All right, we're in for a treat this week. So
the theme sounds like a freaking episode of Harry
Potter. I'm gonna tell you right now. Oh shoot.
Gotta have to chat with GPT for the assist on
this one. The title is Blood, Half -Bloods, and
the In -Law Apocalypse. What? Stories about family
beef. Oh my gosh. Okay, I'm ready. Let's freaking
go. I'm scared. So the first story is putting
brother's girlfriend in her place. Sounds like
there's something fun there. Son tells his dad,
do not marry your girlfriend. Absolute no. Oh
no. Another poster asks, would I be the a -hole
for ditching my disabled dad? And last but not
least, we have a twin telling her twin sister
that her boyfriend hit on her. Oh. That's not
good. Some not so fun family drama is gonna unfold
in this one. Oh gosh, but at least it's like
he's hitting on someone that looks just like
her rather than you find out that like your dude's
looking at girls that look nothing like you.
So it's like, I don't know. I mean, it's still
a major portrayal, but at least there's that.
So at least it doesn't nick your ego. At least
it doesn't make you feel like he's like, you
know, he wants something different. He just wants
your twin sister. Yeah, he's like, you just slide
into the DMs of somebody that's not you that
looks exactly like you. That's horrible. Yeah,
it's almost like, what's he looking for? Is it
the personality? Who knows, but maybe we'll find
out. And the two, it's like, I wonder if twins
kind of have this sense of like competitiveness
towards each other. Like, do you think they compare?
All the twins in the world right now chime in
because I know they're all so competitive. Really?
A hundred percent. Okay. Like they want a low
key be better and the hotter twin and like the
more athletic twin, the better twin, the smarter
twin, the smarter twin, all of it. Okay. It's
no, I mean, it's sibling rivalry, but you are
the exact same DNA pattern. You're like totally
connected. Yeah. The exact same person. Dang.
Okay, well, I'm ready. But let's chat about last
week. That one's a rager. But last week was the
episode when you just have to stick to your story.
Featuring sticker you hopefully you guys have
had a chance to check them out. They're freaking
awesome. Yes. Big shouts to them. And that was
a fun episode. We have the the story we started
off with the story about the girl that was friends
with benefits and she's mad because her hookup
partner lying to her. And we have the the girl
that was gaslighting her mom in line, you remember
that? Yes, that was hilarious. Everyone on social
media loved that one, by the way. They're like,
OP is a gangster. When you hear the title, you
think, no, that's bad. Yeah. Don't do that. Yeah.
No, she, it was perfect. The next one was, I
married my same gender best friend, even though
we're both straight. Sounds like a pretty good
premise. Yeah. Your premise, was that fake? Don't
know. And then last but not least, it's Husband
doesn't know that I dated his friend. OP is a
female that she just is in too deep. She can't
tell OP That she had a past with her with this
guy. That one gave me nightmares. That one's
terrible and It was fake. Oh Thank goodness.
So shout out to you guys in the comments for
for picking out when I saw a few of you out there
Yeah, you guys you guys are getting good if you
didn't know Then stay tuned this week. See if
you can figure it out I don't think they're going
to get this week's. I mean, they're getting good.
We'll see. Can't put it past them. So this week,
we want to give a special shout out to Smoothie
Box. We got a we got a big box in the mail from
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and you have a meal. And it's a delicious meal.
With protein, when you talk about getting your
nutrition, eating healthy, there's not an easier
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It's code InternetFrenzy25 and you get 25 % off
if you use the code. In all caps. In all caps.
And I absolutely recommend if you like smoothies,
try them. Without further ado, let's get into
blood, half bloods and the in -lawpocalypse.
Tell me that doesn't sound like Harry Potter.
It does. And I don't know what my song was, but
we're going to go with it. It does sound like
Harry Potter. That was like that was like when
the Mary Oxy band starts to play. It sounded
like you were Miguel from Coco. Yes, that's the
best compliment. Thank you so much. You're welcome.
But I mean, you're welcome. Thanks. Okay, first
up, we have, am I the asshole for re -reminding
my brother's girlfriend that I own half of the
house we live in so she can't easily get rid
of me? Okay, no, he owns half the house. She.
Oh, wait, she owns half the house. Alright, let's
dig in. Okay. I'm 15F, 15 years old female. I've
been living with my big brother, 25, for the
last three years. Our dad died three years ago
and our mom abandoned us seven years ago and
is living abroad in Japan with her new family.
Ouch. Sucks. She says I'm very independent and
don't need a lot of attention and generally mind
my own business. So I'm not a nuisance or a third
wheel. I just need to be left alone. The house
we live in belonged to our dad and he left it
equally to both of us. Okay. My brother's been
seeing his girlfriend for a couple of years now.
She's not bad and I generally liked her however
she wants to move in here and they're talking
about getting serious. I talked to my brother
about how this would work and he thinks it's
too soon to discuss it and we'll sort out the
details when it's more serious. Okay so the other
day she came to me and asked me about my plans
about uni and if I wanted to stay around and
I told her that yeah I plan to stay home while
going to uni. She suggested it might be good
for my growth to go to a different city and get
exposed to new experiences and people. Also suggested
boarding school for next year Oh My gosh, this
girlfriend's dirty dirty that's messed up is
I smelled BS So told her what it's really about
and she mentioned that they're getting serious
and want to start a family soon And I won't have
a place here as they're growing family. I'm getting
so mad right now I know talked about importance
of nuclear family and all that nonsense. I asked
why is she trying to get rid of me? I've done
her no harm. She said it isn't personal, and
it's just that their family will deserve to have
their own space without relatives living with
them. I reminded her that I own half of this
space, so she's delusional if she thinks that
she can just get rid of me. Fox. She initially
said my brother has done enough for me already.
Fine, I'd do something for him, but also said
let's not continue this discussion now. Are you
kidding? Later, my brother told me I was unnecessarily
aggressive and instead should have come to him
about what she said. I told him I didn't approach
her. She was trying to manipulate me to get rid
of me. He thinks she was wrong to do that, but
I was unnecessarily aggressive and she didn't
mean bad. And now I've damaged our relationship,
maybe permanently. Oh, this girlfriend's a child.
She's the worst. Later he had a fight with her.
He hasn't talked to me since then. It's been
about four days now. She also hasn't been over
since then. A .I .T .A. for being too aggressive
to her. Hell no. Good for this little girl. She
is so intelligent for her age. That's that was
my first thought was this girl was 15 And she's
holding it down against 25 ish Manipulate a little
brat and like how what 25 year old female is
dating a guy The guy is 25 and taking care of
his 15 year old sister that he has guardianship
over her and The girls like hey sis, you're gonna
have to scoot over gonna have to move out. I
could never who could do that? literally never
this girl is a piece of shit yeah yeah bad oh
my gosh it is a bad I'm so livid here's the issue
okay this is an issue for the listeners and for
us this was posted seven hours ago oh there's
no update no this is freshly fresh we're gonna
have to keep tabs on this one oh please please
save that Oh, it's getting Are the comments just
loving her? Yeah, everyone of course everyone
NTA not the asshole not the asshole. This is
the most upvoted comment so far says NTA all
these things she was suggesting like boarding
school who would be paying for that your inheritance
brother because it doesn't sound like it would
be her covering any costs. It's yours and your
brother's house even if she did move in it would
still be yours and your brother's house she would
just be living there. I'd have been a lot more
blunt if someone had the audacity to tell me
to move out because they felt entitled to my
inheritance and what I should be doing with it.
Facts. IMO the fact she hasn't been over and
they haven't spoken is probably because she doubled
down on what she said to you. Oh yeah for sure.
So she's telling yeah telling her boyfriend like
no she needs to leave. And your sister was so
mean to me. She was so mean and aggressive. And
I was just coming out a nice, genuine place where
I just feel like she needs to explore and grow
and do all these new, exciting things. I was
coming from a good place. Move out of my house,
little kid. No. It's F. This brother needs to
dump her. I don't care. She's a bad person. And
OP responded right away and said, it wouldn't
surprise me if she's trying to force my brother
to choose between us. A thousand percent. That
makes me sick. And she's 15. She's 15. She's
not 18. She's not 19. You're pushing a freaking
sophomore in high school to think about leaving
the house? To boarding school when her family
got blown up? Her dad passed away three years
ago. She was 12. 12. And she's 15 now. And she's
even saying, I just want to chill in my room.
I know. It's not like I'm out there hanging out
with them, wanting to watch shows with them.
That's how I would be. You kidding me? I'd be
like, what's up, guys? He'd be cock -blocking
like crazy. I'd be shameless about it. I'd be
like, no, it's not time for that. We're going
to watch the next episode of 2020. No, but that's
this poor girl, I feel for her. And I hope that
the brother does the right thing, but he's in
a hard spot right now. He's in a hard spot, but
he's in a spot where I hope he is seeing it clearly
and seeing the girlfriend's true colors. You're
right about that. Hopefully, hopefully he's seeing
it, but I'm not holding my breath. Oh, man. That's
a good story and terrible. Okay. Please keep
us updated on that. Absolutely. I love it. Well,
I'm ready for mine if you're ready for yours.
Yeah. Okay. What was I doing? Oh yeah. I'm getting
the story. Um, you're on a podcast right now.
I got a text from someone and it threw me off.
Okay. Am I the a -hole for telling my dad I don't
want him to marry his girlfriend? Honestly, this
is embarrassing so I'm using a throwaway. My
parents both 46 got divorced six years ago. My
mom remarried three years ago and my dad has
had a few girlfriends. His current girlfriend
is the only one he has ever brought around. My
mom has met her and likes her and my sister idolizes
her. She's nice and I don't dislike her. The
actual problem? She's 27. Exactly 10 years older
than me. To me, it's so weird. I don't understand
why my dad wants to date someone so much younger
than him. When he asked my sister and I if we
were okay with him asking her to marry him, my
sister was excited. I wasn't. I told him I wasn't
comfortable with the age gap and thought she
was just a sugar baby. Dad explained that she
has her own career but said okay. Since that
conversation, my dad has been really sad and
the atmosphere in his house has changed. His
girlfriend hasn't been by as frequently either.
I feel kind of bad because I want my dad to be
happy. That's tough. It's like, is he cool with
dating? Is he cool with the dad dating in general?
He just has a problem with the age gap? Yeah.
I mean, I feel like that would be weird. You're
27 and your dad's dating somebody that's, or
sorry, he's 17. Your dad's dating somebody that's
27. He's only 10 years older than him. And at
17, you're like, you're kind of feeling more
like adult -ish. it just that starts to feel
yeah like you're I mean obviously he is closer
to her age than the dad is right so that that
would be striking I think for anybody I think
it also it just puts a different perspective
on your your parent like your parent is old enough
I feel like to recognize that like that large
of an age gap it's it's a little weird it's weird
it's and you have to I think everybody initially
would just question the motives That's what I'm
trying to say. Which is what he did anyway. He's
like, she's the sugar baby. She just wants, you
know, she just wants his money. Like she's not
actually into him. Well, and I'm what I'm going
for is I feel like I would look at my parent
differently on their motives. Like are they being
gross by wanting a 27 year old female? Well,
and is it is it gross if it's legal? Yes. 18
is legal. But but like and that's gross. He's
46. She's 27. Okay, it's there. They are full
-blown adults I I don't I didn't hear I read
this story. I read the story, but I didn't realize
he was 46. So my bad 46 27 it still feels wrong
It's a massive gap. It's big. So here's my question
to you Okay, if let's just say you're single
at 27. What's your ceiling 35 35 And he's got
to be rich. But don't say anything else about
anything. OK, sugar baby. I'll be a sugar baby,
but I'm not freaking. What's it rocking the cradle?
Yeah, robbing the cradle. You wouldn't. You would
be in the cradle. You would be the one getting
robbed. It's not rocked. No, no, it's robbing
the cradle. But listen, thirty five. I just want
you to really think about this for a second.
So let's just say it's he's thirty seven. No,
no. So 37 is too old. That's too old. If I'm
20 what again? You're 27. So the other thing
is she's in her career. 10 years? That's a lot.
I will say though, like I have friends that marry
guys that are 10 years older than them. And I
don't think it's weird at all. I don't even think
twice. I'm just thinking as a father and you're
dating someone, he's 46. She is 27. That is very
young. But this is the thing, okay? This is a
good. So let's stick to that. No, it's there's
the gap is massive. There's no two ways about
it. Yeah. But I just think that there's there's
always going to be extenuating circumstances.
It's there's there's things that have to be weighed
out if it's just some 27 year old that is just,
you know, looking to be swept up by a guy that's
got his money and she just wants to be taken
care of. Red flags all over the place. Yeah.
But what if it's not like that? What if What
if the stars align? When it comes to the age
thing, I think it's a hard thing to digest for
a lot of people, but it's because a lot of those
variables you just don't know about. It's what
is his motives? What are her motives? Is it awesome?
Is it normal? Is it a healthy relationship? Is
it codependent? Is it, you know, any type of
superiority complex? There are so many different
things that you could assume. just based on the
age gap, but there might be more for the story.
No, that's fair. Well, there is more to the story
because there is an update. Say what? Yeah. So
it says, edit. This blew up bigger than I expected
it to and found its way to my dad. Now he wants
to have a talk this weekend. Oh, snap. Update.
So my original post blew up and managed to find
its way to both my dad and his girlfriend. Her
name is Jenny. Jenny thought it was really funny
while my dad was mortified. Some of the comments
were really mean towards my dad, which made me
a little sad. He's a great dad and trying his
best. I'm eating my words right now, that's hilarious.
As a whole, the comment section had me thinking
about my father's love life too much, and I know
now not to air my parents' business on the internet.
To clear up some confusion, my dad was not asking
for permission. He was simply asking how my sister
and I would feel about him remarrying. As for
the actual update... My dad sat me down and explained
he wasn't upset over me or what I said. He was
upset that he didn't know I was uncomfortable
sooner. He told me that him and Jenny met at
a conference and that they both thought the other
was lying about their age. Jenny thought dad
was younger and dad thought Jenny was older apparently
because of how high up in her career she is.
That's cool. It was nice to hear that dad wasn't
intentionally going for women in their 20s and
that Jenny was the first girl he dated that young.
I still get the ick. Jenny took me out solo for
matcha the other day too. She said she never
wanted to be a mom and doesn't want kids. She
said that she liked that dad already was a dad
to older kids and didn't want more and that's
why she kept dating him. She said she doesn't
want me to think of her as a stepmom, just a
cool adult. I apologize for calling her a gold
digger and she said it wasn't a problem. Apparently
she could see why I would have thought that and
isn't upset. Jenny wants the internet to know
that she's about to turn 28 in a few days. Anyway,
dad's not really upset with me. I still like
Jenny. Everything has been cleared up, and I'm
not really uncomfortable anymore. Thanks, Reddit.
Okay, so we love it. I do love it for her. It
seems like she was able to get things off her
chest. It sounds like they communicated in a
mature way. I love that it worked out for her.
But this dad, you can't tell me that he, low
key, there's gotta be the, I don't know, I'm
not a man. I just think men are gross. and younger
women men always are drawn to and so you can't
tell me that he find out she's 27 and he's not
like oh my gosh oh wait like dang like i could
pull a 27 year old she's so hot and fresh and
young and new but so does that make him bad it
makes it a little icky if it's your father it
just feels weird i yeah i mean i could understand
for sure that it would feel weird but knowing
If she's in her career, she doesn't want kids.
They have things that match up in their lifestyle.
It's like, okay, it's not like she's just some
child to him. There's actually some congruence
for them. There's grounds for them to have a
relationship. Right. And it's not just about
the fact like, oh, she's fresh and I can pull
a young babe. It's not that. But then again,
this is my feeling. If you were to go and pull
guys that are single at 46, if you're going to
ask them, Would you be comfortable dating a 27
year old? They're going to say no. But if a 27
year old showed interest in them, they're not
going to shut it down. I want to flip the script
on you and say like, we're divorced. I'm 46 years
old. I have our children. Let's say we have five
kids. And how old is this OP? OP 17. And our
daughter or our son. is 17 years old and I'm
dating a 27 year old and things are getting serious
and I'm 46 years old. It does feel, I mean sorry,
the reality is it feels a little bit different
giving the gender swap. Why? Because now you're
seeing it in a different light. Because you would
be searching for a doctor and there's not going
to be a 27 year old doctor ready to rock and
roll. What if he has a great career? I mean so
if it was literally, if it was apples to apples.
Yeah. I would be like, okay, go get it. Go get
it. No, you would not. I would look at him and
be like, were you held as a child? I'd be hot
as a 46 year old, sir. Of course. You would say,
you lucky son of a gun. That's what you would
say. And you'd say, I wish I was you. And I'd
say, if you break her heart, I will kill you.
Even though I already did because we're divorced.
Right. If those other things in your life are
synced up. Yeah, and age becomes less of a relevancy
thing. It's just the fact that when you think
of a 27 year old, and you think of a 46 year
old, it would be in drastically different places
in their life. But the fact that she's established
in her career, she doesn't need his money. She's
doing well. I know. And she's so what's the word
emotionally mature? She she's great. She took
the kid out. She's like, dude, I don't want to
be your step mom. She's so cool. She's like,
I totally get it. It's okay. You call me a gold
digger. That's funny. Like It obviously shows
that she's so secure in who she is. Right. And
yeah, like the humor, the fact that she's like,
by the way, tell the internet I'm close to 28.
Exactly. Yeah. No, I really like her. I think
if there'd be no reason why you would turn down
46, I don't think you would look at a 46 year
old that was interested in you. If you were attracted
to him, you had, I think you'd be like, game
on brother. Let's do this. No, I think you would.
I do not. And I think, okay. It's easier to be
like, no. there's something weird that's wrong
blah blah blah but I don't I don't think I could
but I think too there's got to be like some deep
trauma within me as to why I'm responding so
like double down on this because when I was 16
I dated an older man and so I just think not
like super old you guys not not 46 but still
it's like It was not, I don't know how to explain
it. I just think when I hear these age gaps where
I just feel like the girl's way younger or even
the guy's way younger than the girl, it freaks
me out. It comes with this polarity, with this
intensity where it's, you're not often starting
on a level playing field. Yeah. It's this dynamic
of like. What are the motives? Cause some, there
are motives that are icky. Yeah, no, there's
no doubt. It's just triggering. I don't like
it. So anyways. That's my story. This would be
the perfect time for me to read my bonus story.
You have a bonus story? Listen, this is how it
happened. OK, I found the stories that I wanted
to use for the episode. I was doing my Reddit
homework and I found another story that I really
liked that just doesn't really fit in the theme.
Oh, I have to read it. You have to read it. OK,
I'm going to. Yeah, you should. This one comes
from in my VA hole and it was just too fitting.
And the fact that you brought up what you just
brought up. I mean, the stars are aligning. Oh,
wow. OK, I'm ready. Am I the a -hole for being
mad at my wife saying breaking up with her ex
was one of her biggest regrets? To a friend who
is dating him. To a friend that's dating him?
That is dating him. Now you know why I had to
read it. I stumbled across it. I'm like, it's
going in. It's pretty much just the title. The
other day, one of my wife's friends was talking
to her about a guy she was dating. It just happened
to be my wife's ex. That sucks. The convo went
to the friend, having some doubts about the guy.
My wife said this, and I quote, He is the sweetest
and most wonderful guy. Breaking up with him
is one of my biggest regrets. Close quote. Divorce.
Divorce right now. Are we like, whoa? And my
immediate response was, excuse me? And it took
my wife too long to catch on. She was like, what?
And it took her a while to process what she said.
I told her nevermind for now and let her finish
the combo with her friend. Granted, her friend
left pretty soon after that. We talked about
it and honestly, I'm still pretty pissed. She
said she got caught with it and that she didn't
really mean it. Honestly, didn't make me feel
any better, TBH. No. I've been keeping some space
from her. And just a couple comments real quick.
I bet her friend felt the same way as you. That's
probably why the friend left shortly after. Nope,
you're not the age and yes, you deserve a better
explanation. Lots and lots of more of this. Oh,
yeah, this is what I wanted to read. Man, my
wife gaslit me for 15 years. Finally, after I
left her and in counseling, it all came up. She
was still in love with the figment of a guy.
This is where it gets so difficult and every
person is unique. So I'm not saying your missus
is like this. She needs to get professional help
to understand herself. So my wife's ex cheated
on her and got another girl pregnant and then
he married her. However, Her ex was everything
she dreamed of. He was taller, better built,
better looking, could paint and play the guitar,
and is generally a very talented dude. I, on
the other hand, am not any of those things, but
I am good at making money and being loyal and
a provider. She never worked a day in her life,
but still that was not enough. She dreamed of
her perfect life with this perfect guy who could
earn the money I could. So for 15 years, I was
competing with the fantasy. That's the thing
that got unpacked is that I was competing with
the fantasy that this is where it gets weird.
The real problem is quote, why she was unable
to connect with me when I provided her with everything
she could want close quote. So what it comes
down to is her, her identity, essence, personality,
her family system and attachment style. So the
real reason she had a fantasy was to justify
self disconnection as she is actually a dismissive
avoidant person. And because of who she is as
a person, and her upbringing, she just doesn't
want to build a bonded relationship. She was
much happier at just having a provider who expects
nothing from her emotionally. At the time I was
anxious attachment, avoidant and anxious people
go together like frogs in a pond. So after much
to and fro, I left her and by goodness, nine
years is the best thing I ever did was to leave
somebody that didn't really care to have me as
a person in her life. She did say on the last
session when I said we were done, Well, you have
ruined my life. In the whole 15 years, she never
did anything without huge duress, trying to make
me happy. She was excellent at controlling the
frame to make me keep her happy and anything
I asked for was unreasonable. If any of this
is really true, then you really need a lot of
professional help to unpack the core of what
a person is. And the core you have to get to
is what sort of relationship do they want and
what sort of relationship do you want. To be
really clear, there is no wrong or right in any
attack in style. It just has to work for both
parties. Also, don't like being with anxious
clingy partners or avoidant partners either,
but it doesn't mean what I want is right It's
just what is right for me. Oh, I like that Wow
Well, he's learned a lot for his trauma. That's
for sure good for him That is it and it's crazy
because so many people just go throughout life
not knowing about any of these things that underlie
their behaviors their emotions their motives
all the sudden life can be pretty freaking messy
and and you're looking up like what what is what
is going on where am i crazy that was just a
comment on this but there is an update oh my
gosh it's very short first okay so the update
this the update was only two days ago it hasn't
been good for our marriage i feel so unloved
by my wife right now honestly ever since she
said that it feels like i just want to get further
away from her she still refuses to apologize
and keeps insisting that she didn't mean it that
way she told me she's getting sick of this i
really don't want to divorce over this of all
things And we are going to go into counseling.
I want to at least try it. But damn, I've never
felt so lonely in my life. I don't even want
to look at her. OK, I think the man I think therapy
is definitely going to be the best answer for
them. I think that's going to really help him.
I get why he's so upset, but it truly could have
meant that she was just talking him up to the
friend, not really fully being like, I still
want to bone him. I still want him. I still want
to get back with him. and she just said something
super super stupid like she should have never
said that that's super inappropriate but the
fact that she was never mad that her friend was
dating him that's what gives me a little bit
of like hope that like maybe there really wasn't
anything going on where she still has like strong
feelings towards her ex well and the thing is
is that different personality types will handle
those types of things differently there's lots
of people in the world that can break up with
their ex after a very passionate relationship
and still be friends. I don't mean like their
best cow is hanging out, but I mean that they're
still involving each other's lives, they run
in the same circles, and it's not toxic whatsoever.
They accept their relationship ended, and then
you move on. Like a real adult relationship?
I'm not talking high school, because I'm still
friends with those guys, but I'm saying... adult
relations. Yes and that's what I'm referring
to as well. I think that and this is this is
I mean you let us know in the comments listeners
but I tend to believe sorry I'm not trying to
make it personal but you have a very staunch
feel on this type of thing and I think generally
speaking in the world it's not always the same
way not always is there a lot of people that
will operate the same way of course I think majority
think my way well it's I don't know about majority
I don't know the numbers but I do know that this
like If this is correct, it doesn't mean that
the wife necessarily wants to get back with the
guy. But I think it's healthy. It's a good thing
that she's like, go ahead, date the guy. I thought
he was a great person. It's just what she said
was... Not okay. Yeah, my biggest regret was
breaking up with him. That is yeah, that's ridiculous.
No, that's crazy. That's crazy crazy I'm glad
you shared that that's wild just a random insert.
So enjoy listeners. Yeah, I still have more I'm
excited for them to unpack all the things cuz
I'm sure there's things on his end as well that
he has never told his wife He absolutely has
his own problems. Yeah. And the fact that he's
so repulsed by her now and he's so avoidant,
like I don't even want to look at her. Yeah.
Like, dog, you are doing the avoidance now. Yeah,
exactly. It's kind of like, all right, bud, you
got to put on your big girl panties. But I mean,
I understand he's hurt. So go to therapy. Let's
take this as a subtle reminder and a subtle time
to talk to you, the listener. If you if any of
this stuff ever rings true, you go to therapy.
Please get rid of the stigma, go to therapy,
personal therapy, relationship counseling. It
doesn't matter. Like sort through what's going
on on the inside because it is so valuable in
just living more in touch with yourself, not
just being reactionary. So this is kind of fun.
This is a four years later update. Would I be
the a -hole if I stopped supporting my disabled
father over his preferential treatment towards
my siblings? I 26 M have two sisters. They're
18 and 23. from the same mom and dad. When I
was 16, my parents went through a messy divorce
which resulted in my sister staying with my mom
and I stayed with my dad. My dad is disabled
and has been unable to work due to a long list
of medical issues since I was 16. He has kidney
failure and is currently on dialysis while awaiting
a transplant. This has meant that I have been
looking after him in a variety of caretaking
ways for over a decade. Throughout this time
his contact with my two sisters has been minimal.
He has in the past allowed my oldest sister to
claim benefits that she was not entitled to by
claiming to be a carer for my father amongst
others. She has at no point in her life provided
care for my dad. This caused many fights between
my dad and I as I felt he was allowing her to
commit fraud just so he could feel like he was
helping her. I was recently contacted by his
doctor who told me that my dad was no longer
on the transplant list to receive the kidney
transplant he needs. Apparently his health is
now so poor that they don't know for sure if
he'll survive general anesthesia for the operation.
I was told that a major factor for this was his
poor diet which has exacerbated his existing
health issues. Hearing this my wife and I decided
to move back in with my dad to try to get him
onto a healthier diet to hopefully prepare his
body for the transplant he needs. After we moved
in I was going through his most recent letters
when I discovered a letter informing him that
my youngest sister had applied for a grant for
young carers as a result of caring for him. My
dad is lucky to see my sister once a month, let
alone the 16 hours a week this grant requires.
Wow. I confronted him and he said he was just
trying to help her out in any way that he could.
This again led to a massive fight as currently
me and my wife are the only family members supporting
him. My sisters do nothing for him. They are
both adults and yet neither has lifted a single
finger once to help him. And yet here he is again
essentially committing fraud to help them out.
We can't help but feel taken for granted and
simply unappreciated. We do everything we possibly
can for him, sacrifice our time, energy, and
money to ensure he has a more comfortable life,
but time and again he chooses to focus his energy
on helping my sisters cheat their way to funds
and benefits they don't deserve. He's never once
asked them to help him, so the burden of responsibility
for his care rests entirely on our shoulders,
despite the fact that, of the three siblings,
I am the only one not currently receiving any
benefit related to his care. We are now at the
point where we are considering pulling all of
our support, financial and physical, and leaving
his care entirely to the two women who are actually
benefiting from providing it. Would I be the
a -hole for withdrawing support from my father?
Oh, okay. Has he communicated with the father
saying, hey, you either pay us or we're out?
It's not that they could pay. Like the dad's
not paying the daughters. He's He's indicating
that they are taking care of him so that they
can get a leg up in school so they can get grants
and this and that. I don't even really know what
the grants consist of. It's monetary gain that
OP wouldn't benefit from. Oh, oh, then who cares?
Right. OP is the ill. And it's yeah, it's not
he has nothing to gain financially or nothing
to lose financially. To my knowledge, obviously,
there's going to be some tax stuff and like dependency
I don't know all that this story comes from the
UK too so it's even different oh okay yeah very
different yeah because I know you know all the
tax laws in the United States it's very different
I could I could tell you the differences on both
of them if you want yeah you're a CPA for both
for both anyways there's a there's a bunch if
anybody wants to go follow this I mentioned it
comes from best of redditor updates that OP goes
into detail about what gain the sisters are getting
you know how it's not fair, how they're committing
fraud, the way that it can be punished, all of
those types of things are included. Some commenters
are recommending that he report the fraud. Don't
do that. Just all the things. And to me, what
it comes down to is just that he feels underappreciated.
And I can relate to the fact that if there's
other siblings in the picture that want to gain
from the dad, but like he's seeing his dad in
the worst shape of his life, They're not even
coming by and say hi. Yeah. They don't care at
all about the case, the situation he's in. They
just want to profit from him. Yeah. I would be
bent out of shape about that, but I would certainly
not withdraw care. So several commenters are
telling him to leave his dad. There's information
about his relationship with the sisters, which
is not good. That is kind of where it is left
off until June 1st of this year, four years later.
Oh, shoot. So there is an update. And so OOP
says, I remembered this post as my dad's birthday
recently passed. I thought I might as well give
an update, even though no one asked. In January,
2023, my father passed away from complete kidney
failure. It wasn't a surprise to me. His health
had been in decline and a transplant wasn't going
to happen. The rest of the family, though, were
shocked. The last time he spoke to anyone, I
showed him the seven week scan of my now two
year old son, his first and only grandchild.
We'd rushed to get the earliest scan we could,
knowing he didn't have much time. My son looked
like a seahorse tadpole. He cried when I showed
him and he had a short talk about fatherhood
before exhaustion took over. He fell asleep and
never woke up. I asked him not to tell anyone
since we were still early and I didn't want to
jinx it. He said, I'll take you to the grave.
Passed away three days later. He kept his word.
I think seeing the scan and having that moment
made him die happy. As for my sisters, they never
changed. I let it go. I knew I couldn't change
my dad and he was on borrowed time. For his birthday
that year, we rented a canal boat since he'd
always wanted one. He crashed it almost immediately.
It gave him less and less consideration, ignoring
him completely on what turned out to be his last
birthday. No visit, no call, not even a text.
He was devastated and reduced contact with them,
though he never stopped helping them financially.
When they found out he was dying, they rushed
to his side and stayed until he passed. But like
before, it was too little too late. He was already
unconscious. They hadn't shown urgency when he
first was admitted, only showing up when I told
them he had chosen to end life support. I'd been
told the day he was admitted over two weeks earlier
that he might not survive and I believed it.
I'd seen him in these situations before and this
time just felt different. The rest of the family
still thought he would recover and didn't treat
him as a priority. Eventually, my dad asked me
if he was dying. Everyone else had been giving
him false hope, mostly for themselves, so I had
to tell him, yes, you're gonna die soon. That
was not an easy conversation. He passed surrounded
by family who barely gave him their time when
he was alive. My sisters definitely regret how
they treated him, but it's too late. We were
civil at the funeral, but hadn't spoken since.
I scattered my share of his ashes at the end
of the canal he never got to see. My sisters
turned theirs into jewelry. I miss him every
day, especially as his grandson looks Are you
crying? Especially as his grandson looks so much
like him. It's a shame things never got resolved
with his daughters while he was alive. But I
think he died a happy man and that's enough for
me. I think I was in a different state of mind
when I when I read this the first time because
obviously it fits the episode the sisters the
sisters suck, but there is perspective to be
gained from this story that it's Don't take advantage
of the time you have with loved ones. And if
you're the sisters in this story, like be better
to that person. You know? Yeah. That's that was
my feeling. I was so glad that OP did update.
He didn't withdraw care. He was with his dad
till the end. Yeah, me too. And families are
important. They are very important. And it was
it was beautiful to like hear he was so intertwined
with his father like he knew his dad sneezed
he knew like what what was happening or like
he just it was it was cool to hear how you can
just tell he really took care of his dad because
he knew anything that was going on he was like
he was right there thank you yeah so he was 16
when his dad started the disability and so he
was literally the sole caretaker from age 16
to 26 he's 26 when he wrote the first post and
so that makes him about what makes him 30 this
year and yeah so he took care of his dad for
12 years that's a long time and him being able
to show the ultrasound before he passed oh my
gosh i feel like part of me is like i'm sure
that made him so happy but i'm like i know if
it was me it's like i'm never gonna meet my grandchild
you know that would be so sad but also yeah Very
joyous very like He that was his first his only
grandchild. Yeah, see the very beginning. Yeah
I love it. Well, I'm ready for mine. Am I the
asshole for telling my twin sister her boyfriend
hit on me? Yo, I 25 have a twin sister Kayla
were identical technically, but over the years
We've made small choices to look a little different
mostly on purpose. She wears makeup every day.
I don't I usually go for plain clothes. She likes
stuff that stands out. If you know us personally,
it's not hard to tell us apart, but strangers
confuse us constantly. Kayla started dating this
guy, Ryan, maybe six months ago. I've met him
a handful of times, mostly at family stuff, and
he always seemed defying. A little quiet, not
the most warm person, but she seemed really into
him, so I didn't say much. For context, I've
been pretty closed off lately. I was in a serious
relationship last year with someone I really
thought I was going to marry, but it ended up
pretty badly. Long story short, he cheated. It
wrecked me. I haven't dated anyone since, and
honestly, haven't even been that social. I've
kinda just been in recovery mode, trying to feel
like myself again. Kayla's been supportive, kind
of, but lately it's felt more like she's walking
on eggshells around me. So a couple weeks ago,
Ryan randomly followed me on Instagram. I followed
him back, no big deal. Then one night around
1240 AM, he sent me a message that said, ever
wonder what it'd be like if we kissed? No context,
no lead up. I literally stared at it for a minute
because I thought maybe he sent it to the wrong
person. I replied with something like, uh, are
you serious? You're dating my sister. He left
it on read and didn't respond. The next day I
texted Kayla and just told her what happened.
I sent her a screenshot and everything. I was
calm about it. I really thought she'd just be
pissed at him, dump him and that'd be it. Instead,
she got weirdly cold, so maybe I misread it.
Then asked why he would even message me unless
I had done something. I told her I hadn't even
had a real conversation with him outside of family
dinners. She kept pushing, said I was probably
being dramatic, and eventually accused me of
wanting attention because I've been lonely. Now
she's blocked me on everything. No texts, no
social. I haven't heard from her in almost two
weeks. My mom says I shouldn't have said anything
unless I was absolutely sure he meant it that
way. Which honestly makes me feel insane. What
other way is there? So now I'm just sitting here
feeling like I ruined my relationship with my
sister by doing what I thought was the decent
thing. And I can't stop thinking that if the
roles were reversed, I would have believed her
without hesitation. Am I the a -hole? Like, what
the... What? What? How could you interpret that
any differently? It sounds like a drunk message.
Oh, you think so? Because it's pretty bold. It's
as direct as you can be. It's like they've hardly
ever interacted. Yeah. They barely know each
other. And why would he leave her on read? Like,
if he's trying to cover it, he should have been
like, dude, I'm so sorry. That was my dumb drunk
friend. playing a prank, like make something
up, bro. I'm so sorry, I meant to send that to
your sister, who's your twin. Yeah, there you
go. Like being flirty, I don't know, something.
What an idiot. He left her on red. That enough
is an answer to me. Oh, she's not down? Like,
is she not attracted to me the way her sister
is? Is that not how that works? Yeah, no, I guess
not. I wonder if, I don't feel like I ever see
twins. several like the crazy ones that go viral
on social media whatever when like the twins
marry the twin brothers or whatever does that
happen oh yeah yes but there i feel like majority
of all the twins oops of all the twins i know
they marry or date guys that look completely
different well yeah like so different i if i
was to imagine being a twin i feel like i would
want I would strive for different. Oh, please.
Everything I would want to be different. I don't.
Can you imagine your twin brother and you are
in love with the same girl? Well, no. That's
the whole point is it's like, OK, you have a
preference. I'm going to try to make it so that
I don't like the same girls as you. Yes. Well,
OK, there are a couple of comments here. Not
the a hole. You did the right thing by telling
her if a guy was dating message my sister, something
like that, I'd want to know right away. The fact
that she's defending him instead of even considering
your side is a red flag. Huge. She's got her
blinders on. Woods, get out. Sorry, guys. That
was my dog. She's got her blinders on and she
ain't taking them off anytime soon. No, she's
and when for what? The guy sounds like a goofball.
And here's another thing. I think that Kayla
is jealous of this twin sister, too, because
I I feel like. There's there sounded like there's
something there because for her to just be like
you're lying you did something You're the reason
why he would message you that block and if you
were just judging the book by its cover She also
said Kayla is the one that like wears makeup
all the time and is always like getting more
Dressed up like fancier type stuff. Yeah says
that in the beginning So it just seems like she's
more more outward more needing more of that type
of like gratification as opposed to this girl
who's like a hermit yeah that makes sense well
i have an update oh two weeks later yeah so yeah
this all sucks i hadn't heard from kayla at all
until a few days ago when i got a message from
her out of nowhere i'm sorry you were right no
explanation just that then my phone started blowing
up turns out ryan got caught sipping with one
of kayla's co -workers at her job like in the
office the same workspace that Kayla and Ryan
go into every day. Apparently he got caught on
security cameras sneaking back into the communal
workspace with this other female co -worker.
Her boss found out, Ryan and the co -worker got
fired, and Kayla didn't know what was going on
until after Ryan and the other girl were escorted
out of the building. Her boss is the one that
finally broke the news. I guess some of their
mutual friends knew about the affair and never
said anything, which makes this whole thing even
messier. She still hasn't fully apologized for
how she treated me. But at least the truth is
out now. I don't feel good about any of it. Just
kind of sad that I had to get this bad for her
to see who he really was. Now we're both in our
heartbreak era. Pray for us. Oh my gosh. I know.
That is insane. In the workspace? Yeah. Be so
for real. Be so for real. He's a savage. The
dude is... is off his rocker. He just really
wanted to take it to another level. I'm being
the twin sister like that. You're just crazy,
bro. And you can't make that make sense. There's
no there's not a world where like, what are you
shopping for? It's literally just. Yeah, that's
so true. Like they are twins. Well, that that
was a crazy story. Don't for shooting the shot
with the twin. Yeah. So gnarly. I don't know
if the listeners are going to be able to peg
which of those four is fake. Let us know what
you think. I will be so impressed if they get
it right. If you get this one right, I'm going
to be shocked. Oh, so shocked. Get us up TikTok,
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primarily for this week. Smoothie Box. Huge shout
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