Hi there, and welcome to Notes from the Stage,
a show from the musicians of the Calgary Philharmonic.
We're the people playing our hearts out every
week of the orchestra season. I'm Adam Zinatelli.
Usually I play first trumpet in the Calgary Philharmonic,
but today I'm your host, and I'm here with Chang
'e Choi, brand new section first violinist in
the Calgary Philharmonic. Hello Chang 'e, how
are you? Hi! Welcome to Calgary! Thank you for
having me. I don't really get to speak too much,
so this is a great opportunity for me. Oh, come
on now. We've chatted enough backstage that I
know that you're a delightful conversationalist.
You're very generous. Thank you. No, but it's
great to have you. And you know, when I was sort
of plotting out this first year of this show,
I was thinking I should better talk to all the
new people in the orchestra. And I did that.
But even after I made that plan. You showed up.
Yeah, I just showed up. I got the job. So you
won your audition here after this season had
started. It was in October? September. It was
in September, right near the beginning of the
season. OK. And then I had to plan a little bit
like my moving and because I wanted to be closer
to the hall. So it took about, I guess, a month
for me from the time when I won the job and to
start. the first concert yeah yeah i also started
mid season i won my audition in november and
then i had a trial in january and february of
the following year and then i started properly
around march so we partial partial first year
people it's nice you know even though even though
your first season is going to be sort of pretty
close to a full length thing i know for me having
that partial season to kind of figure things
out before you get that whole cycle of fatigue
and stress stacking up. I didn't even think about
that. Yeah, no, that was really useful for me.
And I think you've got a slight advantage in
your first season, maybe by starting a little
bit after the beginning. So it just doesn't stack
up quite so much because let me tell you, it
can really stack up. Oh, oh, my goodness. So
where were you before you came to Calgary? I
was in Toronto. I was studying and working at
the same time. So I studied in Glenn Gould School.
I also went to Glenn Gould School. You did? I
did my undergrad there. What? I did my artist
diploma there. So that was for two years. And
in my second year of my studies, I joined Symphonia
Toronto, which is a chamber orchestra. So yeah,
that was my experience before joining Calgary
Philharmonic. Okay, so an artist diploma at Glenn
Gold, that's like a master's level kind of credential.
What was your path getting to there? Maybe work
backwards for me. Where were you before Glenn
Gold? So I was at Glenn Gold and right before
that I was at Juilliard doing my master's, so
that's also two years, and then I was in UBC
in Vancouver. for my undergrad. To speak a little
bit about my education, before UBC, I was in
Korea. I was in Sona Arts Middle and High School,
which is a private school for actually dancers.
and painters and musicians. In middle school,
our classrooms are actually filled with all different
majors. But in high school, you are divided into
dancers only, musicians only classroom. That
sort of interdisciplinary cross -pollination
is really interesting, right? Because I know
like dance is a big blind spot for me. I know
that I'm missing out by not having developed.
a real appreciation of dance. That's something
that I know. That's a me problem, not a dance
problem. And you've probably got a head start
on those other disciplines just by being around
people who are living that life. Right, right.
I actually wanted to be a ballerina when I was
four and my dad shut down the dream of mine because
I think he was worried that I will starve the
whole career. I don't No, if that's true, but
the only thing I can assume is from talking to
my ballerina and ballerina friends, but they
seem to be eating okay. But only during those
like competition or actual season for performances,
then they have to cut down the calories. But
yeah, it's like athletes, right? Cycling is my
sport, right? The guys who are really shooting
to do well at the Tour de France, right? Like
their prep is very specific to that. That kind
of hyperdiscipline and really specialized body
state is not a sustainable thing. That's a thing
that even professionals have to dip into for
important peaks. I think another interesting
parallel between dancers and athletes is that
the career is short. Right? Like your body only
does that stuff for so long at that level. And,
you know, like once you get past a certain age,
things start declining. And there's a point where
you're just you can't do the same things or you
can't do the same things without pain. Right.
Or things like that. So the careers of dancers
and athletes are parallel in that way. We, however,
as musicians, we're asking a lot of our bodies
to. We're doing repetitive, very precise movements,
often very small movements, but not always, and
there's wear and tear in that as well, but a
musician is expected to have a long... long illustrious
career, right? So that's very right. And that
was actually one of the reasons why my dad didn't
want me to become a dancer. He was telling me
like, you know, the career is something that
you get into because you love and that just because
of your body and pain, you have to stop it earlier
than you wanted it to be. Then that will be a
disappointment for the whole life ahead of you.
So I do think Musicians are like athletes because
you practice, you perform, and it's actually
physical. It's everything about it. I mean, there's
brain activity, of course, related to that. But
what's actually making music is physical. And
a lot of times, until now, I think people kind
of shy away from talking about pain. A lot of
people choose not to get help or or physiotherapies
just because people might view them as not professional,
even though it's it's professional actually to
to actively seek help. So I think that's something
that we musicians have to work on. Yeah, I think
it can also sort of be perceived as showing weakness.
Right. Physiotherapy has been really important
for me, maintaining the health of my body in
my playing so I can do my job. Wouldn't it be
nice if everyone was able to address these problems
in the workplace in as open a way as they wanted
to? And even if it is showing weakness, that
that's not that that's okay. Right. Right. Like,
because we all, you know, most of us are going
to run into injuries of, you know, small to big.
For sure. You play an instrument long enough,
stuff happens, right? So wouldn't it be nice
if there wasn't stigma about it and if you had
a problem you could talk to trusted colleagues
about it who maybe have dealt with the same thing
and maybe you never knew and maybe they have
solutions you know wouldn't it be nice if the
the culture in general not just amongst musicians
but right you know all around was able to temper
that culture of silence that i feel like there
is and there still is about many things I think
that's an excellent point. Especially for athletes,
it's a little more prevalent, I would say, than
musicians or dancers. So when I was in Juilliard,
they actually have this clinic. in the same building
as the school. At least for musicians, we were
allowed to have two per week free sessions with
it could be chiropractor or physiotherapist or
even just general doctor. Oh, that's amazing.
Yeah. So at the time, I actually used that opportunity
to really dig into certain problems that I had
at the time. I think I always have different
problems at different times, small and big, but
it's definitely from practicing, right? You practice
like three to seven hours or maybe more depending
on what you have. Oh boy, to play an instrument
where you didn't have limited resources each
day, that sounds wild. In some ways, I'm glad
I play an instrument where I can't really practice
all day because it means like, well, I've...
You know, I burned all my matches. Right. If
I play anymore today, it's just going to make
things worse. So, you know, there's a little
more balance built in there. Yeah, we back in
school, we actually talked about it a lot during.
peers you know which instrumentalists actually
practice the most you know is it the pianist
or is it the violinist or is it the singers and
then I always I got a little jealous thinking
certain instrumentalists can't do it you know
even if they wanted to practice more they just
cannot and they should not so yeah good for you
oh yeah but you know it makes you get creative
too though right I remember when I was in school
I mean I'm a much better trumpet player I'm a
much better But I had time then and I knew I
could only spend so much practicing, you know,
you learn to figure out what your limits are
at that time. I spent so much time in the library
with my head in scores listening to recordings
and that's practicing too. Yes. Yeah, because
you can't. You could be as good as you wanted
the trumpet, but unless you have an idea that
you're trying to get across What's the point
right? That's actually a great point. This is
funny because It's bringing me back some memories
when I was auditioning for Glenn Gold I didn't
know at the time, but apparently I had to be
ready for an interview right after the audition.
So my pianist just leaves me on stage and I was
just wondering what's happening. And the professors
there just started asking me questions. So I
was definitely blindsided and I had to be honest
because I had no time to come up with answers.
And one of the questions they asked was, how
much do you practice a day? And at the time,
I was going a little bit crazy. I was totally
open about it. I said, you know, sometimes seven,
sometimes maybe more. I just, you know, I had
a lot of repertoire that I had to cover. And
then Mr. Danchenko at the time, who passed away
shortly after, he told me, you should not at
your level, you should not practice more than
three hours a day. And I looked at him thinking,
how can you say that? because I'm pretty sure
your students practice way more than that to
meet the expectations he sets. And also when
I started studying with Barry Schiffman at GGS,
he also said the same thing, saying you're being
lazy if you're practicing more than seven hours
a day. Now I actually don't practice seven hours
or more, because I then thought about a lot of
different ways to practice. And I really liked
your comment about score studying for it being
practice as well. A lot of students that I encountered
in the past think that, you know, listening to
recordings or thinking about their interpretations
or reading about certain music, they don't seem
to regard that as practice. But that's actually
the opposite. They should be doing that. I think
it's better if they include that into their practice
and take away the physical, not just physical
labor, is practice. Yeah, no, I totally agree
with that. And, you know, just to add to that
idea, I think the very most important thing is
listening to live performances. Yes. Right? Because
there's no substitute for that. That's overlooked
so much now. When I was in school, I knew a pianist
who was working on the Brahms Second Concerto.
And Stephen Hough was playing the Brahms Second
Concerto for a symphony. And my friend's recital
was coming up and I said, man, I have a spare
ticket. You know, the student ticket thing. Someone
got sick or something. So I had this spare ticket
and I said, Come come to this concert. He's like,
no, I can't I have to practice and I'm like,
dude You hear one of the great pianists play
the piece that you are working on like this is
it doesn't come more in a silver platter. Yeah,
then that so I I think hearing live and live
music is especially important for two reasons
that I can think of one Recorded sound will never
sound like the real thing Right? You're gonna
have the greatest stereo in the world. And most
of my students don't have the greatest stereo
in the world. It's never gonna sound like the
actual sound in an actual concert hall. Right.
Right? No recording is transparent. I think a
great recording of a performance of acoustic
music does its best to come as close as possible
to the actual sounds in the room. I agree. But...
It's never gonna get there 100 % it can't it's
just it just can't it just can't The other thing
is we can listen to recordings all we want but
recordings are edited Yes, you know even quote
-unquote live recordings of concerts, you know
There might be a patch session or there might
be two concerts and then they take the right,
you know, they pick and choose between a live
performance in the room is always gonna be 100
% honest warts and all And that's okay. I think
that there's this culture of perfectionism in
many things, but especially in classical music,
in performance. Now, right. Yeah, now. And it
comes from recordings, where everything is perfect.
And I think even making a perfect recording can
sometimes be to the detriment of the recording.
I think if you're choosing a safe take that's
correct over... Expressive, maybe? Yeah, over
a more expressive take that might have a little
blemish. I don't know. I mean, everyone has to
make that choice for themselves in the recording
they're making. But, you know, it's a choice
and it's something that you need to think about.
When you grow up listening to these perfect recordings
and you think that that's how you should play
and that if you're going for stuff and missing
sometimes that you're not doing the right thing.
Mm hmm. Right. And I think that that is a real
trap. It's, to me, it's toxic. I grew up listening
to a lot of recordings and sometimes you base
on that experience when you choose your favorite
artists. So Janine Jensen was not my, one of
the favorite violinists until I saw her perform
in person. I was in New York. That was before
COVID. It was either November or December. I
cannot remember. Oh my God, she, like her energy
and her sound, just the whole experience shook
me. And that resulted me going back home. Actually,
no, I went back to the practice room in Juilliard.
I started practicing. I think I practiced until
the school. kicked me out. You went back to that
night right after the concert. Isn't that the
best? Isn't that the greatest thing? It doesn't
end there. It doesn't end there. I went back
home thinking, oh my God, I need to practice
way more to become like her. So I decided to
cut my hair. Yeah, right below my ears. I just
cut it really short. I had a long hair thinking
that it's going to save me a lot of time every
day. Wow. So, yeah, and then everybody the next
day, they were asking me about my, you know,
hair change. And I told them, you know what,
it's because of Yann Yann Sen. She just inspired
me to do this. That's amazing. Wow. Yeah, that
was crazy. And I still remember because listening
to her recordings, it was perfect, but it was
tamed. It was a little bit like, you know, looking
at a beautiful calm. There is something beautiful
about watching a wild animal with the look in
their eyes. It was an energy bomb and my hair
was gone. That's amazing. I heard her play a
very memorable Britain concerto with the Toronto
Symphony when I was a student at Glenn Gould.
She's one of my favorites too. So that's what
I'm talking about that energy that vibration
because music is frequencies And it travels and
it travels to you. It travels to your heart sometimes
you're listening to somebody perform and It's
just notes. It's sheer notes. It's not more than
that But when you hear someone who puts their
heart and soul into it and that travels to you
and touches you That's when magic happens. So
you have to make sure that you make time to come
out and listen to us because it will shake you.
And I do hope anybody and everybody in the world
will have at least once this experience of mine
and maybe cut their hair. No, but music has that
power, right? It does. Yeah, it's very special.
And I think it has it more than many other forms
of art because it's so abstract. And it's it's
happening in real time. Yes. There is no way
you can just cut it and then, oh, wait a second,
we will do it again. You know, there is no hiding.
Yeah. And what makes it even more difficult is
that you have to be vulnerable. You have to be
willing to put yourself out there on stage. And
that's That's scary. And you have to be vulnerable
enough so that you would like to share your story.
And that's when you put your heart to it. I had
to think a lot about what it is for me, what
music is for me and for other people, especially
during COVID. So I was in New York. I actually
stayed until late May 2020. because I thought
it would end soon or sooner than I thought. And
things were going very crazy. A lot of riots
were happening during that time. And my parents
were getting really worried back in Korea because
all they see and hear are from news. And that's
just the worst, you know, that's happening. So...
I had to fly back and I took a year off from
my studies actually and during that year I saw
a lot of my friends changing careers and a lot
of friends just struggling to find meaning in
music because a lot of orchestras they strived
you know they tried to make things happen online
concerts or recordings and projects But certain
orchestras, especially the smaller ones, couldn't
survive that. And it's not just orchestrates,
the musicals, it's all just live performance
venues. So I actually took my time seriously.
I didn't even practice. I didn't have a goal
to work towards. I didn't have any idea how it
was going to be a year from then. My conclusion
was that it's different. It's different from
paintings. It's different from, I guess, media.
It's different from K -dramas. It's different
from pop songs and all that because it's live.
And what's beautiful about it is because we humans,
we live in the presence. We live in this moment.
And there's nothing we can change. The struggles
that come, you know, COVID, that was a struggle
for everybody in the world. I even had a friend
at the time in Juilliard who was from Wuhan,
where we now believe where COVID came from or
started. And I don't think she had to... be sorry
for everybody around her but but she was and
she apologized for everything that was happening
and and it hurt me and and and to me i thought
all these struggles you can hear it in music
and and there's hope and we thrive we continue
to leave we continue to suffer because one day
we we have this hope and we believe that it will
happen for us. Yeah, so that's that's how I came
back to music because that was the only consolation.
I was actually I have tear marks on my violin.
Not because it was so beautiful, you know, I
wasn't crying because it was so beautiful, but
because I was suffering and I was suffering not
from pains, but I was suffering from these unknown
factors in life. I think that's when you get
scared the most when you don't know what's going
to happen. And the only escape for me was to
practice and or to even not practice because
that hurt me too much. But we held on just for
one hope that one day we'll be together in person.
and we'll be sharing our dreams again. Yeah,
it's crazy thinking back to those times. It was
such a such a time of uncertainty and worry and
no one really knew what things were going to
look like. But now here we are. Sort of back
to normal, new normal, however you want to think
about it. I think it bears remembering, though
we shouldn't forget what that time was like because
remembering those years helps us appreciate where
we are now and it reminds us not to waste the
opportunity that we have to share this connection
of music and the arts and live performances and
simply meeting up with a friend for coffee. Here
we are sitting across a table having a conversation.
I love this. It's great. There was a time when
we didn't know when we were going to be able
to do that again. I know. I remember drinking
coffee online with my friends, even though we
were in the same city. So that was sad. Recently,
I actually felt this struggle and the hope from
music. That was right after I won. the drop here
with Calgary Philharmonic. So me and my partner,
we're gonna go to hike. So we were on Jimmy Simpson
and it was a long hike. It was like a climb.
Very scary and it's just so tiring, just exhausting.
So we were about... to get to the top it was
probably 40 minutes away and I could see it I
could see you know like oh that's where I'm gonna
be you know that's the top and we started playing
this um recording of Beethoven pastoral symphony
um and vividly remember this um because when
the storm part storm section started playing
I just couldn't control but to cry. But it was
like the feeling good kind of cry. And the reason
why I cried was not because it was beautiful,
but it was intimidating. It was threatening,
scary. And then I realized that I never talk
about my problems or complaints or anything to
people around me. I usually keep it to myself.
Um, but when I heard it and started thinking
about, oh my God, when Beethoven was writing
this song, uh, this music, um, he was going deaf
and probably he felt this, this hopelessness
and this helplessness in his life, but still
he, he was looking for hope. And you can hear
that in his music after the storm part, you hear
this beautiful beautiful melody and I thought
this is this is life and I was thinking to myself
oh my god yes it was so hard to get to the point
where I actually win a job and that was my dream
my dream to make music for a living and to do
it with your friends and just to admit that it
was a big struggle in my life. And it was okay
to feel scared at times. So it was so good to
cry just for about 20 minutes. So it delayed
our summit for about 20 minutes, but that was
okay. That was worth it. But yeah, and I do sometimes
cry watching it could be a soloist, it could
be an orchestra. Usually orchestra performances
does it better for me, just because it's more
grand and there's more energy that you gain.
So I hope one day somebody will actually come
to our concerts and start crying, you know? And
it doesn't have to be because it's beautiful,
you know? Jenga I feel like I know you so much
better now if we haven't had much time to really
get to know each other super because you haven't
been here for very long I feel like I know you
so much better now, but there's so much that
I still don't know about you Mm -hmm. I see what
work. What do you like to do when you're not
at work? Oh That's a fun question because I come
from artsy family, I would say. My dad was a
painter before he turned himself into businessman.
So my sister is also a painter. So I like to
craft stuff. So either right now you can see
my nails, I do. nail polish for myself. I also
like sewing, you know, if there is like holes
in the pants, especially for my partner, it's
just relaxing for me. So I like sewing or making
like aprons, not super complicated projects,
but something that I can use right away. When
I was in New York, I loved watching opera. I
love good opera. It's so romantic. it's just
so much emotions and so much crying and love.
That's one of the great things about this job
and about playing in a mid -size orchestra like
the Calgary Philharmonic is we get to play the
opera. Oh my god. I was talking to someone in
the Toronto Symphony recently and like they don't
they don't get to play any opera. They don't
get to. The opera there has they have their own
orchestra right so I think that's one of the
real treats about about a job like ours. Yeah
I loved the Don Giovanni it was just because
you hear the singers and you hear the orchestra
making music and you hear you can actually not
hear but you can feel the enthusiasm from the
audience so yeah um so i like to be creative
um it's small scale or bigger scale but one of
the fun things other than crafting up something
is actually talking to my family basically because
they are far away. I think it's about 14 to 19
hour flight from here. I haven't been back home
for about three years now. That wasn't my plan,
but somehow it just turned out to be that way.
Despite the time zone difference, we still make
it work. family is the only purpose in life,
but somebody close to you, somebody close to
your heart gives you purpose. Yeah, that's very
well said. That's very well said. So you've had
a chance to get to know all your colleagues as
people and as musicians to some degree. Yes,
I'm still working on it though. I still want
to get to know people in different sections better.
Actually, it is really fun to come to work. What
I don't know is normal for any other field, but
you actually get to talk to people and you sit
next to a player. In Calgary Philharmonic right
now is rotating chairs. So sometimes I sit with
the same person for maybe two weeks or maybe
just only one week and then you get to know somebody
else better the next week. So it's like a roller
coaster, but the fun one. Yeah, that's great.
Well, in your time on stage, you've heard us
all playing and you've gotten to know our playing
a little bit. Who's someone who's playing has
intrigued you? Who's someone who's playing you
admire on the stage? Oh, well, not because he
has same last name as mine, but Mr. Choi Arnold,
the principal cellist. Oh, my God, he's great.
I can tell that he really, really puts his soul
into his music and he is fearless. He just plays
it out. You can hear it. And also, for the Babar,
for education concert, he was acting as the elephant.
Yeah, we played the Bulank Babar. And he actually
the narrator, he went to high school with the
narrator. So that was that connection. And yes,
Arnold got out of his chair and acted the role
of the king of the elephants. meets an untimely
end. The story of Babar is of another time. Let's
put it that way. So yes, I do admire his playing.
And also our concertmaster, Diana Kohan, her
Charizard was unbelievable. It was, I'm not saying
it just because she's my boss, but it was very
gutsy. And I As you can tell from my story with,
you know, listening to Yanni Jensen's performance,
I really appreciate somebody who risks it all.
Because that's not easy to do. That's something
that I don't think I can do it. It's not easy.
Because you're being vulnerable and you're being
confident at the same time. Yeah. Yeah, that's
something I really admire and Diane is playing
as well. Absolutely. Just go for it. Well, thank
you so much. This has been just a wonderful time
chatting with you and getting to know you a little
bit better. Thank you. Thank you. I had a blast.
I hope to return actually because there's so
much more I want to talk about and share. I am
having a blast in Calgary Philharmonic and also
in Calgary too. It's so sunny. I was in Vancouver,
so New York and Toronto, but by far I think Calgary
is the winner. Awesome. Well, we're so glad to
have you. Thank you so much. Notes from the Stage
is an independent production of the Calgary Philharmonic
Players Association. The opinions expressed here
are our own and do not reflect those of the Calgary
Philharmonic Orchestra. Our thanks to Nathan
Chandler for his technical expertise. The music
you heard on this episode was Paganini's 13th
Caprice, performed by John Gauchoy. On our next
episode in two weeks, I'll be talking with violist
Jeremy Baumann. Talk to you soon!