --> 00:14:08.259 Go therapy. We love it. No, that's, hey, that's 00:14:08.259 --> 00:14:12.740 great. I love how he handled that. Very, very 00:14:12.740 --> 00:14:15.600 relatable in the sense that you're like, why 00:14:15.600 --> 00:14:17.779 the hell could you not tell me the truth about 00:14:17.779 --> 00:14:21.360 your dad? Why did you have to lie? Yeah. But 00:14:21.360 --> 00:14:25.159 I feel like the boyfriend was so, so understanding. 00:14:25.340 --> 00:14:28.620 He was very like, I don't know, I felt like very 00:14:28.620 --> 00:14:30.879 mature about his response. Like I needed space 00:14:30.879 --> 00:14:33.399 so I didn't say the wrong thing. Like I feel 00:14:33.399 --> 00:14:35.539 like some people like, hey, probably me honestly 00:14:35.539 --> 00:14:37.620 at that point would have like lashed out in that 00:14:37.620 --> 00:14:39.679 moment. Like, what the frick? Why are you lying? 00:14:39.779 --> 00:14:42.399 You're a liar. And instead he was like, okay, 00:14:42.460 --> 00:14:44.720 there's obviously something really sad about 00:14:44.720 --> 00:14:47.220 this. So I don't want to hurt her. So I'm going 00:14:47.220 --> 00:14:49.179 to step away and really think about what the 00:14:49.179 --> 00:14:51.879 frick just happened. I don't know if that makes 00:14:51.879 --> 00:14:54.639 sense, but it definitely makes sense. And it's 00:14:54.639 --> 00:14:56.679 that is that's the best part about it. He very 00:14:56.679 --> 00:15:00.179 clearly has high emotional intelligence because 00:15:00.179 --> 00:15:02.940 he even the way that she wrote it is he's like, 00:15:02.940 --> 00:15:05.159 I just felt overwhelmed and I needed to step 00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:07.840 away so I didn't say the wrong thing. Yeah. Like 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:10.759 hats off to that guy because handled it correctly. 00:15:11.220 --> 00:15:13.320 It would be overwhelming. That'd be so jarring. 00:15:13.419 --> 00:15:15.279 That's such a massive thing to find out about. 00:15:16.059 --> 00:15:19.590 Like. Oh, you you lied to me about your. dad 00:15:19.590 --> 00:15:22.129 actually being alive and it's actually this crappy 00:15:22.129 --> 00:15:25.049 thing, I would have loved to just be there for 00:15:25.049 --> 00:15:28.269 you for that. Yeah. It's cool. I love this story. 00:15:28.429 --> 00:15:31.049 I love that he handles it like a champ. I love 00:15:31.049 --> 00:15:36.190 that it points OP to therapy. Yes. Which is great. 00:15:37.750 --> 00:15:42.190 And big loser in the story, dad. Bye, dad. He 00:15:42.190 --> 00:15:44.490 is the dadliest catch. Just one of those ones 00:15:44.490 --> 00:15:46.210 that you toss right back in when you reel them 00:15:46.210 --> 00:15:50.669 in. Yeah. I love it. All right, it's your turn. 00:15:50.970 --> 00:15:53.429 Yeah, it is. Should we do this? All right, this 00:15:53.429 --> 00:15:57.590 one comes from best of Redditor updates. Am I 00:15:57.590 --> 00:16:00.190 overreacting? My husband refuses to change our 00:16:00.190 --> 00:16:04.610 baby's diapers. No, you're not overreacting. 00:16:05.149 --> 00:16:08.950 My husband 23M and I22F have a beautiful eight 00:16:08.950 --> 00:16:11.250 week old daughter. He seems somewhat excited 00:16:11.250 --> 00:16:13.190 to be a dad throughout my pregnancy, but I feel 00:16:13.190 --> 00:16:15.110 like maybe he wasn't as excited as I thought 00:16:15.110 --> 00:16:17.750 slash hoped. We had a miscarriage in November 00:16:17.750 --> 00:16:22.470 of 2023 frowny face and he seemed more excited 00:16:22.470 --> 00:16:24.970 during that pregnancy than he did this time. 00:16:25.110 --> 00:16:27.029 Throughout the pregnancy he would say he's excited 00:16:27.029 --> 00:16:28.889 but that he doesn't want to change diapers because 00:16:28.889 --> 00:16:31.409 it's gross. I had a talk with him about how I 00:16:31.409 --> 00:16:33.789 understand why it can be intimidating because 00:16:33.789 --> 00:16:36.070 he is a man and she is a baby girl and she has 00:16:36.070 --> 00:16:37.929 different parts than he does and it can feel 00:16:37.929 --> 00:16:40.190 intimidating to clean those parts correctly because 00:16:40.190 --> 00:16:43.179 he has never changed a diaper before. I reassured 00:16:43.179 --> 00:16:45.000 him that I would be here to help and show him 00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:47.139 what to do. He even practiced putting a diaper 00:16:47.139 --> 00:16:50.539 on a stuffed teddy bear before I had the baby. 00:16:51.080 --> 00:16:52.919 I thought he would get over it after I had the 00:16:52.919 --> 00:16:55.460 baby, but he did not. He refuses to even be in 00:16:55.460 --> 00:16:57.759 the room while I change her. Every time I bring 00:16:57.759 --> 00:17:00.000 it up and ask, so when do you want to start changing 00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:02.320 her diaper? He just says, we're doing this again. 00:17:02.659 --> 00:17:05.460 I do not regret having my baby. I've always wanted 00:17:05.460 --> 00:17:08.440 a baby and was definitely ready, but I feel like 00:17:08.440 --> 00:17:11.190 he was not ready. Am I overreacting? How can 00:17:11.190 --> 00:17:13.509 I talk with him about this? What is wrong with 00:17:13.509 --> 00:17:18.329 this man? He's giving me real creep vibes. Hundo 00:17:18.329 --> 00:17:21.410 P. What are you concerned about, bud? Yeah, what's 00:17:21.410 --> 00:17:23.890 the malfunction? No, actually, like you can wipe 00:17:23.890 --> 00:17:26.009 your own butt, you can wipe your own babies. 00:17:26.650 --> 00:17:30.609 Tell him. So he's 23, she's 24. So they're relatively 00:17:30.609 --> 00:17:34.289 young. That's so young, gava kid. This is part 00:17:34.289 --> 00:17:36.710 of the first post. It says, edit to add. I asked 00:17:36.710 --> 00:17:38.369 him what was so gross about changing diapers 00:17:38.369 --> 00:17:40.900 and he said everything. the different parts and 00:17:40.900 --> 00:17:42.480 then kind of trailed off that there was more 00:17:42.480 --> 00:17:44.559 to that sentence than what was said. He said 00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:47.660 that she is never away from me, so why should 00:17:47.660 --> 00:17:49.680 he have to do it? The different parts and then 00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:51.460 kind of trailed off like there was more to that 00:17:51.460 --> 00:17:53.480 sentence than what was said. He said that she 00:17:53.480 --> 00:17:55.799 is never away from me, so why should he have 00:17:55.799 --> 00:17:57.539 to do it? He said, why would I take her from 00:17:57.539 --> 00:17:59.279 you to change her and then bring her back when 00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:02.440 you could just do it? Dude, this guy sucks. And 00:18:02.440 --> 00:18:04.779 I said, because you're her dad. What if something 00:18:04.779 --> 00:18:06.539 happened to me or what if I had to leave her 00:18:06.539 --> 00:18:08.859 with you for an hour or two? And he said at that 00:18:08.859 --> 00:18:10.660 point, he would look it up on YouTube and wouldn't 00:18:10.660 --> 00:18:12.700 leave her sitting in a soiled diaper. Are you 00:18:12.700 --> 00:18:16.319 kidding? No. You're kidding. I wish I was. The 00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:19.980 first update comes one day later. So, oh, he 00:18:19.980 --> 00:18:23.319 says, so I read all 416 comments on the previous 00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:25.500 post. You all collectively agreed that I was 00:18:25.500 --> 00:18:27.759 not overreacting, that my husband is a shitty 00:18:27.759 --> 00:18:30.319 father and husband, that I married a loser and 00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:31.900 that I should leave if he doesn't change his 00:18:31.900 --> 00:18:38.779 ways. So after he got home from work last night 00:18:38.779 --> 00:18:40.700 the baby needed to be changed so I asked him 00:18:40.700 --> 00:18:42.720 to come into the other room and simply observe 00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:45.299 while I changed the diaper and he agreed. I said 00:18:45.299 --> 00:18:47.259 he could observe a few diaper changes and then 00:18:47.259 --> 00:18:49.220 when it was just a plain pee diaper I would let 00:18:49.220 --> 00:18:51.140 him know that it's his turn and he once again 00:18:51.140 --> 00:18:53.819 argued about not wanting to change diapers. I 00:18:53.819 --> 00:18:55.559 told him that he will eventually have to suck 00:18:55.559 --> 00:18:57.799 it up because he is a parent now and if he didn't 00:18:57.799 --> 00:18:59.779 want to be a parent he shouldn't have agreed 00:18:59.779 --> 00:19:02.420 to become one. Yeah. He said he didn't want to 00:19:02.420 --> 00:19:04.839 be a dad as bad as I wanted him to be and that 00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:06.700 he only got me pregnant because I wanted to be 00:19:06.700 --> 00:19:12.779 a mom so bad. Oh this poor girl. I reminded him 00:19:12.779 --> 00:19:14.440 that he was the one that got the conversation 00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:16.799 about kids started several years ago when he 00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:19.220 said he wouldn't mind having a kid. He said yeah 00:19:19.220 --> 00:19:21.140 I wouldn't mind and then I cut him off and said 00:19:21.140 --> 00:19:23.660 but you only want the fun parts and not any of 00:19:23.660 --> 00:19:25.839 the gross non -fun parts. I told him that I'm 00:19:25.839 --> 00:19:27.759 on the verge of being burnt out and that I feel 00:19:27.759 --> 00:19:30.099 like a married single mom. He said I was bashing 00:19:30.099 --> 00:19:32.259 him and I said I wasn't bashing but simply pointing 00:19:32.259 --> 00:19:34.819 out the obvious. And then I left the room because 00:19:34.819 --> 00:19:37.039 the baby was crying to be fed. He joined me in 00:19:37.039 --> 00:19:38.900 the other room a few minutes later to apologize 00:19:38.900 --> 00:19:41.220 and restated that he just doesn't want to change 00:19:41.220 --> 00:19:43.400 diapers. I asked him what the issue is with changing 00:19:43.400 --> 00:19:45.240 diapers and he said he feels like a man shouldn't 00:19:45.240 --> 00:19:48.660 change a little girl's diapers. I'm disgusted. 00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:50.920 He's afraid people will see him as a pedophile. 00:19:51.480 --> 00:19:53.359 I told him nobody will see him as a pedophile 00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:55.799 because that is his child. It would be different 00:19:55.799 --> 00:19:57.819 if he volunteered to change a little girl that 00:19:57.819 --> 00:20:00.160 wasn't his child. I told him that he should start 00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:02.000 sooner rather than later because the diapers 00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:04.680 won't get any easier, they will only become nastier. 00:20:05.059 --> 00:20:06.900 In the end he agreed to observe a few diaper 00:20:06.900 --> 00:20:09.359 changes to learn what to do and then start with 00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:11.460 pee diapers and maybe eventually change poopy 00:20:11.460 --> 00:20:13.640 diapers. He seems to have a serious issue with 00:20:13.640 --> 00:20:15.500 the poop part, but I told him he could get some 00:20:15.500 --> 00:20:18.700 rubber gloves and some masks and put peppermint 00:20:18.700 --> 00:20:20.779 oil on the mask so he won't have to smell it. 00:20:20.980 --> 00:20:22.680 One of you recommended the peppermint oil on 00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:25.019 the mask. Good idea, by the way. I will be asking 00:20:25.019 --> 00:20:26.859 him to join me for every diaper change between 00:20:26.859 --> 00:20:28.339 the time he gets home from work and the time 00:20:28.339 --> 00:20:30.460 we go to bed. Since I am a stay at home mom and 00:20:30.460 --> 00:20:32.440 he works, I will not ask him to get up during 00:20:32.440 --> 00:20:35.079 the night unless he just wants to. I know some 00:20:35.079 --> 00:20:37.240 slash most of you will probably not like that, 00:20:37.259 --> 00:20:39.410 but for now... That is what we will do until 00:20:39.410 --> 00:20:41.390 he gets comfortable with daytime diaper changes. 00:20:41.630 --> 00:20:43.589 In a few days, on a night where he doesn't have 00:20:43.589 --> 00:20:45.490 to work the next day, I will ask him to get up 00:20:45.490 --> 00:20:47.190 and join us for the midnight diaper changes. 00:20:47.890 --> 00:20:49.630 I hope he will change and become a more active 00:20:49.630 --> 00:20:51.670 parent in our baby's life. To all of you who 00:20:51.670 --> 00:20:54.009 said I should leave because being a single mom 00:20:54.009 --> 00:20:56.289 is better than being a married single mom, I 00:20:56.289 --> 00:20:58.089 would rather be a married single mom who doesn't 00:20:58.089 --> 00:20:59.890 have to leave my baby with the stranger and go 00:20:59.890 --> 00:21:02.670 to work. At least this way, he goes to work and 00:21:02.670 --> 00:21:04.630 makes money and I get to stay home with my baby. 00:21:04.890 --> 00:21:06.910 I will keep pushing him and working on him to 00:21:06.910 --> 00:21:09.269 make him a more active parent. I know we are 00:21:09.269 --> 00:21:11.190 too young to be having children, but I felt like 00:21:11.190 --> 00:21:13.569 I was way more ready. My oldest sister has special 00:21:13.569 --> 00:21:15.809 needs to the highest degree and has to wear diapers, 00:21:16.170 --> 00:21:18.470 so all my life I've been changing diapers. I've 00:21:18.470 --> 00:21:20.390 helped several family members with their babies 00:21:20.390 --> 00:21:23.369 from newborn age to two or three. So I've helped 00:21:23.369 --> 00:21:26.509 raise several babies, around six babies in parentheses. 00:21:26.829 --> 00:21:29.890 Wow. So I knew being a mom was all I've ever 00:21:29.890 --> 00:21:31.690 wanted, and I was just waiting for him to be 00:21:31.690 --> 00:21:33.549 ready, and I thought he was. But I guess not. 00:21:33.750 --> 00:21:35.670 Thank you for reading this update in the original 00:21:35.670 --> 00:21:38.230 post. I appreciate all the advice and help. I 00:21:38.230 --> 00:21:41.039 apologize for my shit show of a life, lol. I 00:21:41.039 --> 00:21:43.559 like I honestly feel like I want to cry because 00:21:43.559 --> 00:21:46.480 the way I'm taking all this is that he is a pile 00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:49.900 of oil and to steer clear of her daughter anywhere 00:21:49.900 --> 00:21:53.079 near him and do not have him do the diapers at 00:21:53.079 --> 00:21:56.200 this point like I could be totally totally went 00:21:56.200 --> 00:21:58.400 thousand percent wrong with that and this guy 00:21:58.400 --> 00:22:02.819 is truly just so what he is saying You know, 00:22:02.819 --> 00:22:05.900 it's true. But I just do not trust that. I think 00:22:05.900 --> 00:22:08.740 that is so weird. I don't know. You tell me you 00:22:08.740 --> 00:22:12.019 have a daughter. You're a male. You never have 00:22:12.019 --> 00:22:15.039 changed a diaper before your kid. So like one, 00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:17.819 I never got pushback from you changing a diaper. 00:22:17.980 --> 00:22:19.960 Do you think this is weird? Do you think it's 00:22:19.960 --> 00:22:23.140 a red flag? I don't. At first, when I first started 00:22:23.140 --> 00:22:25.180 reading the story, I thought there's a possibility 00:22:25.180 --> 00:22:27.539 that he's a creep or something weird like that. 00:22:28.019 --> 00:22:30.559 But the more that we read about him, it's just 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:33.339 that he is just a man child. He's just one of 00:22:33.339 --> 00:22:36.539 those dudes that like doesn't want to do any 00:22:36.539 --> 00:22:38.259 of the stuff that he doesn't want to do. And 00:22:38.259 --> 00:22:40.480 there's a last update. So I'm going to read it 00:22:40.480 --> 00:22:42.839 and it gives more context to how he is as a person. 00:22:42.839 --> 00:22:46.180 Okay. But it's in the comments that people are 00:22:46.180 --> 00:22:49.160 making about him. It is just truly that she is 00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:51.519 in a horrible relationship with a loser of a 00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:54.319 guy that is not equipped to be a father. Being 00:22:54.319 --> 00:22:56.619 a father means you do the things that you don't 00:22:56.619 --> 00:23:00.359 want to do. And guess what? Who likes Poopy diapers, 00:23:00.619 --> 00:23:04.140 no one. Guys don't like poopy diapers. We never 00:23:04.140 --> 00:23:06.359 will. It becomes something that you just deal 00:23:06.359 --> 00:23:08.039 with and it's like, whatever, it's not a big 00:23:08.039 --> 00:23:11.240 deal. But like, yeah, women's parts are different. 00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:13.859 So guess what? Changing a poopy diaper on a newborn 00:23:13.859 --> 00:23:16.240 baby, it's intimidating at first, because you're 00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:18.460 like, I want to make sure that she's good, that 00:23:18.460 --> 00:23:21.799 she's clean. Everything's good. And so I can 00:23:21.799 --> 00:23:24.299 only relate to the part of being like, it's something 00:23:24.299 --> 00:23:26.009 I have to learn. I have to... figure out how 00:23:26.009 --> 00:23:29.369 to do it. But zero reluctance whatsoever because 00:23:29.369 --> 00:23:32.190 you're a dad. That is your child. It doesn't 00:23:32.190 --> 00:23:34.269 matter what it is. If it's running through a 00:23:34.269 --> 00:23:36.490 freaking brick wall, you do that because that's 00:23:36.490 --> 00:23:38.910 what dads do. Well, here's the update from one 00:23:38.910 --> 00:23:40.809 and a half months later. So it's been about a 00:23:40.809 --> 00:23:42.730 month. I've talked it over with him again and 00:23:42.730 --> 00:23:44.809 again. We've argued about it a few times, the 00:23:44.809 --> 00:23:46.970 most recent argument being a few days ago. He 00:23:46.970 --> 00:23:48.670 watched me change a handful of diapers and I 00:23:48.670 --> 00:23:50.710 kept reminding him that he needs to do it and 00:23:50.710 --> 00:23:52.569 that he can start with pee diapers and eventually 00:23:52.569 --> 00:23:55.150 work his way to the gross poopy diapers. I started 00:23:55.150 --> 00:23:57.109 small. When I would change her, I would get her 00:23:57.109 --> 00:23:59.630 all cleaned up and when the only step left was 00:23:59.630 --> 00:24:01.269 putting on a clean diaper, I would bring her 00:24:01.269 --> 00:24:03.769 to him with no diaper on and lay her on the bed 00:24:03.769 --> 00:24:06.329 and him the clean diaper and say, here, do it. 00:24:06.549 --> 00:24:08.950 Of course he complained, but I made him do it. 00:24:09.069 --> 00:24:11.230 After a few times of that, I brought it up again. 00:24:11.410 --> 00:24:13.269 That was when we had the most recent argument. 00:24:13.410 --> 00:24:15.819 We argued for a few minutes. He gave the same 00:24:15.819 --> 00:24:18.420 BS excuses about how it's gross and how he doesn't 00:24:18.420 --> 00:24:20.500 want to do it and I reminded him that being an 00:24:20.500 --> 00:24:22.720 adult and especially a parent means doing things 00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:24.920 you don't want to do sometimes. He feels like 00:24:24.920 --> 00:24:26.940 just because he goes to work he is exempt from 00:24:26.940 --> 00:24:29.500 housework and taking care of our baby. I reminded 00:24:29.500 --> 00:24:32.000 him that I can't do 100 % of the baby care and 00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:34.259 100 % of the housework. If he expects me to do 00:24:34.259 --> 00:24:36.500 100 % of the housework, then we will be a team 00:24:36.500 --> 00:24:38.640 and he will help with baby care. If he refuses 00:24:38.640 --> 00:24:40.319 to help with the baby, then he needs to help 00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:42.420 with the housework. The argument didn't end well 00:24:42.420 --> 00:24:44.539 and I gave him the cold shoulder and some attitude 00:24:44.539 --> 00:24:46.960 for a few days. I also completely stopped doing 00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:49.849 housework. Laundry was piling up. Sink full of 00:24:49.849 --> 00:24:52.170 dirty dishes. The house was a wreck. It was bothering 00:24:52.170 --> 00:24:54.730 me because I hate for it to look like that, but 00:24:54.730 --> 00:24:56.630 I knew I had to stand my ground. For a few days 00:24:56.630 --> 00:24:58.970 I did nothing but baby care. Then yesterday he 00:24:58.970 --> 00:25:00.930 did a few loads of laundry because we barely 00:25:00.930 --> 00:25:03.049 had anything clean left. He finished eating his 00:25:03.049 --> 00:25:05.089 dinner before me. I asked him to take her so 00:25:05.089 --> 00:25:07.109 I could finish eating. He agreed and took her 00:25:07.109 --> 00:25:09.049 out of the room. A few minutes later he pokes 00:25:09.049 --> 00:25:11.569 his head out of the room. holding a diaper and 00:25:11.569 --> 00:25:13.529 asks, is this the right diaper? There were two 00:25:13.529 --> 00:25:15.210 different brands on the changing table and we 00:25:15.210 --> 00:25:17.230 had to size up recently because our little lady 00:25:17.230 --> 00:25:19.849 is a chonk, so I guess he got confused. I said 00:25:19.849 --> 00:25:21.829 yes and immediately followed him into the other 00:25:21.829 --> 00:25:23.950 room to observe the diaper change and give direction 00:25:23.950 --> 00:25:26.289 if needed. He did a decent job on his own without 00:25:26.289 --> 00:25:28.250 any help. I was pleasantly surprised that he 00:25:28.250 --> 00:25:30.970 did it without me asking or arguing. I started 00:25:30.970 --> 00:25:33.069 to say thank you but decided against it because 00:25:33.069 --> 00:25:35.150 it's not like he's doing me a favor. He's doing 00:25:35.150 --> 00:25:37.289 what a dad is supposed to do. So instead I gave 00:25:37.289 --> 00:25:40.240 him a fist bump and said good job. I asked him 00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:42.519 what made him decide to do it after all this 00:25:42.519 --> 00:25:44.700 time, and he said that he was tired of me being 00:25:44.700 --> 00:25:47.680 on his ass about it all the time. So I guess 00:25:47.680 --> 00:25:49.460 I will stay on his ass about it and make sure 00:25:49.460 --> 00:25:51.420 he continues on his path of improvement. Thank 00:25:51.420 --> 00:25:53.059 you all for all the advice and help you have 00:25:53.059 --> 00:25:55.359 given. I'm slightly happy with this recent improvement, 00:25:55.859 --> 00:25:57.759 but wish it had come a long way sooner. And then 00:25:57.759 --> 00:25:59.839 we've got comments. Let me find the best one. 00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:01.920 But he didn't realize he needs to participate. 00:26:02.339 --> 00:26:04.799 In her own words, he did it because, quote, he 00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:07.119 was tired of me being on his ass about it all 00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:10.029 the time. So now her solution is to quote, stay 00:26:10.029 --> 00:26:12.329 on his ass about it. So she gets to be a mother 00:26:12.329 --> 00:26:14.809 to a man child. I'm glad you're happy, OP, but 00:26:14.809 --> 00:26:16.750 I hope you have financial security for when you 00:26:16.750 --> 00:26:18.769 eventually get sick of mothering a grown adult. 00:26:19.210 --> 00:26:23.589 Literally, I'm like, oh my gosh. That's a great 00:26:23.589 --> 00:26:25.849 comment. OP responded to that. She said, thank 00:26:25.849 --> 00:26:28.170 you. I was almost ready to give up. I was tired 00:26:28.170 --> 00:26:30.309 of having the same argument over and over with 00:26:30.309 --> 00:26:32.509 no results. I mentioned staying with my parents 00:26:32.509 --> 00:26:34.390 and said I doubted he would even miss us and 00:26:34.390 --> 00:26:36.970 he said he would. So maybe the idea of us not 00:26:36.970 --> 00:26:39.049 being around made him sad and he decided to be 00:26:39.049 --> 00:26:41.990 an active parent. I'm not 100 % sure what happens 00:26:41.990 --> 00:26:44.210 in that man's brain, but as long as there's improvement, 00:26:44.289 --> 00:26:46.789 I won't question it. Wow. And there's a couple 00:26:46.789 --> 00:26:48.930 of others that are really good. I want to know 00:26:48.930 --> 00:26:50.970 what he thinks will happen if you leave him for 00:26:50.970 --> 00:26:53.359 being unsupportive. Will he just not see his 00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:55.119 daughter at all? Or will he have to step his 00:26:55.119 --> 00:26:56.900 ass up because no one else is there to do it 00:26:56.900 --> 00:26:59.039 for him? Maybe he needs a new perspective and 00:26:59.039 --> 00:27:00.980 you need a lunch date with friends. And then 00:27:00.980 --> 00:27:03.619 OP responds, We discussed potential divorce and 00:27:03.619 --> 00:27:05.480 I asked him how he thinks he will get to see 00:27:05.480 --> 00:27:07.619 her when he won't and doesn't know how to change 00:27:07.619 --> 00:27:10.319 her, bathe her, feed her, or rock her to sleep. 00:27:10.519 --> 00:27:12.359 He said he would do it if we divorced and I asked 00:27:12.359 --> 00:27:14.819 why he won't do it now and his dumbass response 00:27:14.819 --> 00:27:17.269 was Why would I do it when you can just do it? 00:27:17.390 --> 00:27:19.349 I know a lot of comments are saying that this 00:27:19.349 --> 00:27:21.809 isn't a win, but it is what it is. This girl, 00:27:22.509 --> 00:27:26.549 do better for your child. Holy shiz. What is 00:27:26.549 --> 00:27:29.109 sad, to me what's so sad about this is that she's 00:27:29.109 --> 00:27:31.289 a stay at home mom, and she's only staying with 00:27:31.289 --> 00:27:33.789 this loser because she feels trapped. Because 00:27:33.789 --> 00:27:36.369 if she does, this is the broken system that we 00:27:36.369 --> 00:27:39.950 live in. Like if she does leave him, then guess 00:27:39.950 --> 00:27:42.230 what? She has to go to work. She has to support 00:27:42.230 --> 00:27:45.420 herself, and then. Baby has to go to daycare. 00:27:45.680 --> 00:27:48.400 That's the only option. It is not the only option. 00:27:48.599 --> 00:27:51.359 It's not. She has family. She can move in with 00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:54.819 her family. She can go to school online. She 00:27:54.819 --> 00:27:57.019 can become a photographer. You choose your hours 00:27:57.019 --> 00:27:59.460 and get really, really good at it and you will 00:27:59.460 --> 00:28:02.319 1 ,000 % be able to afford living, especially 00:28:02.319 --> 00:28:04.500 if you live with your parents. So you think that's 00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:06.160 the solution. Just move in with your parents 00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:10.240 and become a photographer. At least you're not 00:28:10.240 --> 00:28:13.119 with a freaking dirt bag and he's not a dirt 00:28:13.119 --> 00:28:15.960 bag. He's just a loser No, he's not I don't there's 00:28:15.960 --> 00:28:17.960 nothing about this that says that he's a pedophile. 00:28:17.960 --> 00:28:20.279 You can still take it that way But the bottom 00:28:20.279 --> 00:28:23.240 line is is that he's just he's just doesn't want 00:28:23.240 --> 00:28:25.400 to do the hard things He's like probably one 00:28:25.400 --> 00:28:28.859 of those silver spoon kids that just If he doesn't 00:28:28.859 --> 00:28:32.279 want to do it, he's not gonna do it. No, I that's 00:28:32.279 --> 00:28:36.839 so extreme how he is it's You have friends that 00:28:36.839 --> 00:28:40.380 are that type of what you're? describing and 00:28:40.380 --> 00:28:43.920 not one of them would say, I will never change 00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:47.359 my daughter's diaper. Okay, so not one of them. 00:28:47.680 --> 00:28:49.740 I will agree to disagree with you. You're taking 00:28:49.740 --> 00:28:52.759 such a firm stance on it. I think the guy's just 00:28:52.759 --> 00:28:55.819 pathetic. Okay. I think he's just a loser that 00:28:55.819 --> 00:28:58.319 and she's enabling the behavior to the extent 00:28:58.319 --> 00:29:00.400 that she's like it is what it is. It's a win. 00:29:00.460 --> 00:29:03.349 The fact that The fact that he changed the diaper 00:29:03.349 --> 00:29:05.150 a couple of times, like I'll take it for what 00:29:05.150 --> 00:29:07.309 it is because I don't want to be a single mom 00:29:07.309 --> 00:29:09.349 that has to work and put my kid in daycare. This 00:29:09.349 --> 00:29:13.130 is so crazy to me. This is so mind boggling. 00:29:13.349 --> 00:29:16.569 But you know what? I'm not always right. So and 00:29:16.569 --> 00:29:20.990 I pray I am so wrong on this one. I pray that 00:29:20.990 --> 00:29:23.529 you are right. Well, I'll tell you this. If there 00:29:23.529 --> 00:29:25.269 was an update, I wouldn't even want to know it 00:29:25.269 --> 00:29:27.990 at this point. No, the guy's a loser. All I would 00:29:27.990 --> 00:29:29.869 want to know is that she finally left him and 00:29:29.869 --> 00:29:32.309 that she's either happy single or she's found 00:29:32.309 --> 00:29:35.630 a guy that can just simply contribute. Yes. So 00:29:35.630 --> 00:29:37.970 here's here's one last one. Why would I do it 00:29:37.970 --> 00:29:39.930 if you can just do it? Do you see how foolish 00:29:39.930 --> 00:29:42.089 that is? Why would I be married to a man making 00:29:42.089 --> 00:29:44.509 more work for me and contributing nothing but 00:29:44.509 --> 00:29:46.910 a paycheck and a bad attitude? I can avoid all 00:29:46.910 --> 00:29:49.410 of that mess you create, have my own paycheck 00:29:49.410 --> 00:29:51.569 and my daughter and I can live without the extra 00:29:51.569 --> 00:29:53.619 work and complaining you provide. Seriously, 00:29:53.660 --> 00:29:55.660 what did he expect his role was in a marriage? 00:29:55.920 --> 00:29:58.480 I'm single at 40 and it sucks I dearly wanted 00:29:58.480 --> 00:30:00.980 a husband and kids But every single relationship 00:30:00.980 --> 00:30:03.119 got to this point point where I had to look at 00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:05.240 the man in my life and ask What the F is the 00:30:05.240 --> 00:30:07.940 point of view? And there isn't a single one I 00:30:07.940 --> 00:30:10.319 regret leaving F being someone's kitchen appliance 00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:13.920 for life. Let's use your name username's name. 00:30:14.180 --> 00:30:21.380 The swear jar is my 401k Oh my gosh, that's hilarious. 00:30:21.619 --> 00:30:24.579 She's probably making... That is so clever. That's 00:30:24.579 --> 00:30:27.740 a great one. Shout out to her. I hope she finds 00:30:27.740 --> 00:30:30.259 us. I hope she finds us too, and I hope she finds 00:30:30.259 --> 00:30:32.480 a man because she's single and 40 with no kids. 00:30:32.920 --> 00:30:35.440 We know a couple. And she's obviously out here 00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:38.319 just crafting up Reddit replies. And usernames. 00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:41.279 Yeah, that too. OP responded to that and said, 00:30:41.440 --> 00:30:43.440 I'm almost to that point. If he doesn't get his 00:30:43.440 --> 00:30:45.420 shit together and continue improving, then I'm 00:30:45.420 --> 00:30:47.680 done. My mom has a spare room and would love 00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:49.460 nothing more than getting to see her grandbaby 00:30:49.460 --> 00:30:52.200 on a daily basis. Yeah, thank you. I may buy 00:30:52.200 --> 00:30:56.559 myself a Canon T7i and I'm gonna go be a photographer. 00:30:57.480 --> 00:31:00.940 Facts, do it. I encourage it. Wow, what a crazy 00:31:00.940 --> 00:31:04.299 story, Joe. Nice work. Thanks. Alright, here's 00:31:04.299 --> 00:31:07.140 my story and this is the last story. Am I the 00:31:07.140 --> 00:31:09.920 a -hole for getting mad at a comment my husband's 00:31:09.920 --> 00:31:13.579 grandpa made? My husband, M25 and I, F25, have 00:31:13.579 --> 00:31:15.789 been married for some time now. When we were 00:31:15.789 --> 00:31:17.690 first dating, he told me he was from the southern 00:31:17.690 --> 00:31:19.769 part of the United States and assured me that 00:31:19.769 --> 00:31:22.170 his family would welcome me. He did this because 00:31:22.170 --> 00:31:24.210 I'm Puerto Rican and I was a bit worried about 00:31:24.210 --> 00:31:26.049 how they would treat me. The first time I met 00:31:26.049 --> 00:31:28.089 his family while we were dating, everything went 00:31:28.089 --> 00:31:31.309 well except with his grandpa. He has or is starting 00:31:31.309 --> 00:31:33.589 to have dementia, if I'm not mistaken, so he 00:31:33.589 --> 00:31:36.390 isn't always mentally well. Before all that happened, 00:31:36.430 --> 00:31:38.549 he worked from the ground up to be where he is 00:31:38.549 --> 00:31:41.390 at today. However, he wasn't the best boss, father 00:31:41.390 --> 00:31:43.839 or husband. This means that he would always make 00:31:43.839 --> 00:31:46.160 jokes on the expense of other people including 00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:48.480 his grandchildren. I guess the dementia hasn't 00:31:48.480 --> 00:31:50.400 messed that part up because when we first met 00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:52.740 he joked that I could have chosen someone better 00:31:52.740 --> 00:31:54.859 to which I kind of laughed but told him that 00:31:54.859 --> 00:31:57.700 I chose a good person. Then later he blatantly 00:31:57.700 --> 00:32:00.079 asked my husband why he didn't bring home a blonde. 00:32:00.339 --> 00:32:02.500 I have dark brown hair and light brown skin. 00:32:03.019 --> 00:32:05.240 I felt weird hearing that but decided to ignore 00:32:05.240 --> 00:32:08.230 it and so did my husband. My husband later apologized 00:32:08.230 --> 00:32:10.450 to me for not saying something to his grandpa. 00:32:10.789 --> 00:32:12.829 We decided to host Father's Day at our house. 00:32:13.130 --> 00:32:15.210 We recently moved to my husband's hometown so 00:32:15.210 --> 00:32:17.329 we get to see his family more. Because we are 00:32:17.329 --> 00:32:19.230 pregnant with our first child and wanted to tell 00:32:19.230 --> 00:32:21.630 my husband's family the gender. While we were 00:32:21.630 --> 00:32:23.269 eating we asked my sister -in -law if she could 00:32:23.269 --> 00:32:25.450 do a cute video asking everyone what they thought 00:32:25.450 --> 00:32:27.549 the baby would be. She started recording and 00:32:27.549 --> 00:32:29.849 when she got to her grandpa he first stayed quiet. 00:32:29.970 --> 00:32:31.849 Then she asked again what he thought the baby 00:32:31.849 --> 00:32:34.809 would be and he said, it's a monkey. At first 00:32:34.809 --> 00:32:36.869 I did not understand at all what he said but 00:32:36.869 --> 00:32:39.490 I saw that everyone laughed so I assumed it wasn't 00:32:39.490 --> 00:32:41.970 anything bad. Then they asked him again and he 00:32:41.970 --> 00:32:44.549 said he thought it would be a boy. Later on, 00:32:44.630 --> 00:32:46.630 I rewatched the video and finally understood 00:32:46.630 --> 00:32:49.109 what he said. I began to feel conflicted because 00:32:49.109 --> 00:32:51.390 now it's the second time he has said a weird 00:32:51.390 --> 00:32:54.029 comment and nobody thought it was weird. I decided 00:32:54.029 --> 00:32:55.849 to ask my husband what he thought about and he 00:32:55.849 --> 00:32:58.349 said his grandpa was just joking. I told him 00:32:58.349 --> 00:33:00.650 that maybe he was, but it's the second time he's 00:33:00.650 --> 00:33:03.009 made a weird comment when it comes to us. He 00:33:03.009 --> 00:33:04.930 told me that his grandpa is in his 80s and has 00:33:04.930 --> 00:33:07.430 always made fun of everyone. I told him that 00:33:07.430 --> 00:33:09.450 just because he has always done that and everyone 00:33:09.450 --> 00:33:12.140 thinks it's the norm, it is not okay. He told 00:33:12.140 --> 00:33:14.099 me he couldn't understand why I was upset by 00:33:14.099 --> 00:33:16.359 a joke to which I replied that maybe it's because 00:33:16.359 --> 00:33:18.380 they are from the South and they are racist. 00:33:18.799 --> 00:33:20.779 Now he's upset and thinks I accused his whole 00:33:20.779 --> 00:33:23.279 family of being racist since they left. Am I 00:33:23.279 --> 00:33:25.539 the a -hole for reacting that way and saying 00:33:25.539 --> 00:33:28.279 those things? Oh, boy. Oh, there's so much to 00:33:28.279 --> 00:33:32.079 unpack here. Yeah, I kind of feel like sick and 00:33:32.079 --> 00:33:35.180 sad about it. Well, of course. Yeah, of course. 00:33:35.259 --> 00:33:37.759 Like she has every right to feel sad and to question 00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:39.680 it. And hopefully this doesn't offend anyone, 00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:43.160 but. Reality is like as generations have gone 00:33:43.160 --> 00:33:46.119 on people that are our age I feel like what would 00:33:46.119 --> 00:33:49.859 be racism is very it's it's a lot more rare like 00:33:49.859 --> 00:33:52.380 it's not people are not blatantly racist you 00:33:52.380 --> 00:33:55.319 get just as far down the line is like The generation 00:33:55.319 --> 00:33:58.079 that is our parents and they're comfortable saying 00:33:58.079 --> 00:34:00.200 things and they're comfortable laughing at things 00:34:00.200 --> 00:34:03.039 that we don't think is funny Yeah, you know that 00:34:03.039 --> 00:34:05.000 that whole thing. I don't think anyone in our 00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:08.010 family is blatantly racist, but generationally 00:34:08.010 --> 00:34:11.849 it was a different time for that age group and 00:34:11.849 --> 00:34:14.190 I don't know how else to really put that delicately 00:34:14.190 --> 00:34:16.789 other than different times certain things are 00:34:16.789 --> 00:34:19.750 like learned behaviors. Oh absolutely. So there's 00:34:19.750 --> 00:34:22.909 all of that that contributes to this but what 00:34:22.909 --> 00:34:24.869 I wanted to say is like it almost seems wrong 00:34:24.869 --> 00:34:27.849 to hold the grandfather accountable with the 00:34:27.849 --> 00:34:30.250 dementia because he has dementia. Even if you 00:34:30.250 --> 00:34:32.070 wanted him to take responsibility for it it's 00:34:32.070 --> 00:34:33.929 like five minutes later he could be like who 00:34:33.929 --> 00:34:36.880 are you? Oh, absolutely. But I do, I just feel 00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:39.500 like more than anything, what she needs to be 00:34:39.500 --> 00:34:41.559 able to hold space for that and feel safe to 00:34:41.559 --> 00:34:44.139 be able to talk about it with her husband. Yeah, 00:34:44.340 --> 00:34:47.260 of course. And he needs to be able to, it isn't 00:34:47.260 --> 00:34:49.980 a laughing matter. It's not like, it just makes 00:34:49.980 --> 00:34:53.059 me really sad for her. And also when you're talking 00:34:53.059 --> 00:34:54.840 about the generations and how we're different 00:34:54.840 --> 00:34:57.239 now and like, things that are funny to them when 00:34:57.239 --> 00:34:59.500 they say it to us, we're like, that's not fricking 00:34:59.500 --> 00:35:02.380 funny. Like that's actually, that's racist. Don't 00:35:02.380 --> 00:35:05.260 say that. It just makes me very grateful for 00:35:05.260 --> 00:35:09.099 our time, how we can understand that it's wrong. 00:35:09.159 --> 00:35:11.159 Right. I don't know. Like, I just feel like I 00:35:11.159 --> 00:35:14.920 just love we're all opening our eyes to like. 00:35:14.960 --> 00:35:17.260 Yeah. Just seeing people as people. It's like, 00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:19.260 that's, that's really what it boils down to is 00:35:19.260 --> 00:35:21.960 we have our differences that we should respect 00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:24.610 and accept, but. Everything that's gone in the 00:35:24.610 --> 00:35:28.170 world social media mixing viewpoints like it's 00:35:28.170 --> 00:35:30.690 about the behavior that is learned It's about 00:35:30.690 --> 00:35:33.190 the fact that we've been exposed to a lot more 00:35:33.190 --> 00:35:36.849 We hear more from kind of what other people experience 00:35:36.849 --> 00:35:41.349 about racism and it's also ugly Yeah, our generation 00:35:41.349 --> 00:35:45.050 is just much more Aware of how hurtful some of 00:35:45.050 --> 00:35:47.750 those things actually are it's messed up that 00:35:47.750 --> 00:35:49.730 people laughed at the joke It's not something 00:35:49.730 --> 00:35:51.309 that's a laughing matter. I mean, that's it. 00:35:51.369 --> 00:35:53.829 That's a a really offensive thing to say. Yeah, 00:35:53.829 --> 00:35:56.630 no, that was really mean. And even the even the 00:35:56.630 --> 00:35:58.550 first one, like you should have brought a blonde 00:35:58.550 --> 00:36:00.750 helm instead of a brunette. It's like, yeah. 00:36:01.110 --> 00:36:03.690 OK, I get that grandpa has dementia. I put myself 00:36:03.690 --> 00:36:06.010 in this situation. Grandpa that has dementia 00:36:06.010 --> 00:36:09.030 says something that is just off the wall. I'm 00:36:09.030 --> 00:36:11.889 sorry to say I'm going to chuckle because I feel 00:36:11.889 --> 00:36:16.010 awkward as can be. And what I would do if I was 00:36:16.010 --> 00:36:18.570 in the situations, I might I might chuckle about 00:36:18.570 --> 00:36:22.980 it and know instantly that OP is like if that's 00:36:22.980 --> 00:36:24.880 not funny at all and I would want to be like 00:36:24.880 --> 00:36:27.619 hey I'm I'm so sorry about what he said like 00:36:27.619 --> 00:36:31.880 that that is not cool and like we laugh but That's 00:36:31.880 --> 00:36:34.300 not funny at all. The guys lost his marbles. 00:36:34.460 --> 00:36:36.880 Yeah. Yeah, I don't know I don't know what I 00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:38.659 would do in that moment, but I know what you 00:36:38.659 --> 00:36:41.099 would do What I'd probably call them out you 00:36:41.099 --> 00:36:42.880 would you and it's that's what that's what I 00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:44.639 was pointing out about it being a personality 00:36:44.639 --> 00:36:47.980 things People handle things differently. She's 00:36:47.980 --> 00:36:51.130 mad at the family and so I get why her Husband 00:36:51.130 --> 00:36:53.710 or boyfriend whoever it is. I get why he's like 00:36:53.710 --> 00:36:57.469 they're not all that bad. I promise. Yeah, I 00:36:57.469 --> 00:37:01.809 Well, I do want to comment this this is so this 00:37:01.809 --> 00:37:04.050 is one of the comments from relevant highlight 00:37:04.050 --> 00:37:07.789 90 My grandfather with dementia got really racist 00:37:07.789 --> 00:37:10.869 and weirdly sexual towards family members and 00:37:10.869 --> 00:37:14.050 guess what my family didn't do Laugh at it. They 00:37:14.050 --> 00:37:16.250 jumped in corrected him stopped and protected 00:37:16.250 --> 00:37:18.150 the members of the family who needed protecting 00:37:18.510 --> 00:37:21.090 And my family sucks, so there's a really low 00:37:21.090 --> 00:37:23.929 bar. The fact that his family laughed told you 00:37:23.929 --> 00:37:26.230 all that you need to know about his family. The 00:37:26.230 --> 00:37:28.110 fact that your husband is defending their laughter 00:37:28.110 --> 00:37:29.710 tells you all that you need to know about your 00:37:29.710 --> 00:37:31.929 husband. In your shoes, I'd be calling divorce 00:37:31.929 --> 00:37:36.550 lawyers without even a thought. NTA. To me, that's 00:37:36.550 --> 00:37:39.230 an agree to disagree. It's not because it's funny. 00:37:39.269 --> 00:37:42.409 It's not funny. The joke's not funny. But grandpa 00:37:42.409 --> 00:37:44.090 has dementia and he doesn't know what's going 00:37:44.090 --> 00:37:47.050 on. And sometimes the easiest way to break the 00:37:47.050 --> 00:37:50.159 tension is to just like, haha, it's not funny. 00:37:50.500 --> 00:37:53.059 There's not a world that exists where that's 00:37:53.059 --> 00:37:57.780 making racist degrading jokes. It is not comical. 00:37:58.079 --> 00:38:00.820 The reality is, is that those situations, everybody 00:38:00.820 --> 00:38:02.900 navigates them a little differently. The other 00:38:02.900 --> 00:38:05.300 thing is that we don't even actually know, like 00:38:05.300 --> 00:38:07.019 what was the extent of the laughing? She just 00:38:07.019 --> 00:38:08.900 said that they laughed. Are they like, are they 00:38:08.900 --> 00:38:11.059 belly laughing? Oh, grandpa, you're hilarious. 00:38:11.659 --> 00:38:15.260 No, it's like, oh, grandpa, you're, haha, you're 00:38:15.260 --> 00:38:20.219 crazy. Overall, I just feel like OP needs a hug 00:38:20.219 --> 00:38:23.800 and she needs to feel support and not feel like 00:38:23.800 --> 00:38:27.480 they all think that she can just be like comic 00:38:27.480 --> 00:38:29.500 relief or whatever. What would be the right saying 00:38:29.500 --> 00:38:31.699 for that? Yeah, like the butt of the joke or 00:38:31.699 --> 00:38:34.679 anything like that. It's not funny. The husband 00:38:34.679 --> 00:38:37.219 needs to step up and to be there for her and 00:38:37.219 --> 00:38:39.460 to defend her. Doesn't matter if the grandpa 00:38:39.460 --> 00:38:42.739 has dementia, he still should correct that and 00:38:42.739 --> 00:38:45.019 say it's inappropriate. Look at him and say, 00:38:45.260 --> 00:38:48.400 No, my baby's not a monkey. It is a human being. 00:38:49.019 --> 00:38:52.880 And that's, like, you're a... Like, what's so 00:38:52.880 --> 00:38:55.039 funny, Grandpa? I'm gonna smack those dentures 00:38:55.039 --> 00:38:57.130 out your mouth, boy. He doesn't even have them 00:38:57.130 --> 00:38:59.690 anymore. He's still freaking old. Oh man. Okay, 00:38:59.789 --> 00:39:03.409 well that's my story. Guys, let us know which 00:39:03.409 --> 00:39:05.989 one you think is the fake this week. I don't 00:39:05.989 --> 00:39:08.150 think you're gonna get it. Go follow us on all 00:39:08.150 --> 00:39:10.769 of it. TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, 00:39:11.050 --> 00:39:13.889 our podcast. And that is it for this week's episode 00:39:13.889 --> 00:39:17.150 of the dadliest catch. Hit us with the comments 00:39:17.150 --> 00:39:21.369 and happy late father's day dads. Most of us 00:39:21.369 --> 00:39:24.159 suck. but we're doing our best and keep doing 00:39:24.159 --> 00:39:26.079 what you do. Love y 'all. Hope you have a good 00:39:26.079 --> 00:39:28.239 week. Let's get an internet frenzy on three. 00:39:28.699 --> 00:39:33.199 One, two, three. Thank you. Internet frenzy. 00:39:33.619 --> 00:39:34.400 Love you guys.