1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,820 Well, this is this is big time. This is huge you guys our favorite guests back to join us for some more 2 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,920 Yeah, Tanner and Daniela Goodman 3 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,000 It's cuz I'm hot and sweaty 4 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:22,080 She doesn't actually that's a big 5 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:25,080 She's not done that a long time 6 00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:30,360 I'm surprised she tries hard she threw a candy up in the air and she caught it in her mouth for our podcast listeners 7 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,360 She caught the in our mouth 8 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,120 Sometimes Joan we need to talk like Ila 9 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,800 It does 10 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:54,120 I need to go potty I always say I need to go potty it's fun. Okay. Yeah, we go mr 11 00:00:54,120 --> 00:01:00,240 Goodman dental and good girl aesthetics check them out. What's your what's your app say it right now? 12 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,720 Good girl aesthetics AZ 13 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,080 Let's go 14 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,160 So welcome. We're stoked to have you guys 15 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:14,360 It's time to be here last week. We hit we did the worst Christmas gift of all time. Yeah, who had the fake I 16 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:19,880 Thought it was I can't remember but I I'm gonna say Isaiah 17 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:25,280 Wasn't me. Well, this was the story about getting all the joke gifts for Christmas, right? It was me 18 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,200 Yeah, it was it was me 19 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:41,040 Yep, that was I forgot the ending friends relationship due to a gift. Yes, that's boyfriend was in a picture. Yes 20 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:47,360 The friend gave a photo book like a photo album of her and like her new 21 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:51,400 Friend well, and there's lots of other pictures in there, too 22 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:57,200 But anyways an X showed up amongst those pictures and it was like a whole thing. Yeah, and at the relationship 23 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:04,060 Yeah, but it's fake. So that was good. Not real good fake didn't know never know would never know 24 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,640 this week 25 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:08,640 We have 26 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,680 Ho ho hold my beer 27 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,000 Where the beer is at? 28 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,000 There isn't a fridge chilling 29 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,620 All right, who wants to start oh? 30 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,360 Maybe me. Yeah 31 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:37,440 Well, ho ho hold my beer. I'm excited to hear your stories 32 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,520 And I'm excited to see who's the fake 33 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,520 And I can kind of feel like it's 34 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,840 Not to win this one 35 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:55,280 She's like coming out the gate already pointing fingers like cool cool cool probably not gonna be you got it 36 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,680 Okay, well, I'm excited Joe. Do you want to start you want me to start? Uh, you know what? 37 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,840 I would prefer if I went ahead and started 38 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:11,600 Oh, if that'd be okay. Wow. Sure. I found a gem granted. Thank you 39 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:16,600 Oh 40 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:31,480 Today I effed up by trying to help my neighbor's kid meet Santa 41 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,680 This is my first time posting on this sub 42 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:37,800 I am 29 have always considered myself to be the fun uncle of the family 43 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:41,360 I don't have kids of my own or even a girlfriend for that matter 44 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:45,080 But I love my nieces and nephews and would say I'm kind of a kid at heart last week 45 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:50,880 My neighbor six-year-old daughter Emma told me she really wanted to meet Santa her mom joked if you can make that happen 46 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,640 You'd be your hero. Okay, Emma's mom challenge accepted when I was a kid 47 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:58,520 my stepdad dressed up is in a in the full Santa suit and 48 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:04,480 Came in and rang bells for all the kids to wake up to we went downstairs and did the whole meat meat and greet thing 49 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:09,040 With the worst version of the mall Santa that smelled like curved cologne and fireball 50 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:17,720 All of us kids were either too young to realize it was just my stepdad at the time or threatened to keep the magic for the younger ones 51 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:24,280 I decided I'd one up that jump for my pal Emma. I snagged a cheap Santa costume pillow under my shirt the works 52 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:31,120 Around 11 p.m. I grab a ladder and climb onto their roof. I start lightly stomping and jingling some sleigh bells 53 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,760 I bought off Amazon 54 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:36,000 I'm feeling like a Christmas wizard until I hear Emma yell 55 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:43,800 I hear him followed by the sound of her front door opening panic sets in I freeze trying to figure out what to do then I hear 56 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,800 Emma's dad yelling who's on the roof? 57 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,360 That's when I realized I probably should have given them a heads up. I 58 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,100 Try to quietly crawl toward the ladder 59 00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:59,560 But it's dark and slippery and my adrenaline is firing on all cylinders naturally 60 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:05,920 I lose my footing and thud on my stomach and begin my final descent down the angled roof by the grace of Chris Kringle himself 61 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,320 The only thing in my path leading off the second story roof was their chimney 62 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:16,160 Smash the chimney and come to rest at this point Emma's dad is outside with the flashlight yelling Preston. I see you you moron 63 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:21,080 I'm flailing trying to stand up when I hear the unmistakable sound of police sirens 64 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:28,480 Apparently a neighbor down the street had seen a suspicious figure climbing onto the roof in the middle of the night and called the cops now 65 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:33,120 I'm stuck on the roof in full Santa gear with the flashlight in my eyes and police pulling up to the house 66 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:40,040 Meanwhile Emma is standing in the yard absolutely losing her shit yelling Santa's real. I knew it. I knew it 67 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:45,600 Her dad is trying to explain to the cops that it's just his man-child neighbor with the cops are having none of it 68 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:52,720 They're screaming at me guns drawn making demands like show me your hands and walk backwards to the edge of the roof 69 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,040 Don't ask me how but I didn't get shot 70 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:59,020 I did get handcuffed in the Santa outfit in front of a very confused six-year-old 71 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:04,300 After 20 minutes of combative explanations, thanks officer dick 72 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:07,760 They finally let my neighbor vouch for me and the cops let me go 73 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:13,600 But now Emma's core memory will be of Santa getting arrested her dad won't stop calling me jingle jailbird 74 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:18,960 And I'm pretty sure half the neighbors have ring footage of me sliding down the roof dressed as Santa 75 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:24,500 I'm not sure if I save Christmas or ruined it, but I won't be forgetting this one anytime soon Wow 76 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,000 That's awesome 77 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:34,080 There's no way the cops show them and had their guns out right right. There's a dude dressed as Santa like 78 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,560 Yeah, it's doing Santa out there 79 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,560 I'm just gonna say fires in here. Like wait 80 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,640 Israel 81 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:51,360 I would have been like somebody's somebody's doing something for their kids, you know something like that 82 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:56,320 Yeah, you think yeah, I if you can see that he's in Santa gear like yeah, it's like 83 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,920 Well, the dad instantly knew that it was him 84 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,520 Soon as he's like shine the light on him 85 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:08,800 I'm picturing like you see in the movies where like you can see literally every single part of them 86 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,800 It's like lit up light 87 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,520 Star like if it's actually dark it's just a dude on the roof like who knows 88 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:20,840 It's crazy the story cuz I was telling Joe the other week. I was like I have a great movie idea 89 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,880 He's like I don't want to know and I said no I'm gonna tell you 90 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,480 so I 91 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:32,240 Think there needs to be like a Santa horror movie 92 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:37,920 Like literally like there is so many kids that would be literal like lured in by Santa like 93 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:42,080 Santa coming into a little kids room and she's like 94 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,080 Santa 95 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:51,200 Santa's that you and Santa's like climb in the bag and let's go puts her in takes her 96 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,680 And that's that's his elves that's his that's saying this elves 97 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:01,040 It's came out this year last year. I saw her singing and I hate it 98 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:06,880 Yeah, there's a lot of scary Santa is actually a killer, but he dresses up a Santa and kidnaps 99 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:16,480 It's giving John Wayne Gacy cuz he was like the clown guy. Yeah, he was like and he like it was like his front 100 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:21,240 You know, no, what's like the Norwegian Santa? That's like an evil character. What's his name? 101 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,760 I think it's great 102 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:33,080 Joe I feel like it was a good sir, but it kind of remind me of that vibe 103 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:40,360 Well, it wasn't supposed to give like murdering little kids vibe. I think I I think I know why he's probably still single 104 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,320 Hey by the way, I'll be on your roof tonight 105 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:58,960 I know he probably forgets on the first date to tell her even like where to go and be yeah, but his plan is like I live with 106 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,960 My mom and I'm 48 107 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,520 29 oh 108 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,640 You made that 109 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,520 We don't know if he lives with his mom 110 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:15,600 I thought 111 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,480 He said that the neighbors he had to talk to the neighbors 112 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:26,040 He didn't I when I read this I definitely thought that he like was just a guy just an adult guy that lives on his own 113 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,040 I'm like 114 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:35,400 No, he just gave the preface like I like like I'm like cool kids. I like yeah, I'm the fun uncle 115 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,560 He's a man child. Yeah, but he's responsible enough to own his own home 116 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:43,520 He's not responsible enough to tell his neighbors gonna get on his roof. Yes 117 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:48,480 I'm in the middle of the night. Yeah, it was like I think it said 11 p.m. Oh my gosh 118 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:52,840 Is there like an update or anything? No update, but I'll tell you the best comment 119 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:59,800 Okay, nothing screams holiday spirit like getting cuffed in a Santa Sue while a six-year-old cheers you on truly the Christmas miracle 120 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,800 We all deserve 121 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:06,400 Wow, just wrap that up a little bow 1.6 K up likes 122 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:12,560 Yeah, like this is not even afraid of the cops. Let's go Santa. You're so cool 123 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:21,720 End up in jail and Christmas chronicles even in a Santa Claus. He goes to jail. Yeah. Yeah, he does 124 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:26,520 Yeah, literally he falls off the roof too. He kills Santa because he scares him 125 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,200 So if you ever 126 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:36,800 Yeah, that is you see the new Jack Black movie where he's not 127 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,200 The kid accidentally like he 128 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,760 Doesn't know how to spell and so he I don't know that means he's just like say 129 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,640 Santa you write 130 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,720 And he sends the letter 131 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:55,000 And then Jack Black is the Satan and then he goes and like he's like what do you want? 132 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,320 It looks funny 133 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:03,280 Because then it's about how Satan can't break this kid like this kid is just so good 134 00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,680 Bring the Doritos 135 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,160 Cool ranch to please cool ranch raise your hand 136 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,600 Whoa, so the man nacho cheese 137 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:25,880 Not cheese really cheese is like I love ranch, but I would say I would rather eat so men like cool ranch women like nacho cheese 138 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,240 I would demolish those mother 139 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,880 Okay, winners 140 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,320 Oh my 141 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:47,960 Oh, he wrote he wrote the intro. Yes, why did okay? 142 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:54,040 We miss that you guys this is Tanner in the flesh that literally created our 143 00:11:54,040 --> 00:12:04,960 Our internet, but that's kind of it. My voice is gone 144 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:18,880 Okay, wait you're up saddle up because this story is gonna take you on a wild ride 145 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:27,880 Every year my family goes on our annual Fourth of July trip to Sholo and I always bring a friend with me my best friend 146 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:33,080 Kennedy and I were seniors in high school at the time and she'd be coming with me on this trip for years 147 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,320 She'd be coming with me 148 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:46,520 This particular year we decided to book a horseback riding trail together and my older sister Macy joined us 149 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:50,080 My mom put the ride thinking it would be a fun adventure 150 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:56,520 She drove us to the horseback riding place and when we arrived my sister Kennedy and I got out of the car out of the barn 151 00:12:56,520 --> 00:13:02,000 Came this older homeless-looking man alongside the owner who was a woman the owner asked okay 152 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,400 Who here is the best at riding horses? 153 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:10,360 Of course, I didn't raise my hand because I've learned the hard way that saying you've ridden horses before often gets you the most 154 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:15,320 Difficult horse unfortunately my sister Macy decided to speak up saying oh, she's the best 155 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:22,160 So I was assigned the biggest black horse named midnight who was quite the character 156 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:26,560 My best friend who had never been horseback riding in her life was given the smallest horse 157 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:32,600 While my postpartum sister four months out from having her baby was assigned a medium sized horse 158 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:37,760 We mounted our horses and the owner announced that Jim the old man would be taking us on our trail ride 159 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:43,560 She told my mom it'll be an hour and you could pick them up here after my mom hesitated for a second 160 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,280 It's uneasy about leaving three girls with a stranger in the woods 161 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:51,480 But eventually pushed aside the feeling and drove back to the resort. What's the worst you could happen? The resort in solo? 162 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,480 What's that? Torian 163 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:59,400 Okay, at first everything seemed fine. We chatted with Jim here and there, but I didn't like his vibe 164 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,800 He seemed overly flirty with my sister, which made me uncomfortable 165 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,880 The only good thing about Jim was that he wasn't stripped like most trail ride guides 166 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:11,160 Usually they have a bunch of rules no galloping no going off trail, etc 167 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:18,400 But Jim was the opposite he encouraged us to go off trail take photos and even run the horses a little at one point 168 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,160 Jim decided to take us to a scenic spot for photos 169 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,160 We agreed thinking it sounded fun 170 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:27,960 But little did we know this detour would completely take us off the trail after the photos 171 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,960 We started heading back or so we thought 172 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:33,000 Time dragged on and I noticed Jim was getting frantic 173 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:37,680 He kept looking around nervously and checking his phone, but there was no signal. I checked my phone, too 174 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:43,280 Nothing. That's when I realized we were lost and we were already 30 minutes late getting back 175 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:49,240 At first my sister didn't notice anything still chatting away and Kennedy was just happy to still be alive on her horse 176 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,040 Meanwhile, my horse was getting increasingly irritated 177 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:57,760 Midnight kept nipping at my sister's horse causing it to buck which terrified me 178 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:02,720 Then Jim started leading us down steep treacherous paths where we had to guide our horses sideways 179 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:09,280 I was absolutely terrified and pissed off. I asked Jim if I could get off and walk my horse because I felt unsafe 180 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:12,360 But he yelled at me to stay on and insisted I'd be fine 181 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:18,760 My frustration grew my horse was acting up and my friend who had no experience writing looked completely overwhelmed 182 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,880 Finally after two hours of wandering Jim admitted he was lost 183 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,200 Panic set in to make matters worse. It started pouring rain 184 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,800 We were soaked freezing and wearing summer clothes 185 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:34,680 My sister who was still breastfeeding was in agony because her chest was full of milk and sore from the bumpy ride 186 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,080 She was 187 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,360 Jim could 188 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,880 Jim's goal is like the sale for these puppies can get 189 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:56,720 She was completely drenched from leaking 190 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:14,520 As if that wasn't enough Kennedy whispered to me I'm bleeding through she was on her period and I'm completely 191 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,520 I 192 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,760 Think that could go 193 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:26,040 And then completely bled through her pants and the saddle there was blood all over the saddle 194 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:30,960 She ended up taking off her sports bra to use as a makeshift pad 195 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:38,000 She literally took the sports bra off. No gym was in front then it was the sister then it was me. I mean 196 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:45,020 So now we had my soaked postpartum sister my friend bleeding everywhere and me 197 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,920 Trying not to get bucked off my angry horse 198 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:52,280 After eight and a half hours of being lost 199 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:58,200 We finally found a side road and were able to contact someone we were miles from the barn 200 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:08,960 The manager came to pick us up in an old beat-up truck with blankets and we were absolutely frozen drenched and sore and bloody 201 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,960 Yeah 202 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:17,040 Yeah, what's that thing that happens in like 20 minutes if you don't let them out. What do you get? Oh 203 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,520 Mestitis yeah, yeah 204 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:23,400 When we got back my mom and family were waiting worried sick 205 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:30,560 I still can't believe they didn't call the police or send out a search party. They just trusted the one manager to find us 206 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:35,680 Needless to say we survived, but we have never been horseback riding again 207 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:41,960 Okay, but like does it every horse know its way home like isn't that a known thing midnight? 208 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,160 Didn't this isn't I'm like, yep 209 00:17:44,160 --> 00:18:12,640 Oh, I was just gonna say so this story is a true story and this happened to me and my sister and 210 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:16,640 And 10 Z yep, and so what happened literally was 211 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:24,880 She's in front my sister then me and then Kenzie was kind of like off to the side my horse hated my sister's horse 212 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:30,240 Hated it so it was getting so irritated like literally 30 minutes into this trail ride 213 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:34,740 We were out there for eight and a half hours and our guide didn't let us get off our horse once 214 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:40,120 He was screaming at me because I I was the meanest out of all the girls 215 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,120 Towards like how old are you? 216 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,800 We're seniors in high school 217 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:50,060 And my sister was I don't know maybe 24 25 at that point 218 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:58,200 Nope, we probably just peed on the saddle. That's probably what Kenzie did. I didn't I didn't have to but literally 219 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:02,280 We did not get off the horse until we finally found a side road 220 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:07,440 And we all got off and he was just smoking a cigarette like literally three of them waiting 221 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,040 for the man no 222 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:21,920 This happens all the time wrong turn again damn it 223 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:37,880 I just never forget looking over at my friend and her just being like 224 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:39,880 I was so pissed the entire night 225 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:53,160 And I kept yelling Jim I need to get off this effing horse like I was so mad but 226 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:57,120 She's and Kenzie's just like the sweetest human ever and she's just like 227 00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:04,360 I'm gonna take off my sports bra okay 228 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:09,680 She's like this and then she took it off while she's on the horse 229 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:16,160 Just another example of men and women are not the same 230 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:24,520 I'm yoga pants on she's like 231 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,520 She's like all's well 232 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,520 And I'm like 233 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:32,120 Okay, like and I told Kenzie later on I was like dude 234 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,720 I didn't give a crap about anyone but myself at that point 235 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,560 I was trying not to die 236 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,600 Everyone sitting for themselves 237 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,840 Yes, it was horrible news article 238 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,840 And we get lost 239 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:50,040 I was so upset that this did see this is my chance to shine with this story 240 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:54,960 like offer you any compensation they gave it my mom and dad the horseback 241 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:58,360 Yeah, the money back and they had to fight for it my mom had to fight for it 242 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:05,040 Yeah, so we finally get to our way to this like end of the road like we find a side road or number 243 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:08,920 And it's like a dirt road. We're on miles and miles and miles off the 244 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:15,720 Off the trail or like the barn. I wish I would have remembered but it was so far like so far and 245 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:22,960 So we finally find the side of the road and then Jim's okay girls. We all can get off. So we're all 246 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,880 Girls go ahead 247 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,720 So we all like 248 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:41,320 Getting off remember and Kenzie's like trying to like wipe the saddle, you know, so we get off and we literally all three of us 249 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,600 It just hugged each other and we were shivering the whole time like we are so so cold 250 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:50,320 Or we're just holding just shivering and we're just under these trees and we had to wait 251 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,720 I think it was like a good 20 minutes 252 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:58,240 For her to drive from the bar actually it might have been longer than that drive from the barn to come get us 253 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:04,040 And we like get in the back and we don't know either of these people like this is like 254 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:08,160 Where's the cops? Where's where's the search party like where is 255 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:14,440 Where's our family you guys are all just out having a good old time and Tori on and we're dying 256 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:20,280 100% I don't know my dad knew until we got home like so how's your day? 257 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,920 Cool. Oh, yeah, we almost died 258 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:28,520 But there was a point it was about like three hours in where we were just going on this crazy trail having 259 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,160 having to literally go down this 260 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:37,560 Hill that's going straight down. We had to literally take our I don't know if any of you have seen this or done this 261 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,680 Take your horses down sideways because they will literally flip 262 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,720 So we're Kenzie's never ridden the horse in her life 263 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:46,560 and 264 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,560 And she's bleeding out 265 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:55,080 And bless her heart. She was like, I don't know. I was like, I don't know then I'm just trying to go like literally leave her 266 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,480 Trying to do this. Thankfully the horses kind of knew what they were doing at that point, but 267 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,600 Damn Jim 268 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,240 But there was a point in this 269 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:15,480 Experience where I was like this man is taking us to his abandoned cabin or like his cabin where he is going to hurt us 270 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,920 Like we would have been screwed. Yeah 271 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,920 Midnight safety! 272 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,920 Yeah! 273 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,920 Yeah! 274 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:29,000 I might have had the fake and lied to you this whole time you guys or this could be a true story 275 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:35,160 But I am here I have survived to tell a tale 276 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,040 Yee-haw 277 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,840 I'm gonna be reading from today. I asked up 278 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:42,960 the title is 279 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,720 Letting my mom use my butthole Vaseline 280 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:46,720 Oh! 281 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:49,360 Okay, wait 282 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:53,360 How long have we all had a Vaseline? 283 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:58,480 All right, actually I actually I do have a tub. Let's go. I have one 284 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:05,640 I have aqua fort and Vaseline different ones for different equations, but let's go 285 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,640 You don't like the poop bop or boop 286 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,280 Sometimes you just in a 287 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:13,280 shower it off. I bidet in the shower 288 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,280 I'll be in the bathroom 289 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:20,160 Mine's from like sweating, golfing like having the golf bag on it 290 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:26,000 So this happened a while ago, but I almost busted a lung relieving it today or reliving it today 291 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:30,000 I told you not to do that! I told you not to do that! 292 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000 Relieving? 293 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,000 What were you busting again? 294 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:38,000 Butthole Vaseline and busting! Go! 295 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000 Let's do it again! 296 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:46,000 So this happened a while ago, but I almost busted a lung reliving it today 297 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,000 I hope I'm not breaking any rules 298 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:52,000 When I was in university, I was a division one water polo player 299 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:58,000 This means we have tight swimsuits that are singular panel with no smaller straps than someone might hold onto 300 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:02,000 Basically completely covered from neck to panty line, front and back 301 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:06,000 These swimsuits are extremely tight and zip up in the back 302 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:12,000 We often had to do long swim sets wearing water polo suits instead of normal swimsuits or do get out drills 303 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:16,000 Where we would swim, pull ourselves out of the water and do some exercise on land 304 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000 Burpees 305 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:22,000 I have extremely sensitive skin, so my water polo suit would chafe my skin horribly 306 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:26,000 Basically creating burns where the suit rubbed against my skin 307 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:32,000 I would get burns from swimming long distance and it zipped, unzip it, and get burns in a V pattern where the zipper sat 308 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:38,000 Water polo suits also ride up like a wedgie giving me chafed burns in my butt crack 309 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:50,000 My doctor recommended that I try applying Vaseline to reduce the friction 310 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:56,000 Which I did basically every day, therefore I had a quart 2 pint size tub of Vaseline 311 00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:00,000 When I was moving out of my apartment, my parents came to help me out 312 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:06,000 I was packing up my stuff when I turn around and see my mom holding the tub of Vaseline rubbing her lips together 313 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,000 How you do when you apply chafstick 314 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,000 She's like a dog 315 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:20,000 She just sees a giant tub of Vaseline and is like, oh yes, you 316 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000 I do that all the time 317 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:28,000 But not your daughters, you're like moving there and you're just like, oh my gosh 318 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:32,000 The look on my face must have been utter shock and horror 319 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000 She goes, what? 320 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,000 And I burst out laughing 321 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:40,000 I tell her that's my water polo Vaseline that I rub all over my body 322 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,000 It's not for lips 323 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:46,000 I didn't mention exactly what unmentionables I'd applied it to 324 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:52,000 I'm not an animal, it's not like I was double dipping, but these burns were crazy painful 325 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:56,000 And I can't be totally sure I didn't say screw it some days and double dip 326 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,000 Double dip 327 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,000 Yeah 328 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,000 One dip isn't enough 329 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000 Enough for a bowl 330 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,000 A little bit more 331 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:14,000 Okay, you are right, I did double dip, but I tried not to 332 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,000 Oh, it's true, it's okay 333 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:28,000 I'm gonna jump into a lot of heavily chlorinated water about 30 seconds later, so I figured sanitation wise it was whatever 334 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:32,000 Real water sport athletes pee in the pool constantly, sorry, but it's true 335 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000 I don't know why that happens 336 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,000 I'm not even an athlete, I'm not a dootere 337 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:40,000 Today while visiting for Christmas, my mom offered me some Vaseline for my lips 338 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:44,000 From a normal size container that lives in her medicine cabinet 339 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:48,000 And I said, you don't use this one for your butthole, right? 340 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:54,000 And she said, I never told her exactly what I used it for, but it's been almost 10 years and she's fine, so whatever 341 00:27:54,000 --> 00:28:04,000 Anyway, I think we both have more core memories of each other's faces on that day, her innocently rubbing her lips together and me wide-eyed in panic 342 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,000 That's so good 343 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,000 Do you guys want to hear a funny comment? 344 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,000 Yeah, I'd love to 345 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:16,000 Okay, reminds me of the time my granny put some kind of tingling lube on her lips thinking it was chapstick lol 346 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:20,000 My cousin got it as like a novelty gift and left it somewhere random 347 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,000 Granny asked if she could use the chapstick 348 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,000 Cousin said, sure, from the living room 349 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:30,000 Next thing we know, my grandma was walking in the room, popping her lips saying they feel funny and asking what kind of chapstick it was 350 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:38,000 Holding it up in front of the whole family, my cousin got a lesson in putting shit like that in the drawer from that day on lol 351 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000 It was like a lube 352 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:45,000 My sister, grandma used to not have, she didn't have teeth like the last few years of her life 353 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:49,000 She would suck the salt off the pretzels and then put them back 354 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:55,000 And then Carly comes around and is like, hmmm pretzels and she's like, these are so bland 355 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:59,000 They're kind of soft and then she realizes, these are grandma's pretzels 356 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,000 Sucked on pretzels 357 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,000 I would throw up 358 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,000 I would literally die 359 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,000 She was old, like this was like right before grandma died 360 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,000 I'm not agreeing, I'm right off 361 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:15,000 Grandma, I didn't see her laughing years and she was laughing her head off 362 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,000 Well then, thank you Carly for that 363 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:21,000 Thank you Carly for sucking on grandma's sucked on pretzels 364 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:25,000 I went up for a dance in Sholo before I lived there 365 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:29,000 And I forgot to brush my teeth before I drove up there 366 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:33,000 So before my date for the school homecoming 367 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,000 I was like, oh my gosh, I need to brush my teeth 368 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000 So I was like, Chase, I need to use your bathroom 369 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:41,000 So I went peed and I was like, oh my gosh, Chase's toothbrush 370 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:45,000 So I used Chase's toothbrush to brush my teeth 371 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:49,000 And then I never told them 372 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,000 So like a year later when I'm living with him, I'm like, hey bro, like I want to tell you something 373 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:57,000 I had to tell you this, a year ago I used your toothbrush 374 00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:01,000 And he still was using it till that day 375 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,000 It's not that bad 376 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,000 That's nasty 377 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,000 Chase was a Paul 378 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,000 Chase was for reeking out 379 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:13,000 Okay, but that's like your family, you guys are germaphones 380 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:17,000 I wouldn't care, I'd be like, cool, you can use that toothbrush, whatever you want 381 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,000 I just wash it off 382 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,000 I agree 383 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,000 That's your family though 384 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,000 This is so funny 385 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:29,000 I think people wash their chicken with dish soap 386 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,000 But Dawn, like to wash their chicken 387 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,000 Who does that? 388 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000 People wash ducks 389 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000 People wash their chicken with soap? 390 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,000 Yes, like scrubbed it 391 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,000 I thought that was just scrubbing 392 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,000 I don't know if that was, yeah 393 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,000 I thought that was on like the father of the bride 394 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,000 Didn't they do that on that one? 395 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,000 Oh did they? I don't know 396 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,000 It was a movie though 397 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,000 So this is from Am I the Asshole 398 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:59,000 And it's Am I the Asshole for telling my mother-in-law not to place her own gift tags on Christmas presents I ordered for my children 399 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:04,000 So basically I ordered all my children's Christmas presents online to be sent to my in-laws home 400 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,000 As we were spending Christmas there this year 401 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,000 My mother-in-law said that she didn't mind wrapping them all up before we got there 402 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,000 We arrived here yesterday and all was well 403 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,000 After the kids got settled in their room 404 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,000 I got a chance to ask her about the presents 405 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:20,000 She told me that she mostly all wrapped with just a couple she needed to finish off 406 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,000 They were stored in the basement 407 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,000 I did ask if she needed a hand finishing the rest off 408 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:27,000 But she just insisted that she would finish the rest after our journey 409 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,000 So I rejoined my husband in the sitting room 410 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,000 A couple hours later she had gone to take a nap 411 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,000 So I went down to their basement to see how many had been wrapped 412 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,000 Like she had said there were some still left to wrap 413 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,000 But as I was checking some of the bigger presents 414 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,000 I noticed that they already had gift tags taped to them 415 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,000 And when I flipped the tags they read from Grandma 416 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,000 Not just one but all of the bigger ones 417 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000 So I immediately went and told my husband about what I just found 418 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:58,000 And he said that his mom had asked if she could put a few of her tags on 419 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,000 As she didn't want to disappoint her grandson 420 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,000 My husband agreed that she could 421 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,000 And told me that it isn't a big deal 422 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,000 And that it's the only time we'll be spending Christmas over it there 423 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,000 As we live four hours away 424 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:16,000 I'm mad that most of the bigger presents are things that I had pre-ordered for a long time 425 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,000 And put a lot of thought into 426 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,000 And have some toys personalized with their name 427 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,000 Which costed a lot of money 428 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,000 Anyways, my mother-in-law came back downstairs from her nap 429 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,000 So I basically told her that I don't think it's right 430 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,000 For her to just do without asking me also 431 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,000 She got super upset and told me that I am being selfish 432 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:38,000 And tried to guilt-trip me saying that this could be one of the last Christmas's she will ever have 433 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,000 She's old but not that old 434 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,000 She's 71 435 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,000 She told me that I'm ruining Christmas already 436 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:48,000 I don't know, I'm trying my best to appear as nothing is wrong around my kids 437 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,000 I do feel bad and that I maybe have overreacted 438 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,000 I don't know what to do, should I leave her tags on and apologize 439 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,000 Or put my own tags on and tell her she should have bought more 440 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,000 This is turning into a nightmare 441 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:04,000 You're a grandma, you buy your grandkids like with our mom 442 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000 You'll never have to worry about that 443 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:09,000 As the mom, would you be upset? 444 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,000 Yeah, 100% 445 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:14,000 I'd be like, oh no, I got my kids this, I'm gonna put my name on there 446 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,000 I'd be pissed as the dad 447 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,000 I'd be so mad at my husband, why did you think that was okay? 448 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,000 But also I would feel like less than learned 449 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:24,000 Don't send the gifts, I'm gonna have to do it myself and wrap them and talk to myself 450 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,000 Well, they're coming from out of state 451 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,000 And they don't travel with the big gifts 452 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,000 This is four hours 453 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,000 Yeah, I think that's really not that bad 454 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,000 But then they got to take two cars 455 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,000 But they were going to their parents, they were guests 456 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,000 It wasn't like the parents' childhood, they were home and right 457 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,000 We couldn't get presents here 458 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,000 Right 459 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,000 It was the other way around 460 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,000 Yeah, so grandma should have gotten her own freaking gifts 461 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,000 Go to the dollar store, grandma 462 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,000 I went the other day and there wasn't good stuff 463 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,000 I was disappointed 464 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,000 And they jacked the prices up 465 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,000 It's like the $2 store 466 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,000 It's like, Joe, you're getting dollar store gifts 467 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,000 Oh yeah, dope, I trust me, I know 468 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,000 And they freaking, I'll have like a $5 section 469 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,000 And of course that's the section my kid wants to go 470 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,000 Like why am I at Dollar Tree? 471 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000 You're at the $5 tree 472 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,000 Hey, may I? 473 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,000 What? 474 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,000 May I contribute? 475 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,000 Absolutely 476 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:20,000 So there's an easy solution here 477 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,000 Obviously you wouldn't have known beforehand 478 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,000 But I just was putting myself in this scenario 479 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,000 Grandma's poor, she can't afford the gifts for the kids 480 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,000 Like you get out in front of it and say 481 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,000 Grandma, I'm going to send you a $200 Visa gift card 482 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:38,000 Go crazy, like buy gifts for our kids 483 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,000 They're from you 484 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000 But go put in the work 485 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,000 You don't get to just take the cool stuff we bought our kids 486 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000 And save it from grandma's poor 487 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,000 Yeah, that's what it said 488 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:49,000 Where's the grandpa? 489 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,000 Oh, it did say grandma's poor? 490 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,000 What did it say? 491 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,000 It said that she... 492 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,000 It didn't necessarily say that 493 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:57,000 She just said that his mom had asked if she could put a few of her tags on 494 00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:00,000 As she didn't want to disappoint her grandsons 495 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,000 My husband agreed that she couldn't tell me that it was a big deal 496 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,000 If the husband already knew, he should have been like, heads up 497 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,000 I would have given you presents 498 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:09,000 Take the little ones 499 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,000 So then I would have prepared like, here grandma 500 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,000 And for her? 501 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,000 I bought that for you 502 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:18,000 I know, and you can't do that without asking first 503 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,000 Like I'm just going to put my name on this tag 504 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:23,000 Well, she did ask the son, the son's just dumb 505 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,000 Oh, and the son being tossed and alive 506 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,000 Yeah, that makes sense 507 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000 Well, the grandma's smart for asking the husband 508 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000 For asking her own son 509 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,000 Well, duh 510 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:34,000 I would want her to pick them so it's like more meaningful 511 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,000 And like you want to give them gifts 512 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,000 Like get out there and pick them yourself 513 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000 You're not just like taking them 514 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,000 You're not just inheriting them 515 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,000 Like that's like lazy and like pity party 516 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,000 No, I'm not here for the pity party 517 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,000 Here's a hotter box, go get a couple gifts 518 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,000 Exactly 519 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,000 We don't even know if she's poor 520 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,000 But I mean like 521 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,000 Yeah, and if you're just assuming that's probably what she's like 522 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,000 What if it's two last minutes? 523 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,000 Like isn't this on Christmas Eve? 524 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,000 This is all hot 525 00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,000 Sounds like it 526 00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,000 How's she gonna have time to go get it on the go? 527 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,000 Well then grandma needs to stop doing what I do 528 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,000 And wait till Christmas Eve 529 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,000 Exactly 530 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,000 Christmas is the same day every year 531 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,000 Grandma 532 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,000 You gotta just get ahead of this thing 533 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,000 No, it's coming 534 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,000 Grandma 535 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,000 Save yourself security, grandma 536 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,000 I'm freaking out to get some presents 537 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,000 You're 28,000 a year 538 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,000 You can't spend 200, come on 539 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,000 Oh poor grandma 540 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,000 She just wants to feel special 541 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,000 She doesn't want to feel special 542 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,000 But like I bought those and I want to be special 543 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,000 Especially cause like the mom put in the work 544 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,000 She said it was like personalized 545 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,000 And she had some special gifts in there 546 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,000 I would definitely, yeah customize 547 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,000 I would definitely want that to be like 548 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,000 This is for mommy or daddy 549 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:42,000 Or Santa Claus 550 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,000 Or Santa 551 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,000 Yeah that's the thing 552 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,000 What about him? 553 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,000 What about Santa? 554 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,000 Would you rather give the grandma or some magical 555 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:50,000 Man on the list? 556 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,000 No 557 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,000 Oh my good presents came from my parents 558 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:55,000 My stalking 559 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,000 Really good presents from parents 560 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,000 No way 561 00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,000 My moral from Santa 562 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:00,000 What an episode 563 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,000 What? 564 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,000 Grandma's stealing the gifts 565 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,000 Yeah grandma's stealing the gifts 566 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,000 He was Vaseline in her butt cheeks 567 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,000 On her lip cheeks 568 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,000 You were 569 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:12,000 Whitney's was the period booby horse 570 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:16,000 And Jo's was the 571 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,000 What was Jo's? 572 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,000 What was Jo's? 573 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,000 Santa caught on the roof 574 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,000 Oh yeah 575 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,000 Preston 576 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,000 Vanchise 577 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,000 Preston, yes 578 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,000 What are you guys saying? 579 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,000 Preston what the heck? 580 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,000 I think Jo's is fake 581 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,000 Jo's is fake 582 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:31,000 I even think it's Jo 583 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,000 Or I think Isaiah 584 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,000 Because Isaiah's was so freakin funny 585 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,000 I can't see that happening 586 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,000 I think it could be Whitney 587 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:38,000 Thanks guys for hanging out 588 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,000 Watching, listening, love ya 589 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,000 Hello to you 590 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,000 Hey internet friends, you're on 3 591 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,000 1, 2, 3 592 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,000 I love you 593 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,000 Love you guys 594 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:58,000 See you next week