WEBVTT 00:00:01.589 --> 00:00:04.690 Hello, listeners. I'm Valeria Rusnak and welcome 00:00:04.690 --> 00:00:07.469 to the episode 12 of the Rejected Pre -Med Podcast, 00:00:07.769 --> 00:00:10.349 a space for honest conversations about rejection 00:00:10.349 --> 00:00:13.869 and resilience. Rejection is often redirection. 00:00:14.150 --> 00:00:16.809 Yes, it may sting at first, but it can lead you 00:00:16.809 --> 00:00:19.350 to meaningful personal and professional growth. 00:00:19.690 --> 00:00:22.850 In today's episode, please welcome Karan Woodwani. 00:00:22.890 --> 00:00:25.530 Karan lives the life of many archetypes, a speaker, 00:00:25.850 --> 00:00:28.750 comic, singer, digital enthusiast, connector, 00:00:29.149 --> 00:00:32.009 and engager. His experience overcoming stuttering 00:00:32.009 --> 00:00:34.250 has shown him that he can harness his obstacles 00:00:34.250 --> 00:00:37.649 into a superpower to achieve mastery in various 00:00:37.649 --> 00:00:40.429 areas of life. His debut memoir, So You Want 00:00:40.429 --> 00:00:44.109 To Be A, blends poetry, music, comedy, and wisdom 00:00:44.109 --> 00:00:46.890 to offer practical advice for anyone seeking 00:00:46.890 --> 00:00:50.750 clarity and a way forward. Though Karan has lived 00:00:50.750 --> 00:00:54.369 in Spain, Nigeria and Canada and worked in over 00:00:54.369 --> 00:00:57.310 28 countries, he chose to establish his roots 00:00:57.310 --> 00:01:00.109 in Canada and now calls Vancouver Island his 00:01:00.109 --> 00:01:02.909 cherished home. So thank you so much Karan for 00:01:02.909 --> 00:01:05.329 taking the time to join us on this podcast. I 00:01:05.329 --> 00:01:07.870 am thrilled to have you here and excited to explore 00:01:07.870 --> 00:01:10.269 your fascinating background and the many creative 00:01:10.269 --> 00:01:12.810 paths that you have pursued. So I will start 00:01:12.810 --> 00:01:15.329 off by asking how do you how do you feel about 00:01:15.329 --> 00:01:18.950 doing today's episode? Thank you so much, Valeria. 00:01:19.170 --> 00:01:22.189 I feel really good. I'm glad to be here. Thank 00:01:22.189 --> 00:01:25.909 you for making the time. A feeling in one word, 00:01:26.189 --> 00:01:28.849 you know, I'm excited. The book has launched 00:01:28.849 --> 00:01:33.310 last month. It's been just under two weeks and 00:01:33.310 --> 00:01:36.189 I've gotten really good feedback and people are 00:01:36.189 --> 00:01:39.310 really loving it and sharing their photos on 00:01:39.310 --> 00:01:42.829 social media. It's been good. That's great to 00:01:42.829 --> 00:01:45.659 hear. It's a great book. I read it, I'll ask 00:01:45.659 --> 00:01:47.819 you a lot of questions on it today. And I said 00:01:47.819 --> 00:01:49.680 this to you before we started the recording and 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:52.480 I'll say this now, I really enjoyed it. And yeah, 00:01:52.739 --> 00:01:55.659 how did you decide to write a book? Was it just 00:01:55.659 --> 00:01:58.700 like one day you had a realization, I'm going 00:01:58.700 --> 00:02:02.680 to do this? Or it was this slow burning kind 00:02:02.680 --> 00:02:04.560 of feeling? Like what pushed you to do this? 00:02:04.859 --> 00:02:07.019 And who was the ideal target audience in your 00:02:07.019 --> 00:02:09.539 mind? What went through your mind as you were 00:02:09.539 --> 00:02:12.669 doing and decided to do this project? I would 00:02:12.669 --> 00:02:14.889 say it's been quite a journey. So it's been like 00:02:14.889 --> 00:02:19.729 seven years or so. I remember starting this book 00:02:19.729 --> 00:02:25.289 in 2015 in my undergrad where I would journal 00:02:25.289 --> 00:02:29.629 a lot. So I would write on certain topics and 00:02:29.629 --> 00:02:32.509 I was reading a lot of philosophy at the time 00:02:32.509 --> 00:02:35.090 as well. So maybe that has something to do with 00:02:35.090 --> 00:02:41.360 it. It moved from journals to notepads. I still 00:02:41.360 --> 00:02:43.740 have some of these journals at home in a box, 00:02:44.840 --> 00:02:49.759 five or 10 journals filled with words. It moved 00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:55.199 from physical to then word documents. And then 00:02:55.199 --> 00:03:00.580 after to constructing and to actually organizing 00:03:00.580 --> 00:03:07.250 each topic into such concepts. years like you'll 00:03:07.250 --> 00:03:09.310 see in the book where it's broken out into 30 00:03:09.310 --> 00:03:13.710 segments. And then because I was doing a variety 00:03:13.710 --> 00:03:17.370 of work, I was obviously I was working full -time 00:03:17.370 --> 00:03:20.530 a job and then I was doing stand -up comedy and 00:03:20.530 --> 00:03:23.530 then I had dabbled in music as well. I wanted 00:03:23.530 --> 00:03:28.849 a way to compile all of that together. So the 00:03:28.849 --> 00:03:32.449 thought was can I create a book with the cross 00:03:32.449 --> 00:03:36.080 -media aspect that would consider and take into 00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:40.060 account our full digital lives while still having 00:03:40.060 --> 00:03:42.979 the physical book for readers put on their bookshops. 00:03:43.120 --> 00:03:45.699 I really like the fact that there's QR codes, 00:03:45.900 --> 00:03:48.259 there's videos, and sometimes then I thought, 00:03:48.259 --> 00:03:50.300 oh, I'm getting a bit tired of reading because 00:03:50.300 --> 00:03:52.039 my eyes hurt. So it's like, oh, okay, cool, an 00:03:52.039 --> 00:03:54.180 Instagram reel. And that way, that's a new way 00:03:54.180 --> 00:03:57.300 to process information and wait to process content. 00:03:57.400 --> 00:04:01.080 So yeah, I really appreciated that. And I believe 00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:04.710 we are in the greatest era right now where digital 00:04:04.710 --> 00:04:07.770 has come into almost everything. I enjoy pen 00:04:07.770 --> 00:04:11.189 to paper, but we live and we got to adapt to 00:04:11.189 --> 00:04:14.189 the digital world. Yeah, that's right. And in 00:04:14.189 --> 00:04:15.689 the book, you mentioned you've lived in so many 00:04:15.689 --> 00:04:18.170 places and you being immersed in so many different 00:04:18.170 --> 00:04:21.389 cultures and jobs throughout your life. What 00:04:21.389 --> 00:04:24.230 does rejection or failure mean to you? I want 00:04:24.230 --> 00:04:26.329 to ask because around the world, there's so many 00:04:26.329 --> 00:04:28.430 times people may define those experiences very 00:04:28.430 --> 00:04:31.149 differently. And yeah, I want to hear what you 00:04:31.149 --> 00:04:34.379 have to say for how would you define rejection 00:04:34.379 --> 00:04:37.259 is it simply a redirection is it a lesson or 00:04:37.259 --> 00:04:39.759 is it something else completely I know you identify 00:04:39.759 --> 00:04:42.639 as a very spiritual person as well so I wonder 00:04:42.639 --> 00:04:45.000 if that goes into play when you define rejection 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:47.860 I want to hear that perspective a little bit 00:04:47.860 --> 00:04:51.879 okay for sure for sure okay so I think even with 00:04:51.879 --> 00:04:54.879 the rejection you only have control over what 00:04:54.879 --> 00:04:58.699 you have control over so for a lack of better 00:04:58.699 --> 00:05:03.180 words like you you must not reject yourself first 00:05:03.180 --> 00:05:06.759 most. You mentioned spirituality, so there's 00:05:06.759 --> 00:05:12.220 a big quote that I live by and literally tattooed 00:05:12.220 --> 00:05:16.079 on me is that like human being could lift himself 00:05:16.079 --> 00:05:19.139 by himself because the self alone is the best 00:05:19.139 --> 00:05:21.300 friend of the self and the self alone is the 00:05:21.300 --> 00:05:25.420 enemy of the self. I think for a lot of times 00:05:25.420 --> 00:05:30.480 our rejection actually If it's not coming externally, 00:05:30.560 --> 00:05:34.600 it's coming internally. And the fear as well. 00:05:34.920 --> 00:05:39.639 So I remember doing a video on fear and I say, 00:05:40.079 --> 00:05:44.519 fear is like rocket fuel. You feel it, right? 00:05:44.660 --> 00:05:47.100 And sometimes you can close off or you can really 00:05:47.100 --> 00:05:52.720 jump into it. So for instance, let's say you're 00:05:52.720 --> 00:05:57.360 in class and you're fearful to... This has happened. 00:05:57.579 --> 00:05:59.540 This is a personal story. When I was younger, 00:05:59.639 --> 00:06:03.879 I would be very fearful to read out loud because 00:06:03.879 --> 00:06:06.600 I was scared I was going to stutter. So I would, 00:06:06.600 --> 00:06:10.000 I would time it out to go to the bathroom. You 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:13.019 know how they got to like, like everybody turned 00:06:13.019 --> 00:06:15.899 to read out of the book. Oh yeah. Yeah. We had 00:06:15.899 --> 00:06:19.680 that too. Yeah. So today like call upon me. I'll 00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:22.360 read you anything. I'm happy to. So I think, 00:06:23.120 --> 00:06:26.980 I think Fear can hold you back, but I think fear 00:06:26.980 --> 00:06:29.600 is something that you gotta utilize. And you 00:06:29.600 --> 00:06:31.540 can tell from how I'm feeling about it right 00:06:31.540 --> 00:06:35.920 now, it's like a little something in you, it's 00:06:35.920 --> 00:06:39.120 a fire in you that you have to actually fuel. 00:06:39.480 --> 00:06:42.720 The more you get rid of fear, the more easier 00:06:42.720 --> 00:06:46.639 you can react to it. It's an emotion, right? 00:06:46.779 --> 00:06:50.019 The body is full of energy and emotions. How 00:06:50.019 --> 00:06:53.920 you think is gonna determine how you feel, which 00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:57.459 is going to determine how you act. I, yeah, I'm 00:06:57.459 --> 00:07:00.019 fairly spiritual. I practice a lot of Tai Chi 00:07:00.019 --> 00:07:03.420 as well. And Tai Chi, if you know, is all about 00:07:03.420 --> 00:07:06.860 Chi. So you're literally moving Chi. You're moving 00:07:06.860 --> 00:07:09.500 energy in your body to keep it healthy and able, 00:07:09.600 --> 00:07:13.220 but realizing that you're building up that energy 00:07:13.220 --> 00:07:16.079 from what you do, who you associate with and 00:07:16.079 --> 00:07:19.040 how you spend your time. what you eat, what you 00:07:19.040 --> 00:07:21.100 feed yourself, not just what you feed yourself 00:07:21.100 --> 00:07:24.600 food -wise, what you feed yourself content -wise. 00:07:26.079 --> 00:07:31.160 So, I would say rejection. I faced a lot of rejection 00:07:31.160 --> 00:07:34.199 in terms of, yeah, I also applied for med school 00:07:34.199 --> 00:07:38.500 two years back. I did stand -up comedy because 00:07:38.500 --> 00:07:42.160 I thought, oh, that's a good way of alleviating 00:07:42.160 --> 00:07:45.800 some sorrow and pain, just how doctors do that. 00:07:46.189 --> 00:07:50.790 Laughter is a great pain medicine, right? Yeah. 00:07:50.970 --> 00:07:54.350 When you meet your friends who you know and you 00:07:54.350 --> 00:07:56.389 joke around with and you haven't seen them in 00:07:56.389 --> 00:07:59.949 a while, everything comes back and you're at 00:07:59.949 --> 00:08:04.170 those moments of laughter and enjoyment. So I 00:08:04.170 --> 00:08:08.230 think when it comes to rejection, don't get bummed 00:08:08.230 --> 00:08:12.209 down by it. Know that, okay, sometimes it takes 00:08:12.209 --> 00:08:15.399 a long time to get to where you got to go. JK 00:08:15.399 --> 00:08:19.839 Rowling, everybody knows, rejected a thousand 00:08:19.839 --> 00:08:23.699 times. Any inventor, any person who has had to 00:08:23.699 --> 00:08:27.120 really fight for what they believed in, they've 00:08:27.120 --> 00:08:29.860 often faced a lot of rejection. And that's because 00:08:29.860 --> 00:08:34.240 we put so much emphasis on the outside. We want 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:38.019 validation. Obviously in the case of JK Rowling, 00:08:38.019 --> 00:08:44.129 she needed a publisher to publish her book. somebody 00:08:44.129 --> 00:08:48.269 will take that chance. I think the more you advocate, 00:08:48.549 --> 00:08:52.309 it happens. It just takes time. That's the key 00:08:52.309 --> 00:08:56.330 is like you get one life shot. We're sitting 00:08:56.330 --> 00:09:01.190 in the universe on this planet called Earth and 00:09:01.190 --> 00:09:03.610 one day that experience of you and I talking 00:09:03.610 --> 00:09:07.970 right now will not be possible. So maximize that 00:09:07.970 --> 00:09:10.899 to the best that you can. That's a good message 00:09:10.899 --> 00:09:13.960 and this is such great timing because I recently 00:09:13.960 --> 00:09:17.200 I made a post and I remember and this is not 00:09:17.200 --> 00:09:20.059 my quote It's one of the attendees from my events 00:09:20.059 --> 00:09:22.840 the end of my events when I talk about handling 00:09:22.840 --> 00:09:24.820 rejections and building resilience I give out 00:09:24.820 --> 00:09:26.940 these wood disks to attendees and they write 00:09:26.940 --> 00:09:29.379 their main takeaways their message and she wrote 00:09:29.379 --> 00:09:32.820 others can only reject you when you reject yourself 00:09:32.820 --> 00:09:35.480 So I find that really relates to what you said 00:09:35.659 --> 00:09:38.620 And that was writing in my post that when you 00:09:38.620 --> 00:09:40.399 believe in yourself, when you work towards your 00:09:40.399 --> 00:09:43.220 goals, you know what you want and you go towards 00:09:43.220 --> 00:09:45.559 it. Others, people's disapproval of you, which 00:09:45.559 --> 00:09:47.759 is natural, not everyone will approve of you. 00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:50.919 Yeah, and their rejections of you, however you 00:09:50.919 --> 00:09:53.639 want to call it, they don't hold as much weight 00:09:53.639 --> 00:09:55.799 because you know what it is that you want to 00:09:55.799 --> 00:09:58.399 go for and eventually with enough consistency 00:09:58.399 --> 00:10:00.860 and believing yourself and self -compassion that 00:10:00.860 --> 00:10:03.200 resilience builds and with that resilience, success 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:06.559 comes sooner or later. whatever success means 00:10:06.559 --> 00:10:08.539 to you because sometimes it can be defined differently 00:10:08.539 --> 00:10:11.080 depending on who you are and what your values 00:10:11.080 --> 00:10:14.299 are. Totally. So you can change your perspective 00:10:14.299 --> 00:10:17.039 around rejection and failure and not be scared 00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:20.149 of it if you give yourself more validation and 00:10:20.149 --> 00:10:22.129 that belief in yourself and you trust yourself 00:10:22.129 --> 00:10:25.370 to know to do what's right, eventually and we 00:10:25.370 --> 00:10:27.649 all make mistakes or sometimes we all fail but 00:10:27.649 --> 00:10:30.029 trusting ourselves that whatever choice we make, 00:10:30.269 --> 00:10:32.490 we will get out of it or we will make the best 00:10:32.490 --> 00:10:34.169 of it and we'll make the best of whatever comes 00:10:34.169 --> 00:10:37.610 at us. So yeah, thank you for sharing that. Something 00:10:37.610 --> 00:10:41.730 you said that really stuck out for me was you 00:10:41.730 --> 00:10:44.950 said as you're building, okay, so you're building 00:10:44.950 --> 00:10:48.279 trust with yourself and as you Just with yourself 00:10:48.279 --> 00:10:52.679 you get success. The best success that you can 00:10:52.679 --> 00:10:55.779 grow is actually it's not just monetarily wealth 00:10:55.779 --> 00:10:59.059 but there's another spiritual success that you 00:10:59.059 --> 00:11:02.039 can grow. So imagine if every person on this 00:11:02.039 --> 00:11:06.600 planet was relatively joyful like that's the 00:11:06.600 --> 00:11:09.580 one emotion. If you were walking around everywhere 00:11:09.580 --> 00:11:12.639 and everybody was super smiley and like happy, 00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:15.559 you're like, wow, this is really good. But we 00:11:15.559 --> 00:11:17.919 don't see that a lot, right? We see a lot of 00:11:17.919 --> 00:11:21.440 poverty. We see homelessness. We see anger. We 00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:24.200 see aggression. We see sadness. We see, we see 00:11:24.200 --> 00:11:29.019 this world and not in balance. And I think though 00:11:29.019 --> 00:11:32.320 I'll say to you, the world is not balanced, right? 00:11:32.440 --> 00:11:35.820 You have typhoons, sunlight, you got rain, you 00:11:35.820 --> 00:11:40.250 got snow. So the key is remaining at equilibrium 00:11:40.250 --> 00:11:46.230 almost. Not being affected. So that comes back 00:11:46.230 --> 00:11:50.149 to rejection. If you have rejection, so be it. 00:11:50.590 --> 00:11:53.669 Don't allow it to take you away from what you're 00:11:53.669 --> 00:11:57.649 trying to get to. Keeping in that equilibrium 00:11:57.649 --> 00:12:01.809 where you're cool, calm and collected at all 00:12:01.809 --> 00:12:04.549 moments of your life to get to where you have 00:12:04.549 --> 00:12:08.809 to go. How would you keep that equilibrium? Because 00:12:08.809 --> 00:12:10.830 I, you're right, absolutely agree. Because when 00:12:10.830 --> 00:12:13.470 we do find that equilibrium, we're more in tune 00:12:13.470 --> 00:12:15.429 with our intuition. And we're more in tune with 00:12:15.429 --> 00:12:17.909 our intuition. I find that what we need and what 00:12:17.909 --> 00:12:21.730 we want, they become one in the same. Yeah. And 00:12:21.730 --> 00:12:25.210 life just seems, it's not always easy, but it 00:12:25.210 --> 00:12:29.070 seems easier. And it's more joyful at the same 00:12:29.070 --> 00:12:31.509 time. But how do you find that equilibrium? Where 00:12:31.509 --> 00:12:33.129 do you start? Especially when there's typhoons, 00:12:33.370 --> 00:12:35.149 there's like winds, there's tornadoes, and there's 00:12:35.149 --> 00:12:38.049 so much that life can throw at us. Where can 00:12:38.049 --> 00:12:41.230 you find it? And how do you start? Okay, that's 00:12:41.230 --> 00:12:44.590 a very good question. So I think you find it 00:12:44.590 --> 00:12:49.710 through yourself, time, time on your own, make 00:12:49.710 --> 00:12:54.929 sure every day, even if it's 20 minutes through. 00:12:55.039 --> 00:12:58.879 three minutes or something but you spend it with 00:12:58.879 --> 00:13:03.480 yourself internally and sometimes remaining quiet 00:13:03.480 --> 00:13:07.740 that inner energy gets restored because we're 00:13:07.740 --> 00:13:10.360 so quick to talk about the other person we're 00:13:10.360 --> 00:13:14.539 so quick to judge we're so quick to to just constantly 00:13:14.539 --> 00:13:20.539 be speaking and sometimes not for purpose so 00:13:20.539 --> 00:13:25.450 I think you regain that energy in what you are 00:13:25.450 --> 00:13:29.330 doing every day. For me, for many years, that 00:13:29.330 --> 00:13:33.610 was Tai Chi. There wouldn't be a 24 -hour period 00:13:33.610 --> 00:13:38.470 where I would miss my own self -practice. Once 00:13:38.470 --> 00:13:41.210 you miss one day of practice, you're going back. 00:13:41.690 --> 00:13:46.389 It's like people's routines. An athlete needs 00:13:46.389 --> 00:13:49.230 to train all the time to get better and better 00:13:49.230 --> 00:13:52.759 and better. As a human being, we need to remember 00:13:52.759 --> 00:13:57.000 that we're not the only people on this planet. 00:13:57.360 --> 00:14:00.460 We don't have control over everything and we're 00:14:00.460 --> 00:14:04.259 so insignificant to the greater whatever you 00:14:04.259 --> 00:14:07.860 want to call that's happening. Yeah, this is 00:14:07.860 --> 00:14:10.259 a great reminder because as you were talking 00:14:10.259 --> 00:14:12.600 about finding equilibrium, I was also thinking 00:14:12.600 --> 00:14:14.600 what do I do to find equilibrium for myself? 00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:17.919 I know I love to journal and it helps me process 00:14:17.919 --> 00:14:21.620 things. It's not always easy, especially on days 00:14:21.620 --> 00:14:25.039 when there's too many emotions. It is possible 00:14:25.039 --> 00:14:29.100 to feel frustrated and angry and happy at the 00:14:29.100 --> 00:14:31.559 same time. It is possible. So journaling does 00:14:31.559 --> 00:14:34.519 help me break that down and find that inner voice 00:14:34.519 --> 00:14:38.700 in me to help me calm down and give me that equilibrium 00:14:38.700 --> 00:14:42.460 back. There's also, have you heard of the book 00:14:42.460 --> 00:14:46.360 called Artist's Way? No. Hi, Julia Cameron. Yeah, 00:14:46.379 --> 00:14:49.259 so my friend introduced it to me and it was, 00:14:49.379 --> 00:14:51.259 well for me, it was transformative, it was life 00:14:51.259 --> 00:14:53.700 -changing. And it talks about this idea, first 00:14:53.700 --> 00:14:55.879 of all, of journaling, but it also talks about 00:14:55.879 --> 00:14:58.799 this idea of artist dates and artist dates is 00:14:58.799 --> 00:15:00.519 not like you going out on a date with an artist. 00:15:00.580 --> 00:15:04.059 That's not what it is. You give yourself time 00:15:04.059 --> 00:15:06.539 in a day, whenever you have time, if it's maybe 00:15:06.539 --> 00:15:08.600 if it's like once per week, depending on how 00:15:08.600 --> 00:15:11.000 busy you are, like once per week, it can be even 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:13.730 once per month. where you go out and just do 00:15:13.730 --> 00:15:16.269 an activity that you would not normally do and 00:15:16.269 --> 00:15:19.070 do it by yourself. For example, it could go to 00:15:19.070 --> 00:15:22.169 this restaurant that you've never been to, but 00:15:22.169 --> 00:15:24.470 go by yourself and that can feel really weird. 00:15:25.450 --> 00:15:28.649 But the more you do those, the more you find 00:15:28.649 --> 00:15:30.570 your inner voice because you can finally hear 00:15:30.570 --> 00:15:33.529 yourself talking, not that social media stuff 00:15:33.529 --> 00:15:35.549 that all this information being thrown at you, 00:15:35.570 --> 00:15:37.250 not even your loved ones who always have the 00:15:37.250 --> 00:15:39.590 best intentions at heart for you, but just to 00:15:39.590 --> 00:15:43.000 hear your voice. What are you saying? Yeah, I 00:15:43.000 --> 00:15:46.759 wanna add. So over the last 10 years, that's 00:15:46.759 --> 00:15:49.480 something I've made a point. I remember doing 00:15:49.480 --> 00:15:52.340 my first meals on my own. So I would go out to 00:15:52.340 --> 00:15:58.179 restaurants. I love to eat food outside. When 00:15:58.179 --> 00:16:01.080 you are comfortable in being there with your 00:16:01.080 --> 00:16:06.779 own company, you're good. You don't need anybody 00:16:06.779 --> 00:16:09.860 else there. You're happy and content in who you 00:16:09.860 --> 00:16:12.620 are. because a lot of times we feel like we need 00:16:12.620 --> 00:16:15.360 we need we need people don't get me wrong it's 00:16:15.360 --> 00:16:18.399 very good to have people around to support you 00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:23.259 and love you and family or companionship yeah 00:16:23.259 --> 00:16:26.580 that's all important but at the end of the day 00:16:26.580 --> 00:16:30.399 it's you who you're gonna have your best relationship 00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:33.960 with you and maybe a higher power or something 00:16:33.960 --> 00:16:38.629 but i i completely relate when you are able to 00:16:38.629 --> 00:16:41.129 and you should be able to spend time with yourself. 00:16:41.149 --> 00:16:43.610 So if that's in the medium of some kind of practice 00:16:43.610 --> 00:16:48.169 or going out to eat, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. 00:16:48.169 --> 00:16:50.570 If there's like a local park or local forest, 00:16:50.809 --> 00:16:54.090 just go by yourself. Like even if it's 20 minutes 00:16:54.090 --> 00:16:58.230 or 10 minutes, it really helps. Like for lack 00:16:58.230 --> 00:16:59.889 of a better word, I know it's used a lot, like 00:16:59.889 --> 00:17:03.299 detox. Detox or all this information overload 00:17:03.299 --> 00:17:05.799 all this stuff they have to always do because 00:17:05.799 --> 00:17:07.640 there's always stuff to do, right? There's always 00:17:07.640 --> 00:17:10.220 like you can't finish everything and don't go 00:17:10.220 --> 00:17:12.900 do rest. You have to make time for rest now. 00:17:13.140 --> 00:17:16.599 Yeah. To make a good point, spending time in 00:17:16.599 --> 00:17:20.059 nature is so healing. Even in Japan, you have 00:17:20.059 --> 00:17:23.839 doctors prescribing patients to go in the forest 00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:28.059 to like detox. There's a Japanese term called 00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:33.660 which translates to forest bathing so living 00:17:33.660 --> 00:17:37.079 on Vancouver Island that's the best thing like 00:17:37.079 --> 00:17:40.220 people there they immerse themselves in the forest 00:17:40.220 --> 00:17:44.759 all the time the ocean right there and or like 00:17:44.759 --> 00:17:47.640 Calgary is nice also because your mountains is 00:17:47.640 --> 00:17:49.980 not too far away and you have huge parks like 00:17:49.980 --> 00:17:52.480 Nose Hill Park like one of the second largest 00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:56.539 parks in North America the more you can you can 00:17:56.670 --> 00:17:59.589 immerse yourself in nature, the better. And I 00:17:59.589 --> 00:18:03.170 have a segment in the book that talks about that. 00:18:04.109 --> 00:18:07.289 Yeah. Yeah. Great way to define rejection in 00:18:07.289 --> 00:18:09.490 a way, because it all starts internally when 00:18:09.490 --> 00:18:12.089 we have that control over that negative self 00:18:12.089 --> 00:18:15.170 -talk. And we find that equilibrium eventually 00:18:15.170 --> 00:18:18.170 help us bring us in tune with our intuition and 00:18:18.170 --> 00:18:20.329 believe in ourselves more. I feel like we change 00:18:20.329 --> 00:18:22.390 our perspective naturally on it without having 00:18:22.390 --> 00:18:25.619 to change the external circumstances. that surround 00:18:25.619 --> 00:18:27.900 us. Because the external world is unpredictable. 00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:31.839 We can't control it. No matter how good or how 00:18:31.839 --> 00:18:34.700 talented you may be or good of a person you may 00:18:34.700 --> 00:18:37.660 be, you may be rejected in personal or professional 00:18:37.660 --> 00:18:40.539 life or both. And it's about finding that peace 00:18:40.539 --> 00:18:42.700 and calm in yourself. And someone said there's 00:18:42.700 --> 00:18:45.160 always, not sure if I can agree with the wording 00:18:45.160 --> 00:18:47.220 of this, but I like the message that it sends. 00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:49.480 Like there's always some kind of conflict that 00:18:49.480 --> 00:18:51.759 people can have in their lives, but true resilience 00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:55.569 and true equilibrium can be found where regardless 00:18:55.569 --> 00:18:57.589 of the conflicts that you face you can still 00:18:57.589 --> 00:18:59.730 maintain that peace and calm not because everything 00:18:59.730 --> 00:19:02.430 is great and dandy and everything is going fine 00:19:02.430 --> 00:19:05.410 because you know yeah that's a conflict yeah 00:19:05.410 --> 00:19:07.650 i'll get through it i don't know how yet but 00:19:07.650 --> 00:19:09.569 i trust myself that i will get through it sooner 00:19:09.569 --> 00:19:12.569 or later somehow and i think that's that's really 00:19:12.569 --> 00:19:15.470 good remaining optimistic remaining positive 00:19:15.470 --> 00:19:19.910 like the brain functions 30 better when it's 00:19:19.910 --> 00:19:22.930 thinking positively And you're making me think 00:19:22.930 --> 00:19:25.589 of an example that we used to do a lot of in 00:19:25.589 --> 00:19:28.650 martial arts. So the first key is like, stand, 00:19:28.670 --> 00:19:32.069 right? Like you're basically learning how to 00:19:32.069 --> 00:19:36.930 stand up straight, how to keep yourself grounded. 00:19:37.470 --> 00:19:42.069 So if you imagine a tree, a tree is always standing, 00:19:42.609 --> 00:19:48.789 irregardless of wind, snow, rain, right? It might 00:19:48.789 --> 00:19:53.519 shift a little bit. But it is to remain as grounded 00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:58.799 as it can and not be affected. So if you can 00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:04.140 remain grounded and strong above water, that 00:20:04.140 --> 00:20:08.660 helps us. And by keeping optimistic and keeping 00:20:08.660 --> 00:20:12.099 positive, it's one of the biggest values actually 00:20:12.099 --> 00:20:17.059 that I really thank my parents for. I think that's 00:20:17.059 --> 00:20:21.859 been good. Laughable like the first 15 minutes 00:20:21.859 --> 00:20:25.000 of waking up in the morning at all jokes and 00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:28.599 fun To be able to tease each other kind of but 00:20:28.599 --> 00:20:32.680 always remaining positive and at a very good 00:20:32.680 --> 00:20:37.980 a good frequency Yeah, people are listening nowadays 00:20:37.980 --> 00:20:44.000 to classical music Indian hymns or like Chinese 00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:48.450 hymns or folk songs because they're all radiating 00:20:48.450 --> 00:20:53.589 at 500 Hertz. Okay, great. How much of that can 00:20:53.589 --> 00:20:58.009 you also, can you embody some of the other wisdom 00:20:58.009 --> 00:21:02.210 in those practices from across the world that 00:21:02.210 --> 00:21:06.609 say, you know, think about your mind. We're not. 00:21:07.109 --> 00:21:10.269 We're consuming media like no tomorrow. We're 00:21:10.269 --> 00:21:12.450 sometimes, we're not following our own paths. 00:21:13.650 --> 00:21:17.960 We're mistrusting. That's why actually, in the 00:21:17.960 --> 00:21:20.200 book I've tried to share a lot of wisdoms that 00:21:20.200 --> 00:21:23.839 I've learned from like ancient texts because 00:21:23.839 --> 00:21:27.119 I feel like that's something we can't forget 00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:32.099 where the world is very cyclical so history repeats 00:21:32.099 --> 00:21:35.819 itself people used to wear baggy pants back in 00:21:35.819 --> 00:21:39.920 2000s baggy pants are coming back in now yeah 00:21:39.920 --> 00:21:43.079 I do want to segue a little bit um I know that 00:21:43.079 --> 00:21:45.730 throughout the book You do use the word action, 00:21:45.910 --> 00:21:48.990 the word action a lot, and you emphasize how 00:21:48.990 --> 00:21:52.170 taking appropriate action can help us lead a 00:21:52.170 --> 00:21:55.849 more successful and fulfilling life, and not 00:21:55.849 --> 00:21:57.789 just successful in terms of monetary wealth. 00:21:57.809 --> 00:22:00.250 I just want to ask, and I know I take this back 00:22:00.250 --> 00:22:03.029 to a lot with rejection, but I thought it would 00:22:03.029 --> 00:22:05.190 be great to tie the theme of this podcast and 00:22:05.190 --> 00:22:07.589 with your book. When we are faced with rejection, 00:22:07.750 --> 00:22:09.329 and there's different types of rejection, there 00:22:09.329 --> 00:22:12.829 can be a romantic, personal, professional, academic. 00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:15.839 whatever it is, and we kind of touched upon this, 00:22:16.019 --> 00:22:19.819 but what actions can you take to deal with those 00:22:19.819 --> 00:22:22.359 rejections and eventually become successful, 00:22:22.440 --> 00:22:25.099 whatever that may mean? And do you think the 00:22:25.099 --> 00:22:28.099 action may look different depending on the type 00:22:28.099 --> 00:22:30.759 of rejection you are dealing with? I know we 00:22:30.759 --> 00:22:33.460 talked a lot about how a lot of rejection is 00:22:33.460 --> 00:22:37.140 internal, but I do want to see how we can approach 00:22:37.140 --> 00:22:39.589 this question now that we've addressed the important. 00:22:39.849 --> 00:22:43.150 So not rejecting yourself internally. So yeah, 00:22:43.410 --> 00:22:48.910 go ahead. Okay. Yeah, so I would say if it comes 00:22:48.910 --> 00:22:53.609 to say rejection from academia, right? You apply 00:22:53.609 --> 00:22:57.529 for med school, you got rejected. Your action 00:22:57.529 --> 00:23:00.529 is really number one. Am I applying again next 00:23:00.529 --> 00:23:03.410 year? What can I do to bolster that application? 00:23:03.589 --> 00:23:07.579 Can I go elsewhere? If your rejection is in business 00:23:07.579 --> 00:23:11.900 or monetary wise. Okay. Well, how, how can you 00:23:11.900 --> 00:23:14.920 change that and what can you do differently the 00:23:14.920 --> 00:23:17.460 second time around? So if you were not knowledgeable 00:23:17.460 --> 00:23:19.940 in your investments, how can you gain the knowledge? 00:23:20.019 --> 00:23:21.779 How can you surround yourself with the people 00:23:21.779 --> 00:23:25.019 who have the know -how to help you get to your 00:23:25.019 --> 00:23:29.599 end goal? If your rejection is personal, so in 00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:32.140 a relationship and yeah, you're in a breakup 00:23:32.140 --> 00:23:35.349 or you're feeling upset or you're sad, know that 00:23:35.349 --> 00:23:38.130 okay that time will pass as well but what did 00:23:38.130 --> 00:23:40.549 you learn from it what have you learned about 00:23:40.549 --> 00:23:44.170 who you are or who the other person was and how 00:23:44.170 --> 00:23:47.950 can you move forward with that to enhance and 00:23:47.950 --> 00:23:51.230 better your next endeavor life is not over till 00:23:51.230 --> 00:23:56.190 you're gone okay even that like a lot of uh indian 00:23:56.190 --> 00:23:59.849 mythology believes in like reincarnation i'll 00:23:59.849 --> 00:24:02.089 say maybe it's gonna keep going afterwards but 00:24:02.089 --> 00:24:05.269 do not give up and do not Do not stay at that 00:24:05.269 --> 00:24:08.369 low level. A lot of people can be in despair 00:24:08.369 --> 00:24:12.490 for a long time. They can hold on to things for 00:24:12.490 --> 00:24:15.230 too long. Whether that's material goods with 00:24:15.230 --> 00:24:22.490 family feuds on property or that's just stalking 00:24:22.490 --> 00:24:25.309 in your own sadness or the past. We talked about 00:24:25.309 --> 00:24:27.410 the past, present, and future. All I know is 00:24:27.410 --> 00:24:30.829 really today and right now. Tomorrow I have no 00:24:30.829 --> 00:24:33.519 idea. I can plan. Oh, I can plan and plan and 00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:36.259 plan for the next five years. I can have my calendar 00:24:36.259 --> 00:24:38.940 schedule set, but anything can change. And actually 00:24:38.940 --> 00:24:41.779 there's one boat in the knowledgement section. 00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:46.180 Man proposes. So man proposes. I can propose 00:24:46.180 --> 00:24:49.940 what I want, but God disposes. It doesn't have 00:24:49.940 --> 00:24:52.759 to be God, whatever you want it, but know that 00:24:52.759 --> 00:24:56.099 it's not always going to work in the same outline. 00:24:56.279 --> 00:24:58.420 And everybody's trying to plan out their life. 00:25:00.170 --> 00:25:02.970 like I want to be married by a certain age. I 00:25:02.970 --> 00:25:06.509 want to have kids by a certain age, but know 00:25:06.509 --> 00:25:10.369 that the best way I think is actually to yes, 00:25:10.750 --> 00:25:13.369 plan and become better at yourself and what you're 00:25:13.369 --> 00:25:17.369 doing, but know how to adapt. If you can adapt 00:25:17.369 --> 00:25:20.970 and if you can adapt to current trends or you 00:25:20.970 --> 00:25:24.349 can adapt to whatever comes at you, that's the 00:25:24.349 --> 00:25:28.490 best way. That will help you a lot. It's remaining 00:25:28.490 --> 00:25:32.109 flexible. In martial arts, we stretch and we 00:25:32.109 --> 00:25:36.569 keep the body nimble so you can adapt and move. 00:25:36.829 --> 00:25:40.529 That's the whole point. So if you take flexibility 00:25:40.529 --> 00:25:43.769 in your life, knowing that, okay, you know what? 00:25:44.450 --> 00:25:47.130 This year I got rejected from med school. That 00:25:47.130 --> 00:25:49.650 gives me a whole year. In one whole year, I can 00:25:49.650 --> 00:25:52.509 do so much more and come back. And if I want 00:25:52.509 --> 00:25:54.730 to apply again, now I have this whole other breadth 00:25:54.730 --> 00:25:59.359 of experience with me. I agree and I always emphasize 00:25:59.359 --> 00:26:02.339 this too. Coming back to the idea of resilience, 00:26:02.579 --> 00:26:04.859 it adds to your resilience too when you are ready 00:26:04.859 --> 00:26:07.720 to adapt. So it's good to make plans. It's good 00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:10.759 to have goals and stay consistent and be productive, 00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:13.279 but sometimes just things do not happen. For 00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:15.579 example, I wrote the AmCat three times and then 00:26:15.579 --> 00:26:18.180 before my third testing attempt, the day before 00:26:18.180 --> 00:26:21.200 I dislocated my kneecap. Oh my. Who would have 00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:23.599 expected that, right? Right? It did happen. Because 00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:26.559 that happened, I slept bad. I did not do good 00:26:26.559 --> 00:26:29.700 on that test attempt either. And I got one point 00:26:29.700 --> 00:26:32.339 below the threshold they were asking for at University 00:26:32.339 --> 00:26:35.599 of Alberta. Like so many things just happened. 00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:39.380 And I was very tempted to like sulk in it. And 00:26:39.380 --> 00:26:42.859 you know, and I always say this in my talks as 00:26:42.859 --> 00:26:44.900 well is like, you know, acknowledge all the emotions 00:26:44.900 --> 00:26:47.099 that come in. We're human. I mean, it's good 00:26:47.099 --> 00:26:50.910 to aim to be positive and happy and I think that 00:26:50.910 --> 00:26:53.470 comes naturally when you when you give yourself 00:26:53.470 --> 00:26:55.349 grace so when you are into yourself and find 00:26:55.349 --> 00:26:57.730 that equilibrium and joy but sometimes there 00:26:57.730 --> 00:26:59.630 are moments in life when you are sad and it's 00:26:59.630 --> 00:27:02.029 okay to let yourself be sad and I was sad but 00:27:02.029 --> 00:27:03.890 then eventually I came to that point where I 00:27:03.890 --> 00:27:05.730 thought okay what could I do to grow from this 00:27:05.730 --> 00:27:08.630 I still decided to go through and apply for schools 00:27:08.630 --> 00:27:11.430 yes I didn't get in I I did not get an interview 00:27:11.430 --> 00:27:14.609 um but I thought what can I and again this was 00:27:14.609 --> 00:27:17.859 all gradual It wasn't easy. I'm not trying to 00:27:17.859 --> 00:27:21.240 sugarcoat this experience, but eventually I did 00:27:21.240 --> 00:27:23.539 try and see what I could learn and how I could 00:27:23.539 --> 00:27:25.779 grow from this. That's how this podcast was born 00:27:25.779 --> 00:27:28.420 too. First it was just for premeds. Now it kind 00:27:28.420 --> 00:27:31.180 of broadens talk about rejection in general and 00:27:31.180 --> 00:27:33.119 invite people from all walks of life and backgrounds. 00:27:33.259 --> 00:27:35.740 But at first it was just... to help me and hopefully 00:27:35.740 --> 00:27:38.019 people in my position similar to my position 00:27:38.019 --> 00:27:40.519 to understand what we're supposed to do now like 00:27:40.519 --> 00:27:42.240 we didn't get accepted like or we should we keep 00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:44.519 applying or should we not keep applying um and 00:27:44.519 --> 00:27:47.299 all of that but but you're right it's about taking 00:27:47.299 --> 00:27:50.519 action and you can make plans and talk to people 00:27:50.519 --> 00:27:53.660 but being adaptable and i find that adds to your 00:27:53.660 --> 00:27:56.500 resilience and We've touched upon this a little 00:27:56.500 --> 00:28:00.000 bit, but in your book you talk about fear a lot. 00:28:00.220 --> 00:28:02.160 There's this notion that if we don't get that 00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:04.140 fear aspect under control, then it will most 00:28:04.140 --> 00:28:06.700 likely will control us and it can become a negative 00:28:06.700 --> 00:28:09.180 force in our lives that won't serve us very well. 00:28:09.660 --> 00:28:13.519 And fear is something we all as humans tend to 00:28:13.519 --> 00:28:15.619 experience at certain points. For example, there 00:28:15.619 --> 00:28:17.579 is fear of failure, there's fear of rejection, 00:28:17.839 --> 00:28:19.859 there's even fear of making the wrong choice 00:28:19.859 --> 00:28:22.180 and trying to be perfect and choosing your career 00:28:22.180 --> 00:28:24.990 or life partner. Now, this is a bit of a loaded 00:28:24.990 --> 00:28:29.069 question, but how do you deal with fear in your 00:28:29.069 --> 00:28:32.750 life? And where can other people start, especially 00:28:32.750 --> 00:28:35.789 if they already feel fearful or anxious? They're 00:28:35.789 --> 00:28:39.589 in that mode. In other words, how to avoid letting 00:28:39.589 --> 00:28:43.630 fear get in the way of our decision making. Yeah. 00:28:44.069 --> 00:28:50.750 Yeah. So I'm gonna say I'm not scared of anything 00:28:50.750 --> 00:28:55.940 anymore. You want me to walk into a burning fire? 00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:58.500 Okay, that is scary because that is a logical 00:28:58.500 --> 00:29:02.200 fear, right? So they're logical and illogical 00:29:02.200 --> 00:29:04.839 fear. You want me to go and introduce myself 00:29:04.839 --> 00:29:08.579 to somebody to do business or introduce them 00:29:08.579 --> 00:29:11.660 or help them? I'm seeing somebody in this true 00:29:11.660 --> 00:29:15.480 dress. Don't be fearful of things that are intuitively 00:29:15.480 --> 00:29:19.519 who you are. If I'm driving and I see a head 00:29:19.519 --> 00:29:22.089 -on car crash and This happened last week. I 00:29:22.089 --> 00:29:25.369 got out of the car to make sure hold over to 00:29:25.369 --> 00:29:28.569 stop and make sure these people had help. So 00:29:28.569 --> 00:29:32.309 I think if you allow fear to hold you back, you're 00:29:32.309 --> 00:29:36.289 always going to think what if, right? So the 00:29:36.289 --> 00:29:38.750 more you hold yourself back, the more you're 00:29:38.750 --> 00:29:43.069 doing yourself a disservice and that goes back 00:29:43.069 --> 00:29:46.309 to you being true to yourself and living by that 00:29:46.309 --> 00:29:50.390 quote of you are yourself's best friend. As long 00:29:50.390 --> 00:29:53.730 as your choice is not impacting anybody negatively, 00:29:54.250 --> 00:29:59.250 I think it's okay to pursue. And yeah, trusting 00:29:59.250 --> 00:30:02.890 your intuition is key. That's something that 00:30:02.890 --> 00:30:12.750 is, it's like a muscle you can work on. And we're 00:30:12.750 --> 00:30:15.789 scared sometimes. I used to have so many fears. 00:30:15.910 --> 00:30:18.779 I used to fear When I was younger, I would fear 00:30:18.779 --> 00:30:21.579 speaking up a lot. Like, this is probably a good 00:30:21.579 --> 00:30:24.660 story. When I first moved to Canada, I had to 00:30:24.660 --> 00:30:27.420 do an aptitude test. I was coming from Africa 00:30:27.420 --> 00:30:29.779 and I was in grade three and I had just finished 00:30:29.779 --> 00:30:32.579 up grade three over there. But I was coming here 00:30:32.579 --> 00:30:35.579 and because you're a new student and I grew up 00:30:35.579 --> 00:30:38.440 in Nigeria and I went to a British school. So 00:30:38.440 --> 00:30:41.119 we spoke English all the time. Went to a Catholic 00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:44.539 school. We opened with the Father's Prayer every 00:30:44.539 --> 00:30:49.210 morning. So a very like English school. And when 00:30:49.210 --> 00:30:52.690 I moved to Toronto, we had to do an aptitude 00:30:52.690 --> 00:30:55.109 test, right? To just kind of see where you're 00:30:55.109 --> 00:30:58.789 at. And I remember in the test, the lady was 00:30:58.789 --> 00:31:01.769 showing me flashcards and was like, okay, what 00:31:01.769 --> 00:31:05.069 are these images? And it came on onto an image 00:31:05.069 --> 00:31:09.069 of a helicopter. And because I was fearful of 00:31:09.069 --> 00:31:12.269 stuttering, I didn't say the word. I knew... 00:31:12.349 --> 00:31:14.329 what a helicopter was i was a nine -year -old 00:31:14.329 --> 00:31:17.730 kid i loved helicopters but that one action actually 00:31:17.730 --> 00:31:20.750 probably in her mind was like oh this kid doesn't 00:31:20.750 --> 00:31:23.690 know what a helicopter is he's got a redo grade 00:31:23.690 --> 00:31:29.549 three so i had to do grade three again i think 00:31:29.549 --> 00:31:35.309 the fear the fear was me against myself in a 00:31:35.309 --> 00:31:39.680 way it's being vulnerable and open that allows 00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:45.380 you to be successful and to learn and move forward 00:31:45.380 --> 00:31:48.900 stronger. Thank you for that. Thank you for that 00:31:48.900 --> 00:31:51.779 story. I remember they made me do that test too. 00:31:51.940 --> 00:31:56.759 I was so stressed. Thank you for sharing that. 00:31:56.859 --> 00:31:59.819 It's a great example of how fear can get in the 00:31:59.819 --> 00:32:02.680 way and being mindful and having that self -awareness 00:32:02.680 --> 00:32:06.180 too. And I went to a conference for personal 00:32:06.180 --> 00:32:09.079 development recently, and they they talked about 00:32:09.079 --> 00:32:12.400 how do you tell apart between fear and intuition? 00:32:12.700 --> 00:32:15.079 Because sometimes they're both strong inner voices, 00:32:15.119 --> 00:32:16.880 and you don't know how to tell them apart sometimes. 00:32:17.019 --> 00:32:19.220 And tell me if you agree with this. Yeah. But 00:32:19.220 --> 00:32:21.740 they said fear, when it's fear anxiety, you feel 00:32:21.740 --> 00:32:24.660 this pit in your stomach, you feel like, like, 00:32:24.779 --> 00:32:27.099 what if this is not enough? Like, it's all out 00:32:27.099 --> 00:32:32.619 of anxiety and self preservation. It's a voice 00:32:32.619 --> 00:32:35.200 that's out of fear. When it's intuition, it's 00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:38.119 more of a curiosity. It's like, oh, what if I 00:32:38.119 --> 00:32:41.359 did this? There's no anxiety behind it. There's 00:32:41.359 --> 00:32:45.940 no, um, like worry that this may mean you're 00:32:45.940 --> 00:32:48.440 not enough or you start worrying about what other 00:32:48.440 --> 00:32:50.759 people might think. There's genuine curiosity 00:32:50.759 --> 00:32:53.960 in there. So, um, yeah, that's how I kind of 00:32:53.960 --> 00:32:57.539 try to tell those apart. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. 00:32:57.599 --> 00:33:01.890 I think I agree. I think when it's a fear, it's 00:33:01.890 --> 00:33:06.309 more of a fight or flight response. And I think 00:33:06.309 --> 00:33:09.170 that goes back to like a logical fear. We're 00:33:09.170 --> 00:33:12.210 scared of falling from the sky. Which is valid, 00:33:12.390 --> 00:33:16.490 right? We're scared of fires and we're scared 00:33:16.490 --> 00:33:21.569 of loud noises often. Now in Tuition, I really 00:33:21.569 --> 00:33:25.009 like that you say curiosity because that's exactly 00:33:25.009 --> 00:33:28.450 it. If you're in line and you see somebody with 00:33:28.450 --> 00:33:30.970 a really cool shirt on, you're like, hey, I really 00:33:30.970 --> 00:33:33.829 like that shirt. I'm going to tell them a compliment. 00:33:34.329 --> 00:33:38.150 But you're fearful, but you're also curious where 00:33:38.150 --> 00:33:40.589 they got that shirt from. Yeah. I'm glad that 00:33:40.589 --> 00:33:42.190 we were able to bring this up because sometimes 00:33:42.190 --> 00:33:44.269 I could listen to your intuition, but lots of 00:33:44.269 --> 00:33:45.730 people, especially when they're just starting 00:33:45.730 --> 00:33:48.589 on that journey of getting to know themselves 00:33:48.589 --> 00:33:50.630 and knowing what it is that they want, it's hard 00:33:50.630 --> 00:33:53.700 to tell between fear. and intuition because so 00:33:53.700 --> 00:33:56.359 often fear can be ingrained in our lives from 00:33:56.359 --> 00:33:58.740 very early on and it can become a big part of 00:33:58.740 --> 00:34:02.680 us so it's about separating in a way almost yourself 00:34:02.680 --> 00:34:04.940 from that fear and seeing what that okay this 00:34:04.940 --> 00:34:07.480 doesn't serve me this comes from a place of anxiety 00:34:07.480 --> 00:34:10.260 let's let's move into the intuition however that 00:34:10.260 --> 00:34:13.699 um may look like but from reading uh the book 00:34:13.699 --> 00:34:17.679 again this one thing that i really uh liked and 00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:21.469 that stood out to me about you is your refusal 00:34:21.469 --> 00:34:24.030 to be defined by just one thing in your life, 00:34:24.329 --> 00:34:26.530 right? You don't want to just be defined as a 00:34:26.530 --> 00:34:28.469 businessman or just a singer or just a stand 00:34:28.469 --> 00:34:32.090 -up comedian or an actor. You actively push away 00:34:32.090 --> 00:34:35.250 labels, which I find is so refreshing because 00:34:35.250 --> 00:34:37.070 in our society sometimes it's just like, oh, 00:34:37.110 --> 00:34:38.570 so what do you work? What do you do? And you're 00:34:38.570 --> 00:34:41.659 supposed to name one thing. And it always stresses 00:34:41.659 --> 00:34:43.420 me out because I don't know what to tell them. 00:34:43.480 --> 00:34:46.460 I do many things and I don't know what to tell 00:34:46.460 --> 00:34:47.860 them. And then there's this fear. It's like, 00:34:47.880 --> 00:34:49.539 oh, should I be doing this one thing? Because 00:34:49.539 --> 00:34:51.539 everyone else is doing this. But you actively 00:34:51.539 --> 00:34:53.659 push away labels and you focus on figuring out 00:34:53.659 --> 00:34:55.480 what it is that you're good at, your natural 00:34:55.480 --> 00:34:57.960 gifts, abilities, as you call them in your book, 00:34:58.159 --> 00:34:59.980 and you work with them. You work with them and 00:34:59.980 --> 00:35:01.699 improving yourself at it and becoming better, 00:35:01.699 --> 00:35:03.780 better, better. And you show people that it is 00:35:03.780 --> 00:35:06.179 possible to pursue business while also recording 00:35:06.179 --> 00:35:09.300 music on the side, for example. And I am very 00:35:09.300 --> 00:35:11.739 curious to know, do you think this versatile 00:35:11.739 --> 00:35:14.699 approach to life, has it helped you become more 00:35:14.699 --> 00:35:17.679 resilient in some way? Has it contributed to 00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:20.900 your resilience? That's a great question. I would 00:35:20.900 --> 00:35:25.280 say it 100 % has. I'm going to say there's no 00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:28.500 right or wrong path. You can do just one career 00:35:28.500 --> 00:35:31.639 choice and become skilled in that field. But 00:35:31.639 --> 00:35:35.760 my upbringing, my background, my experiences 00:35:35.760 --> 00:35:38.619 have shown me that You don't have to just remain 00:35:38.619 --> 00:35:42.179 in one industry. PepsiCo doesn't just own Pepsi 00:35:42.179 --> 00:35:46.539 as a brand. Coca -Cola doesn't just own Coca 00:35:46.539 --> 00:35:50.260 -Cola. Companies own companies. People are a 00:35:50.260 --> 00:35:52.739 variety of different archetypes. They're not 00:35:52.739 --> 00:35:56.260 just one sided. You might be focused more in 00:35:56.260 --> 00:35:59.659 some areas and that's good, but we are pretty 00:35:59.659 --> 00:36:02.400 versatile and remaining dynamic has helped me 00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:05.039 a lot. I'm able to understand things quicker. 00:36:05.320 --> 00:36:09.519 I'm able to enjoy more of my work because I can 00:36:09.519 --> 00:36:13.400 learn more about various industries. And I'm 00:36:13.400 --> 00:36:17.360 able to challenge myself and, and enjoy it. And 00:36:17.360 --> 00:36:21.079 the industries I pick, I love. So I love music. 00:36:21.340 --> 00:36:25.659 So to record for freestyle rap and, and express 00:36:25.659 --> 00:36:29.880 in a way comes back again to like the expression. 00:36:30.139 --> 00:36:32.760 form of being able to write or being able to 00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:35.940 speak or being able to think and to be able to 00:36:35.940 --> 00:36:40.880 share. So, and then doing business by background, 00:36:41.239 --> 00:36:43.480 that's what I've done. That's what I've studied. 00:36:44.099 --> 00:36:49.159 I enjoy commerce. I feel like it only does you 00:36:49.159 --> 00:36:53.719 a disservice if number one, it's taking you away 00:36:53.719 --> 00:36:56.139 from your end goal. And number two, if you're 00:36:56.139 --> 00:36:58.840 really not enjoying it, you have to like what 00:36:58.840 --> 00:37:01.349 you do. and I've realized that more and more 00:37:01.349 --> 00:37:06.190 as I've grown into my various careers if you 00:37:06.190 --> 00:37:10.809 live and work a job and a life just because you're 00:37:10.809 --> 00:37:14.429 counting down the clock well you might not make 00:37:14.429 --> 00:37:18.909 it past the clock you need to enjoy a lot of 00:37:18.909 --> 00:37:21.210 the segments in there I take a lot of words from 00:37:21.210 --> 00:37:26.869 my grandmom and she's 86 every time she still 00:37:26.869 --> 00:37:28.730 asks me she's like are you happy in what you're 00:37:28.730 --> 00:37:32.059 doing And I think that's when you're ultimately 00:37:32.059 --> 00:37:36.940 joyful, then nothing else matters. You have an 00:37:36.940 --> 00:37:42.699 emotion of joy. And I was hesitant to say love 00:37:42.699 --> 00:37:46.119 there because when you have joy, you have love. 00:37:48.019 --> 00:37:50.760 So yeah, I would say either path is fine. You 00:37:50.760 --> 00:37:54.199 want to go and specialize in one field, one industry. 00:37:54.659 --> 00:37:57.579 That is good. No problem. You might though see 00:37:57.579 --> 00:37:59.559 that a lot of people who do specialize in one 00:37:59.559 --> 00:38:01.980 field, one industry, they end up going into other 00:38:01.980 --> 00:38:06.760 fields afterward. Yeah. So I think as much as 00:38:06.760 --> 00:38:09.400 you can explore and find and find what you have 00:38:09.400 --> 00:38:13.539 interest in. That involves doing exploration 00:38:13.539 --> 00:38:15.539 sometimes and for a long time I was limiting 00:38:15.539 --> 00:38:18.119 myself to just medicine and I know listeners 00:38:18.119 --> 00:38:20.239 are probably tired of hearing this because I 00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:22.519 kind of say different ways the same thing every 00:38:22.519 --> 00:38:25.320 episode almost but I was limited to this medicine. 00:38:26.099 --> 00:38:29.119 bubble and in a way the rejection forced me to 00:38:29.119 --> 00:38:31.420 a bit look outside of that and see what else 00:38:31.420 --> 00:38:33.500 is out there. How else can I help people? How 00:38:33.500 --> 00:38:36.619 else can I make an impact? And again, it brings 00:38:36.619 --> 00:38:40.039 me peace because I know for now I don't want 00:38:40.039 --> 00:38:42.539 to pursue medicine. I don't see myself in that. 00:38:42.619 --> 00:38:45.380 Maybe in the future I will want to. Maybe. I 00:38:45.380 --> 00:38:47.260 don't want to rule that out forever. I don't 00:38:47.260 --> 00:38:49.099 know what will happen in the future. Maybe I'll 00:38:49.099 --> 00:38:51.659 feel a sudden urge to pursue it again, allowing 00:38:51.659 --> 00:38:53.900 yourself to explore, give yourself that grace 00:38:53.900 --> 00:38:56.619 and that brings me so much joy and so much peace 00:38:56.619 --> 00:38:59.539 and I'm able to not only live myself in that 00:38:59.539 --> 00:39:02.599 joy and peace but I find that when you give yourself 00:39:02.599 --> 00:39:05.739 permission to be yourself and you talk about 00:39:05.739 --> 00:39:08.500 that with other people, other people potentially 00:39:08.500 --> 00:39:11.860 maybe can also follow that and kind of it spreads 00:39:11.860 --> 00:39:14.099 when you try to live that life that you stay 00:39:14.099 --> 00:39:16.239 true to yourself, you help other people in a 00:39:16.239 --> 00:39:19.539 way even if it's indirectly. And one thing I 00:39:19.539 --> 00:39:23.059 like made me think of is like, okay, we idolize 00:39:23.059 --> 00:39:25.539 a lot of people who are, you can say artists. 00:39:26.199 --> 00:39:30.099 Okay. So artists, we idolize. Why do we idolize 00:39:30.099 --> 00:39:33.679 artists? Because they are themselves. They are, 00:39:33.719 --> 00:39:35.900 they are, and they're sharing it with the world. 00:39:36.940 --> 00:39:39.360 When you are comfortable in who you are and you're 00:39:39.360 --> 00:39:44.639 sharing that, people see it as true or your truth. 00:39:45.300 --> 00:39:49.230 And I think that's key. Because everybody behind 00:39:49.230 --> 00:39:51.489 them has something that they enjoy or wanted 00:39:51.489 --> 00:39:54.469 to do. And a lot of times, they don't get to 00:39:54.469 --> 00:39:57.690 live out those dreams because of, say, family 00:39:57.690 --> 00:40:01.909 responsibility, children, just any circumstance 00:40:01.909 --> 00:40:05.489 that has come your way, willingly or non -willingly. 00:40:06.369 --> 00:40:09.309 Yeah, but that said, for example, even from the 00:40:09.309 --> 00:40:12.349 last episode, a guest was sharing how there was 00:40:12.349 --> 00:40:14.849 this individual, he really wanted to be an actor, 00:40:15.110 --> 00:40:17.809 kept pursuing that, pursuing that, he... Eventually, 00:40:17.869 --> 00:40:19.809 he realized that he could not just pursue that 00:40:19.809 --> 00:40:23.170 as a job. So he helped his brother run a business 00:40:23.170 --> 00:40:26.190 with cement or something. So now he's doing that. 00:40:26.210 --> 00:40:29.409 That brings him steady income. He feels secure. 00:40:29.650 --> 00:40:32.289 But best part is that he's able to do community 00:40:32.289 --> 00:40:34.969 theater. So in a way, it's not always all or 00:40:34.969 --> 00:40:38.090 nothing. Yeah, sometimes you do have to find 00:40:38.090 --> 00:40:41.170 ways to put food on the table. That can be your 00:40:41.170 --> 00:40:43.489 primary means of income, but that doesn't mean 00:40:43.489 --> 00:40:46.190 there won't be any time you can't find time to 00:40:46.190 --> 00:40:48.250 pursue your hobbies or maybe even take those 00:40:48.250 --> 00:40:50.360 hobbies and make it into a business. And like 00:40:50.360 --> 00:40:52.380 you said, sometimes you're just fine with having 00:40:52.380 --> 00:40:54.940 that one job and finding satisfaction in your 00:40:54.940 --> 00:40:58.500 family or in whatever else that you do. So find 00:40:58.500 --> 00:41:00.980 what it is that brings you joy and just stick 00:41:00.980 --> 00:41:03.619 to it. And there's no specific script or formula 00:41:03.619 --> 00:41:06.019 for that. I think that's what frustrates people. 00:41:06.239 --> 00:41:08.840 But personally, that brings me a lot of joy and 00:41:08.840 --> 00:41:11.019 freedom because it's not all written in stone. 00:41:11.320 --> 00:41:13.699 This is not one way to be happy or one way to 00:41:13.699 --> 00:41:15.639 have a joy. It's all about kind of just seeing 00:41:15.639 --> 00:41:18.019 what works for you in your circumstances, in 00:41:18.019 --> 00:41:21.059 your situation. 100%. I couldn't agree with you 00:41:21.059 --> 00:41:25.340 more. And it's about being content and not giving 00:41:25.340 --> 00:41:27.360 up. So I'm happy to hear that individual who 00:41:27.360 --> 00:41:30.039 wanted to do acting, you know, he's found a method, 00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:33.719 a medium to satisfy that, to feed his inner soul. 00:41:34.280 --> 00:41:36.320 And the best thing about that person is that 00:41:36.320 --> 00:41:38.800 he actually loves his business. He loves both 00:41:38.800 --> 00:41:40.699 of those things, but he wouldn't even know that 00:41:40.699 --> 00:41:42.340 he loves that business if he didn't even try 00:41:42.340 --> 00:41:45.309 it. But yeah, building on that last question, 00:41:45.389 --> 00:41:47.190 what advice would you give to listeners about 00:41:47.190 --> 00:41:49.690 developing resilience then based on your multifaceted 00:41:49.690 --> 00:41:51.650 career and your travels? And again, we've kind 00:41:51.650 --> 00:41:54.269 of covered this, Oli said it's not set in stone, 00:41:54.510 --> 00:41:56.050 but is there anything else you want to address 00:41:56.050 --> 00:41:59.789 here? I would just say every experience that 00:41:59.789 --> 00:42:02.210 you have is going to help you get to where you're 00:42:02.210 --> 00:42:05.769 going. I had a friend who shared this with me. 00:42:05.969 --> 00:42:08.349 They would say, we're all on the same journey 00:42:08.349 --> 00:42:14.409 and we're just walking our own paths. So I would 00:42:14.409 --> 00:42:17.329 say, don't forget that. Don't forget that, you 00:42:17.329 --> 00:42:19.949 know, there's other people beside you and in 00:42:19.949 --> 00:42:22.170 the world who are probably thinking the same 00:42:22.170 --> 00:42:26.269 things. So lean on others when you need to and 00:42:26.269 --> 00:42:28.389 you don't do it on your own. Yeah, leaning on 00:42:28.389 --> 00:42:32.070 your support systems. Yes. Would you be comfortable 00:42:32.070 --> 00:42:35.789 sharing any personal, I call it rejection story, 00:42:35.929 --> 00:42:38.610 but any time in your life where you either experienced 00:42:38.610 --> 00:42:41.239 rejection or a time where you felt... rejected, 00:42:41.239 --> 00:42:43.960 whether professionally, personally, or academically. 00:42:44.199 --> 00:42:46.099 And if you are comfortable with that, please 00:42:46.099 --> 00:42:48.619 share. Like, how did you overcome this experience? 00:42:48.719 --> 00:42:50.360 Maybe you're still overcoming it. Maybe you're 00:42:50.360 --> 00:42:53.440 never fully overcoming this. Yes, I had on one 00:42:53.440 --> 00:42:55.639 of my episodes and said, and he said, do we ever 00:42:55.639 --> 00:42:57.699 overcome anything? We just kind of move forward 00:42:57.699 --> 00:43:00.380 and learn from it. But I wonder what your perspective 00:43:00.380 --> 00:43:03.320 on it is. And what did you learn from that experience? 00:43:04.320 --> 00:43:07.989 Totally. I would say I probably I had a feeling 00:43:07.989 --> 00:43:11.429 of rejection all those facets when it comes to 00:43:11.429 --> 00:43:14.590 career. I mean, like there's been jobs that I've 00:43:14.590 --> 00:43:17.210 applied to like over a hundred jobs and then 00:43:17.210 --> 00:43:20.489 you get one interview or you're working in a 00:43:20.489 --> 00:43:23.050 team and you're applying to get promoted and 00:43:23.050 --> 00:43:25.429 because of various reasons, it might not happen 00:43:25.429 --> 00:43:28.050 academically. I'll share with you. I applied 00:43:28.050 --> 00:43:32.630 to become an SLP, not next year, but in 2027. 00:43:33.570 --> 00:43:36.409 Yes, it got rejected. Does that mean I'm not 00:43:36.409 --> 00:43:39.349 gonna apply again? Maybe not right now and right 00:43:39.349 --> 00:43:42.769 now I'm not prepared to to move into that career 00:43:42.769 --> 00:43:46.130 full -time. I could still see that with this 00:43:46.130 --> 00:43:48.469 book and this words which have been created I 00:43:48.469 --> 00:43:51.829 can share these messages to help people. I could 00:43:51.829 --> 00:43:55.809 see myself creating businesses focused on say 00:43:55.809 --> 00:43:59.530 a call center for only people who stutter. So 00:43:59.530 --> 00:44:03.289 you have literally people who might not be able 00:44:03.289 --> 00:44:07.130 to feel so much confidence in speech being the 00:44:07.130 --> 00:44:10.969 one behind the phones talking to people. That's 00:44:10.969 --> 00:44:15.190 how you get out of that shell. That's beautiful. 00:44:15.349 --> 00:44:18.610 Thank you. We are soon coming to an end of this 00:44:18.610 --> 00:44:21.510 episode and thank you for your really refreshing 00:44:21.510 --> 00:44:24.710 perspective and I want to say big thanks for 00:44:24.710 --> 00:44:27.369 your time today. What would you say are the important... 00:44:27.659 --> 00:44:31.059 takeaways for anyone tuning into today's episode. 00:44:31.059 --> 00:44:32.900 I know we've talked about a lot of things, but 00:44:32.900 --> 00:44:36.980 what are your main takeaways would you say? I 00:44:36.980 --> 00:44:40.960 would say number one, don't hold yourself back 00:44:40.960 --> 00:44:46.199 from rejection. Number two, step into fear. And 00:44:46.199 --> 00:44:51.139 number three, make the most of every minute because 00:44:51.139 --> 00:44:56.139 that's where you can act. Right. Thank you. And 00:44:56.139 --> 00:44:59.059 what is the best way for listeners to connect 00:44:59.059 --> 00:45:28.530 with you? Stuttered or you want to or have a 00:45:28.530 --> 00:45:30.469 chat with somebody else who's experienced that 00:45:30.469 --> 00:45:33.170 let me know I'm always open to it always open 00:45:33.170 --> 00:45:36.710 to like sharing resources as well. Thank you 00:45:36.829 --> 00:45:39.849 Thank you for appearing on the show today. Thank 00:45:39.849 --> 00:45:42.110 you for sharing your stories and for talking 00:45:42.110 --> 00:45:44.869 about your book. I highly recommend the book 00:45:44.869 --> 00:45:47.429 So You Want To Be to anyone who's seeking to 00:45:47.429 --> 00:45:49.909 gain clarity, seeking to gain empowerment, wants 00:45:49.909 --> 00:45:52.929 to learn more about courage, achieving our peace, 00:45:53.030 --> 00:45:54.969 and of course, make the best of those rejections 00:45:54.969 --> 00:45:59.010 that may come in the future. to order the book 00:45:59.010 --> 00:46:01.750 can also be found in the show notes. And to all 00:46:01.750 --> 00:46:03.690 the listeners out there, I do encourage you to 00:46:03.690 --> 00:46:06.309 reflect on the advice shared by Karen today and 00:46:06.309 --> 00:46:08.989 remember that rejection is what we make of it. 00:46:09.389 --> 00:46:12.750 Will you learn from it or will you let it sabotage 00:46:12.750 --> 00:46:14.889 you? So that's a question you can answer for 00:46:14.889 --> 00:46:17.710 yourself. Rejection is absolutely... everywhere 00:46:17.710 --> 00:46:20.949 and it can often be celebrated for the personal 00:46:20.949 --> 00:46:22.489 and professional growth it can help us bring. 00:46:22.590 --> 00:46:24.690 If you'd like to support the podcast, you can 00:46:24.690 --> 00:46:26.750 donate at Buy Me a Coffee. You can also follow 00:46:26.750 --> 00:46:30.469 the podcast on Instagram at the underscore Rejected 00:46:30.469 --> 00:46:32.929 Pre -Med underscore podcast for additional content. 00:46:33.050 --> 00:46:36.590 Finally, this has been Valeria Rusnak. I'm the 00:46:36.590 --> 00:46:38.909 host and producer of the Rejected Pre -Med podcast. 00:46:39.210 --> 00:46:41.789 I thank you so much for tuning in and I will 00:46:41.789 --> 00:46:42.769 see you next time.