The following episode contains discussions about racial and gender equality that do not
necessarily reflect the views of bisexual coffee podcast.
Listener and viewers discretion are advised.
I was walking to the bank teller machine at about the three year point of this relationship
that we're talking about with Tessa was her name.
And we fought on the way to the bank.
We fought about her father's answering machine.
And I will bore you with the details of the components of that fight by giving you the
topic.
And that's what we thought from the condo down to the hotel room down to the bank.
And after we got finished with the bank, I turned to Tessa and I said, you know, Tessa,
we should pray.
And she's she's kind of grumpy, right?
Why should we pray now?
What are you talking about?
We should pray to God that we have an argument like this every single day because and that
it only be this type of thing because if this is the only thing we have to argue about,
we are blessed.
And I gave her a nice long list of all the things people fight about generic stuff.
And I said, we thought about your dad's answering machine.
And it's our first fight, our first disagreement.
This is a moment to pray.
I want to pray.
I want to thank God for this relationship.
Right at the moment, it's at it worse because it's a fight about an answering machine.
And she laughed.
If that was the end.
That's not going to swing.
That's going to swing.
I'm not even going to lie.
Yeah, we did not pray.
Well, you know, I have to say, let me say, so there's a Disney film with this character
that is like a flame, hotheaded flame.
You know what I mean?
It's it's what is it called?
It's not.
Yeah, element.
And so element.
Yes.
Yeah.
So my partner now is like that.
That's his communication style.
And I didn't understand it.
Michael knows.
I'm like, what the fuck?
This guy, it really aggravated me in the beginning.
And now I get it because we're both working together and he's brought the volume down
to make it not so intense because when I'm in the emergency room or at the hospital or
working in the nursing home, wherever I am, it is so loud and people are exhibiting behaviors
and they don't they don't have the ability to communicate effectively.
So when I come home, I need to be able to.
Be compressed, compressed.
Yeah.
So what you did and what he's doing now is it's diffuse.
It diffuses things.
It just kind of, wait a minute, look at this moment that we have together and look at how
awesome it is.
Really?
Yeah, because yeah, we're arguing, but so what?
It's all together.
An awesome argument moment when you realize you compare yourself, comparing is important
sometimes, then you realize the depth of seriousness or not of things.
One of those arguments that I was talking about, one of the worst arguments we had
that lasted like at least like three hours of us just like saying things, but not really,
I don't think listening as much.
We just both have like stress and stuff we had to get off.
And I didn't realize how much I had to get off until she was complaining that I put
up my television setup right now.
I have a flat screen TV on an extended stand and there's a place for my stereo and everything
and I take great joy in setting up my stereo system.
And so I did that.
I was very happy and then I sent a picture of it and she just sent me three dots as
a response and then she comes home and she goes, why, why did you do this?
Why didn't you wait for me?
This is something you didn't have to do it by yourself.
I'm like, I know I didn't have to do it by myself, but I wanted to do it by myself.
That was the seed that started just like this throw out.
We were yelling and like, I don't understand.
And by the end of it, she says something like completely out of left field.
Hey, think about all the stuff that we could have done if we weren't sitting here arguing.
And that was like something snapped inside of me thinking, you caused all this.
And I was just sitting there.
I was raging and I went, and then I started laughing.
And then she started laughing.
It was the first time I think I'd ever had like such a real like passionate conversation
without having to worry about which one was right at the time.
We were both just, just letting that go.
So it's funny about laughter.
It can kill rage.
Yeah.
Yeah, it can.
It can.
We've got a little more time.
I wanted this to go a little bit longer than our hour.
And there are two things that I wanted to ask when it comes to your relationship with
your relationships in general, when you said that there were mostly all, if not all from
Tessa on from the Philippines.
Am I getting that right?
All but one.
Yeah.
Okay.
To hold you to what you were saying that if you were in France, it would be mostly French
women.
And if you were anywhere else to be that, how much time are you spending in the Philippines
to justify that mentality and not maybe find somebody who is already acclimated to America
and kind of knows our horrors already?
Oh, good question.
And let's exclude the one example, one woman that I dated briefly that, because it was
so brief in all of this that was an American girl, will exclude her from the generalities.
Each relationship I had, one for eight years, one for three and a half years, one for four
years, one for four years, almost four years, back to back and engaged with each one of
them and married none of them.
I spend 125 days minimum in the Philippines per year.
Oh, so you're still doing that?
Yeah.
Well, no, I stopped at the pandemic.
Okay.
I never did.
Got it.
Because here's the answer to your question.
I've never been to the Philippines without already having established a relationship.
I have never, but one time, left the Philippines without a committed long-term relationship.
And that was the last time I left.
So I felt I had no reason to go back.
I have a ticket and I keep moving it.
I generally leave in March.
And my buddy said to me, and I was preparing, I was leaving, I was a couple of months, and
he says to me, I'll never forget this moment.
It was like, oh yeah.
He says, Marge, have you ever gone to the Philippines not being hitched?
And that was his word.
And I said, no, no.
I gave that thought.
Now, why am I going to the Philippines to see my condo, to see a few of my friends?
No, I'm not going.
And I never returned.
So my relationships have started and ended in the Philippines.
They've ended all for the same reason.
They will marry me on the day we break, each one of these relationships.
On the day we break up, I do the breaking up because they won't move from the Philippines.
Full time.
They will not come.
Each one has a different story.
And then there's a subsidiary exception.
One did come.
But you have to get into the weeds.
The bottom line is none of them will live here permanently.
Why don't they like the United States?
That goes to the misconception that I was going to get distracted on earlier.
There's a misconception in the Philippines that these desperate Filipino poor women want
to come to America.
Well, guess what?
That's not actually a misconception.
A lot of people have heard that.
I don't date.
And I learned within a few months.
It was just a decision I made.
I was in the Philippines, not a few months, a few days, a few days, and I can go into
that story why in a few days in the Philippines, I learned I will not associate, let alone
date, poor Filipino women, economically deprived women, not going to have lunch with them.
I'm not going to meet them.
I'm not going to converse with them.
It's pretty extreme.
But I learned it as a result of something very extreme.
I'll sum it up with the end story.
We'll get the punchline.
I'm sitting in my suite with Romeo Vincent, who had his own suite, but we're sitting in
my suite.
And I said, Romeo, these girls that I'm meeting.
Yes, boss, this guy is arranging this.
I said, Romeo, we're like on day eight or nine.
I kind of liked that girl, Alex.
Why must I keep meeting different women everywhere we go every day?
You have some woman showing up, this one shows up, this one shows up, then another one shows
up.
And he said, boss, something like, I'm going to make it up.
I don't remember the line.
Variety is the spice of life.
But I remember my answer.
My answer was wait, Romeo, ready for this one?
You're married.
Maybe you need variety or you had it to find your wife.
I'm ready for marriage.
I don't need variety.
I met this girl, Alex.
What happened to her?
He picks up his phone while I'm sitting on my bed.
He's sitting on the other bed in the room and he does a text.
We're talking, I don't know, two minutes.
She'll be here for dinner.
I said, how did you do that?
I talked to whoever the person was.
Right.
I had a guy for that.
Yeah.
I said, well, this is all strange.
But whatever, it's the Philippines.
He briefed me on the peculiarities of the country.
So whatever, I just accept these things.
And I met Alex.
But I learned that all of these women are poor.
They're looking for a handout.
They're looking for money.
They're looking for gifts.
They're looking for marriage.
I'm not even really sure at what level beyond money it gets to.
And someone was paying for them to be with me.
This sounds awfully like you, your guy, Romeo, knew a pimp.
Yeah.
Well, it turned out it wasn't a guy.
I said a guy.
I thought it was this guy.
Yeah.
This, I, it turns out it was a lady named Mommy Grace.
Oh, she sounds interesting.
Great name.
That person needs to be in her books.
She renewed her friendship on my Facebook a few years ago.
She's pretty well silent, but yeah, I let her in.
But I met her once, but the poor, maybe twice, but the, I said, we'll meet this person.
So that's a, you know, there's a number of stories there.
But the bottom line is I put an end to it.
I said, you know, I met this nice girl.
Somebody introduced me to this guy, this economic advisor to the president, and he introduced
me to this nice, long lady and I want to see her.
So I evolved away from this Alex, which I thought was the option.
And I went to Tessa, you know, that's how love began and how I learned my lesson.
And I later watched all these videos, all these social media accounts of men in Philippines
meeting all these women.
And I thought that kind of disgusts me.
It's not me.
It's so meaningless, but that, you know, that's who I am.
I don't think that's how most men are, but you know, I'm just, it can only be who I am.
There you go.
I could ask you questions on questions when it comes to like the relationships and why
you called them all off.
And I would love to have you back on and talk more about that.
But I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about my experience when I came to finding out who
you were.
And I mean, there's, there's stories, there's articles, there's all types of interesting
things.
The first thing that I came across though was your Facebook page, which recently has
some changes, there's some things on there that aren't on there anymore, like videos
and whatnot.
Hold on.
Are you sure you're talking about Facebook, right?
Yes, I am talking about Facebook.
Okay.
So you know, if you're not my friend on Facebook, you cannot see any daily post or pictures
at all.
You only see the few posts and pictures I make public during the course of a year.
And that might be, I'll make up a number eight or nine when I actually post one to three
to six times a day, but you can't see any of that.
My public Facebook is very different than my private one.
4,000 people there.
I've met every one of them in person, but for 47, I think is the number now.
If you send me a friend request, you'll be 48, but 4,000, you know, approximately I've
met them all, real friends.
And so most of those, but, but the public one, I know what it looks like.
I, I, I look at it now and then from a public standpoint.
It is very different than once you actually get in there.
Just so you know that.
Okay.
No, no, no, no judgments.
This is, I'm seriously coming in, in this from, from a curiosity thing, curiosity standpoint
as it were.
When I first found your Facebook, you had a series about four or five, and I'm guessing
this is after the Tik Tok said, I'm sorry, you can't be here with the rest of us where
you were doing some Facebook videos and they were advice geared to people who may be having
problems with their relationship.
And some of the videos from the ones that I saw, I didn't get a chance to see them all
that seem to have asked or tell women about how men perceive them or at least how they
should present themselves.
And I'm wondering while you were doing that, while you were making those videos and saying
about the solidity of their sexuality or anything else that you were bringing up in those videos,
did you ever think about the other side of the coin and how men are seeing them?
Like have you ever put out advice for the men perspective on how you are feeling when
you see these people?
May I ask you one question before I answer that?
Not a problem.
I hate people that ask a question with it, but I want to be clearer on the Facebook.
I have a Facebook account.
I think it's called Dear Marcus Allen and it's public and it has a bunch of videos.
I pretty well dropped the ball on that after a few videos, never was interested in it.
But my real Facebook account is Marcus Allen Frishman, my full name.
Are we talking about the Marcus Allen Frishman account that would have periodically a video?
Are you talking about this Dear Marcus Allen dead account that I actually only loaded videos
to for some short period of time?
This was one that looked like it had a video that posted up in either August or September
and the last time that I looked at the Facebook, I don't think the video is available right
now.
It may not be public anymore.
That's interesting.
Keep in mind, I invite you to join my Facebook, Marcus Allen Frishman, not the one for my
dog, not the one called Dear Marcus Allen, not the dead, the dead, you know, I don't
use, but they're there, I guess.
All right.
To answer your question, if you could be more specific on the actual video, because I don't
want to...
Let's see.
I can actually pull up the...
Give me a second.
Because all of those videos were from my heart.
They were from my really deep beliefs.
Sure.
No, you seem very convicted.
You seem very convicted of what you were saying.
It was interesting to watch somebody put themselves out like that.
It didn't put me off anything.
It made me curious on talking with you and just getting to know you.
Excuse me while I try to find that right now while I just...
Oh, sure.
I know a video.
The beauty of you doing this is you can edit all this wasted time out.
Oh, wait.
Look, you don't sweat the small stuff, Marcus Allen.
Don't sweat it.
I want to focus on this video that he's talking about.
Okay.
So I can tell you one, Marcus.
I can tell you one because you know I watch all your videos.
But I watch them with an eye.
So I've been through a lot as a kid.
So I understand why a lot of women would feel the way they do or like, why are you saying
that?
So there was a video where when you're with a man and he does this look.
Oh.
Look.
The one about looking at the woman at the beach?
Yeah.
Look, I'm all for it.
Like if my partner looks at another woman, it's not out of lusty grossness.
Oh, yeah.
Look at the other...
The looking at the other woman video.
That is one of the videos.
It's not the one I have, I think.
It's not the one you have, but in the meantime, I'll comment on that.
Yeah.
Comment on that.
And then I found the transcript.
So we'll go over that.
Okay.
So I think it's obvious on that one.
Women are generally...
And this should not be perceived as a woman-man thing, but women and men, I'll put it that
way, are jealous.
Jealousy is a strong component in relationships.
And men are so visual that they watch women, they watch cars, they watch...
They're just visual.
And I focused on that video specifically on your man looking at some sexy woman at the
beach or in the pool and how it means nothing and how your relationship is not going to
be affected by that.
There's no effect.
He loves you.
He's with you.
And the fact that he's lusted momentarily for this woman that passed him by at the supermarket
or whatever it is, and you reacted, that just creates...
The problem is your reaction.
It's not the man looking.
You can't stop what God created.
Women are not visual as a rule.
You have to have rules.
There are rules in humanity.
And most women are not visual.
I mean, that's why pornography is designed and directed toward men, whether they are
straight or gay, not women.
And there are exceptions, more exceptions in the women version than the men version of
the visual concept.
But I just...
And I spent more time on the reassurance part, I think, in that video than explaining the
dynamic that triggered it, which is what I'm doing in reverse here.
But I felt that it means nothing.
And women should stop focusing on their man's straight eyes.
Well, and I get what you're saying.
But when you're with a good man, so my partner in the beginning of our relationship, we would
watch...
We like the Celeste or Stallone show with his daughters and things.
So do I.
Yeah.
So we were watching that in the beginning.
He tests me.
It's so funny.
So he's like, oh my God, have you seen her lips?
And then he'll look over at me.
And then my eyes are like, what am I supposed to say to that?
Like, you know...
Yeah, right.
I mean...
I have seen her face and her lips.
Thank you.
Yes.
Well, no, and I don't mind because I'm pan.
I don't mind as long as it's respectful.
Yeah.
It's something that's really off putting, really gross, like really comes from the ego.
And there's...
Now that's what I don't like.
And I think the misconception that women were having when watching your video was a
lot of them have to deal with ego.
That one, the one you described that was not...
You know, you can only use so much in six to 10 minutes.
Yeah, but also remember, I did videos to agitate people.
I did what I believed was true in my mind, but I like to trigger people.
I find it entertaining, enjoyable.
You're just stirring the shit over there.
Is that what I'm hearing?
Yeah, I like to stir.
I like it.
It's a shit stir.
I have a buddy who says, you know exactly how to poke me in the right spot.
And I said, yeah, it's fun, but it's not with malice.
There are small parts of the internet out there who take your words, not as that you're
taking the piss out of people, that you are actually coming at them with full intention
of bearing your soul.
And then they see that and they...
I think they start to see it and hear it for maybe your ego instead of somebody who is
trying to just kind of feel the temperate of what the internet is and just throwing out
your advice.
But that maybe you may be right on that.
I remember the worst one I did eat, if you never saw it, because it never was on TikTok.
I did a video years ago on the evils of single motherhood.
Oh no.
Oh yes.
Oh no.
Because love it, I went after single mothers.
I mean...
I actually believed my concepts, but it was...
Their outrageous...
My concepts on that subject were simple.
I can't remember the video exactly, but it was so bad.
I took it down.
This is pre-Facebook warnings, you know, it would have been never allowed now.
You were shitting stirring...
I said, look, here's what I didn't fully say because you can't.
But I was to be more blunt than that video and exaggerate the point of it is, it seems
to me you shouldn't have children unless you're married.
And I don't care if it's a man or a woman, a man and a man...
A married couple, because I think it's a necessity to raising children.
And I say this without being a father.
And I think a woman and a man are a better match for children.
But to have a child, you should be married.
You should have a partner.
You should be using protection.
You shouldn't be having casual sex without protection.
And if you're married, you should have sex with protection unless you plan on having
a child.
I say this all coming as an adoptee.
I'm adopted.
And I'm very much pro-life.
But I'm also very much pro-contraception.
It seems there's a lot of people having a lot of casual sex, having a lot of children,
and then the man runs away and the women become...
The women always take care of the kid.
And that's just a bad thing on so many levels.
It's a whole addiction.
There's a whole...
No one's educating young people and showing them.
I mean, it takes a very long time.
How about the women that plan on having a baby as a single mother?
And I did it.
Oh, those ladies.
The rich ones.
Well, I did it in reaction.
It could be that.
It could be the fact that they feel like they have enough to just carry on and shoulder
forward, but they also may think that they have enough village behind them.
That's true.
I did it in reaction to a Philippine visit when on the way back on the flight, I remember
asking Romeo, he was by my side on so many visits in the first five years.
I said, Romeo, why are there so many single mothers in the Philippines?
What's with that?
Young single mothers.
I don't understand it.
It's a Catholic country.
Are they all a bunch of hypocrites?
They have a base.
It's an official religion.
They're all Catholic.
They all go to church like every day.
I mean, not even weekends.
I had a girlfriend that was a Sunday school teacher.
I understand being Catholic.
I went to church with her and I don't get the Philippines.
And he just said to me, they're all hypocrites, Marcus, and they don't have access to contraception.
And the men abused the women.
I don't know.
He went on and on with this.
So I came back and did a rant on single women.
So you were emotionally charged.
You were emotionally charged.
You were feeling spiritually vindicated.
I don't think enough people know that you come from an adopted scenario, which may help
people kind of understand what you're saying.
But I can also see where a lot of, if you're going off emotionally charged like that, and
for the views that you have, where there's going to be a lot of blowback from a lot of
the internet, especially from left-e sides or people who are experiencing single motherhood
from whatever situation that they are.
I could see where- I lost a lot of friends.
Let me tell you about Marcus and I, our friendship.
It is organic all the way.
We met.
I somehow landed on one of his videos and I was like, dude, what is going on over here?
People are hating on you.
Oh yeah, I had hate.
He was getting the hate slapped on him.
And I don't know.
He just started talking to me and we just started talking.
And I was hearing his message without attaching a meaning to it.
I didn't attach my childhood trauma, which we don't bond over that.
He knows my situation and I know his.
We don't bond over that.
We're new people.
We're in the present.
The past is the past.
But it's been a journey.
I mean, he's had his ass kicked all over TikTok.
I had 4 million viewers before I had to leave.
And I got to tell you, I had 2000 haters.
A lot of people sent me very nice messages that said, you know, you changed my son's
life.
I did a bullying video and she, this woman, I'll never forget it.
It almost brought me to tears.
But the hate, I tried, it was self-inflicted because I liked to trigger people because
it was all about getting views.
Don't believe I offered anything that I didn't sincerely believe, although I used exaggerated
points to get my point out there.
So you don't actually agree with exaggerated points.
It's the best way to get people's attention.
But you had a video particularly that was.
So we'll do the first two paragraphs and see if you remember where this is coming from.
This was one of the latest ones that I saw.
I think it was the first one I was scrolling.
Ladies, we've established that the power in visual and men, oh, so this is actually that
one I think is not comparable to women and that your man may no longer find you attractive
as he did when he first met you.
One million viewers on video 55 and 52 on that subject.
There's been several videos.
Yeah.
And then the next one is the one that grabbed my attention because I felt like this felt
baby.
Like you were like you had a hook and you had some bait on it.
You just wanted to see who would bite.
You're fleeing from heterosexuality and becoming lesbians according to your own words in the
tune of thousands of comments, some of which I had to delete because of profanities.
Is that what sounds familiar?
Yeah.
What else did I say in that?
Right.
I mean, it goes on.
But I mean, it was, they were talking, this one was talking about the bikini in the beach.
This was the video that we were talking about.
I didn't realize that we were talking about the same one.
But yeah, we were talking about he's lusting after other people with his eyes.
It's a momentary thing.
Don't lose heart.
Which I feel can, I feel if you were going, if you were coming from a place where you
wanted to jump into the middle of the pool, you probably wouldn't have gendered it so much.
Right?
And I'm descending.
Yeah.
And maybe you had gone just like, maybe from them days or just kept it like neutral pronouns
or whatever have you.
But that doesn't sound like what you were aiming for.
I will say from the, I was, as I was reading that one again, I'm reminded of the times
that my wife and I are comfortable to point out either ridiculous looking people in our
own little private space, like from the safety of our car, we're just being gremlins or finding
like attractive people online, which the one person that comes to mind right now, who I
have currently have a crush on is a guy named Dylan on the newest season of the Great British
Breaking show.
I think he's amazing looking and he's a great baker and I think he's great.
And Marley teases me about it because we're comfortable knowing that I'm not sitting there
going, I'm going to look up Dylan and I'm going to try to send him mail and all this.
Right.
Get in the back door kind of thing.
It's even, it even is stranger when you, and I think I made this point in some videos
when you fantasize about up, I use the word fantasize.
I'm not sure that's right, but think about her, talk about her, focus on famous attract,
supposed attractive people that you're attracted to.
That's a whole different thing I think than, you know, the random attractive woman that
passes you in the market or whatever.
Well, one's ego, right?
Yeah.
One's ego.
And then the other one, you and Marley are sitting in the living room, you're doing it
together, you're open, you know, there's no fear.
It's a communal experience.
It really is.
Exactly.
It's back and forth.
I think, Marcus, that these words that you're putting out there, these videos, they're grabbing
the attention of people who don't have their shit together or think that they really do,
are happy where they are and can't imagine where people can't be in the same kind of
headspace that you are.
And I think that makes me understand you a little more.
And I'll be honest with you, there's a modicum of respect for somebody who's willing to put
that out there and know that there's going to be people who disagree with you.
Like, I'll be honest with you, I kind of censor myself sometimes when I go out on the internet
because I want to make sure that I have built my whole thing on whoever comes comes if you're
an asshole, you got to go.
But you know your people.
And that's kind of refreshing there, Marcus.
You know what comes to mind when you say this.
My thoughts and I think reality on this concept of equity, diversity and inclusion sounds like
a pretty noble thing.
Yeah.
Probably the worst policy, if you want to call it that, public policy or social policy
that exists in the world today.
Please explain that.
It's evil.
It's absolute evil.
And I don't even want to go into the normal response of these conservative nuts that I
have to watch on my YouTube that will say, well, it puts, they would say, it puts an
unqualified black man in the helm of an airplane carrying a lot of passengers when he's not
qualified because he got the benefits of equity, diversity and inclusion.
That's the rhetoric.
That's that kind of thing.
Phyllian described it differently is what's put out there by people like me that have
views like me that put that out.
It may in fact be true, but it's not.
There's a much bigger reason why the equity, diversity and inclusion turns into be worse
than that and evil.
Let's see if I can explain it.
It's because it separates us by race, ethnicity, religion and color.
And it gives embistose supposed benefits upon supposed disadvantage, color, race, religion,
fill in the blank of the categories.
When in fact, what we should be working on is real inclusion because I think those words
are, they sound nice, but they're fake.
They have an end result that is completely the opposite.
Well, then what is real inclusion?
Diversity and inclusion because let's focus, let's ignore our color.
Let's ignore our races.
Let's ignore our different religions.
And why don't we start having rather than these crazy groups that focus on equality.
Some of them are terrorist groups like the African American group.
The point is what we should be focusing on is what we agree on, what we get along on.
Maybe it's astronomy, maybe it's art, maybe it's other hobbies, maybe it's interest in
religion.
We should have groups and people focused on commonalities, not our differences.
And then we can all just get along as a...
Instead of labeling it and I learned this up here.
And then you won't have these right wingers criticizing it for petty reasons and we can
really move forward in equality.
I gotta tell you, there are disadvantaged people in America, but the disadvantage is
economic.
It ain't race, religion.
Let's focus on the race thing because it isn't race.
It's not because you're black.
It's because you're poor.
And most blacks are poor.
70 plus percent of welfare recipients are in fact black.
So I'm not offering opinions here.
That's an empirical fact.
I forget the exact number, 72, 77.
The point is they're poor.
And if we as a society, we're privately and in government, would help people economically,
economically, not because of their color.
It will help a lot of white people.
That's great.
It will help a lot of other people, but it will disproportionately help ethnic minorities,
but you help poor people.
You don't help people who don't need help.
And with even playing field that I believe America provides everyone except for the economically
disadvantaged, that's what we have to help.
And we need to help them in so many, so many levels.
So nobody talks like that.
I've got to ask because of the fact of where this is coming from, because of who you are,
because of what you're saying, can you not say that you are coming at this with a little
bit of survivor bias?
What does that mean?
So survivor bias is the idea that they use a plane that is being shot at over war zone
as an example where a plane is being shot at, the plane lands on the ground.
Everybody goes, you were in danger.
You were in danger.
You were in all of the same.
It probably goes, no, I'm fine.
I survived.
I'm good.
And then behind him, his plane is just like riddled with bulls.
For somebody who may be in the plane, who right now is not experiencing the things that
some people may have, whether or not I don't know the numbers enough to go into the racial
numbers on who's poor, who's not.
I mean, I live in an area that seems pretty, that's very close to some people who are in
desperate, yeah, they're in desperate situations.
And I have to say, I don't see a white face among them.
That's why it's important to help, when I say help, that's a big word.
I mean, all the programs and advantages and special considerations should go to economically
disadvantaged people, regardless of color.
If we want to eliminate discrimination and racism.
I got to call time.
That's over an hour and a half, yeah.
Okay, no, that was, oh, we were just getting into conversation.
It was good though.
We were getting good.
Okay.
Marcus, dude, you're welcome back.
Anytime.
Yeah, we're doing this again.
This was fun.
And I still got so many notes to talk to.
I have a question of curiosity.
May I ask a question?
Sure.
Michael, okay.
Michael, I watched you on some podcast with Edith.
And I learned you were bisexual.
Yeah, probably this one.
Okay, fine.
But you were married and bisexual.
Absolutely.
Okay.
So my question is kind of broad and I don't know how to ask the specifics.
How does that...
I think you've got time for this, Edith, with this play.
How does that work?
How does it work out?
I just leave it with how does that work, exactly?
You're married to a woman, but you like or are attracted to two sexes, but you're fully
committed to your wife.
So far you're on the right track.
Does that cause trouble?
Because your wife can't ask to fill...
This is a story that I could revisit in this show.
So, okay.
Tell him.
Yeah.
Okay, so real quick.
Here's the lay down.
Growing up, probably around the time that I'm in my book.
So between the ages of five to I say about 21, somewhere in between there, probably around
the age of 14, 15, I start to realize that not all my fantasies are about women only.
It's something I don't know, have anybody to talk to about.
So I just compartmentalize it.
I shove it away and I just focus on being straight.
Me going to the Navy.
And while I was in the military, it was like it was all bottled up.
All of a sudden I'm starting to have dreams.
I'm starting to have fantasies.
And it's like, okay, no, this is definitely a part of me that I'm not addressing.
So I try to bring it up to my wife at the time, my first wife.
Her exact response to me was, are you really coming at me with this shit right now?
When you're trying to be yourself, it's hard to hear the words.
She didn't, you married her without her knowing you're bisexual.
Yeah.
There you have.
And I didn't really address it within myself because I was just thinking it was flights
of fancy teenage hormones.
Who knows what it's doing to the brain?
Flash forward a few years later, we're out of the military.
I'd say it's about five, six years out of the military at this point.
I start to want to explore to see what I want to do to satisfy myself sexually.
There are experiences that I've never had.
There are toys that will help facilitate that.
I want to explore that.
And then I come up to her, she's a lot more receptive this time.
She's like, okay, well, do you want to shop toys together?
Stuff like that.
And that gave me kind of a sort of validation to kind of work on it.
It leveled my mental playing field.
She asked, hey, are you wanting to try to get in a relationship with somebody?
And I'm like, no, I'm, I'm an agamist.
I, I don't like the idea of opening anything up.
I like growing and spending my time with that person.
And then we get to just ogle people from afar.
It's fine.
So then that relationship ends in the way that it does.
It's in, like I said, it was good separation, but I mean, it was relatively good.
The first thing, not the first thing, it's not like I walked in the door with, and this
is how the title of this podcast came in with a cup of coffee.
And it's like, here, here's bisexual coffee.
I am bisexual.
You know, it wasn't like that.
A couple of conversations in, we start talking about sexuality, trying to get to know each
other.
And I just open up with her and it's like, yeah, hey, I'm bisexual.
And she thought she was getting like, to use a term that I haven't heard for, for a while
from what I found from you, metrosexual.
She thought like I would be like, well-dressed and, and great.
I'm like, no, I have a lot to learn about all that.
Mine is just basically fantasizing about guys and appreciating their hotness and realizing
that I like both.
Um, she's, she's done a lot for me now.
I feel like I'm a better man because of her.
But from there, we're open with each other.
She's straight.
I mean, she'll appreciate the beauty of other people, but she's not really sexually attracted
to anybody, but guys, she entertained my little flights of, of fancy just looking at somebody
going, wow, the guy's really ripped.
You're not talking about the second wife.
Yes, I'm now talking about the second wife.
Yeah.
Because you married a wife that knows you're bisexual.
We're all from the beginning.
So, uh, and she got the benefit of me growing up in another relationship and finding out
who I was, which, um, I think if anybody starts off in a relationship, that's actually good.
Take the benefits that you learned, learned from many negatives and build something nice.
And, but also realize that some of those things you learn aren't one to one with whoever,
whoever you know.
So that's how it works.
It's understanding.
It's communication.
It's openness.
It's, uh, you got to get with somebody.
Well, one who doesn't just look at you dead in the eye and goes, Oh, I'm homophobic.
That happened to me recently.
Just to a random person, which is wild.
Well, you know, Michael, I'm in, I'm in Los Angeles, you know, California, the people
for public.
You can't be a homophobic here.
Of course, I grew up, uh, when I was, um, 13 years old, I was walking my dog and I made
friends with four guys who lived in a house.
They were in their twenties.
A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to one of their homes to have dinner.
He's 84, 85 right now.
Something that I asked him.
These were two male couples and I'm 13 years old and I'm walking the dog.
And, um, I liked these people.
One of them's name was Saul.
He was a stained glass artist.
One was Dennis.
He was a gardener.
One was Michael, an interior decorator and one was Robert, who I didn't know very well.
He came and went, uh, he was a telephone employee, telephone company employee.
And I would go there and hang out and hang out a lot.
And then, you know, I lived in that, I went to middle school and high school in that house
and they lived down the street.
And so I was there four, five, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11 years.
And during that time they lived there.
My father becomes concerned because he's met them and knows they're gay and he thinks I'm
going to be gay.
And I said to my dad, you know, you don't become gay.
You either are gay or you're not.
And I suppose there are things that shock you into being gay, but, but, you know, that's
an exception.
And I had to educate my dad because he was concerned and it turned out my dad, uh, uh,
became good friends with all four of those men.
And they would be at the house.
That's a nice story, Mark.
It is a great story.
And so I became sensitized to that.
I would go to middle school of sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade, then you go to
high school, ninth, 10th, 11th, 12th.
And, uh, kids made fun of me for hanging out with these older gay men.
Their loss.
Uh, it never dawned on me.
That's right.
Well, I mean, you could reflect back on this.
I don't think at the time I gave it any thought, but reflecting back on it, it made me now,
now, I mean, shortly after that realize I don't have a gay bone in my body, but it made
me realize that, um, at that time, late seventies.
Okay.
Uh, that has to be the late seventies.
So it was not, it was not cool to be gay.
No, definitely not.
No.
In the seventies.
It evolved very early on on that subject and, uh, by, by time I hit the eighties and I was
in college, it seemed to have, it wasn't a thing, but, but everyone was in the closet.
And then suddenly everybody wasn't, uh, really.
And then it became all the doors open at the same time.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm way ahead of everybody else on that subject that was
shocking to, to like my father, my father's reaction.
He was accepting, but he was shocked.
I never had the shock.
You know, you're an exceptional human, Marcus.
You really are.
You've got, you're a terrible assume.
My God, you've got layers, layers.
And, um, I'll, we'll, I'll schedule you again.
By the way, I supported the gay rights marriages in California in 1990s when I was on the executive
board of the Republican party much later, but I was in active in the Republican party
in California and they were opposed to this, almost all the party, not all of it, but a
small group was not led by, he was leading the small group, Kevin McCarthy, our former
speaker, my dear friend.
He was leading the group supporting, uh, gay marriages and, uh, abortion rights in the
Republican party in the nineties in California.
And so I became the go to guy for both sides in the negotiation.
Conservatives who are against all of this always won and I was always on the conservative
side, but I didn't always agree with, um, with any of that.
I voted, I voted for, uh, the gay marriages.
Are you telling me?
No.
That you believe that love is love?
I believe love is love.
And I believe there might be.
I believe there's an anomaly in God's creation that makes men gay that can't be explained,
makes women gay that can't be explained.
And that's for the next episode.
Okay.
I can't explain it.
Because we're on two hours.
Oh, either.
Oh my goodness.
This is awesome.
We had a great time.
This is, I think this is one of the easiest flowing conversations that we've had.
And it's something that we're striving for too, is to have easier conversations, get
comfortable with these people, and then start hitting some topics later on.
Think of this as season one, man.
I appreciate you coming in.
You know what's interesting, Michael?
The most interesting thing to me is not hate, like I experienced on TikTok with 2000 people,
but disagreement of the, you know, maybe 10,000 people, disagreement, people that disagree
with me is the most fascinating.
People that agree with me, that's not interesting.
Oh, it's nice.
It makes you feel good, but it's not interesting.
And I'd rather have interesting than feel good.
And so bring it on.
Let's talk about something we disagree on.
Okay.
Let's make some discourse.
We're going to make discourse next time.
And he was on NOMT and he had everybody popping.
Oh, I bet.
NOMT, what's that?
Naked Onion Mystery Tourist Podcast.
That's Naked Onion Mystery Tourist Podcast.
Yeah.
So, um...
You mean with the ladies?
Yes.
Michael, did you do that?
I'm going to...
Did you do that?
That's hers.
We'll do it all.
We'll have Michael and the other ladies and we'll all go on NOMT and we'll do that too.
Those ladies were too nice to me.
Yes, they were.
And Marcus, I did the intro this time.
I even said the $7 thing.
Do you want to get us on home, Edith?
Yeah, pick up your microphone.
Come on.
Okay.
Get professional here.
Marcus Allen, thank you for being on bisexual coffee.
It's only $7.
Don't let it break the bank.
And peace out and word to your mother.
winged by neighbour Samuel
Graham