Hi everyone, this is Valeria Rusnak, the host of the Rejected Pre-Med podcast and this
is a new format for an episode.
So what I say is surprising to me as it is to you because I'm doing a complete improvisation
of everything.
I decided to do this episode because I'm going through a rough time in my life.
Don't think the worst thing.
No one died.
I think like that has happened but there are some hardships that are going on and I usually
always when I feel pain or going through stuff, I put it into a script and then report it
later in an episode.
This time I decided to go very raw and go without script, improvise and see what comes
out of it.
I honestly don't know if I'm going to release this into an official episode but we'll see
what happens.
Yeah, so I'm going through some stuff.
It's been very heavy several weeks for me.
Lots of emotions, lots of stuff coming up but I feel like it's important to get it out
there.
My instincts, my intuition is telling me to do this, to try this out, see what happens.
What I was going to share today is basically reiterate in a way what I've been saying in
my social media posts and my other episodes but this is just a different format and I'm
going through tough stuff right now in this moment and it's a way for me to express my
emotions.
This is my way of self expression with y'all and this is a way for me to spread a message
that it's okay to be open with all the emotions you're experiencing and the anger or the sadness
that comes along with whatever you're experiencing.
It's all okay.
And yeah, as hard as it is to tell yourself that in the moment, it's true.
If we all experience emotions like anger and sadness and frustration to a different extent
of course but we should not deny those aspects of ourselves and we should not judge ourselves
for feeling that.
You feel the way you feel and that's valid.
You should not disregard that and you should not feel shame for it either.
Just as good experiences make up our lives, bad experiences make up our lives too.
We're not very quick to share those with the people.
We're not very quick to post on social media the bad stuff that happens to us or stuff
that may be perceived as bad like a rejection, like a job loss or a relationship loss.
Those are tough things that we go through but you know as hard as it is to accept and
I'm still working on that especially right now realizing and reassuring myself that
just as good experiences make up our lives, bad experiences make up our lives as well
and they make us who we are.
They frame us into the people we are meant to be.
Behind every successful relationship or behind every successful career story, there is a
rejection story where some failed relationships that come with that too and it's very important
to acknowledge that because none of us are saints with all perfect experiences and all
perfect emotions, whatever you think of perfect emotions to be and it's a big part of being
resilient and overcoming rejection and I really believe that overcoming rejection and being
resilient big part of that is when crap is just happening to you, sucks, it feels very
heavy, don't suppress it, don't completely disregard it, don't pretend like it's not
happening, it's there and it happened and eventually you'll be able to process those
emotions and think about what your next steps are going to be to take to help you manage
whatever is happening.
So bad experiences make up our lives just as a good experience and same with what we
perceive to be bad qualities in ourselves, what we perceive to be flaws, none of us are
saints, none of us are perfectly good.
We all have stuff we need to work on.
We all do and in the middle of that just have self compassion and be kind and gentle to
yourself and I've had to really, really repeat and reiterate that to myself as hard as it
is as much as my core almost refuses to believe that because it's going through so much pain
I have to tell myself that it's going to be okay, be kind and gentle to yourself, don't
feel like you're obligated to feel a certain thing or do a certain thing or be productive.
It's good to have goals but also keep in mind that you need to give yourself time to grieve,
time to just be, just exist and acknowledge whatever is happening to you is actually happening
and take actions from there and lean into your support systems and your relationships.
One of the things I'm going through is I have some conflicts with certain people in my life.
It's really hard to have compassion for myself throughout that because as much as I try to
be like, you know, a good person and I realize I have some flaws as well, it's really hard
not to feel ashamed and judged but you just got to trust yourself, trust your intuition
and set your boundaries no matter how difficult it may sometimes be, you got to choose yourself
and at the same time I find that the more compassion I get for myself as I go through
setbacks, the more resilient I become, the more I feel like I can handle whatever situation
is going on, whether it's rejection, rejection in relationships, rejection in jobs and rejection
in other aspects, social rejection, whatever it is, the more you feel like you have your
own back, the more you are to overcome and handle whatever comes at you and as much as
it is important to have compassion for yourself and the more compassion you have for yourself,
the more likely you are to have compassion and be understanding of what others are going
through as well and have forgiveness for yourself first of all and forgiveness for others are
going through because sometimes to let go to overcome rejection to become resilient
means to forgive, forgive yourself, forgive others, others who may have rejected you,
others who have not treated you the way you feel you deserve to be treated.
So find that forgiveness in yourself and forgive others, not for them, not for them, forgive
others so you can feel better about it and you can move on so you don't hold that grudge
because it will hold you back again.
It's mostly do it for yourself, forgive others for yourself and when you show forgiveness
and compassion for yourself and for others, you're more likely to find people in your
circle that also are compassionate or forgiving and are more likely to accept you for who
you are and having those people in your life is a big part of having resilience is a big
part of overcoming future setbacks because those are the people you want to have in your
life.
The ones who see you for who you are, the ones who accept your good, your bad, who are
with you for your good days and your bad days and those people are compassionate, truly
compassionate and those people are forgiving and you attract that and you help build that
circle of people around you when you are yourself like that.
So it's a win-win really and it helps contribute to your social health so you build relationships
that way and that later on contributes to your resilience and your ability to overcome
future difficulties and your ability to just have a very good mental health and live overall
happy and peaceful life surrounded by people who you trust and they trust you in return
because it's a give and take, a give and take that forgiveness, give and take that compassion
between you guys.
So that's important for resilience and that's important for overcoming rejection and I want
to reiterate that again that none of us are saints.
We all have bad, well something we perceive to be bad qualities or others may perceive
to be bad qualities.
We all have flaws and we all have our good side and we all have our good days and bad
days.
Don't disregard those experiences.
Don't disregard those emotions which you're too sometimes too uncomfortable to deal with
like sadness or anger or frustration.
They may lead you to answers that you've been looking for but you were maybe too scared
to admit to yourself.
Your emotions most of the time, they're just as valuable.
That's a fact.
They're just as valuable as your logic, as your critical thinking, as your ability to
plan for the future because they guide you like anger may guide you to advocate for yourself.
I've been feeling a lot of anger lately, a lot of frustration lately and my emotions
have led me to do this episode.
Again I don't know what's going to come out of it.
I don't even know if I'm going to publish it but at least I know even by talking about
this I'm helping myself express everything that I'm feeling and it's been a lot and
it's been a lot of, it would be silly for me to deny that but it makes me who I am.
My anger makes me who I am.
I can be angry sometimes and as much as I try to manage that and figure out what I should
make of that anger, what is trying to tell me, I don't want to deny it or feel bad about
it.
Of course I'll try not to lash out at others.
I'll take accountability for anything that may result from my anger and I'm not telling
you to go lash out at others and be angry at everyone around you but anger in itself
is trying to tell you something.
It's a valuable emotion and when we are more in tune with our emotions that helps us
become more resilient and stronger and helps us build better relationships with people
because we're more clear with ourselves about what we're experiencing and in return we're
more clear with others about what we're experiencing and that helps set a more clear connection
there and because others are more likely to understand what you're going through and
be there for you in a more productive way.
So don't deny your bad experiences, your good experiences, bad experiences that are just
as valuable as your good experiences.
I've cried yesterday a lot.
I've cried the day before that and I might cry today and you might be feeling uncomfortable
right now as I'm saying this but you know I truly see value in saying that because
like I said I usually I feel bad, I feel bad, I go through things, I put in my script and
I talk about it later like several weeks later in my podcast episodes when I've processed
it but there is value in you hearing me talk about this as I'm going through it presently,
as I'm going through it right now and we all go through this.
I'm just very open about it and being very vulnerable about it and I'm experimenting
what it's like and experimenting with what would happen if I make this into an actual
podcast episode.
So I'm just being very open about it but we're all in this together.
We all go through stuff and it's okay that you are going through stuff.
It doesn't necessarily mean something's wrong with you.
No, it actually just means you're human and it's okay if you're experiencing a myriad
of emotions, myriad of experiences just because you're going through the bad stuff doesn't
rule out all the good stuff that has happened to you, doesn't rule out all your good qualities,
all your accomplishments, doesn't rule out that at all.
That stuff happens and it's just there.
It's neutral.
Don't tie your worth to that.
And I always say in my talks and my podcast episodes in the world when you're facing rejection,
no matter what you do, no matter how successful you are or appear to be, you'll always get
some yeses and you always can get a lot of no's and you should not take it personally
because a lot of the stuff is also not dependent on you.
You can't control everything.
As much as it is tempting to say, oh, I got rejected.
I should have worked harder or it's my fault.
I'm not worthy.
I should just give up and quit right now and not try anything anymore.
No, sometimes it's just, there's so many factors at play here and I truly believe that there
are certain things that happen to us, bad things, and as much as they suck in the moment,
they lead us to where we are today and that may be better version of ourselves.
Those bad things may give us a lesson that will save us in the future.
Try to make use of the bad experience too as much as you can to get something out of
it because out of every rejection, out of every experience, there is an opportunity.
For example, I feel like when I'm going through sucks and I feel I lost a bit of belief in
myself.
I lost some hope that I used to have.
I mean, I still have it, but that's that's how what I was feeling like, at least yesterday,
like the day before I made this recording.
But here I am and maybe I can make a podcast episode out of this.
Not that I'm trying to create content at the expense of being vulnerable and revealing
my emotions, but I hope that if I do publish this, it does provide value to people.
Seeing an average person like me who is sharing what they're going through, who is sharing
that they are going through tough times, it may be that might help you feel better because
you're not alone.
Maybe I don't know you personally, but I can feel a bit closer to you, whoever you are.
So I think I'm going to end here.
You take care and we're all in this together.
Life can suck sometimes.
It does.
For me, it kind of sucks right now, or at least it feels like it.
There's many things I have to be grateful for.
And that's one of the things I'm also using when I feel down.
I do remind myself of the things I have and the things I'm grateful for.
So we're all in this together and we're going to be okay.
And we all go through difficult things.
I wish you all the best.
Stay strong, stay resilient, and be yourself and let those emotions through no matter what
they are.
This was Voliary Rusnak, the host of the Rejective Pre-Med podcast.
And I thank you for listening.
Take care, guys.