WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.500 what's happening guys welcome to the next episode 00:00:02.500 --> 00:00:06.440 titled red green and beige flags this week we 00:00:06.440 --> 00:00:09.679 are going to be discussing four crazy stories 00:00:09.679 --> 00:00:13.000 divorcing over fertility issues spilling mom 00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:16.820 secrets to our daughter past relationship secrets 00:00:16.820 --> 00:00:21.899 huge red flags and sneaking leftovers to my ex 00:00:21.899 --> 00:00:27.609 oh they'd be crazy so Stay tuned and we'll get 00:00:27.609 --> 00:00:30.149 into them. But first, we got to recap last week's 00:00:30.149 --> 00:00:32.469 episodes and go over which one is the fake. If 00:00:32.469 --> 00:00:34.090 you're joining us for the first time, part of 00:00:34.090 --> 00:00:36.509 the premise of this podcast is that we're going 00:00:36.509 --> 00:00:38.490 to give you four stories every week, at least 00:00:38.490 --> 00:00:41.189 sometimes more. One of them is going to be completely 00:00:41.189 --> 00:00:44.630 fake generated by Chad GPT. And so it's your 00:00:44.630 --> 00:00:46.630 job as the listener to determine which one is 00:00:46.630 --> 00:00:49.310 the fake and then let us know on socials. Come 00:00:49.310 --> 00:00:51.729 through and let us know which one you think is 00:00:51.729 --> 00:00:55.000 the fake. Oh, this is going to be so good. It's 00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:57.020 crazy. That's the reason. It was really good 00:00:57.020 --> 00:00:59.579 to you though. Agreed. Yeah, it was super fun. 00:00:59.640 --> 00:01:02.060 Last week we had Ashlyn and Ryan on as guests 00:01:02.060 --> 00:01:05.640 and we had a great time and one of them guessed 00:01:05.640 --> 00:01:08.840 the fake correctly. Was it Ashlyn? You guessed 00:01:08.840 --> 00:01:12.439 it right. Shout out. Which one was the fake? 00:01:12.780 --> 00:01:16.060 The fake one was the guy with the shoplifting 00:01:16.060 --> 00:01:20.700 problem. It was the C -level executive that... 00:01:20.780 --> 00:01:22.640 had to steal from the time that he was a little 00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:24.400 kid. That was a couple of different ideas in 00:01:24.400 --> 00:01:27.079 my head and Chad GPT really put the cherry on 00:01:27.079 --> 00:01:29.700 top, but shout out to Ashlyn for getting it right. 00:01:29.879 --> 00:01:31.540 Shout out to any of you if you got it right. 00:01:31.640 --> 00:01:34.340 Yeah. I feel like that one would have been tougher, 00:01:34.599 --> 00:01:36.519 but I haven't really checked the comments. I 00:01:36.519 --> 00:01:38.859 was shocked that she got it right. So far no 00:01:38.859 --> 00:01:42.840 one else has, but it's crazy little secret here 00:01:42.840 --> 00:01:46.159 and I won't say anything else. So silver little 00:01:46.159 --> 00:01:49.840 secret secret. Joe got that story based off someone 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:53.939 he knows It's true somebody that they used to 00:01:53.939 --> 00:01:56.719 compulsively steal one of the items listed in 00:01:56.719 --> 00:02:04.219 the story That's that's a real thing people do 00:02:04.219 --> 00:02:08.360 that people will steal just to steal nuts But 00:02:08.360 --> 00:02:10.379 quick should we quick recap the other ones we 00:02:10.379 --> 00:02:13.280 had the the story of the cross dresser cross 00:02:13.280 --> 00:02:16.599 dresser cross dresser house watcher that could 00:02:16.599 --> 00:02:19.159 have been fake like that is so sketched it's 00:02:19.159 --> 00:02:22.000 real op who had her husband pass away and the 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:23.840 best friend started coming around and trying 00:02:23.840 --> 00:02:26.419 to like make his move that was very real that 00:02:26.419 --> 00:02:29.060 sounds real anyway and then there was the one 00:02:29.060 --> 00:02:33.120 where the op her husband and the affair partner 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:35.939 they had twins and they both died in a car accident 00:02:35.939 --> 00:02:39.860 that was real i was really hoping that was going 00:02:39.860 --> 00:02:42.740 to be the fake but it wasn't all the family being 00:02:42.740 --> 00:02:45.819 like no you should take care of the your cheating 00:02:45.819 --> 00:02:48.560 husband's kids, because he's gone now. That's 00:02:48.560 --> 00:02:52.060 insane. It's crazy. So sketch. But anyway, that 00:02:52.060 --> 00:02:54.740 was that was a super fun episode. Yes. Thank 00:02:54.740 --> 00:02:59.000 you to Ashlyn and Ryan for coming on. And we've 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:01.439 got some some more fun guests coming up. You 00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:02.719 guys will be able to see it's gonna be a good 00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:05.740 time. Really, really, really, really, really, 00:03:05.740 --> 00:03:07.840 really fun time. Speaking of fun times, Joe and 00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:10.199 I just go back from San Diego. And that was really 00:03:10.199 --> 00:03:13.819 fun. We went and saw Hardy. That's right. You 00:03:13.819 --> 00:03:17.979 are a diehard Hardy fan like us. We love you 00:03:17.979 --> 00:03:20.680 And if you're not we still love you, but we love 00:03:20.680 --> 00:03:24.020 Hardy. We have loved him from the beginning and 00:03:24.020 --> 00:03:28.020 it was so Amazing seeing him live. That was it 00:03:28.020 --> 00:03:30.259 was super cool. If you guys are music fans I'm 00:03:30.259 --> 00:03:33.539 a diehard like I'm like passionate music guy 00:03:33.539 --> 00:03:36.139 always loved Hardy for the last like six years 00:03:36.139 --> 00:03:38.080 or so There was other guys that were on the tour 00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:41.539 that were awesome to McCoy Moore opened Yeah. 00:03:41.639 --> 00:03:45.300 And he signed a record deal last week, last Monday. 00:03:46.180 --> 00:03:48.099 So brand, brand new. Go check his stuff out. 00:03:48.120 --> 00:03:51.120 It's McCoy Moore. Yeah. Steven Wilson Jr. opened. 00:03:51.460 --> 00:03:53.719 Coe Wetzel was also on the tour, but he had to 00:03:53.719 --> 00:03:56.620 leave because his kid was born. Yeah. So that's 00:03:56.620 --> 00:03:58.159 super exciting for him. We didn't get to see 00:03:58.159 --> 00:04:00.479 Coe. We were a little bummed about that, but 00:04:00.479 --> 00:04:03.520 congrats to him on having the baby. And McCoy 00:04:03.520 --> 00:04:07.699 Moore, Steven Wilson Jr. were insane. especially 00:04:07.699 --> 00:04:10.039 Stephen Wilson Jr. Then Hardy's production. If 00:04:10.039 --> 00:04:12.139 you get a chance, it's the Jim Bob World Tour. 00:04:12.599 --> 00:04:14.900 Yeah. Snack tickets if he comes through because 00:04:14.900 --> 00:04:18.980 it was a party. The whole production was just 00:04:18.980 --> 00:04:22.819 insane. And Hardy can sing and then he can scream. 00:04:23.560 --> 00:04:26.120 And he sounds so good. And he put on a killer 00:04:26.120 --> 00:04:28.500 show for so long. Yeah, the whole time it was 00:04:28.500 --> 00:04:30.319 going so ham. I was so impressed. I was like, 00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:32.759 how is this dude not dying? But it was really, 00:04:32.759 --> 00:04:35.639 really fun. So anyways, yeah, we're back now. 00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:37.139 We're excited. We're looking forward to this 00:04:37.139 --> 00:04:39.240 week's episode. Thanks for tagging along and 00:04:39.240 --> 00:04:42.459 let's get into it. Let's get into it. Red, green, 00:04:42.579 --> 00:04:46.920 and beige flags. The first story is a goodie. 00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:48.860 Might be my favorite one. Personally, I don't 00:04:48.860 --> 00:04:50.639 know about you guys, but when I am listening 00:04:50.639 --> 00:04:53.879 to stories, I just need a snack. I need a snack. 00:04:53.959 --> 00:04:55.939 I need a candy. I need something. So let me just 00:04:55.939 --> 00:04:58.660 grab it real fast. Oh, that's so much better. 00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:00.600 Much better, except for I need one of these. 00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:03.720 I need this one. Guys, I hope I'm saying this 00:05:03.720 --> 00:05:08.040 right, but Cathy has sent us some candy and it's 00:05:08.040 --> 00:05:11.480 no animal gelatin. It's vegan. It's so much better 00:05:11.480 --> 00:05:13.399 for you than just regular candy you're going 00:05:13.399 --> 00:05:17.600 to find at the gas station. It is delicious. 00:05:17.920 --> 00:05:21.959 Look them up. It's Katya's A -A -T -J -E -S. 00:05:22.060 --> 00:05:23.860 We are so excited because we are going to be 00:05:23.860 --> 00:05:27.740 doing a giveaway with Katya USA. We're teaming 00:05:27.740 --> 00:05:29.439 up with the best vegan gummies on the planet 00:05:29.439 --> 00:05:32.240 to give two lucky followers a sweet surprise. 00:05:32.540 --> 00:05:35.339 Here's how to enter. Follow internet frenzy and 00:05:35.339 --> 00:05:38.120 Katya's USA on Instagram. You're going to go 00:05:38.120 --> 00:05:41.519 to our giveaway post on our Instagram and like 00:05:41.519 --> 00:05:43.480 and save the post and then all you're going to 00:05:43.480 --> 00:05:45.389 do is tag three friends. in the comments and 00:05:45.389 --> 00:05:47.970 that's it. You'll be entered to win Katia's candy 00:05:47.970 --> 00:05:50.930 ship straight to your door and winners will be 00:05:50.930 --> 00:05:53.269 announced the following Tuesday. Don't miss your 00:05:53.269 --> 00:05:56.009 chance to snag the sweets. The candy is delish 00:05:56.009 --> 00:05:59.069 so if you're a candy fiend like me get you some 00:05:59.069 --> 00:06:02.129 Katia's. But listen, story number one coming 00:06:02.129 --> 00:06:04.629 right up and if you if you foodgas them again 00:06:04.629 --> 00:06:25.920 it's like it's fine it happens. All right, this 00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:29.360 one comes from best of Redditor updates And there's 00:06:29.360 --> 00:06:31.819 only one update. That's a good one buckle up. 00:06:31.819 --> 00:06:34.240 Am I the a -hole for divorcing my husband for 00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:48.660 being infertile? Yeah, so I'm just gonna say 00:06:48.660 --> 00:06:51.480 brace yourself. I 29F have been with my husband 00:06:51.480 --> 00:06:54.600 29M for six years, married for three. We both 00:06:54.600 --> 00:06:56.560 come from family oriented backgrounds and have 00:06:56.560 --> 00:06:59.019 always wanted kids. We're financially stable 00:06:59.019 --> 00:07:02.279 and provide a child an amazing life. We've officially 00:07:02.279 --> 00:07:05.639 started trying for a baby in early 2023. After 00:07:05.639 --> 00:07:07.399 months of nothing, I started to get worried. 00:07:07.620 --> 00:07:09.779 I wanted to get our fertility checked then, but 00:07:09.779 --> 00:07:12.519 he said I was being a worry rat. Let's wait a 00:07:12.519 --> 00:07:15.639 year of trying before we get any testing. A year 00:07:15.639 --> 00:07:17.980 was in February and I scheduled our testing then. 00:07:18.519 --> 00:07:20.819 The results shocked us. We were both ignorant 00:07:20.819 --> 00:07:23.139 and assumed that I was the one with the issues, 00:07:23.800 --> 00:07:26.379 if there was one. I mainly see women talking 00:07:26.379 --> 00:07:28.259 about being infertile so it didn't cross our 00:07:28.259 --> 00:07:30.740 mind it could be something else. The doctor calls 00:07:30.740 --> 00:07:32.980 us in and one of the worst days of our lives 00:07:32.980 --> 00:07:35.519 tells us that my husband has a condition called 00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:39.230 azuspermia, meaning he has no sperm. In his case, 00:07:39.250 --> 00:07:41.649 they say that the surgery to extract directly 00:07:41.649 --> 00:07:43.930 from his testicle doesn't seem that it will yield 00:07:43.930 --> 00:07:46.790 high results, but it wouldn't hurt to try. My 00:07:46.790 --> 00:07:49.430 husband and I were devastated. I wanted us to 00:07:49.430 --> 00:07:52.350 explore all routes, him taking the medication 00:07:52.350 --> 00:07:55.029 and getting the surgery. And if that fails, either 00:07:55.029 --> 00:07:57.970 a sperm donor or adoption. I understand this 00:07:57.970 --> 00:08:00.069 is life changing news, especially for my husband. 00:08:00.189 --> 00:08:02.069 But since February, he's refused to do anything 00:08:02.069 --> 00:08:04.430 about it. He said he doesn't want to take meds 00:08:04.430 --> 00:08:06.389 and get the surgery if it will be a waste like 00:08:06.389 --> 00:08:09.089 the doctor thinks. that using a sperm donor makes 00:08:09.089 --> 00:08:11.389 him feel emasculated and he doesn't want to raise 00:08:11.389 --> 00:08:14.269 my child with another man's DNA even if it's 00:08:14.269 --> 00:08:16.769 from a relative of his and that the adoption 00:08:16.769 --> 00:08:18.990 and that adoption isn't something that he's ever 00:08:18.990 --> 00:08:21.490 wanted I have no one to talk to about this in 00:08:21.490 --> 00:08:23.350 real life since he doesn't want his diagnosis 00:08:23.350 --> 00:08:25.790 out there it's been affecting me really bad mentally 00:08:25.790 --> 00:08:28.050 there's nothing more I want than to be a mom 00:08:28.050 --> 00:08:30.829 I've begged him to go to therapy and he refuses 00:08:30.829 --> 00:08:33.889 saying he accepts it I'm the one that isn't Every 00:08:33.889 --> 00:08:35.730 time I try to start a conversation, he shuts 00:08:35.730 --> 00:08:37.769 it down by saying that we will never have a child 00:08:37.769 --> 00:08:40.149 together. He will never be able to be a real 00:08:40.149 --> 00:08:43.149 dad. So to move on, I know what I want for myself. 00:08:43.269 --> 00:08:45.509 And that's motherhood. I'm willing to go down 00:08:45.509 --> 00:08:47.850 any avenue to motherhood, but he doesn't want 00:08:47.850 --> 00:08:50.509 to. I realized this past summer that he's right. 00:08:50.610 --> 00:08:52.840 We will never have a child together. I had one 00:08:52.840 --> 00:08:54.980 final conversation with him since he avoids the 00:08:54.980 --> 00:08:57.200 topic like the plague last night. I sat him down 00:08:57.200 --> 00:08:59.139 and said I empathize with him about this life 00:08:59.139 --> 00:09:00.960 -changing diagnosis and that he doesn't want 00:09:00.960 --> 00:09:03.120 to get the surgery, which I respect, or use a 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:05.539 donor or adopt, but that I want to be a mom and 00:09:05.539 --> 00:09:07.620 I'm not getting any younger. And if he isn't 00:09:07.620 --> 00:09:09.879 willing to explore any avenue or go to fertility 00:09:09.879 --> 00:09:13.200 therapy, that I want a divorce. He broke down 00:09:13.200 --> 00:09:15.340 saying he can't believe I would be willing to 00:09:15.340 --> 00:09:17.700 walk away from our marriage over this. that if 00:09:17.700 --> 00:09:19.679 the shoe was on the other foot, he would never 00:09:19.679 --> 00:09:22.000 leave me for being infertile. He says I'm a horrible 00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:24.019 person and that I'm punishing him for something 00:09:24.019 --> 00:09:26.460 he can't control. I told him it's not for being 00:09:26.460 --> 00:09:29.019 infertile, I can work with that, but that it's 00:09:29.019 --> 00:09:31.159 because he's refusing to go down any route to 00:09:31.159 --> 00:09:32.960 become a parent knowing that's something we both 00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:35.840 wanted. He says that I never loved him, otherwise 00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:38.139 I would never contemplate divorce over kids that 00:09:38.139 --> 00:09:40.639 don't exist yet. He cried about it afterwards 00:09:40.639 --> 00:09:43.759 and refused to let me console him. I feel so 00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:46.159 horrible. But what else can I do? Continue begging 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:48.740 him to change his mind or speak to a professional? 00:09:48.919 --> 00:09:51.480 He only wants bio kids and refuses to do the 00:09:51.480 --> 00:09:54.320 surgery because it's too much prep. Daily vitamins, 00:09:54.460 --> 00:09:57.539 meds, no hot showers, etc. Am I the a -hole? 00:10:00.940 --> 00:10:05.299 I don't know. I think he's being more the a -hole. 00:10:05.480 --> 00:10:10.159 Okay, but also, I changed my mind. She needs 00:10:10.159 --> 00:10:14.210 to give him time. To like really come to terms 00:10:14.210 --> 00:10:16.870 with all this because that's huge how much time 00:10:16.870 --> 00:10:20.769 at least a year is there 29 Yeah, at least a 00:10:20.769 --> 00:10:24.389 year. I just think she's it's too much for him. 00:10:24.429 --> 00:10:28.049 Like you just found this like Terrible news that's 00:10:28.049 --> 00:10:30.470 gonna crush him. It doesn't feel like a man. 00:10:30.470 --> 00:10:33.350 He doesn't want to do it any other way He needs 00:10:33.350 --> 00:10:36.610 time to like come to terms with it before they 00:10:36.610 --> 00:10:40.879 do even discuss like adoption or The sperm donor 00:10:40.879 --> 00:10:42.820 one I understand that I feel like that would 00:10:42.820 --> 00:10:46.500 be really really hard but adoption that's something 00:10:46.500 --> 00:10:49.460 where it's like She's definitely compromising 00:10:49.460 --> 00:10:51.980 at that point because she's not gonna be able 00:10:51.980 --> 00:10:54.620 to like carry the baby and experience that type 00:10:54.620 --> 00:10:58.600 of Whatever experience motherhood. Yeah. Oh What 00:10:58.600 --> 00:11:01.759 do you think? Well, my first my knee -jerk reaction 00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:04.879 was like dude sack up like when we went through 00:11:04.879 --> 00:11:08.720 our fertility struggles In my mind, like I was 00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:11.379 thinking, okay, fine, let's adopt. Look, I was 00:11:11.379 --> 00:11:13.759 like, what, whatever we have to do to start this 00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:16.960 process, like, let's do it. Is it not ideal? 00:11:17.220 --> 00:11:21.600 Like, right. It's not, it's not necessarily ideal. 00:11:21.740 --> 00:11:23.200 It's not what you call for. It's not what you 00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:27.279 imagine growing up, but it's also a really good, 00:11:27.480 --> 00:11:30.360 positive thing. And so yeah, I get it that it 00:11:30.360 --> 00:11:33.580 could take time to come to that conclusion, but 00:11:33.580 --> 00:11:36.080 the part that I was missing that the update is 00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:39.649 going to point out. is like this is this is squarely 00:11:39.649 --> 00:11:43.990 on him like it is it's not like a mystery why 00:11:43.990 --> 00:11:47.330 they're not having kids and so there's there's 00:11:47.330 --> 00:11:49.309 kind of this big elephant in the room that's 00:11:49.309 --> 00:11:52.429 like totally affecting his thought pattern and 00:11:52.429 --> 00:11:55.529 and what he's doing so we'll read the update 00:11:55.529 --> 00:11:57.730 but before we go on to the update those of you 00:11:57.730 --> 00:11:59.710 that are listening go to our socials right now 00:11:59.710 --> 00:12:02.070 tell us what you think give your feedback enter 00:12:02.070 --> 00:12:04.889 the convo because i want to see i want to hear 00:12:04.889 --> 00:12:07.879 it but there's a lot of good a lot of good comments 00:12:07.879 --> 00:12:10.379 best of redditor updates is the best place to 00:12:10.379 --> 00:12:12.840 deep dive so you can go and read the story yourself 00:12:12.840 --> 00:12:16.259 if you'd like to read all of the all the comments 00:12:16.259 --> 00:12:18.159 and kind of the feedback that people are giving 00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:21.620 a lot of it has to do with like dude sorry but 00:12:21.620 --> 00:12:23.840 this guy kind of have to hold a mirror up like 00:12:23.840 --> 00:12:25.899 this is something he's gonna have to come to 00:12:25.899 --> 00:12:28.320 terms with and the update comes eight months 00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:33.100 later so the final judgment is that op with this 00:12:33.100 --> 00:12:36.009 desire to be a mother is not the a -hole Oh, 00:12:36.009 --> 00:12:39.250 okay. And eight months later, we get an update. 00:12:41.629 --> 00:12:45.990 Is she pregnant? Let us find out. Or she's gone 00:12:45.990 --> 00:12:47.809 and maybe she's pregnant with the next guy's 00:12:47.809 --> 00:12:49.929 kid. That's what I thought. Hello, everyone. 00:12:50.230 --> 00:12:52.529 I posted this last year and received so much 00:12:52.529 --> 00:12:54.929 amazing feedback that genuinely changed my life. 00:12:55.029 --> 00:12:57.549 Since no one in my personal life knew what was 00:12:57.549 --> 00:12:59.330 going on, being able to talk about it and get 00:12:59.330 --> 00:13:02.139 so much amazing advice was great. A lot of the 00:13:02.139 --> 00:13:04.159 people in the comments opened my eyes up to the 00:13:04.159 --> 00:13:06.200 possibility that he was refusing the surgery 00:13:06.200 --> 00:13:08.620 since that would be the final nail in the coffin. 00:13:08.889 --> 00:13:11.330 that if it failed, that would be the end and 00:13:11.330 --> 00:13:13.269 that could be the reason he was refusing to do 00:13:13.269 --> 00:13:15.389 anything. I took some time after posting that 00:13:15.389 --> 00:13:17.590 to do some self -reflection on the whole scenario 00:13:17.590 --> 00:13:20.029 and to go at the situation differently. We spoke 00:13:20.029 --> 00:13:21.990 about it extensively and I told him about how 00:13:21.990 --> 00:13:24.490 I completely understand his fears in not wanting 00:13:24.490 --> 00:13:26.970 to do the surgery, but I really want us to try 00:13:26.970 --> 00:13:29.090 a fertility therapist and we could just do one 00:13:29.090 --> 00:13:31.289 session. It didn't have to be a deep commitment. 00:13:31.409 --> 00:13:33.730 He agreed and that therapy session went amazing. 00:13:34.230 --> 00:13:36.610 We both spoke separately and then together and 00:13:36.610 --> 00:13:40.100 we did five sessions overall. Shout out therapy. 00:13:40.419 --> 00:13:42.419 You guys were right. My husband was scared to 00:13:42.419 --> 00:13:44.120 try anything because he didn't want it to fail 00:13:44.120 --> 00:13:47.279 He was pre rejecting the rejection He opened 00:13:47.279 --> 00:13:49.480 up to me about a lot of fears and anxiety about 00:13:49.480 --> 00:13:52.039 his diagnosis We deeply connected afterwards 00:13:52.039 --> 00:13:56.360 and got even closer as a couple I know shout 00:13:56.360 --> 00:13:59.820 out therapy. It's that's that's so good One day 00:13:59.820 --> 00:14:01.820 I saw vitamins on his dresser and realized he'd 00:14:01.820 --> 00:14:04.000 been taking them without even telling me I was 00:14:04.000 --> 00:14:06.840 so happy We did another sperm analysis and they 00:14:06.840 --> 00:14:11.039 saw two sperm We were so happy. Then to my complete 00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:13.500 and utter surprise, my husband forwards me an 00:14:13.500 --> 00:14:16.500 email. He scheduled a consultation for the micro 00:14:16.500 --> 00:14:19.539 T surgery in December. It went well and he was 00:14:19.539 --> 00:14:21.960 approved for surgery this February. We went in 00:14:21.960 --> 00:14:24.340 with low expectations and to still be happy at 00:14:24.340 --> 00:14:26.480 the progress he's made, but they were able to 00:14:26.480 --> 00:14:29.360 get three sperm. My husband and I were ecstatic 00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:31.500 and couldn't stop crying. Everything went well 00:14:31.500 --> 00:14:34.519 at his two week checkup. Best ever. Now we're 00:14:34.519 --> 00:14:37.120 in the process of IVF. I started taking medication 00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:39.360 to do my egg retrieval right after his surgery 00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:41.840 and so far I have 12 eggs. Last month we just 00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:46.179 found out we have two embryos. Both healthy, 00:14:46.299 --> 00:14:48.860 one boy and one girl. Our implantation date for 00:14:48.860 --> 00:14:50.860 our daughter was May 1st and I tested positive 00:14:50.860 --> 00:14:54.320 a few days ago. We are so so happy. I'm so happy 00:14:54.320 --> 00:14:55.960 that we were able to get through this bump in 00:14:55.960 --> 00:14:58.519 the road. This has been amazing. I'm so happy 00:14:58.519 --> 00:15:01.159 my husband's fear and my sadness to this fear 00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:03.909 was something we were able to get over. We have 00:15:03.909 --> 00:15:06.470 both extensively apologized to each other, him 00:15:06.470 --> 00:15:08.570 for shutting down and wanting to give up, and 00:15:08.570 --> 00:15:10.710 me for not being more understanding to the life 00:15:10.710 --> 00:15:12.830 -changing news. Thank you guys again for all 00:15:12.830 --> 00:15:15.470 the advice you gave me. That was so cute. I love 00:15:15.470 --> 00:15:18.549 that story. Is that the best one ever? Yes, that's 00:15:18.549 --> 00:15:20.730 probably one of my favorite ones we've ever told 00:15:20.730 --> 00:15:23.389 because that just hits so close to home for me. 00:15:23.889 --> 00:15:28.509 That's it. Infertility sucks. It sucks so bad. 00:15:28.710 --> 00:15:32.320 It feels so hopeless. And it's one thing that's 00:15:32.320 --> 00:15:34.159 interesting, but I feel like this story points 00:15:34.159 --> 00:15:37.559 out really like poignantly is that for a lot 00:15:37.559 --> 00:15:39.940 of women, not all, but for a lot of women, that 00:15:39.940 --> 00:15:42.840 desire to have a baby is like, it goes deep. 00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:46.179 That maternal instinct is like something that 00:15:46.179 --> 00:15:49.399 is just innate in so many women. And so even 00:15:49.399 --> 00:15:51.700 though it is hard for us men, it's a totally 00:15:51.700 --> 00:15:53.759 different thing. And this kind of pointed that 00:15:53.759 --> 00:15:56.820 out. He shut his feelings off. He's like, nope, 00:15:56.879 --> 00:15:59.120 this sucks. It's never going to happen. Like, 00:15:59.820 --> 00:16:03.889 sorry. and her longing like led her to the point 00:16:03.889 --> 00:16:05.950 where she didn't have any other option. She had 00:16:05.950 --> 00:16:08.789 to do something else to become a mom. And ultimately 00:16:08.789 --> 00:16:11.309 that led to them getting the help that they needed, 00:16:11.450 --> 00:16:15.730 the therapy, another therapy success story. Go 00:16:15.730 --> 00:16:19.429 to therapy guys. And honestly, we love therapy. 00:16:20.330 --> 00:16:24.769 We love everything about it. Big believers. We're 00:16:24.769 --> 00:16:26.590 just gonna move on to the next one. And I'm sorry 00:16:26.590 --> 00:16:28.389 in advance guys, it's all downhill from here. 00:16:30.299 --> 00:16:33.299 Okay, that was a green flag. So this one comes 00:16:33.299 --> 00:16:36.120 from Emae the A -hole. Emae the A -hole for breaking 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:38.279 up with my new girlfriend because she said her 00:16:38.279 --> 00:16:41.279 past is none of my business. So I recently got 00:16:41.279 --> 00:16:43.659 together with my now ex. Things were going good 00:16:43.659 --> 00:16:46.059 during the dating stage. Anyways, she introduced 00:16:46.059 --> 00:16:48.980 me to some of her friends, including a male friend 00:16:48.980 --> 00:16:51.659 of hers. She had other male friends, but this 00:16:51.659 --> 00:16:53.440 one in particular made me feel uncomfortable 00:16:53.440 --> 00:16:56.240 with how we acted with my new girlfriend. So 00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:58.179 I asked my girlfriend if there was any history 00:16:58.179 --> 00:17:01.019 between them. My girlfriend then says, that is 00:17:01.019 --> 00:17:04.240 none of your business. My past is none of your 00:17:04.240 --> 00:17:07.779 business. Honestly, I've been here before. Another 00:17:07.779 --> 00:17:11.500 ex I had did this BS and cheated on me. So I 00:17:11.500 --> 00:17:13.380 told her we were done right then and there. I 00:17:13.380 --> 00:17:15.500 don't think she expected me to actually break 00:17:15.500 --> 00:17:17.839 up with her then. She followed me to my car and 00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:19.779 said, we can talk about this. But I told her 00:17:19.779 --> 00:17:22.019 no. If she's going to be like that, it's better 00:17:22.019 --> 00:17:24.700 if we are together. I'll be honest, I kind of 00:17:24.700 --> 00:17:26.640 forced myself to act like I didn't care and can 00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:29.059 walk away like nothing. Like, I'm not hurting 00:17:29.059 --> 00:17:34.339 because I broke up, but I am. I have so many 00:17:34.339 --> 00:17:37.720 thoughts. So many thoughts. First of all, to 00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:41.960 address her. Yeah. Massive red flag. Like, what 00:17:41.960 --> 00:17:44.880 do you guys think? If you start a new relationship 00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:46.900 and you're in a group setting and all of a sudden 00:17:46.900 --> 00:17:50.200 there's this weird chemistry between like your 00:17:50.200 --> 00:17:53.279 now girlfriend and somebody else, you'd kind 00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:57.109 of be like, hmm. I'm not a jealous person by 00:17:57.109 --> 00:17:59.910 nature. So like, this is like on a spectrum, 00:18:00.069 --> 00:18:03.150 right? People have different feelings on this 00:18:03.150 --> 00:18:05.289 kind of stuff, but if you're aware of it, if 00:18:05.289 --> 00:18:07.809 something feels off and you can't even ask about 00:18:07.809 --> 00:18:10.190 it. I mean, he's like, hey, do you guys, like 00:18:10.190 --> 00:18:12.549 have you guys dated before? And who knows? Like 00:18:12.549 --> 00:18:14.769 I'm thinking in a worst case scenario, if OP 00:18:14.769 --> 00:18:19.730 was like the super controlling type and like 00:18:19.730 --> 00:18:22.349 really jealous type, then I could see her being 00:18:22.349 --> 00:18:25.789 like, I don't want to go down. this road. Like, 00:18:26.190 --> 00:18:28.029 I don't want to go and discuss all this stuff 00:18:28.029 --> 00:18:29.890 just for you to be like worried about everything. 00:18:30.309 --> 00:18:32.750 But he doesn't sound that way in the way that 00:18:32.750 --> 00:18:35.470 he wrote the post, I feel like a little context 00:18:35.470 --> 00:18:38.309 is missing. But either way, you should be able 00:18:38.309 --> 00:18:41.869 to openly discuss your past relationships, especially 00:18:41.869 --> 00:18:44.430 if they're still in your life, you're still in 00:18:44.430 --> 00:18:50.069 that circle 1000%. Yeah, no, I whether he's controlling 00:18:50.069 --> 00:18:53.549 or not, I feel like there is no reason at all. 00:18:53.789 --> 00:18:57.450 that you should not disclose that no and for 00:18:57.450 --> 00:19:00.650 different contexts we come from a very different 00:19:00.650 --> 00:19:04.529 background a different whole thing like imagine 00:19:04.529 --> 00:19:07.250 being our age now and you're living in some big 00:19:07.250 --> 00:19:09.769 city and you have these big circles of friends 00:19:09.769 --> 00:19:12.109 like you're gonna run into people that have been 00:19:12.109 --> 00:19:15.329 with other people like it's it's a foreign concept 00:19:15.329 --> 00:19:18.009 to us because we got married very young and like 00:19:18.009 --> 00:19:20.609 for instance i didn't have a circle when i came 00:19:20.609 --> 00:19:25.200 here yeah so it's just a if you get to be older 00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:27.759 and you're dating and you live in this area, 00:19:27.819 --> 00:19:30.400 like you have lots of mutuals, I could just see 00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:34.859 it being a little bit more complicated is the 00:19:34.859 --> 00:19:37.380 way that I would put it. The problem though is 00:19:37.380 --> 00:19:39.859 that she wasn't willing to say, oh yeah, like 00:19:39.859 --> 00:19:42.920 we dated or oh yeah, we hooked up or whatever. 00:19:43.099 --> 00:19:46.079 It was like none of your business. And he's sitting 00:19:46.079 --> 00:19:48.720 here like, okay, well, there's clearly a chemistry, 00:19:48.940 --> 00:19:51.789 like I'm not stupid. It's not like. there's something 00:19:51.789 --> 00:19:54.150 here. So did you guys used to date? Like, why 00:19:54.150 --> 00:19:56.690 are you guys so chummy? Yeah, no. And that's 00:19:56.690 --> 00:19:59.569 I agree. That is a massive red flag. Yeah, it's 00:19:59.569 --> 00:20:02.529 you should be able to express it. I just was 00:20:02.529 --> 00:20:05.029 making space for the fact that it could be more 00:20:05.029 --> 00:20:08.130 complicated than just like, hey, like, yeah, 00:20:08.130 --> 00:20:10.490 I don't I didn't know your ex. So like, why would 00:20:10.490 --> 00:20:12.589 be fine? You could tell me anything about your 00:20:12.589 --> 00:20:14.529 guys's relationship. It's not going to affect 00:20:14.529 --> 00:20:18.480 our relationship. But yeah, it's like they If 00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:20.559 they are friends, they've been in the same circles 00:20:20.559 --> 00:20:22.599 or whatever. And like it could totally change 00:20:22.599 --> 00:20:24.779 things if he was just like, we are never seeing 00:20:24.779 --> 00:20:26.680 him again. You dated him. So we're never going 00:20:26.680 --> 00:20:28.759 to be around him again. Then I could see her 00:20:28.759 --> 00:20:30.579 being like, OK, well, that sucks. I'm going to 00:20:30.579 --> 00:20:32.940 lose like my group. Yeah, that kind of thing. 00:20:33.980 --> 00:20:36.660 But regardless, it's I'm still on OP side when 00:20:36.660 --> 00:20:39.880 it comes to like, that's not chill. Yeah. And 00:20:39.880 --> 00:20:42.940 I love I love that he's like, all right, I know 00:20:42.940 --> 00:20:45.500 I know what I need to know now. I come out. I 00:20:45.500 --> 00:20:48.000 love that he just dumped her right then and there. 00:20:48.119 --> 00:20:50.500 This girl sounded like a freaking pompous little 00:20:50.500 --> 00:20:53.720 bit. Whoa, sorry about that. I stopped myself. 00:20:53.740 --> 00:20:56.680 You should put this in your mouth. How about 00:20:56.680 --> 00:21:03.779 pompous little unicorn? Much better. No, but 00:21:03.779 --> 00:21:08.960 it takes a level of maybe just self -esteem. 00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:11.839 It takes a lot to be in the beginning stages 00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:14.470 of relationship and be like, okay. That's enough 00:21:14.470 --> 00:21:16.529 of a red flag for me to be like, nah, I'm good. 00:21:18.430 --> 00:21:20.569 And to each their own on whether or not that 00:21:20.569 --> 00:21:23.390 is, if that calls for breaking up. I just think 00:21:23.390 --> 00:21:26.670 if you can't be open with your partner, especially 00:21:26.670 --> 00:21:28.630 from the beginning, like what do you have? One 00:21:28.630 --> 00:21:31.009 of the comments on here, it said from throw the 00:21:31.009 --> 00:21:33.910 cloud away 20, says OP isn't really concerned 00:21:33.910 --> 00:21:36.410 about their past. He's worried about the potential 00:21:36.410 --> 00:21:39.490 present or future. Yeah. Yeah. And I thought 00:21:39.490 --> 00:21:41.150 that was kind of funny because when I read that, 00:21:41.150 --> 00:21:44.650 I also thought about The girlfriend she's not 00:21:44.650 --> 00:21:46.549 so much worried about like the past and having 00:21:46.549 --> 00:21:49.230 to tell him about it He's worried that once she 00:21:49.230 --> 00:21:51.190 tells him then the present or future is gonna 00:21:51.190 --> 00:21:53.589 have to change Because if she was hooking up 00:21:53.589 --> 00:21:55.950 with him, it's not like he's gonna be cool with 00:21:55.950 --> 00:21:58.990 them all hanging out like you said or Yeah, I 00:21:58.990 --> 00:22:01.089 mean and everyone's different with that kind 00:22:01.089 --> 00:22:03.730 of stuff. Truly everyone has different levels 00:22:03.730 --> 00:22:07.589 of like what they are comfortable with but starting 00:22:07.589 --> 00:22:10.750 out with lying Doesn't work or starting out with 00:22:10.750 --> 00:22:14.130 concealing the truth does not work for the long 00:22:14.130 --> 00:22:17.509 term. Yeah, for sure. And something, it's like 00:22:17.509 --> 00:22:21.309 she was, she was point blank withholding information. 00:22:21.690 --> 00:22:24.190 It's none of your business who I've dated. It's 00:22:24.190 --> 00:22:26.089 like, okay, well, if you have dated this guy 00:22:26.089 --> 00:22:28.250 and you want to still hang out, let's start out 00:22:28.250 --> 00:22:31.329 by you explaining what the nature of your relationship 00:22:31.329 --> 00:22:33.349 was. And like, I'm not saying that you're gonna 00:22:33.349 --> 00:22:35.549 have to destroy your friend group. Let's just, 00:22:35.730 --> 00:22:38.029 let's just be open with each other. If you guys 00:22:38.029 --> 00:22:41.519 did date, that is fine. because you had a past 00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:44.539 before we got together were yeah in our late 00:22:44.539 --> 00:22:47.539 20s early 30s yes you've dated other people and 00:22:47.539 --> 00:22:50.000 also just be respectful like when we're all together 00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:51.480 i don't want to be looking at you guys being 00:22:51.480 --> 00:22:53.180 like wow they have so much chemistry together 00:22:53.180 --> 00:22:55.619 you're not thinking that unless they're actually 00:22:55.619 --> 00:22:57.940 like actively well and he didn't even say that 00:22:57.940 --> 00:23:00.339 but having a good old times i said i said the 00:23:00.339 --> 00:23:02.660 chemistry part but yes oh he didn't no he didn't 00:23:02.660 --> 00:23:04.779 say anything about chemistry he just said that 00:23:04.779 --> 00:23:08.670 one of the one of the guys like he noticed Made 00:23:08.670 --> 00:23:10.369 me feel uncomfortable with how he acted with 00:23:10.369 --> 00:23:13.509 my new girlfriend. Yeah Hmm. Yeah wonder what 00:23:13.509 --> 00:23:17.269 that was. Yeah. Well, that's my story Red flag 00:23:17.269 --> 00:23:20.970 beige flag green flag. Oh major red. Yeah major 00:23:20.970 --> 00:23:23.170 red flag. Okay. Yeah. No, there's no question. 00:23:23.750 --> 00:23:27.529 It's Open or bust this one comes from am I the 00:23:27.529 --> 00:23:29.710 asshole? Am I the asshole for telling my daughter 00:23:29.710 --> 00:23:32.230 that her mom cheated on me? When my daughter 00:23:32.230 --> 00:23:34.349 said my new girlfriend looks like an only -pants 00:23:34.349 --> 00:23:37.960 chick throwaway account and fake names I 49 M 00:23:37.960 --> 00:23:41.079 got divorced from my wife Emily 49 F because 00:23:41.079 --> 00:23:44.180 she cheated on me with multiple men we have a 00:23:44.180 --> 00:23:47.079 son and a daughter our son 22 M has always been 00:23:47.079 --> 00:23:50.420 closer to his mom and our daughter 19 F has always 00:23:50.420 --> 00:23:53.259 been closer to me not knowing why we got divorced 00:23:53.259 --> 00:23:56.079 the kids took their mom's side I recently started 00:23:56.079 --> 00:24:00.839 dating Lisa 54 F she has a fun personality she's 00:24:00.839 --> 00:24:04.460 smoking hot and she dresses very fun When I introduced 00:24:04.460 --> 00:24:07.400 Lisa to my kids, Nick took a liking to, oh, sorry, 00:24:07.640 --> 00:24:10.259 Nick is the boy, Skylar is the girl. When I introduced 00:24:10.259 --> 00:24:12.839 Lisa to my kids, Nick took a liking to her while 00:24:12.839 --> 00:24:15.720 Skylar looked annoyed. Days later, Skylar said 00:24:15.720 --> 00:24:18.440 that Lisa looks like an OnlyFans chick. If you 00:24:18.440 --> 00:24:20.519 knew Skylar, you would be shocked that she would 00:24:20.519 --> 00:24:23.220 use that as a way to insult another woman. I 00:24:23.220 --> 00:24:25.519 told her that her mom, Emily, was the one who 00:24:25.519 --> 00:24:28.079 cheated on me, and that I met Lisa after the 00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:31.440 divorce. Skylar just said, oh, and she got quiet. 00:24:31.680 --> 00:24:34.519 But the next day, my wife Emily confronted me. 00:24:34.859 --> 00:24:36.740 I reminded her that I never promised to keep 00:24:36.740 --> 00:24:39.319 her cheating a secret. She said that I implied 00:24:39.319 --> 00:24:41.279 that it would be a secret based on the fact that 00:24:41.279 --> 00:24:43.539 I never said whether or not I would tell our 00:24:43.539 --> 00:24:51.220 kids. Am I the asshole? Yes. Really? Yeah, I 00:24:51.220 --> 00:24:53.940 think he's the asshole because he obviously had 00:24:53.940 --> 00:24:57.019 never told the kids that the mom cheated. And 00:24:57.019 --> 00:25:00.859 he just like, there's a reason why. And then 00:25:00.859 --> 00:25:03.160 he just like popped off and was like, you think 00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:05.779 my girlfriend's an OnlyFans chick? Well, your 00:25:05.779 --> 00:25:09.440 mom cheated on me. So who's the OnlyFans chick 00:25:09.440 --> 00:25:13.180 now? And the sister just being like, the daughter 00:25:13.180 --> 00:25:17.519 being like, ouch, that hurt. Like, that's just 00:25:17.519 --> 00:25:21.099 so, like that was asshole behavior. It was not 00:25:21.099 --> 00:25:24.160 illogically, like it just was not emotionally 00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:27.880 mature at all to respond that way. That is, that's 00:25:27.880 --> 00:25:30.410 fair. that is fair to say he could have handled 00:25:30.410 --> 00:25:33.910 the situation way better but also like what a 00:25:33.910 --> 00:25:37.309 crazy life that this mom lives where the kids 00:25:37.309 --> 00:25:40.690 take her side she cheated on dad yet the kids 00:25:40.690 --> 00:25:43.470 still support her and dad's just like believe 00:25:43.470 --> 00:25:46.109 what you want kids tear my heart out stomp it 00:25:46.109 --> 00:25:49.349 on the ground but i'm gonna keep your mom's secret 00:25:49.349 --> 00:25:52.410 for some reason yeah you shouldn't he doesn't 00:25:52.410 --> 00:25:54.730 need to keep the secret it's just the way he 00:25:54.730 --> 00:25:59.230 went about finally telling what it was. Yeah, 00:25:59.809 --> 00:26:02.069 he could have done it in much better terms. But 00:26:02.069 --> 00:26:05.190 also, he mentions being surprised because his 00:26:05.190 --> 00:26:06.910 daughter is not the type that would say something 00:26:06.910 --> 00:26:09.289 like that. So it was like a lashing out behavior 00:26:09.289 --> 00:26:12.589 from her that he was just like, Whoa, they probably 00:26:12.589 --> 00:26:15.609 thought the mom was telling her that. Yeah, exactly. 00:26:15.750 --> 00:26:17.490 There'd be like that retaliation of like, well, 00:26:17.549 --> 00:26:20.630 hold on a second. Yeah. And so there is an edit. 00:26:20.670 --> 00:26:23.210 It's a short one. And it's kind of all over the 00:26:23.210 --> 00:26:25.529 place. But we'll still read it. Something of 00:26:25.529 --> 00:26:27.910 an update since I posted Even though my daughter 00:26:27.910 --> 00:26:30.589 is in her bedroom in my house, I messaged her 00:26:30.589 --> 00:26:32.589 because she said she doesn't want to see anymore. 00:26:33.349 --> 00:26:35.170 This is where it gets weird. It says she doesn't 00:26:35.170 --> 00:26:38.029 want to see anymore. I thought maybe he meant 00:26:38.029 --> 00:26:40.289 see me. But then contextually, that doesn't make 00:26:40.289 --> 00:26:42.650 a whole lot of sense. So it then goes on to say 00:26:42.650 --> 00:26:44.950 she sent me a very, very long message she had 00:26:44.950 --> 00:26:47.009 written beforehand. In the message, my daughter 00:26:47.009 --> 00:26:49.609 admitted that her mom and her maternal aunt said 00:26:49.609 --> 00:26:52.089 those kinds of things about Lisa. So the mom 00:26:52.089 --> 00:26:56.710 and her sister are are hating on dad's new girlfriend. 00:26:56.880 --> 00:27:00.700 Which like get a life dude you cheated on this 00:27:00.700 --> 00:27:03.259 guy let him move on and yeah It's your family 00:27:03.259 --> 00:27:05.299 get together on Sunday night. Like that's the 00:27:05.299 --> 00:27:08.339 least of your worries. Yeah move on Unless she 00:27:08.339 --> 00:27:11.740 really is like not a great influence for the 00:27:11.740 --> 00:27:14.019 kids. It doesn't matter at that point No, well, 00:27:14.019 --> 00:27:16.059 let's talk about influence. She cheated on dad 00:27:16.059 --> 00:27:19.579 multiple times and that's just a secret Yeah, 00:27:19.880 --> 00:27:21.880 she said she's embarrassed as she repeated those 00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:24.259 awful things. She said that she thought that 00:27:24.259 --> 00:27:27.000 I was the one who cheated on her mom She said 00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:30.079 she thought I had cheated on her mom with Lisa. 00:27:31.240 --> 00:27:33.460 She said she's not mad at me. She said that she's 00:27:33.460 --> 00:27:36.319 mad at her mom. She said Lisa seems like a wonderful 00:27:36.319 --> 00:27:39.279 woman and that she wants to talk about this face 00:27:39.279 --> 00:27:41.440 to face but not anytime soon. She said she'll 00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:43.579 tell me when she's up to talking about it face 00:27:43.579 --> 00:27:45.779 to face when she thinks she can do it without 00:27:45.779 --> 00:27:48.359 crying. So the daughter's banged up here. The 00:27:48.359 --> 00:27:51.200 daughter is like, she's feeling bad because she 00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:53.180 regurgitated the crap that mom said and then 00:27:53.180 --> 00:27:55.369 she comes to find out that. The reason her parents 00:27:55.369 --> 00:27:58.950 got divorced was because of mom And so and I 00:27:58.950 --> 00:28:02.890 mean she's dad was cheating Yep with his new 00:28:02.890 --> 00:28:05.769 girlfriend lisa the only fans girl. That's not 00:28:05.769 --> 00:28:09.269 an only fans girl and she's just fun She just 00:28:09.269 --> 00:28:12.970 she just is 54 and single and smoking hot dating 00:28:12.970 --> 00:28:17.650 but yeah, I was like, wow, that's uh, that's 00:28:17.650 --> 00:28:21.549 Unfortunate for this young girl. She's 19 So 00:28:21.549 --> 00:28:24.920 it's like she's old enough to You know to know 00:28:24.920 --> 00:28:27.779 the truth. Yeah, but young enough to maybe not 00:28:27.779 --> 00:28:30.799 be able to process it very well on her own That 00:28:30.799 --> 00:28:35.480 would rock her world. That's so sad and Yeah, 00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:38.619 the big major a holes in the story in my opinion 00:28:38.619 --> 00:28:41.579 are the mom and the aunt the mom just because 00:28:41.579 --> 00:28:45.119 of the whole story Like I I don't know. What 00:28:45.119 --> 00:28:47.400 do you guys think? I want it. I want your feedback 00:28:47.400 --> 00:28:50.460 on if you've either been through a divorce where 00:28:50.460 --> 00:28:55.170 there was Yeah infidelity or just what your perspective 00:28:55.170 --> 00:28:58.150 is on it. Like, if I tried to put myself in that 00:28:58.150 --> 00:29:01.750 situation, if our kids were that old, at some 00:29:01.750 --> 00:29:03.849 point, I feel like we would probably have a conversation 00:29:03.849 --> 00:29:06.769 with them together about why our relationship's 00:29:06.769 --> 00:29:09.130 not gonna work. They're old enough to be like, 00:29:09.190 --> 00:29:12.369 hey, look, and people make mistakes. Like, whether 00:29:12.369 --> 00:29:14.589 it was me or you, like, let's just say hypothetically, 00:29:14.710 --> 00:29:18.210 I'm in OP shoes. If you had cheated, be like, 00:29:18.230 --> 00:29:20.190 look, this doesn't make your mom a bad person. 00:29:20.210 --> 00:29:22.799 It just shows that we have differences. And there's 00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:24.640 like this is something our lives are all going 00:29:24.640 --> 00:29:26.839 to change. But you guys are old enough now to 00:29:26.839 --> 00:29:29.039 be included in this. We want to support you with 00:29:29.039 --> 00:29:31.700 your feelings, whatever the case may be. But 00:29:31.700 --> 00:29:34.079 not not shielding them, not letting them just 00:29:34.079 --> 00:29:36.839 come up with their own ideas. Right. That's like 00:29:36.839 --> 00:29:40.559 a big no, no, for sure. And yes, the mom just 00:29:40.559 --> 00:29:43.720 has no problem. She's like, you know, maybe her 00:29:43.720 --> 00:29:45.500 flavor of the week has changed. Maybe she's not 00:29:45.500 --> 00:29:47.819 dating anybody anymore. So she's just she's just 00:29:47.819 --> 00:29:50.019 mad that she doesn't have her old husband. Oh, 00:29:50.039 --> 00:29:52.420 yeah. She's so salty. She still loves him for 00:29:52.420 --> 00:29:57.380 sure. That's she messed up. Oh, my gosh. That's 00:29:57.380 --> 00:29:59.680 a crazy story. I feel really bad for the daughter. 00:29:59.920 --> 00:30:02.240 Poor daughter. Am I being a hole for flipping 00:30:02.240 --> 00:30:04.640 out after I found out my boyfriend was giving 00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:08.839 our leftovers to his ex. So my boyfriend and 00:30:08.839 --> 00:30:10.640 I have been living together for like eight months 00:30:10.640 --> 00:30:13.519 now. He's honestly been amazing in a lot of ways. 00:30:13.740 --> 00:30:16.859 Super thoughtful, super chill, very like emotionally 00:30:16.859 --> 00:30:19.660 mature. Like, he's the kind of guy who insists 00:30:19.660 --> 00:30:21.740 on doing the dishes every night after we cook, 00:30:21.779 --> 00:30:24.079 and I remember thinking, wow, that's such a green 00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:26.980 flag. Love a man who handles his business, you 00:30:26.980 --> 00:30:30.220 know? Anyway, a few nights ago, I come home early 00:30:30.220 --> 00:30:33.140 from work. Surprise! I was gonna bring a matcha 00:30:33.140 --> 00:30:35.779 and just like, bye. And I walk in right as he's 00:30:35.779 --> 00:30:38.460 packing up our leftover pasta into a Tupperware. 00:30:38.960 --> 00:30:40.799 Which is whatever, we always save leftovers. 00:30:40.940 --> 00:30:43.019 But then I see him like, stuffing it into his 00:30:43.019 --> 00:30:46.599 backpack. So I'm like, um, where is that going? 00:30:46.940 --> 00:30:49.279 and he freezes, looks at me like I just caught 00:30:49.279 --> 00:30:51.980 him smuggling diamonds. After some awkward mumbling, 00:30:52.140 --> 00:30:53.720 he goes, I didn't want to tell you because I 00:30:53.720 --> 00:30:55.859 knew you'd overreact, but I've been bringing 00:30:55.859 --> 00:31:02.500 our leftovers to Natalie. Natalie? His ex? I'm 00:31:02.500 --> 00:31:05.640 sorry, what? He says she's been going through 00:31:05.640 --> 00:31:08.180 it lately. Apparently money's tight and she misses 00:31:08.180 --> 00:31:10.920 his cooking and he just wants to make sure she 00:31:10.920 --> 00:31:13.740 eats. like he's acting like he's the food security 00:31:13.740 --> 00:31:16.400 department of LA or something I literally stared 00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:19.220 at him and was like you're feeding your ex out 00:31:19.220 --> 00:31:22.119 of our fridge with food I literally helped cook 00:31:22.119 --> 00:31:24.880 and he goes babe you're blowing this way out 00:31:24.880 --> 00:31:26.920 of proportion it's not like I'm sleeping with 00:31:26.920 --> 00:31:30.140 her I'm just making sure she's okay so I kind 00:31:30.140 --> 00:31:32.359 of lose it like not screaming or anything but 00:31:32.359 --> 00:31:34.920 I told him it was wildly disrespectful secretive 00:31:34.920 --> 00:31:37.119 and honestly super weird he got all defensive 00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:39.900 and said I'm being selfish and uncompassionate 00:31:39.900 --> 00:31:42.230 and not Just because someone's an ex doesn't 00:31:42.230 --> 00:31:44.470 mean they don't deserve help. Now he's mad at 00:31:44.470 --> 00:31:46.789 me for making it about me and says it's just 00:31:46.789 --> 00:31:49.150 food and I should be proud he's not like other 00:31:49.150 --> 00:31:53.430 guys who ghost their exes. Am I the a -hole for 00:31:53.430 --> 00:31:57.630 feeling totally violated by this or like am I 00:31:57.630 --> 00:32:03.730 being dramatic? What in the hell? What in the? 00:32:05.549 --> 00:32:08.589 I don't even know how to react to that. Like 00:32:08.589 --> 00:32:12.769 who is this guy? I have so many questions. I 00:32:12.769 --> 00:32:16.809 have so many concerns. He is still so in love 00:32:16.809 --> 00:32:20.170 with her. Like he's either, yes, either still 00:32:20.170 --> 00:32:22.029 has feelings for, I don't know. Is it because 00:32:22.029 --> 00:32:23.869 if he's not cheating on her, is he literally 00:32:23.869 --> 00:32:27.029 just like showing up to her doorstep and placing 00:32:27.029 --> 00:32:28.809 Tupperware on the doorstep and then dipping? 00:32:29.089 --> 00:32:33.990 Honey, he is 1000 % in love with her. And if 00:32:33.990 --> 00:32:37.750 he's not sleeping with her now, he will very, 00:32:37.750 --> 00:32:41.890 very soon. It is such a wild concept for him 00:32:41.890 --> 00:32:44.450 to say like she just kind of misses my cooking 00:32:44.450 --> 00:32:50.609 Why are you talking to her so is he she missing 00:32:50.609 --> 00:32:53.470 your cooking or is she going through our time 00:32:53.470 --> 00:32:55.910 and she has no money that she can't feed herself 00:32:55.910 --> 00:32:59.230 well and like if it's if it is just falling on 00:32:59.230 --> 00:33:01.990 hard times like there's there's a world where 00:33:02.269 --> 00:33:04.930 People in adult relationships, maybe there's 00:33:04.930 --> 00:33:07.910 like not boundaries being crossed if he's just 00:33:07.910 --> 00:33:10.529 looking out for her if they're still Contact 00:33:10.529 --> 00:33:13.049 and like she's going through a hard time. It's 00:33:13.049 --> 00:33:16.029 whatever Sneaking it into a backpack sneak in 00:33:16.029 --> 00:33:18.410 the leftovers. Like I'm sorry sneaking is never 00:33:18.410 --> 00:33:22.309 the answer never So she's being like, oh like 00:33:22.309 --> 00:33:26.470 I'm gonna she freaking loves my spaghetti Like 00:33:26.470 --> 00:33:29.029 she's gonna be so stoked on this since she can't 00:33:29.029 --> 00:33:33.400 buy her own meals That's it's freaking weird. 00:33:33.400 --> 00:33:37.220 It's bizarre. I think this is 1000 % a red flag 00:33:37.220 --> 00:33:39.319 And yeah, maybe he is just a really really good 00:33:39.319 --> 00:33:41.900 guy just looking out for people, but I don't 00:33:41.900 --> 00:33:44.960 see him delivering meals for the homeless Well, 00:33:44.960 --> 00:33:47.140 you know, maybe he does that on the weekends. 00:33:47.140 --> 00:33:51.039 No, he doesn't Maybe not busy with Natalie. I 00:33:51.039 --> 00:33:54.299 mean that's that's frowned upon in general Don't 00:33:54.299 --> 00:33:56.200 sneak around if you're gonna do something nice 00:33:56.200 --> 00:33:58.500 for somebody maybe include your significant other 00:33:58.589 --> 00:34:00.509 And if they're not comfortable with it, then 00:34:00.509 --> 00:34:03.009 they're not comfortable with it. Right. Boundaries 00:34:03.009 --> 00:34:05.970 are boundaries. You kind of have to respect them, 00:34:05.970 --> 00:34:08.949 even if you don't like them. No, you have to. 00:34:09.690 --> 00:34:12.949 That's a crazy one. That gets me riled up. Something 00:34:12.949 --> 00:34:15.269 to be said about the fact that he has his stuff 00:34:15.269 --> 00:34:18.050 together enough to be cooking every night. True. 00:34:18.889 --> 00:34:22.389 And cleaning up afterwards, too. That's rare. 00:34:23.730 --> 00:34:26.909 Would you trade that for dropping off food at 00:34:26.909 --> 00:34:30.119 the... The ex -girlfriend's house hell no, so 00:34:30.119 --> 00:34:31.900 you'd rather cook every night clean it all up 00:34:31.900 --> 00:34:35.820 every night Yeah, I would dump him so fast like 00:34:35.820 --> 00:34:40.460 stop feeding your ex Hey, well, that's my story 00:34:40.460 --> 00:34:45.659 Wow Yeah, he's the a -hole for sure yeah, he 00:34:45.659 --> 00:34:47.780 is I don't think she's the a -hole I think that 00:34:47.780 --> 00:34:50.460 she has every reason to be like why is he talking 00:34:50.460 --> 00:34:53.059 to her? and she needs to go on his phone and 00:34:53.059 --> 00:34:54.800 look at literally every little thing because 00:34:54.800 --> 00:34:57.400 there's no way they don't still have something 00:34:57.400 --> 00:35:00.039 going on you guys let us know which one you think 00:35:00.039 --> 00:35:04.519 is fake comment on youtube comment on our socials 00:35:04.519 --> 00:35:08.159 instagram tiktok instagram tiktok youtube facebook 00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:12.219 podcast that's it follow us wherever you get 00:35:12.219 --> 00:35:15.519 your podcasts it's weird the podcast community 00:35:15.710 --> 00:35:18.789 is so separate from the social community. Yeah. 00:35:18.909 --> 00:35:21.349 And the YouTube community is even separate. There's 00:35:21.349 --> 00:35:23.389 a little more overlap with YouTube and socials, 00:35:23.389 --> 00:35:26.530 but we love all you. Thanks for being here. Let 00:35:26.530 --> 00:35:28.550 us know which one you think is the fake. For 00:35:28.550 --> 00:35:31.170 the shout out to Katya's, the candy is delicious. 00:35:31.190 --> 00:35:33.869 If you want to get your own, the link to their 00:35:33.869 --> 00:35:35.789 website is going to be in the show notes of the 00:35:35.789 --> 00:35:37.489 podcast. And we're also going to include it on 00:35:37.489 --> 00:35:40.090 the YouTube. So if you're just you're listening, 00:35:40.329 --> 00:35:41.969 you'll know where to go. If you're seeing this 00:35:41.969 --> 00:35:44.199 on socials. Don't forget, you're going to want 00:35:44.199 --> 00:35:46.940 these Katia's gummies. I can promise you that. 00:35:47.199 --> 00:35:49.860 So go to our Instagram at Internet Frenzy and 00:35:49.860 --> 00:35:52.860 enter the giveaway. It's so easy. And I promise 00:35:52.860 --> 00:35:55.079 you, you will not regret it. Internet Frenzy 00:35:55.079 --> 00:35:58.739 is on three. One, two, three. Internet Frenzy. 00:36:11.500 --> 00:36:13.219 Click no pretending