Hello everyone and welcome to the Rejected Pre-Met podcast.
My name is Valeria Rusnak and I'm your host.
Thank you for tuning in to the very first episode.
This is truly very exciting for me.
You on the other hand might be very confused thinking, what is this podcast about?
Why am I listening to it?
What am I listening to?
So let me just start by first telling you my story.
So like a lot of pre-meds, I knew I wanted to be a doctor ever since I was a kid.
It became a central part of who I was.
As an ambitious school student, I have done everything I thought would help me on my pre-med
path.
I was a star high school student.
I took AP classes, volunteered at local organizations, tutored, was president of the student council
and led a service club.
In college, I pursued a bachelor degree in neuroscience, I did well in my classes, I
volunteered at the hospital, I gained vast experience in research and I won awards and
scholarships for my community service and academic achievements.
I graduated with a great distinction and I even have a publication.
So at this point in the story, you think, oh yay, well everything seems to be going so
well for this girl.
Why is she starting a podcast about being rejected from medical school?
What got her rejected?
I will tell you what.
MCAT, that monster, monster of a test.
I wrote it once during my undergrad.
I did not do well.
I did not even pass the 500 threshold.
I thought I'll just rewrite it when I have more time to commit to studying.
And after the summer of 2022, when I finished my lab student chip and I graduated from university,
I told myself, okay, you have a whole year, a whole year to study for the MCAT.
That is more than enough time to study for the MCAT and do well on it and then apply
to medical school by fall 2023.
Easy peasy.
My goals were high.
I aimed for a high, high MCAT for a 520.
I thought that was easy enough to get when I have a whole year to study, right?
Oh, how wrong I was.
That year was probably more mentally exhausting than any of my school and college years.
My anxiety was off the charts.
No matter how hard I tried to study and do well on practice tests, write flashcards and
study content or ingest the high yield stuff, I just could barely get over 500.
The cars section was a hit or miss.
And I do not exaggerate when I say I did thousands of practice questions.
I listened to podcasts from various cars experts and watched many, many tutorials and nothing
worked.
Nothing worked.
I mean, sometimes I got higher on the cars, but other times it was low.
I just could not figure it out.
Anyways, time came for my first attempt in July 15, 2023, and I was as anxious as ever.
So much that as soon as I got to the testing center, I just wanted to go home.
I pressured myself so much I could barely function.
Somehow I sat through the whole thing and wrote it.
I almost had a panic attack during cars.
Cars against, stands for, I think, critical and analytical reading section.
I went home that day knowing I did bad on the test.
So what did I do?
I went on to book a test two weeks out on July 29th.
So two weeks away from that first test day.
Every knowledgeable pre-med knows that it is a bad, bad idea to book another test before
the scores are out.
And I knew it too.
But I did it anyway because the fear and anxiety got to me.
So, I booked the test for July 29th.
And I spent these two weeks just trying to let go of the anxiety and make myself feel
calm.
And I was actually feeling the progress, you know, and I knew I would feel much better
writing the test that second time.
So July 28th, the day before the second attempt, rewind to that.
Everything was going just fine.
I was having a rest day.
I watched movies, I ate popcorn, I was having a blast.
I felt really good about the upcoming test day.
So and then comes the evening of July 28th.
So that same, same day, right?
I felt like I wanted to dance the Just Dance game, you know, the one that's on like PlayStation
or Xbox where you repeat the dance moves after someone to a song of your choosing.
I loved this game.
I loved, loved, loved it ever since I was a child.
And I thought, what better way to unwind before a test than to dance?
I loved it.
I was having the time of my life dancing to it.
And I still remember this as clear as day.
I'm dancing to a Britney Spears song.
I'm grooving, you know, and I feel something go out of my knee.
I fall in pain on the floor.
No idea what just happened.
My first thought was, oh no, my test is tomorrow.
I don't want to go to a hospital.
I can't miss that test.
So what happened was it was my kneecap.
I dislocated it.
So a good chunk of the evening before that test, I was in the emergency room and honestly,
honestly with you, I was just laughing because this whole situation seemed like a scene from
a comedy TV show.
I could not believe that this was happening to me.
It just seemed so ridiculous.
And right the evening before the test.
It was just seemed so unreal.
I ended up still going to write the test the next day when really the wise decision should
have probably been to not show up to the test.
At least that way, I do not have to risk getting a bad score and med schools do not see any
of my absences.
They just see the score.
So I could have totally not went that day.
Plus, I slept horribly that night, only three hours of sleep, I think I got because of knee
pain and anxiety.
So what happened was that I ended up getting below 500 on both of these attempts that summer,
July 15, July 29, below 500 is below average.
That's not an amazing score.
Of course, I was really sad with the news and I was devastated.
Somehow I still decided to proceed with my plan to apply to medical schools still because
I knew I had great experiences and I thought, you know, maybe a med school will see that
and they will see that I have great experiences and I would still be invited to an interview.
By this point, you probably listening and feel really bad for me or are cringing at
the fact that I even decided to tell this story.
If I promise you there is a reason for me to do this and really do not feel bad for me.
If anything, I am glad things happened the way they did because it led me to where I
am today.
For those wondering, my knee is fine.
I went to physio and it almost doesn't hurt anymore.
So go back to the story.
Yes, I still decided to apply to med school hoping the admissions committees see the value
in me and still invite me to an interview despite my multiple MCAT attempts all over
which had a score below 500.
I powered through even though the trauma of multiple MCAT attempts was still like dawning
on me.
I did my applications, submitted them, then came the time for CASPER.
CASPER is an assessment of salt skills like problem solving, empathy, there was something
else there and it's used by some medical schools to evaluate their candidates which without
going into further detail, I did not really do that good on it.
In fact, I scored first quartile.
That is not a good score if you want to up your chances of getting into medical school.
After studying for the CASPER as well, I was disappointed to get only first quartile but
the whole MCAT journey just made me more resilient and I handled it I think quite well.
Of course, as many of you would probably realize by now, I did not get an interview.
I am a rejected pre-med.
Was I surprised?
No, not at all, but I really hoped I would get an interview and I even started prepping
for it.
I am proud of myself though for hoping and having faith but was I sad for being rejected?
Yes, yes I was.
But to be quite honest with you, I was also kind of happy and relieved.
As I was going through this journey this past year, I realized I do not want my pre-med
path to define who I am and what I am worth.
As I began to recognize this fact, I realized that my rejection is kind of a blessing.
All these years, I kept to a tight schedule and disciplined myself to maintain good grades
and do what I thought admissions committees would approve of.
I am not saying I wasn't happy.
I am generally a happy and optimistic person.
But after I got this rejection, I realized I wanted to prioritize doing things and developing
a mindset that is directed at making me happy and for once not think about how it would
look or reflect on my application.
This is when I came to an idea to start this podcast.
I am perfectly aware that there are capable, smart, talented students out there like you
who deserve to be a doctor and have all it takes to become one.
But they were rejected from medical school even though they are amazing people with a
high MCAT, spectacular extracurriculars and grades.
Some were rejected once, others were rejected three times, and some others seven times or
more.
And there are various reasons why people get rejected and really, I feel you, my heart
goes out to all of you.
But a very big reason is because there's not enough seats for everyone and you just were
not lucky that particular cycle.
Sadly, it is the way it is.
This podcast is meant to be a safe space for you, for me.
And in the coming episodes, I will provide you with resources and information I found
beneficial as I moved on and quite honestly still try to move on from that rejection.
I will interview people on here that will help both you and me to figure out whether
we should stay on the doctor path or move on to something else, learn from the experiences
of those who applied several times and got in or those who did not get in and found success
somewhere else.
I invite you to take part in this journey with me as we find our way through the tunnel
and into the light.
To clarify, I am not a representative of an academic or consulting firm and I'm not an
academic advisor and it probably should not be one with my MCAT track record.
I'm your peer and I know what it's like.
I hope that by releasing my content out there, all those rejected from med schools or just
other professional schools do not feel so alone because you are not.
I want to support you in your journey.
I strongly believe that this podcast has something to offer for each and every one of you.
We're almost near the end of this episode here and I want to thank you for listening
in.
You are amazing and I hope you know that.
I encourage you to share this episode and this podcast with other pre-meds you know
as I believe we can form a great community here.
My social media can be found on Instagram and LinkedIn.
Please see the links in the description.
Please follow me.
Reach out to me if you want to say hi or if you want to just rant about this growing
process of applying to medical schools or professional schools in general.
If you'd like to share with me a favorite part of this episode or have an idea what
I could cover in the podcast, please DM me as I would love to hear your ideas.
This was Valeria Rusnak, the host of the rejected pre-med podcast and I thank you
for listening.