Bisexual coffee. It's only $7. It won't break the bank!
Sexual coffee. It's only $7.
Sitting sip your cup. Share both your joy and hollers.
Stay and drink your brew. Let's spill your tea.
You might be the asshole or a store teller like me.
Small town cafe with secrets blend with steam.
Voices rise and fall like rivers in a dream.
From heart breaks to triumphs, sales unfold.
Speak your truth. Let your courage be bold.
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This corner booth piece you'll find.
Whether you're the robor, say so tall.
In the warmth of coffee there's room for all.
Oh, there's a naughty reddit. There's a Christmas naughty reddit.
There's so much reddit out there. So this could be cut into it or it could just be cold open. I'm fine with that.
So there's this little birdie app. Not a sponsor. Could sponsor me if they want to. It's called Finch.
And every time I do something, I tell my little birdie, it's like, I did this. I did my exercise. I drank my water today.
I took my pills. I gave my cat pills. Like, you give it the list.
And then it gives you suggestions on what you want to do because of why you're there.
And some of the suggestions that it's given me is like, do five push-ups a day. Do five jumping jacks.
And for somebody who hasn't done a lot of exercising, that's a good start. And everything you do gives the birdie experience.
And then the birdie grows up from the baby bird to a toddler bird to a teenage bird to an adult bird.
Oh, that's really nice. Send me that app.
And you get to dress it up and you get to... It's stupid cute and I love it.
I used to do that too. There was a fitness app on my Apple Watch and I started out using that.
But now I do it so it's like a routine. I get up. That's the first thing I do is I go to the gym because my diabetes, man.
If I don't go, then it's like, I'll eat something and then my blood sugar, it's like a whole... For me, it's a whole cycle.
So if I go a couple of days without working out and then I eat, let's say I eat a cookie or something like that, it really makes me sick.
But if I'm working out and lifting weights and riding my bike and I can have a cookie with my salad and my juice and things like that, it doesn't affect my blood sugar as bad.
Yeah, you see, I've heard of that about people like actually making you feel bad.
For me, it's not... What my diabetes is doing is that it's just not using the sugar I'm putting into it.
And so to get energy, it saps it from my body and I can really...
Yeah, that's exactly what happens.
So, it helps the body use the sugar before it can start doing that and I'm up to... Unbidden, I'm up to 15 jumping jacks over just the last week
and then up to doing 18 push-ups, which I hate push-ups. I've always hated push-ups.
But you can do them?
Yeah. See, that's amazing. I can't and I exercise every day.
Well, I don't want to say I can't. I will in the future. How about that?
Potentially, I will.
So what brings me joy out of that? Seeing that little baby bird turn into a toddler bird because I'm taking care of myself.
So, welcome to Bisexual Coffee People where it's only $7 and it won't break the bank.
It's only $7 and it won't break the bank.
And of course, that's Edith. I say hi Edith.
Hi, it's Edith.
It is Edith. And it's me. It's me, Michael. We're here. We're waiting for our guests. Our guests should show up.
People are busy. We understand that not everybody can show up on time and, well, Dagnav it.
We wanted to be here with you and talk a little bit about the joy during the holidays.
Maybe tell some crazy holiday stories.
Yeah.
I'm excited about it.
Tell me about your best Christmas. Tell me about your most fun, happiest Christmas.
I've had a lot of good...
Hello, non-binary Sydney. Hello, baby.
Sydney.
How are you?
Happy holidays, baby.
How are you?
I love the hat. I love the hat. I was hoping one of us would have a Santa hat. I didn't have one laying around.
I don't have one, but I've got this. Hold on.
I do have a Christmas tree headband I could put on, I suppose.
I got something. Hold on.
Okay.
Watch.
While she transforms.
I love this hat.
Sydney, where did your camera go?
Oh, my camera's gone.
Here you are.
What do you think? Hello, my name is Edith.
I love it.
Please do your cosmetics.
Yes.
I got a pretty for the prettys.
I love it.
I got one from work and voice therapy and all that other stuff.
Excellent.
It's like the princess and the frog where she just takes that giant puff and just hits her face once and she's fine.
Yeah.
I love that.
I like the nail cala too, honey. It's fabulous.
Thank you.
Yeah.
And that's just the hair.
And the hair.
Awesome.
So I have a couple of different calibers of what I consider to be my best Christmas.
Okay.
Hold on. Make sure I'm okay.
Okay. So my best Christmas would be when I was a kid was when my parents were selling weed and boy, did they have the money.
Not only did they have a nine to five, but they're also selling weed on top of it.
And I didn't know any of that.
I just thought they were doing really good at the Felt factory in Walmart.
You know, I thought like they were just top of their class.
And they got me like, this is, this is when I get addicted to video games.
They get me a mountain, like a variable like pyramid of toys on top of the living room table that will not fit underneath the tree.
And I just tautle into the room.
Obviously gifts are there.
We had great meals like my parents were still about like cooking like awesome food.
The breakfast was tight.
Gifts were tight.
And then the Nintendo entertainment system came into my life at Christmas, complete with Super Mario 3, Super Mario 1 and Sky Shark,
which was me and my dad's favorite game to play until Contra came out.
I don't know if anybody here knows anything about NES.
Contra was a...
It me does. I don't.
Contra was top tier shooting games. Absolutely.
That was really good for my kid Christmas for my, for my adult Christmas.
I'd probably have to say the best one that I've had because I had a lot of good ones.
I've had some of that just kind of passed me by just because like maybe I had to work or something that day.
Because I've had had a couple of jobs that work on Christmas Day.
But I would say it would be the first time that I got with the in-laws in my current marriage.
We all went up there to Blairsville. I'm so nervous.
The in-laws.
Yeah, I had no idea what to expect.
You hear in-laws.
In-laws has such a stigma surrounding it, just the word in-laws.
I go up there.
The cabin is cozy.
It's filled full of people.
They had gotten nothing but good words from me, from my wife.
So they're ready to just say hello.
And I didn't realize how warm that hello was going to be and how family like, like,
I'm not going to say storybook family, but it's one of the best family dynamics that I've ever.
Welcoming.
Yeah.
And so that Christmas, I just sat in there and somebody, you know, everybody had a stocking.
We all sat around.
People were getting drunk off their ass.
It was just, it was just a fun time with a whole bunch of strangers that made me feel so much like not a stranger.
They pulled me in instantly.
So that was how it would be my...
So the Nintendo was the best gift?
Is that what's going to be my next question?
Sydney, you've got to answer that.
It was definitely the most life-shaping gift.
If I hadn't got that Nintendo when I did, would I still, would I make sure that I had a gaming system,
some kind of gaming system in my life at that point every year?
No, I don't know if I would, but it definitely was the most life-shaping gift.
It's hard to say what the best gift was, but I don't know.
I also have a horrible memory for that.
So it's Sydney's turn to recount things.
My turn.
Okay, so favorite Christmas and then best gift?
Yeah.
My favorite Christmas as a kid was probably when, probably say when we first got our first NES too.
Like I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to follow you on that one.
Because like me and my brother, like I remember like Christmas Eve and stuff.
We'd always replay the nativity scene and stuff when I was a kid and one of us had to play Mary.
The other one had to play Joseph, of course, you know, which one always.
And we got to open one present every year as kids.
And the one present that we picked just happened to be the SNES with Duck Hunt.
We got it taken away because we had to go to sleep for Santa, right?
And we would sneak out that night and we got into so much trouble because we were caught downstairs playing Duck Hunt for hours and hours and hours.
And my parents heard us when they got up at like four o'clock in the morning to put the presents out, right?
So that was probably one of my favorite as a kid.
As an adult, I'd have to say the first Christmas that I had with my daughter and my son.
So that would have been Christmas of 2006.
Just because it was like that's, I don't know if like there's something in me that when I was growing up, that was like the idea of what I really wanted.
Still kind of is like having a family and like we're all together and it was just amazing.
That was just that was probably my most tender one. But my favorite gift ever is actually I wonder if I've got.
I do have it right here. This one.
I still have it.
I do.
Atomic habits.
I had changed clear.
Wow.
My daughter gave me this because like we've been a little bit strange because of my addiction stuff.
But we started talking like before this past Christmas and she's like, what do you want for Christmas?
I was like, I was blown back and I'm like, get me a self help book and she actually spent like a lot of time researching this one.
And so she got me this one and I've read this probably like five, six times so far and it's really helped me out.
And it's really, really something special for me.
So because we're starting to rebuild those communication things.
That's great.
I think I've read that book and it's really good and it's like a blueprint on how to live an impeccable life.
Yeah.
Am I right?
Yeah.
I love that book.
It's an amazing book and I have it on Audible.
So I'll listen to it while I'm in my car.
Yeah.
Nice.
Whereas I am listening to fairy and face might while I'm driving around.
So, you know, teach your own.
Yeah.
You know, well, I have to agree with Sydney there.
I mean, I'm an addict in order to get myself.
I have to travel kind of straight and narrow and I need help being straight and narrow because I'm not really straight and I'm not really narrow.
Yeah.
So I've got like a plethora of those self help books.
But for me, my best Christmas.
Yeah.
My best Christmas was when.
And it's so probably inappropriate, but we would go to a restaurant called Sambo's.
Does anybody remember Sambo's?
Little black Sambo.
No.
There was a restaurant when I was growing up called Sambo's and my mom bought me a tiger.
Then my favorite gift was a tiger from this restaurant and it was underneath the Christmas tree.
I lost my shit.
It was just the coolest tiger ever.
And the story, I can't really remember the story.
It was a little black kid who lives in the jungle and he comes across a tiger and they become friends or something like that.
I don't remember.
So it's not the jungle book.
No, no, no.
It's even older than that.
Look, 55, y'all.
You're just a couple of young ins to me.
I mean, time's relatively than all that, you know, they say that time could just be a ball and it's all happening at once.
And this is the only way we can understand it.
Yeah, totally.
That's it.
Who knows?
Was it a stuffed tiger?
Was it a wooden tiger?
It was a stuffed tiger.
And it came with the book.
It came with the book.
I'll see if I can find it and I'll attach it to this episode, you know, up here somewhere or something.
Sure.
But yeah, that was just hands down the best gift.
The funniest gift.
You guys still have to do the funniest gift.
All right.
So the funniest gift was I was into self-help books even when I was a little kid.
All right.
So I gave my sister like five self-help books.
Oh, wow.
Five.
Yeah.
And she gave me a...
No, if this doesn't scream gay, queer, whatever, I give her these self-help books like, here, you need to come out.
You really need to work on yourself.
She gives me a shirt with an American flag on it.
We were nine, like, nine and 10.
Wow.
Yeah.
So, so bad.
So funniest gift, you say?
Funniest.
I don't know.
I don't...
There hasn't been a lot of, like, gag gifts or gifts that I would have found like, like, oh, this is hilarious.
Like, normally people when they give me gifts, it's always been like, like really good on the utilitarian thing because they realize that I might like look good in a particular jacket or hat.
That's how my in-laws shop.
Marley likes to go straight for the heart.
She bought me a book one time.
He had a book made one time of my travels to California with my brother.
I guess I'm surrounded by sentimental and very practical people.
No, no jokes.
Yeah.
It's not jokes.
It's always like, they're always just gifts.
It's like, oh, you're either going to love this.
This is going to pull in your heartstrings or, damn it, you're going to look dashing in it.
No white elephant party gifts.
The only white elephant party gifts that parties that I've ever been to have been like corporate related.
And so it's, yeah.
So, you know, it's at best maybe PG-13 if the gift is a little risque or funny, but it's all been in the spirit of just like Christmas party.
type situation.
So sorry, sorry to disappoint.
No, that's all right.
Sydney, come on.
Do you have anything like ideal?
So I used to work at and going to give a shout out to an area 51 in Salt Lake City, Utah, got the industrial club.
We got together for our Christmas parties and the one year I got what was it one of those gummy like penis gummy things.
And then also it was like a half a gallon of like lube and I don't know where they got it from.
But those were the those are probably the funniest ones that I've got.
That's a lot of damn.
That is a lot of lube.
I saw that in Key West.
There was a store in Key West where you could buy like a gallon at a time and I'm thinking, oh my God, no, no, no.
The work that it would take.
Yeah, like for for single like let's say let's say you're in a trouble.
Like that's still not enough people for you to justify a gallon of lube before it starts getting like weird by halfway through it.
Like, you know, like maybe some dust to settle in.
Yeah, it's it's just a hair at the top of the bottle.
You're going to have to go to the weekend at a PDD party.
It's fine.
That is true, right?
Good for you.
You beat me to it.
I was going to say like some kind of orgy maybe orchestrated by and then you were like, yep, you're you're in there.
Right in the pocket.
Good job, Sydney.
You did it.
I still haven't watched the documentary guys.
I can't.
Oh, I don't want to.
I can't.
I cannot bring myself to it.
I got enough through my Twitter feed and TikTok stories.
I was like, I'm good.
I don't need to know anything else.
There's a naked holiday Reddit.
I mean, of course there is.
I just I kind of accidentally jumped in there.
You know, they're like, I'm not going to do it.
And they're, you know, they show some, they show things.
Yeah, Reddit is more or less uncensored because like what they'll do is they'll ask a lot of places.
They'll ask us like, Hey, this is probably going to hit somebody's like all feeds.
So at least put like the blur sensor or they can click on it if they want.
Yeah.
In fact, I think probably pound for pound Reddit probably has more porn on it than Tumblr used to back in the day and porn's
getting back on Tumblr now.
But it's nowhere near.
I mean Reddit, you know, it used to be nothing at all for you.
at all for you to just click on there and then it was just boobs, pastics for days. I mean it was just
and I was like I'm so glad this is here. This is not what I'm looking for. Give me the means please.
It wasn't what I was looking for either. I want the means. I was looking Sidney. I was looking for a
funny story but I think do you have one? Do you have one? I mean I definitely have one. Okay.
There are all types of links. This one comes from a post on Ask an American. It was posted
four years ago and it's just let's hear your funniest Christmas stories. It's hard to search for
just like a single story. A lot of times it is asking people to put their stories in the comments
and that's when this one is the top one was not bad. It was not bad at all. A little bit of like
quick trauma for a kid that probably comes and that looks like he just disappears immediately.
My sister and I stayed up really late on Christmas Eve. We removed all of our youngest brothers
presents from under the tree and then we emptied his stocking. We stowed all the presents behind
the couch and we put all of the stocking stuffers in a bag. It was like eight at this time. We
meticulously wrapped and put bows on boxes to him. We filled all of them with charcoal briquettes
and q-tips. Still don't know why we chose q-tips. On Christmas morning he got to go first because
he's the youngest. Torn to his first box and his face just dropped. He went out and turned and
ripped out present number two only to find more coal and q-tips. He ran to the other room where
the stockings were dumped out. It was a plastic bag filled with charcoal and q-tips. He lost it.
My parents had no idea what we had done and I think my dad was ready to just beat us for
ruining Christmas. So my brother finally got uh my brother fatted together and we showed him where
we'd stashed all his toys and he was happy as hell after that. To this day probably 25 years later
I still get called the Christmas Grinch by my whole family. Everyone conveniently forgets how
complicit my sister was in this. Those presents didn't wrap themselves and I suck at wrapping.
Wow. Yeah, little story. Yeah. Is there any that you found Edith? Because if uh if not we can
like discuss these as we go on and I'll just like kind of finish out on this one for a couple more.
I have some experience on Reddit. I'm kind of newish to the whole Reddit thing. Okay. I have a
very different feed because all of my stuff is cooking right now. Oh yeah. Also have like some
like BDSM stuff but you know we're just trying to figure out how to intertwine those. So it's like.
The standard is is like a for you page right? Everything that you've clicked on that you followed
is like okay cool this is what you want more of but if you dare to scroll down to the bottom of
the options of everything else and just click r slash all it's a hot sweaty time in there. Also a
lot of weird. It is a hot sweaty time. A lot of weird political shit too but you know it is what it is.
All right. I can share this on TikTok. Please. I was with not TikTok clapper because when
TikTok was going out you know I guess you know people some people feel like it's not going to
stay and then there's some people that you know doesn't really matter. Well everybody that I know
went over to clapper so I went over to clapper. That thing is dark. There was one episode where
a father wrapped up cat food. His son and had his son unwrap the cat food. Well the little kid
started crying. Well why wouldn't you start crying? Right. I'm not a cat. Why did you do this to me?
I know right. I'm not a cat. That's what I was thinking. We have a lot of the adults that are
what an incredible little boy and that's what I don't like about clapper. Adults tend to forget
what it's like to be a kid to have like the expectation and wonder that something's going
to be like awesome that day and then your rug gets pulled right out from it. It's built up. It's like
you know. So yeah that's again it is just a mark of adults forgetting how to be kids which
sucks you know. You hate to see somebody just become a car mudgeon especially around the end
of the year holidays whether you celebrate Christmas or or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or you just get
together with family because that's what everybody does. Well I can tell you what I'm doing for
Christmas. I am. I'm working. I'm making $50 an hour working. Yeah that makes sense. Yeah I just
rather work. My company is off for a week and I realized that the closest that we got closer that
we got to it that I wasn't using my pay time off and so it used it to fill out the four-week
work days before then so I've effectively given myself two full weeks off. Merry Christmas to me.
Cool. What about you? What about you? I am going to be sitting around and working all the time.
Yeah me too. But that's okay. I'm happy with it. I'm happy with it. The whole capitalism like my
brother lives in Portland Oregon so I'm going to send them a card and then my roommate is leaving
for a couple of weeks up north so there's that and he'll get his present when you know when he gets
home. That's it. I'm just going to work and sleep and ride my bike and eat too much. And stay away
from stores because those places are going to be a freaking nightmare. Oh yeah no. I got on the road
to go get my cat some food and it's nutty because everybody's out after work shopping.
Yeah. Yeah. Trying to squeeze it in because I don't know if you guys heard this. There's a lot
of retail stores that they're not just leaving it up to their local managers if they're going to
close. They are like mandating a full nationwide closure and that includes I know two of them
right now and I could probably find more but Dollar General which they didn't used to mandate
that all their stores closed but they're doing that this year and Walmart. They're not leaving it
up to the local managers anymore. All the Walmart's will be closed which a lot of them were already
closed or at least had like severely limited hours but they're just the whole of the 25th.
They're all going to be closed so people I think are getting wind of that and they're all
they're going to Lancy. They're starting to fill out the stores right now. Well what about Black
Friday? Did anybody do Black Friday? Nope. Nope. Me either. I didn't go online and also we're
trying to we're trying to hold on to money man. We got it. We got a we're looking at new insurance
straight up adult problems over here. Yeah. We're not buying a lot of extra stuff.
You know but that's a lot of people. Yeah. That is a lot of people so I don't feel bad about that
at all. No. It'd be interesting to see when Black Friday dies because the hype around it
is becoming more and more cynical with every year that it hits. No one needs a television anymore.
Right. As I posted it I posted it in my blue sky and it was the most light
thing that I've put up so far. I've only been over there for like a little bit but
and those of you who don't know blue sky is basically an older an older feel of what Twitter
used to be before it became the mismatch of like ads and greed and everything that was on there.
Now there will be ads later but right now I'm enjoying it without ads but I put on there no
I don't know I just put random names. No Darren. I don't want another damn flat screen TV for Black
Friday. Call me when meat goes down 70% because I'll be there to wreck your aisles.
People were like yeah this guy knows what's up. No one needs to deviate.
Give me some cheap protein. That's all I need man because for some reason if it's not go hell
even nuts are going up in price too man just all forms of protein so. Food and snacks are all
going up. The produce aisle is doing okay right now for what I'm getting because I don't get
anything overly complicated. It's normally like for servings that we need for a week is like only
like two or three dollars per like group of whatever vegetable I'm getting but I digress.
This one is there's a little it's a little scatological okay but you know it wasn't funny.
It's a story that they say that it wasn't funny at the time but now it's super hilarious and will
always be forever known as a Christmas surprise. So let me set the stage real quick. My family always
goes to Christmas Eve Mass and then we come home and we exchange our secret Santa gifts between
siblings. It's a tradition at this point. There's a lot of us my two sisters my brother parents my
grandparents and my sister's fiancee so we're all in multiple cars. Mass is ended and I left with my
oldest sister and her fiancee to go back home. The others were several minutes behind us.
Another important thing we have two small dogs a Chihuahua and a terrier mix. We put in small
cages when we leave the house. So my sister her fiancee and I get back and as soon as we walk in
the door we're bombarded with the smell of hot poop. It's so pungent that my eyes are watering.
Definitely in my top 10 worst things I've ever smelled. No idea how long the poop had just been
sitting there but it was long enough that the entire house smelled like shit. It was like we
were choking on it. I could God they just keep going. They're talking about how bad it is.
There's like four more sentences. I'm not reading all that. I mean not even that. So the three of
us are just yelling and freaking out at the smell. The house alarm is going off because we forgot to
turn it off when we walked in. The dogs are barking to be let out of their cages like they always do
because they know we just got home. So I go over and obviously the smell is getting worse the closer
we get to them. I'll let the terrier mix out of his cage first because he's completely clean.
The Chihuahua on the other hand well poop in his cage. He had full blown explosion. His doggy bed
was soaked. It had leaked into the hardwood floors. It had exploded onto the walls. The small white
Chihuahua had practically rolled in it and he's sopping wet. His fur is stained and he's just
sitting there barking at me wiggling like crazy. So happy that I'm home and slinging shit everywhere
because he wants to be let out of his cage. It's so bad. And I'm just sitting there in my dress
and heels. I'm really trying not to throw up and trying to figure out how I can let him out of his
cage without letting him drag the liquid poop all over the house and the furniture. Oh my god. Okay.
I gotta get my diet. I want to keep chucking. My mind keeps bouncing. So my fist. My sister finally
gets to the back door yelling potty. Gotta go potty. Since that's our dog's excuse to just run
straight outside. Luckily the little poo mop went straight out the door and so we didn't drag
poo all over the place. There were just a few drops on a straight trail to the back door and it
could have been much worse. The cage, the floor, the wall. They're just destroyed. Do you know
I can taste it now? I think we've all experienced bad dog poop in a localized situation. Oh yeah.
And one day I'll regale you with my story. We're not going to keep going with the poop
story after this one but we're almost done. If you've ever seen the scene from bad grandpa
where he sharts on the wall then you can picture exactly what kind of mess we're staring at. But
this wasn't a prank. They just want to make sure that you, they just want to make sure it's all
shit. It's all on the walls and I'm the one that has to clean it up. So I'm the one who loves animals
so much that I want to work at a vet. So naturally I get stuck with all the gross jobs as practice.
Also because I'm the only one besides my mom who doesn't freak out and throw up when uh,
when, uh, when, uh, when close and personal with doggy poo or other nasty stuff. I'm still the
one who cleans all that up. Anyway, the first thing I did was just toss out the entire bed.
It was so not, not worth saving. I threw out the food bowl, the water dish, and I had to use an
entire paper towel roll to stop up the hardwood flooring cage. Don't forget, I'm doing this with
my bare fucking hands because I can't find any rubber gloves. I had to drag the cage away from
the wall so I could get close enough to clean it. But in my haste to clean everything up,
I forgot that liquid poo can spread underneath the cage. No. So of course I just spread this
poo further along the floor. I don't know how I've been able to avoid that, however. So my
fiance quickly carries the cage outside so it could be hosed off and that makes more shit drop
onto the floor between the cages in the back door. I'm so focused on cleaning the epicenter of this
disaster that my sister opens up the floor trail where I'm still focused on it. My sister cleans
the floor trail where it dribbled and I finally get the wood floor completely wiped up and disinfected
with floor ox so I can get closer to the wall without putting my heels or god forbid my bare feet
in diarrhea. Then I start wiping it off the walls. Surprisingly, it didn't stain or tint the white
paint brown. So at least there's that. Now at this point, I have been cleaning up shit for a solid 10
to 15 minutes. I didn't have to be the one that bathed the poop dogs since everyone agreed I had
done more than my fair share. Mom had to go outside and pick them up with an old bath towel and carry
them straight to the tub and I spent five minutes furiously scrubbing my hands with soap. I'm
imagining like Mcbeth, Lady Big Meth, ouch damn spot. I'm cleaning it up with my bare hands and it
got all over me but I was lucky that none of it had gotten onto my dress. None of it got on the dress
or my heels. So yeah, that's the infamous 2015 Christmas surprise. Hopefully it made somebody
laugh. Looks like it did. Oh my face hurts. Yeah, it's still a nightmare. It's still a nightmare
when I think about it. That's good. That was a good long story and that's the Christmas joy that I
bring to you guys. Oh my god. Look. Small body, such massive volume is all I'm thinking. I can smell
it. I can taste it. I can feel the heat. Just what a well written. They did great. They came into
slay with their words and they did a great job. They did a great job. Oh my god. It's the second
favorite post on there and I think the only reason it isn't more is because some people,
even if it is in a humorous situation, some people just, you know, they hear dog poop and
like, I don't want to hear about that. Oh come on. Dogs are awesome. Live with this person's misery.
Commiserate with them. That's important. So yeah, I feel like we've all had much better
Christmases than that. Hopefully, that was 2015. So they've had nine years to get better Christmas.
Eight years coming up on the ninth. Well, to recover from the smell too. I mean, that takes a while.
Just to purge back from your memory. I haven't had a dog in a while. So I don't want this episode
to be about dog poop. But I mean, I feel like these are now a story in the forefront of my mind.
The worst time that we moved into an old trailer that was basically just a tin can painted blue
and it was warm outside and while we were gone, our medium sized like yellow Labrador mud mix
got into some chocolate donuts and proceeded to repaint the carpet that we had in the middle
of the floor. It was a nice new carpet too. Like we were really happy that we got it was a house
warming gift. And again, like I said, it was really warm outside. So all it did was bake. It was
horrible. And so yeah, that's I think that's where my memory of that smell came along with that story
too. That started like creeping up in my nose. I got a story. I ate it. I got it. Edith has a story
about poop and it was at Christmas time. And so my ex-husband has a restaurant that's called
Mima's Alaskan Tacos and it is in Ebor City in Tampa. And I got to work there and mind you,
it was all men at the time and only me. Well, we serve beer and we would be open until four
o'clock in the morning. We'd get everyone nice and drunk, fill their bellies full of tacos and
nachos and beans. Okay. And then they would proceed to go into our bathroom. During the holiday,
somebody went in there and just I'm going to say it, just shit. Just fill the toilet full of
shit to the point and then they must have been in there flushing and flushing and flushing until
it just like billowed, billowed out of the commode and it came into the kitchen. And do you know
who all those lovely men looked at to clean up that mess? Of course. Me. Yeah. The woman. I'm the
nurse. Yeah. I deal with it all the time. You used to shit all the time. So I did clean it up. I
sure did. I was in there for two hours. And I'll tell you, that's the last time I worked at Mima's
Alaskan Tacos. Holy hell. I didn't want the, what do they call it? Shit with the shit can job?
Yeah. That's exactly what that was at that point. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. I wish for everybody
better Christmases than both of those. Let's do a hard pivot before another shit story comes into
our minds. Hold on. Before we do, I hope everyone has a less shitty Christmas. God, God, joke.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's a good gap. So we've got about 20 minutes and I feel like
that's a good time for either one of us, maybe like eight minutes, nine minutes at a time.
That math doesn't work out. To talk about just a couple of things, maybe two things,
I think two would be good and explain why. What's sparking joy in our life right now? And not just
because of holiday joy, you know, the stuff that we get because of nostalgia, you know, the lights,
the colors, the temperatures dropping, depending on where you live. Sometimes you don't even feel
that dropping like right now it's, it was 66 degrees here in Georgia and just wet and gross. But
it was wet and gross. Yeah, two things that that spark joy that aren't necessary holiday related,
something that's making you actually feel that moment of, you know, your, your face lights up
because this is happening or you've received a certain thing and Sydney, since you're the
guest, you get to go first. Cool. So I guess like two things that are kind of really, really
bringing me a lot of joy is I have now kind of not been on the market, but also kind of on the
market. I'm getting this dude from down in St. Petersburg, Florida, and he has been super
awesome and super healthy and brought a like a lot of like challenging things to my life to be able
to keep me on track so I can grow. And we also have like really deep, deep conversations. And
he's got like the right kind of sexuality with me and everything else is just flowing perfectly.
So I'm really, really excited. It's new. It's like less than a month, but I mean, things are going
really, really well. I like the healthy part of it. Yeah. So I'm from St. Petersburg. What's
not great about that? Exactly. Eden says hi from Tampa. I definitely will. Yeah. I know he's been
begging for the link. So I'm going to make sure he gets it because he wanted to send the other ones.
Yeah. And then what else? Yeah, one more. My kiddo graduated basic training. Hey, excellent.
So yeah, following in my footsteps and he's doing good. So I got to go see him graduate and
got to get out to California, which was really awesome last month and got to sit by the beach
with him. And it was all around good. So it's those are my two joyful things that I really,
really enjoyed having in my life. That's amazing. Yeah, that's good news. Getting out of boot camp.
So what's going to be, is it called an MOS in the Marines? I'm not, I don't know. Okay. So yeah,
what's his MOS? So as of right now, it's technically an engineer. He did injure himself. So he's
got to heal up. And then as long as like the healing and the schooling time, start time,
match up, then he can still do that. But also if it doesn't match up, then he may get reassigned
and go somewhere else. We're not sure yet. Okay. Well, I mean, he passed. He's in there.
You know, yeah. Yeah. He's in the system now. That's awesome. And since I asked the question,
I guess it's Edis turn out. Wow. So, you know, I've been traveling for the past few years,
and I've been really, really looking for myself. And I have to say in this past month, what really
has brought me joy is not being an ego. I don't have to be an ego anymore. I don't,
I don't feel like I'm constantly trying to figure myself out, or I'm trying to quit something, or
or somebody's screwing me over, or I've got to, I've got to, you know, I mean, ego is just such
an awful, awful place to be. And especially I speak up for myself now. I haven't. Yes. Thank you,
Sydney. Thank you, Michael. I speak up for myself and I say what I mean and I mean what I say,
and I say how I feel. And especially at work, I have to tell you this little story. Please do.
That, you know, some of the aids like to give me shit. They are little ghetto queens, and I get that.
And normally I just blow through it and I don't say a word and they keep up their crap, right,
throughout the whole shift. And it makes me uncomfortable. This last time, this last couple
of times, I said, don't test me, do not test me, do not disrespect me. I am here to help you and
you're here to help me. And that is it with our relationship. We are not friends. We're not
girlfriends. I'm not your mother. I'm not here to take a beating for you. Oh, yeah. So I've never
done that. And I got mad respect from them for doing that. They cleaned up their act and they
helped me. And I'm there. I'm there for you. I'm there. I'm here to help you. Why are you making
this so tough? Yeah, why are you turning away health? It's ridiculous. Yeah, exactly. So
does that bring me joy? Yes. Standing up for myself brings me such joy. My addiction. That
brings me joy for you. It really does. Yeah, I know, you know, I smoke a little bit at bedtime
to help me just kind of go to sleep, but I don't smoke during the day anymore. The sugar, I limit
it. I haven't cut it completely out, but I limit it. And before I was a sugar addict. So what brings
me joy now is waking up in the morning, exercising and riding my bike. What two wonderfully holistic
joys that you have found in yourself that like literally start from within and start manifesting
without. That's awesome. Yeah, that is really cool. Yeah. Thank you, Sydney. Thank you. All right. So
I've done that thing where I've asked a question and then let the other people go to give me enough
time to think about my answers. The first thing that has brought me an immense joy and I've seen
it kind of culminate over the last few days. And that is making friends with this guy named Ryan
Bray back in 2008, 2009. Quick story about how we met. We met at Arby's. Okay, we're introduced. We
both realized that we both have kind of like the same kind of personality when it comes to meeting
each other, like talking to people, the way that we put ourselves out there. And we just melded
from there almost immediately. It wasn't long before he was a roommate with me and my wife.
And, you know, he kind of grew up from teenager to young adulthood with us, like late teenager 19,
like that team. And we were, because I was like 23 at the time, so it's not like we were like,
like a large anyway, we wind up putting out videos on MySpace silly little videos that have like
large overarching stories. He taught me how to paint. I wound up going to like his house for
Christmas a couple of times, became friends with some of his friends, flash forward like years later.
He's introducing me to the guy who that we didn't know at the time was going to talk to me into
writing my first book. And then this guy whose name is Tade Davis, wonderful guy. I am now LinkedIn
with his live D&D show and also maybe working on a few other projects with him as well. And
after our last show, we're sitting there and having dinner, like almost 11 o'clock, eating Mexican
food because that's the best food to eat at 11 o'clock at night. And the guy who's sitting next
to me, I recognize him because I've been over to some Tade Davis's friends giving events and I
recognize the guy who couldn't remember his name. He said, Oh, my name is John. And I know about
comic books. I'm with Richard's Comics. Richard's Comics is the one shop that Ryan goes to every
comic book year, every comic book day, once a year to go draw for people like sketch for people and
hand out his comics for free. And so I was like, Okay, so I know Richard's Comics. I was like,
What's your last name? So the guy says his last name. And I'm like, Ryan Bray talks about you
all the time. So, Ryan's been such an integral part of my life, even though we don't, there's
periods where we just don't talk. But he has been, it's been a joy to watch his family grow. It was
a joy to grow with him and the art and friendship and brotherhood that we have. So that man right
there, one of the biggest points of joy in my life right now. That's beautiful. And then the other one,
and this is silly, stupid, and wonderful. And it is the sheer amount of rubber ducks that are coming
to me. Recently, I don't know if you guys know this, but I collect rubber ducks. I don't seek them
out. When I when I find them, or if they if people give them to me, that's cool. But I don't seek
them out. I don't like go to a store is like, All right, this is the day I'm buying five ducks. No,
when they come across and they're reasonably priced, or God forbid, sometimes they're free,
because they're not even supposed to be there. Like one time there was a gold duck just sitting
in a display that was left over from an old display in a bath and body works. And I asked
them was like, How much is that duck? I was like, Here, have the duck. I'm like, Yes.
And a friend of mine just recently bought me a rubber duck advent calendar. And I'm on day 10.
And as soon as we get done with this, I'm filming me opening up the 10th one.
And rubber ducks and brotherhood people. I love it. We all sound like we're doing good.
I love it. We checking in with each other and it's going to be a great Christmas. And Sydney,
you bring me joy. That story about you and your friend from St. Petersburg. That is just
that is great. I'm so happy for you. Merry Christmas, my friend.
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to both of you. And to just keep piling on top of Sydney,
you're looking good. Thank you. And it's not just, you know, it's not just what you do to your face,
but also the shape of your face. You can tell there's some health in it, Matt.
Yeah. And happiness. I see the joy. We do love to see that.
Yeah. I have to ask a question and we can cut this out if you don't want to talk about it on
the podcast. What happened to your channel? So when I was out in Coronado.
Take our channel specifically. Yeah. So when I was out in Coronado with my son,
we were done at San Diego. I hooked up with a buddy of mine that I served with and I served with him
like almost almost my entire eight years. And we had a lot of discussion about social media and
like what kind of presence I'm having on there. We also had like a lot of discussion about how
much time that's been taking out of my life and a lot of anxiety and stuff like that. Oh, wow.
There's been since I started that channel, there's been like a couple of different
evolutions of what I've kind of portrayed and like this weird journey thing, but also like me
getting lost and stuff. Yeah. And he said that social media from his perspective really kind of
screwed me over with a lot of things and like my journey and where I need to be versus where I am.
So I talked with my son and he said that he stopped following me on certain social media stuff
because like, I don't know, for whatever reason, there were certain things that was wearing on
him too. So I didn't want to put that kind of toxic stuff that was out there already. So I took
everything down. We're reassessing a lot of stuff. We're growing a lot. I'm going through a lot of
different changes with therapy and with the substance abuse trip program and stuff which
I'm almost done with. But I'm just taking some time to like kind of regroup and put all of my
put everything where I need it to be. So if I'm going to relaunch when I do relaunch,
it's going to be something that's truly authentically me, not just the version of me that
is one day really hurt and sad and painful and then the next day is something else.
Like I'm going to have the idea of what I am and who I am versus the mess that has been.
Wow, that's, I'm hearing a real butterfly, chrysalis metaphor, metaphorical
manifestation. Nope, that's not it. Metamorphosis.
Metamorphosis. Okay.
It's definitely that I am doing now instead of talking about, I mean, because of the,
and I will edit this part out, but because of the bipolar disorder and the ADHD and all
and the autism and things that I had to deal with being an addict. Now that I am telling myself,
you know what, I'm a whole person. I am a whole person and I don't have to talk about my addiction
every single day and I don't have to talk about how I'm addicted to people or addicted to the
perspectives of people. Now what I need to be doing is focusing on my fitness, focusing on
preparing, I'm going because I am, I'm newly found Jewish. I was born, my parents brought me up as
Baptist and in a Baptist cult and denied anything to do with being Jewish. Didn't bring me up to
be Jewish at all. Right. Brought me up to be Baptist. So I'm going to the Camino in Santiago,
Spain to do a pilgrimage walk, to embrace being Jewish. I'm also going to Auschwitz and I'm going
to Berlin. I'm all, I'm going to London and I'm going to Paris and I'm going to Jewish monasteries
while I'm there to meet other Jewish people. I am feeling a little emotional because I...
That's why I suggest you actually leave this in because this is really good.
Yeah, it's better than you think it is. It's good to see this.
I think you're, I think you're going to like to see it too.
Well, it's hard. It's hard to be something I never, never even understand. No one's even
talked to me about it or they just brought me up as someone else. I'm not that person. I have so
much love in my heart and I thank you both so much for being here. I'm really, I go through so much
identity crisis and it's nice now to finally know who I am. Yeah. Thank you. So thank you.
Hey, you're welcome. I'm so proud of you. I'm so excited for you too. This is awesome.
That is, that is, you, you have, I have seen you open up before like any attempt to share with somebody
and everything, but I don't think you really like reach down so far that you hit your biggest nerve
before. You know what I'm saying? Like you're doing, this is, this is wonderful. I, oh God,
I wish I was there because whenever anybody cries, my first instinct is to like, like dad hug somebody.
You know, it's like, oh, come here. Yeah. Well, I'm telling you, I love you too. I love you both
so much. I, I'm so glad I could be with you both and share with you both because I know you
genuinely care. Sydney, you, you're going through it. You've gone through it and you know what it's
like to be in an ego where you're like, no, I'm this person and then the next person, the next
minute you're like, no, I'm this person and then no, I'm this person. No, I'm Edith. I'm going to be,
my name is Edith Ivey Rosenblatt. It's a nice Jewish name. I love it and I can't wait to have it
legally changed. People don't believe it. It's on your hat. It is. Hello. Hello. My name is Edith.
Love it. So on that note, I'm all poopery now. Yeah. On that nice warm and wet note that doesn't
have to do with anything dog related. It's not hot poop. Poop. God, that word will never not be
funny. They all say that it's not and it is. It is funny. Damn it. All right. Well, I think that
was a good. I think it was a good episode. Good holiday episode, guys. Yeah. It was a lot of fun.
We did it. Thank you. Not a problem. And I guess that's it. So I guess it's.
Word to your mom. There it is. Bye. Bye.
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