Welcome back to internet frenzy. What is good?
What's good y'all?
So many things.
Let's go.
Oh, my Dr. Pepper, crispier than crisp.
You're gonna have to edit that out.
Yeah, that was pretty bad.
I actually really like that.
Okay.
America.
Woo!
Sponsor us Pepsi.
Don't you think none of us have a Pepsi?
We are all drinking Dr. Pepper as we speak.
That's true.
Okay.
All right. Welcome back everybody.
What's up?
Another week.
Let's freaking do it.
Quick little recap.
Last week's theme was behind closed doors.
Had some good ones.
We got to find out which one was fake.
First of all, renting an Airbnb to catch up with your
estranged brother.
That was crazy. That was Marley's.
Yeah.
That was a good one.
Narley's story.
We had little foot over there with the wife doing the
divorce prepping.
Little suss.
Could be fake.
Next one was my story.
Pretending to mourn the husband's death.
Husband was abusive all those years.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was rough.
And then last but certainly not least,
seeing sister's poison search history.
Yeah.
That was crazy.
So crazy.
That was so spectacular.
Oh my god.
It's so like, it's so crazy.
It was a true story.
No, so cruel.
You know that trend is going around where they're like,
you know, where they like clap.
Yeah.
And they're like, yay.
It was literally that.
Give me the money.
Yeah.
Well, you know.
It was crazy in Rome.
That was pretty insane.
It was crazy.
Actually, as soon as I said that was crazy,
you all busted out laughing.
There was no silence.
Oh, no.
It was like going to melt in silence.
There was a chunk.
We must have forgot.
I'm delusional.
It was like.
You're trauma blocks.
We all really looked at each other.
Did that really just happen?
That was crazy.
I pause.
I feel like you hear that, didn't you?
Wait a minute.
Anyways, I was just saying,
I'm excited to see what this week's all about.
We're starting today off with a bang.
And we're doing Tinder horror stories.
It's going to get crazy.
I'm scared.
I'm not scared.
I'm a little spooked.
Do you have any of your own Tinder horror stories?
You probably do.
Yeah.
Not buying.
You have a Tinder horror story.
I do not.
I'm just chill with it.
Okay.
I do not.
Please tell yours.
No, it's not.
It's not for the podcast.
Do you guys want to hear a cool confession by me?
Yes.
I've never had any dating apps.
Wow.
That's amazing.
I've been authentic.
Well, you guys also were high school sweethearts
and then went on a mission
and then came home and got married.
Yeah, there was no time.
Were you ever even single after age 12?
No, I wasn't.
Makes sense.
So, yeah, dating apps were not a thing for you.
Ah, dating apps were fun though.
They were a vibe.
Oh, I mean, hey, there's some good things about it.
You should have swiped up on bunch of catfishes.
Swiped right.
It really is like totally fake, everything.
My date has a terminal illness.
We've talked back and forth for several weeks.
She's beautiful, like not a conventional 10 out of 10, but she checks all my preferences
and boxes.
So to me, she's a 10.
She's the funniest girl I've ever talked to.
She's kind.
She's caring.
She seems to dig me.
I'm not sure why.
I thought she was too busy because she worked in healthcare.
The actual reason is she has a terminal illness that ensures that she will be dead or severely
incapacitated by the time she's 30.
She's currently 21 and wise beyond her years.
She has a very stable job and is far more mature than anyone I've ever met.
We met only once because she feels it's unfair to let someone love her and she was starting
to feel like we had something to help me.
She told me this morning, my heart sank, but I cracked a few jokes about it, made her laugh
a little bit.
A few felt great to make her laugh.
The date we had is one of my favorite moments of my entire life.
It was passionate, calm, light, funny, and well, the first night we eft, but in the morning,
once the booze ran out, we made love.
I've been obsessed with the kiss she gave me on my neck.
This is poetry.
There was something so sincere about it.
I'm lusting, hard, and beyond the lus...
Oh, shh.
I feel like there was so much more underneath.
Guys.
He's in love.
It's not.
Hard.
It's not.
I lussed hard for you.
It's not love.
I asked my dad for advice.
He met the love of his life, she died of lung cancer after five years.
He told me, son, if you feel this is right and you love her, just go for it.
I asked my dad for advice.
He met the love of his life and she died of lung cancer after five years.
He told me, son, if you feel this is right and you love her, just go for it.
If I had known day one, she was going to die knowing all the good time we had had before
she died.
I'd still do it in a heartbeat.
She made me a better man in so many ways.
And so I'm my dad's son, right?
I think she's worthy of being loved.
I want her to experience it truly.
I want to be there for her and get her mind off death.
I want to fall asleep holding her next to me for all the time that we thought.
I'm going to see her tomorrow to give her flowers and a drawing I made for her.
She seemed really happy about it and told me to knock on her door so she could steal
a hug.
I'll try to steal a kiss.
Oh my gosh.
This is so dirty.
But I feel like if there's a God, I must be an effing joke to him.
I just got dumped by my girlfriend of 12 years for my best friend of 20 years.
And through three Tinder dates, I had the worst day in my life with a crazy girl, a
very awkward date with someone that absolutely didn't look like their pictures.
And the best date in my life is with a dying girl.
My life is an effing sitcom at this point.
Hope your dating life is going better than mine.
That's a good turn.
Let me finish.
I'm starting to think that this Tinder thing sucks.
If anyone has experience dating people with a terminal illness, let me know.
Oh, that's kind of sad.
That's probably a little mean.
And there's a lot of people that, like, it's like a whole another story time in this comments.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
That poor guy.
No, he's so in love.
But at the same time, like, the poor girl, what do you mean?
Yeah, exactly.
Let's go to that.
The poor guy.
Oh, this guy, he's just giving me a little break.
Oh no, poor guy.
I'm lost so hard and I can't go for her because she's gonna die.
Like, bro, if that's your only problem in life is you are lost and you can't have it,
get in line.
Wow.
Are you?
No.
No, I just feel bad.
I just feel bad for that girl because she's like holding herself back from living because
she's like...
She's just not gonna love.
Yeah.
And she loves him?
Oh, for sure.
Probably.
Sounds like it.
You think so?
It seems like it.
Yeah, it seems like...
Okay, not mine.
It seems like they, like, have times where they, like, they were, like, loving each other,
not just, like, doing it just because.
That's true.
You're right, you're right.
But do you think it makes her more attractive that she does?
Like this, like, you think like this is it?
And like, all, like, yes.
You know, you always kind of want what you can't have type of thing?
Oh yeah, for sure.
But you're right.
People want what they can't have.
He's kind of chasing her a little bit.
So what if it was like the opposite and she was pursuing him more?
Do you think he would not be losting so hard?
Yeah, probably.
I think he would be trying to get out of the situation.
Yeah, I agree.
But it was kind of just weird how he was so happy the whole time and at the end he's like,
my life sucks.
Okay, well, it kind of does.
Did you hear everything he's been through?
Yeah, everything tracks.
Like, of course his life sucks.
His girlfriend of 12 years left him for his best friend of 20 years.
So he lost his best friend and his girlfriend went on a date with the dweeb and a crazy
girl and then a dying one.
I'm sorry, that sucks.
Okay, daddy gets to love for another nine years max and the last couple of years of
it based on what he said, she's going to be like deteriorating and not coherent.
That's like, that is, should be a movie one and two could not draw it up worse for a fella.
But his dad, his dad was pimp though.
I liked his dad's advice.
Yeah, because that's a generational pattern you got to keep.
I've been through it and I am grateful for like he was happy.
I feel for him.
That freaking sucks.
This is so embarrassing, but I just have to get this off my chest and tell somebody because
I just thought of this and was cringing so hard at myself.
Maybe I just broken up with my longtime girlfriend of seven years and I was trying to make friends.
I use Tinder as one of the ways to do that.
It was in my bio and everything that I was just looking for friends.
Anyways, this girl matches with me and is being super flirty asking to meet up and hang
out.
It all goes way over my head.
I legit wasn't thinking about sex at all.
It's so surreal looking back just how bad this girl tried to sleep with me and I just
kept so innocently and accidentally blowing her off.
She must have been so frustrated.
OMG.
She asks to hang out one day and gives me her address.
I drive to her place expecting to hang out and she says we can't stay at her place because
her family is weird.
So she suggests we go to mine.
I live with roommates at the time and didn't want to bring someone I just met to their
space since they just had a kid.
We talked about that and agreed no strangers during this time and it was just past COVID.
So we thought about where we would go and she suggested a hotel.
I thought about it and was like, hmm, yeah, it's basically like renting a room for a day
and we can grab my PS4 from my house real quick and game on their TV.
I'll even get some snacks.
So we drove to my house.
I ran and grabbed my PS4 and then we drove to the motel.
The lady working behind the desk sees us 19 F and 21 M walk in and ask for a room and
just gives us a sly smile while handing us the key.
The girl got red and I literally didn't know why but didn't think anything of it.
We get to the room.
I start hooking up the PS4 while she just sits there on the bed taking her shoes off
and jacket off.
And then I turn on the TV and sit next to her handing her a controller.
She starts scooting closer to me and I'm like, okay, so we can either play a co-op RPG game
if you want a story or we can go old school shooter if you're looking to compete or we
can team up against online peeps in WWE.
And the entire time my mind is just focused on having a good time and hanging out with
my new friend.
We get through a couple hours of playing different games and eventually order a pizza and decide
to watch a movie.
So now we're sitting on the bed a whole cushion apart watching a movie about eating pizza.
After it got dark and the movie ended I was like, I guess I should get you home now.
And she was super silent the whole ride back.
I couldn't figure out if I'd done something wrong.
After I drop her off and tell her I had fun she literally slams my door close and walks
inside.
I was taking her back and spent the whole drive back to my place trying to figure out
if I'd said something or was rude in any way.
Wait and stop right there.
I just see that mean you know we're like all the numbers are popping up and like all the
math is like he's just like driving home and he's just like what did I do wrong.
Which should have been the Sims.
I went straight to the RPG.
Dang it.
She would have played Fortnite.
I texted her a couple days later and she had blocked me.
So that's the story of how my completely oblivious ass blue balled some tinder chick who wanted
dick but instead got four hours of sorry got six hours of Borderlands and a two hour in
depth rundown of the Elder Scrolls lore and why the Khajii have seven different races based
on their births in relationship to the moon cycles.
Six hours.
He put this girl through six hours of Borderlands.
Eventually something was going to happen and then he just rise her up.
Actually she was a gamer then.
I mean it seems like she had there should have been something where he thought that
playing video games was going to be.
Yeah.
I'm sure they were both like gamers.
He just thought of her as a bro.
So just his new friend.
His new pal.
Let's go to the hotel and game.
That's so crazy.
I can't even imagine.
That's my favorite story I've ever read on this app.
I'm serious.
That was really good.
Is there any updates like is he having a girlfriend?
Is he studying or is he just lonely forever now?
So there's no updates.
There's nothing about like where he's at now.
Just people playing with him.
People just loving him saying that he's the best.
The most most dude in the world.
Most socially aware Reddit user.
Somebody said.
So funny.
That was hilarious.
Someone said cringy or not you matched with someone on a dating app.
That is a massive success.
Oh wow.
I mean in this state of his life maybe.
And he was writing it.
He was writing it looking back cringing at himself.
I don't know how old he is when he's writing it.
Yeah.
He said it was right after COVID.
He's like yeah that one time when I literally tortured a girl for eight hours in a hotel
room but not the way you think.
He said that.
Yes.
Bluebald the Tinder chick.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my goodness.
Poor thing.
That was funny.
So that poor girl.
The top comment the most like highest rated one says now I really want to hear the story
from the POV of the girl.
Oh seriously.
Oh my gosh.
Seriously I bet she's got a rent somewhere.
And somebody's.
She has to.
The response to that is I'm picturing her saying something like thanks again for getting
the room you know I was realizing earlier that I haven't had sex in so long.
It's seriously been months.
And him being like dude same.
Okay so we're coming up on the mini boss what you're going to want to do next.
Gaming is life.
For some 21 year old.
He was playing lots of games that night.
Yeah.
Precisely.
Oh and this is another this one's so good.
This comment says legit sad this didn't end up with and that's how I met your mother.
Oh that would have been amazing.
That would have been crazy.
That would have been good.
I know it's like it would have been way better if they ended up together and having kids
and starting life.
But that's not the way the story goes.
Sky fumbled and it's over and that girls.
He didn't really fumble though.
He didn't care.
I mean that's true.
I guess yeah he was just chilling.
And he like honestly no it was a success for him.
He got someone to play PS4 with him.
It was a success.
Six hours.
That was a success.
I can't fathom it.
21 years old like let's get a motel and shoot people.
Yeah.
It does not make sense.
I matched with a girl named Sarah on Tinder.
Her profile seemed pretty normal and we hit it off quickly through messaging.
After a week of chatting we decided to meet up for a coffee date at a cafe downtown.
When I arrived at the cafe Sarah was already there sitting at a table.
We began the typical small talk.
As the conversation went on I noticed something unsettling.
Sarah seemed to know an insane amount of personal details about me.
Details I hadn't shared.
For example she mentioned that she knew about my little brother soccer games and even talked
about my favorite video game in a lot of detail.
At first I thought it was just a coincidence so that maybe she had overheard me talking
about these things online but then things started to get really creepy.
Sarah mentioned that she knew about my parents anniversary dinner last month and even referenced
a private joke my family has.
I was a bit shook trying to piece together how she knew so much.
I asked her directly how she knew these things and she just smiled and said she had a good
memory.
The conversation took an even stranger turn when Sarah talked about my friends and mentioned
something specific about a recent outing.
She even knew about a personal struggle I had been dealing with something I hadn't mentioned
to anyone.
She could tell I was getting uncomfortable.
She starts a playoff saying that she's been following my social media accounts closely
piecing together information from my posts and photos.
She said she was just really interested in getting to know me and wanted to make sure
we had a connection.
I was both creeped out and relieved when the day ended.
I made an excuse about having an early morning and quickly left the cafe.
I decided to unmatch her on Tinder and block her on social media.
I haven't been on a Tinder date since.
The stalker Sarah.
Sarah.
Seriously it's like she's got him bugged.
Can you imagine going into my first date and they know these weird things and you're like
wait wait wait hold on hold on.
Wait what?
Like what do you mean my brother's soccer game?
How did you know about that?
Yeah you didn't.
That didn't bother you at all on our first date.
I know what I was saying over there.
Little bears.
Little bear playing with hot wheels.
Eating talkies and cheeseburgers.
That was yesterday.
Yeah that's true.
Ducky vehicle.
Update.
After blocking her on Tinder and social media I didn't think I'd have to deal with her
again.
But things took a darker turn.
Sarah randomly began popping up at places I was at.
The first time I was at the mall I spotted her standing near the entrance while I was
with my friends.
I thought it was a coincidence but then I saw her again a week later outside my gym parking
lot.
Each time she didn't approach me but her presence was enough to make me feel uneasy.
So I decided it was time to take action.
I filed a report with the local authorities detailing the incidents and providing any
evidence I had.
They took the situation seriously and advised me on steps to protect myself.
It was terrifying I felt relieved to have taken the necessary precautions.
Dang hope OP is okay.
I know.
Because she could kill them.
She really could.
That's weird.
That's taking it to a whole other level.
It's not just some girl that has a crush on him that is obsessed or whatever or lusting
hard.
It's like she is actually there's definitely some mental health issues there or something
because she's crazy.
Well what's so crazy is like she had to somehow know who he was before they matched on Tinder
then Brian matched on Tinder.
I think they matched on Tinder and then she went to like full on investigating them.
That's what I think.
And maybe someone she knows like knows him.
Oh yeah maybe they have a mutual friend.
Like there's a mutual friend and so she was like hey tell me everything you know about
this guy.
That could definitely be.
But then I think she went to probably a little crazy.
Man I do really like this dude.
I'm gonna follow him around now.
Oh.
Because she says on the date she could tell he was getting uncomfortable and she said
like look like I just wanted to make sure we had like a really good connection.
So that's why like on social media I like looked you up and was like basically stalking
your stuff.
Which if someone said that to me on a date like I wanted to make sure we had a really
good connection I'd be like why would you want to make sure that's so creepy.
I'm either asshole for not taking my Tinder date along because she just wanted to be friends.
I went on a date two days ago with a girl I was talking to on Tinder for a couple of
weeks.
Our date was really planned in advance but the morning of I got tickets for indoor skydiving
and thought that that'd be a good way for us to meet up so I invited her for lunch and
then skydiving and then maybe a movie after.
That's a good date.
Yeah.
Pimped out.
And it was last minute.
I picked her up.
We went out for sushi and during our lunch she said she was just looking for friends and
not really dating.
Honestly it kind of killed the mood because I'm looking to date more than friends.
If she wanted to just be friends though I decided I'd rather do the skydiving with someone
else.
So in the middle of lunch I excused myself to call my buddy to see if he was down and
he was up for it.
Oh my god.
I agree.
When it came to time to pay for the meal I paid for both of us and told her I had fun
but this is where we part ways.
She got upset.
My friend now.
Yeah.
Forget you girl.
She got upset and she was excited for skydiving and I told her I'm not looking for more friends.
I was interested in pursuing a romantic relationship and if she's not interested then I'm not interested.
I left her at the sushi place to go meet up with my friend and off we went.
My phone exploding with nasty texts all throughout.
Was I the asshole the only way I think I might be is I picked her up but didn't bring her
home.
Otherwise it's not my obligation to provide essentially a stranger with a fun day.
P.S.
Indoor skydiving was sort of lame just for your reference in case you ever wanted to
do it.
This guy.
Oh okay.
That's terrible.
I actually love this dude.
I thought I would do similar to what he's doing.
If you're spending a full day and you plan it out I know it's a last minute plan but
still you have to plan that so far.
You're sitting across this girl you think she's hot you're interested and she tells
you like oh I'm not looking today I just want to be friends.
She friends on it.
She's not interested.
Why would he keep her the rest of the day.
And honestly she probably wasn't interested in him and that's probably the excuse she
says to all the guys.
Yeah she's not interested.
Maybe she's looking for a chase.
Maybe she's trying to see if that guy even like telling them that.
No.
He could have just like I'm gonna show you a good time and change you mind by the night.
Let me tell you something.
If I ever went on a date it is messed up because she should not have gone on a date with him
because she knew just by the pics just by the vibe that she was not gonna actually be
interested in him.
She was using him for a free lunch indoor skydiving and whatever.
That's exactly.
So yeah if she's gonna be smart like I was you just don't tell them until after the dates
award.
Right.
You know.
And then you say well I'm not ready yet.
I'm not ready yet.
Call me later and you don't answer.
Then you can kiss me on the neck and lust for me hard later.
And then I'm gonna tell you I'm dying.
Oh.
Okay.
Well all our stories are now combined.
Joe any thoughts?
Yeah what?
What do you think?
Yeah do you think this guy's the jerk he should have dropped her off.
This guy's for sure the asshole.
You guys don't think he's the asshole.
That's crazy.
I'm with Joe.
I don't think that's what I mean.
No listen.
Listen.
I think she's the asshole.
Hey.
Like imagine a strike like a scout if you want to go and.
Doesn't want to actually like like kiss me so screw her.
But there's the thing she's the asshole she should have never even gone to begin with.
She was in it for a free day.
100%.
I don't think I'm gonna even do that.
Oh I would definitely do that.
But I would not get caught doing that.
Is she the asshole because she led him on for the date?
Because she knew she didn't want to be serious with him.
You're saying she's the asshole for that?
Yeah she should have gone.
She like why are you on Tinder when you're just wanting to have friends?
Ask Joe's friend that.
I've done it a couple of times.
The point is is that she was up front with him right?
She communicated with him?
Not until they were sitting across the table.
The thing is you don't know.
You don't know what that date could lead to in terms of maybe she changes her mind.
Maybe you guys have some more chemistry.
Maybe she introduces you to somebody else.
Like it's just better to just put good vibes into the universe and be a good person.
And like he didn't even have fun with this friend skydiving.
So like just make the most of it.
You cannot have too many friends.
That's asshole attitude.
Yeah that was actually so rude.
Like just be nice to this girl.
Finish out the date.
And if you don't marry her it's okay because you didn't lose anything other than like 45
bucks.
More than that.
It was kind of expensive.
But that's the risk that you take when you're dating.
You don't know if every single date it's going to be like your person.
It's like that is what dating is.
So what if during the dating apps like when they were talking she was really flirty and
things like that.
And so he's thinking it's going to be something.
He showed up to the lunch and she's like yeah no I'm not looking today I'm not looking for
anything.
Like he obviously was not expecting that.
He would have definitely not even taken her to the lunch.
What if she wants to be friends with benefits.
He didn't even try.
Maybe he did try.
He did not.
He didn't.
He literally hooked up with his bro.
That's pretty pent though.
He got up.
Called his friend.
Left her at the sushi restaurant.
This dude is if there is no question in the world this guy is the asshole.
I think they're both wrong.
I think she's wrong.
I think her intentions were to get a free awesome day.
What's wrong with that.
And what he.
That has to be 90% of Tinder.
Yes exactly.
So get off Tinder.
I just think if you're not there to actually look for someone to like date don't be on
Tinder.
If you're looking for friends go on Facebook or Instagram and follow everyone you find.
Well and that's what that's like proving the point of she was not.
She just was not interested in him.
Yeah.
That was really it.
Or she knew.
Or she just had defenses up.
Maybe she's been burnt a hundred times and so she's like I gotta take this really slow.
Can we just be friends first like we.
Sorry we're not going to a hotel after this.
Like let's just.
I think six hours.
Well I think she could have explained that better than like.
Yeah.
Maybe she didn't have a chance.
I want to take this really slow.
We can go on a few dates but not kissing you.
Do you think he asked that though because it didn't sound like that's really what the
conversation was.
He just jumped straight to my girl.
It was just instantly like he probably didn't even say she probably just brought it up like
oh by the way I just want to be friends.
And he's like oh.
Okay.
There's just no question in my mind because he left her at the sushi restaurant.
Just finish the date.
Okay that's just money.
That he should have just took her home.
Yeah.
And he should have left.
He should have like tried to lie to like maybe like hey I got really bad diarrhea like sorry
I can't go do the thing tonight.
Sorry the sushi just went straight through my girl.
Yeah.
Indoor skydiving and diarrhea do not make.
And girls that don't like me do not make.
Yeah true.
So good bye.
So eat shit.
Eat my shit as the first skydive.
So we already know this guy is an asshole.
So maybe like when they were talking no no no listen to me listen to me.
They're having sushi and he just gives off bad vibes like that he really is just not
a good person.
And she's like oh like I just maybe she did go into it like oh my gosh like I want to
see if this guy is really nice and like if it's going to work.
But then all leading up to like her saying that she wants to be friends like he's just
an ass.
Yeah.
Like just like he's like yeah it's just like only talking about himself or like we don't
have her side.
Maybe she was just like no like this guy is not it like I just want to be friends and
it's completely turned off by him.
Who's the fake?
Who is the fake?
I haven't even thought about that.
I think Marley because that was a crazy one.
What was yours Marley?
Like the termini L. Yeah.
I don't know.
It's like it's giving five feet apart.
Yeah.
I think it's either between I think it's between Joe and Winnie.
No it's mine's real.
The VS the VS for.
I really like Joe's.
Okay the PS4 when that if Joe was going to have a fake story that is exactly what it's
fake story.
That's what I'm thinking.
It was hilarious.
That's fact.
I love that you guys like you and Joe's were like you had the counter like the that was
good.
Some guys just want a game.
Some guys want to.
We'll ditch a girl.
Follow us on social media.
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Give us a rating on your favorite podcasting app.
We love you.
We love you all listening.
Friends he's on three.
One, two, three.
This this this is done.
We love you all.
Have a great week.
Bye.