WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.000 this week on hot couple chronicles it's not fun 00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:05.299 if not everyone consents yeah you want to make 00:00:05.299 --> 00:00:08.640 sure that it's 100 enthusiastically consensual 00:00:08.640 --> 00:00:11.900 every single time there's a no yeah period believing 00:00:11.900 --> 00:00:16.440 jealousy doesn't exist and more so on that like 00:00:16.440 --> 00:00:19.839 if you're a good swinger oh you're jealous oh 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:21.640 yeah good swingers just believing that jealousy 00:00:21.640 --> 00:00:24.359 is just such a bad thing and a horrible thing 00:00:24.359 --> 00:00:28.320 and i've said it once i've said it i'll say it 00:00:28.320 --> 00:00:32.240 a million times more it's a basic human emotion 00:00:32.240 --> 00:00:35.359 yeah people say if you're jealous you shouldn't 00:00:35.359 --> 00:00:37.859 be in the lifestyle you're horrible at the lifestyle 00:00:37.859 --> 00:00:41.159 if you feel jealousy and that i never got that 00:00:41.159 --> 00:00:43.420 like how are you horrible at the lifestyle jealousy 00:00:43.420 --> 00:00:47.039 happens jealousy exists even in the tightest 00:00:47.039 --> 00:00:50.240 most solid couples your jealousy is that i mean 00:00:50.240 --> 00:00:53.109 you felt it i've felt it It's a thing that pops 00:00:53.109 --> 00:00:55.670 up. Yeah. It's gonna happen. Welcome to Hot Couple 00:00:55.670 --> 00:00:58.450 Chronicles, a podcast exploring the singing lifestyle. 00:00:58.929 --> 00:01:01.409 Our discussions may contain explicit content 00:01:01.409 --> 00:01:04.030 and adult themes intended for mature audiences. 00:01:04.469 --> 00:01:06.930 While we strive to offer valuable insights and 00:01:06.930 --> 00:01:08.909 entertainment, please be aware that the views 00:01:08.909 --> 00:01:11.810 expressed are based on personal experiences and 00:01:11.810 --> 00:01:14.370 opinions. We encourage listeners to approach 00:01:14.370 --> 00:01:16.790 the content with an open mind and to prioritize 00:01:16.790 --> 00:01:19.689 communication, consent, and respect in their 00:01:19.689 --> 00:01:22.400 relationships. Remember, everyone's journey is 00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:24.879 unique, so take what resonates with you and leave 00:01:24.879 --> 00:01:27.060 what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on our 00:01:27.060 --> 00:01:51.799 adventure. I'm Russ and I'm Ashley and this is 00:01:51.799 --> 00:01:55.980 Hot Couple Chronicle. Welcome back. Welcome back. 00:01:55.980 --> 00:02:00.140 Happy Wednesday. You look pretty today. I'm trying. 00:02:00.500 --> 00:02:03.879 I love when you curl your hair like that. We 00:02:03.879 --> 00:02:05.719 were doing the podcast and then tonight we have 00:02:05.719 --> 00:02:12.000 dinner with friends. I'm trying here. Today we're 00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:14.400 going to talk about mistakes that we've made 00:02:14.400 --> 00:02:16.340 and others have made in the lifestyle that we 00:02:16.340 --> 00:02:19.719 wouldn't do again. We wanted to talk more about 00:02:19.719 --> 00:02:23.120 the lessons we've learned. We've all had what 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:27.340 the fuck moments. Why did we do that? I've been 00:02:27.340 --> 00:02:30.319 gathering some questions and different answers 00:02:30.319 --> 00:02:34.120 and stuff from people on Instagram and in our 00:02:34.120 --> 00:02:35.879 email and everything. So we're going to talk 00:02:35.879 --> 00:02:37.939 a little bit about that. I made a post a couple 00:02:37.939 --> 00:02:42.360 weeks ago naming our top five. Yeah. It went 00:02:42.360 --> 00:02:45.460 viral and did really well. You got a lot of responses 00:02:45.460 --> 00:02:48.620 to it. Yeah, for Instagram. post with educational 00:02:48.620 --> 00:02:51.360 stuff usually they don't do so well so it kind 00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:52.979 of inspired i figured we'd do a whole podcast 00:02:52.979 --> 00:02:55.560 and talk a little bit more about that all right 00:02:55.560 --> 00:02:59.120 first we're going to go into the top five things 00:02:59.120 --> 00:03:03.500 that i listed of mistakes that we have made that 00:03:03.500 --> 00:03:05.699 we wouldn't want to do again number one is going 00:03:05.699 --> 00:03:09.139 in without clear boundaries yeah that's just 00:03:09.139 --> 00:03:14.860 asking for hurt feelings and yeah Definitely 00:03:14.860 --> 00:03:17.479 recommend before going into anything. We didn't 00:03:17.479 --> 00:03:22.740 know. No, we were doing. We had no idea. But 00:03:22.740 --> 00:03:25.419 definitely before you continue into lifestyle 00:03:25.419 --> 00:03:27.199 and choose to be in lifestyle, make sure that 00:03:27.199 --> 00:03:30.199 you're discussing sitting down, figuring it out 00:03:30.199 --> 00:03:33.460 what it is that you want. Yeah, for sure. Why 00:03:33.460 --> 00:03:36.719 and rules and everything. It's good to have. 00:03:37.099 --> 00:03:40.219 Yeah, we had that conversation really late in 00:03:40.219 --> 00:03:43.860 the game. But to be fair. We didn't even know 00:03:43.860 --> 00:03:46.439 the lifestyle was... And we didn't identify as 00:03:46.439 --> 00:03:49.460 swingers to... We were just going to have fun. 00:03:49.520 --> 00:03:51.699 We were just going to have fun. Like, we would 00:03:51.699 --> 00:03:56.479 never. It wasn't until we really became swingers 00:03:56.479 --> 00:03:58.560 and decided we wanted to join the lifestyle that 00:03:58.560 --> 00:04:02.000 we even decided to have that conversation. Even 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:06.639 after we said, like, we owned the swinger title, 00:04:06.819 --> 00:04:10.930 I guess you would say, we... started having those 00:04:10.930 --> 00:04:14.710 conversations but it was really slow little a 00:04:14.710 --> 00:04:19.470 lot of small conversations and that build up 00:04:19.470 --> 00:04:23.949 to collectively it was our boundaries yeah and 00:04:23.949 --> 00:04:27.009 what we want and what we don't want and all of 00:04:27.009 --> 00:04:29.069 that it doesn't it can be like however you want 00:04:29.069 --> 00:04:31.899 it to look as long as you are clear Yeah, it's 00:04:31.899 --> 00:04:35.160 like we didn't sit down for hours and hours and 00:04:35.160 --> 00:04:37.980 hash it out like this is what I want. This is 00:04:37.980 --> 00:04:41.360 what I do not want. This is a hard boundary. 00:04:41.540 --> 00:04:46.500 It was a whole bunch of small conversations that 00:04:46.500 --> 00:04:51.439 and then even then we didn't really dive into 00:04:51.439 --> 00:04:55.759 it for a while. All right. Now, mistake number 00:04:55.759 --> 00:04:59.060 two, assuming everyone understands consent just 00:04:59.060 --> 00:05:02.189 because they are in lifestyle. And that is not. 00:05:02.370 --> 00:05:04.209 That is not the case. Unfortunately not true. 00:05:04.529 --> 00:05:06.589 Unfortunately. It should be the case. Should 00:05:06.589 --> 00:05:09.750 be. We've come a long way. It has come a long 00:05:09.750 --> 00:05:12.310 way since we first got into the lifestyle. Yes. 00:05:12.610 --> 00:05:14.790 I mean, there would be just people just come 00:05:14.790 --> 00:05:18.550 up and grab you. Oh, yeah. Especially early on. 00:05:18.589 --> 00:05:21.829 I remember having a really bad, hard time with 00:05:21.829 --> 00:05:26.550 people. Touching you. Yeah. Respecting. consent 00:05:26.550 --> 00:05:29.029 and respecting asking to before they touch and 00:05:29.029 --> 00:05:31.009 it used to be a really big problem luckily we 00:05:31.009 --> 00:05:33.470 haven't had that problem in quite a while i think 00:05:33.470 --> 00:05:35.029 because we've been well i think we've been so 00:05:35.029 --> 00:05:37.829 loud about the consent part i think that they 00:05:37.829 --> 00:05:41.089 can't ignore it yeah we're pretty loud yeah that's 00:05:41.089 --> 00:05:43.449 the only way to put it is we are very upfront 00:05:43.449 --> 00:05:46.449 and open about you know as everyone don't touch 00:05:46.449 --> 00:05:50.410 me unless you ask yeah you can look but you can't 00:05:50.410 --> 00:05:52.529 touch yeah make sure you ask before you touch 00:05:52.529 --> 00:05:56.069 very simple stuff but unfortunately especially 00:05:56.069 --> 00:05:58.250 with the older generation i feel like had a problem 00:05:58.250 --> 00:06:01.029 with it i think we had more of a problem with 00:06:01.029 --> 00:06:06.930 the older lifestyle now on that i still have 00:06:06.930 --> 00:06:13.529 like men are better yeah women i feel it's not 00:06:13.529 --> 00:06:16.970 all women but some a lot of women feel like they're 00:06:16.970 --> 00:06:19.689 not included it's just assumed that it's okay 00:06:19.689 --> 00:06:23.050 if they touch me yeah yeah unfortunately that's 00:06:23.050 --> 00:06:25.430 a lot of the case That's always been kind of... 00:06:25.430 --> 00:06:31.410 And it's not true. My consent is just as important 00:06:31.410 --> 00:06:37.490 as your consent. So I think that's our next journey 00:06:37.490 --> 00:06:42.529 is, hey, girls, it's you too. It doesn't just 00:06:42.529 --> 00:06:45.970 apply to males or females. One or the other, 00:06:46.009 --> 00:06:47.949 it should be everyone. You should be getting 00:06:47.949 --> 00:06:51.149 consent from everyone. And before group play, 00:06:51.250 --> 00:06:53.829 before you're playing with even a swap or... 00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:56.399 even one person anyone that needs to be a conversation 00:06:56.399 --> 00:06:58.540 beforehand that you consent and it doesn't have 00:06:58.540 --> 00:07:00.579 to be formal it doesn't have to be weird or awkward 00:07:00.579 --> 00:07:04.439 can be that's fine yeah i love it now because 00:07:04.439 --> 00:07:06.980 even when we go into group situations now like 00:07:06.980 --> 00:07:10.459 you hear the conversations yeah before play starts 00:07:10.459 --> 00:07:13.639 yes yeah it's a group conversation does anybody 00:07:13.639 --> 00:07:16.279 have any hard boundaries that we want to be aware 00:07:16.279 --> 00:07:18.480 of everyone consent to be here yeah everyone 00:07:18.480 --> 00:07:21.040 consent to this or that and i do yeah i do love 00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:26.689 hearing the difference and and you the last couple 00:07:26.689 --> 00:07:30.350 you can see where people have almost hit a boundary 00:07:30.350 --> 00:07:33.029 and like with their partner or something like 00:07:33.029 --> 00:07:37.170 that and everybody pauses and make sure that 00:07:37.170 --> 00:07:40.449 everybody's okay yeah like i love that yeah it's 00:07:40.449 --> 00:07:42.529 like oh shoot we're just having fun we don't 00:07:42.529 --> 00:07:44.430 it's not that serious you guys are more important 00:07:44.430 --> 00:07:47.410 than what's going on right now And so we make 00:07:47.410 --> 00:07:49.610 sure everybody's okay before we start playing 00:07:49.610 --> 00:07:52.149 again. Yeah, it's not fun if not everyone consents. 00:07:52.149 --> 00:07:55.649 Yeah. You want to make sure that it's 100 % enthusiastically 00:07:55.649 --> 00:07:58.149 consensual every single time. Make sure you have 00:07:58.149 --> 00:08:01.050 that conversation. It can be sexy. It can be, 00:08:01.149 --> 00:08:03.089 I've always wanted to do this. I've always wanted 00:08:03.089 --> 00:08:05.029 to try this with you. Would you be okay with 00:08:05.029 --> 00:08:08.730 this? It doesn't have to be so icky and official 00:08:08.730 --> 00:08:11.990 and weird. It doesn't have to be anything like 00:08:11.990 --> 00:08:13.930 that. Well, it's the same type of conversation 00:08:13.930 --> 00:08:17.379 you have with... the partners as well yes like 00:08:17.379 --> 00:08:21.720 man i would love your wife too yeah or that's 00:08:21.720 --> 00:08:23.680 a good way to do it too so there's ways to do 00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:25.819 it that are makes a little bit more like man 00:08:25.819 --> 00:08:28.399 we're vibing man i would love to do this to her 00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:32.220 or i've heard you this and they could they'll 00:08:32.220 --> 00:08:35.799 just be like nah or yeah that's fucking hot and 00:08:35.799 --> 00:08:37.580 then when someone says no don't you know yeah 00:08:37.580 --> 00:08:39.720 then if someone says no it's all right don't 00:08:39.720 --> 00:08:44.460 be defensive no you can't get defensive it's 00:08:44.759 --> 00:08:47.700 Anything but a yes is a no. Yeah. Period. And 00:08:47.700 --> 00:08:50.299 so you have to really, not only the words, but 00:08:50.299 --> 00:08:53.480 gauge their body language and everything that's 00:08:53.480 --> 00:08:55.620 going on. Not being pressured under the influence 00:08:55.620 --> 00:08:58.139 of alcohol or drugs or anything like that. It 00:08:58.139 --> 00:09:03.000 has to be consensual. Enthusiastic. Yes, yes, 00:09:03.039 --> 00:09:06.919 yes, yes. Emphasizing on enthusiastic. Enthusiastic. 00:09:07.059 --> 00:09:10.419 All right. So the third one is prioritizing others' 00:09:10.559 --> 00:09:13.809 pleasure over your own. worrying about everyone 00:09:13.809 --> 00:09:16.450 else getting off and having a great time, which 00:09:16.450 --> 00:09:19.730 is natural for me to normally do. I fell in that 00:09:19.730 --> 00:09:22.230 trap for a while. Yeah. Like I wasn't like, yeah, 00:09:22.269 --> 00:09:24.990 we were playing. Yeah. But I wasn't having a 00:09:24.990 --> 00:09:26.889 great time. Yeah, it was very performative. It 00:09:26.889 --> 00:09:30.370 was. Yeah. Yeah, it was. I was just going through 00:09:30.370 --> 00:09:32.549 the motions. Yeah. And then you step back and 00:09:32.549 --> 00:09:34.460 you're like, why are we here? if we're not having 00:09:34.460 --> 00:09:37.139 a pleasure and we're not enjoying the sex then 00:09:37.139 --> 00:09:39.159 what's the point in having yeah we're here to 00:09:39.159 --> 00:09:41.840 enjoy we have great sex by ourselves alone we 00:09:41.840 --> 00:09:45.860 don't need any of that to have that so if we're 00:09:45.860 --> 00:09:48.019 not here to enhance things why are you even here 00:09:48.019 --> 00:09:50.580 exactly that was definitely a big one that we 00:09:50.580 --> 00:09:53.879 got stuck into for quite a while i know me for 00:09:53.879 --> 00:09:57.080 sure and i think with the lf and the content 00:09:57.080 --> 00:09:59.460 creating and stuff it kind of does blur and it 00:09:59.460 --> 00:10:01.960 does become A little performative at moments. 00:10:02.179 --> 00:10:07.100 When you are a creator like you and you're on 00:10:07.100 --> 00:10:10.460 social media, it's hard to not let that side 00:10:10.460 --> 00:10:14.259 consume you. Definitely don't want to do that 00:10:14.259 --> 00:10:17.159 in swinging land when swinging is our thing, 00:10:17.240 --> 00:10:20.519 our private. We had multiple conversations about 00:10:20.519 --> 00:10:23.919 that and trying to figure out, okay, when is 00:10:23.919 --> 00:10:29.700 it work and when is it just us wilding out? you 00:10:29.700 --> 00:10:35.620 know like having fun like we had to really put 00:10:35.620 --> 00:10:38.659 those lines in place and talk before we go to 00:10:38.659 --> 00:10:42.340 an event or a takeover or a party but okay this 00:10:42.340 --> 00:10:45.480 is work yeah so we're going to have fun regardless 00:10:45.480 --> 00:10:52.279 but you know we're still working yeah and then 00:10:52.279 --> 00:10:56.100 where it's okay this is just us weekend we're 00:10:56.100 --> 00:11:01.120 not going to cut time out for content and tiktoks 00:11:01.120 --> 00:11:02.940 and pictures and stuff like that this is just 00:11:02.940 --> 00:11:06.179 going to be us and we had to draw those lines 00:11:06.179 --> 00:11:10.600 because it was consuming you for sure like you 00:11:10.600 --> 00:11:14.179 weren't having fun anymore yeah because you want 00:11:14.179 --> 00:11:16.879 to listen to yeah all the wants and the needs 00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:18.960 that you want that's the whole purpose that the 00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:20.820 reason that you're there exactly you're there 00:11:20.820 --> 00:11:24.879 to have a good time and to feel good yeah so 00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:28.759 don't worry so much about everybody else Just 00:11:28.759 --> 00:11:31.200 focus on what you want and how good it feels 00:11:31.200 --> 00:11:34.659 for you. Go from there. Looking for a fresh way 00:11:34.659 --> 00:11:37.179 to connect in the lifestyle? Welcome to The Playground, 00:11:37.320 --> 00:11:39.759 a modern space where open -minded adults meet, 00:11:39.879 --> 00:11:41.879 explore, and create unforgettable connections. 00:11:42.539 --> 00:11:44.779 Built for the lifestyle community, The Playground 00:11:44.779 --> 00:11:48.120 is where curiosity meets connection. Ready to 00:11:48.120 --> 00:11:50.139 join the fun? Click the link below and start 00:11:50.139 --> 00:12:29.179 your adventure with The Playground today. Mistake 00:12:29.179 --> 00:12:35.639 number four. Ignoring red flags at events. Or 00:12:35.639 --> 00:12:38.340 anywhere. Or anywhere. Really any red flag at 00:12:38.340 --> 00:12:41.039 all. Any gut feeling. I have come a long way 00:12:41.039 --> 00:12:43.919 in this last year or so. I have really become 00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:48.419 adamant about trusting my gut. Because I know 00:12:48.419 --> 00:12:51.299 better. You're my cage. If something happens. 00:12:51.820 --> 00:12:56.659 I don't have the, I don't even know what to call 00:12:56.659 --> 00:12:59.399 that. Intuition. intuition i don't know i just 00:12:59.399 --> 00:13:02.200 get a good feeling yeah i can just usually tell 00:13:02.200 --> 00:13:05.120 yeah like pretty fast if it's a good it's gonna 00:13:05.120 --> 00:13:06.899 be a good situation or a bad situation i can 00:13:06.899 --> 00:13:10.299 yeah it's a gut feeling and i have many many 00:13:10.299 --> 00:13:12.799 times chosen to ignore that feeling and every 00:13:12.799 --> 00:13:17.259 single time go back oh it took me it take because 00:13:17.259 --> 00:13:20.360 like i said you're my gauge there and it took 00:13:20.360 --> 00:13:24.509 me a while to just trust you because a lot of 00:13:24.509 --> 00:13:26.250 times i'm in the moment i think it's going to 00:13:26.250 --> 00:13:30.129 be fun like it's everybody's good you see something 00:13:30.129 --> 00:13:36.730 that i don't and then i question you or i tell 00:13:36.730 --> 00:13:39.970 you oh no it's fine it took me a long time to 00:13:39.970 --> 00:13:43.830 just being paranoid yeah just yeah just blame 00:13:43.830 --> 00:13:46.429 it on it's easy to blame it on anxiety stuff 00:13:46.429 --> 00:13:49.220 like that Where now it's just like, okay, like 00:13:49.220 --> 00:13:52.340 I believe you. Every single time I've said this 00:13:52.340 --> 00:13:55.000 isn't this person. I'm not vibing with this person. 00:13:55.080 --> 00:13:56.919 There's something about them or this couple or 00:13:56.919 --> 00:13:59.480 something. I've never, never, never been wrong 00:13:59.480 --> 00:14:02.539 ever. And so I've really just been, there's, 00:14:02.539 --> 00:14:04.500 you know, not everybody's going to be for you. 00:14:04.539 --> 00:14:06.340 There's so many people out there. A lot of that 00:14:06.340 --> 00:14:09.059 is the difference between a man's brain and a 00:14:09.059 --> 00:14:12.879 female's brain. Like you pick up on different 00:14:12.879 --> 00:14:16.240 things than I pick up on. Like you are definitely. 00:14:16.759 --> 00:14:20.820 more emotionally intelligent than i am and so 00:14:20.820 --> 00:14:23.679 you see things in a different from a different 00:14:23.679 --> 00:14:27.139 scope than i do and where i would see something 00:14:27.139 --> 00:14:33.759 where it's just a couple just kind of play you 00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:35.980 know barking back and forth or something like 00:14:35.980 --> 00:14:41.440 that you see it as nope red flag like Like that's 00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:42.960 not play fighting. That's real fighting. I'm 00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:44.919 like, ooh. There's like deep issues going on 00:14:44.919 --> 00:14:47.080 there. Yeah. Something bigger is going on. And 00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:49.059 like I said, there's another couple out there 00:14:49.059 --> 00:14:51.059 for you. You don't have to spend all your time 00:14:51.059 --> 00:14:53.860 and energy and focus on trying to fix people 00:14:53.860 --> 00:14:56.259 and trying to, you know, just some people are 00:14:56.259 --> 00:14:58.659 just people. Some people aren't the greatest. 00:14:58.700 --> 00:15:02.879 Some couples aren't, just aren't it. Yeah. And 00:15:02.879 --> 00:15:05.519 just go with your gut. If you see anything that 00:15:05.519 --> 00:15:08.779 makes you feel uneasy or you just don't like, 00:15:08.899 --> 00:15:11.529 you don't have to. be a part of it and you can 00:15:11.529 --> 00:15:14.269 remove yourself quietly, nicely. Remove yourself. 00:15:14.549 --> 00:15:16.509 It's all as simple as it is. We've done that. 00:15:16.730 --> 00:15:19.049 We were actually pretty good at doing that from 00:15:19.049 --> 00:15:23.750 the beginning. Because we had some people with 00:15:23.750 --> 00:15:26.389 red flags that were very aggressive in the beginning. 00:15:26.950 --> 00:15:31.370 We had to quietly remove ourselves without really 00:15:31.370 --> 00:15:37.070 just hurting, like being like, no. all right 00:15:37.070 --> 00:15:40.090 mistake number five believing jealousy doesn't 00:15:40.090 --> 00:15:44.149 exist and more so on that like if you're a good 00:15:44.149 --> 00:15:47.750 swinger oh jealous oh yeah good swingers just 00:15:47.750 --> 00:15:50.450 believing that jealousy is just such a bad thing 00:15:50.450 --> 00:15:54.149 and a horrible thing and i've said it once i've 00:15:54.149 --> 00:15:56.909 said it i'll say it a million times more it's 00:15:56.909 --> 00:16:01.450 a basic human emotion yeah people say if you're 00:16:01.450 --> 00:16:03.840 jealous you shouldn't be in the lifestyle you're 00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:06.200 horrible at the lifestyle if you feel jealousy 00:16:06.200 --> 00:16:09.000 and that i never got that like how are you horrible 00:16:09.000 --> 00:16:12.899 at the lifestyle yeah i know and how do you yeah 00:16:12.899 --> 00:16:17.279 i never like i never everybody has their own 00:16:17.279 --> 00:16:21.379 journey and again jealousy is normal jealousy 00:16:21.379 --> 00:16:24.340 is okay and what you do with it also it's sometimes 00:16:24.340 --> 00:16:28.259 it takes couples to get into the lifestyle to 00:16:28.259 --> 00:16:31.750 actually find out it's not for them no No, it's 00:16:31.750 --> 00:16:33.389 not for everyone. It's not for everyone. We're 00:16:33.389 --> 00:16:35.409 not trying to sell it to everybody. It shows 00:16:35.409 --> 00:16:37.590 how comfortable they are in their relationship 00:16:37.590 --> 00:16:40.929 that they are willing to explore it and then 00:16:40.929 --> 00:16:43.429 recognize that, okay, this really isn't for us. 00:16:43.590 --> 00:16:47.429 And then they step back. It's that simple. Jealousy 00:16:47.429 --> 00:16:50.830 happens. Jealousy exists. Even in the tightest, 00:16:50.830 --> 00:16:53.850 most solid couples, your jealousy is a thing 00:16:53.850 --> 00:16:57.710 that pops up. It's a thing that pops up. It's 00:16:57.710 --> 00:17:00.740 going to happen. So that's not true. Not true. 00:17:01.179 --> 00:17:03.620 And for the next segment, we have gotten a list 00:17:03.620 --> 00:17:07.640 of stuff. A lot of people interacted and submitted 00:17:07.640 --> 00:17:09.700 their own mistakes that they've made and lessons 00:17:09.700 --> 00:17:12.140 that they learned. So I have a list of those. 00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:14.880 Number six would have and was going to be also 00:17:14.880 --> 00:17:18.160 on the list. I was between the last one and this 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:20.599 one. And it's taking one for the team. And I've 00:17:20.599 --> 00:17:23.240 gotten that so many times. So many people have 00:17:23.240 --> 00:17:27.200 made that mistake. Including us. Yeah. Including 00:17:27.200 --> 00:17:30.839 us. I think everybody has. I feel like we've 00:17:30.839 --> 00:17:36.319 all been there. So. My favorite stories are. 00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:40.279 Because we've both done it. We've both. More 00:17:40.279 --> 00:17:43.640 than once. We've made the mistake. But they're 00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:48.720 so nice. We always say they're so nice. My favorite 00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:55.160 ones are. When we don't. We misread each other's 00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:59.549 cues. And we both take one for the team. And 00:17:59.549 --> 00:18:01.529 then we don't realize it until after the fact. 00:18:02.130 --> 00:18:06.109 We've learned that lesson. I wanted to add that 00:18:06.109 --> 00:18:09.490 to my list. It was almost on there. And I knew 00:18:09.490 --> 00:18:11.269 everyone was going to be coming back with that 00:18:11.269 --> 00:18:14.589 one. Because I think almost all of us have been 00:18:14.589 --> 00:18:18.170 in a situation where they're not 100 % turned 00:18:18.170 --> 00:18:20.950 on with the person. They can sit and everything. 00:18:22.099 --> 00:18:24.299 We've all been there and we turn not to make 00:18:24.299 --> 00:18:26.039 that mistake anymore. That's one that we definitely 00:18:26.039 --> 00:18:29.079 have. My favorite. I'll look at you and be like, 00:18:29.099 --> 00:18:32.599 we're not doing that. We're not doing that. We 00:18:32.599 --> 00:18:35.079 stopped doing that. Some of my favorite stories 00:18:35.079 --> 00:18:39.539 that we still laugh about are when we're both 00:18:39.539 --> 00:18:42.480 taking one for the team and we realize it in 00:18:42.480 --> 00:18:45.500 the middle of a play session. We look each other. 00:18:46.720 --> 00:18:53.900 You ready? You ready? You good? Don't do that. 00:18:54.559 --> 00:18:58.599 We've learned the hard way. Yes. The next one 00:18:58.599 --> 00:19:01.799 is one that someone said, never play with more 00:19:01.799 --> 00:19:05.019 than you can handle. One guy can't realistically 00:19:05.019 --> 00:19:08.619 pleasure four women at the same time. So it took 00:19:08.619 --> 00:19:11.740 me a long time to just have, like, to be with 00:19:11.740 --> 00:19:15.039 two women at one time. It's a lot. going on there's 00:19:15.039 --> 00:19:17.960 a lot because yeah like it's that's a that's 00:19:17.960 --> 00:19:20.559 a lot of work that's a lot of work i mean every 00:19:20.559 --> 00:19:26.079 man knows and woman knows that the female orgasm 00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:28.660 is completely different than the male orgasm 00:19:28.660 --> 00:19:33.440 takes much more time and it takes a lot more 00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:37.680 attention and to just get one female to orgasm 00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:43.180 when you have two Not just two, but two straight 00:19:43.180 --> 00:19:48.680 women. It's different if they're bi because then 00:19:48.680 --> 00:19:54.319 they play with each other. But two straight women 00:19:54.319 --> 00:19:58.180 that are just strictly focused on you, that is 00:19:58.180 --> 00:20:03.180 hard to balance. Because then you're literally 00:20:03.180 --> 00:20:06.200 trying to pleasure everybody at once. It's a 00:20:06.200 --> 00:20:09.220 lot. I'm telling you, it is a lot. It's a lot. 00:20:10.349 --> 00:20:12.849 Not for everybody. It's not. All right. Hey, 00:20:12.890 --> 00:20:14.690 beautiful. If you're looking to feel confident 00:20:14.690 --> 00:20:16.809 and sexy, Voluptuous Fixin' has got you covered 00:20:16.809 --> 00:20:19.109 with stunning lingerie and outfits that fit every 00:20:19.109 --> 00:20:21.829 curve. And for our listeners, you can snag 10 00:20:21.829 --> 00:20:25.390 % off your order with code HOTCOUPLENGA at checkout. 00:20:25.730 --> 00:20:27.670 Don't miss out. Check out the link below and 00:20:27.670 --> 00:20:35.750 find your next favorite piece. The next one is 00:20:35.750 --> 00:20:39.829 invite a couple to your house on your first date. 00:20:41.789 --> 00:20:44.910 I already know how that could go bad. Yeah. We've 00:20:44.910 --> 00:20:46.349 never done that. We've never done that. But we 00:20:46.349 --> 00:20:48.390 have been to a couple's house on the first date. 00:20:48.690 --> 00:20:51.650 Yeah. Yeah, we have. It was just as awkward for 00:20:51.650 --> 00:20:54.069 us as I'm sure it was for them because they had 00:20:54.069 --> 00:20:56.789 never done anything lifestyle. They were super, 00:20:56.829 --> 00:20:59.730 super, super new. And we just were like hanging 00:20:59.730 --> 00:21:01.869 out at their house. Yeah. It was late at night. 00:21:02.170 --> 00:21:05.450 Yeah. After the bomb. It was. Yeah. So that one, 00:21:05.609 --> 00:21:08.069 like we went to their house, like we did play 00:21:08.069 --> 00:21:11.349 with them. Yeah. But we went to their house two 00:21:11.349 --> 00:21:13.109 or three times before we actually played with 00:21:13.109 --> 00:21:16.049 them because no one could get, I never like, 00:21:16.190 --> 00:21:22.009 I never got the vibe that to start playing, to 00:21:22.009 --> 00:21:25.130 make the move. But they were so new and so young. 00:21:25.250 --> 00:21:28.289 They were young. They were very young. And they, 00:21:28.410 --> 00:21:32.039 we were at their house. And so, yeah. But yeah, 00:21:32.079 --> 00:21:34.240 it always makes it awkward. That's why I would 00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:36.059 definitely always prefer to meet at a restaurant 00:21:36.059 --> 00:21:39.579 or a club or a place that's neutral. A good space 00:21:39.579 --> 00:21:41.779 where you can excuse yourself a little bit easier. 00:21:41.799 --> 00:21:43.240 It's a little harder when you're at your own 00:21:43.240 --> 00:21:46.140 house especially because you have to kick people 00:21:46.140 --> 00:21:48.220 out of your home pretty much and be the nicest 00:21:48.220 --> 00:21:50.960 possible doing it. It always makes things a little 00:21:50.960 --> 00:21:54.779 bit... I've also heard horror stories of it going 00:21:54.779 --> 00:21:59.769 bad and the couple getting in a fight. like physical 00:21:59.769 --> 00:22:02.130 altercations and then the first date you don't 00:22:02.130 --> 00:22:05.049 even know the people at all so you have no idea 00:22:05.049 --> 00:22:07.410 who in the heck or what they're like together 00:22:07.410 --> 00:22:10.190 their chemistry and yeah yeah just don't do that 00:22:10.190 --> 00:22:13.190 yeah don't recommend you're out of time and then 00:22:13.190 --> 00:22:16.009 never change rules when you're drunk or in the 00:22:16.009 --> 00:22:19.910 middle of play yeah never that's a big yeah huge 00:22:19.910 --> 00:22:21.809 one that definitely should be on there definitely 00:22:21.809 --> 00:22:23.990 do not break rules when you're in the middle 00:22:23.990 --> 00:22:27.450 of whatever yeah you're not going Don't change 00:22:27.450 --> 00:22:30.769 things. Don't adjust boundaries. In the middle 00:22:30.769 --> 00:22:33.230 of play, even if you're completely sober, that 00:22:33.230 --> 00:22:37.329 is not the time to be like, hey, I'm going to 00:22:37.329 --> 00:22:41.089 do this now. Hope you're okay with it. That's 00:22:41.089 --> 00:22:43.069 not the time or place to have that conversation. 00:22:43.789 --> 00:22:48.750 You stay within the boundaries and then afterwards, 00:22:49.170 --> 00:22:51.630 that's a conversation you can have at a later 00:22:51.630 --> 00:22:55.579 time. Like, hey, I think I want to... try this 00:22:55.579 --> 00:22:57.819 next time i know we've talked about it but how 00:22:57.819 --> 00:22:59.759 do you feel about it now that we have a little 00:22:59.759 --> 00:23:01.799 bit it's always okay to adjust and yeah boundaries 00:23:01.799 --> 00:23:03.880 and everything but definitely don't do it when 00:23:03.880 --> 00:23:05.500 you're under the influence when you can't consider 00:23:05.500 --> 00:23:08.079 no and when you're in those are later conversations 00:23:08.079 --> 00:23:13.200 and do it in private every 90 of the time your 00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:17.880 boundaries and rules are going to adjust because 00:23:17.880 --> 00:23:20.920 but they're also there for a reason exactly to 00:23:20.920 --> 00:23:23.099 address that reason in the middle yeah stuff 00:23:23.099 --> 00:23:27.160 like that it's just not But when you're adjusting 00:23:27.160 --> 00:23:29.880 your boundaries, that means the reason that boundary 00:23:29.880 --> 00:23:34.799 was there is no longer a problem. You don't change 00:23:34.799 --> 00:23:36.420 the boundary just to make your partner happy 00:23:36.420 --> 00:23:40.160 either. You're changing the boundary because 00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:45.900 you're both comfortable with it. Okay. Never 00:23:45.900 --> 00:23:48.839 hard swap with a couple that indulges in substances 00:23:48.839 --> 00:23:52.000 that we aren't comfortable consuming. and that 00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:55.359 goes back to just same with the last one anytime 00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:57.240 you're under the influence of anything you can't 00:23:57.240 --> 00:24:00.539 consent and also it's not fun it's sloppy yeah 00:24:00.539 --> 00:24:02.500 it's not it's usually not a good time anyway 00:24:02.500 --> 00:24:04.900 if you're yeah if people aren't in the right 00:24:04.900 --> 00:24:07.079 frame of mind and everyone's not present i definitely 00:24:07.079 --> 00:24:10.220 prefer sober and at least you know for the most 00:24:10.220 --> 00:24:12.680 part yeah i definitely prefer sober like a couple 00:24:12.680 --> 00:24:15.720 drinks is fine but past that it just starts to 00:24:15.720 --> 00:24:19.359 get a little bit Not fun. A couple drinks is 00:24:19.359 --> 00:24:23.140 fine. That's just like a social lubricant. But 00:24:23.140 --> 00:24:27.700 when you get to anything not that or too much 00:24:27.700 --> 00:24:35.299 of it's not like you don't feel anything. Everything 00:24:35.299 --> 00:24:38.279 goes up. You're not experiencing the sensations 00:24:38.279 --> 00:24:42.500 and everything that you want to feel because 00:24:42.500 --> 00:24:47.319 you're not all there. It's just not good. Don't 00:24:47.319 --> 00:24:51.299 do it. Yeah. Don't do it. The next one, not discussing 00:24:51.299 --> 00:24:54.839 the experience afterwards. Yeah, you definitely 00:24:54.839 --> 00:24:58.140 need to unpack. And some people prefer not to 00:24:58.140 --> 00:25:03.119 know details and not to talk about it, but. I, 00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:06.259 let's see. I can only speak from our experience 00:25:06.259 --> 00:25:11.279 and it's, we enjoy watching each other. Yeah. 00:25:12.940 --> 00:25:16.549 So. When we talk about it, it's like reliving 00:25:16.549 --> 00:25:19.349 those moments. So it might be different. Some 00:25:19.349 --> 00:25:21.890 people don't love to hear details and hear the 00:25:21.890 --> 00:25:25.029 ins and outs about everything that someone does. 00:25:25.089 --> 00:25:28.529 But for overall the experience as a whole, it's 00:25:28.529 --> 00:25:31.230 good for you and your partner to discuss that 00:25:31.230 --> 00:25:34.049 part. I think it's part of growing and part of 00:25:34.049 --> 00:25:36.329 being in the lifestyle and evolving and stuff. 00:25:36.349 --> 00:25:39.569 It's good to get it out there and just talk about 00:25:39.569 --> 00:25:41.450 your experience. You don't have to if that's 00:25:41.450 --> 00:25:44.039 your thing. You don't have to get into the nitty 00:25:44.039 --> 00:25:47.140 -gritty details. It kind of goes back to your 00:25:47.140 --> 00:25:52.380 wants and needs and desires. I desired this. 00:25:52.440 --> 00:25:57.440 I wanted this. I got this. This happened. Didn't 00:25:57.440 --> 00:26:00.660 love it. Let's not do that anymore or for a while. 00:26:01.079 --> 00:26:04.480 Back off a little bit. All right. And then the 00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:07.000 big one, another big one. that was going to make 00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:09.740 my list as well is jumping into fast rushing 00:26:09.740 --> 00:26:13.279 thin things instead of easing your way into the 00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:15.339 lifestyle and i think that's a big mistake that 00:26:15.339 --> 00:26:17.700 a lot of people make i think yeah everybody gets 00:26:17.700 --> 00:26:20.319 very excited yeah i always talk about that cocaine 00:26:20.319 --> 00:26:23.480 effect it's very it's a rush you get into that 00:26:23.480 --> 00:26:27.500 environment and you kind of get consumed and 00:26:27.500 --> 00:26:33.680 you start doing things that you think is okay 00:26:34.170 --> 00:26:36.789 but before you talked about it like you're just 00:26:36.789 --> 00:26:42.029 assuming it's okay yeah and you're jumping you're 00:26:42.029 --> 00:26:43.910 jumping in way too fast you're going in head 00:26:43.910 --> 00:26:47.049 first usually without any communication without 00:26:47.049 --> 00:26:52.670 communication just and it's nine times out of 00:26:52.670 --> 00:26:55.410 ten it ends badly yeah slow down it's not a race 00:26:55.410 --> 00:26:57.289 we always say that's one of our biggest tips 00:26:57.289 --> 00:26:59.509 that we tell everybody is to just if you're vibing 00:26:59.509 --> 00:27:02.650 with a couple and you're one of you isn't ready 00:27:02.650 --> 00:27:09.220 to swap or play with it anybody else it's okay 00:27:09.220 --> 00:27:11.579 your vibes there you're going to have another 00:27:11.579 --> 00:27:15.160 chance yeah you'll connect and the more you connect 00:27:15.160 --> 00:27:17.160 and the more often you see each other and the 00:27:17.160 --> 00:27:18.359 more you're around each other you don't have 00:27:18.359 --> 00:27:21.420 to do sexually but that does help in the long 00:27:21.420 --> 00:27:27.500 run yeah get comfortable and be yeah be and be 00:27:27.500 --> 00:27:31.009 and be and be Alright, for the next segment, 00:27:31.069 --> 00:27:33.329 we're going to talk about unspoken lessons no 00:27:33.329 --> 00:27:36.130 one warned us about. We're going to warn you 00:27:36.130 --> 00:27:39.210 guys about. That's what we're here for. First 00:27:39.210 --> 00:27:41.950 one is the lifestyle won't fix a broken relationship. 00:27:43.630 --> 00:27:48.789 Yeah, 100%. It will expose. Just like having 00:27:48.789 --> 00:27:51.609 a kid to save your marriage. Same idea. It's 00:27:51.609 --> 00:27:54.529 not going to make it any better. It's only going 00:27:54.529 --> 00:27:59.119 to amplify all of the things. People think In 00:27:59.119 --> 00:28:02.200 the beginning. It is helping. Yes. Because there's 00:28:02.200 --> 00:28:06.319 that honeymoon. That adrenaline rush. Yeah. Excitement. 00:28:06.519 --> 00:28:09.559 And they. Hot people. Everywhere. Hot people. 00:28:09.619 --> 00:28:11.619 And then. You get to touch. Your sex with your 00:28:11.619 --> 00:28:14.039 partner is really hot. Because you can't go on. 00:28:14.140 --> 00:28:17.500 Yeah. Because it's just sexy. Yeah. But that's 00:28:17.500 --> 00:28:22.339 when. Relationships become sex based. Which sex 00:28:22.339 --> 00:28:25.900 is an important part of your relationship. But 00:28:25.900 --> 00:28:30.519 it can't be sex based. Yeah. And that's where 00:28:30.519 --> 00:28:36.779 it's going to expose a lot of the fractures in 00:28:36.779 --> 00:28:39.160 your relationship. It will not save your marriage. 00:28:39.279 --> 00:28:41.559 You need to be going into this lifestyle with 00:28:41.559 --> 00:28:44.640 a strong foundation or you are going to be in 00:28:44.640 --> 00:28:47.440 trouble. You can build the best house in the 00:28:47.440 --> 00:28:49.940 world but the foundation isn't there. It's just 00:28:49.940 --> 00:28:53.339 going to crumble. All the old people sayings. 00:28:53.359 --> 00:28:57.440 All the old sayings. All the cliches. All the 00:28:57.440 --> 00:29:00.140 things that applies here definitely work on your 00:29:00.140 --> 00:29:04.480 foundation before you build on it because it 00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:09.720 will yeah 100 expose all the cracks faster and 00:29:09.720 --> 00:29:15.200 then the next one friendships can get messy i 00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:21.700 feel like they can yeah especially when you involve 00:29:21.700 --> 00:29:24.400 people that don't have strong foundations and 00:29:24.400 --> 00:29:26.339 have right that's what i was gonna get i was 00:29:26.339 --> 00:29:31.650 trying to word that is people, well, they don't 00:29:31.650 --> 00:29:34.869 have strong foundations and other people that 00:29:34.869 --> 00:29:37.250 don't understand the boundaries that you and 00:29:37.250 --> 00:29:41.410 your partner have and they cross your boundaries. 00:29:41.809 --> 00:29:43.930 Because you need to set boundaries for your friends 00:29:43.930 --> 00:29:46.710 as well as. Yeah. And then so you don't, when 00:29:46.710 --> 00:29:50.990 you don't trust your friends, then you, you try 00:29:50.990 --> 00:29:52.990 and bring it up to them. If they're not good, 00:29:53.089 --> 00:29:56.329 they get defensive and yeah, it can be a whole 00:29:56.329 --> 00:29:57.910 thing. Just like any other friendship. You have 00:29:57.910 --> 00:30:00.769 to work and put effort into it and it's complicated 00:30:00.769 --> 00:30:03.210 and it can get messy. But then you add sex on 00:30:03.210 --> 00:30:05.470 top of it and marriages and relationships and 00:30:05.470 --> 00:30:09.210 stuff. So the chance of things going bad are 00:30:09.210 --> 00:30:11.309 a little bit higher. And, you know, set those 00:30:11.309 --> 00:30:13.509 boundaries with your friends or even non -lifestyle 00:30:13.509 --> 00:30:16.349 friends. You should be setting boundaries. All 00:30:16.349 --> 00:30:18.690 of our friends know that we put our family first, 00:30:18.829 --> 00:30:21.829 that we are usually 99 % of the time busy with 00:30:21.829 --> 00:30:24.529 kids and life and work and family and all of 00:30:24.529 --> 00:30:27.750 that. And it's hard to get. together and it's 00:30:27.750 --> 00:30:31.430 not the easiest and we do struggle to get date 00:30:31.430 --> 00:30:33.670 nights in and stuff with people and you have 00:30:33.670 --> 00:30:35.089 to be a little bit more patient with us because 00:30:35.089 --> 00:30:38.730 we do this is what we do for fun yeah this is 00:30:38.730 --> 00:30:42.549 most part this is our free time yeah we don't 00:30:42.549 --> 00:30:45.109 have that much of it so we try to as much as 00:30:45.109 --> 00:30:47.630 possible what helps you know we do share it with 00:30:47.630 --> 00:30:51.170 you guys but it is a little bit more complicated 00:30:51.170 --> 00:30:53.230 and stuff so set those boundaries and make sure 00:30:53.230 --> 00:30:56.420 that you yeah that kind of goes back to the part 00:30:56.420 --> 00:31:00.140 where your boundaries like set your boundaries 00:31:00.140 --> 00:31:03.539 before you even get into it everybody period 00:31:03.539 --> 00:31:05.880 with everybody with everyone yourself everyone 00:31:05.880 --> 00:31:09.000 yeah all the boundaries yes and then handling 00:31:09.000 --> 00:31:11.579 lifestyle burnout because that's a real thing 00:31:11.579 --> 00:31:14.559 yeah and it's okay to take breaks i know we know 00:31:14.559 --> 00:31:18.059 a lot of couples that do take breaks but hot 00:31:18.059 --> 00:31:20.359 take though hot take we actually discussed this 00:31:20.359 --> 00:31:22.640 not too long ago we had a late night discussion 00:31:22.640 --> 00:31:28.890 on this but I feel like if you... I don't know. 00:31:28.930 --> 00:31:30.509 I don't want to make anyone mad, but I think 00:31:30.509 --> 00:31:32.470 that if you step away from the lifestyle and 00:31:32.470 --> 00:31:34.170 you stop being in the lifestyle, that usually 00:31:34.170 --> 00:31:37.269 is a red flag for me. I don't know. I think a 00:31:37.269 --> 00:31:39.230 lot of the couples that say that they're taking 00:31:39.230 --> 00:31:42.970 a break from the lifestyle are... Yeah, we did 00:31:42.970 --> 00:31:44.349 talk about that. It's usually a marriage issue. 00:31:44.650 --> 00:31:48.569 Yeah. Also... And it's okay to not actively swing 00:31:48.569 --> 00:31:50.390 and not go to events and not go to clubs and 00:31:50.390 --> 00:31:52.529 not do all of that, but to remove yourself completely 00:31:52.529 --> 00:31:55.519 from being... a swinger in the lifestyle and 00:31:55.519 --> 00:31:58.339 stuff that yeah when you completely ostracize 00:31:58.339 --> 00:32:00.960 yourself for a while and then come back like 00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:02.900 nothing happened it's always a red flag that's 00:32:02.900 --> 00:32:08.039 a that is a red flag because we build real friendships 00:32:08.039 --> 00:32:13.299 in the lifestyle yeah if any of our friends in 00:32:13.299 --> 00:32:16.380 the lifestyle just all of a sudden just stopped 00:32:16.380 --> 00:32:18.220 communicating with us and said well we're not 00:32:18.220 --> 00:32:19.980 in the lifestyle like well i thought we were 00:32:19.980 --> 00:32:23.089 friends yeah yeah I think because the definition 00:32:23.089 --> 00:32:27.069 of lifestyle is it's your lifestyle. It's the 00:32:27.069 --> 00:32:29.509 way that you live. That is something. Another 00:32:29.509 --> 00:32:34.089 hot take. Hot take. People call this a hobby. 00:32:34.890 --> 00:32:39.150 Yeah. But it's a lifestyle. When can everybody 00:32:39.150 --> 00:32:42.750 just own it? You know what I mean? For some people, 00:32:42.809 --> 00:32:44.769 they do it once a year and they go to Hedo and 00:32:44.769 --> 00:32:48.069 come home. And it is like a... So I feel like 00:32:48.069 --> 00:32:51.900 that's the... For me, again... that's there between 00:32:51.900 --> 00:32:54.579 the lifestyle and swingers i mean a swinger yeah 00:32:54.579 --> 00:32:58.799 yeah or being like a exhibition like i don't 00:32:58.799 --> 00:33:02.920 feel like those two words are synonymous yeah 00:33:02.920 --> 00:33:05.279 i think if you're saying lifestyle that you're 00:33:05.279 --> 00:33:07.680 not monogamous it's part of who you are as a 00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:10.880 human being so yeah and it's i mean it's okay 00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:13.220 to not go to events and not go to parties and 00:33:13.220 --> 00:33:15.579 not do all of that and everything else and it's 00:33:15.579 --> 00:33:17.799 okay to take breaks and it is overwhelming i 00:33:17.799 --> 00:33:21.039 get that i do but yeah it can be a lot not just 00:33:21.039 --> 00:33:26.799 emotionally and physically but financially oh 00:33:26.799 --> 00:33:29.180 yeah oh yeah it's not cheap it is expensive not 00:33:29.180 --> 00:33:33.500 cheap to be here no so yeah i get people taking 00:33:33.500 --> 00:33:37.279 breaks but it's the people that have to feel 00:33:37.279 --> 00:33:40.559 like they have to announce it yeah yeah that 00:33:40.559 --> 00:33:43.359 yeah it's the people that it's the same for people 00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:45.559 that like focusing on their marriage usually 00:33:45.559 --> 00:33:47.819 it's because there's something in the marriage 00:33:47.819 --> 00:33:50.059 and that's okay to do that and focus on that 00:33:50.059 --> 00:33:53.099 but yeah it should be something that you're doing 00:33:53.099 --> 00:33:57.319 every day anyway yeah like i don't know i guess 00:33:57.319 --> 00:33:59.380 it's just hard to understand when it is such 00:33:59.380 --> 00:34:01.680 a part of our life because we've taken breaks 00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:05.799 i'd say we've stepped away but we were still 00:34:05.799 --> 00:34:08.699 in the lifestyle We still talk to our friends. 00:34:08.980 --> 00:34:12.119 We're still swingers. That's what I was going 00:34:12.119 --> 00:34:16.320 to say. We were actively playing and going to 00:34:16.320 --> 00:34:20.440 the club or clubs and takeovers and stuff like 00:34:20.440 --> 00:34:24.719 that. We're still talking with our circle and 00:34:24.719 --> 00:34:27.219 our friends and being a part of it online. We 00:34:27.219 --> 00:34:31.980 are real friends. They're real friends. People 00:34:31.980 --> 00:34:35.519 that announced their exit and then cut everyone 00:34:35.519 --> 00:34:41.750 off. that tells me that you don't want anybody 00:34:41.750 --> 00:34:45.590 to see what's actually going on yeah just a red 00:34:45.590 --> 00:34:47.989 flag just and it's not and red flags aren't don't 00:34:47.989 --> 00:34:50.829 mean it's like end all be all it is just a little 00:34:50.829 --> 00:34:52.409 thing to keep an eye on that's what i always 00:34:52.409 --> 00:34:54.269 try to tell people people get so defensive when 00:34:54.269 --> 00:34:56.489 i say that's a red flag it doesn't mean that 00:34:56.489 --> 00:34:59.829 it's it's not it's toxic or it's a no completely 00:34:59.829 --> 00:35:02.889 shut down it's just something that i keep an 00:35:02.889 --> 00:35:05.269 eye on and again with that gut feeling it's just 00:35:05.269 --> 00:35:08.690 something that i I watch and I look and I observe 00:35:08.690 --> 00:35:11.110 and... Everyone has red flags. Just a warning. 00:35:11.750 --> 00:35:14.230 Everyone has red flags. Oh, I have so many. Yeah. 00:35:14.610 --> 00:35:16.809 Like, I have red flags. You have red flags. Like, 00:35:16.809 --> 00:35:18.730 we all have red flags. It's just a warning. Just 00:35:18.730 --> 00:35:25.030 a little... I feel like there are more cues onto 00:35:25.030 --> 00:35:27.630 if... Are you going to mesh with that person 00:35:27.630 --> 00:35:29.530 or not? Yeah. And everyone's like... Like, are 00:35:29.530 --> 00:35:32.889 their red flags not copacetic with your red flags? 00:35:33.190 --> 00:35:36.530 That's okay. That's okay. That's all right. Hey 00:35:36.530 --> 00:35:38.570 there listeners, are you looking to prioritize 00:35:38.570 --> 00:35:41.030 your sexual health and wellness? We've got just 00:35:41.030 --> 00:35:43.590 the thing for you. Shameless Care offers at -home 00:35:43.590 --> 00:35:46.570 testing kits, telehealth consultations, and even 00:35:46.570 --> 00:35:48.750 treatment for ED and performance anxiety for 00:35:48.750 --> 00:35:50.769 when you want to play but your body says otherwise. 00:35:51.210 --> 00:35:53.889 It's convenient, discreet, and all about keeping 00:35:53.889 --> 00:35:56.489 you at your best. And guess what? We've teamed 00:35:56.489 --> 00:35:58.170 up with them to give you an exclusive discount. 00:35:58.409 --> 00:36:01.309 Use code HOT, that's code H -O -T, at checkout 00:36:01.309 --> 00:36:04.800 to get $30 off your first order. Don't walk, 00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:07.280 run. It's time to take charge of your sexual 00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:10.340 health today with shameless care because your 00:36:10.340 --> 00:36:17.579 health is nothing to be ashamed of. All right, 00:36:17.619 --> 00:36:20.179 next segment. What would you tell your past self? 00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:22.440 If we could go back in time, what advice would 00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:25.579 you give yourself? Like how far back in time? 00:36:25.679 --> 00:36:28.039 Probably the beginning, I'd say. Like the lifestyle? 00:36:28.059 --> 00:36:31.380 First day. Or like 18? No, lifestyle. Lifestyle. 00:36:31.480 --> 00:36:33.639 Because if it was my 18, like... You're not going 00:36:33.639 --> 00:36:38.039 to believe this shit. Lifestyle. Well, hang on. 00:36:39.079 --> 00:36:47.199 Just wait. But not lifestyle. I would tell my 00:36:47.199 --> 00:36:52.119 younger self what we say every single week. It's 00:36:52.119 --> 00:36:55.320 not that serious. Don't make it weird. There's 00:36:55.320 --> 00:36:56.880 a reason we say that. It's not just something 00:36:56.880 --> 00:37:01.280 we say. It's part of our everyday. phrase we 00:37:01.280 --> 00:37:05.280 say all the time um i would say that oh you are 00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:08.320 attractive people do find you attractive your 00:37:08.320 --> 00:37:13.579 penis is big enough what else get comfortable 00:37:13.579 --> 00:37:15.579 being uncomfortable it's okay to be uncomfortable 00:37:15.579 --> 00:37:17.519 we've said that one way before the lifestyle 00:37:17.519 --> 00:37:20.539 okay to be comfortable uncomfortable that's when 00:37:20.539 --> 00:37:22.380 the best things happen when you're uncomfortable 00:37:22.380 --> 00:37:26.190 yeah don't be afraid to voice how you feel or 00:37:26.190 --> 00:37:28.570 what you want your needs your wants how you're 00:37:28.570 --> 00:37:30.929 feeling yeah you're uncomfortable anything at 00:37:30.929 --> 00:37:33.849 all be comfortable speaking up for yourself and 00:37:33.849 --> 00:37:35.349 standing up for yourself because you do and you 00:37:35.349 --> 00:37:37.349 will have to in the lifestyle you will have to 00:37:37.349 --> 00:37:40.110 be a voice for yourself and your partner and 00:37:40.110 --> 00:37:43.570 your friends and the lifestyle in general we 00:37:43.570 --> 00:37:47.130 are but don't be so scared it's okay to not like 00:37:47.130 --> 00:37:49.809 things to like things to have an opinion it's 00:37:49.809 --> 00:37:53.489 okay yeah it's It's okay to have an opinion. 00:37:53.750 --> 00:37:56.090 It's okay to not be okay with everything. Their 00:37:56.090 --> 00:38:00.230 emotional response isn't your responsibility. 00:38:01.349 --> 00:38:04.369 And it's an us thing. That's all that matters. 00:38:04.469 --> 00:38:06.670 Nothing else matters. And sometimes that does 00:38:06.670 --> 00:38:09.449 help me to step back and say that to myself and 00:38:09.449 --> 00:38:13.269 realize none of this matters that much. As long 00:38:13.269 --> 00:38:17.269 as you and him are okay, it's an us thing. That's 00:38:17.269 --> 00:38:19.469 all that really matters. All of this little stuff. 00:38:19.590 --> 00:38:24.030 As long as we're good. The world's good. That's 00:38:24.030 --> 00:38:26.949 it. All right. What do you think is the biggest 00:38:26.949 --> 00:38:30.389 mind shift that we've had over the last five 00:38:30.389 --> 00:38:35.869 years in the lifestyle? Our biggest shift, I 00:38:35.869 --> 00:38:42.110 feel, is we recognize the emotions that happen. 00:38:42.269 --> 00:38:44.190 And the fact that it's okay to have emotions. 00:38:44.309 --> 00:38:47.489 We spent so long just no emotion, no emotion, 00:38:47.610 --> 00:38:50.710 no feeling. We fought it. We did. And the fact 00:38:50.710 --> 00:38:53.829 that we were feeling a certain way or that we 00:38:53.829 --> 00:38:56.969 were close with people, we felt guilt about it. 00:38:57.010 --> 00:38:58.710 Yeah. Like, we're not supposed to do this. Scary. 00:38:58.710 --> 00:39:01.110 I'm only supposed to have emotions for you. Yeah, 00:39:01.110 --> 00:39:03.889 no emotions for anyone else. But it's recognizing 00:39:03.889 --> 00:39:06.250 that there's different type of emotions. Yeah. 00:39:06.329 --> 00:39:08.710 And emotions are, again, natural and they're 00:39:08.710 --> 00:39:10.829 going to happen and feelings happen and it's 00:39:10.829 --> 00:39:12.570 okay. I think that's been the biggest shift. 00:39:12.630 --> 00:39:15.889 It's not the enemy. Because we would, in the 00:39:15.889 --> 00:39:17.750 very beginning, like, if we started getting too 00:39:17.750 --> 00:39:20.880 close to people, we would just. Ghost. Yeah, 00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:22.880 we'd be like, this is too, this is getting too 00:39:22.880 --> 00:39:25.260 heavy. It's getting too serious. It's too scary. 00:39:25.739 --> 00:39:28.780 And yeah, we would just run. And now. I found 00:39:28.780 --> 00:39:31.980 myself, I, with people we've met recently, like, 00:39:32.019 --> 00:39:35.659 I, you even said that to me because I was like, 00:39:35.719 --> 00:39:37.659 I forget what I was saying one day and I was 00:39:37.659 --> 00:39:40.099 going, I was having a moment and you were like, 00:39:40.119 --> 00:39:42.849 you're starting, you're trying to. Pull back 00:39:42.849 --> 00:39:45.449 from them. Oh, yeah, yeah. I forget what I exactly 00:39:45.449 --> 00:39:47.469 said. I call you on that shit now. Yeah, I forget 00:39:47.469 --> 00:39:48.829 what I exactly said, and I was like, it's getting 00:39:48.829 --> 00:39:50.869 too scary, so you're starting to put that wall 00:39:50.869 --> 00:39:53.369 back up because I'm starting to, like, you know, 00:39:53.389 --> 00:39:55.449 analyze it and getting a little too scared of 00:39:55.449 --> 00:39:57.610 things, and then you're like, there you are trying 00:39:57.610 --> 00:39:59.769 to run them off again. So I have to remind myself, 00:39:59.869 --> 00:40:02.250 and it's good to have somebody that keeps you 00:40:02.250 --> 00:40:04.489 in check, too. Yeah, and I don't say it, like, 00:40:04.489 --> 00:40:06.269 in a bad way. No, no, no, no. It's literally 00:40:06.269 --> 00:40:08.650 just that. It's literally just, like, because 00:40:08.650 --> 00:40:11.309 I... I recognize it. yeah so you reckon because 00:40:11.309 --> 00:40:14.630 you do it so naturally that's what i've always 00:40:14.630 --> 00:40:16.369 done you've always done it don't let anybody 00:40:16.369 --> 00:40:19.309 in block your heart block the wall up yeah and 00:40:19.309 --> 00:40:22.329 so yeah i do tend to fall back on that and i 00:40:22.329 --> 00:40:25.190 have to remember i have you to remind me well 00:40:25.190 --> 00:40:29.090 you called me out on my yeah just different different 00:40:29.090 --> 00:40:33.010 yeah different thing yes all right and then one 00:40:33.010 --> 00:40:35.289 piece of advice for new people ending the lifestyle 00:40:35.289 --> 00:40:42.760 now off of all of that say my i would say to 00:40:42.760 --> 00:40:49.280 anybody new single or in a relationship that 00:40:49.280 --> 00:40:55.280 it's not a race yes slow down there's always 00:40:55.280 --> 00:40:59.099 going to be plenty of time to people you're gonna 00:40:59.099 --> 00:41:03.019 find plenty of people and be patient you're gonna 00:41:03.019 --> 00:41:06.179 find i know it's Depending on where you live 00:41:06.179 --> 00:41:08.139 and who you're hanging out with and the clubs 00:41:08.139 --> 00:41:09.800 you're going to and the places you're going, 00:41:09.940 --> 00:41:13.760 it might take you a long time to find your people 00:41:13.760 --> 00:41:15.940 and it might take you a long time to find somebody 00:41:15.940 --> 00:41:18.219 to swap with or to even be interested in swapping 00:41:18.219 --> 00:41:20.880 with. And that's okay. There are people out there. 00:41:20.920 --> 00:41:22.820 I promise you every shape, every color, every 00:41:22.820 --> 00:41:26.000 size, everything. You will find your people that 00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:27.800 are into the same stuff that you're into. They're 00:41:27.800 --> 00:41:31.159 out there. Sometimes it's just we're lucky and 00:41:31.159 --> 00:41:33.650 we live in a really... populated area full of 00:41:33.650 --> 00:41:35.690 swingers and we're very very spoiled with the 00:41:35.690 --> 00:41:37.769 clubs and the events and all the things here 00:41:37.769 --> 00:41:42.949 but if you live in you know arkansas or iowa 00:41:42.949 --> 00:41:45.590 or somewhere where there's nothing you're gonna 00:41:45.590 --> 00:41:47.969 have a little bit harder time finding your people 00:41:47.969 --> 00:41:50.170 but i promise that they're out there they're 00:41:50.170 --> 00:41:52.269 very discreet yeah i promise they're out there 00:41:52.269 --> 00:41:54.369 because you're in the bible belt you're gonna 00:41:54.369 --> 00:41:56.909 have to just search a little bit harder be patient 00:41:56.909 --> 00:42:00.369 you know just in general another i got another 00:42:00.369 --> 00:42:04.969 one too and this again for singles or couples 00:42:04.969 --> 00:42:11.230 is understand that as a couple or a single person 00:42:11.230 --> 00:42:15.690 you're being invited into another couple's dynamic 00:42:15.690 --> 00:42:21.210 relationship so understand your place yeah yeah 00:42:21.210 --> 00:42:23.289 and your purpose and your purpose why you're 00:42:23.289 --> 00:42:25.909 all there and what yeah and that purpose can 00:42:25.909 --> 00:42:30.360 vary and that reason can change but just understand 00:42:30.360 --> 00:42:33.940 that you're being invited into that other couple's 00:42:33.940 --> 00:42:37.079 or people's dynamic yeah it's kind of a big deal 00:42:37.079 --> 00:42:40.860 yeah no just be respectful exactly kind be a 00:42:40.860 --> 00:42:45.019 good human just be nice really it's very simple 00:42:45.019 --> 00:42:48.300 as that put yourself out there too like don't 00:42:48.300 --> 00:42:50.519 be afraid to just go out there and say hi and 00:42:50.519 --> 00:42:52.619 to talk to the person and everyone's like oh 00:42:52.619 --> 00:42:54.610 they're out of my life don't Do you know how 00:42:54.610 --> 00:42:56.550 many times that I've been out of my league in 00:42:56.550 --> 00:42:58.989 this last five years? Do you know how many times 00:42:58.989 --> 00:43:02.170 I've looked at him and be like, what is happening 00:43:02.170 --> 00:43:06.469 right now? I would have never imagined. It's 00:43:06.469 --> 00:43:09.570 all a vibe. It's all energy. It's all a personality 00:43:09.570 --> 00:43:13.269 thing. It's so much more. We've pulled some dime 00:43:13.269 --> 00:43:14.989 pieces together. We've looked at each other at 00:43:14.989 --> 00:43:19.110 five. There's been moments where we're just mind 00:43:19.110 --> 00:43:22.440 blown, speechless type thing. It's just about, 00:43:22.460 --> 00:43:24.800 it's about so much more than looks and about 00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:27.800 the perfect body or the perfect whatever face 00:43:27.800 --> 00:43:31.480 or smile or eyes or whatever. Really? I would 00:43:31.480 --> 00:43:35.380 say this in its confidence. Confidence. Find 00:43:35.380 --> 00:43:39.139 your confidence. Yeah. If you believe it. They're 00:43:39.139 --> 00:43:41.099 all going to believe it. So whatever you believe 00:43:41.099 --> 00:43:43.920 is going to be what it is. But if you're going 00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:46.460 to believe it, believe it. Believe it. Yeah. 00:43:46.619 --> 00:43:50.800 Because if it's disingenuine, everybody's going 00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:52.239 to see you right through it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 00:43:52.280 --> 00:43:54.179 You have to believe it with your gut and your 00:43:54.179 --> 00:43:56.780 whole heart and everyone. It will be. Period. 00:43:57.000 --> 00:43:59.780 Yeah. And that's, I mean, I know it sounds insane, 00:43:59.840 --> 00:44:03.039 but watch. You just watch. You just watch. Go 00:44:03.039 --> 00:44:05.119 out there confident and everyone else will believe 00:44:05.119 --> 00:44:07.300 in you too and everything that it is that you 00:44:07.300 --> 00:44:10.519 want to be. You can be in this lifestyle. And 00:44:10.519 --> 00:44:11.860 that's probably one of my favorite things. There's 00:44:11.860 --> 00:44:15.400 someone for everyone. And nobody is out of your 00:44:15.400 --> 00:44:18.300 league. I promise. I promise. That's not a thing 00:44:18.300 --> 00:44:20.760 here. It's all about the chemistry and the vibes 00:44:20.760 --> 00:44:24.019 and humans. Be kind. Be good. Just be a good 00:44:24.019 --> 00:44:27.639 person and be friendly. You know, be charismatic. 00:44:27.699 --> 00:44:31.500 Go make friends. Smile. Make eye contact. Just 00:44:31.500 --> 00:44:36.039 be. Just be. Just be. Be yourself. Be yourself. 00:44:36.239 --> 00:44:38.539 Yeah. All right. And then for the last segment, 00:44:38.679 --> 00:44:42.300 the best decisions we have ever made. Redemptions. 00:44:42.460 --> 00:44:46.880 These are our redemptions. Learning to walk away 00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:49.900 and saying no. We're back to that pretty much. 00:44:49.960 --> 00:44:53.380 Yeah. And it's come full circle. It's okay to 00:44:53.380 --> 00:44:56.539 realize this is not something that I want. This 00:44:56.539 --> 00:44:58.219 is not something or someone that I'm interested 00:44:58.219 --> 00:45:01.820 in. And there is power in just not and saying 00:45:01.820 --> 00:45:04.360 no and speaking out for yourself or your partner 00:45:04.360 --> 00:45:09.030 or both of you. yeah saying it's not just speaking 00:45:09.030 --> 00:45:13.150 up with other people it's speaking up with your 00:45:13.150 --> 00:45:17.570 partner yeah and to yourself recognizing that 00:45:17.570 --> 00:45:20.130 you don't this isn't something you want personally 00:45:20.130 --> 00:45:24.510 and then going from there you're choosing what 00:45:24.510 --> 00:45:27.969 you want and what you don't want and say have 00:45:27.969 --> 00:45:32.989 power in that even negative emotions can be turned 00:45:32.989 --> 00:45:37.119 into positive emotions that's okay yeah like 00:45:37.119 --> 00:45:39.179 even if you're having a bad experience and you 00:45:39.179 --> 00:45:42.599 step away from it and you eventually figure out 00:45:42.599 --> 00:45:45.940 why it was a bad experience for you why you didn't 00:45:45.940 --> 00:45:49.420 like it no and then you go from there and you 00:45:49.420 --> 00:45:51.760 grow and then the next big one is surrounding 00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:55.260 ourselves with the right people and that has 00:45:55.260 --> 00:45:58.960 changed yes pretty much everything in this past 00:45:58.960 --> 00:46:03.880 year or so we've really We've revaluated a lot 00:46:03.880 --> 00:46:06.119 of our relationships and our friendships with 00:46:06.119 --> 00:46:08.739 people and who we surround ourselves with. We 00:46:08.739 --> 00:46:10.300 stepped back and we were like, is this really 00:46:10.300 --> 00:46:12.380 what we want? Is this really who we want to be 00:46:12.380 --> 00:46:15.099 associated with? Is this really what we're wanting? 00:46:16.480 --> 00:46:22.739 We definitely have rekindled old friendships 00:46:22.739 --> 00:46:28.579 that we realize were very valuable. We've taken 00:46:28.579 --> 00:46:32.139 a step back from some friendships that... we're 00:46:32.139 --> 00:46:38.159 not serving not serving yeah not yeah and we've 00:46:38.159 --> 00:46:43.340 built some new amazing friendships yeah and it's 00:46:43.340 --> 00:46:46.719 amazing what you attract when you allow it yeah 00:46:46.719 --> 00:46:48.980 when you are just being yourself and you just 00:46:48.980 --> 00:46:51.320 put that wall down and you just become authentic 00:46:51.320 --> 00:46:56.239 and you are who you are you attract that yeah 00:46:56.239 --> 00:46:58.719 and it's amazing how you can attract that just 00:46:58.719 --> 00:47:02.130 from being yourself and you'll find the people 00:47:02.130 --> 00:47:04.429 come to you. It's like a magnet. As soon as you 00:47:04.429 --> 00:47:07.409 put yourself out there and you just be your true 00:47:07.409 --> 00:47:10.449 self, you'll find people that gravitate towards 00:47:10.449 --> 00:47:13.889 you, that love you. And that just, it's good. 00:47:14.150 --> 00:47:16.469 It is. It's a good thing. That was the best thing. 00:47:16.469 --> 00:47:19.750 We built a pretty good tribe. I'm not gonna lie. 00:47:19.989 --> 00:47:22.690 Yeah. It's the 3 a .m. No questions asked. Shovel. 00:47:22.750 --> 00:47:26.429 Yeah. I could call. Shovel type of people. Yeah. 00:47:26.909 --> 00:47:30.130 Yes. And. Not only people and friends and everything, 00:47:30.210 --> 00:47:33.050 but the people you play with. So not settling 00:47:33.050 --> 00:47:36.630 for just any and any. Well, and I think now because 00:47:36.630 --> 00:47:39.230 we're surrounding ourselves with people that 00:47:39.230 --> 00:47:40.909 we're comfortable with, who we're ourselves with, 00:47:40.969 --> 00:47:45.869 it allows for the conversations to happen and 00:47:45.869 --> 00:47:52.869 to fulfill fantasies that aren't possible with 00:47:52.869 --> 00:48:01.039 that. Certain level. Yeah. Just. Yeah. So the 00:48:01.039 --> 00:48:02.820 more comfortable you get, the more fantasies 00:48:02.820 --> 00:48:06.079 you get to explore. It's a whole new world. Yeah. 00:48:06.860 --> 00:48:09.239 100%. I'm here for it though. 10 out of 10 recommend. 00:48:09.800 --> 00:48:12.380 10 out of 10 recommend. I'm here for it. And 00:48:12.380 --> 00:48:14.860 the last thing I would have to say is embrace 00:48:14.860 --> 00:48:19.639 the fun and not the pressure. Yeah. Yeah. If 00:48:19.639 --> 00:48:22.559 you're feeling a lot of pressure. Expectation. 00:48:22.699 --> 00:48:25.329 Expect. And those usually come from expectations. 00:48:25.710 --> 00:48:28.289 What happens when that doesn't happen? You can 00:48:28.289 --> 00:48:31.849 easily get pissed off. We know people who go 00:48:31.849 --> 00:48:35.670 in with super big expectations and then they 00:48:35.670 --> 00:48:39.489 leave not fulfilling those expectations. They 00:48:39.489 --> 00:48:44.190 throw a fit like a child. We've seen full -blown 00:48:44.190 --> 00:48:46.789 tantrums from these people that are like this. 00:48:47.050 --> 00:48:51.829 It makes total sense though. If you go back a 00:48:51.829 --> 00:48:57.090 few weeks when I talked to Jim, we learn everything 00:48:57.090 --> 00:49:03.090 emotionally by the age of eight. And if we don't 00:49:03.090 --> 00:49:06.610 work on ourselves after that, we are responding 00:49:06.610 --> 00:49:09.550 at an emotional level of an eight -year -old. 00:49:09.670 --> 00:49:11.510 That's exactly right. Temper tantrum, we see. 00:49:11.789 --> 00:49:14.829 So they're not doing it. And that's another red 00:49:14.829 --> 00:49:17.289 flag is, oh, you're not doing the work on yourself. 00:49:17.610 --> 00:49:20.170 You're not actually finding why you're. Trying 00:49:20.170 --> 00:49:21.650 to figure out why you're having these feelings. 00:49:21.750 --> 00:49:24.130 You're just blaming it on everyone else. That's 00:49:24.130 --> 00:49:26.690 usually the thing they deflect onto someone else. 00:49:26.730 --> 00:49:29.289 Take it out on, unfortunately, their partner 00:49:29.289 --> 00:49:32.530 and their person. Yeah, unfortunately. And that's 00:49:32.530 --> 00:49:35.150 where you start seeing relationships crumble. 00:49:36.170 --> 00:49:40.389 Yeah, that's the gist of all the most common 00:49:40.389 --> 00:49:43.570 list of stuff. People regret the biggest mistakes 00:49:43.570 --> 00:49:46.949 they've made. hearing all the time on social 00:49:46.949 --> 00:49:52.090 media and dms and emails and podcasts comments 00:49:52.090 --> 00:49:54.429 and all of that that's pretty much the big i 00:49:54.429 --> 00:49:56.230 know there's so many more if you think of anything 00:49:56.230 --> 00:50:02.090 else dms drop us comment down below youtube wherever 00:50:02.090 --> 00:50:03.949 you're watching this or you can put a comment 00:50:03.949 --> 00:50:06.369 just about anywhere nowadays so social media 00:50:06.369 --> 00:50:09.789 dms and we have email there's so many different 00:50:09.789 --> 00:50:12.719 ways to reach us if you have more We're always 00:50:12.719 --> 00:50:15.599 up for continuing episodes and talking more about 00:50:15.599 --> 00:50:17.980 these things and hopefully helping you avoid 00:50:17.980 --> 00:50:20.159 some of these mistakes that we've made and others 00:50:20.159 --> 00:50:23.019 have made along the lines. Try to give a couple 00:50:23.019 --> 00:50:27.320 cheat codes to make it easier. Yes. We don't 00:50:27.320 --> 00:50:29.340 want anybody to make the same mistakes. We've 00:50:29.340 --> 00:50:31.539 learned some hard lessons. There we go. That's 00:50:31.539 --> 00:50:33.179 what I was trying to say. Learn some hard lessons. 00:50:33.920 --> 00:50:37.599 We're trying to help you out. But next week's 00:50:37.599 --> 00:50:40.659 episode, we will be live at Secrets. It's going 00:50:40.659 --> 00:50:42.480 to be exciting with the motherfucking leaves. 00:50:42.760 --> 00:50:45.380 I'm so excited. We're finally going to have them 00:50:45.380 --> 00:50:47.179 on the podcast. We're probably going to sit down. 00:50:47.360 --> 00:50:49.480 Yeah, in person. We've talked about them pretty 00:50:49.480 --> 00:50:51.380 much every episode for the last. They've almost 00:50:51.380 --> 00:50:55.119 been on our podcast. Quite a few times. But something's 00:50:55.119 --> 00:50:58.000 always happened. The internet keeps testing us. 00:50:58.099 --> 00:50:59.900 So we're finally going to sit down with them. 00:50:59.960 --> 00:51:02.340 We have two days with them at Secrets. And then 00:51:02.340 --> 00:51:05.599 we'll be there for five days. So we should have 00:51:05.599 --> 00:51:08.469 time. We're going to probably do another. podcast 00:51:08.469 --> 00:51:11.110 as well while we're there us wrapping up the 00:51:11.110 --> 00:51:13.989 weekend and all of that too so definitely look 00:51:13.989 --> 00:51:17.030 forward to all of social media we're going to 00:51:17.030 --> 00:51:19.510 be having all the secrets things all the tiktoks 00:51:19.510 --> 00:51:22.550 and instagrams and we'll have all of that coming 00:51:22.550 --> 00:51:25.489 here soon and that's really the big thing going 00:51:25.489 --> 00:51:28.429 on right now secrets is kind of a big deal it's 00:51:28.429 --> 00:51:31.409 pretty pretty huge event for us two three times 00:51:31.409 --> 00:51:34.550 a year so we're excited to be there and do that 00:51:34.550 --> 00:51:37.320 and have time together and It's been a week in 00:51:37.320 --> 00:51:40.519 Florida. It's always a good turn. But if you 00:51:40.519 --> 00:51:42.260 enjoyed this episode, make sure that you leave 00:51:42.260 --> 00:51:44.420 a review and share it with your friends. Comment 00:51:44.420 --> 00:51:47.719 below. Like all the things. Do all the stuff. 00:51:47.880 --> 00:51:51.780 Please. Share. Please. Please. And remember. 00:51:52.559 --> 00:51:55.159 It's not that serious. Don't make it weird. We 00:51:55.159 --> 00:51:57.239 love you guys. And we will talk to you next week. 00:51:57.519 --> 00:51:58.340 Bye. Bye.