1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,480 Hi everyone, this is Valeria Rusnak, the host of the Rejected Pre-Med podcast and this 2 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,860 is a new format for an episode. 3 00:00:09,860 --> 00:00:19,160 So what I say is surprising to me as it is to you because I'm doing a complete improvisation 4 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,440 of everything. 5 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:27,880 I decided to do this episode because I'm going through a rough time in my life. 6 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:29,040 Don't think the worst thing. 7 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,040 No one died. 8 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:37,240 I think like that has happened but there are some hardships that are going on and I usually 9 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:42,240 always when I feel pain or going through stuff, I put it into a script and then report it 10 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:43,560 later in an episode. 11 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:49,880 This time I decided to go very raw and go without script, improvise and see what comes 12 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:50,880 out of it. 13 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:54,440 I honestly don't know if I'm going to release this into an official episode but we'll see 14 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:55,440 what happens. 15 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,440 Yeah, so I'm going through some stuff. 16 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,920 It's been very heavy several weeks for me. 17 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:06,920 Lots of emotions, lots of stuff coming up but I feel like it's important to get it out 18 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:07,920 there. 19 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:13,480 My instincts, my intuition is telling me to do this, to try this out, see what happens. 20 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:17,800 What I was going to share today is basically reiterate in a way what I've been saying in 21 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:23,720 my social media posts and my other episodes but this is just a different format and I'm 22 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:31,920 going through tough stuff right now in this moment and it's a way for me to express my 23 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,480 emotions. 24 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:39,560 This is my way of self expression with y'all and this is a way for me to spread a message 25 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:46,760 that it's okay to be open with all the emotions you're experiencing and the anger or the sadness 26 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,120 that comes along with whatever you're experiencing. 27 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,120 It's all okay. 28 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:56,040 And yeah, as hard as it is to tell yourself that in the moment, it's true. 29 00:01:56,040 --> 00:02:03,200 If we all experience emotions like anger and sadness and frustration to a different extent 30 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:09,080 of course but we should not deny those aspects of ourselves and we should not judge ourselves 31 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,160 for feeling that. 32 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,440 You feel the way you feel and that's valid. 33 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:19,680 You should not disregard that and you should not feel shame for it either. 34 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:25,200 Just as good experiences make up our lives, bad experiences make up our lives too. 35 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,920 We're not very quick to share those with the people. 36 00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:33,000 We're not very quick to post on social media the bad stuff that happens to us or stuff 37 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:40,200 that may be perceived as bad like a rejection, like a job loss or a relationship loss. 38 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:45,400 Those are tough things that we go through but you know as hard as it is to accept and 39 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:50,760 I'm still working on that especially right now realizing and reassuring myself that 40 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:56,480 just as good experiences make up our lives, bad experiences make up our lives as well 41 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:57,720 and they make us who we are. 42 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:01,120 They frame us into the people we are meant to be. 43 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:07,320 Behind every successful relationship or behind every successful career story, there is a 44 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:13,800 rejection story where some failed relationships that come with that too and it's very important 45 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:20,880 to acknowledge that because none of us are saints with all perfect experiences and all 46 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:26,520 perfect emotions, whatever you think of perfect emotions to be and it's a big part of being 47 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:34,040 resilient and overcoming rejection and I really believe that overcoming rejection and being 48 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:41,000 resilient big part of that is when crap is just happening to you, sucks, it feels very 49 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:46,880 heavy, don't suppress it, don't completely disregard it, don't pretend like it's not 50 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:54,920 happening, it's there and it happened and eventually you'll be able to process those 51 00:03:54,920 --> 00:04:01,040 emotions and think about what your next steps are going to be to take to help you manage 52 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,080 whatever is happening. 53 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:08,040 So bad experiences make up our lives just as a good experience and same with what we 54 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:13,520 perceive to be bad qualities in ourselves, what we perceive to be flaws, none of us are 55 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,600 saints, none of us are perfectly good. 56 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,880 We all have stuff we need to work on. 57 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:24,680 We all do and in the middle of that just have self compassion and be kind and gentle to 58 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:31,040 yourself and I've had to really, really repeat and reiterate that to myself as hard as it 59 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:37,320 is as much as my core almost refuses to believe that because it's going through so much pain 60 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:43,840 I have to tell myself that it's going to be okay, be kind and gentle to yourself, don't 61 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:51,600 feel like you're obligated to feel a certain thing or do a certain thing or be productive. 62 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:57,320 It's good to have goals but also keep in mind that you need to give yourself time to grieve, 63 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:03,520 time to just be, just exist and acknowledge whatever is happening to you is actually happening 64 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:08,840 and take actions from there and lean into your support systems and your relationships. 65 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:13,880 One of the things I'm going through is I have some conflicts with certain people in my life. 66 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:21,440 It's really hard to have compassion for myself throughout that because as much as I try to 67 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:27,400 be like, you know, a good person and I realize I have some flaws as well, it's really hard 68 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:33,760 not to feel ashamed and judged but you just got to trust yourself, trust your intuition 69 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:41,080 and set your boundaries no matter how difficult it may sometimes be, you got to choose yourself 70 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:46,440 and at the same time I find that the more compassion I get for myself as I go through 71 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:52,320 setbacks, the more resilient I become, the more I feel like I can handle whatever situation 72 00:05:52,320 --> 00:06:00,120 is going on, whether it's rejection, rejection in relationships, rejection in jobs and rejection 73 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:04,440 in other aspects, social rejection, whatever it is, the more you feel like you have your 74 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:11,880 own back, the more you are to overcome and handle whatever comes at you and as much as 75 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:17,040 it is important to have compassion for yourself and the more compassion you have for yourself, 76 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:21,280 the more likely you are to have compassion and be understanding of what others are going 77 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:27,160 through as well and have forgiveness for yourself first of all and forgiveness for others are 78 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:32,960 going through because sometimes to let go to overcome rejection to become resilient 79 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:42,160 means to forgive, forgive yourself, forgive others, others who may have rejected you, 80 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:46,320 others who have not treated you the way you feel you deserve to be treated. 81 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:51,960 So find that forgiveness in yourself and forgive others, not for them, not for them, forgive 82 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:57,520 others so you can feel better about it and you can move on so you don't hold that grudge 83 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,240 because it will hold you back again. 84 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:04,840 It's mostly do it for yourself, forgive others for yourself and when you show forgiveness 85 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:10,040 and compassion for yourself and for others, you're more likely to find people in your 86 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:16,000 circle that also are compassionate or forgiving and are more likely to accept you for who 87 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:21,320 you are and having those people in your life is a big part of having resilience is a big 88 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:26,240 part of overcoming future setbacks because those are the people you want to have in your 89 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:27,240 life. 90 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:32,160 The ones who see you for who you are, the ones who accept your good, your bad, who are 91 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:36,680 with you for your good days and your bad days and those people are compassionate, truly 92 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:42,160 compassionate and those people are forgiving and you attract that and you help build that 93 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:46,560 circle of people around you when you are yourself like that. 94 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:52,480 So it's a win-win really and it helps contribute to your social health so you build relationships 95 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:57,800 that way and that later on contributes to your resilience and your ability to overcome 96 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:04,360 future difficulties and your ability to just have a very good mental health and live overall 97 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,800 happy and peaceful life surrounded by people who you trust and they trust you in return 98 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:14,520 because it's a give and take, a give and take that forgiveness, give and take that compassion 99 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,800 between you guys. 100 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:21,000 So that's important for resilience and that's important for overcoming rejection and I want 101 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:25,240 to reiterate that again that none of us are saints. 102 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:30,120 We all have bad, well something we perceive to be bad qualities or others may perceive 103 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,520 to be bad qualities. 104 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:37,400 We all have flaws and we all have our good side and we all have our good days and bad 105 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,400 days. 106 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,480 Don't disregard those experiences. 107 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:46,120 Don't disregard those emotions which you're too sometimes too uncomfortable to deal with 108 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,120 like sadness or anger or frustration. 109 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:53,640 They may lead you to answers that you've been looking for but you were maybe too scared 110 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,280 to admit to yourself. 111 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:58,120 Your emotions most of the time, they're just as valuable. 112 00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,120 That's a fact. 113 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,400 They're just as valuable as your logic, as your critical thinking, as your ability to 114 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:07,840 plan for the future because they guide you like anger may guide you to advocate for yourself. 115 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:12,400 I've been feeling a lot of anger lately, a lot of frustration lately and my emotions 116 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,200 have led me to do this episode. 117 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,440 Again I don't know what's going to come out of it. 118 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:21,000 I don't even know if I'm going to publish it but at least I know even by talking about 119 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:26,040 this I'm helping myself express everything that I'm feeling and it's been a lot and 120 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:30,800 it's been a lot of, it would be silly for me to deny that but it makes me who I am. 121 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,760 My anger makes me who I am. 122 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:38,920 I can be angry sometimes and as much as I try to manage that and figure out what I should 123 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:44,160 make of that anger, what is trying to tell me, I don't want to deny it or feel bad about 124 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,160 it. 125 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,880 Of course I'll try not to lash out at others. 126 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:51,840 I'll take accountability for anything that may result from my anger and I'm not telling 127 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:56,760 you to go lash out at others and be angry at everyone around you but anger in itself 128 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,320 is trying to tell you something. 129 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:03,720 It's a valuable emotion and when we are more in tune with our emotions that helps us 130 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:08,320 become more resilient and stronger and helps us build better relationships with people 131 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:12,680 because we're more clear with ourselves about what we're experiencing and in return we're 132 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:20,280 more clear with others about what we're experiencing and that helps set a more clear connection 133 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:24,640 there and because others are more likely to understand what you're going through and 134 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,960 be there for you in a more productive way. 135 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:32,320 So don't deny your bad experiences, your good experiences, bad experiences that are just 136 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,440 as valuable as your good experiences. 137 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,920 I've cried yesterday a lot. 138 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:44,360 I've cried the day before that and I might cry today and you might be feeling uncomfortable 139 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:49,440 right now as I'm saying this but you know I truly see value in saying that because 140 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:54,680 like I said I usually I feel bad, I feel bad, I go through things, I put in my script and 141 00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:59,120 I talk about it later like several weeks later in my podcast episodes when I've processed 142 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:04,160 it but there is value in you hearing me talk about this as I'm going through it presently, 143 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,760 as I'm going through it right now and we all go through this. 144 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:12,440 I'm just very open about it and being very vulnerable about it and I'm experimenting 145 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:19,600 what it's like and experimenting with what would happen if I make this into an actual 146 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:20,960 podcast episode. 147 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:26,040 So I'm just being very open about it but we're all in this together. 148 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:29,960 We all go through stuff and it's okay that you are going through stuff. 149 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:33,480 It doesn't necessarily mean something's wrong with you. 150 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:40,040 No, it actually just means you're human and it's okay if you're experiencing a myriad 151 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:46,360 of emotions, myriad of experiences just because you're going through the bad stuff doesn't 152 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:50,560 rule out all the good stuff that has happened to you, doesn't rule out all your good qualities, 153 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:54,200 all your accomplishments, doesn't rule out that at all. 154 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,160 That stuff happens and it's just there. 155 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,280 It's neutral. 156 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,320 Don't tie your worth to that. 157 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:06,520 And I always say in my talks and my podcast episodes in the world when you're facing rejection, 158 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:13,680 no matter what you do, no matter how successful you are or appear to be, you'll always get 159 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:19,560 some yeses and you always can get a lot of no's and you should not take it personally 160 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:23,640 because a lot of the stuff is also not dependent on you. 161 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,840 You can't control everything. 162 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,240 As much as it is tempting to say, oh, I got rejected. 163 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,600 I should have worked harder or it's my fault. 164 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,600 I'm not worthy. 165 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,720 I should just give up and quit right now and not try anything anymore. 166 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:40,640 No, sometimes it's just, there's so many factors at play here and I truly believe that there 167 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:46,560 are certain things that happen to us, bad things, and as much as they suck in the moment, 168 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:51,200 they lead us to where we are today and that may be better version of ourselves. 169 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:56,040 Those bad things may give us a lesson that will save us in the future. 170 00:12:56,040 --> 00:13:01,160 Try to make use of the bad experience too as much as you can to get something out of 171 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:05,520 it because out of every rejection, out of every experience, there is an opportunity. 172 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:12,600 For example, I feel like when I'm going through sucks and I feel I lost a bit of belief in 173 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:13,600 myself. 174 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,600 I lost some hope that I used to have. 175 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:20,480 I mean, I still have it, but that's that's how what I was feeling like, at least yesterday, 176 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:24,240 like the day before I made this recording. 177 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:29,920 But here I am and maybe I can make a podcast episode out of this. 178 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:35,160 Not that I'm trying to create content at the expense of being vulnerable and revealing 179 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:41,360 my emotions, but I hope that if I do publish this, it does provide value to people. 180 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:45,440 Seeing an average person like me who is sharing what they're going through, who is sharing 181 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:49,160 that they are going through tough times, it may be that might help you feel better because 182 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,160 you're not alone. 183 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:55,400 Maybe I don't know you personally, but I can feel a bit closer to you, whoever you are. 184 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,920 So I think I'm going to end here. 185 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:02,220 You take care and we're all in this together. 186 00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:03,960 Life can suck sometimes. 187 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:04,960 It does. 188 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,720 For me, it kind of sucks right now, or at least it feels like it. 189 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,120 There's many things I have to be grateful for. 190 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:14,480 And that's one of the things I'm also using when I feel down. 191 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,840 I do remind myself of the things I have and the things I'm grateful for. 192 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:21,400 So we're all in this together and we're going to be okay. 193 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,800 And we all go through difficult things. 194 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,000 I wish you all the best. 195 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,960 Stay strong, stay resilient, and be yourself and let those emotions through no matter what 196 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,000 they are. 197 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:38,080 This was Voliary Rusnak, the host of the Rejective Pre-Med podcast. 198 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,200 And I thank you for listening. 199 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:50,920 Take care, guys.