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Hello everyone and welcome to the Rejected Pre-Met podcast.

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My name is Valeria Rusnak and I'm your host.

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Thank you for tuning in to the very first episode.

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This is truly very exciting for me.

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You on the other hand might be very confused thinking, what is this podcast about?

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Why am I listening to it?

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What am I listening to?

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So let me just start by first telling you my story.

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So like a lot of pre-meds, I knew I wanted to be a doctor ever since I was a kid.

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It became a central part of who I was.

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As an ambitious school student, I have done everything I thought would help me on my pre-med

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path.

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I was a star high school student.

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I took AP classes, volunteered at local organizations, tutored, was president of the student council

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and led a service club.

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In college, I pursued a bachelor degree in neuroscience, I did well in my classes, I

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volunteered at the hospital, I gained vast experience in research and I won awards and

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scholarships for my community service and academic achievements.

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I graduated with a great distinction and I even have a publication.

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So at this point in the story, you think, oh yay, well everything seems to be going so

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well for this girl.

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Why is she starting a podcast about being rejected from medical school?

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What got her rejected?

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I will tell you what.

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MCAT, that monster, monster of a test.

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I wrote it once during my undergrad.

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I did not do well.

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I did not even pass the 500 threshold.

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I thought I'll just rewrite it when I have more time to commit to studying.

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And after the summer of 2022, when I finished my lab student chip and I graduated from university,

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I told myself, okay, you have a whole year, a whole year to study for the MCAT.

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That is more than enough time to study for the MCAT and do well on it and then apply

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to medical school by fall 2023.

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Easy peasy.

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My goals were high.

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I aimed for a high, high MCAT for a 520.

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I thought that was easy enough to get when I have a whole year to study, right?

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Oh, how wrong I was.

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That year was probably more mentally exhausting than any of my school and college years.

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My anxiety was off the charts.

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No matter how hard I tried to study and do well on practice tests, write flashcards and

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study content or ingest the high yield stuff, I just could barely get over 500.

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The cars section was a hit or miss.

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And I do not exaggerate when I say I did thousands of practice questions.

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I listened to podcasts from various cars experts and watched many, many tutorials and nothing

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worked.

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Nothing worked.

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I mean, sometimes I got higher on the cars, but other times it was low.

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I just could not figure it out.

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Anyways, time came for my first attempt in July 15, 2023, and I was as anxious as ever.

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So much that as soon as I got to the testing center, I just wanted to go home.

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I pressured myself so much I could barely function.

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Somehow I sat through the whole thing and wrote it.

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I almost had a panic attack during cars.

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Cars against, stands for, I think, critical and analytical reading section.

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I went home that day knowing I did bad on the test.

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So what did I do?

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I went on to book a test two weeks out on July 29th.

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So two weeks away from that first test day.

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Every knowledgeable pre-med knows that it is a bad, bad idea to book another test before

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the scores are out.

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And I knew it too.

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But I did it anyway because the fear and anxiety got to me.

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So, I booked the test for July 29th.

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And I spent these two weeks just trying to let go of the anxiety and make myself feel

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calm.

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And I was actually feeling the progress, you know, and I knew I would feel much better

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writing the test that second time.

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So July 28th, the day before the second attempt, rewind to that.

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Everything was going just fine.

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I was having a rest day.

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I watched movies, I ate popcorn, I was having a blast.

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I felt really good about the upcoming test day.

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So and then comes the evening of July 28th.

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So that same, same day, right?

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I felt like I wanted to dance the Just Dance game, you know, the one that's on like PlayStation

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or Xbox where you repeat the dance moves after someone to a song of your choosing.

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I loved this game.

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I loved, loved, loved it ever since I was a child.

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And I thought, what better way to unwind before a test than to dance?

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I loved it.

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I was having the time of my life dancing to it.

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And I still remember this as clear as day.

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I'm dancing to a Britney Spears song.

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I'm grooving, you know, and I feel something go out of my knee.

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I fall in pain on the floor.

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No idea what just happened.

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My first thought was, oh no, my test is tomorrow.

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I don't want to go to a hospital.

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I can't miss that test.

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So what happened was it was my kneecap.

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I dislocated it.

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So a good chunk of the evening before that test, I was in the emergency room and honestly,

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honestly with you, I was just laughing because this whole situation seemed like a scene from

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a comedy TV show.

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I could not believe that this was happening to me.

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It just seemed so ridiculous.

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And right the evening before the test.

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It was just seemed so unreal.

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I ended up still going to write the test the next day when really the wise decision should

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have probably been to not show up to the test.

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At least that way, I do not have to risk getting a bad score and med schools do not see any

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of my absences.

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They just see the score.

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So I could have totally not went that day.

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Plus, I slept horribly that night, only three hours of sleep, I think I got because of knee

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pain and anxiety.

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So what happened was that I ended up getting below 500 on both of these attempts that summer,

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July 15, July 29, below 500 is below average.

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That's not an amazing score.

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Of course, I was really sad with the news and I was devastated.

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Somehow I still decided to proceed with my plan to apply to medical schools still because

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I knew I had great experiences and I thought, you know, maybe a med school will see that

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and they will see that I have great experiences and I would still be invited to an interview.

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By this point, you probably listening and feel really bad for me or are cringing at

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the fact that I even decided to tell this story.

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If I promise you there is a reason for me to do this and really do not feel bad for me.

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If anything, I am glad things happened the way they did because it led me to where I

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am today.

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For those wondering, my knee is fine.

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I went to physio and it almost doesn't hurt anymore.

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So go back to the story.

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Yes, I still decided to apply to med school hoping the admissions committees see the value

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in me and still invite me to an interview despite my multiple MCAT attempts all over

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which had a score below 500.

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I powered through even though the trauma of multiple MCAT attempts was still like dawning

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on me.

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I did my applications, submitted them, then came the time for CASPER.

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CASPER is an assessment of salt skills like problem solving, empathy, there was something

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else there and it's used by some medical schools to evaluate their candidates which without

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going into further detail, I did not really do that good on it.

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In fact, I scored first quartile.

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That is not a good score if you want to up your chances of getting into medical school.

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After studying for the CASPER as well, I was disappointed to get only first quartile but

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the whole MCAT journey just made me more resilient and I handled it I think quite well.

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Of course, as many of you would probably realize by now, I did not get an interview.

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I am a rejected pre-med.

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Was I surprised?

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No, not at all, but I really hoped I would get an interview and I even started prepping

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for it.

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I am proud of myself though for hoping and having faith but was I sad for being rejected?

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Yes, yes I was.

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But to be quite honest with you, I was also kind of happy and relieved.

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As I was going through this journey this past year, I realized I do not want my pre-med

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path to define who I am and what I am worth.

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As I began to recognize this fact, I realized that my rejection is kind of a blessing.

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All these years, I kept to a tight schedule and disciplined myself to maintain good grades

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and do what I thought admissions committees would approve of.

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I am not saying I wasn't happy.

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I am generally a happy and optimistic person.

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But after I got this rejection, I realized I wanted to prioritize doing things and developing

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a mindset that is directed at making me happy and for once not think about how it would

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look or reflect on my application.

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This is when I came to an idea to start this podcast.

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I am perfectly aware that there are capable, smart, talented students out there like you

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who deserve to be a doctor and have all it takes to become one.

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But they were rejected from medical school even though they are amazing people with a

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high MCAT, spectacular extracurriculars and grades.

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Some were rejected once, others were rejected three times, and some others seven times or

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more.

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And there are various reasons why people get rejected and really, I feel you, my heart

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goes out to all of you.

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But a very big reason is because there's not enough seats for everyone and you just were

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not lucky that particular cycle.

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Sadly, it is the way it is.

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This podcast is meant to be a safe space for you, for me.

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And in the coming episodes, I will provide you with resources and information I found

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beneficial as I moved on and quite honestly still try to move on from that rejection.

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I will interview people on here that will help both you and me to figure out whether

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we should stay on the doctor path or move on to something else, learn from the experiences

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of those who applied several times and got in or those who did not get in and found success

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somewhere else.

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I invite you to take part in this journey with me as we find our way through the tunnel

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and into the light.

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To clarify, I am not a representative of an academic or consulting firm and I'm not an

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academic advisor and it probably should not be one with my MCAT track record.

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I'm your peer and I know what it's like.

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I hope that by releasing my content out there, all those rejected from med schools or just

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other professional schools do not feel so alone because you are not.

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I want to support you in your journey.

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I strongly believe that this podcast has something to offer for each and every one of you.

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We're almost near the end of this episode here and I want to thank you for listening

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in.

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You are amazing and I hope you know that.

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I encourage you to share this episode and this podcast with other pre-meds you know

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as I believe we can form a great community here.

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My social media can be found on Instagram and LinkedIn.

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Please see the links in the description.

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Please follow me.

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Reach out to me if you want to say hi or if you want to just rant about this growing

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process of applying to medical schools or professional schools in general.

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If you'd like to share with me a favorite part of this episode or have an idea what

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I could cover in the podcast, please DM me as I would love to hear your ideas.

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This was Valeria Rusnak, the host of the rejected pre-med podcast and I thank you

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for listening.