1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,560 Welcome back been a minute 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,040 No episode last week 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:10,400 We missed you guys, but we're back, but we out here 4 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:16,060 Let's follow up on our friends giving episode. That was a that was a fun one who had the fake 5 00:00:16,060 --> 00:00:19,080 We had the bathroom blowout that ended a relationship 6 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,080 Oh 7 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,400 That 8 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,360 That is what it is. Okay, so there's that one 9 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:34,900 Then we also had the the guy that didn't invite his cousin with the with no parents 10 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:39,380 The friends giving really sounded like Thanksgiving, but whatever and then 11 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:47,160 Boyfriend steals friends giving yours was the yours was the guy that said that his his kink is consent 12 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,160 Oh, yeah, that was like 13 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,700 I'm excited to post that one on social media 14 00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:56,640 Do you guys just love that we have to have this little little spiel this 15 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:03,360 I'll like come to Jesus moment about what we did last week and we record things early on so we kind of forget 16 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:09,480 Yeah, this was two weeks ago. We filmed that one. Okay, sorry about that guys, but let's talk about who had the fake who do you guys think I 17 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,120 Think the poop story 18 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:19,600 I hope that's me. I do think it was the girl with the vase in the toilet. Yeah 19 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:27,440 She's my friend. You did that first story. It was me. No, I'm kidding. Oh my gosh. I'm kidding. No, it was totally fake and 20 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,160 I hope I tricked you all 21 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:40,160 Hey, well, I'm really excited for this week's episode. It's so good. This is true 22 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:45,160 I'm so trendy 23 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,160 One click no pretending 24 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,880 Because it's the holidays 25 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:03,840 This is inspired by our daughter honestly. Oh, okay. She's just been little miss. She's been she's been into 26 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:09,840 The the the green 27 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,720 Grinch the green 28 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,800 I love her. Yeah, so the title for this week is 29 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,440 The Grinch of the friend group. Oh 30 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:27,440 Let's let's bring the heat on that one friend. Who's gonna start us off. Who's got the best Grinch of the friend? 31 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:33,400 Sorry, I'm just a friend group at the camera like the cameras pointed on you 32 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,320 Well, the cameras pointed on me rightfully so so all the first 33 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,280 My story is pretty short and it's about to blow your mind 34 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:52,400 Okay, okay, here we go. Am I the asshole for blocking my best friend after she freaked out over a selfie 35 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,840 I sent her boyfriend. Oh no 36 00:02:55,840 --> 00:03:01,960 Mia and I have been best friends forever. So when her boyfriend Jake messaged me, I didn't think anything of it 37 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:06,160 He said he was working on a birthday project for her and asked me to send a selfie for it 38 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,640 I thought it was a little random, but it seemed harmless 39 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:13,480 So I just sent him the picture the next day Mia called me absolutely losing it 40 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:19,400 Why would you send Jake a selfie of yourself? She yelled I was so confused and told her it was for her birthday 41 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:25,360 But she didn't care. She said it was inappropriate and started accusing me of going behind her back and crossing boundaries 42 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:29,600 I tried explaining over and over but she just kept yelling and wouldn't listen to a word 43 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,920 I said by the end of the day 44 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:35,680 I'd had enough I blocked her because I couldn't handle the constant texts accusing me of things 45 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:40,720 I didn't even do now. I feel guilty like maybe I made things worse, but at the same time 46 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,120 I don't think I deserve to be treated like that. So am I the hassle? 47 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,320 Please do that again 48 00:03:47,320 --> 00:04:03,800 Am I the hassle? Am I the hassle? Please tell me. Am I? I can't believe. I don't think so. I know. Yeah, I don't think so either 49 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:10,520 Initially when I heard I was like, oh yeah. Yeah, like the title kind of like played me a little bit because when it talks about the actual story 50 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:17,000 Well, why is it the boyfriend being like for a selfie of her? Right? 51 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,960 How do we feel about that? 52 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:25,160 How do we feel about the text messages that she probably would have already read? It's like, hey, I'm doing something for her birthday 53 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,520 Like if anything be mad at the boyfriend, yeah, I don't know 54 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:34,720 How did she not see that on like the text thread if he's asked like if Joe was like, hey, can you send me a selfie? 55 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,040 Right Whitney's birthday project. I'm doing it. Which weird. Why are we doing that anyway? 56 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,040 Yeah, that's so 57 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,040 Talk to me 58 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,800 My thought was what is he doing right the picture? 59 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:52,960 What birthday project like is he making a giant cut off? Yeah, like a vision board 60 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:59,560 Is he like making a collage of her friends and framing it? I don't know. It's right. It's a weird. It's a weird birthday 61 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,880 Thing anyway, and I don't even know what it is, right? 62 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:07,360 If anything it should be like send me a picture of like your favorite picture of you and her 63 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:11,680 Yeah, I mean, we obviously don't know what he's doing what his vision is but 64 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:17,040 Is there any like anything in the comments like an update or like so here's a 65 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:23,320 Interesting take let me know you guys feel about this and it kind of goes down a little bit duck at that's their name 66 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:30,000 Not the asshole your friend needs to grow up leaving her boyfriend who most likely explained everything was all it took if her 67 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,240 Insecurities with them spilled over you and didn't believe you either 68 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:39,400 Maybe she's not that good of a friend as you thought Kyra lean said exactly if she can't even trust you over something 69 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:44,080 So minor that says more about her insecurities than your actions. You didn't deserve the drama 70 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:50,880 Here's what I'm thinking is obviously there was something in their relationship to make the girlfriend question things or a 71 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:59,040 Past relationship where she was cheated on maybe with a friend maybe with someone that she knew like there had to have been something that was triggering her 72 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:00,720 in 73 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:09,440 That situation now as your friend as your friend are you willing to like let it go and be like, you know what like you were triggered? 74 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,080 Like I get it. I'm sorry. There was nothing there 75 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,120 I get it if you need space for me and like I'm cool with that 76 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,840 But like to block her and just be like screw you like you obviously don't trust me 77 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:24,640 So I don't want to be friends with you anymore. Like what do you think's the right decision? 78 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:29,200 I don't know that that's why she bought she's she was just like sick of being like accused of all this stuff 79 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:34,640 And it sounds like the friend was not gonna stop. She obviously did not believe for the boyfriend didn't believe her, right? 80 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:39,600 So, I mean, I would be like so over it. I'm like I literally did nothing 81 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:45,760 Yeah, and she just like wouldn't stop like accusing her of all this stuff and so it's like I don't think it was like 82 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:51,760 Oh, well, screw you. I think she was like, okay, you need to chill out and stop my thought is what if he got caught? 83 00:06:51,760 --> 00:07:00,200 Like with this picture and she was like, why do you have that and then he lied and said she just sent it to me 84 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:06,080 Like accusing her to get off her like the birthday surprise 85 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:10,760 Yeah, because obviously the girl wasn't buying this birthday surprise 86 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,720 Because he would have told her that and showed them showed the text 87 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,400 But he probably like 88 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:22,840 Just saved the birthday surprise but maybe deleted the messages so she wouldn't see yeah 89 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:28,680 But like had the picture but kept the picture blew it up put it on this bedroom door something but she found it 90 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:34,040 Yeah, I feel like all she had to do was call and be like why did you send a picture? 91 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,440 Yeah, and then be like, okay, both stories are aligning. Who cares now? Yeah 92 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:44,400 But someone I think both now the boyfriend lied about it boyfriend probably did lie about it 93 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:48,320 I would love to know what the gift was like what's this project seriously? 94 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:53,040 Well like for my birthday, I don't want a picture of my friend selfie. That's obvious 95 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:58,800 Like even if it wasn't a vision board it's like yeah, literally. I don't know. I don't know what the dude was doing 96 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:02,080 It's yeah, do we trust that do we trust the boy toy? 97 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,000 But hold on before we get to that 98 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,280 Let me just say it's a good lesson in just human communication 99 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:11,280 You bring up a good point like we don't we don't really know what that 100 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,120 interaction was like 101 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:17,120 But if if let's say she's her feelings are getting escalated 102 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,720 He's lying because he wants to save the birthday surprise at a certain point 103 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:26,160 What you do in that situation is you just tell her you say this is what happened. I was doing this for your birthday 104 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,240 I think it's a dumb gift probably but 105 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:32,480 Whatever it was probably was gonna suck like yeah, you messed up there guy 106 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:37,920 But that's like that would have stopped the chaos if again hypothetically if that's the right thing 107 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:44,000 And also for the girl that's freaking out like in a worst-case scenario you still have to communicate 108 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:49,360 You still have to use your words and find out exactly what was going on before you just fly off the rails 109 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:55,040 As far as communication is concerned the girl that was raging and like blowing her friend up blowing op up 110 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:59,200 Like that's that's not how you act in the situation 111 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:04,960 Communicate air on the side of like make dang sure what is going on before you just again fly off the rails 112 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:10,320 Totally am I the asshole for cutting off my friend because he keeps trying to change plans at the last minute 113 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:15,200 I am 29 recently ended a 10-year friendship with my friend Morgan m27 114 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,720 And i'm honestly questioning if I overreacted for as long as i've known Morgan 115 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:23,280 He's been the type of person who can't stick to plans if a group of us decides to go to a certain restaurant 116 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:28,080 He'll text a few hours before saying he's not feeling it and suggest somewhere else if we're heading to a bar 117 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:33,760 He'll send a hey actually this other place looks better message as we're en route. It's not just once in a while 118 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:38,160 It's every time i've always tried to be understanding life happens people have preferences 119 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,120 And sometimes plans just need to adjust but with morgan 120 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,480 It's always about him and here's the kicker if we don't agree to change plans 121 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,120 He either complains the entire time or just doesn't show up 122 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:52,800 The most recent incident was the straw that broke the camel's back last saturday our group of four planned to meet at this 123 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:57,520 New italian place that takes reservations. I had made the reservation two weeks in advance 124 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:03,840 Oh, wow because it's notoriously hard to get a table. The plan was clear 7 30 p.m. At this restaurant 125 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:10,080 Then drinks at a bar nearby at 6 45 morgan texted the group chat saying he wasn't in the mood for pasta 126 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:14,240 And suggested we go to a burger joint across town instead. I hate this guy 127 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:19,600 I told him we have a reservation and it's too late to change plans. He replied come on. It's just dinner 128 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:25,520 Can't we be flexible two of the others started wavering saying burgers sounded good and I got so frustrated. I just shut down 129 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:29,680 I told everyone I'm going to the italian place whether anyone shows up or not 130 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,200 Everyone came including morgan, but he sulked the entire dinner 131 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:37,280 He had making comments like burgers would have hit the spot and even told the waiter 132 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:43,040 He wasn't hungry which just made the whole vibe awkward after dinner. I told him privately that I was tired of this behavior 133 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:47,520 I said something like it feels like every time we make plans you try to hijack them to suit yourself 134 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,760 It's exhausting and I'm done 135 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:55,200 Morgan blew up saying I was overreacting that plans should be fun and flexible and that I was being controlling 136 00:10:55,520 --> 00:11:00,160 By forcing everyone to stick to the original plan. He stormed off and I haven't spoken to him since 137 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,800 Now a few of our mutual friends are saying I was too harsh 138 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:08,560 They think morgan is annoying sure but say he's just that guy in the group and it's not worth ending a decade long friendship 139 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,840 Over others have admitted that are relieved someone finally called him out 140 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,240 So am I the asshole for cutting off morgan? 141 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,280 Did I overreact to something that could have been handled with more patience? 142 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:21,520 Or is it fair to expect a grown adult to stick to plans every once in a while? 143 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,080 Yep 144 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,560 I he's not asshole at all 145 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,800 He's a good guy 146 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,800 Oh, he's the dude. Yeah 147 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:31,360 He's good 148 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:35,760 Well he's getting the band together all the time and morgan's just throwing a wrench in it 149 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:42,320 If it literally happens every time like I would I would be fed up way before this point like it would I would have 150 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:47,600 Been not good very very grinchy very grinchy of mr. Morgan 151 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:51,520 I will say like every now and then it's it's normal to like 152 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:57,920 And like I don't know I'm just thinking of like if I'm gonna hang out with the dudes like there's gonna be discussion around what we do 153 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,080 So it's like it's not always gonna be like 154 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,360 One dude just throwing down a plan and we're all just like yep, let's do it 155 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,480 You know, but also that's like not 156 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:11,920 That doesn't happen all that often the way that I thought about it was like I plan a golf trip 157 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:16,560 And it's like very much up to me to like make the decisions of what we're doing when we're gonna do it 158 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:20,080 Yeah, like try to make everybody's lives easier. They don't have to think we just show up 159 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:21,520 We have a good time 160 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,440 And we do it and like I never have to deal with that 161 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:27,200 But if I did if I do bounce like ideas off of the other guys 162 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,080 It would be super annoying to like 163 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,720 Like oh, yeah, no, let's do this instead like the combative stuff. That's 164 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:41,840 It's brain damage. No, I totally agree. I think especially like I'm just I feel so bad for op because 165 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:46,160 A two week reservation and at that point everyone wanted to go there 166 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:47,200 So 167 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,000 Like he was doing it for everyone too. It wasn't just for himself 168 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:54,880 And then for him on the way there to tuxna. That's insane. I would be 169 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:59,760 This well and the other friends to be like backing him up like actually, yeah burgers sound good 170 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:04,720 I'm like you all know we had this reservation for two weeks like let's can you all just 171 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:09,760 Stomach some pasta for the night like you're gonna be fine. It's not that hard 172 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:15,200 I'm glad they showed don't even I do not do this. So don't give me that 173 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:21,120 Do you does any of us here do that like or any of us kind of like change plan changers me? 174 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,320 Okay, yeah 175 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:31,200 For sure. No, I think like I will if like we're planning something 176 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:34,320 I'll definitely put my two cents in like I'll say like what I like 177 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:39,840 But I would never be like, yeah, no like once the plan is this this is what it is 178 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:40,480 Right 179 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:44,880 Yeah, no weeks to do and I guess it'll just depend like let's say I'm going to dinner with my best friend 180 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:51,120 And I text her like dude. I'm so sorry. Like I can't do 5 30 joe's working late. Can we do six? Like right? 181 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:57,760 That's like I've done that before and my friends have done that to me and that's different but something like this 182 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:04,880 I mean, I'm not like that. That's for sure. That's extreme. Yeah, that's that's just like I feel like him wanting to be just very 183 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,480 In control of everyone. Yeah, like that's like just control 184 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:13,840 It gives like only child youngest child and like just like a little brat 185 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:15,520 Wow 186 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:20,160 It's getting entitled. I said only child and youngest youngest child 187 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:25,440 No, but you're not like that. But you know what I mean though? Like it just gives like they're very much only child 188 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:30,000 Like mommy and daddy just like they can do what he wants. Yeah, I don't know 189 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,760 You're not like that though. I'm more like that than you are. So there we go. Okay 190 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:38,720 I'm only I was kind of an only child and I'm literally the chillest of the chill 191 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,680 I'm like you tell me where to go when to be there. I'm just gonna show 192 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:47,200 Yeah, that's you for sure. I also feel like there's a point where it kind of swings where op 193 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:52,240 Like always wanting to like make a rigid plan 194 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:58,160 Sometimes that just rubs people the wrong way too. Like sometimes it's kind of nice to like roll with the punches 195 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:03,680 so not to like totally be like devil's advocate here, I think morgan's a douche, but like 196 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,880 There is a point too where like 197 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:13,040 You don't have to like plan things out two weeks in advance all the time and like sometimes it's nice to get together without a plan 198 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,200 and like 199 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:20,320 So I just from saying this sometimes that you could swing too far in one way too much wanting to like 200 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:22,960 Schedule everything out be so regimented 201 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:28,720 Yeah, that makes sense. Well, and it's probably like op has probably gotten to that point where 202 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:33,360 I don't know like sometimes like I don't want to say self sabotage 203 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,600 But kind of where he's like, oh like I'm gonna make this plan 204 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:43,360 So set in stone that like he looks even more like a bad guy when he tries to change the plan 205 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:48,720 And so that's what I was trying to say. Yeah, like I feel like it is like he might be like 206 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:53,600 It's annoys him so much that he just like kind of want to make him look worse 207 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,280 In some way. I don't know. They should just have morgan 208 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:02,800 Plans things sometimes. Yeah, really just everyone like he changed his own plans though 209 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,600 And then change his plans when he makes his plans 210 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:09,280 Exactly. There you go. That's but then it's like are you flexible morgan? 211 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:16,800 But then it's like you can just go with it. Yeah, you know you let him have this because maybe he just doesn't feel like he gets to 212 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:24,080 Make the plans. Yeah step up to the plate morgan make your own plans or if like if if op wants to 213 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,800 Make the plans all the time like plan on 214 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:33,920 Like a multiple choice. Hey, we're gonna go to one of these four restaurants tonight. Let's pick together as a group on that day 215 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:39,440 Then he still is controlling things that that morgan grinch. He was the grinch for sure 216 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:44,800 I have had a friend for 11 years and I love her to pieces. Okay. This is called 217 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,520 Debbie Downer. Oh 218 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,840 Debbie Downer Debbie down Debbie Downs 219 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,200 Deb 220 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,680 I 221 00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:58,800 I 222 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:04,000 Have had a friend for 11 years and I love her to pieces. She was with me when I found out 223 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,080 I was pregnant and she feels like a sister to me 224 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:10,240 However, she is extremely negative and I'm finding being her friend exhausting 225 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:17,360 I know this may make me sound like an aw but she is very negative 100% of the time every time we hang out 226 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,520 She spends most of the time complaining 227 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:24,480 Obsessing over her weight to the point we go for a meal and she sits there calculating the calories 228 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,440 She always makes comments like diet starts tomorrow 229 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,440 Now when I'm trying 230 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:35,360 When I'm just trying to enjoy a meal out she works two jobs and she hates one and is incredibly 231 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,480 Mistreated at the other and I try to offer advice 232 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:44,240 But I can't exactly tell her what to do about her work situation as she is trying to pursue her dream 233 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,880 While I'm not a career focused person 234 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:53,360 Every single day she messages me with a dilemma or multiple dilemmas and it's so tiring out of the blue 235 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:58,960 I'll get voice notes where she is constantly ranting and swearing about her job or her home life or money 236 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,960 Again, I love her to pieces, but it's so exhausting when I hang out with her 237 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,680 I feel like I'm just a rant to me machine 238 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:10,880 I have tried to offer my advice but she seems to just con want to constantly rant at me 239 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:15,920 Constantly as I mentioned before I am pregnant and has been extremely rough for me 240 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:21,680 She still messages me with rants and complaints and I'm just so tired for it. I know this sounds so harsh 241 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,320 But it is constant. I don't even know what to say anymore 242 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:28,480 I don't want my daughter to be around someone so obsessed with weight and food tracking 243 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,360 Either as that's not what I want for them 244 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:38,640 She'll also ask me for lifts when she's stuck somewhere and then just spends the entire time complaining about buses or her mom 245 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,480 her mom 246 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,480 Not coming to get her it is spell mum. She's an artist 247 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:49,840 So she'll complain about her are not being good enough and I have tried to tell her not to be so hard on herself 248 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:53,200 But she'll then tell me she's crying about it. I don't know what to do 249 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:56,000 I know she's struggling, but I don't even know what to say anymore 250 00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:02,720 I feel like we have both become a broken record. I'm moving away and I'm ashamed to say I'm looking forward to having some distance 251 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,160 It's not too far. So I will of course try to see her when I can 252 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,680 I want to be there for her, but it feels like it's 24 7 253 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,760 Sorry for the rant my any advice is greatly appreciated 254 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,280 I have thoughts, but I just want one of you guys to get it kicked off here 255 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:22,640 I just kind of feel bad because I feel bad for both parties to be honest 256 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,280 So I feel like the Debbie Downer 257 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:30,160 She obviously feels safe and she's obviously grateful for her friend 258 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:36,400 Because she is raw and vulnerable and open with her about a lot of the things she's struggling with in life 259 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,000 And like she feels like that's her person to like come to for all of that 260 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,640 On the other hand though the op 261 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:47,360 That's a lot to carry and she's already carrying a baby at that point. So 262 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,840 I feel like that's just like one of those things where you have to communicate that with your friends 263 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:57,120 And if they're not willing to be respectful of that boundary or setting then like yeah, then either 264 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,720 I would probably just say let's take some space for a while 265 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:07,600 Then if they weren't able to respect that right and isn't it bad to have like being pregnant and just having negative energy 266 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,840 around you like that all the time 267 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:13,440 Like don't you think that'd be hard on you like hard on you and the baby? 268 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:18,640 It's hard for anybody, but obviously like pregnancy is a crazy thing. So 269 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,320 I'd imagine that you would you want to be as positive 270 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:28,080 As possible. Yeah, like you want it to be like as you want like the very best circumstances 271 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:33,680 Right and like I'm saying this in terms of op in this negative person not so much like 272 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,920 That you guys are pregnant. It's not like make it as positive as possible 273 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:41,200 Yeah, but it's just the fact that like yeah for 274 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:46,320 For the the person that's complaining to op you got to find a different dumping ground 275 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:47,680 Yeah 276 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:52,400 And that's actually not the healthy way to do it. Yeah, why don't you hire in the therapist go to therapy? 277 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:58,800 That's where she should be doing it. We should start a company where people call us and we let them rant to us 278 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:04,320 Just a straight ranting. That's genius. Someone already started that go to therapy 279 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:11,360 Yeah, exactly. And just mm-hmm. Mm-hmm and smile and just and just love what they say and it's literally 20 280 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:17,920 We just agree in it. It's all about just agreeing with what they said so that they feel like that out there 281 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:22,160 That would be so therapeutic though like she said what to you? Oh my gosh 282 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:27,760 Seriously, that's not a bad idea. Let's do it. I would I'm pregnant. I can't 283 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:33,440 I can't get shit. Yeah, but and like it's not gonna make very much money. So why not? 284 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,040 Because you think people are gonna how much are people gonna spend on that? 285 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:42,480 Let's ask the people you there's some low. Why would you do that when you could just go dump it on your friend? 286 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,960 Hey 287 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:48,800 Like good thing Marco Polo is already invented because I love Marco Polo 288 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:53,600 That's free to use and that's how everybody dumps their shiz to one to another. So I've heard that's what I do 289 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,680 What's Marco Polo? Oh, it's the best 290 00:21:55,680 --> 00:22:00,080 It's it's video like chatting so but it's like not live so like 291 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,880 You send a video 292 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:08,160 To someone and then they can watch it whenever they want and then they send you a video. So it's like old people snapchat 293 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:15,280 Yeah, essentially that's what it is. Oh my gosh. That's hilarious walk in from being out somewhere and she's just like, okay 294 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,360 I gotta go joe's here 295 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:22,640 And like ends the thing she's like I was just like I was just marcoing my friend. It's fine 296 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:28,800 It's my god school. I'm Marco every single day me and Amber Marco every single day 297 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:34,160 So instead of snapping it's marcoing. Yeah, but it's yeah, and it's like they could be they could jump on and watch it live 298 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,880 and send you little hearts and react so that like they're like 299 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,920 feels like they're 300 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,920 But oh, sorry. I haven't gotten on in a couple of days. I've been so busy 301 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,000 But like I listen to most of your Marco 302 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:51,680 It's good. It's good for the for the girls to be able to do that. I live from Whitney. We should Marco 303 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:57,280 Do you have Marco pull up? No, I know dude Marco pulls the best. I would do it just to 304 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:03,680 You need to get it with your sisters too. Oh, that's so nice. Thank you. Yeah, and see island. Yeah 305 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,960 I'll mark it with island for sure. But here's what's cool about that app. It's so fun 306 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:11,680 Like when you're talking it's like a cat you're it's like captive audience like 307 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:16,720 Whoever you're talking to is you feel like they're listening to you no matter what yeah 308 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:22,800 Like so like you're able to just really actually get it all out there. Oh, yeah, whatever that hardcore like honestly 309 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,760 I was thinking I was questioning myself in that story like dude 310 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:31,600 I'm totally a Debbie Downer to some of my friends like I'd go to no you guys are Debbie Downers together. Well, yeah 311 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,960 For sure. It's reciprocated is reciprocated for sure 312 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,800 But still like I definitely go to my friends to like let it out 313 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:46,400 Specific friends not like everyone but like there are a few. Yeah, that's how it's supposed to be. Yeah, that's like that's normal 314 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:51,440 It's normal event to blow off steam, but it has to be if OP is feeling the way that she's feeling 315 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:57,920 She has to be able to communicate that and like ultimately this is the truth now that we kind of process through it 316 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,560 Like it's kind of on OP to set the boundary at some point 317 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:05,840 It is yeah, like because friend is probably just thinking oh like she is my person to go to like 318 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:12,080 You know, she's always there for me, but it's obviously hurting OP and it's like keyword exhausting 319 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:17,200 Yeah, and so it's like yes, it is on OP to like set the boundary now 320 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:22,240 But like because the girl's not gonna know any different now. I mean she spent 11 years doing this 321 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,240 So it's like got a letter now 322 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:32,800 But I also I also think life is supposed to be like kind of enjoyable. No, that's not just like constantly being sad 323 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:39,520 About everything and it's and it's the same things. It seems like it's the same thing about she is always bringing up her weight 324 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:47,120 Like she just is like I feel like she's feeding for compliments. Yeah. Oh my gosh so fat 325 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,680 How many calories you know, she's just waiting for someone to be like that would bother me 326 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,120 I don't think no you're skinny like I promise 327 00:24:56,240 --> 00:25:02,160 Oh really? Okay. I'll have a cheeseburger with extra cheese. Well, and then it also gets you to a point 328 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,840 It gets you to a point where then you're thinking about all the negative things in your life 329 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,200 Then you're like hold like if she's worried about her weight should I be worried about mine? 330 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:18,480 And like oh if she thinks her job sucks like it just like puts you in a negative headspace where you're always looking at the negative in life 331 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,560 Because that's all that you're hearing 332 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,560 And so it's like hard to be even just a positive person yourself 333 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,760 When that's all you're hearing from like a friend. So 334 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,640 And that's not good for the baby. There's a 335 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,280 There's a thought model 336 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,880 In one of these programs that I really like shout out opfg 337 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,000 Oh 338 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,680 CTFAR 339 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:47,360 Circumstance thoughts feelings actions results. So your circumstance you can't change your thoughts you can control 340 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:54,240 And your thoughts create your feelings feelings and create your actions and your actions create your results 341 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:55,520 um 342 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:56,720 So like 343 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:01,120 Such a huge thing if you're just thinking all the negative things and even throwing them at someone else 344 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,160 You're causing them to think more negative things 345 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:11,680 Right and if op could like fill her brain with positivity and like things that are going to be productive and she's going to feel better and 346 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:20,000 So on so forth but context me 30 female and my soon-to-be husband 30 male max have been dating for almost six years 347 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:26,240 And we're getting married in july. Okay. So what I did is that I asked max not to invite one of his friends 348 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:32,960 Sebastian 31 male not his best friend fyat to our wedding max and Sebastian met each other at school 349 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,960 And they kept in touch after the years mostly a tech scene video calling friend 350 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:42,880 But he comes to visit us sometimes when we would go to the same parties events every so often first things first 351 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:47,840 I am not a bridezilla. Okay max said nope. He's coming and that was it 352 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:54,880 I was nothing more. It was nothing more than a suggestion. The suggestion is the action. I am asking about 353 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:56,080 I'm not a crazy bride 354 00:26:56,080 --> 00:27:02,400 My reasoning for my suggestion is because Sebastian is the most debbie downer person I've ever met the definition for 355 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:06,240 a person with an insistent need to bring down the collective mood and 356 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,960 general ambiance of a 357 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:14,080 Group chill and he's exactly that person don't get me wrong. He's a sweet guy and max cares a lot for him 358 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:21,200 And I know sabah sebb is a great friend too the last time we were together with Sebastian and a couple of friends in a local bar 359 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:28,560 We were talking about our future getting our future getting kids getting wrinkles gray hair turning 30 and whatnot when max asked 360 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:34,880 Sebastian where he'd see himself at 40. Sebastian said something amongst the lines of honestly can't see myself at 40 361 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:40,400 Surprise, I made it to 30 the group laughed it off and I said I'd say awkwardly and max padded him 362 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:45,440 On the shoulder smiling, but that killed the vibe and changed the topic of our combo. You know what I mean? 363 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:50,720 That's just an example, but that's always his energy, you know debbie downer. It's like a human 364 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:55,360 Mentor. Well, yeah, that was my reasoning a few days ago. I suggested the idea to max 365 00:27:55,360 --> 00:28:01,280 I pitched my case by saying we want a small wedding anyway and Sebastian is not the most sociable guy and his energy is not 366 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:07,360 Necessary the energy I want on that day, you know, that's all max shut down my suggestion immediately and later 367 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,440 He said he wasn't mad at me or anything 368 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:14,320 But his face when we were having this conversation told me otherwise apparently he also told his mother 369 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:18,800 She was in our place at that moment because I was getting a weird vibe from her too later that day 370 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:24,400 I felt judged like I said, I'm not a bridezilla and Sebastian is going to the wedding this it ain't that deep 371 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:30,160 But am I the asshole for suggesting that like if you told me that one of my friends couldn't go to my wedding 372 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,600 That'd be sad. Yeah, I'd be I'd be pretty sad right 373 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:37,920 Even if they were like a total buzzkill. I wouldn't be friends with the total buzzkill 374 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,240 What's up? 375 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,000 The biggest thing is like on that day at least I'm thinking of our wedding 376 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:50,320 I if somebody was trying to be a debbie downer in the corner, I would have had no idea 377 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,480 I would have paid them no attention 378 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,960 I wouldn't have cared because I'm locked in I'm in the zone 379 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,160 Getting married, right? So like I don't think 380 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,800 Like I could understand a bride being like yeah, and like no, I don't want that like 381 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:09,440 Energy suck at my wedding, but she just doesn't realize that she's like she's not going to even freaking remember 382 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:16,800 Who was there who was not there? Right unless he's like saying something crazy at the dinner or you know, it's like it sounds like it's 383 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:24,160 Really just him let him come to the wedding, but we don't let Sebastian make a toast or anything. Right? 384 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:30,000 He's not giving a speech. He's not. Yeah, just let him lurk in the background or let him dance 385 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,920 He might not want to dance. Yeah, he might be able to throw down on the dance floor 386 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,760 Or not can't believe james is getting married before me 387 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:44,560 Love is there any comments or anything the consensus what the he was that she was the asshole. There is one 388 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,120 There's one guy that was like 389 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:53,360 Puts like the first things first. I'm not a bridezella. That's exactly what a bridezilla would say his 390 00:29:53,920 --> 00:30:00,240 His energy is not necessarily necessarily the energy you want that day. It's pretty clear. He suffers from lowest 391 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:07,120 Low esteem and depression and you want your fiance to exclude him from one of the most significant days in your fiance's life 392 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,680 I'm not sure that will do wonders for sub- 393 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:13,920 Sebastian self-esteem not to mention your friendship. I'm like, yeah, like 394 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:20,320 Really, it's like I don't mean to be rude, but and then says something rude. She's like, I'm not a bridezilla, but 395 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:25,040 Here's how I'm a bride. You're sad to press friend can't come for our wedding because he's too sad 396 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:28,560 Hate him. Okay. Don't say it, but who had the fake who do you think? 397 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,920 Don't give it up. Don't tell your own yourself. I thought you're gonna say me 398 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,800 I think it was me 399 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,480 I might have been me. I think it might have been you. It might have been me 400 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,240 I think it's Marley as well. I think it's a girl this time 401 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:49,760 I'm like, I could definitely see bridezilla over here being fake, but also 402 00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:55,360 I feel like Whitney's had it gone it so many times. I don't I don't think she's destined to get it again 403 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,000 That's fair. It's you. I don't think it's me 404 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,360 I think it's marley 405 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:07,920 I don't think it's me. It's Marley. I think it's Marley. Love you 406 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:14,720 Let us know what you guys think comment. Which one you think is fake on our socials come through. We love you all 407 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:34,720 Thank you for listening