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Hello everyone, welcome to the second episode of the rejected pre-med podcast. This is a

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podcast for those who, like me, got rejected from medical school or any other professional school

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and are now trying to figure out where to go from here. Being the mid-civital with me,

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as we try to figure out what to do with our lives and how to stay mentally healthy

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and happy in the process. In the previous episode, I talked about my story and how it

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led me to starting this podcast. This episode is going to be something I call a resource episode.

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In my resource episodes, I'll be talking in depth about resources and pieces of knowledge

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I've accumulated to help me get over rejection from medical school. Specifically, this episode

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will focus on my insights from Gretchen Rubins, the Happiness Project book, and I'll also be

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referring to a few other articles concerning happiness. So, I chose to focus on happiness today

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because knowing how to achieve personal happiness will grant you with habits and discipline needed

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to overcome adversity and obstacles in your life, such as rejection per se. It can help you be in a

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mental state where you can think clearly about what your next steps should be. I also just want to

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show you that it is possible for a person to be happy while confronting life realistically and to

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be productive in the process. So, first and foremost, happiness begins with your own attitude and how

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you look at the world. We've all heard it before somewhere, right? But what does it mean? So,

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it is not what happens to you that determines how happy you are, but how you interpret what

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happens. So, for example, with me being rejected from medical school, I prefer to think of it as an

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opportunity to self-reflect on where I am in life and use the extra time I have for retreat and rest.

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I really believe that that will no doubt help me make a more informed decision about my future

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career path. Some other rejected students may seize the opportunity to travel or volunteer

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as a medical aid in the third world country, which is an experience that would not only make the

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student happy, but it could also make them a better doctor in the future. On the other hand,

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viewing this rejection as a means to get down in yourself for not being good enough might be

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counterproductive and you end up being miserable. So, yes, happiness really is about how you look

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at the world and your circumstances. I totally, fully agree with that. Additionally, happiness

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is about living in the moment, appreciating the smallest things and surrounding yourself with

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things and people that inspire you. And that is a quote I got from the Happiness Project book,

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and I agree with it. And there's a lot to unpack here in that sentence. So, let us just start with

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the first point. So, living in the moment. What does it mean to truly live in the moment?

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This does not mean trying your hardest not to think about MCAT or med school applications

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while seemingly being present at your friend's birthday party and trying not to look distracted.

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To truly live in the moment means to let go of your worries and to really feel your own presence,

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to stay in your body rather than get sucked into the content of your thoughts.

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And I speak from experience because I had to learn it the hard way.

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Living in the present means to truly appreciate who you are now as an individual with your current

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qualities and talents. It means to stop tying your self-worth to your ideal future self as

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already a doctor and making lots of money and start feeling the inherent worth that is within you

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right now, right this second. So, say to yourself, even though you're not yet a doctor, you're still

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a freaking great person nonetheless who's deserving of love and compassion. And remember that. And don't

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be so harsh on yourself. Don't be so harsh on yourself. I repeat this because we as pre-meds

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and especially pre-meds who've been rejected from medical school really struggle with that.

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We're too hard on ourselves. So, yes, staying in the moment, living in the moment, that is one of

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the keys to happiness. So, I'm saying all this stuff as if I already know how to really live in

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the moment and sometimes I do, but there are days where I try to enjoy a Netflix show and suddenly

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a thought pops into my head about my multiple unsuccessful MCAT attempts and you know my mood

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slightly goes down. And this is unavoidable, right? We all have these thoughts from time to time.

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The key here is to trump these negative thoughts with positive ones that come from living in the

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moment. It's from enjoying that chat with your significant other to petting your dog or cat, I

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don't know, sharing a meaningful conversation with a friend you haven't seen in a long time.

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When you fully engage in these beautiful moments that make up your life, your fears of failure

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and recent rejection would fade in the background more and more. And again, I speak from experience.

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I know what I'm talking about. I'm that person who always lives in the future and thinks of what's

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going to be ahead and tries to plan everything in advance. But if anything, my MCAT journey,

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my experience being rejected has stopped me that sometimes it's okay to let go and just

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let yourself relax and be in the moment. Okay. Oh yes, another good thing to mention. A good

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exercise for when you try to be in the present moment, but your thoughts just will not leave you

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alone is breathwork. A good exercise is breathwork. So basically what you do, you would, and everyone

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has a different way of doing breathwork exercises, but the way I do it is you inhale deeply,

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you hold for about four counts, then exhale and you hold for four counts and you do this

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and you do this until you feel more calm and this practice will allow you to focus on your breath

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and it would bring you back to the present while letting the other thoughts fade in the background.

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Now, another part to being happy is appreciating the smallest things. Now, this is a habit that

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takes time to develop. What I did to practice gratitude and I started this practice last year,

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I believe, is to say to yourself three things you're grateful for before you go to bed,

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whether big or small. It can be as small as saying, I'm grateful for the walk I took today at the

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park. I felt so calm and at peace and as you say these things you're grateful for, try to really

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feel grateful for them too, right? Because saying you're grateful without trying to actually feel

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grateful for the thing you're saying you're grateful for is a waste of time. For example,

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if I go to bed and I think, oh, I know I have this task ahead of me, I have to say these three

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things I'm grateful for, otherwise I will not be positive. So, and I tell myself, okay, I guess

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I'm grateful for the dish I had today for dinner. But if I don't really feel it, then it doesn't

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really count as something I'm grateful for. So make sure you're really feeling grateful

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for whatever it is you're saying you're grateful for. I hope that makes sense. Oh, God. Okay. But,

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you know, and it may seem silly saying to yourself these things you're grateful for,

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but eventually believe me, these kinds of thoughts that invite positivity into your life will become

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a part of your brain's neural networks. You might have learned that the brain is engaged in neuro

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plasticity in one of your neuro classes. If you've had one, or your bio class, I don't know,

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doesn't matter. This means the brain can be rewired to function in a way that can make you

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more happy and practicing gratitude is a very effective way to do so. Now, I feel like I've

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talked to maturity. So I really hope some of this stuff comes of value to you. And I think it does,

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if you if you apply the knowledge I share with you here, right. The third component to being happy

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is surrounding yourself with things and people that inspire you. Now, you may be wondering,

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okay, Valeria, that sounds all nice. But how do I know what or who will inspire me? And if you're

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like me, you may have partially lost view of the things that have inspired you and brought you joy

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when you focus so much of your life on the pre-med path. But if I found a way to get inspired,

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you can too with this very simple practice. I call it the weekly artist state. Now, before you skip

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over this part telling yourself, I'm not an artist. So this doesn't apply to me. Just just wait before

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I get to the point. Now, I do not consider myself an artist really, because it seems like such a

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big loaded word. But I still did these artist states and they truly, truly helped me. Weekly

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artist state is about giving yourself time once a week, maybe two hours or so to do something

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creative or inspiring, which I speak from experience will as an outcome invite all kinds of joy into

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your life. Right. And I personally got the idea of doing these artist dates from the book called

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The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, which by the way, I will do a separate episode on because it had

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a great impact on my life. And even though the book is written for artists, I believe it is a gem

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of a book for anyone. Artist states are something anyone can do. You don't have to be an artist.

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I'll give you example of the artist dates I did in a second. But the purpose of these artists

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states is to gain a fresh perspective that you may not get in your everyday routine,

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which can help lead you to professional or personal success in unpredictable ways and also

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make you more happy. And according to research, novelty is stimulating us is the key element to

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happiness. And by doing new things, which is what the artist states are for, right, it does not have

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to be art in the traditional sense that you're doing for your artist states. You are more apt to

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feel happy than people who stick to more familiar activities. That said, for your artist states,

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you don't make yourself do something you dislike, maybe do something you have always wondered

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about or wanted to try, but never really had the time to or I don't know was too scared to fail at.

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The examples of my artist states include going to a dance class since I was at dancing,

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learning a song on a piano, going to a local museum art gallery, I think. And one of the other

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artists states I did was going to the library and picking out random bookstreet I otherwise would

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have never picked out, right? And they were so random. One of them was about gardening, which

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I don't ever engage in. The other one was about health and wellness. And yeah, I learned interesting

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things there too. And the other book was about podcasting. And it was I think was called podcasting

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for dummies, which is very interesting because I did not even think of having my own podcast then,

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right? I just picked out a random book. But look at me now recording an episode for my own podcast.

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I don't know, coincidence? I don't know, maybe, maybe, maybe not.

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One other thing to mention about artist states is it's better to do them alone. And I'll tell you

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why. But I promise you these things can still be fun if you are doing them alone. If not, well,

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there are still benefits to doing them with someone else, but it is most beneficial to do them alone.

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How many times did I say alone at this point? But anyways, artist states are meant to help you find

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your thoughts and hear your inner voice, not the thoughts plotted by your ego or your fears and

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insecurities, or even the voices of your friends and family. An artist state can help you become

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more confident knowing you tried something new by yourself and you actually liked it without

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having to have someone else by your side. So yes, artist states are very simple and fun confidence

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boosters. And they're especially helpful after rejection. Again, I speak from experience. So

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to reiterate, artist states do them and do them alone if possible. Why? Why help you gain a fresh

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perspective that can help you in unpredictable ways to they make you more happy as research shows.

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And for my experience, they give you confidence and who wouldn't want all those things I just

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listened, right? Yeah, we're soon coming near the end of the episode. And I just want to say thank

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you for listening to the end. It means a lot to me. And I just want to remind you that you are

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amazing wherever you are along the premed path does not define how smart or successful you are.

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You are already successful and deserving of praise for the person you are now outside of your

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accomplishments. So again, you are already successful. One and two deserving of praise for

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the person you are now outside of your accomplishments. I repeat this because as I said earlier in this

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episode, we as premeds don't to be very harsh on ourselves. And it helps to hear such words.

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And I really intend to be one of your supports throughout your journey.

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This episode, I talked about multiple ways to stay happy after rejection, which included the idea of

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living in the present, practicing gratitude, and finding things to inspire you, such as the artist

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dates. I would love to hear what you do to stay happy. So please DM me on Instagram or LinkedIn

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to share your insights. I really do love learning about the art of happiness because

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at the end of the day, that's what life is about, right? Staying happy, being happy.

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And remember, happiness is not something we should consider only when life is going well,

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or only when life is going bad. Happiness can be pursued in whatever condition life happens to offer.

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And I personally think that's beautiful. One thing I did not mention yet, which is pretty

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darn important for being happy, is leaning on people close to you for support when you're

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growing through a rough time. And that goes without saying that you do that with people you trust.

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Let yourself open up with these people about your inner struggles, worries, insecurities,

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because it will most likely help you process the pain you've internalized and move on from it.

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Personally, at first, leaning on people for support felt very unnatural and uncomfortable for me,

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because I had this false notion that it somehow made me more weak.

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But I eventually discovered that relying on people we trust for support and guidance actually gives

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us strength and perspective that we sometimes fail to find without consulting others. So remember

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that the next time you try to hide your pain and loss from others, because you might think you're

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being strong, but it actually eats away at you and makes you ultimately less happy.

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And just in general for maintaining happiness, spend quality time with people you love and cherish,

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which is what you need to be doing to develop those deep, meaningful connections in your life.

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As Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project book said, having strong social bonds is probably the most

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meaningful contributor to happiness. Okay, I'll stop preaching now and end this episode.

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I hope you had as much fun listening to this episode as I had recording it.

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This was Valerie Rusnak, the host of the Rejected Premer Podcast, and I thank you for listening.