WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.319 Welcome back to internet frenzy. Let's go, baby. 00:00:03.459 --> 00:00:06.099 I'm so excited for this week's episode for another 00:00:06.099 --> 00:00:09.460 one Can we one up last week's episode? Oh? No 00:00:09.460 --> 00:00:11.580 on Dallas. They really just brought their a game. 00:00:11.820 --> 00:00:14.019 I don't know. It's true stories were incredible 00:00:14.019 --> 00:00:16.679 and I had a hard time figuring out which one 00:00:16.679 --> 00:00:20.600 was the fake oh really even though oh really 00:00:21.469 --> 00:00:23.629 You had a hard time figuring out which one was 00:00:23.629 --> 00:00:25.850 fake. That's interesting. Well, first let's talk 00:00:25.850 --> 00:00:28.109 about the stories. First one was the little boy 00:00:28.109 --> 00:00:31.809 fixing a tractor. Yes. So that was weird. Yes. 00:00:32.570 --> 00:00:36.429 Very smart. Too weird to be true? No. I don't 00:00:36.429 --> 00:00:39.109 think so. I think that's real and I know it's 00:00:39.109 --> 00:00:42.729 real. My other story was about the couple seeing 00:00:42.729 --> 00:00:44.950 the older version of the daughter. Remember that 00:00:44.950 --> 00:00:48.590 one? That was crazy. That one could have been 00:00:48.590 --> 00:00:51.420 fake. Would've been cool if it was fake, but 00:00:51.420 --> 00:00:53.840 it wasn't. It was not. So we can roll that one 00:00:53.840 --> 00:00:57.500 out, guys. Next one. Is a student showing up 00:00:57.500 --> 00:01:00.219 to class, but there was no class, but there was. 00:01:00.659 --> 00:01:02.640 And she was seeing the chalk on the chalkboard, 00:01:03.079 --> 00:01:07.640 the letters dripping. She was tripping. She was 00:01:07.640 --> 00:01:11.980 tripping. That one, I thought was fake. That 00:01:11.980 --> 00:01:14.000 I thought could've been fake, but both of yours 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:16.560 seemed fake to me, so whatever. That one was 00:01:16.560 --> 00:01:19.719 real. That one was real. Yes. But that makes 00:01:19.719 --> 00:01:22.599 sense because the very next one was the deja 00:01:22.599 --> 00:01:25.959 vu story in the coffee shop, but the person OP 00:01:25.959 --> 00:01:28.659 wasn't seeing, like, wasn't like, oh, I've seen 00:01:28.659 --> 00:01:31.299 this before. She was like predicting what was 00:01:31.299 --> 00:01:32.180 going to happen next. What he was going to do. 00:01:32.540 --> 00:01:35.560 Yeah, that was crazy. That one. Oh, yeah. That 00:01:35.560 --> 00:01:37.780 one was pretty far out there. A little glitch 00:01:37.780 --> 00:01:39.739 in the Matrix. I've never had that much of a 00:01:39.739 --> 00:01:42.840 glitch. Yeah, that was pretty crazy. So if you 00:01:42.840 --> 00:01:46.530 guessed it right. Shout out you. Yes, that one 00:01:46.530 --> 00:01:50.790 was the fake 100 % But that would be really cool 00:01:50.790 --> 00:01:53.950 like controlling someone actually that'd be horrible 00:01:53.950 --> 00:01:57.109 I would never want that but it would be like 00:01:57.109 --> 00:02:00.489 daughter pick up your toys. Boom Yeah parenting 00:02:00.489 --> 00:02:04.609 would be a lot less hard But she also wasn't 00:02:04.609 --> 00:02:07.069 controlling him she was just knowing what he 00:02:07.069 --> 00:02:09.250 was gonna do like he was just gonna do the thing 00:02:09.250 --> 00:02:11.449 and she'd already she already knew that's true 00:02:11.759 --> 00:02:13.699 That would be a trip. I don't know if I would 00:02:13.699 --> 00:02:17.039 want to be able to do that Like see the future 00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:18.860 like look at something big. Oh, they're gonna 00:02:18.860 --> 00:02:21.719 walk out and get ran over. Oh my gosh make it 00:02:21.719 --> 00:02:23.180 the worst Yeah, what if it's like, oh, they're 00:02:23.180 --> 00:02:26.020 just gonna forget to lock the door today and 00:02:26.020 --> 00:02:29.379 a guy goes in and they're waiting for Her to 00:02:29.379 --> 00:02:31.379 come home and then they're gonna kill her. We 00:02:31.379 --> 00:02:35.360 watch too many documentaries We watch every death 00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:37.939 show that there's ever been made. Oh, yes, we 00:02:37.939 --> 00:02:40.889 have well Welcome back everyone. I'm Whitney. 00:02:41.150 --> 00:02:44.289 I'm Joe and this is internet frenzy and we are 00:02:44.289 --> 00:02:46.849 so stoked for this week We've got some good good 00:02:46.849 --> 00:02:49.189 stories and you guys need to buckle up right 00:02:49.189 --> 00:02:53.789 now and make sure it's tight Fasten your seatbelt 00:02:53.789 --> 00:03:03.129 snug it down to your hip bones Okay, so the the 00:03:03.129 --> 00:03:05.330 theme for this week is kind of it's a little 00:03:05.330 --> 00:03:08.879 bit daddish Forgive me. I'm a dad. We love the 00:03:08.879 --> 00:03:14.840 dads therapy is Scarapy. Oh So the the tales 00:03:14.840 --> 00:03:18.039 of of when therapy goes sideways when therapy 00:03:18.039 --> 00:03:21.240 doesn't go the way that you want it to no And 00:03:21.240 --> 00:03:23.599 I would like to preface this episode by saying 00:03:23.599 --> 00:03:25.979 if you haven't picked up on it already We are 00:03:25.979 --> 00:03:28.759 huge advocates of therapy. Yes major believers 00:03:28.759 --> 00:03:32.090 no matter what type of therapy you go to In this 00:03:32.090 --> 00:03:34.270 day and age, it's really important to have access 00:03:34.270 --> 00:03:36.449 to somebody that can help you organize your thoughts, 00:03:36.669 --> 00:03:38.810 help you sort through what's going on inside. 00:03:40.030 --> 00:03:42.789 Or in a marriage, have a third party present 00:03:42.789 --> 00:03:45.629 to kind of help you out a little bit. Oh, I wonder 00:03:45.629 --> 00:03:48.389 if that's going to come up in the stories tonight. 00:03:48.669 --> 00:03:51.050 I just wonder. I think they are. I think they 00:03:51.050 --> 00:03:52.889 are. And I can't wait to see which one's the 00:03:52.889 --> 00:03:59.379 fake. Yeah, me too. You guys know the drill. 00:03:59.639 --> 00:04:02.139 We're going to dive into the stories. If you 00:04:02.139 --> 00:04:04.080 follow us on social, if you haven't already, 00:04:04.120 --> 00:04:06.919 please follow us on social media. And after you 00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:09.199 listen to this episode, hop onto Instagram, hop 00:04:09.199 --> 00:04:13.300 onto YouTube and drop a comment which story you 00:04:13.300 --> 00:04:15.479 think is fake. Yes. We've been seeing this more 00:04:15.479 --> 00:04:17.720 and more like YouTube. It happens every now and 00:04:17.720 --> 00:04:19.439 then. Like Instagram, they're starting to come 00:04:19.439 --> 00:04:23.019 around. So come through if you've got your detective 00:04:23.019 --> 00:04:26.720 shorts on. Oh. Whatever the hell that means. 00:04:29.780 --> 00:04:32.500 If you can figure out which one of these stories 00:04:32.500 --> 00:04:37.180 is fake, we want to know. We want to know, guys. 00:04:37.540 --> 00:04:40.480 I also just want to plug that if you guys have 00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:43.699 stories that fit the category, you listeners, 00:04:43.720 --> 00:04:45.860 if you have stories that you feel like fit this 00:04:45.860 --> 00:04:48.600 category, posts you stumbled across, your own 00:04:48.600 --> 00:04:52.360 stories, share them with us. Yeah. Internet Frenzy, 00:04:52.740 --> 00:04:54.939 just like it's spelled on the podcast on YouTube, 00:04:55.459 --> 00:04:58.889 at gmail .com. Internet Frenzy at Gmail. Hit 00:04:58.889 --> 00:05:02.250 us up. We will if you do we will read your stories 00:05:02.250 --> 00:05:05.089 if they good we will yeah I mean if they're sus 00:05:05.089 --> 00:05:10.129 then we'll just ignore you I'm just kidding It's 00:05:10.129 --> 00:05:13.689 fine. We're big. It's fine Like we can do whatever 00:05:13.689 --> 00:05:16.209 we want true Shout out to the people that are 00:05:16.209 --> 00:05:18.189 listening in Switzerland and Poland and like 00:05:18.189 --> 00:05:20.720 South Africa. You guys are dope And everyone 00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:22.800 else, we love you guys so much. Oh yeah, and 00:05:22.800 --> 00:05:25.379 truly everyone else. But honestly, I think it's 00:05:25.379 --> 00:05:27.779 time. Enough chit chat and let's get down to 00:05:27.779 --> 00:05:30.399 business. Let's get down to when therapy goes 00:05:30.399 --> 00:05:34.839 sideways. Therapy, ascarapy. You just decide. 00:05:53.410 --> 00:05:56.750 So let's start with one. This is not going to 00:05:56.750 --> 00:05:59.250 be like all therapists. This is a this is a bad 00:05:59.250 --> 00:06:02.750 therapist. This is one that this post comes from. 00:06:02.750 --> 00:06:05.569 Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for firing 00:06:05.569 --> 00:06:08.730 our family therapist after she asked for tips? 00:06:09.189 --> 00:06:11.870 It's not that crazy. It's kind of like a survey. 00:06:13.670 --> 00:06:16.279 Excuse me. First of all. We could do a whole 00:06:16.279 --> 00:06:18.379 freaking episode on tip culture. Don't get me 00:06:18.379 --> 00:06:21.040 started. I appreciate the service industry. I 00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:24.620 tip well. I tip well. I didn't know it was money 00:06:24.620 --> 00:06:26.680 tips. I thought it was like advice. Like, hey, 00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:30.240 what can I do better for next time? Oh. Yeah. 00:06:31.220 --> 00:06:35.519 Okay. Pointers. This is money. She wants a little 00:06:35.519 --> 00:06:40.379 bit of extra ched. Just wait. So yeah, again, 00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:43.740 tip culture, though. Don't get me started. Yeah. 00:06:44.009 --> 00:06:47.009 I tip very well. Yeah, it's so annoying. Everywhere 00:06:47.009 --> 00:06:48.769 we go. Yeah, you do. You get mad at me a lot 00:06:48.769 --> 00:06:51.050 of times. Yes. But like I'm starting to do the 00:06:51.050 --> 00:06:53.129 ones where it's like, wait, you're just behind 00:06:53.129 --> 00:06:56.350 the counter and you just like made the drink 00:06:56.350 --> 00:06:59.389 that I ordered. Like what are you getting paid 00:06:59.389 --> 00:07:01.170 hourly for? I'm so confused. Yeah, right. You 00:07:01.170 --> 00:07:03.850 tip those. You literally want to tip the ones 00:07:03.850 --> 00:07:06.990 where it's, you sit, you stand there, no one's 00:07:06.990 --> 00:07:08.970 working the counter and you have to order it 00:07:08.970 --> 00:07:12.560 yourself and then you want to tip them. Yeah, 00:07:13.199 --> 00:07:16.420 so sue me. I'm a good guy. That's crazy. So I 00:07:16.420 --> 00:07:21.839 do it begrudgingly. I've worked in a tip industry. 00:07:22.500 --> 00:07:28.240 So I do appreciate that, but it bothers me. It's 00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:29.959 like, am I going to start checking out at Walmart? 00:07:30.019 --> 00:07:32.079 And they're going to be like, leave a tip for 00:07:32.079 --> 00:07:34.740 the workers. Probably. The six of them that are 00:07:34.740 --> 00:07:36.800 here right now that are like stocking shelves. 00:07:37.060 --> 00:07:39.060 I don't know. My ex and I have a 12 year old 00:07:39.060 --> 00:07:41.670 boy who's going through some things. We found 00:07:41.670 --> 00:07:43.569 a therapist and we've been seeing her for a couple 00:07:43.569 --> 00:07:45.990 years. It hasn't been life changing for me in 00:07:45.990 --> 00:07:48.449 any way. In fact, it became more of a pointless 00:07:48.449 --> 00:07:50.550 chore like making your bed or folding your underwear. 00:07:50.769 --> 00:07:52.509 I might have gotten a few things out of it, but 00:07:52.509 --> 00:07:54.629 would not do it again. A few weeks ago, I told 00:07:54.629 --> 00:07:56.829 our therapist that it's bizarre to not have to 00:07:56.829 --> 00:07:58.790 worry about money for the first time in my life. 00:07:58.930 --> 00:08:00.910 I make good money and I don't have many bills. 00:08:01.069 --> 00:08:03.189 I'm saving like a thousand dollars a month. Last 00:08:03.189 --> 00:08:05.319 week, The therapist asked me if I could start 00:08:05.319 --> 00:08:07.740 making a co -payment. I don't have a co -payment 00:08:07.740 --> 00:08:10.800 because my insurance covers 100 % of our therapy 00:08:10.800 --> 00:08:13.139 sessions. I explained that to her. She said that 00:08:13.139 --> 00:08:15.399 was not. She said that was true, but maybe I 00:08:15.399 --> 00:08:17.980 could start paying like $20 cash because she's 00:08:17.980 --> 00:08:20.439 not making a lot with what my insurance pays 00:08:20.439 --> 00:08:23.240 her. I was at a loss for words. I said, and I 00:08:23.240 --> 00:08:25.279 suppose this has no relation to my telling you 00:08:25.279 --> 00:08:27.579 that I had disposable income from a few weeks 00:08:27.579 --> 00:08:29.379 ago. She said, of course not. It was like she 00:08:29.379 --> 00:08:32.080 was asking for a raise lol. I said I'd think 00:08:32.080 --> 00:08:34.240 about it. I found nothing about tipping your 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:36.840 therapist. I talked to my ex and said I was firing 00:08:36.840 --> 00:08:38.980 the therapist. She told me not to throw away 00:08:38.980 --> 00:08:41.580 two years of work and I said this therapist tried 00:08:41.580 --> 00:08:43.960 taking advantage of me. She offered to pay and 00:08:43.960 --> 00:08:46.000 I said I'm not stopping you but I'm not doing 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:47.820 the sessions anymore and neither is our son. 00:08:47.919 --> 00:08:50.379 The trust I had in our therapist is forever broken. 00:08:50.580 --> 00:08:52.740 I left a voicemail and text message explaining 00:08:52.740 --> 00:08:55.200 we weren't in need of services anymore. I hadn't 00:08:55.200 --> 00:08:57.379 heard back. Guess what? Our lives didn't fall 00:08:57.379 --> 00:08:59.419 apart and the therapist replied that I totally 00:08:59.419 --> 00:09:01.799 misunderstood this whole tip thing. We know how 00:09:01.799 --> 00:09:04.559 much therapy costs. Yes. This therapist has made 00:09:04.559 --> 00:09:07.720 $20 ,000 on this family in a couple years and 00:09:07.720 --> 00:09:12.500 she's like, can you just put it in the tip jar? 00:09:12.820 --> 00:09:14.899 Like, just give me your change. That's crazy. 00:09:15.080 --> 00:09:16.559 After the mom's like, hey, it's kind of cool 00:09:16.559 --> 00:09:18.440 that I have some more disposable income now. 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:20.360 Like, it's kind of nice that I have a little 00:09:20.360 --> 00:09:22.120 bit more money in my life. That's so sad. And 00:09:22.120 --> 00:09:25.019 this therapist is like, well, I don't, so can 00:09:25.019 --> 00:09:28.639 you give me some? Oh. Look, therapists have a 00:09:28.639 --> 00:09:32.240 hard job. This episode, this whole theme is in 00:09:32.240 --> 00:09:36.179 no way trying to berate therapists because their 00:09:36.179 --> 00:09:39.480 job and their life is freaking hard. But don't 00:09:39.480 --> 00:09:42.899 ask for a tip. If anything, just raise your pricing. 00:09:43.539 --> 00:09:46.120 That's the whole thing. It's like, tell the insurance 00:09:46.120 --> 00:09:48.120 company, hey, sorry, the prices just went up 00:09:48.120 --> 00:09:51.799 20 bucks. I don't know how it works. I don't 00:09:51.799 --> 00:09:53.580 think that's how it works. The insurance, I mean, 00:09:53.700 --> 00:09:56.659 insurance always wins. They will just, they decide. 00:09:57.139 --> 00:09:59.419 And I know this from like the dental world like 00:09:59.419 --> 00:10:01.980 they will decide what they will pay for a certain 00:10:01.980 --> 00:10:05.840 thing and it's like Take it or leave it So ultimately 00:10:05.840 --> 00:10:08.860 they probably win. So never mind. Don't cut that. 00:10:08.860 --> 00:10:11.159 I won't this is reality. We don't freaking know 00:10:11.159 --> 00:10:13.460 Yeah, would that be something that would throw 00:10:13.460 --> 00:10:15.820 you off and you would want to change therapists? 00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:19.379 Look, I love our therapist. Yeah, I know that's 00:10:19.379 --> 00:10:21.360 hard. So maybe let's think of like someone else 00:10:21.360 --> 00:10:24.159 Yeah, like it would it would definitely start 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:27.919 on me. I would definitely be like Huh? Yeah, 00:10:28.440 --> 00:10:31.899 like you need 20 more dollars every time Yeah, 00:10:31.980 --> 00:10:34.139 there's just no possible way that that would 00:10:34.139 --> 00:10:36.080 make sense the fact that she tried to make it 00:10:36.080 --> 00:10:39.659 like about a co -payment Yeah, like dude if you 00:10:39.659 --> 00:10:41.679 do this for every one of your patients, you're 00:10:41.679 --> 00:10:44.519 you're like you're raising your salary a significant 00:10:44.519 --> 00:10:46.279 amount of money, but you're not doing it to every 00:10:46.279 --> 00:10:49.629 patient you're making 20 extra dollars, 40 extra 00:10:49.629 --> 00:10:52.590 dollars in a week. Yeah, it feels icky. I feel 00:10:52.590 --> 00:10:55.309 like if anything, that lady needs to get more 00:10:55.309 --> 00:10:57.389 clients if she wants to make more money or if 00:10:57.389 --> 00:11:00.490 she's in a pinch or a pickle. And it's just, 00:11:00.570 --> 00:11:02.690 I don't know, the whole thing feels so dirty 00:11:02.690 --> 00:11:05.309 that people are coming to you and trusting you 00:11:05.309 --> 00:11:08.830 for their trauma and you're making it about the 00:11:08.830 --> 00:11:11.570 money. You're like, oh, you make more? Oh, okay, 00:11:12.350 --> 00:11:16.009 let's charge you 20 more. That is so not chill. 00:11:16.600 --> 00:11:19.179 Everyone's obviously saying that OP is not the 00:11:19.179 --> 00:11:22.000 asshole. Yeah. Somebody said, not the asshole. 00:11:22.120 --> 00:11:24.139 I'd contact your insurance company. They'll probably 00:11:24.139 --> 00:11:26.039 want to drop her entirely if they find out about 00:11:26.039 --> 00:11:29.139 this. Oh. And somebody replied to that. Yeah, 00:11:29.139 --> 00:11:31.240 also if the therapist is registered with any 00:11:31.240 --> 00:11:33.360 type of governing body, I would report them. 00:11:33.679 --> 00:11:35.779 Like I'm a nurse and registered with my provincial 00:11:35.779 --> 00:11:38.580 college of nurses. It's unethical for any health 00:11:38.580 --> 00:11:40.799 care provider to ask for any type of gratuity. 00:11:40.919 --> 00:11:43.860 And if I did so, I would slash should be reported 00:11:43.860 --> 00:11:47.799 and lose my license to practice. So it's not 00:11:47.799 --> 00:11:51.940 just my opinion. It's actually not cool. So therapists, 00:11:52.139 --> 00:11:57.200 we love you. Don't do that. Dang. So that therapy 00:11:57.200 --> 00:12:00.519 went scarapy for sure. Yeah, that's I mean like 00:12:00.519 --> 00:12:03.200 two years in like they had a really close relationship 00:12:03.200 --> 00:12:06.159 like she knew everything. Yeah, so that's really 00:12:06.159 --> 00:12:10.500 crappy. But I'll tell you one thing my story. 00:12:10.500 --> 00:12:15.759 You're not ready because it gets scarapy. Is 00:12:15.759 --> 00:12:20.659 that an adverb? Is that a... No idea. I don't 00:12:20.659 --> 00:12:22.659 know. I can't remember any of that stuff. Alright, 00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:25.659 are we ready? Scarapy. Let's get it. Today I 00:12:25.659 --> 00:12:28.340 effed up by accidentally violating HIPAA and 00:12:28.340 --> 00:12:31.399 potentially ruining my career. Throwaway because 00:12:31.399 --> 00:12:33.879 well, obviously, I'm a children's trauma therapist, 00:12:34.080 --> 00:12:35.980 been doing this for years, and I love my job. 00:12:36.159 --> 00:12:38.539 But I just effed up in a way that could cost 00:12:38.539 --> 00:12:41.120 me my license, my practice, everything. And the 00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:43.570 worst part? I have no idea if or when it's going 00:12:43.570 --> 00:12:46.049 to come back to bite me. So here's what happened. 00:12:46.250 --> 00:12:48.250 It was the end of the day, last session, and 00:12:48.250 --> 00:12:50.470 I was exhausted. I had just finished with the 00:12:50.470 --> 00:12:52.990 kid. Let's call her Sloan. Not her real name, 00:12:52.990 --> 00:12:55.190 obviously. She's been through some horrific stuff. 00:12:55.409 --> 00:12:59.230 Her dad? Absolute monster. Serious abuse, open 00:12:59.230 --> 00:13:01.690 court cases, restraining orders. Mom is doing 00:13:01.690 --> 00:13:04.009 everything she can to keep her safe and stable, 00:13:04.289 --> 00:13:06.629 and therapy is a huge part of that. After the 00:13:06.629 --> 00:13:08.649 session, I was typing up my notes like I always 00:13:08.649 --> 00:13:10.590 do, documenting what she said, what we worked, 00:13:10.629 --> 00:13:13.169 and how she reacted. My system was lagging, which, 00:13:13.169 --> 00:13:15.269 to be honest, happens more than it should. So 00:13:15.269 --> 00:13:17.409 I used the keyboard shortcut to cut my notes 00:13:17.409 --> 00:13:19.769 and tried refreshing the program. Didn't want 00:13:19.769 --> 00:13:22.409 to lose anything. Except when I went to paste 00:13:22.409 --> 00:13:24.509 them back in, I must have had the wrong window 00:13:24.509 --> 00:13:26.950 selected. Instead of pasting it into my notes 00:13:26.950 --> 00:13:29.850 ledger, I somehow pasted it into the draft of 00:13:29.850 --> 00:13:32.870 an email, one I hadn't even realized was still 00:13:32.870 --> 00:13:35.769 open, and here's where I completely effed myself. 00:13:36.090 --> 00:13:39.649 Muscle memory. Instead of just pasting, I instinctively 00:13:39.649 --> 00:13:43.029 hit command and enter, which in my system doesn't 00:13:43.029 --> 00:13:46.250 just paste, it sends. The second I saw the screen 00:13:46.250 --> 00:13:49.289 flicker and the little message confirmation pop 00:13:49.289 --> 00:13:51.429 up, my stomach dropped. I clicked over praying 00:13:51.429 --> 00:13:53.909 that maybe I had just saved a draft by accident. 00:13:54.269 --> 00:13:57.500 Nope, full send. And not to her mom. not to another 00:13:57.500 --> 00:14:01.580 provider. No. That would be fixable. I sent it 00:14:01.580 --> 00:14:05.039 to the completely wrong client. I totally unrelated 00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:07.679 parent of another kid I see. Someone has nothing 00:14:07.679 --> 00:14:10.600 to do with the case. I panicked. I immediately 00:14:10.600 --> 00:14:12.600 checked if there was a way to recall it. Nope, 00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:14.820 too late. Then I checked if the parent had opened 00:14:14.820 --> 00:14:17.879 it yet. No red receipt. But that means nothing. 00:14:18.259 --> 00:14:20.059 They could have read it and just not triggered 00:14:20.059 --> 00:14:22.559 the confirmation. I thought about sending a disregard 00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:25.340 last email message, but what if that just draws 00:14:25.340 --> 00:14:28.440 attention to it? And it's not just like, oops, 00:14:28.559 --> 00:14:32.440 I sent a name. The notes I had. everything. The 00:14:32.440 --> 00:14:34.759 trauma, the abuser, the legal situation. If the 00:14:34.759 --> 00:14:37.620 wrong person reads this and even vaguely recognize 00:14:37.620 --> 00:14:39.539 Sloan's mom, like if they went to school together, 00:14:39.639 --> 00:14:40.899 if they have mutual friends, if they're in the 00:14:40.899 --> 00:14:42.960 same Facebook groups, this could blow up in ways 00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:45.139 I don't even want to think about. And here's 00:14:45.139 --> 00:14:48.059 the kicker. The parent I sent it to, she's nosy. 00:14:48.179 --> 00:14:50.440 The type who loves to gossip, over shares on 00:14:50.440 --> 00:14:52.580 social media and inserts herself into things 00:14:52.580 --> 00:14:55.120 that aren't her business. If she reads this and 00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:57.460 even gets a hint of who it's about, she could 00:14:57.460 --> 00:14:59.840 start asking around, piecing things together 00:14:59.840 --> 00:15:02.710 or worse. If she realizes the severity of what 00:15:02.710 --> 00:15:05.230 she has, she could report me. I don't know what 00:15:05.230 --> 00:15:07.850 to do. If I self -report, I'm basically handing 00:15:07.850 --> 00:15:10.789 them my career on a silver platter. If I don't, 00:15:10.909 --> 00:15:13.129 I just have to sit here and wait, hoping this 00:15:13.129 --> 00:15:15.950 other parent never opens the email. Or if she 00:15:15.950 --> 00:15:18.990 does, that she doesn't do anything with it. Every 00:15:18.990 --> 00:15:21.330 time I get an email, my stomach drops. Every 00:15:21.330 --> 00:15:23.509 time my phone rings, I think it's my licensing 00:15:23.509 --> 00:15:26.190 board. I have no idea how this ends, but if I 00:15:26.190 --> 00:15:28.210 disappear from this account, you'll know why. 00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:33.299 Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. When you understood the 00:15:33.299 --> 00:15:36.139 assignment, my stomach was like feeling sick 00:15:36.139 --> 00:15:40.460 inside. I was like, oh, this therapist one though, 00:15:40.460 --> 00:15:43.360 it kind of bothered me that she posted it on 00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:45.679 Reddit because I know it's a throwaway account 00:15:45.679 --> 00:15:48.600 and things like that, but I was like, honey, 00:15:49.399 --> 00:15:52.440 you got to just stay off the computer. Don't 00:15:52.440 --> 00:15:55.259 talk about these things. I know. I just feel 00:15:55.259 --> 00:15:59.409 like as a therapist, you Probably shouldn't be 00:15:59.409 --> 00:16:01.750 writing anything that was like regarding your 00:16:01.750 --> 00:16:04.929 job on the internet Do you think I don't know 00:16:04.929 --> 00:16:07.789 why I thought this was a guy. Is it a girl? Oh, 00:16:07.789 --> 00:16:10.129 I just pictured a girl because most of our therapists 00:16:10.129 --> 00:16:12.990 have always been girls Did she did they did they 00:16:12.990 --> 00:16:16.250 them do they they didn't distinguish huh? No, 00:16:16.929 --> 00:16:22.230 it's like just as I oh So I actually don't know 00:16:22.230 --> 00:16:25.389 if it's a guy or girl therapists so you're mad 00:16:25.389 --> 00:16:30.269 that she They posted it on reddit. Well, I mean 00:16:30.269 --> 00:16:32.809 I'm glad because I it was perfect for our podcast 00:16:32.809 --> 00:16:35.990 episode But it's like I just felt like dude. 00:16:36.009 --> 00:16:40.509 What are you doing? I am shook if I could understand 00:16:40.509 --> 00:16:43.409 wanting to like blow off steam or whatever But 00:16:43.409 --> 00:16:46.110 yeah, you have to be so freaking unlucky HIPAA 00:16:46.110 --> 00:16:49.009 stuff is for real guys like you don't mess around 00:16:49.009 --> 00:16:50.970 with that Yeah, I had to do all sorts of compliance 00:16:50.970 --> 00:16:53.509 training with my current job and it is a it's 00:16:53.389 --> 00:16:56.429 Serious like they want patient information to 00:16:56.429 --> 00:16:59.070 be safe and the fact that it went to like, of 00:16:59.070 --> 00:17:02.850 course Murphy's law I went to the nosy like freaking 00:17:02.850 --> 00:17:05.890 PTSD mom. That's like always happens though It's 00:17:05.890 --> 00:17:07.829 like whenever you make an accident with something 00:17:07.829 --> 00:17:10.490 like that. It's like let's say you're talking 00:17:10.490 --> 00:17:14.930 crap about someone You are sending that to that 00:17:14.930 --> 00:17:18.470 person like I've had I've had multiple people 00:17:18.470 --> 00:17:23.210 that were talking crap about someone either super 00:17:23.210 --> 00:17:27.289 close to me or me, and it got sent to me. Or 00:17:27.289 --> 00:17:29.930 your family. On accident. Something terrible 00:17:29.930 --> 00:17:32.269 like this is going to happen. It's going to be 00:17:32.269 --> 00:17:35.450 the worst possible scenario. I cannot imagine. 00:17:36.089 --> 00:17:39.549 He, she, whatever, accidentally blasts this email. 00:17:40.049 --> 00:17:43.269 They said they can't unsend it? Nope. Once you 00:17:43.269 --> 00:17:45.210 send an email, you can't unsend it. You have 00:17:45.210 --> 00:17:47.950 to literally go to their email and delete it. 00:17:47.950 --> 00:17:50.440 I think. I'm kind of talking on my butt, but 00:17:50.440 --> 00:17:52.660 yeah, I was gonna say pretty sure there's an 00:17:52.660 --> 00:17:56.420 unsend feature at least like newer newer Email 00:17:56.420 --> 00:17:59.220 platforms. I'm pretty sure let us know folks 00:17:59.220 --> 00:18:01.339 listening. I thought I thought that was a thing. 00:18:01.339 --> 00:18:03.980 I thought you could unsend emails I mean, I've 00:18:03.980 --> 00:18:08.559 never tried Hmm. Hmm. How long ago was this posted? 00:18:08.779 --> 00:18:11.759 Is there an update? There is an update. Oh my 00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:14.089 gosh, so there's an edit A lot of you are asking 00:18:14.089 --> 00:18:16.750 about the unsend feature. Believe me, I checked. 00:18:17.049 --> 00:18:19.170 Unfortunately, I work in a network with outdated 00:18:19.170 --> 00:18:22.210 borderline prehistoric email hosting that does 00:18:22.210 --> 00:18:25.289 not have an unsend function. No recall, no delay 00:18:25.289 --> 00:18:27.230 setting. Once it's gone, it's gone. Trust me, 00:18:27.529 --> 00:18:29.450 if I could have yanked it back, I wouldn't be 00:18:29.450 --> 00:18:32.089 writing this right now. OK, so now we know, like 00:18:32.089 --> 00:18:34.769 he's saying, the therapist is saying there's 00:18:34.769 --> 00:18:36.910 no unsend feature. There's nothing I can do about 00:18:36.910 --> 00:18:39.490 it at this point. I felt like he needs to call 00:18:39.490 --> 00:18:43.140 that woman immediately and say, look, This is 00:18:43.140 --> 00:18:46.160 a really big deal. I sent an email. Please, you 00:18:46.160 --> 00:18:48.339 need to delete it immediately. Like, I'm begging 00:18:48.339 --> 00:18:51.220 you. I just feel like you need to just communicate 00:18:51.220 --> 00:18:53.539 with her and say, this is what happened. I am 00:18:53.539 --> 00:18:56.279 so, so sorry. And then you would also need to 00:18:56.279 --> 00:18:59.180 communicate with the mother and say, I accidentally 00:18:59.180 --> 00:19:02.420 sent this to this person. I need to be transparent 00:19:02.420 --> 00:19:05.400 with you. They deleted it immediately. It's gone. 00:19:06.599 --> 00:19:09.880 And like face the consequences from there. At 00:19:09.880 --> 00:19:12.680 least try to. Do you think that or do you think 00:19:12.680 --> 00:19:14.980 he should just I'm think I'm over here thinking 00:19:14.980 --> 00:19:18.700 like did you take a HIPAA compliance? Class because 00:19:18.700 --> 00:19:22.720 that sounds like like you maybe Could have like 00:19:22.720 --> 00:19:24.539 that sounds like what they probably would have 00:19:24.539 --> 00:19:27.619 recommended that didn't even didn't even consider 00:19:27.619 --> 00:19:29.720 the fact that he should have just like grabbed 00:19:29.720 --> 00:19:33.099 a bull by the horns and like Just handled the 00:19:33.099 --> 00:19:36.880 situation. Yeah. Well, that's my that's my my 00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:39.420 go -to is just go straight to the problem, but 00:19:41.349 --> 00:19:44.009 I think that's why my first reaction when I read 00:19:44.009 --> 00:19:46.029 this was literally like, what the frick? Why 00:19:46.029 --> 00:19:48.369 is he going to Reddit? Like it's like bothering 00:19:48.369 --> 00:19:50.390 me that this therapist is going to Reddit to 00:19:50.390 --> 00:19:53.009 talk about this. Yeah, just like going to the 00:19:53.009 --> 00:19:54.349 internet. It's the last thing you should be doing. 00:19:54.650 --> 00:19:57.970 Don't waste your time talking about it. Well, 00:19:58.269 --> 00:20:00.789 like I said, I completely understand wanting 00:20:00.789 --> 00:20:03.910 to like get it off your chest because I don't 00:20:03.910 --> 00:20:08.029 know. I'll speak for myself. Just knowing that 00:20:08.029 --> 00:20:10.920 there's like the HIPAA compliance. Issues like 00:20:10.920 --> 00:20:13.119 I know that it's strict. Yeah, I've done the 00:20:13.119 --> 00:20:14.960 compliance training. I'm not gonna remember every 00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:18.339 single thing Because I just that's not how any 00:20:18.339 --> 00:20:21.400 of us operate as a therapist though That's like 00:20:21.400 --> 00:20:23.220 a whole different realm because you're trusted 00:20:23.220 --> 00:20:26.539 with new information all the time Yes, and like 00:20:26.539 --> 00:20:29.299 and this one was a messy one like there is a 00:20:29.299 --> 00:20:32.079 lot there with your custody and like yeah the 00:20:32.079 --> 00:20:35.220 poor girl like having all this this Drama this 00:20:35.220 --> 00:20:37.819 trauma with her dad. She's talking about stuff 00:20:37.819 --> 00:20:40.519 that who even knows like stuff you Wouldn't wish 00:20:40.519 --> 00:20:45.220 upon anyone. Yes, and that type of whatever that 00:20:45.220 --> 00:20:48.619 whole thing Just got shared with some random 00:20:48.619 --> 00:20:50.779 mom. I could just imagine the therapist being 00:20:50.779 --> 00:20:56.160 like, oh My gosh, what do I do? Yeah, like not 00:20:56.160 --> 00:21:01.099 schooling and money and oh my gosh That's a big 00:21:01.099 --> 00:21:03.900 big effort. Do you draw attention to it? Do you 00:21:03.900 --> 00:21:06.599 like call it out and trust that she's gonna delete 00:21:06.599 --> 00:21:09.200 it? Because she's like kind of a flaky kind of 00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:12.000 a weird parent or do you just hope that she doesn't 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:14.319 see it? Hope that she's like a lot of people 00:21:14.319 --> 00:21:17.380 that have 8 ,000 unread emails and like it's 00:21:17.380 --> 00:21:19.279 another marketing email from the clinic. I don't 00:21:19.279 --> 00:21:22.220 know. No way. It's going straight to her inbox 00:21:22.220 --> 00:21:24.240 right at the top. She's clicking that thing. 00:21:24.259 --> 00:21:27.819 You know, she's like the PTO meeting leader person. 00:21:28.180 --> 00:21:30.460 Yeah, she probably checks her email a lot. Yeah, 00:21:30.519 --> 00:21:32.579 probably gets the like the notifications on her 00:21:32.579 --> 00:21:35.059 watch. Oh, that's big time. I don't have that 00:21:35.059 --> 00:21:38.240 but I make sure I read all my emails, so. Yeah, 00:21:38.299 --> 00:21:40.420 me too. And I've been starting to archive them. 00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:42.720 Good for you. Yeah, just keeping a clean inbox 00:21:42.720 --> 00:21:45.819 makes you feel good. That's like, sexy. What 00:21:45.819 --> 00:21:50.920 isn't? Like, literally. Therapists. That's sad. 00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:53.779 Some of them. Bad emails. You don't know what 00:21:53.779 --> 00:21:58.900 this guy or girl looks like? Oh, well, I think 00:21:58.900 --> 00:22:01.180 he needs, this therapist needs to do the right 00:22:01.180 --> 00:22:03.829 thing and call that woman immediately. Well, 00:22:03.829 --> 00:22:07.730 there's an update 25 days later. Oh, yeah, I 00:22:07.730 --> 00:22:11.569 know. I'm so glad I found this yesterday because 00:22:11.569 --> 00:22:14.349 I don't have to wait for an update. That's like 00:22:14.349 --> 00:22:16.930 the best thing ever. I love that. Understood 00:22:16.930 --> 00:22:19.069 the assignment. I thought I delete this account, 00:22:19.069 --> 00:22:21.130 but I have nobody else to talk to you about this 00:22:21.130 --> 00:22:24.430 f up. It's been 25 days since I sent that email. 00:22:24.529 --> 00:22:27.529 And today I got a notarized document confirming 00:22:27.529 --> 00:22:31.410 that Sloan's mom is suing me. So, yeah, the worst 00:22:31.410 --> 00:22:33.940 has happened. I don't know how she found out 00:22:33.940 --> 00:22:36.119 whether the other parent opened the email and 00:22:36.119 --> 00:22:38.319 connected the dots or if something else happened 00:22:38.319 --> 00:22:40.700 But at this point it doesn't matter. It's done 00:22:40.700 --> 00:22:43.359 I'll lose my license my practice everything I've 00:22:43.359 --> 00:22:45.319 worked for and I have no idea how my family and 00:22:45.319 --> 00:22:47.099 I are going to make it through this Thank you 00:22:47.099 --> 00:22:49.160 to everyone who commented and gave advice. This 00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:51.720 is the last time you'll hear from me. I know 00:22:51.720 --> 00:22:56.660 I told you You can't just like hide from that 00:22:56.660 --> 00:23:00.339 and expect it not to like come out. He's getting 00:23:00.339 --> 00:23:05.460 sued I just, wow. Command, enter. That was like 00:23:05.460 --> 00:23:09.180 the post, post to my ledger, post to my notebook 00:23:09.180 --> 00:23:12.880 thing. That would be so horrific. Ends his career, 00:23:12.940 --> 00:23:15.940 like that's such a massive implication for just 00:23:15.940 --> 00:23:21.019 a, just a human tech mistake by one, ugh. Yeah, 00:23:21.140 --> 00:23:23.680 the only thing where I really feel like the mistake 00:23:23.680 --> 00:23:28.220 was actually made was not calling. Okay, let's 00:23:28.220 --> 00:23:31.950 say you're that mom. You're the mom that therapist 00:23:31.950 --> 00:23:35.150 comes in. He says, hey, Whitney, I'm really sorry, 00:23:35.309 --> 00:23:37.710 but this thing happened. I accidentally sent 00:23:37.710 --> 00:23:41.470 all of this to somebody else that's nosy that 00:23:41.470 --> 00:23:43.410 knows your business. It's in your circle. How 00:23:43.410 --> 00:23:46.609 are you taking that? Really? Oh, I'd be so pissed. 00:23:46.970 --> 00:23:48.690 If you could imagine. If the therapist is coming 00:23:48.690 --> 00:23:51.650 and telling me that's one thing, if let's say 00:23:51.650 --> 00:23:54.829 my friend got the info and then told me like, 00:23:54.930 --> 00:23:58.529 look, like 20 days later, like, hey. She sent 00:23:58.529 --> 00:24:00.970 this email. I have everything. I'm just letting 00:24:00.970 --> 00:24:03.869 you know and like my therapist never told me 00:24:03.869 --> 00:24:07.329 then I'm really gonna be pissed Yeah, and I mean, 00:24:07.329 --> 00:24:09.289 I don't know I don't know how you like the right 00:24:09.289 --> 00:24:11.450 and wrong way to handle all of that All I know 00:24:11.450 --> 00:24:14.269 is that if I try to put myself in the shoes of 00:24:14.269 --> 00:24:18.230 the parent Like if I assume all my trauma or 00:24:18.230 --> 00:24:20.730 my kids trauma Yeah, it's like getting passed 00:24:20.730 --> 00:24:23.809 around PTA meetings by like the Relief Society 00:24:23.809 --> 00:24:27.839 president like that's so heavy It's horrible. 00:24:28.519 --> 00:24:31.880 That's scarapy. The title says, Wife and I got 00:24:31.880 --> 00:24:35.960 kicked out of a therapy session. I love it. Has 00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:39.440 that ever happened to you, Whitney? No, but I've 00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:42.880 wanted to walk out of a therapy session. Same. 00:24:44.359 --> 00:24:47.180 Things have been rough at home. I'm 30M, wife 00:24:47.180 --> 00:24:50.769 is 27F, fighting virtually every day. I take 00:24:50.769 --> 00:24:52.970 my lumps for escalating in certain situations, 00:24:52.970 --> 00:24:54.910 but I feel it's primarily my wife that breaks 00:24:54.910 --> 00:24:57.289 the peace and gets upset and acts over the top 00:24:57.289 --> 00:24:59.490 angry. Then I'm angry at her for how she acted 00:24:59.490 --> 00:25:01.549 in her anger, then she's angry at me for being 00:25:01.549 --> 00:25:04.150 upset by it all. It's a vicious cycle. Her dad 00:25:04.150 --> 00:25:06.490 offered to pay for us to go to therapy. Therapist 00:25:06.490 --> 00:25:08.230 was a 70 -year -old guy that's been doing it 00:25:08.230 --> 00:25:11.789 for 50 years. Seems very wise, is all about accountability, 00:25:11.990 --> 00:25:13.509 doesn't want to hear what the other person did 00:25:13.509 --> 00:25:15.690 to you. He only wants to know how you contributed 00:25:15.690 --> 00:25:18.029 to the situation. My wife has missed the last 00:25:18.029 --> 00:25:20.160 two sessions, which hurt me a lot. As things 00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:22.220 have been so bad, I've been desperately wanting 00:25:22.220 --> 00:25:24.490 the help to break the cycle. The first time she 00:25:24.490 --> 00:25:26.509 was angry and didn't want to come. The second 00:25:26.509 --> 00:25:28.569 time she said she forgot the appointment. I vented 00:25:28.569 --> 00:25:30.430 out a lot of our problems when I was alone in 00:25:30.430 --> 00:25:32.430 this last session and was grilled for my part 00:25:32.430 --> 00:25:34.890 of it. I talked about things I've done, she's 00:25:34.890 --> 00:25:36.630 done, and things that are affecting the children. 00:25:36.809 --> 00:25:39.069 He said, we'll plan to get her side of things 00:25:39.069 --> 00:25:40.970 when we come back together. We both showed up 00:25:40.970 --> 00:25:42.769 yesterday and he wanted her side of the issues 00:25:42.769 --> 00:25:44.849 I talked about. Every time she went to talk about 00:25:44.849 --> 00:25:46.970 something, she prefaced it by saying, I only 00:25:46.970 --> 00:25:49.869 did this because he did this first, etc. Even 00:25:49.869 --> 00:25:52.569 an issue I had with how mean she was to our daughter 00:25:52.569 --> 00:25:55.269 recently. Our daughter is six. But the story 00:25:55.269 --> 00:25:58.349 still started out with, well, she yelled at my 00:25:58.349 --> 00:26:01.029 sister so I did this. He became irritated and 00:26:01.029 --> 00:26:02.910 impatient with her. Told her that he wouldn't 00:26:02.910 --> 00:26:04.769 keep trying to beat the issues out of her and 00:26:04.769 --> 00:26:06.549 that she needs to stop blaming other people and 00:26:06.549 --> 00:26:08.630 just admit to what she did. She stammered and 00:26:08.630 --> 00:26:10.450 couldn't talk without trying to shift some guilt 00:26:10.450 --> 00:26:12.670 first. It went back and forth between them for 00:26:12.670 --> 00:26:14.670 a minute with me sitting silently to the side. 00:26:14.809 --> 00:26:17.150 She couldn't get any kind of admission out without 00:26:17.150 --> 00:26:19.569 having someone else to blame first. Eventually 00:26:19.569 --> 00:26:21.549 she started reading out some horrible text she 00:26:21.549 --> 00:26:23.789 had sent me out loud on her phone. It was painful 00:26:23.789 --> 00:26:26.069 to hear her read it off so robotically, but to 00:26:26.069 --> 00:26:27.890 me it seemed like a step in the right direction 00:26:27.890 --> 00:26:29.910 because the things she said were awful and she 00:26:29.910 --> 00:26:31.869 was technically admitting to it by reading it 00:26:31.869 --> 00:26:34.470 out loud. She got towards the end, but threw 00:26:34.470 --> 00:26:37.490 in one more, then he did this, so I did this. 00:26:37.589 --> 00:26:40.289 He said, both of you need to get out. The session 00:26:40.289 --> 00:26:42.990 is over. As soon as she finished reading, we 00:26:42.990 --> 00:26:45.259 both left silently. As I went to leave the building, 00:26:45.500 --> 00:26:47.400 I had the urge to go back. I knocked on his door 00:26:47.400 --> 00:26:49.200 and asked for a few more seconds of his time, 00:26:49.319 --> 00:26:51.460 which he obliged. I asked why he ended it at 00:26:51.460 --> 00:26:53.359 that point, because in my mind she seemed to 00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:55.720 be cooperating. He said that it's a combination 00:26:55.720 --> 00:26:58.519 of things. Firstly, her not showing up to appointments. 00:26:58.740 --> 00:27:01.160 He helps us outside of normal office hours as 00:27:01.160 --> 00:27:03.839 a favor to her dad, who he knows from a rehab 00:27:03.839 --> 00:27:06.059 program. Her not showing up is disrespectful 00:27:06.059 --> 00:27:08.460 at best. Secondly, it was the combination of 00:27:08.460 --> 00:27:11.099 the horrible things she said via text, the robotic 00:27:11.099 --> 00:27:14.099 way she said them, and her inability to take 00:27:14.099 --> 00:27:16.390 accountability. I said I understood and thanked 00:27:16.390 --> 00:27:18.170 him for his time. I don't know where to go from 00:27:18.170 --> 00:27:20.430 here. Things have been so awful. She's been fighting 00:27:20.430 --> 00:27:23.150 with me and other people nonstop over the smallest 00:27:23.150 --> 00:27:25.150 things. After that appointment, she has flipped 00:27:25.150 --> 00:27:28.049 a switch that's been engaged for weeks and now 00:27:28.049 --> 00:27:30.589 is acting as sweet as possible. I feel like it's 00:27:30.589 --> 00:27:32.769 a love bombing facade. I don't know what advice 00:27:32.769 --> 00:27:35.049 I'm really looking for. I'm just sad and afraid. 00:27:35.710 --> 00:27:38.210 I know what I have to do. Anyone have any advice 00:27:38.210 --> 00:27:42.619 towards something like this? Oh my gosh. I would 00:27:42.619 --> 00:27:46.359 poop my pants if our therapist said, get out. 00:27:46.680 --> 00:27:49.779 I'm done with you guys, go. If literally our 00:27:49.779 --> 00:27:53.059 therapist was like, you guys need to leave. I'd 00:27:53.059 --> 00:27:56.799 be like, oh, we put a number on her. She just 00:27:56.799 --> 00:27:58.900 aged like 10 years. Like, I'd feel horrible. 00:27:59.259 --> 00:28:01.039 Truly. Sounds like this wife just like walked 00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:03.640 out, like whatever. And I mean, yeah, because 00:28:03.640 --> 00:28:07.039 he didn't say like... If she felt bad or anything 00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:10.140 just her personality switched. Do you feel like 00:28:10.140 --> 00:28:13.079 she's a narcissist? I mean, yeah, I also feel 00:28:13.079 --> 00:28:15.119 like the therapist does have a responsibility 00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:19.160 to like Control things and to express that to 00:28:19.160 --> 00:28:22.480 this girl. It sounds like he's never expressed 00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:26.920 that she Isn't the wrong. Well, what do you think? 00:28:27.039 --> 00:28:28.700 It's not it's not like he doesn't he doesn't 00:28:28.700 --> 00:28:30.779 say it explicitly but he does say that that's 00:28:30.779 --> 00:28:34.059 like the the baseline for this this guy's therapy 00:28:34.059 --> 00:28:36.430 is like Accountability. Yeah, he doesn't want 00:28:36.430 --> 00:28:38.630 to hear he said she said doesn't want to hear 00:28:38.630 --> 00:28:41.410 any back and forth he just wants to hear you 00:28:41.410 --> 00:28:44.690 say like What was your part in this? Yeah, what 00:28:44.690 --> 00:28:47.930 is like? What can you own and he's obviously 00:28:47.930 --> 00:28:51.329 he's older said that he's 70 But that's one thing 00:28:51.329 --> 00:28:53.730 that our therapist is really good at is like 00:28:53.730 --> 00:28:56.170 anytime things get elevated or start to head 00:28:56.170 --> 00:28:58.730 that direction I mean she has control of where 00:28:58.730 --> 00:29:02.490 the conversations going at all times. Yeah and 00:29:03.119 --> 00:29:06.759 For therapy to be therapy. That's what has to 00:29:06.759 --> 00:29:11.740 happen how many people have we seen and like 00:29:11.740 --> 00:29:14.500 Whatever therapy is hard. It's hard work. It's 00:29:14.500 --> 00:29:17.339 hard to take accountability, but so many people 00:29:17.339 --> 00:29:20.220 have gone And then been like oh I didn't like 00:29:20.220 --> 00:29:22.740 it I didn't like it for this reason like it didn't 00:29:22.740 --> 00:29:25.359 work for me for this reason It's like they're 00:29:25.359 --> 00:29:27.279 pointing out the stuff that you don't want to 00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:30.900 acknowledge in yourself Yeah, so yeah, there's 00:29:30.900 --> 00:29:33.940 that's just a lot. I just feel like What struck 00:29:33.940 --> 00:29:37.819 me was he needs The therapist has a responsibility 00:29:37.819 --> 00:29:41.200 to kind of steer the ship. Yes It's not to say 00:29:41.200 --> 00:29:43.420 that he was wrong for kicking them out like he 00:29:43.420 --> 00:29:45.799 like handed them the tip jar as they were walking 00:29:45.799 --> 00:29:48.180 out He probably threw it at her face. Honestly, 00:29:48.599 --> 00:29:51.240 I just grabbed pickpocketed took the wallet said 00:29:51.240 --> 00:29:54.970 see ya my favorite part of the story was He walked 00:29:54.970 --> 00:29:57.289 back in and was like, can I just have a few moments? 00:29:57.369 --> 00:29:59.289 And he's like, yeah, this is why. And then husband's 00:29:59.289 --> 00:30:01.869 like, got it. OK, cool. Like, it's not me. It's 00:30:01.869 --> 00:30:05.690 her. Exactly. He's like, OK, just like just wanted 00:30:05.690 --> 00:30:07.970 to make sure I was right. She's wrong. Yeah. 00:30:08.430 --> 00:30:10.250 He's like, OK, well, then I can leave her now. 00:30:10.269 --> 00:30:13.410 I feel better about this. I could also understand, 00:30:13.789 --> 00:30:15.430 like he felt like she was being cooperative. 00:30:15.529 --> 00:30:17.289 She was reading the text. He thought that that 00:30:17.289 --> 00:30:19.349 was like a step in the right direction. Yeah. 00:30:19.630 --> 00:30:21.410 Even though she sounded like a robot, like she 00:30:21.410 --> 00:30:23.900 didn't care. She's like. Saying all this hurtful 00:30:23.900 --> 00:30:26.299 stuff about him. Who knows what that could have 00:30:26.299 --> 00:30:29.619 been but yeah, she's like being snide Talking 00:30:29.619 --> 00:30:31.859 like a robot. He's like, oh, this is cool. Like 00:30:31.859 --> 00:30:35.680 this is progress Therapist is like this girl's 00:30:35.680 --> 00:30:37.700 great. Great. Yeah, he's like get the frick out 00:30:37.700 --> 00:30:40.460 of my office. Yeah, I'm too old for this Truly. 00:30:40.839 --> 00:30:42.920 Oh, that's a great one. That could be the fake. 00:30:42.920 --> 00:30:45.440 I don't know. This was so this was only posted 00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:48.420 three days ago This is a very recent no update. 00:30:48.599 --> 00:30:51.150 Okay Couple of good comments though. You need 00:30:51.150 --> 00:30:53.589 to sleep with one eye open and both shoes on. 00:30:53.789 --> 00:30:58.470 Time to fly like Peter Pan. OP said made me laugh 00:30:58.470 --> 00:31:01.700 and feel like a lost boy at the same time. Okay, 00:31:01.940 --> 00:31:03.759 here's here's one more good one before we move 00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:06.200 on. This is one of a kind counselor, but basically 00:31:06.200 --> 00:31:07.940 what he is saying to you is that there is no 00:31:07.940 --> 00:31:10.380 point in continuing in therapy, so it was not 00:31:10.380 --> 00:31:12.579 healthy or productive. For marriage counseling 00:31:12.579 --> 00:31:14.700 to be effective, both parties have to be willing 00:31:14.700 --> 00:31:17.759 participants be self reflective, take ownership 00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:20.779 of their mistakes, be open to feedback, and willing 00:31:20.779 --> 00:31:23.259 to action those changes. Just because you're 00:31:23.259 --> 00:31:25.259 doing all those things does not mean this will 00:31:25.259 --> 00:31:28.029 work because she is none of those things. Also, 00:31:28.069 --> 00:31:30.190 as you are the only person open to feedback and 00:31:30.190 --> 00:31:32.490 taking ownership, it is unhealthy to be in therapy 00:31:32.490 --> 00:31:34.890 with this person as you are open for attack slash 00:31:34.890 --> 00:31:38.039 blame. He listened to you being open and saw 00:31:38.039 --> 00:31:40.400 your wife say awful things to you Even if it 00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:42.519 was reading things she said to you in the past 00:31:42.519 --> 00:31:44.559 The fact that she was reading them again without 00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:46.640 remorse is basically her saying horrible things 00:31:46.640 --> 00:31:49.380 all over again He did not want to expose himself 00:31:49.380 --> 00:31:51.759 to this toxicity It's trying to show you that 00:31:51.759 --> 00:31:54.220 it should not be acceptable to you home and a 00:31:54.220 --> 00:31:56.359 therapist office are supposed to be two places 00:31:56.359 --> 00:31:58.640 Where you can be safe and emotionally vulnerable? 00:31:58.839 --> 00:32:00.960 First time your wife shows up to therapy and 00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:02.960 she is kicked out because she made it emotionally 00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:05.140 unsafe. Think about what that implies about your 00:32:05.140 --> 00:32:07.380 home life and what that is showing your daughter 00:32:07.380 --> 00:32:09.500 about acceptable treatment from a loved one. 00:32:09.660 --> 00:32:14.609 Mic drop. Like hello. Yeah. OP says, I honestly 00:32:14.609 --> 00:32:16.130 didn't think about it this way. You're not the 00:32:16.130 --> 00:32:17.789 only one that said it, but thank you for pointing 00:32:17.789 --> 00:32:20.269 that out. I didn't know counselors couldn't just 00:32:20.269 --> 00:32:22.670 tell you to get a divorce. When I went back alone 00:32:22.670 --> 00:32:24.970 at the end, he said, hey, bless you, sir. And 00:32:24.970 --> 00:32:26.829 now that I look back at that comment and see 00:32:26.829 --> 00:32:28.609 it as him saying, good luck with that, buddy. 00:32:29.670 --> 00:32:32.750 Wow. That's tough. I know sometimes I feel like 00:32:32.750 --> 00:32:34.789 I wish therapists would just sit you down and 00:32:34.789 --> 00:32:37.109 be like, look, you need to get out. Like, this 00:32:37.109 --> 00:32:40.490 is not healthy. Like, you need to leave. But. 00:32:40.939 --> 00:32:43.380 I don't know of any that do that. Well, at least 00:32:43.380 --> 00:32:46.640 ours have never done that to you. No. My ex and 00:32:46.640 --> 00:32:48.599 I were kicked out of therapy once. We are divorced 00:32:48.599 --> 00:32:54.220 now, smiley face. Oh, I love it. Well, never 00:32:54.220 --> 00:32:56.380 say never. We're still in therapy, so we'll see. 00:32:56.519 --> 00:32:59.220 Hey, and you know, it only works when both participants 00:32:59.220 --> 00:33:02.700 are willing. Yes. That's so true. I actually, 00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:06.359 this is kind of personal, but yesterday I was 00:33:06.359 --> 00:33:08.039 having a really hard time with something that 00:33:08.039 --> 00:33:10.190 we struggle with in our marriage and... We're 00:33:10.190 --> 00:33:13.410 going deep, Joe. I'm here for it. I can't. Anyways, 00:33:13.430 --> 00:33:16.849 and I was getting really mad at him. And it really 00:33:16.849 --> 00:33:20.190 was just my body fighting, not looking at myself 00:33:20.190 --> 00:33:23.829 with that specific topic that we were like, kind 00:33:23.829 --> 00:33:26.390 of like having a hard time with. So anyways, 00:33:26.549 --> 00:33:30.210 just like don't be afraid to look inward and 00:33:30.210 --> 00:33:33.170 look why you are mad. And it's not it's most 00:33:33.170 --> 00:33:35.849 likely not because of your spouse. It's got to 00:33:35.849 --> 00:33:39.140 do with. things that are in you with insecurity 00:33:39.140 --> 00:33:42.640 or the way you were programmed and What you learned 00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:44.519 and what you saw growing up. Anyways, it was 00:33:44.519 --> 00:33:46.960 just really cool. And once I did that, it was 00:33:46.960 --> 00:33:49.319 like my whole nervous system. Well, once I did 00:33:49.319 --> 00:33:52.200 that and looked inward and I expressed my feelings 00:33:52.200 --> 00:33:54.339 towards it with Joe, it was like really cool 00:33:54.339 --> 00:33:56.779 because my whole nervous system totally just 00:33:56.779 --> 00:33:59.259 was regulated at that point. And I haven't really 00:33:59.259 --> 00:34:01.920 had like a little flare up since. So that was 00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:04.220 cool. That's and it's really cool. We do emotionally 00:34:04.220 --> 00:34:07.000 focused therapy. Yeah. So there's a lot. It's 00:34:07.000 --> 00:34:10.869 it's science back like the process of of regulating 00:34:10.869 --> 00:34:13.190 your nervous system versus all the other stuff 00:34:13.190 --> 00:34:15.949 that we try to regulate our nervous system with. 00:34:16.130 --> 00:34:19.949 And so it's cool. It's really cool to see the 00:34:19.949 --> 00:34:22.949 hard work paying off in real life moments where 00:34:22.949 --> 00:34:26.050 just like that, our nervous system can fire and 00:34:26.050 --> 00:34:30.530 you can feel this animosity. But if both people 00:34:30.530 --> 00:34:33.769 are willing to do the same thing and look inside, 00:34:33.889 --> 00:34:36.510 be curious, why am I feeling this way? What is 00:34:36.510 --> 00:34:42.360 it? For us, for me. Like it's taken years of 00:34:42.360 --> 00:34:44.780 therapy, of like just being willing to go through 00:34:44.780 --> 00:34:46.820 things with the fine -tooth comb. Everything 00:34:46.820 --> 00:34:49.900 predates your relationship. All the problems 00:34:49.900 --> 00:34:52.099 that are in your relationship have to do with 00:34:52.099 --> 00:34:54.400 what happened to you before your relationship. 00:34:55.059 --> 00:34:57.880 Like how you learned, what your environment was 00:34:57.880 --> 00:35:00.860 like, how you processed information, like all 00:35:00.860 --> 00:35:05.329 of it. So therapy's awesome and it is... Hard 00:35:05.329 --> 00:35:08.449 work that's worth it. Especially yeah with marriage 00:35:08.449 --> 00:35:11.710 counseling both parties have to be willing participants 00:35:11.710 --> 00:35:16.690 and being willing to look inward and like Everybody 00:35:16.690 --> 00:35:19.730 would benefit from therapy. I'm yeah, I'm convinced 00:35:19.730 --> 00:35:23.130 even if it's not you be single You could be yes 00:35:23.130 --> 00:35:25.289 in a relationship and still going by yourself 00:35:25.289 --> 00:35:28.650 Like you can always benefit from having that 00:35:28.650 --> 00:35:30.869 ability to reflect and look at what's going on 00:35:30.909 --> 00:35:33.630 for yourself. And I would say the last thing 00:35:33.630 --> 00:35:37.809 on our therapy kick, it's don't be afraid to 00:35:37.809 --> 00:35:42.250 to look for therapists like if you're not vibing 00:35:42.250 --> 00:35:44.769 with one, don't feel like you need to stick with 00:35:44.769 --> 00:35:46.789 them because you're going to end up quitting 00:35:46.789 --> 00:35:48.630 and then you're never going to want to go back. 00:35:48.920 --> 00:35:52.159 So find a therapist that you feel like really 00:35:52.159 --> 00:35:54.599 gels with you. Like, yeah, don't be afraid to 00:35:54.599 --> 00:35:56.619 shop the therapist, but also there's so many 00:35:56.619 --> 00:35:59.380 different types of therapy. Oh my gosh. If we 00:35:59.380 --> 00:36:03.380 can talk about any, it is EFT therapy. We've 00:36:03.380 --> 00:36:06.739 done all sorts of stuff. We have done all sorts 00:36:06.739 --> 00:36:12.340 of therapy and EFT therapy is 1000 % life changing. 00:36:12.539 --> 00:36:14.599 I mean, we are literally breaking generational 00:36:14.599 --> 00:36:17.869 trauma. It has been the biggest blessing knowing 00:36:17.869 --> 00:36:19.730 that like what we're doing is going to bless 00:36:19.730 --> 00:36:22.650 our daughter and our future kids. Hundred percent. 00:36:22.670 --> 00:36:24.389 And that's been the coolest thing. And our marriage, 00:36:24.389 --> 00:36:28.389 of course, but. Just being able to understand 00:36:28.389 --> 00:36:31.349 ourselves because we all walk around protected. 00:36:31.510 --> 00:36:34.469 We all walk around, not just like feeling everything 00:36:34.469 --> 00:36:36.849 that's going on on the inside all the time. Yeah. 00:36:37.050 --> 00:36:40.610 So it's yeah, it's awesome. I am going to put 00:36:40.610 --> 00:36:44.789 a link to like the EFT. website that just explains 00:36:44.789 --> 00:36:48.329 what it is in this episode notes. So refer to 00:36:48.329 --> 00:36:50.469 that if you're at all curious. Well now I'm ready 00:36:50.469 --> 00:36:54.110 for my story and it's extra scary. Hey and better 00:36:54.110 --> 00:36:57.610 help sponsor us. For real? Like how do you not? 00:36:58.010 --> 00:37:01.309 Gosh. Am I the asshole for dating my friend's 00:37:01.309 --> 00:37:04.429 therapist despite her pleading me not to? TA 00:37:04.429 --> 00:37:07.949 as I don't want to dox myself. I have a very 00:37:07.949 --> 00:37:09.989 tight -knit group of friends. We are always there 00:37:09.989 --> 00:37:12.030 for each other for all the ups and downs. I see 00:37:12.030 --> 00:37:14.570 them all as my sister, and I've never done anything 00:37:14.570 --> 00:37:16.650 that would affect them negatively. A few years 00:37:16.650 --> 00:37:18.670 back, something really horrible happened to one 00:37:18.670 --> 00:37:21.369 of them, Susan, and she went into a downward 00:37:21.369 --> 00:37:24.369 spiral. After many shitty therapists, she finally 00:37:24.369 --> 00:37:26.010 found one that worked for her, and she started 00:37:26.010 --> 00:37:28.050 to slowly crawl herself out of the darkness. 00:37:28.230 --> 00:37:30.929 We were all so happy for her. I moved away to 00:37:30.929 --> 00:37:33.570 a nearby city about five months ago. My new home 00:37:33.570 --> 00:37:35.789 is about an hour and a half right away from where 00:37:35.789 --> 00:37:37.969 I grew up. When all the necessities were paid 00:37:37.969 --> 00:37:40.969 for, I went on an impromptu holiday to Greece 00:37:40.969 --> 00:37:43.030 when I calculated that I had some money to spare. 00:37:43.329 --> 00:37:46.369 There I met an amazing guy on my first day in 00:37:46.369 --> 00:37:48.469 a restaurant. We immediately clicked. This has 00:37:48.469 --> 00:37:50.610 never happened to me before. I initially planned 00:37:50.610 --> 00:37:53.269 a hiking type of solo holiday, but we spent all 00:37:53.269 --> 00:37:55.789 11 days together. I found out that he lives in 00:37:55.789 --> 00:37:58.659 the same city that I moved to. So naturally he 00:37:58.659 --> 00:38:00.760 changed his ticket and came back with me. I told 00:38:00.760 --> 00:38:02.659 my friends about it and everyone was happy for 00:38:02.659 --> 00:38:05.760 me, even Susan. During the holiday he tells me 00:38:05.760 --> 00:38:08.199 he worked in the mental health field, but we 00:38:08.199 --> 00:38:10.219 were too busy enjoying our time together to be 00:38:10.219 --> 00:38:12.119 talking about the specifics of work. When we 00:38:12.119 --> 00:38:14.840 returned we continued dating. We still are. Long 00:38:14.840 --> 00:38:17.599 story short, turns out he is Susan's therapist. 00:38:17.820 --> 00:38:19.440 When it finally clicked for her, she told me 00:38:19.440 --> 00:38:21.579 I had to drop him. She said she was happy for 00:38:21.579 --> 00:38:23.900 me having a holiday fling, but she didn't feel 00:38:23.900 --> 00:38:25.639 comfortable that I was dating the guy that had 00:38:25.639 --> 00:38:28.079 all her confidential info and that he might even 00:38:28.079 --> 00:38:30.690 be breaking some hippo rules by dating me. I 00:38:30.690 --> 00:38:32.889 told her neither one of us knew and that she 00:38:32.889 --> 00:38:34.690 herself thought that he was a great therapist 00:38:34.690 --> 00:38:36.710 so why couldn't she trust that he would keep 00:38:36.710 --> 00:38:38.769 it professional? I told her that he hadn't told 00:38:38.769 --> 00:38:40.869 me anything about any of his clients and I had 00:38:40.869 --> 00:38:43.170 never asked him about it either. We were always 00:38:43.170 --> 00:38:44.849 in the moment with each other instead of worrying 00:38:44.849 --> 00:38:47.510 about who and what would happen during work hours. 00:38:47.710 --> 00:38:49.670 At her next appointment she confronted me and 00:38:49.670 --> 00:38:51.909 had asked him to dump me or she would report 00:38:51.909 --> 00:38:54.730 him. He reassured her that he would never violate 00:38:54.730 --> 00:38:57.329 patient's confidentiality but she kept harassing 00:38:57.329 --> 00:38:59.369 him for the next few appointments. He talked 00:38:59.369 --> 00:39:01.739 to me about her harassing him to dump me as it 00:39:01.739 --> 00:39:04.440 wasn't part of patient confidentiality. He wanted 00:39:04.440 --> 00:39:06.860 to know I felt the same way about him as he did 00:39:06.860 --> 00:39:08.900 about me and if we had a future together and 00:39:08.900 --> 00:39:11.380 I said yes. After that he recused himself from 00:39:11.380 --> 00:39:14.079 being her therapist and recommended one of his 00:39:14.079 --> 00:39:17.400 colleagues to her. Since then, Susan has been 00:39:17.400 --> 00:39:19.440 on a smear campaign against me and our tight 00:39:19.440 --> 00:39:21.780 -knit group isn't so tight anymore. She didn't 00:39:21.780 --> 00:39:24.179 take him up on his recommendation and due to 00:39:24.179 --> 00:39:26.119 being out of therapy she has started to drink 00:39:26.119 --> 00:39:29.099 again and one of our friends told me she rarely 00:39:29.099 --> 00:39:32.360 bays and other parts of her hygiene have suffered 00:39:32.360 --> 00:39:34.980 too. She also skipped a lot of days of work and 00:39:34.980 --> 00:39:37.039 might lose her job. She isn't faking her downward 00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:39.239 smile but I can't go through what she and all 00:39:39.239 --> 00:39:41.760 our other friends want me to do. They say he 00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:43.639 is just a man and there are millions of men out 00:39:43.639 --> 00:39:46.300 there for me, so why would I dump him for her? 00:39:46.699 --> 00:39:48.840 It took Susan this long to find a good therapist 00:39:48.840 --> 00:39:50.579 and that it took her an hour and a half to drive 00:39:50.579 --> 00:39:52.579 to him, but she did it despite the commute to 00:39:52.579 --> 00:39:54.880 get better. According to them, she might not 00:39:54.880 --> 00:39:57.079 find a good therapist closer or within that driving 00:39:57.079 --> 00:39:59.500 distance as she has exhausted all the nearby 00:39:59.500 --> 00:40:01.639 possibilities. They are telling me that I'm risking 00:40:01.639 --> 00:40:05.199 her life for a holiday fling. Am I the asshole 00:40:05.199 --> 00:40:08.780 for being the hurdle in her recovery? What on 00:40:08.780 --> 00:40:12.440 earth? No. Again. Therapist, why do you? Poor 00:40:12.440 --> 00:40:14.219 therapist. Shout out to all of you. You guys 00:40:14.219 --> 00:40:16.980 just get hosed. You just have the worst luck. 00:40:17.119 --> 00:40:19.980 You fall in love on a vacation. Somehow you go 00:40:19.980 --> 00:40:22.559 on vacation. How far away was it? It was a ways 00:40:22.559 --> 00:40:27.219 away. You go on vacation and somehow you just 00:40:27.219 --> 00:40:31.420 have this fling with your patient's friend. Crazy. 00:40:32.440 --> 00:40:35.639 Could you imagine? From here you go to the beach. 00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:39.320 Even if it's Rocky Point. Yeah. That is, again, 00:40:39.739 --> 00:40:43.599 just so freaking unlucky. And who is this coddled 00:40:43.599 --> 00:40:46.719 friend, who is Susan, that like the whole world 00:40:46.719 --> 00:40:49.019 is just moving for her to like make sure she 00:40:49.019 --> 00:40:50.780 can stay with the same therapist? Oh, I know. 00:40:50.800 --> 00:40:53.219 Probably just wants to jump his bones too. Probably. 00:40:53.599 --> 00:40:55.619 And there is an edit, so there's a little more 00:40:55.619 --> 00:41:21.170 context for you. Oh good. During those two months, 00:41:21.250 --> 00:41:23.510 we spent almost every evening together and the 00:41:23.510 --> 00:41:25.989 weekends. I guess you can call it speed racing 00:41:25.989 --> 00:41:28.469 a relationship. The first session after it clicked 00:41:28.469 --> 00:41:30.909 for her, she used to tell him to dump me, which 00:41:30.909 --> 00:41:35.309 is so inappropriate, first of all. It's so inappropriate. 00:41:36.409 --> 00:41:38.909 Those lines are like, I don't even know. Yeah. 00:41:39.179 --> 00:41:42.059 He never told me she was his patient. She outed 00:41:42.059 --> 00:41:44.659 herself as his patient. The next two sessions, 00:41:44.679 --> 00:41:47.340 they add, she also used to convince him to dump 00:41:47.340 --> 00:41:49.400 me while he was trying to help her to transition 00:41:49.400 --> 00:41:51.400 to someone else, but she spent them trying to 00:41:51.400 --> 00:41:53.539 convince him to dump me. She told me all of this. 00:41:54.039 --> 00:41:55.860 And a lot of our mutual friends refer to this 00:41:55.860 --> 00:41:57.920 because obviously she shared this info with them. 00:41:58.219 --> 00:42:00.360 The fourth session, she didn't even start because 00:42:00.360 --> 00:42:02.320 she had the jacket on and hadn't even closed 00:42:02.320 --> 00:42:04.860 the door before she went full nuclear about reporting 00:42:04.860 --> 00:42:06.920 him for dating someone from her close circle. 00:42:07.039 --> 00:42:09.940 social circle. Four sessions in, two and a half 00:42:09.940 --> 00:42:12.159 weeks. He wasn't stringing her along for a long 00:42:12.159 --> 00:42:14.800 time before letting her go. The smear campaign 00:42:14.800 --> 00:42:17.039 started almost immediately and I had lasted three 00:42:17.039 --> 00:42:19.000 out of five months of my relationship with him. 00:42:19.139 --> 00:42:21.460 He works in a building that is subsidized by 00:42:21.460 --> 00:42:23.340 the branch that is responsible for health in 00:42:23.340 --> 00:42:25.820 our country. But they also take private clients' 00:42:26.079 --> 00:42:29.199 patients as there are a few other types of health 00:42:29.199 --> 00:42:31.860 workers, including specialized nurses. They are 00:42:31.860 --> 00:42:33.780 people that are regulators of the practice. He 00:42:33.780 --> 00:42:35.480 went to one of his senior colleagues and one 00:42:35.480 --> 00:42:37.480 of those regulators there with administrative 00:42:37.480 --> 00:42:39.880 role that also provide therapy for those that 00:42:39.880 --> 00:42:42.170 work in this field. After confirming that he 00:42:42.170 --> 00:42:43.889 could discuss this issue with me, he mentioned 00:42:43.889 --> 00:42:45.650 about the harassment in the last session because 00:42:45.650 --> 00:42:48.150 it is not covered under patient confidentiality. 00:42:48.329 --> 00:42:50.409 The session wasn't even regarded as a session. 00:42:50.789 --> 00:42:52.909 This regulator told him to tell me about the 00:42:52.909 --> 00:42:55.369 harassment as SOs can be targeted by patients. 00:42:55.610 --> 00:42:58.050 Him coming to me and asking me about our future 00:42:58.050 --> 00:43:00.250 is something I worked out after the fact of the 00:43:00.250 --> 00:43:02.130 timeline of events. He was intent on stopping 00:43:02.130 --> 00:43:04.210 to see her anyways when I told him he was her 00:43:04.210 --> 00:43:06.710 therapist. But when I did, he neither confirmed 00:43:06.710 --> 00:43:08.929 or denied it. Only after the fourth session did 00:43:08.929 --> 00:43:10.650 he mention the harassment because because his 00:43:10.650 --> 00:43:12.789 workplace wanted texts confirming that she had 00:43:12.789 --> 00:43:14.849 outed herself in case she wanted to make a false 00:43:14.849 --> 00:43:17.230 claim. Due to an incident in our country where 00:43:17.230 --> 00:43:19.250 a mental health worker's son was stabbed by a 00:43:19.250 --> 00:43:21.190 patient that stalked him home and started harassing 00:43:21.190 --> 00:43:23.710 him, certain things are not covered under patient 00:43:23.710 --> 00:43:27.309 confidentiality as she outed herself and he hasn't 00:43:27.309 --> 00:43:29.329 mentioned anything. I don't know how things work 00:43:29.329 --> 00:43:31.949 in your country, but everyone does not live in 00:43:31.949 --> 00:43:35.199 the USA. Legally, he hasn't broken any laws or 00:43:35.199 --> 00:43:37.980 us -os can and do get notified if there are concerns. 00:43:38.260 --> 00:43:40.239 This is why they advise therapists not to have 00:43:40.239 --> 00:43:42.500 recent pictures of children and to not use their 00:43:42.500 --> 00:43:44.420 legal names for social media that can be used 00:43:44.420 --> 00:43:46.539 to track their daily routine. There are other 00:43:46.539 --> 00:43:49.400 safeguards too. So stop saying he broke the law. 00:43:49.500 --> 00:43:51.980 I am a significant other, and he only mentioned 00:43:51.980 --> 00:43:54.320 the harassment after okaying it with his work 00:43:54.320 --> 00:43:57.179 so I could be aware for my own safety. The bigger 00:43:57.179 --> 00:44:00.380 city I am in is not a metropolis like New York 00:44:00.380 --> 00:44:03.420 or Tokyo. My country only has a handful of millions 00:44:03.420 --> 00:44:06.199 in the entire country. The bigger city is bigger 00:44:06.199 --> 00:44:07.860 than the previous one, but a lot of you would 00:44:07.860 --> 00:44:09.500 probably call it a small city. The fact that 00:44:09.500 --> 00:44:11.800 I would bump into someone from my country in 00:44:11.800 --> 00:44:13.659 that region of the world, which is probably the 00:44:13.659 --> 00:44:15.619 number one holiday destination for my people, 00:44:15.780 --> 00:44:18.980 are high. when we both live in the city closest 00:44:18.980 --> 00:44:23.079 to the airport. I hope this clears things up." 00:44:23.079 --> 00:44:24.599 That's like, that's everything that I wanted 00:44:24.599 --> 00:44:27.380 to know. Yeah, she covered every little thing. 00:44:27.599 --> 00:44:30.079 But she like, she made it clear that like, it's 00:44:30.079 --> 00:44:32.639 not, there was no HIPAA violation for this dude. 00:44:32.920 --> 00:44:34.300 There was nothing, there was nothing like that. 00:44:34.420 --> 00:44:36.780 There was people, it sounds like people in the 00:44:36.780 --> 00:44:39.599 comments were going at OP and saying that her 00:44:39.599 --> 00:44:42.199 significant other was a bad guy. Yeah. Breaking 00:44:42.199 --> 00:44:44.920 up their relationship. Here's the thing, therapists... 00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:48.559 They can fire clients too. They don't have to 00:44:48.559 --> 00:44:51.000 work with patients if it's not for whatever reason. 00:44:51.059 --> 00:44:53.079 They don't even have to have a reason. They just 00:44:53.079 --> 00:44:57.179 say no. So if he really has feelings for OP, 00:44:58.139 --> 00:45:00.219 he could have just ended the therapy anyway. 00:45:01.059 --> 00:45:02.579 And it sounds like he was trying to be a nice 00:45:02.579 --> 00:45:05.219 guy by still being willing to be her therapist. 00:45:05.400 --> 00:45:08.000 Like it didn't have to be this weird thing. Poor 00:45:08.000 --> 00:45:11.820 Susan for just being clinical. Poor Susan for 00:45:11.820 --> 00:45:13.880 needing all the help in the world. I don't think... 00:45:13.929 --> 00:45:17.110 that she was entitled to the therapist over the 00:45:17.110 --> 00:45:19.269 relationship. Do you think that she had like 00:45:19.269 --> 00:45:22.289 an unhealthy attachment to this therapist? Or 00:45:22.289 --> 00:45:24.469 do you think it just was so triggering for her 00:45:24.469 --> 00:45:26.869 that her friend that she might be low key like 00:45:26.869 --> 00:45:30.690 jealous of got this therapist? I mean, in the 00:45:30.690 --> 00:45:33.670 context of therapy, I feel like that's kind of 00:45:33.670 --> 00:45:36.449 like I couldn't assume that much either way. 00:45:37.070 --> 00:45:40.969 But it would be reasonable that she could be 00:45:40.969 --> 00:45:43.309 like have an unhealthy obsession with the guy. 00:45:43.449 --> 00:45:46.510 Well, it just feels weird that her entire recovery 00:45:46.510 --> 00:45:51.090 has to just hinge on this therapist. And they 00:45:51.090 --> 00:45:53.829 made it sound like she's exhausted every other 00:45:53.829 --> 00:45:56.130 option. She's driving an hour and a half for 00:45:56.130 --> 00:45:59.250 therapy. Yeah. And she's like, I don't know where 00:45:59.250 --> 00:46:01.289 this country is. I don't know if they like make 00:46:01.289 --> 00:46:04.349 it sound like it's like fairy tale, though. Yeah. 00:46:04.349 --> 00:46:07.650 What's that from Princess Diaries? Genovia? That's 00:46:07.650 --> 00:46:10.610 like what I'm picturing. Genovia? What's it? 00:46:10.690 --> 00:46:13.780 Yeah. Genovia? Is that what it's called? Princess 00:46:13.780 --> 00:46:18.579 of Genovia, I think. I don't know. The people 00:46:18.579 --> 00:46:21.320 will know. Yeah, I've never seen that, but it 00:46:21.320 --> 00:46:25.340 made me think of Winchesterton Fieldville, Iowa. 00:46:26.420 --> 00:46:30.030 That's from Mr. Deeds. I love it. So there's 00:46:30.030 --> 00:46:32.489 a comment here. It says my wife who was a therapist 00:46:32.489 --> 00:46:34.530 said he shouldn't even take her back at this 00:46:34.530 --> 00:46:37.110 point. It would be unethical to do so. Her only 00:46:37.110 --> 00:46:39.250 complaint with the whole mess is he didn't start 00:46:39.250 --> 00:46:42.210 moving her over to a new therapist immediately. 00:46:42.489 --> 00:46:45.150 Even if the relationship had ended then and there, 00:46:45.210 --> 00:46:48.409 lines are crossed that can't be uncrossed. So 00:46:48.409 --> 00:46:50.989 I was like, oh, OK, that makes sense. I should 00:46:50.989 --> 00:46:53.190 have transitioned her over. Yeah, that does make 00:46:53.190 --> 00:46:55.449 sense. Yeah. And I'm not going to I wouldn't 00:46:55.449 --> 00:46:58.679 claim to be a hippo. Expert Wow even in this 00:46:58.679 --> 00:47:01.519 comment later on he says my wife's so concerned 00:47:01.519 --> 00:47:04.219 about crossing lines That she will leave places 00:47:04.219 --> 00:47:06.599 if a client shows up So if they're at a restaurant 00:47:06.599 --> 00:47:09.659 waiting for food and a client comes in she'll 00:47:09.659 --> 00:47:13.880 leave dang therapists you guys The husband goes 00:47:13.880 --> 00:47:16.039 I hate it because I hate takeout. We usually 00:47:16.039 --> 00:47:21.900 just go somewhere else and have leftovers So 00:47:21.900 --> 00:47:25.280 therapies dope I feel bad for all therapists. 00:47:25.519 --> 00:47:28.860 Prayers to all of you. Thanks for keeping families 00:47:28.860 --> 00:47:34.880 together. And what an episode. Scary, scary therapy. 00:47:35.239 --> 00:47:39.340 Therapy is scary. Yes. All the things. All the 00:47:39.340 --> 00:47:42.280 things. Subscribe to us on YouTube, please. We 00:47:42.280 --> 00:47:44.659 love you guys. Comment who you think is the fake 00:47:44.659 --> 00:47:47.059 on our socials. We have Instagram and TikTok 00:47:47.059 --> 00:47:49.380 and Facebook as well. So go like our Facebook 00:47:49.380 --> 00:47:52.539 page. We would love that. And email us your crazy 00:47:52.539 --> 00:47:56.260 stories. Internet frenzy at gmail .com and tell 00:47:56.260 --> 00:47:58.679 your mom about us tell your mom your aunt your 00:47:58.679 --> 00:48:00.840 daughter your sister not your daughter She's 00:48:00.840 --> 00:48:03.460 probably like six your brothers. What about the 00:48:03.460 --> 00:48:06.519 dudes a hundred percent and your uncle's uncle's 00:48:06.519 --> 00:48:09.460 love this shit Where's the fungal? Yes, he's 00:48:09.460 --> 00:48:18.300 in every story Thank you guys for listening yeah 00:48:18.300 --> 00:48:21.960 another one we appreciate all the support drop 00:48:21.960 --> 00:48:25.010 us a rating your favorite pop podcasting platform 00:48:25.010 --> 00:48:27.730 it goes a long way you guys wouldn't wouldn't 00:48:27.730 --> 00:48:29.909 even get it like there's like a direct correlation 00:48:29.909 --> 00:48:33.469 when we receive the ratings the listens go up 00:48:33.469 --> 00:48:36.349 yeah we appreciate all the support thanks for 00:48:36.349 --> 00:48:38.789 listening we'll catch you guys next week loves 00:48:38.789 --> 00:48:41.710 call your therapist call your therapist internet 00:48:41.710 --> 00:48:46.250 frenzy on three one two three internet frenzy 00:48:46.250 --> 00:48:48.929 we love you guys have a good week bye who's the 00:48:48.929 --> 00:49:03.639 fake bye Click no pretending