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Hey, they so much you guys don't have to decide what you are yet
You don't have to you don't have to make a distinguished
Choice. Yeah, just keep listening and see how you feel. That's right fair enough fair enough. All right. So who had the fake last week? Oh
It was me I thought it might have been you yeah
I had a few people reach out and they all guessed me so I don't think my chat GBT story was good enough
Hey, you got caught me. You got a finesse the prompt sometimes
I will next time if it is me tonight. You'll never know because it's really freaking good. Oh, so might be you tonight
It's not 50% chance. Yeah, you guys all have a 50% chance tonight because it's me and Joe
I'm gonna read two stories. Oh
It's gonna my throw them off a little bit my throw them off your scent because we all know you have the fake
Or maybe I do maybe I don't guess guess we'll find out. Yes, we will but it is Valentine's Day Eve
We gave you a little Valentine's Day story last week
We're gonna hit you with another one the theme for this week is Cupid's biggest misses
I
Missed just missed just went right by I was shooting for the butt cheek straight matrix that she is you just got a small booty
Oh, well, it's a small target. I don't know. I've been I've been hitting the squats. Oh, I know. Oh my gosh
All right, well dips going first. Oh, it's my like I deserve it. You've been going first every single time
Okay, you're right. You're right. All right, everyone get your popcorn. Let's do this buckle up
That was terrible this one's this one's good. I'm excited you always have such good stories
You're gonna like this one. All righty
Here we go, this one is from am I the asshole am I the asshole for kicking my best man out of my wedding after his speech
Whoa, he gives his speech and he kicks him out. You're gonna love this just wait
Oh, I wish I was so I'm a videographer for those that don't know and I would love to be able to film this type of wedding
Oh my gosh, that is the juice right there. I would zoom in on that so far so far too hard so far so far
Yeah
All right, so I 32 am just got married this past weekend. Everything was going great venue is beautiful food was good
My wife 28 f looked amazing and then we got to the speeches my best man
Let's call him Jeremy 30m has been my best friend since college
Solid dude never had any issues so I figured his speech would be the usual best man stuff how we met couple embarrassing stories
Maybe a toast nope Jake gets up there clears his throat and immediately starts talking about how he and my wife used to date in high school
Oh
News to me my wife and I have been together for five years and she never mentioned this
No
But I kept my cool because whatever high school was a long time ago then he keeps going he starts talking about how they always had a connection
And how he never stopped caring about her at this point you can feel the room tense up my wife is staring at him like he's a grown
Sorry, my wife is staring at him like he's grown a second head
I'm just sitting there like where is this going then this dude actually says quote if things had gone differently
Maybe I'd be the one up here today
No way this is real oh
Straight up I swear you could hear a pin drop my wife looks mortified her mom gasps
And then everyone can hear my dad mutter JC
I'll never say that Jeremy then awkwardly tries to pivot into the but I'm happy for you guys thing
But the damage is done. I stand up and say yeah, that's enough man and just stared him
He stammered something about meaning well, but I tell him to leave tries to laugh it off
But no one's laughing and eventually he gets the idea and leaves the reception. Oh
Naturally the vibe is shot later
He texts me saying I overreacted and it was just an honest moment
Some of my friends think I should have just let it slide. So am I the asshole for kicking my best man out for his speech?
Was he like
Sloshing like was he so drunk doesn't say just says that he got up there like to give the toast and like
maybe just got carried away in the moment and
Just be saying the things but
It is insane to me that the wife also didn't tell
Didn't tell her husband that she had a fling with this guy in high school, right?
That's a red flag because they're like running in the same circle still I
Really would be a little bit if I found out could you imagine no an expression on your wedding day
And it's like a speech and it's like one of your bridesmaids just gets up and it's like so oh
I
Would be so furious that is
Madness to me so it doesn't say if he was drunk or not. No, okay. Nope. I
mean
Have to assume he's probably a little bit a little bit loosened up gotta be but yeah, it's like
But also with the speech you have it prepared when you go
So like he probably wrote it beforehand or at least thought about what he was going to say
Before the speed top it before he was drinking before he was not in his right mind headspace
I would be I'd be curious if you're listening right now. Give us your thoughts. Would you write the speech or would you riff?
There's definitely the demographic that would riff as a videographer. Please do not riff
Just write it it sounds so much better
And then you can add it to a wedding film and it's so seamless and pretty and it tells their story
But if you're just riffing it doesn't work, but also like
If you're being asked to speak at a wedding, yeah, and you have the guts to just stand up there and like shoot from the hip
Shout out to you. I could never do that. That's lazy. I mean lazy or confident
But this yeah, obviously this Jeremy fellow he wrong wrong place wrong time
Poor poor OP poor OP like that is the worst way to start off your marriage
I know they weren't having a good time on their honeymoon. No, yeah, we
To have that be the way that like you kick things off. There's just like trust issues immediately hundred percent
so so bad that's
Horrible, is there an update or anything? No, but worth noting is that he's like he's like yeah
It was high school like he's like already trying to hedge like oh, it's not the most important thing in the world
Like whatever it's in the past. She married me blah blah blah. I wonder
It's like I wonder if he's truly doubting her or
He's chilling. He's like, okay, whatever. It's in the past. But my friends an idiot. No way
That's his best man, but people were texting him and saying like bro you overreacted you should I overreacted?
Yeah, he says it was just an honest moment. Well, no, he texted that some of my friends some of my friends think I should have
Just let us slide. Maybe he was just boozing and just like kind of loose
No, doesn't like quote the whole speech. He just says that they used to date in high school
He wishes it could have been him
Start talking about how they always had a connection and how he never stopped caring about her
Then you can't make that sound good you can't you absolutely can't I don't think his intentions were in the right place
He still wants to bang her a hundred percent and yeah, who knows who knows if he has I don't like this wifey either
But who knows maybe to her it was like nothing like high school fling. Yeah, they've been together for five years
Yeah, obviously, I mean she's 28. He's 32. Yeah
so she would have been five years removed at least from
The fling when they met, but it's not like that's just gonna come up in conversation like oh
By the way, oh, like since since so and so is your roommate since so and so is your friend
I should tell you that like I made out with him in high school. That should absolutely
Come up as soon as that name is dropped like think about me whenever anyone's name is dropped. What's the first thing I say?
Like oh, yeah hooked up with him
Okay, not everyone everyone every single person
Okay, so myself up for that. I'm just saying if that name comes up. I'm like, oh, yeah, I dated him
Well, yeah, but it's because we're like oh, yeah Channing Tatum. Oh, yeah, I dated him in high school
I wish yeah, that's type of stuff. No, but it's not like hard to compare
Just different but that's a wild story. He's obviously not the asshole for kicking his friend out because
buddy
Like at least tell something good about your about you your guy your homie
Oh, like stoke for you, man. Hope hope you have a good life with the girl that I dated in high school
She's a great kisser and joy. I thought everything she knows. Yeah, exactly
Why not gave her the tutoring in high school?
Good old tutoring so there we go. That's my story story
I feel like that was fake because of how crazy that was but
Straight on you can't like you just never know because read it. There are so many
Crazy stories and honestly, I've had some crazy stories as well happened in my life
That if I wrote them on Reddit people would be like, oh, that's fake. It's like no, that's that's my life
Yeah, I mean hey things happen speaking of a best man speech
Would you be comfortable sharing? Oh
My gosh
This is let's just say this is anonymous. I'm gonna make this non-specific
So you can edit out the name sure this happened to somebody I know there you go
I'm just gonna try to keep it anonymous. Yeah, this individual got up at his siblings wedding
Was just gushing about how much he loved his sisters now husband
Mm-hmm
Just you know really excited for the sister because she found just the best guy ever and
He just repeated over and over how awesome his new brother-in-law was
something to the effect of he never thought that this would happen for his sister and
How much he loves this guy and loves him and loves him and loves him all he said positive about this
About his sister was he would have never expected his sister to marry somebody like this guy
He's so grateful that this guy was able to tame her and he was able to put up with her. Oh my gosh
I love him. I love him. I love him and he was he was feeling it and was he drunk
Is that what feeling it means? Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, and the bride?
Stormed out of the reception
Area that is so sad and you just hear him
Oh, what the groom do after and like just like sat there for a second was obviously loving the speech to solve about how
Awesome he is and then all of a sudden the brides walking out and
Person giving the speech is like oh
shit
She's walking out of their room
Was it a big wedding? Oh, it was big enough. No, I was big enough
For some reason I pictured that wedding to be like more intimate. It was it was not small. Oh, wow, that's
wasn't massive, but it was like oh
It was a solid reception. Maybe I mean this is a truly just a ballpark 60 to 100 people as my guess
That's so sad. Did she come back in and enjoy the rest of the night? Um, I
Don't remember because the vibe was shot
No, I she did she did end up coming back in and like the the night continued, but oh
How old were you?
15 you're young
High school kiddo. Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah, that that was crazy. That's crazy. Oh, see that's a thing like these stories
You just never know
All right, are we ready for mine fire away?
Am I the asshole for telling my friend the rule reason I rejected her I
25 male I've been friends with Denise 24 female for about 12 years. You probably know where this is going
I had a crush on her until last year
I asked her out and she said no, but her actual response was you'll be my backup plan when things don't work out ouch
Oh, heck no
I mean was I hurt when she said that but I moved on and focused on me even though me and her so cold each other
I separated myself from the equation now
Fast forward yesterday and you can probably guess what happened
She wants to date and I point blank said no and she got pissed and I asked why my response
Denise you point blank call me your backup plan as in if I can't get a man
I like I'll give you a chance calling any man your backup plan to his face will get you ignored
I was taught to not be anyone's backup plan now I'm blocked so am I the asshole dang
Really Denise what are you doing?
How are you gonna do my guy like that that ain't right? I feel so bad for him because he obviously has had a crush on her
For a year now. He like has the courage to finally tell her and she's like
You'll be my backup plan if I can't find someone else. That's like she actually said those words
She's like if I can't find someone. Oh, what did she say? Yeah, you'll be my backup plan when things don't work out
I wonder why he doesn't want to date you Denise first of all
I don't know why Denise is surprised. Yeah, she should not be surprised
Don't ever tell a dude that he's the backup plan talk about Cupid missing. Yeah, like girl
If he was gonna be good enough to be your backup plan like give it an honest go and if he's not then don't
But don't don't do my guy like that. That's messed up
I'm proud of him for being like yeah, nah, I'm not doing that
But she blocked him so he's obviously frustrated and not like he still like wants her low key
Well, yeah, it's like the feelings don't just go away. You're not just like oh, I know I don't like you anymore
Yeah, it's like he just is hurt by the fact that he was the backup plan
Yeah, if he's smart he already knows that there's no way that relationship is gonna go anywhere because she wasn't down to date him
So it's like a pastime something to do now. I have another story the year is 2004
Ish, I'm in sixth grade. You know where this is going his OP said there was this popular kid in the school all the girls loved him
Very athletic kid then there was me
I was like kind of athletic, but I was not as cool as this guy
This kid was like wearing under armor before it was cool or when it first became cool
blue skin tight under armor with red armbands
Like this dude was ready for anything. Okay, he was he was in it to win it
I can just see it already. Oh
You don't even know he could jump high
No, but anyways, so he's kind of like king of this king of the school. We're in sixth grade
I mustered up the courage to ask this girl to be my girlfriend in sixth grade
Whoa, and she was new to our school
So it's kind of a big deal and she said yes like she was like down
So I'm like cool, you know, I'm excited and this is in the days where like you get a girlfriend
But you don't talk to him. You don't even look at him. You're too scared
This kid finds out that I'm dating her dating and he's like oh dude like let me just let me show you something
And I don't remember exactly how it happened
But he walked up to her and basically said like hey, I like I want to date you you should date me instead
And she turned around she turned to him. It was like oh, absolutely. Let me go and dump Joe now
Yeah
So he then tells her I'm actually not interested comes to tell me and says hey
This is what just happened. Just so you know did you dump her talk about being the backup plan or did you stay with her?
Oh, no, I I dumped her ass good. Yeah, I was like absolutely not. Oh
Did you tell her that or you just knew it was over and didn't ever say anything to her? Oh, no, I was I was I was
Devastated. Oh, yeah, I don't remember how I told her but I was like, yeah, no like that's that's not gonna be a thing
That's so sad. Yeah, I remember sitting in the back of the classroom
And I mean sixth grade you're like old enough, but you're still just a kid, you know
Yeah, 11 or 12 or whatever. Yeah, like I remember sitting in the back of the class and we had a m and p.m
So like half the kids would go in at 7 30 leave at 2 30 half the kids would go in at 9 and leave it whatever
3 30 whatever it is so she was part of the a.m
So she like left for the day with her class and then like the half of my class stayed
There's like less kids and I remember just sitting in the back of the class and I was like
I don't know what we were supposed to be doing, but I was just all sad and like you know
Yeah, yeah, I literally like head down like just bummed out in the back
And my teacher came up to me and like tried to console me
She was gross like everyone hated her and she was like not very nice
But she came back and was like trying to check on me. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder where he's at now
Do you know? Oh, I definitely do shut up
Does it make you feel better or worse way worse? No, he's rich. Oh, so rich
So frickin rich. Oh
Yeah, like made it out the mud. No, I mean good for him, but also no
Is he married?
Last I saw okay. Yeah, all right
Who's high school high school sweetheart actually wow
Okay, so he changed things around he stayed with one girl and no, yeah, no
He wasn't like a playboy type guy like he wasn't like he's just a wasn't like that
He's like he was king dingling in school. So he like I wanted to flaunt it off
Yeah, and you get to you know when you're an alpha like that you get to and now look at him
Crazy crazy crazy. Yeah, no, that's what if you got married to that girl?
That would have been crazy
Yeah
But hey, you know, we've all been there adds character. Yeah, oh P. You're gonna be fine
Don't don't give in we need to do a storyline of worse rejections ever like something crazy
That could be there's no law everyone gets rejected at one point in their life
I could I could have our producer add that to the list. Yeah
This one also comes from am I the asshole Cupid's biggest misses am I the asshole for rejecting my boyfriend's proposal?
Even though I've been dropping hints that I want to be married
Girls shut the frick up y'all be so
Exhausting just wait me 26f and boyfriend 30m have been dating for three years
We don't live together because we both want to get married first because our parents wouldn't agree to cohabitating before marriage
I've been fairly obvious about wanting to get married and my boyfriend has picked up on it last week
We went to my great-aunt's funeral although. I didn't know her very well
I was still upset and it was really hard to see how much it hurt my mother
So after the funeral we went to a hall that we rented to cater to the other mourners and to remember her my boyfriend saw
This as a chance to propose. Oh
Okay, I don't feel bad for him anymore
This left me mortified and everyone was staring at us for using this to make it about ourselves. Oh, I
I said no he got angry and walked off saying that I'm the one who wants to get married
So I shouldn't care where he proposes. He also said that if I truly loved him. I would say yes
He's ignoring me right now and won't give me a chance to explain in any other scenario
I would say yes, but I didn't think it was the right place or time
I'm wondering if I'm the asshole because I rejected him even though I want to get married when I asked my co-worker
She agreed that what I did was wrong, but wants more opinions from other people who don't know me
So am I the asshole?
No, I don't think she's the asshole. I
Think he should have not taken that time to do that. It's not about them. I would feel so uncomfortable
You're like I was celebrating in the happiest moment. You thought my proposal was bad. Yeah
That yeah, yeah, you're way better than that. Yeah
Like come on. Oh my god, dude's like yeah, we're all just mourning this dead lady, but like we made since we're all together
What do you think do you think like his speech level four was like right for sure?
We don't know how much longer we have we need to get married like made it about that like life or death kind of stuff
This dude this dude crushed a mound of funeral potatoes drank some fruit punch
And then walked up behind her when she's talking to aunt Susie and just got down on one knee
See, I'm picturing more of like they're like putting griffin the great what is a great grandma the yeah great aunt great
Aunt down into the hole and they're all standing around and he's great. Thank you turn sir and just proposes like it's all green
There's flowers like feel like they make the cemetery is really pretty
that would work if
It didn't say that they were in a hall
meaning it's like they're in like a funeral home or like a
church kind of a thing
Like where they're all there. They're gathered to mourn. It's like the
It's the funeral
It's all good that and it smells I'm just picturing sight smell and
Hear all the things. Why are you people crying? Why is it? I don't know why it would smell, but maybe it does
Well, it's not the morgue I
Know have you ever been in a funeral home? I have been to a funeral in a church
No, that's different than a factual going into like a funeral home. Are you thinking like a nursing home?
No, no where people hold funerals in a funeral home. What does it smell like stale?
Yeah, you're thinking you're thinking of a nursing home
No, I've been to a few two funerals in a funeral home and it wasn't at the church
on BS
Well, maybe
Okay, so the smell is significant. Yeah, I'm just I'm just getting a visualization like you know, I'm just really
I'm just there trying to understand why this boyfriend
Would do it then other than the fact that he thinks family's there. So why not do it?
Yeah, well, he knows family's there and it's he's just like this guy has to be so aloof
He has to just be such a dummy. That's so bad. Hmm sitting there. He's full. He's bored. He's like, oh, I
Got the ring on me
Let's get this over with no, it was so planned. There was no just like
Random all of a sudden doing it. You're not bringing a ring unless you're planning
But getting his head out like what is he thinking? He's like, yeah, family's around. So let's just do it
I think maybe he's seeing everyone really sad. He wants to make everyone happy things would cheer up the moment
I think it could be one of those like life short. I can't wait another second before
Like I propose like I can't wait any longer
You could die tomorrow. Like I'm just I don't know
I just he's an idiot and I feel like if I was me and you did that
I would probably be like, okay, yes, but you're gonna redo this get the freak up hide the ring and let's redo that later
Yeah, you'd be like I didn't do my nails
This no, this is the wrong day. Yeah
No, but I think I was just like man this lady died vibes in here sus
I'm alive in this up. I can't believe he did that. That's so wild so wild. So how did it end again remind me?
She said I would say yes, but I didn't think it was the right place or time
I'm wondering if I'm the asshole because I rejected him even though I want to get married
When I asked my co-worker she agreed that what I did was wrong, but I just want some more opinions from people who don't know me
Is there an update or anything like is the husband or if you're out today or boyfriend or ex boyfriend at this point
Is he pissed so there is an edit? Oh full disclosure. This is my first time reading it edit
I'm seeing a lot of comments talking about how we let our parents dictate our lives
So I just want to clarify that we both live on our own and have spent long periods of time at each other's apartments
The only reason we don't live together is out of respect to our parents views
I have a roommate and he doesn't so I spend most of my time at his place. We just don't officially live together
Thank you for all your responses. We're both speaking to each other about everything
We both agree that we should have communicated more about our future together. The situation is progressing
However, I'm reevaluating our relationship and things that have happened recently and in the past
He's adamant about being in the right because he believes that he was trying to cheer everyone up by giving us something to celebrate
Instead of more I do it. I didn't realize how emotionally immature he really is. Yeah, that's such an egg
It's literally what I said, he's like good vibes in here bad like why is everyone so sad?
Like I'm about to turn this be around. Yeah, watch this. Are you watching? I'll make this better
I mean if she's having second thoughts, there's a reason why dump him
That's yeah, this whole thing is like this guy has the emotional intelligence of a peanut and you do not want to marry someone like that
I mean, that's really hard. Yeah, look at I mean you did and look at us. You're right. You're very emotionally intelligent
Jokes she she should probably move on to somebody that's not emotionally like 11
I love that. He's just like yep
The funeral is the time rest in peace Aunt Edna, but we got lives to live
It's crazy. Yeah, talk about missing. Yeah. Yeah, that that was by that's by far the best story of the night
That is keep it missing. I for sure. I would have to agree with you, but you know, the other ones are pretty good, too
I'm impressed Joe. I have no idea which ones to fake. Yeah, you do not I bet you don't
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