WEBVTT 00:00:18.689 --> 00:00:20.690 Hi there, and welcome to Notes from the Stage, 00:00:20.829 --> 00:00:22.969 a show from the musicians of the Calgary Philharmonic. 00:00:23.289 --> 00:00:24.829 We're the people playing our hearts out every 00:00:24.829 --> 00:00:27.789 week of the orchestra season. I'm Adam Zinatelli. 00:00:27.890 --> 00:00:30.050 Usually I play first trumpet in the Calgary Philharmonic, 00:00:30.329 --> 00:00:32.270 but today I'm your host, and I'm here with Chang 00:00:32.270 --> 00:00:35.130 'e Choi, brand new section first violinist in 00:00:35.130 --> 00:00:37.049 the Calgary Philharmonic. Hello Chang 'e, how 00:00:37.049 --> 00:00:40.929 are you? Hi! Welcome to Calgary! Thank you for 00:00:40.929 --> 00:00:44.090 having me. I don't really get to speak too much, 00:00:44.570 --> 00:00:47.149 so this is a great opportunity for me. Oh, come 00:00:47.149 --> 00:00:49.969 on now. We've chatted enough backstage that I 00:00:49.969 --> 00:00:52.810 know that you're a delightful conversationalist. 00:00:53.409 --> 00:00:57.049 You're very generous. Thank you. No, but it's 00:00:57.049 --> 00:00:59.609 great to have you. And you know, when I was sort 00:00:59.609 --> 00:01:01.570 of plotting out this first year of this show, 00:01:01.649 --> 00:01:04.129 I was thinking I should better talk to all the 00:01:04.129 --> 00:01:06.730 new people in the orchestra. And I did that. 00:01:06.790 --> 00:01:09.689 But even after I made that plan. You showed up. 00:01:09.930 --> 00:01:14.590 Yeah, I just showed up. I got the job. So you 00:01:14.590 --> 00:01:17.329 won your audition here after this season had 00:01:17.329 --> 00:01:20.010 started. It was in October? September. It was 00:01:20.010 --> 00:01:21.390 in September, right near the beginning of the 00:01:21.390 --> 00:01:25.250 season. OK. And then I had to plan a little bit 00:01:25.250 --> 00:01:29.010 like my moving and because I wanted to be closer 00:01:29.010 --> 00:01:32.709 to the hall. So it took about, I guess, a month 00:01:32.709 --> 00:01:36.790 for me from the time when I won the job and to 00:01:36.790 --> 00:01:40.519 start. the first concert yeah yeah i also started 00:01:40.519 --> 00:01:44.120 mid season i won my audition in november and 00:01:44.120 --> 00:01:46.599 then i had a trial in january and february of 00:01:46.599 --> 00:01:48.379 the following year and then i started properly 00:01:48.379 --> 00:01:51.579 around march so we partial partial first year 00:01:51.579 --> 00:01:53.640 people it's nice you know even though even though 00:01:53.640 --> 00:01:55.799 your first season is going to be sort of pretty 00:01:55.799 --> 00:01:59.079 close to a full length thing i know for me having 00:01:59.079 --> 00:02:02.420 that partial season to kind of figure things 00:02:02.420 --> 00:02:05.719 out before you get that whole cycle of fatigue 00:02:05.719 --> 00:02:08.240 and stress stacking up. I didn't even think about 00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:10.400 that. Yeah, no, that was really useful for me. 00:02:10.460 --> 00:02:13.219 And I think you've got a slight advantage in 00:02:13.219 --> 00:02:15.860 your first season, maybe by starting a little 00:02:15.860 --> 00:02:19.400 bit after the beginning. So it just doesn't stack 00:02:19.400 --> 00:02:22.039 up quite so much because let me tell you, it 00:02:22.039 --> 00:02:25.000 can really stack up. Oh, oh, my goodness. So 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:27.960 where were you before you came to Calgary? I 00:02:27.960 --> 00:02:31.550 was in Toronto. I was studying and working at 00:02:31.550 --> 00:02:35.210 the same time. So I studied in Glenn Gould School. 00:02:35.389 --> 00:02:37.669 I also went to Glenn Gould School. You did? I 00:02:37.669 --> 00:02:41.150 did my undergrad there. What? I did my artist 00:02:41.150 --> 00:02:45.729 diploma there. So that was for two years. And 00:02:45.729 --> 00:02:50.629 in my second year of my studies, I joined Symphonia 00:02:50.629 --> 00:02:55.050 Toronto, which is a chamber orchestra. So yeah, 00:02:55.189 --> 00:02:58.270 that was my experience before joining Calgary 00:02:58.270 --> 00:03:00.699 Philharmonic. Okay, so an artist diploma at Glenn 00:03:00.699 --> 00:03:03.680 Gold, that's like a master's level kind of credential. 00:03:04.400 --> 00:03:07.439 What was your path getting to there? Maybe work 00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:09.740 backwards for me. Where were you before Glenn 00:03:09.740 --> 00:03:13.580 Gold? So I was at Glenn Gold and right before 00:03:13.580 --> 00:03:16.360 that I was at Juilliard doing my master's, so 00:03:16.360 --> 00:03:20.180 that's also two years, and then I was in UBC 00:03:20.180 --> 00:03:25.900 in Vancouver. for my undergrad. To speak a little 00:03:25.900 --> 00:03:31.219 bit about my education, before UBC, I was in 00:03:31.219 --> 00:03:35.800 Korea. I was in Sona Arts Middle and High School, 00:03:36.460 --> 00:03:40.099 which is a private school for actually dancers. 00:03:40.430 --> 00:03:44.349 and painters and musicians. In middle school, 00:03:44.789 --> 00:03:48.569 our classrooms are actually filled with all different 00:03:48.569 --> 00:03:52.469 majors. But in high school, you are divided into 00:03:52.469 --> 00:03:57.669 dancers only, musicians only classroom. That 00:03:57.669 --> 00:04:00.110 sort of interdisciplinary cross -pollination 00:04:00.110 --> 00:04:02.689 is really interesting, right? Because I know 00:04:02.689 --> 00:04:05.509 like dance is a big blind spot for me. I know 00:04:05.509 --> 00:04:08.509 that I'm missing out by not having developed. 00:04:08.800 --> 00:04:10.840 a real appreciation of dance. That's something 00:04:10.840 --> 00:04:13.680 that I know. That's a me problem, not a dance 00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:16.399 problem. And you've probably got a head start 00:04:16.399 --> 00:04:18.560 on those other disciplines just by being around 00:04:18.560 --> 00:04:20.920 people who are living that life. Right, right. 00:04:21.100 --> 00:04:23.459 I actually wanted to be a ballerina when I was 00:04:23.459 --> 00:04:28.720 four and my dad shut down the dream of mine because 00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:32.120 I think he was worried that I will starve the 00:04:32.120 --> 00:04:36.620 whole career. I don't No, if that's true, but 00:04:36.620 --> 00:04:40.339 the only thing I can assume is from talking to 00:04:40.339 --> 00:04:43.600 my ballerina and ballerina friends, but they 00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:46.360 seem to be eating okay. But only during those 00:04:46.360 --> 00:04:50.399 like competition or actual season for performances, 00:04:50.660 --> 00:04:53.319 then they have to cut down the calories. But 00:04:53.319 --> 00:04:56.240 yeah, it's like athletes, right? Cycling is my 00:04:56.240 --> 00:04:59.660 sport, right? The guys who are really shooting 00:04:59.660 --> 00:05:02.019 to do well at the Tour de France, right? Like 00:05:02.019 --> 00:05:05.120 their prep is very specific to that. That kind 00:05:05.120 --> 00:05:10.000 of hyperdiscipline and really specialized body 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:12.540 state is not a sustainable thing. That's a thing 00:05:12.540 --> 00:05:16.259 that even professionals have to dip into for 00:05:16.259 --> 00:05:19.519 important peaks. I think another interesting 00:05:19.519 --> 00:05:22.600 parallel between dancers and athletes is that 00:05:22.600 --> 00:05:27.079 the career is short. Right? Like your body only 00:05:27.079 --> 00:05:30.759 does that stuff for so long at that level. And, 00:05:30.759 --> 00:05:33.300 you know, like once you get past a certain age, 00:05:33.379 --> 00:05:36.920 things start declining. And there's a point where 00:05:36.920 --> 00:05:39.259 you're just you can't do the same things or you 00:05:39.259 --> 00:05:41.899 can't do the same things without pain. Right. 00:05:42.139 --> 00:05:45.240 Or things like that. So the careers of dancers 00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:48.939 and athletes are parallel in that way. We, however, 00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:52.420 as musicians, we're asking a lot of our bodies 00:05:52.420 --> 00:05:57.319 to. We're doing repetitive, very precise movements, 00:05:59.300 --> 00:06:02.660 often very small movements, but not always, and 00:06:02.660 --> 00:06:06.259 there's wear and tear in that as well, but a 00:06:06.259 --> 00:06:09.819 musician is expected to have a long... long illustrious 00:06:09.819 --> 00:06:12.240 career, right? So that's very right. And that 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:16.379 was actually one of the reasons why my dad didn't 00:06:16.379 --> 00:06:19.439 want me to become a dancer. He was telling me 00:06:19.439 --> 00:06:21.819 like, you know, the career is something that 00:06:21.819 --> 00:06:25.379 you get into because you love and that just because 00:06:25.379 --> 00:06:29.439 of your body and pain, you have to stop it earlier 00:06:29.439 --> 00:06:33.040 than you wanted it to be. Then that will be a 00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:36.480 disappointment for the whole life ahead of you. 00:06:36.500 --> 00:06:41.310 So I do think Musicians are like athletes because 00:06:41.310 --> 00:06:44.449 you practice, you perform, and it's actually 00:06:44.449 --> 00:06:47.949 physical. It's everything about it. I mean, there's 00:06:47.949 --> 00:06:51.889 brain activity, of course, related to that. But 00:06:51.889 --> 00:06:55.629 what's actually making music is physical. And 00:06:55.629 --> 00:06:59.850 a lot of times, until now, I think people kind 00:06:59.850 --> 00:07:04.129 of shy away from talking about pain. A lot of 00:07:04.129 --> 00:07:08.569 people choose not to get help or or physiotherapies 00:07:08.569 --> 00:07:13.550 just because people might view them as not professional, 00:07:13.769 --> 00:07:16.790 even though it's it's professional actually to 00:07:16.790 --> 00:07:20.910 to actively seek help. So I think that's something 00:07:20.910 --> 00:07:24.750 that we musicians have to work on. Yeah, I think 00:07:24.750 --> 00:07:27.189 it can also sort of be perceived as showing weakness. 00:07:27.850 --> 00:07:29.430 Right. Physiotherapy has been really important 00:07:29.430 --> 00:07:32.680 for me, maintaining the health of my body in 00:07:32.680 --> 00:07:35.500 my playing so I can do my job. Wouldn't it be 00:07:35.500 --> 00:07:38.920 nice if everyone was able to address these problems 00:07:38.920 --> 00:07:41.540 in the workplace in as open a way as they wanted 00:07:41.540 --> 00:07:45.160 to? And even if it is showing weakness, that 00:07:45.160 --> 00:07:47.819 that's not that that's okay. Right. Right. Like, 00:07:48.100 --> 00:07:50.060 because we all, you know, most of us are going 00:07:50.060 --> 00:07:52.939 to run into injuries of, you know, small to big. 00:07:54.199 --> 00:07:55.879 For sure. You play an instrument long enough, 00:07:56.079 --> 00:07:59.060 stuff happens, right? So wouldn't it be nice 00:07:59.060 --> 00:08:01.600 if there wasn't stigma about it and if you had 00:08:01.600 --> 00:08:04.540 a problem you could talk to trusted colleagues 00:08:04.540 --> 00:08:07.240 about it who maybe have dealt with the same thing 00:08:07.240 --> 00:08:08.860 and maybe you never knew and maybe they have 00:08:08.860 --> 00:08:12.000 solutions you know wouldn't it be nice if the 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:14.139 the culture in general not just amongst musicians 00:08:14.139 --> 00:08:17.920 but right you know all around was able to temper 00:08:17.920 --> 00:08:20.480 that culture of silence that i feel like there 00:08:20.480 --> 00:08:23.430 is and there still is about many things I think 00:08:23.430 --> 00:08:26.730 that's an excellent point. Especially for athletes, 00:08:27.370 --> 00:08:30.610 it's a little more prevalent, I would say, than 00:08:30.610 --> 00:08:34.570 musicians or dancers. So when I was in Juilliard, 00:08:34.769 --> 00:08:38.320 they actually have this clinic. in the same building 00:08:38.320 --> 00:08:41.840 as the school. At least for musicians, we were 00:08:41.840 --> 00:08:46.580 allowed to have two per week free sessions with 00:08:46.580 --> 00:08:51.039 it could be chiropractor or physiotherapist or 00:08:51.039 --> 00:08:53.639 even just general doctor. Oh, that's amazing. 00:08:53.860 --> 00:08:58.639 Yeah. So at the time, I actually used that opportunity 00:08:58.639 --> 00:09:02.940 to really dig into certain problems that I had 00:09:02.940 --> 00:09:06.120 at the time. I think I always have different 00:09:06.120 --> 00:09:10.179 problems at different times, small and big, but 00:09:10.179 --> 00:09:14.139 it's definitely from practicing, right? You practice 00:09:14.139 --> 00:09:17.600 like three to seven hours or maybe more depending 00:09:17.600 --> 00:09:20.960 on what you have. Oh boy, to play an instrument 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:23.419 where you didn't have limited resources each 00:09:23.419 --> 00:09:26.500 day, that sounds wild. In some ways, I'm glad 00:09:26.500 --> 00:09:28.539 I play an instrument where I can't really practice 00:09:28.539 --> 00:09:31.399 all day because it means like, well, I've... 00:09:31.450 --> 00:09:33.610 You know, I burned all my matches. Right. If 00:09:33.610 --> 00:09:36.029 I play anymore today, it's just going to make 00:09:36.029 --> 00:09:38.409 things worse. So, you know, there's a little 00:09:38.409 --> 00:09:44.549 more balance built in there. Yeah, we back in 00:09:44.549 --> 00:09:47.870 school, we actually talked about it a lot during. 00:09:48.319 --> 00:09:51.320 peers you know which instrumentalists actually 00:09:51.320 --> 00:09:53.500 practice the most you know is it the pianist 00:09:53.500 --> 00:09:56.759 or is it the violinist or is it the singers and 00:09:56.759 --> 00:10:00.320 then I always I got a little jealous thinking 00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:03.480 certain instrumentalists can't do it you know 00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:05.720 even if they wanted to practice more they just 00:10:05.720 --> 00:10:08.940 cannot and they should not so yeah good for you 00:10:08.940 --> 00:10:10.759 oh yeah but you know it makes you get creative 00:10:10.759 --> 00:10:12.320 too though right I remember when I was in school 00:10:12.320 --> 00:10:14.059 I mean I'm a much better trumpet player I'm a 00:10:14.059 --> 00:10:19.620 much better But I had time then and I knew I 00:10:19.620 --> 00:10:21.580 could only spend so much practicing, you know, 00:10:21.679 --> 00:10:23.460 you learn to figure out what your limits are 00:10:23.460 --> 00:10:26.720 at that time. I spent so much time in the library 00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:28.940 with my head in scores listening to recordings 00:10:28.940 --> 00:10:32.580 and that's practicing too. Yes. Yeah, because 00:10:32.580 --> 00:10:35.559 you can't. You could be as good as you wanted 00:10:35.559 --> 00:10:37.480 the trumpet, but unless you have an idea that 00:10:37.480 --> 00:10:39.940 you're trying to get across What's the point 00:10:39.940 --> 00:10:43.500 right? That's actually a great point. This is 00:10:43.500 --> 00:10:47.000 funny because It's bringing me back some memories 00:10:47.000 --> 00:10:51.980 when I was auditioning for Glenn Gold I didn't 00:10:51.980 --> 00:10:55.360 know at the time, but apparently I had to be 00:10:55.360 --> 00:10:58.820 ready for an interview right after the audition. 00:10:59.200 --> 00:11:02.960 So my pianist just leaves me on stage and I was 00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:06.139 just wondering what's happening. And the professors 00:11:06.139 --> 00:11:09.700 there just started asking me questions. So I 00:11:09.700 --> 00:11:13.200 was definitely blindsided and I had to be honest 00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:15.340 because I had no time to come up with answers. 00:11:15.679 --> 00:11:19.360 And one of the questions they asked was, how 00:11:19.360 --> 00:11:22.440 much do you practice a day? And at the time, 00:11:22.460 --> 00:11:25.419 I was going a little bit crazy. I was totally 00:11:25.419 --> 00:11:28.360 open about it. I said, you know, sometimes seven, 00:11:28.440 --> 00:11:31.299 sometimes maybe more. I just, you know, I had 00:11:31.299 --> 00:11:34.299 a lot of repertoire that I had to cover. And 00:11:34.299 --> 00:11:37.580 then Mr. Danchenko at the time, who passed away 00:11:37.580 --> 00:11:41.240 shortly after, he told me, you should not at 00:11:41.240 --> 00:11:43.779 your level, you should not practice more than 00:11:43.779 --> 00:11:47.620 three hours a day. And I looked at him thinking, 00:11:48.279 --> 00:11:52.129 how can you say that? because I'm pretty sure 00:11:52.129 --> 00:11:54.970 your students practice way more than that to 00:11:54.970 --> 00:11:58.649 meet the expectations he sets. And also when 00:11:58.649 --> 00:12:02.289 I started studying with Barry Schiffman at GGS, 00:12:02.809 --> 00:12:06.269 he also said the same thing, saying you're being 00:12:06.269 --> 00:12:09.110 lazy if you're practicing more than seven hours 00:12:09.110 --> 00:12:14.870 a day. Now I actually don't practice seven hours 00:12:14.870 --> 00:12:19.029 or more, because I then thought about a lot of 00:12:19.029 --> 00:12:22.330 different ways to practice. And I really liked 00:12:22.330 --> 00:12:26.710 your comment about score studying for it being 00:12:26.710 --> 00:12:30.370 practice as well. A lot of students that I encountered 00:12:30.370 --> 00:12:33.210 in the past think that, you know, listening to 00:12:33.210 --> 00:12:35.970 recordings or thinking about their interpretations 00:12:35.970 --> 00:12:40.149 or reading about certain music, they don't seem 00:12:40.149 --> 00:12:44.000 to regard that as practice. But that's actually 00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:47.419 the opposite. They should be doing that. I think 00:12:47.419 --> 00:12:51.860 it's better if they include that into their practice 00:12:51.860 --> 00:12:55.460 and take away the physical, not just physical 00:12:55.460 --> 00:12:58.960 labor, is practice. Yeah, no, I totally agree 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:01.580 with that. And, you know, just to add to that 00:13:01.580 --> 00:13:04.629 idea, I think the very most important thing is 00:13:04.629 --> 00:13:08.309 listening to live performances. Yes. Right? Because 00:13:08.309 --> 00:13:10.909 there's no substitute for that. That's overlooked 00:13:10.909 --> 00:13:14.570 so much now. When I was in school, I knew a pianist 00:13:14.570 --> 00:13:16.789 who was working on the Brahms Second Concerto. 00:13:18.870 --> 00:13:20.769 And Stephen Hough was playing the Brahms Second 00:13:20.769 --> 00:13:23.990 Concerto for a symphony. And my friend's recital 00:13:23.990 --> 00:13:26.409 was coming up and I said, man, I have a spare 00:13:26.409 --> 00:13:30.509 ticket. You know, the student ticket thing. Someone 00:13:30.509 --> 00:13:32.889 got sick or something. So I had this spare ticket 00:13:32.889 --> 00:13:35.590 and I said, Come come to this concert. He's like, 00:13:35.769 --> 00:13:37.710 no, I can't I have to practice and I'm like, 00:13:37.850 --> 00:13:41.649 dude You hear one of the great pianists play 00:13:41.649 --> 00:13:44.549 the piece that you are working on like this is 00:13:44.549 --> 00:13:47.190 it doesn't come more in a silver platter. Yeah, 00:13:47.649 --> 00:13:51.129 then that so I I think hearing live and live 00:13:51.129 --> 00:13:53.149 music is especially important for two reasons 00:13:53.149 --> 00:13:56.669 that I can think of one Recorded sound will never 00:13:56.669 --> 00:13:58.779 sound like the real thing Right? You're gonna 00:13:58.779 --> 00:14:01.360 have the greatest stereo in the world. And most 00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:02.799 of my students don't have the greatest stereo 00:14:02.799 --> 00:14:06.940 in the world. It's never gonna sound like the 00:14:06.940 --> 00:14:10.100 actual sound in an actual concert hall. Right. 00:14:10.220 --> 00:14:14.379 Right? No recording is transparent. I think a 00:14:14.379 --> 00:14:18.080 great recording of a performance of acoustic 00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:21.179 music does its best to come as close as possible 00:14:21.179 --> 00:14:25.940 to the actual sounds in the room. I agree. But... 00:14:26.029 --> 00:14:30.149 It's never gonna get there 100 % it can't it's 00:14:30.149 --> 00:14:33.409 just it just can't it just can't The other thing 00:14:33.409 --> 00:14:35.230 is we can listen to recordings all we want but 00:14:35.230 --> 00:14:38.549 recordings are edited Yes, you know even quote 00:14:38.549 --> 00:14:41.029 -unquote live recordings of concerts, you know 00:14:41.029 --> 00:14:42.690 There might be a patch session or there might 00:14:42.690 --> 00:14:45.830 be two concerts and then they take the right, 00:14:46.029 --> 00:14:49.629 you know, they pick and choose between a live 00:14:49.629 --> 00:14:53.389 performance in the room is always gonna be 100 00:14:53.389 --> 00:14:58.100 % honest warts and all And that's okay. I think 00:14:58.100 --> 00:15:00.639 that there's this culture of perfectionism in 00:15:00.639 --> 00:15:03.139 many things, but especially in classical music, 00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:06.679 in performance. Now, right. Yeah, now. And it 00:15:06.679 --> 00:15:10.759 comes from recordings, where everything is perfect. 00:15:12.179 --> 00:15:15.299 And I think even making a perfect recording can 00:15:15.299 --> 00:15:17.500 sometimes be to the detriment of the recording. 00:15:18.100 --> 00:15:21.240 I think if you're choosing a safe take that's 00:15:21.240 --> 00:15:26.129 correct over... Expressive, maybe? Yeah, over 00:15:26.129 --> 00:15:28.850 a more expressive take that might have a little 00:15:28.850 --> 00:15:31.389 blemish. I don't know. I mean, everyone has to 00:15:31.389 --> 00:15:33.509 make that choice for themselves in the recording 00:15:33.509 --> 00:15:35.929 they're making. But, you know, it's a choice 00:15:35.929 --> 00:15:37.850 and it's something that you need to think about. 00:15:38.870 --> 00:15:41.730 When you grow up listening to these perfect recordings 00:15:41.730 --> 00:15:44.850 and you think that that's how you should play 00:15:44.850 --> 00:15:47.250 and that if you're going for stuff and missing 00:15:47.250 --> 00:15:49.789 sometimes that you're not doing the right thing. 00:15:49.909 --> 00:15:52.889 Mm hmm. Right. And I think that that is a real 00:15:52.889 --> 00:15:57.879 trap. It's, to me, it's toxic. I grew up listening 00:15:57.879 --> 00:16:01.039 to a lot of recordings and sometimes you base 00:16:01.039 --> 00:16:04.639 on that experience when you choose your favorite 00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:09.919 artists. So Janine Jensen was not my, one of 00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:14.159 the favorite violinists until I saw her perform 00:16:14.159 --> 00:16:17.360 in person. I was in New York. That was before 00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:20.600 COVID. It was either November or December. I 00:16:20.600 --> 00:16:27.500 cannot remember. Oh my God, she, like her energy 00:16:27.500 --> 00:16:31.120 and her sound, just the whole experience shook 00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:36.580 me. And that resulted me going back home. Actually, 00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:39.539 no, I went back to the practice room in Juilliard. 00:16:39.539 --> 00:16:42.919 I started practicing. I think I practiced until 00:16:42.919 --> 00:16:46.230 the school. kicked me out. You went back to that 00:16:46.230 --> 00:16:48.330 night right after the concert. Isn't that the 00:16:48.330 --> 00:16:50.710 best? Isn't that the greatest thing? It doesn't 00:16:50.710 --> 00:16:52.990 end there. It doesn't end there. I went back 00:16:52.990 --> 00:16:57.570 home thinking, oh my God, I need to practice 00:16:57.570 --> 00:17:01.029 way more to become like her. So I decided to 00:17:01.029 --> 00:17:09.880 cut my hair. Yeah, right below my ears. I just 00:17:09.880 --> 00:17:12.680 cut it really short. I had a long hair thinking 00:17:12.680 --> 00:17:15.039 that it's going to save me a lot of time every 00:17:15.039 --> 00:17:19.980 day. Wow. So, yeah, and then everybody the next 00:17:19.980 --> 00:17:22.039 day, they were asking me about my, you know, 00:17:22.200 --> 00:17:24.619 hair change. And I told them, you know what, 00:17:24.900 --> 00:17:27.980 it's because of Yann Yann Sen. She just inspired 00:17:27.980 --> 00:17:32.480 me to do this. That's amazing. Wow. Yeah, that 00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:36.220 was crazy. And I still remember because listening 00:17:36.220 --> 00:17:40.940 to her recordings, it was perfect, but it was 00:17:40.940 --> 00:17:44.200 tamed. It was a little bit like, you know, looking 00:17:44.200 --> 00:17:51.279 at a beautiful calm. There is something beautiful 00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:54.640 about watching a wild animal with the look in 00:17:54.640 --> 00:18:00.279 their eyes. It was an energy bomb and my hair 00:18:00.279 --> 00:18:03.759 was gone. That's amazing. I heard her play a 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:05.799 very memorable Britain concerto with the Toronto 00:18:05.799 --> 00:18:08.160 Symphony when I was a student at Glenn Gould. 00:18:08.819 --> 00:18:13.430 She's one of my favorites too. So that's what 00:18:13.430 --> 00:18:17.230 I'm talking about that energy that vibration 00:18:17.230 --> 00:18:22.150 because music is frequencies And it travels and 00:18:22.150 --> 00:18:26.529 it travels to you. It travels to your heart sometimes 00:18:26.529 --> 00:18:29.609 you're listening to somebody perform and It's 00:18:29.609 --> 00:18:33.069 just notes. It's sheer notes. It's not more than 00:18:33.069 --> 00:18:36.390 that But when you hear someone who puts their 00:18:36.390 --> 00:18:39.650 heart and soul into it and that travels to you 00:18:39.650 --> 00:18:43.859 and touches you That's when magic happens. So 00:18:43.859 --> 00:18:49.140 you have to make sure that you make time to come 00:18:49.140 --> 00:18:54.440 out and listen to us because it will shake you. 00:18:54.579 --> 00:18:58.640 And I do hope anybody and everybody in the world 00:18:58.640 --> 00:19:02.220 will have at least once this experience of mine 00:19:02.220 --> 00:19:07.880 and maybe cut their hair. No, but music has that 00:19:07.880 --> 00:19:11.599 power, right? It does. Yeah, it's very special. 00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:15.140 And I think it has it more than many other forms 00:19:15.140 --> 00:19:19.140 of art because it's so abstract. And it's it's 00:19:19.140 --> 00:19:22.640 happening in real time. Yes. There is no way 00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:25.420 you can just cut it and then, oh, wait a second, 00:19:25.599 --> 00:19:28.200 we will do it again. You know, there is no hiding. 00:19:28.440 --> 00:19:30.839 Yeah. And what makes it even more difficult is 00:19:30.839 --> 00:19:34.220 that you have to be vulnerable. You have to be 00:19:34.220 --> 00:19:38.539 willing to put yourself out there on stage. And 00:19:38.539 --> 00:19:42.759 that's That's scary. And you have to be vulnerable 00:19:42.759 --> 00:19:46.220 enough so that you would like to share your story. 00:19:46.220 --> 00:19:50.440 And that's when you put your heart to it. I had 00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:55.579 to think a lot about what it is for me, what 00:19:55.579 --> 00:19:59.700 music is for me and for other people, especially 00:19:59.700 --> 00:20:05.039 during COVID. So I was in New York. I actually 00:20:05.039 --> 00:20:10.359 stayed until late May 2020. because I thought 00:20:10.359 --> 00:20:15.140 it would end soon or sooner than I thought. And 00:20:15.140 --> 00:20:18.539 things were going very crazy. A lot of riots 00:20:18.539 --> 00:20:23.279 were happening during that time. And my parents 00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:25.539 were getting really worried back in Korea because 00:20:25.539 --> 00:20:30.880 all they see and hear are from news. And that's 00:20:30.880 --> 00:20:35.039 just the worst, you know, that's happening. So... 00:20:35.019 --> 00:20:39.180 I had to fly back and I took a year off from 00:20:39.180 --> 00:20:43.019 my studies actually and during that year I saw 00:20:43.019 --> 00:20:46.640 a lot of my friends changing careers and a lot 00:20:46.640 --> 00:20:50.900 of friends just struggling to find meaning in 00:20:50.900 --> 00:20:56.380 music because a lot of orchestras they strived 00:20:56.380 --> 00:21:00.599 you know they tried to make things happen online 00:21:00.599 --> 00:21:04.890 concerts or recordings and projects But certain 00:21:04.890 --> 00:21:08.410 orchestras, especially the smaller ones, couldn't 00:21:08.410 --> 00:21:11.569 survive that. And it's not just orchestrates, 00:21:11.730 --> 00:21:15.049 the musicals, it's all just live performance 00:21:15.049 --> 00:21:20.750 venues. So I actually took my time seriously. 00:21:20.789 --> 00:21:24.970 I didn't even practice. I didn't have a goal 00:21:24.970 --> 00:21:30.710 to work towards. I didn't have any idea how it 00:21:30.710 --> 00:21:35.380 was going to be a year from then. My conclusion 00:21:35.380 --> 00:21:39.900 was that it's different. It's different from 00:21:39.900 --> 00:21:45.160 paintings. It's different from, I guess, media. 00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:47.680 It's different from K -dramas. It's different 00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:52.539 from pop songs and all that because it's live. 00:21:53.220 --> 00:21:58.299 And what's beautiful about it is because we humans, 00:21:58.319 --> 00:22:03.380 we live in the presence. We live in this moment. 00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:07.119 And there's nothing we can change. The struggles 00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:09.339 that come, you know, COVID, that was a struggle 00:22:09.339 --> 00:22:12.779 for everybody in the world. I even had a friend 00:22:12.779 --> 00:22:17.140 at the time in Juilliard who was from Wuhan, 00:22:18.420 --> 00:22:23.480 where we now believe where COVID came from or 00:22:23.480 --> 00:22:29.269 started. And I don't think she had to... be sorry 00:22:29.269 --> 00:22:32.089 for everybody around her but but she was and 00:22:32.089 --> 00:22:35.069 she apologized for everything that was happening 00:22:35.069 --> 00:22:39.990 and and it hurt me and and and to me i thought 00:22:39.990 --> 00:22:43.750 all these struggles you can hear it in music 00:22:43.750 --> 00:22:49.390 and and there's hope and we thrive we continue 00:22:49.390 --> 00:22:53.190 to leave we continue to suffer because one day 00:22:53.190 --> 00:22:57.859 we we have this hope and we believe that it will 00:22:57.859 --> 00:23:01.539 happen for us. Yeah, so that's that's how I came 00:23:01.539 --> 00:23:05.779 back to music because that was the only consolation. 00:23:06.460 --> 00:23:10.200 I was actually I have tear marks on my violin. 00:23:12.539 --> 00:23:15.940 Not because it was so beautiful, you know, I 00:23:15.940 --> 00:23:17.960 wasn't crying because it was so beautiful, but 00:23:17.960 --> 00:23:21.039 because I was suffering and I was suffering not 00:23:21.039 --> 00:23:26.859 from pains, but I was suffering from these unknown 00:23:26.859 --> 00:23:30.779 factors in life. I think that's when you get 00:23:30.779 --> 00:23:33.680 scared the most when you don't know what's going 00:23:33.680 --> 00:23:38.420 to happen. And the only escape for me was to 00:23:38.420 --> 00:23:42.259 practice and or to even not practice because 00:23:42.259 --> 00:23:48.099 that hurt me too much. But we held on just for 00:23:48.099 --> 00:23:52.519 one hope that one day we'll be together in person. 00:23:52.640 --> 00:23:56.279 and we'll be sharing our dreams again. Yeah, 00:23:56.279 --> 00:23:58.720 it's crazy thinking back to those times. It was 00:23:58.720 --> 00:24:02.920 such a such a time of uncertainty and worry and 00:24:02.920 --> 00:24:04.700 no one really knew what things were going to 00:24:04.700 --> 00:24:09.259 look like. But now here we are. Sort of back 00:24:09.259 --> 00:24:12.319 to normal, new normal, however you want to think 00:24:12.319 --> 00:24:15.440 about it. I think it bears remembering, though 00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:17.420 we shouldn't forget what that time was like because 00:24:17.420 --> 00:24:22.119 remembering those years helps us appreciate where 00:24:22.119 --> 00:24:26.539 we are now and it reminds us not to waste the 00:24:26.539 --> 00:24:30.200 opportunity that we have to share this connection 00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:32.839 of music and the arts and live performances and 00:24:32.839 --> 00:24:35.720 simply meeting up with a friend for coffee. Here 00:24:35.720 --> 00:24:38.039 we are sitting across a table having a conversation. 00:24:38.359 --> 00:24:42.170 I love this. It's great. There was a time when 00:24:42.170 --> 00:24:43.710 we didn't know when we were going to be able 00:24:43.710 --> 00:24:46.529 to do that again. I know. I remember drinking 00:24:46.529 --> 00:24:49.950 coffee online with my friends, even though we 00:24:49.950 --> 00:24:53.970 were in the same city. So that was sad. Recently, 00:24:55.329 --> 00:24:59.170 I actually felt this struggle and the hope from 00:24:59.170 --> 00:25:05.339 music. That was right after I won. the drop here 00:25:05.339 --> 00:25:09.180 with Calgary Philharmonic. So me and my partner, 00:25:09.460 --> 00:25:14.039 we're gonna go to hike. So we were on Jimmy Simpson 00:25:14.039 --> 00:25:19.519 and it was a long hike. It was like a climb. 00:25:20.960 --> 00:25:26.799 Very scary and it's just so tiring, just exhausting. 00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:31.140 So we were about... to get to the top it was 00:25:31.140 --> 00:25:34.819 probably 40 minutes away and I could see it I 00:25:34.819 --> 00:25:38.119 could see you know like oh that's where I'm gonna 00:25:38.119 --> 00:25:42.380 be you know that's the top and we started playing 00:25:42.380 --> 00:25:46.759 this um recording of Beethoven pastoral symphony 00:25:46.759 --> 00:25:51.940 um and vividly remember this um because when 00:25:51.940 --> 00:25:56.160 the storm part storm section started playing 00:25:56.160 --> 00:26:00.839 I just couldn't control but to cry. But it was 00:26:00.839 --> 00:26:04.720 like the feeling good kind of cry. And the reason 00:26:04.720 --> 00:26:07.220 why I cried was not because it was beautiful, 00:26:07.660 --> 00:26:11.119 but it was intimidating. It was threatening, 00:26:12.119 --> 00:26:18.960 scary. And then I realized that I never talk 00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:23.799 about my problems or complaints or anything to 00:26:23.799 --> 00:26:27.339 people around me. I usually keep it to myself. 00:26:27.799 --> 00:26:30.640 Um, but when I heard it and started thinking 00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:34.200 about, oh my God, when Beethoven was writing 00:26:34.200 --> 00:26:38.380 this song, uh, this music, um, he was going deaf 00:26:38.380 --> 00:26:42.400 and probably he felt this, this hopelessness 00:26:42.400 --> 00:26:46.299 and this helplessness in his life, but still 00:26:46.299 --> 00:26:51.579 he, he was looking for hope. And you can hear 00:26:51.579 --> 00:26:55.019 that in his music after the storm part, you hear 00:26:55.019 --> 00:26:59.529 this beautiful beautiful melody and I thought 00:26:59.529 --> 00:27:05.190 this is this is life and I was thinking to myself 00:27:05.190 --> 00:27:08.450 oh my god yes it was so hard to get to the point 00:27:08.450 --> 00:27:12.730 where I actually win a job and that was my dream 00:27:12.730 --> 00:27:19.329 my dream to make music for a living and to do 00:27:19.329 --> 00:27:26.049 it with your friends and just to admit that it 00:27:26.049 --> 00:27:30.609 was a big struggle in my life. And it was okay 00:27:30.609 --> 00:27:36.670 to feel scared at times. So it was so good to 00:27:36.670 --> 00:27:40.150 cry just for about 20 minutes. So it delayed 00:27:40.150 --> 00:27:44.089 our summit for about 20 minutes, but that was 00:27:44.089 --> 00:27:48.890 okay. That was worth it. But yeah, and I do sometimes 00:27:48.890 --> 00:27:52.930 cry watching it could be a soloist, it could 00:27:52.930 --> 00:27:56.309 be an orchestra. Usually orchestra performances 00:27:56.309 --> 00:28:01.869 does it better for me, just because it's more 00:28:01.869 --> 00:28:05.849 grand and there's more energy that you gain. 00:28:06.569 --> 00:28:10.970 So I hope one day somebody will actually come 00:28:10.970 --> 00:28:14.849 to our concerts and start crying, you know? And 00:28:14.849 --> 00:28:16.589 it doesn't have to be because it's beautiful, 00:28:16.829 --> 00:28:21.609 you know? Jenga I feel like I know you so much 00:28:21.609 --> 00:28:24.910 better now if we haven't had much time to really 00:28:24.910 --> 00:28:26.690 get to know each other super because you haven't 00:28:26.690 --> 00:28:28.769 been here for very long I feel like I know you 00:28:28.769 --> 00:28:30.349 so much better now, but there's so much that 00:28:30.349 --> 00:28:33.170 I still don't know about you Mm -hmm. I see what 00:28:33.170 --> 00:28:34.710 work. What do you like to do when you're not 00:28:34.710 --> 00:28:39.750 at work? Oh That's a fun question because I come 00:28:39.750 --> 00:28:44.240 from artsy family, I would say. My dad was a 00:28:44.240 --> 00:28:47.559 painter before he turned himself into businessman. 00:28:48.240 --> 00:28:53.339 So my sister is also a painter. So I like to 00:28:53.339 --> 00:28:57.960 craft stuff. So either right now you can see 00:28:57.960 --> 00:29:04.509 my nails, I do. nail polish for myself. I also 00:29:04.509 --> 00:29:07.349 like sewing, you know, if there is like holes 00:29:07.349 --> 00:29:10.109 in the pants, especially for my partner, it's 00:29:10.109 --> 00:29:14.309 just relaxing for me. So I like sewing or making 00:29:14.309 --> 00:29:19.470 like aprons, not super complicated projects, 00:29:19.589 --> 00:29:22.450 but something that I can use right away. When 00:29:22.450 --> 00:29:26.609 I was in New York, I loved watching opera. I 00:29:26.609 --> 00:29:29.950 love good opera. It's so romantic. it's just 00:29:29.950 --> 00:29:34.089 so much emotions and so much crying and love. 00:29:34.890 --> 00:29:37.130 That's one of the great things about this job 00:29:37.130 --> 00:29:39.049 and about playing in a mid -size orchestra like 00:29:39.049 --> 00:29:40.769 the Calgary Philharmonic is we get to play the 00:29:40.769 --> 00:29:42.769 opera. Oh my god. I was talking to someone in 00:29:42.769 --> 00:29:44.930 the Toronto Symphony recently and like they don't 00:29:44.930 --> 00:29:46.170 they don't get to play any opera. They don't 00:29:46.170 --> 00:29:47.990 get to. The opera there has they have their own 00:29:47.990 --> 00:29:50.430 orchestra right so I think that's one of the 00:29:50.430 --> 00:29:53.269 real treats about about a job like ours. Yeah 00:29:53.269 --> 00:29:56.700 I loved the Don Giovanni it was just because 00:29:56.700 --> 00:30:00.660 you hear the singers and you hear the orchestra 00:30:00.660 --> 00:30:03.819 making music and you hear you can actually not 00:30:03.819 --> 00:30:06.940 hear but you can feel the enthusiasm from the 00:30:06.940 --> 00:30:10.640 audience so yeah um so i like to be creative 00:30:10.640 --> 00:30:15.480 um it's small scale or bigger scale but one of 00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:18.920 the fun things other than crafting up something 00:30:19.710 --> 00:30:22.430 is actually talking to my family basically because 00:30:22.430 --> 00:30:26.130 they are far away. I think it's about 14 to 19 00:30:26.130 --> 00:30:30.390 hour flight from here. I haven't been back home 00:30:30.390 --> 00:30:33.710 for about three years now. That wasn't my plan, 00:30:33.769 --> 00:30:37.029 but somehow it just turned out to be that way. 00:30:37.730 --> 00:30:41.890 Despite the time zone difference, we still make 00:30:41.890 --> 00:30:48.799 it work. family is the only purpose in life, 00:30:49.400 --> 00:30:51.420 but somebody close to you, somebody close to 00:30:51.420 --> 00:30:54.960 your heart gives you purpose. Yeah, that's very 00:30:54.960 --> 00:30:58.140 well said. That's very well said. So you've had 00:30:58.140 --> 00:31:01.160 a chance to get to know all your colleagues as 00:31:01.160 --> 00:31:03.960 people and as musicians to some degree. Yes, 00:31:04.119 --> 00:31:06.500 I'm still working on it though. I still want 00:31:06.500 --> 00:31:08.960 to get to know people in different sections better. 00:31:09.400 --> 00:31:13.039 Actually, it is really fun to come to work. What 00:31:13.039 --> 00:31:17.640 I don't know is normal for any other field, but 00:31:17.640 --> 00:31:19.579 you actually get to talk to people and you sit 00:31:19.579 --> 00:31:24.240 next to a player. In Calgary Philharmonic right 00:31:24.240 --> 00:31:27.839 now is rotating chairs. So sometimes I sit with 00:31:27.839 --> 00:31:30.160 the same person for maybe two weeks or maybe 00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:32.920 just only one week and then you get to know somebody 00:31:32.920 --> 00:31:36.359 else better the next week. So it's like a roller 00:31:36.359 --> 00:31:38.839 coaster, but the fun one. Yeah, that's great. 00:31:39.130 --> 00:31:41.329 Well, in your time on stage, you've heard us 00:31:41.329 --> 00:31:43.670 all playing and you've gotten to know our playing 00:31:43.670 --> 00:31:47.390 a little bit. Who's someone who's playing has 00:31:47.390 --> 00:31:48.829 intrigued you? Who's someone who's playing you 00:31:48.829 --> 00:31:52.829 admire on the stage? Oh, well, not because he 00:31:52.829 --> 00:31:57.130 has same last name as mine, but Mr. Choi Arnold, 00:31:57.650 --> 00:32:01.390 the principal cellist. Oh, my God, he's great. 00:32:01.609 --> 00:32:05.549 I can tell that he really, really puts his soul 00:32:05.549 --> 00:32:09.460 into his music and he is fearless. He just plays 00:32:09.460 --> 00:32:14.640 it out. You can hear it. And also, for the Babar, 00:32:15.539 --> 00:32:20.700 for education concert, he was acting as the elephant. 00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:24.440 Yeah, we played the Bulank Babar. And he actually 00:32:24.440 --> 00:32:26.180 the narrator, he went to high school with the 00:32:26.180 --> 00:32:28.380 narrator. So that was that connection. And yes, 00:32:28.480 --> 00:32:30.920 Arnold got out of his chair and acted the role 00:32:30.920 --> 00:32:33.940 of the king of the elephants. meets an untimely 00:32:33.940 --> 00:32:38.759 end. The story of Babar is of another time. Let's 00:32:38.759 --> 00:32:43.299 put it that way. So yes, I do admire his playing. 00:32:43.339 --> 00:32:47.519 And also our concertmaster, Diana Kohan, her 00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:52.220 Charizard was unbelievable. It was, I'm not saying 00:32:52.220 --> 00:32:56.880 it just because she's my boss, but it was very 00:32:56.880 --> 00:33:02.059 gutsy. And I As you can tell from my story with, 00:33:02.059 --> 00:33:04.559 you know, listening to Yanni Jensen's performance, 00:33:04.839 --> 00:33:08.880 I really appreciate somebody who risks it all. 00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:12.420 Because that's not easy to do. That's something 00:33:12.420 --> 00:33:18.640 that I don't think I can do it. It's not easy. 00:33:20.279 --> 00:33:22.539 Because you're being vulnerable and you're being 00:33:22.539 --> 00:33:24.400 confident at the same time. Yeah. Yeah, that's 00:33:24.400 --> 00:33:25.779 something I really admire and Diane is playing 00:33:25.779 --> 00:33:29.799 as well. Absolutely. Just go for it. Well, thank 00:33:29.799 --> 00:33:33.779 you so much. This has been just a wonderful time 00:33:33.779 --> 00:33:35.380 chatting with you and getting to know you a little 00:33:35.380 --> 00:33:38.660 bit better. Thank you. Thank you. I had a blast. 00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:42.900 I hope to return actually because there's so 00:33:42.900 --> 00:33:47.539 much more I want to talk about and share. I am 00:33:47.539 --> 00:33:50.339 having a blast in Calgary Philharmonic and also 00:33:50.339 --> 00:33:54.160 in Calgary too. It's so sunny. I was in Vancouver, 00:33:54.859 --> 00:33:58.339 so New York and Toronto, but by far I think Calgary 00:33:58.339 --> 00:34:00.779 is the winner. Awesome. Well, we're so glad to 00:34:00.779 --> 00:34:05.819 have you. Thank you so much. Notes from the Stage 00:34:05.819 --> 00:34:08.239 is an independent production of the Calgary Philharmonic 00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:10.920 Players Association. The opinions expressed here 00:34:10.920 --> 00:34:13.260 are our own and do not reflect those of the Calgary 00:34:13.260 --> 00:34:15.829 Philharmonic Orchestra. Our thanks to Nathan 00:34:15.829 --> 00:34:18.789 Chandler for his technical expertise. The music 00:34:18.789 --> 00:34:21.369 you heard on this episode was Paganini's 13th 00:34:21.369 --> 00:34:24.869 Caprice, performed by John Gauchoy. On our next 00:34:24.869 --> 00:34:27.190 episode in two weeks, I'll be talking with violist 00:34:27.190 --> 00:34:28.909 Jeremy Baumann. Talk to you soon!