WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.020 Listen, my obsession, I think we need a whole 00:00:02.020 --> 00:00:04.320 episode devoted to Conan O 'Brien. I think we 00:00:04.320 --> 00:00:05.700 don't. I think you're going to have to do a lot 00:00:05.700 --> 00:00:07.660 of research. And you're going to have to find 00:00:07.660 --> 00:00:10.519 out everything about him. Who is this guy? You 00:00:10.519 --> 00:00:12.740 think I have four hours to tell you about Conan 00:00:12.740 --> 00:00:15.060 O 'Brien? It's an obsession. And just don't even 00:00:15.060 --> 00:00:17.199 worry about it. Yeah, we got better. What's his 00:00:17.199 --> 00:00:19.379 name? I hope. What's the other guy that does 00:00:19.379 --> 00:00:29.370 the night time? Jimmy Fallon. I know I can explain 00:00:29.370 --> 00:00:32.030 it. I think I have a thing for like really tall 00:00:32.030 --> 00:00:37.350 European. I don't know how to explain it. I have 00:00:37.350 --> 00:00:41.649 a problem. Help me guys. Of course I'm keeping 00:00:41.649 --> 00:00:59.479 that. He's very tall and European. Yeah. If he 00:00:59.479 --> 00:01:01.619 hears me say Conan one more time, he's going 00:01:01.619 --> 00:01:04.560 to kill me. I put him on like, I put him on like, 00:01:04.920 --> 00:01:06.760 what do you call that? On my playlist at night. 00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:10.599 And I fall asleep to listen to Conan. Yeah. He's 00:01:10.599 --> 00:01:12.799 like, wow. He's like, that's okay. That's what 00:01:12.799 --> 00:01:17.099 you're listening to. Okay. Welcome back. Bunch 00:01:17.099 --> 00:01:19.359 of nonsense. Talking about your nonsense. That's 00:01:19.359 --> 00:01:21.500 all we do. All we do is talk nonsense on the 00:01:21.500 --> 00:01:27.549 TNTP. C and T .P. That's our podcast. I don't 00:01:27.549 --> 00:01:30.129 know. Yeah. Okay. I didn't even know they had 00:01:30.129 --> 00:01:35.250 Hennessy in Germany. So welcome to that. Guys, 00:01:35.349 --> 00:01:37.790 we're back again. We literally just spent like 00:01:37.790 --> 00:01:41.109 30 minutes just talking nonsense. Nothing about 00:01:41.109 --> 00:01:44.909 what we plan to talk about today, but Gio is 00:01:44.909 --> 00:01:47.480 going to let us know. this article she read about, 00:01:47.879 --> 00:01:49.980 kind of talking about how people can be flaky, 00:01:50.140 --> 00:01:52.560 maybe in our age group. We're not going to say 00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:55.959 what our age is. But maybe in our age bracket, 00:01:56.099 --> 00:01:58.799 maybe younger people too, about just being flaky 00:01:58.799 --> 00:02:00.900 and not getting back to people in a timely manner. 00:02:01.700 --> 00:02:03.659 Tell me more, tell me more, Gio. Okay, okay. 00:02:04.099 --> 00:02:06.939 This, this topic sprung from something you were 00:02:06.939 --> 00:02:09.379 mentioning a while back. You were talking about 00:02:09.379 --> 00:02:12.710 like, people pleasing and just growing up feeling 00:02:12.710 --> 00:02:14.870 like you have to make your friends happy, your 00:02:14.870 --> 00:02:17.210 friends, your family, your coworkers, and trying 00:02:17.210 --> 00:02:19.009 to balance all that without actually kind of 00:02:19.009 --> 00:02:21.330 compromising yourself. And I was telling you 00:02:21.330 --> 00:02:25.849 that with age, not that I know anything about 00:02:25.849 --> 00:02:30.150 that. What's in seasoning? You can really start 00:02:30.150 --> 00:02:33.330 to shed some of those bad feelings about not 00:02:33.330 --> 00:02:36.069 pleasing people. Right? Am I correct? Is that 00:02:36.069 --> 00:02:37.689 what we were trying to say before? Yeah, that's 00:02:37.689 --> 00:02:40.669 what we were trying to say. I think coming from 00:02:40.669 --> 00:02:45.229 my background at least, because my husband is 00:02:45.229 --> 00:02:47.250 always getting at me for not getting back to 00:02:47.250 --> 00:02:49.030 people in a timely manner. And he'll always say 00:02:49.030 --> 00:02:51.830 to me, this is why you can't find friends because 00:02:51.830 --> 00:02:53.509 you don't get back to people in a timely manner. 00:02:53.810 --> 00:02:58.330 So I have been trying to do better with it. At 00:02:58.330 --> 00:03:01.539 the same time, I... don't want to get back into 00:03:01.539 --> 00:03:04.419 people pleasing habits, just to please people 00:03:04.419 --> 00:03:07.000 and then sacrifice my happiness. I think at this 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:09.280 age, it's at a point where we can just be like, 00:03:09.300 --> 00:03:11.740 you know what? Let's put me first. What do you 00:03:11.740 --> 00:03:13.659 think, Jew? I'm with it. I'm with it. I always 00:03:13.659 --> 00:03:15.520 wanted that for you, actually. You're running 00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:17.680 yourself ragged. Running yourself ragged. She's 00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:20.199 throwing parties, birthday parties, doing this. 00:03:20.340 --> 00:03:22.620 I'm like, oh, I'm exhausted. Your itinerary is 00:03:22.620 --> 00:03:25.599 exhausting me. Okay? That sounds so tiring. I'm 00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:28.479 going to lay down. So you need, you do what you 00:03:28.479 --> 00:03:31.080 need to do. People please and continue this part. 00:03:31.180 --> 00:03:33.520 Yeah, people please me. Please you. People please 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:36.219 me, you know, pretty much. No, it's really difficult. 00:03:36.419 --> 00:03:38.240 It's really difficult, especially like your newly 00:03:38.240 --> 00:03:40.780 well, well, kind of newly weddish, I guess, not 00:03:40.780 --> 00:03:43.639 really, but. Yeah, it's been two years, but we've 00:03:43.639 --> 00:03:46.219 been together for 10. So who's like, yeah, it 00:03:46.219 --> 00:03:49.039 feels newly weddish and it's different. And I 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:51.310 want to explain to. like when you're in like 00:03:51.310 --> 00:03:53.530 20s and 30s and stuff and all your friends are 00:03:53.530 --> 00:03:57.469 getting married and you're invited to their weddings 00:03:57.469 --> 00:03:59.469 you have a role in their weddings whether you'd 00:03:59.469 --> 00:04:02.270 be bridesmaid or you'd be someone like integral 00:04:02.270 --> 00:04:04.330 in their wedding that costs a lot of money and 00:04:04.330 --> 00:04:06.330 it takes a lot of time and I've been through 00:04:06.330 --> 00:04:09.270 all of that and sometimes I'm relieved when someone 00:04:09.270 --> 00:04:12.430 asks me not to be in their wedding. Really? Absolutely. 00:04:12.830 --> 00:04:14.189 Do you know how to find it fun though? It takes 00:04:14.189 --> 00:04:18.600 time. It's fun. I got to the point where I get 00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:20.779 it, like when it was cute, it was a novelty. 00:04:21.160 --> 00:04:23.459 Like in the early 20s. I've happened to breathe 00:04:23.459 --> 00:04:26.300 my twice in my lifetime. Did you love it? Sure. 00:04:26.540 --> 00:04:31.199 Yeah, I loved it. I loved it. One was for Frederick's 00:04:31.199 --> 00:04:34.399 sister's wedding. And the other one was for a 00:04:34.399 --> 00:04:36.040 best friend of mine back home in Toronto. No, 00:04:36.120 --> 00:04:40.709 I loved it. It was good. It was good. The second 00:04:40.709 --> 00:04:42.290 one it was a little bit more tricky because I 00:04:42.290 --> 00:04:45.149 was here in Germany So all the planning and all 00:04:45.149 --> 00:04:47.629 that stuff was going on. I wasn't there So it's 00:04:47.629 --> 00:04:49.649 kind of like the long distance where it's made 00:04:49.649 --> 00:04:52.170 like I was a part of it But more so on the day 00:04:52.170 --> 00:04:55.089 of like the couple days before it was good. It 00:04:55.089 --> 00:04:56.329 was good. It was good times. It's good times 00:04:56.329 --> 00:04:58.910 It's good, but it comes with like a whole package 00:04:58.910 --> 00:05:02.709 of things to do You got a bridal shower, baby, 00:05:02.910 --> 00:05:06.209 no, not baby shower, but bridal shower, engagement 00:05:06.209 --> 00:05:09.589 party. And sometimes you find yourself with so 00:05:09.589 --> 00:05:11.250 many different roles and so many things you have 00:05:11.250 --> 00:05:13.569 to do, make sure the bride is happy all the time. 00:05:13.810 --> 00:05:16.269 Then it got kicked up. Like after a few years, 00:05:16.370 --> 00:05:19.310 it was like destination bridal shower. Like you 00:05:19.310 --> 00:05:22.990 got to go on a vacation to do it. That's crazy 00:05:22.990 --> 00:05:27.129 to me. So I'll say for my... wedding or when 00:05:27.129 --> 00:05:32.050 I got married, we did, we were in Mexico. So 00:05:32.050 --> 00:05:36.029 it was not technically a bachelorette party, 00:05:36.189 --> 00:05:38.790 so to speak. It was like, I think it was shortly 00:05:38.790 --> 00:05:41.290 after COVID, I haven't seen my girls in so long, 00:05:41.350 --> 00:05:42.810 we haven't gone anywhere, we haven't done any 00:05:42.810 --> 00:05:45.129 vacations. So we said, you know what, let's, 00:05:45.290 --> 00:05:49.889 when I come home to do this marriage thing, when 00:05:49.889 --> 00:05:52.949 I come and do that, like let's also like kind 00:05:52.949 --> 00:05:55.050 of combine it with a trip and just go away somewhere. 00:05:56.069 --> 00:05:57.949 And then my best friend kind of turned it into 00:05:57.949 --> 00:06:00.230 like a batch. It kind of just kind of turned 00:06:00.230 --> 00:06:03.730 into a bachelorette party. But it's costly. It's 00:06:03.730 --> 00:06:06.870 not like it's not a cheap thing, right? So no, 00:06:06.910 --> 00:06:08.709 I totally get that. So it does come with a lot 00:06:08.709 --> 00:06:11.930 of responsibilities. So I can see if you've done 00:06:11.930 --> 00:06:15.230 it multiple times in your life. It costs just 00:06:15.230 --> 00:06:17.029 like, I won't say it, like it costs it anymore. 00:06:17.129 --> 00:06:19.970 Vegas, this, that, the whole thing and you're 00:06:19.970 --> 00:06:22.410 like irresponsible for the bride's total happiness 00:06:22.410 --> 00:06:25.329 from the moment they ask you to do it and the 00:06:25.329 --> 00:06:27.310 dresses and the clothes and the shoes and the 00:06:27.310 --> 00:06:29.410 purses and everything. Things you're never gonna 00:06:29.410 --> 00:06:33.680 wear or have again. I'll tell you. I love my 00:06:33.680 --> 00:06:35.579 girl, the one in Toronto, but I would not wear 00:06:35.579 --> 00:06:38.660 the dress if someone paid me again. It's not 00:06:38.660 --> 00:06:41.720 bad, but it was bad enough. It was like hot pink 00:06:41.720 --> 00:06:46.240 with sequins. Hot pink! Yeah, she loves, shallots 00:06:46.240 --> 00:06:47.680 to her, I'm not gonna say her name. She knows 00:06:47.680 --> 00:06:49.680 who she is if she ever listens to this, but she 00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:53.240 knew full well that I hated pink. I hate pink 00:06:53.240 --> 00:06:56.019 and it's like the hot pink plus the sequins. 00:06:57.420 --> 00:06:59.240 I made a joke and I said, on that day of the 00:06:59.240 --> 00:07:00.579 wedding, like I felt like we looked like the 00:07:00.579 --> 00:07:03.199 golden girls. Oh, I love it. And giving Supremes, 00:07:03.220 --> 00:07:05.100 it was giving all that vibe. Yeah, all that vibe. 00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:07.480 I love that. But then, yeah, that goes back to 00:07:07.480 --> 00:07:09.980 people pleasing. Yeah. So tell me more about 00:07:09.980 --> 00:07:13.480 this article and what Luis was, who was she talking 00:07:13.480 --> 00:07:14.879 about? Who was she talking about? She's wild. 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:17.079 She has friends for like, since she was like 00:07:17.079 --> 00:07:19.300 15 years old. And she's like, well, we don't 00:07:19.300 --> 00:07:21.319 talk as much as we used to. And I have that. 00:07:21.459 --> 00:07:23.680 I do. I'm not going to lie and say it. I had 00:07:23.680 --> 00:07:26.160 friends that I've had since I was 15 years old. 00:07:26.540 --> 00:07:27.980 And maybe I didn't talk to them for three months, 00:07:28.100 --> 00:07:30.180 but it's always like Merry Christmas. Happy birthday. 00:07:30.360 --> 00:07:34.060 Happy Halloween. I try. And as you will know, 00:07:34.220 --> 00:07:35.959 living in a different country on a different 00:07:35.959 --> 00:07:39.500 continent kind of changes things. It definitely 00:07:39.500 --> 00:07:43.269 does. to point out because I did read the article 00:07:43.269 --> 00:07:46.089 as well and you did mention she had a friend 00:07:46.089 --> 00:07:49.209 since she was 15 who got married and did not 00:07:49.209 --> 00:07:51.990 ask her to be a bridesmaid and I think she said 00:07:51.990 --> 00:07:54.569 it was because like her friend basically she 00:07:54.569 --> 00:07:56.069 just kind of knew what it was like yeah we were 00:07:56.069 --> 00:07:57.790 friends since we were 15 but it's like you're 00:07:57.790 --> 00:07:59.870 not around all the time so I'm not gonna I think 00:07:59.870 --> 00:08:02.519 she said She's not gonna burden me with the rubbish 00:08:02.519 --> 00:08:05.480 of having to deal with all that stuff when I'm 00:08:05.480 --> 00:08:07.759 not that reliable. That was kind of her, that 00:08:07.759 --> 00:08:10.420 was her. The funny thing about that is two of 00:08:10.420 --> 00:08:13.959 my sister is one of my besties and my best best 00:08:13.959 --> 00:08:16.300 friend. And they have like the same personalities. 00:08:16.500 --> 00:08:18.779 Everything they do is in order. They have binders 00:08:18.779 --> 00:08:21.879 and things and like, yeah, eliminated, very structured. 00:08:22.339 --> 00:08:24.879 And who's their bridesmaid made of honor? Me? 00:08:25.480 --> 00:08:28.519 It's like, why, you know me, man. Yeah, I know 00:08:28.519 --> 00:08:31.560 Gio guys. She is not that. No, she wouldn't do 00:08:31.560 --> 00:08:33.740 that to me. I'll show for the party. Oh, we're 00:08:33.740 --> 00:08:35.720 going to have a good time. Life of the party. 00:08:35.879 --> 00:08:37.659 How come I have a binder? I don't want to copy 00:08:37.659 --> 00:08:39.639 up this binder. Take your binder. Get the hell 00:08:39.639 --> 00:08:41.960 out. I don't want to deal with this. But I mean, 00:08:42.080 --> 00:08:44.620 I think I rose to the occasion when I want to 00:08:44.620 --> 00:08:47.639 have to rise to an occasion. I do it. I'll do 00:08:47.639 --> 00:08:50.379 it. Works well under pressure. A lot of pressure. 00:08:50.759 --> 00:08:53.539 But I think the older I get, I'm like. Don't 00:08:53.539 --> 00:08:55.659 put me under pressure. No, no, I'll do it if 00:08:55.659 --> 00:08:58.120 I have to that's just how I am But I think for 00:08:58.120 --> 00:09:01.289 you to know and to love me is don't do it Just 00:09:01.289 --> 00:09:03.850 don't save me. Save yourself the trouble and 00:09:03.850 --> 00:09:07.070 me. I think it's so much better to focus on people's 00:09:07.070 --> 00:09:10.629 strengths. There are people who love to do this. 00:09:10.990 --> 00:09:12.169 Even if they're not really good friends with 00:09:12.169 --> 00:09:15.450 them, I didn't have the big, big weddings that 00:09:15.450 --> 00:09:18.649 people have that had smaller affairs and I wanted 00:09:18.649 --> 00:09:20.429 to do a bigger thing, but I don't want to hassle, 00:09:20.529 --> 00:09:23.409 and I don't want to hassle other people. I'm 00:09:23.409 --> 00:09:26.409 that person too. Even two. Just a quick snippet. 00:09:26.529 --> 00:09:29.960 Just the cost of weddings nowadays. I've heard 00:09:29.960 --> 00:09:33.059 of weddings costing $50 ,000, $60 ,000, $70 ,000. 00:09:33.740 --> 00:09:35.620 People that I know haven't gone to the wedding, 00:09:36.080 --> 00:09:39.240 but people that I knew. And this is more so I 00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:41.259 would say like African weddings because it's 00:09:41.259 --> 00:09:44.500 just, it's a cultural thing. They invite a lot 00:09:44.500 --> 00:09:46.820 of people, they have a lot of people, but which 00:09:46.820 --> 00:09:49.899 is totally fine. But I do feel like me like. 00:09:50.509 --> 00:09:52.669 I'm like cheap and expensive at the same time. 00:09:52.850 --> 00:09:54.669 Like I want a really nice wedding and a big one, 00:09:54.710 --> 00:09:56.610 but I don't want to spend that much money. Yeah. 00:09:56.909 --> 00:09:59.409 I don't want to spend that much. Um, but yeah, 00:09:59.649 --> 00:10:03.629 so American weddings are unbelievable. That's 00:10:03.629 --> 00:10:07.330 you. New York weddings. You will not think yes, 00:10:08.309 --> 00:10:10.730 but not not even like I'm from Long Island where 00:10:10.730 --> 00:10:14.629 it's like a show me town city stretch of land. 00:10:14.889 --> 00:10:18.110 Yeah. The weddings like have been exponentially. 00:10:18.490 --> 00:10:21.490 Is that the word? Yeah. definitely yeah bigger 00:10:21.490 --> 00:10:24.029 and bigger from the time i was in my 20s to now 00:10:24.029 --> 00:10:27.769 and i cannot believe how much goes into these 00:10:27.769 --> 00:10:30.210 weddings and how much stress or brides are crying 00:10:30.210 --> 00:10:32.549 people are crying because it's like do or die 00:10:32.549 --> 00:10:35.669 and the most refreshing thing i've experienced 00:10:35.669 --> 00:10:39.309 living here in germany is that oftentimes i've 00:10:39.309 --> 00:10:43.769 i've heard or seen very like scaled down weddings 00:10:43.769 --> 00:10:48.889 minimal minimally people 30 people done i'm like 00:10:48.889 --> 00:10:53.299 oh that's That's it? There's nothing? No. No 00:10:53.299 --> 00:10:56.700 reception, nothing, no. No. At a restaurant afterwards? 00:10:57.240 --> 00:10:59.279 Yeah. And went to a little restaurant and have 00:10:59.279 --> 00:11:01.840 20, 30 people. And I think that's good. I think 00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:03.639 it's normal and I think it's sane. And I think 00:11:03.639 --> 00:11:06.440 that that's why America is in the condition that 00:11:06.440 --> 00:11:09.740 it is now, because we are always up in each other. 00:11:09.919 --> 00:11:12.580 Even Kinseng Yedas and Sweet 16s, when I was 00:11:12.580 --> 00:11:15.899 growing up, they were like weddings. Yeah, it's 00:11:15.899 --> 00:11:17.799 pretty. I've never been to one, but I know in 00:11:17.799 --> 00:11:20.320 the States, because in Canada, that is not a 00:11:20.320 --> 00:11:22.320 big thing. Like the sweet 16, it's not like it 00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:26.039 is in the States. Also prom. Oh. Oh my God. Mom's 00:11:26.039 --> 00:11:29.740 that I've seen on IG of these kids like pulling 00:11:29.740 --> 00:11:33.460 up in these like, I don't know, Teslas, Lamborghini, 00:11:33.740 --> 00:11:38.179 limos, the dresses, the tuxedos. It's just too 00:11:38.179 --> 00:11:40.580 much. It's just ultra show face. Why? Crazy. 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:44.139 I've seen parents like I was like raising my 00:11:44.139 --> 00:11:48.159 niece and like the whole family was. And for 00:11:48.159 --> 00:11:51.429 her prom. It was like renting. We had to rent. 00:11:51.690 --> 00:11:53.590 I don't know what kind of car, but it was renting 00:11:53.590 --> 00:11:55.570 some kind of fancy. No, she took the limo. One 00:11:55.570 --> 00:11:57.370 of her best friends came to the house. Her mom, 00:11:57.809 --> 00:12:01.009 his mom rented a Lamborghini or something. And 00:12:01.009 --> 00:12:03.590 like, he was 17 or 18 driving this thing. I'm 00:12:03.590 --> 00:12:06.590 like, you put this in your name on prom night 00:12:06.590 --> 00:12:08.769 for this boy. He's a great kid. He's a great 00:12:08.769 --> 00:12:10.789 kid. Actually, he played soccer in Germany. We'll 00:12:10.789 --> 00:12:12.429 get to him one day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's back 00:12:12.429 --> 00:12:13.950 in the States now. He's getting one too. He's 00:12:13.950 --> 00:12:16.669 a responsible kid, but I would never do that. 00:12:17.049 --> 00:12:19.529 Are you kidding me? Different times. Are you 00:12:19.529 --> 00:12:21.950 kidding me? Because Honda. Listen, when it came 00:12:21.950 --> 00:12:25.210 for time to my... First of all, there was no 00:12:25.210 --> 00:12:28.250 chance that you drive a regular car. You have 00:12:28.250 --> 00:12:31.049 to take a limousine. Right, that's true. That's 00:12:31.049 --> 00:12:33.330 the thing in the States. You have to. And people 00:12:33.330 --> 00:12:35.070 have always asked me about that, especially like 00:12:35.070 --> 00:12:37.309 living overseas and stuff. They're like, do you 00:12:37.309 --> 00:12:38.950 guys really do that? I'm like, yeah, we really 00:12:38.950 --> 00:12:43.009 do it. Yeah. Let me tell you, when it came time 00:12:43.009 --> 00:12:47.379 for my prom, I didn't go. I had the opportunity 00:12:47.379 --> 00:12:51.259 to go to Cancun, like a week after the prom. 00:12:51.519 --> 00:12:55.139 And my mom was like, you go to the prom or you 00:12:55.139 --> 00:12:57.879 go to Cancun. I was like, oh, let me make a choice. 00:12:58.500 --> 00:13:03.320 Are you kidding me? Mexico! You kidding me? Seven 00:13:03.320 --> 00:13:06.679 days and six nights outside of my house, outside 00:13:06.679 --> 00:13:09.399 of parents' provision. One night? One night? 00:13:09.700 --> 00:13:12.759 I sing up. No. Actually, my mom kind of wanted 00:13:12.759 --> 00:13:15.169 me to go to prom. I told people. That was the 00:13:15.169 --> 00:13:17.690 ultimatum she gave me, just so I could get out 00:13:17.690 --> 00:13:20.750 of it. Actually, my boyfriend at the time, shout 00:13:20.750 --> 00:13:23.929 out, he went with one of my besties to the prom. 00:13:24.149 --> 00:13:26.830 They went together and we didn't have cell phones. 00:13:26.990 --> 00:13:29.169 Oh my God, I'm old. Later on, he and I talked 00:13:29.169 --> 00:13:31.549 that night and they had a really good time. It 00:13:31.549 --> 00:13:33.370 was really great pictures and everything like 00:13:33.370 --> 00:13:35.389 that. I was like, you guys had a good time. That's 00:13:35.389 --> 00:13:38.649 nice. Well, next week I'm in Mexico. So enjoy 00:13:38.649 --> 00:13:42.210 that. And I loved it. I loved it. It was amazing. 00:13:43.049 --> 00:13:45.970 I would never trade that front to Cancun. 17, 00:13:46.029 --> 00:13:49.929 18. Are you kidding me? Like, I went with a different 00:13:49.929 --> 00:13:51.850 high school, not my high school, like my best 00:13:51.850 --> 00:13:53.870 friend's high school. And there was like maybe 00:13:53.870 --> 00:13:57.990 150 of us from New York in Cancun. Oh, it was 00:13:57.990 --> 00:14:00.649 wild. Crazy. People in all different states. 00:14:00.950 --> 00:14:03.590 That's not the point. That's not the point. The 00:14:03.590 --> 00:14:06.169 point is... I cannot believe that someone would 00:14:06.169 --> 00:14:08.889 actually choose to do all of that for one night 00:14:08.889 --> 00:14:11.409 versus something else, maybe like a trip or something 00:14:11.409 --> 00:14:13.429 like that. I would definitely choose the trip. 00:14:13.590 --> 00:14:17.529 Are you kidding me? But I think in this generation, 00:14:17.809 --> 00:14:20.720 at least, again, it's like, with IG and social 00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:22.580 media and all the things that we have. It's so 00:14:22.580 --> 00:14:24.940 much about just impressing other people or just 00:14:24.940 --> 00:14:26.960 showing all the things that we can do or what 00:14:26.960 --> 00:14:28.960 we do have versus, okay, yeah, you don't have 00:14:28.960 --> 00:14:31.740 this or you can't do this. I fear for the future. 00:14:32.100 --> 00:14:34.580 I fear for the future because, no, honestly, 00:14:35.100 --> 00:14:37.379 when they're asking why these kids are so wacko, 00:14:37.980 --> 00:14:40.399 it's because of this. The kids are wacko. The 00:14:40.399 --> 00:14:41.799 kids are not right. The kids are not right. You 00:14:41.799 --> 00:14:43.360 guys know it. Come on. Tell me your age without 00:14:43.360 --> 00:14:45.240 telling me your age. I know, I know. They're 00:14:45.240 --> 00:14:47.519 wacko. These kids are wacko. No, you look around. 00:14:48.039 --> 00:14:50.480 You're like the the behaviors of a lot of American 00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:52.860 kids and come after me. I don't care. Do it. 00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:55.399 Tell me you don't see a difference between a 00:14:55.399 --> 00:14:58.440 lot of teenagers here in Germany or Europe and 00:14:58.440 --> 00:15:00.360 the difference between North America. Do you 00:15:00.360 --> 00:15:02.120 see it? Oh, no, definitely. No, there's a big 00:15:02.120 --> 00:15:06.059 difference. Um, which I can say one thing, one 00:15:06.059 --> 00:15:07.799 thing that did surprise me when I came out here 00:15:07.799 --> 00:15:09.720 and maybe I just didn't notice it or maybe I 00:15:09.720 --> 00:15:12.100 did when I was in high school, like high school, 00:15:12.259 --> 00:15:14.679 like, sorry, weed was a thing. It was wheat. 00:15:15.480 --> 00:15:18.700 Um, drinking wasn't too heavy when I can remember, 00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:20.740 but wheat was definitely a thing. Cigarettes. 00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:23.179 Yeah. But when I came out here and I saw like 00:15:23.179 --> 00:15:27.279 12 year old smoking cigarettes. Yeah. Yeah. And 00:15:27.279 --> 00:15:29.919 like Frederick, when he was working at a school, 00:15:30.039 --> 00:15:31.759 he said he had like 13, 14 was just chilling 00:15:31.759 --> 00:15:34.600 outside smoking cigarettes. Um, that's just one 00:15:34.600 --> 00:15:40.419 part of it. I would say. I think here it's difficult 00:15:40.419 --> 00:15:42.320 to say because I feel like there's some areas 00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:44.830 where it's like. the North American kids are 00:15:44.830 --> 00:15:47.350 more advanced or like too fast for their time 00:15:47.350 --> 00:15:50.769 and also in Germany. Also, there's some aspects 00:15:50.769 --> 00:15:52.590 where kids are too fast for their time, I think. 00:15:53.750 --> 00:15:58.129 But just in terms of this generation coming up 00:15:58.129 --> 00:16:01.929 now, what I'm fearful for is to be honest, like, 00:16:01.990 --> 00:16:02.970 who's going to take care of me when I'm old? 00:16:04.289 --> 00:16:05.889 No, you're in good hands. You're in good hands 00:16:05.889 --> 00:16:08.809 because I think you have many girls right now 00:16:08.809 --> 00:16:11.309 that just be making money off IG and TikTok. 00:16:11.789 --> 00:16:14.710 When we're older and they're older, like they're 00:16:14.710 --> 00:16:16.009 the ones that are supposed to be looking after 00:16:16.009 --> 00:16:18.889 us. Who we got? I think I think everything is 00:16:18.889 --> 00:16:20.970 like in a circle. I think that we're going to 00:16:20.970 --> 00:16:23.970 go back to our life. Yeah, I think it is. It 00:16:23.970 --> 00:16:27.509 is. It is Lion King. It is because I feel as 00:16:27.509 --> 00:16:29.450 if we're going to be a little bit more basic 00:16:29.450 --> 00:16:31.429 going going forward because the kids are going 00:16:31.429 --> 00:16:34.190 to beg for it. I feel like something in our human 00:16:34.190 --> 00:16:37.450 anatomy, our bodies, we want our parents to be 00:16:37.450 --> 00:16:39.610 parents. We don't want to party with our parents. 00:16:39.789 --> 00:16:41.009 I don't think that's something that's normal. 00:16:41.549 --> 00:16:44.389 I don't think it's normal to party with your 00:16:44.389 --> 00:16:47.970 kids. We should not like the same music. I don't 00:16:47.970 --> 00:16:49.490 feel like parents and kids should like the same 00:16:49.490 --> 00:16:51.889 music. I should hate your music and you should 00:16:51.889 --> 00:16:54.289 hate mine. That's how it's supposed to be. Okay, 00:16:54.870 --> 00:16:58.549 okay. So what music did your parents listen to? 00:16:58.809 --> 00:17:01.190 Like me and a lot of kids I grew up with, we 00:17:01.190 --> 00:17:04.750 were first generation something else. So the 00:17:04.750 --> 00:17:06.910 music they were listening to was from their country. 00:17:07.710 --> 00:17:10.089 Okay. So we kind of discovered music on our own 00:17:10.089 --> 00:17:13.130 from what our peers are listening to. Right. 00:17:13.390 --> 00:17:15.329 Well, I'd go to like my American quote unquote 00:17:15.329 --> 00:17:18.490 American friends house and their parents had 00:17:18.750 --> 00:17:21.450 albums or whatever, and I listened to music that 00:17:21.450 --> 00:17:24.809 way. I didn't know about Motown until I was like, 00:17:24.930 --> 00:17:27.890 I don't know. 15? I don't know. No, that's a 00:17:27.890 --> 00:17:29.869 lie. I'm much younger, but I didn't grow up with 00:17:29.869 --> 00:17:32.759 it. Blasphemy house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. 00:17:32.880 --> 00:17:34.119 So our experience is a little bit different. 00:17:34.220 --> 00:17:37.440 He's my dad listened to like Motown and 70s 80s 00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:39.740 funk music, which I really enjoy. I love that. 00:17:39.799 --> 00:17:42.220 That's awesome music. Yeah. And then because 00:17:42.220 --> 00:17:44.460 my brother was about 10 years older than he that 00:17:44.460 --> 00:17:46.619 was like the 90s era. So that's where I got that 00:17:46.619 --> 00:17:51.619 from. So I would say like with my daughter now, 00:17:51.700 --> 00:17:54.319 like the music I'm playing right now is 90s music. 00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:58.799 It is old school music 90s, 70s, 80s, all that 00:17:58.799 --> 00:18:01.109 stuff. So she might end up growing up liking 00:18:01.109 --> 00:18:04.990 a little Al Green. You are a good parent. It 00:18:04.990 --> 00:18:07.430 is quality music. You are good. No, if something 00:18:07.430 --> 00:18:09.369 like what you say, when you become a certain 00:18:09.369 --> 00:18:11.509 age, you'll be like, oh, my mom used to play 00:18:11.509 --> 00:18:13.390 that all the time. And then you appreciate it. 00:18:13.490 --> 00:18:17.250 Right. There has to be a cutoff where you and 00:18:17.250 --> 00:18:19.009 your children don't like the same things because 00:18:19.009 --> 00:18:21.609 that's how you. build a certain respect. And 00:18:21.609 --> 00:18:24.809 when I say that, your own identity. And I feel 00:18:24.809 --> 00:18:26.970 like you're supposed to do that to show the clear 00:18:26.970 --> 00:18:28.589 distinction that we're different people, we're 00:18:28.589 --> 00:18:31.430 in different generations. Because if we're both 00:18:31.430 --> 00:18:34.509 parting to little Kim at the club together, that's 00:18:34.509 --> 00:18:38.549 weird. And we can't recite the same dirty lyrics 00:18:38.549 --> 00:18:41.869 at the same time. No, it's not. I can't. No. 00:18:42.069 --> 00:18:47.309 So growing up, I had a best friend that her mom 00:18:47.309 --> 00:18:53.789 used to party still. Are they okay now? Are they 00:18:53.789 --> 00:18:56.390 all right? I've lost contact with her. Did you 00:18:56.390 --> 00:18:59.950 see? Did you see what I'm saying? She's in prison. 00:19:00.529 --> 00:19:04.029 I'm just kidding. No, she's locked up. No, I'm 00:19:04.029 --> 00:19:06.289 just kidding. We're not even up for this. She's 00:19:06.289 --> 00:19:08.950 locked up. They won't let her out. But no, seriously, 00:19:09.410 --> 00:19:11.509 I really believe that. Like I'm a firm believer 00:19:11.509 --> 00:19:15.569 in that separation of church and state and separation. 00:19:16.130 --> 00:19:18.859 You shouldn't be liking. What your parents like, 00:19:18.980 --> 00:19:21.039 until you become a certain age and you could 00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:23.680 appreciate it, but there's gonna be music in 00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:25.779 the middle, obviously. They're just gonna boutini 00:19:25.779 --> 00:19:28.180 bop too. That's fine. But when it becomes to 00:19:28.180 --> 00:19:31.160 like our hip hop and our radical music, no, I 00:19:31.160 --> 00:19:32.539 don't think I'm ready. Yeah, keep it separate. 00:19:32.980 --> 00:19:35.339 If you like it, like it over there, but don't 00:19:35.339 --> 00:19:37.119 rap with me here. Don't like it over here with 00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:39.880 me. No, I can't, then I'm gonna enjoy this. This 00:19:39.880 --> 00:19:42.619 is me. Now you're my peer. Now we're friends. 00:19:43.220 --> 00:19:45.720 A regent doesn't say regent yet. That's very 00:19:45.720 --> 00:19:50.089 creepy. Me and you are not size. We're not size? 00:19:50.589 --> 00:20:03.490 We're not friends. Yeah, we're not friends too. 00:20:03.809 --> 00:20:06.269 The true Caribbean phrase, we're not size. You 00:20:06.269 --> 00:20:09.309 and I are not size. Ah, interesting, I like that. 00:20:09.890 --> 00:20:12.000 But no, we say that all at the same time. Now 00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:14.859 we got on a different tangent. Yeah, you went 00:20:14.859 --> 00:20:18.519 so far off. But no, it's a good thing because 00:20:18.519 --> 00:20:20.039 we need to get to that. And when we get to the 00:20:20.039 --> 00:20:22.099 topics of parenting and all that kind of stuff, 00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:25.380 all that is going to be in it because I really 00:20:25.380 --> 00:20:28.599 like a lot of European parenting as compared 00:20:28.599 --> 00:20:31.240 to what I've known in the States. And I hope 00:20:31.240 --> 00:20:33.039 that doesn't change and I hope the influence 00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:36.920 does not. I pervade here. I hope it's not something 00:20:36.920 --> 00:20:39.880 that takes over American influence or Instagram 00:20:39.880 --> 00:20:43.740 culture influence does not take over over here. 00:20:43.759 --> 00:20:45.819 Although, because I must say like North America, 00:20:46.019 --> 00:20:48.440 more so USA, you guys are like the pillar of 00:20:48.440 --> 00:20:50.900 what the world sees. That's not a good thing. 00:20:51.140 --> 00:20:54.000 It's not. It's definitely not. It's not. It's 00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:56.019 what is coming. It is coming. It's definitely 00:20:56.019 --> 00:20:58.500 coming over here. It pains me. It really does. 00:20:58.740 --> 00:21:00.859 I hate the idea of it. And that's why I'm here 00:21:00.859 --> 00:21:04.099 because I saw things. I don't know. That's a 00:21:04.099 --> 00:21:05.940 different conversation altogether. Yeah, that's 00:21:05.940 --> 00:21:09.259 not the point. The point is, I have been known 00:21:09.259 --> 00:21:12.940 to be a flake. Yes. And even Jay could really 00:21:12.940 --> 00:21:15.400 attest to that. Part of the reason why I even 00:21:15.400 --> 00:21:19.299 agreed, I'm still at 98 % on this podcast. I'm 00:21:19.299 --> 00:21:20.640 doing this podcast. I'm not sure. I might not 00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:22.559 be here next week. But I just want to get my 00:21:22.559 --> 00:21:24.440 point across just to see how much of a flake 00:21:24.440 --> 00:21:28.359 this woman is sitting across from me. Okay, but 00:21:28.359 --> 00:21:30.940 the reason why I did do this podcast. I was like, 00:21:30.980 --> 00:21:35.140 wow, I get to see Gio once a week. This is a 00:21:35.140 --> 00:21:38.400 blessing. This is a blessing. So yes, she definitely 00:21:38.400 --> 00:21:42.000 is a flake, but it's okay. She she's busy. She 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:44.039 got things going on. She'd be doing the boxing 00:21:44.039 --> 00:21:46.099 and the things and the this and the that, you 00:21:46.099 --> 00:21:48.740 know, but you can maybe you can explain why you've 00:21:48.740 --> 00:21:55.900 become I earned it in my life. I've helped raise 00:21:55.900 --> 00:21:59.180 children. I've been there. I think for my friends, 00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:01.640 maybe they'll say different. I'm not sure. But 00:22:01.640 --> 00:22:04.720 I feel like I don't, I never liked the idea of 00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:07.019 being tied down. I never did and I never will. 00:22:07.380 --> 00:22:10.259 And I feel like. Once I get myself tied down 00:22:10.259 --> 00:22:12.200 into a situation, then I have to be completely 00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:15.319 responsible for it. And if something bad happens, 00:22:15.420 --> 00:22:17.400 out of that, then it's my fault, right? But if 00:22:17.400 --> 00:22:19.380 I'm not there, you can't blame me. I'm not comfortable. 00:22:19.640 --> 00:22:21.180 It's not a deeper thing. It is a deeper thing. 00:22:21.380 --> 00:22:23.140 It really is a deeper thing. And I don't want 00:22:23.140 --> 00:22:25.460 to get too personal, but that's too late. No, 00:22:25.759 --> 00:22:28.200 part of debating about having kids or not, I'm 00:22:28.200 --> 00:22:30.559 like, I could always wonder and dream about our 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:32.200 dream, Davey, because we talk about our fake 00:22:32.200 --> 00:22:33.880 imaginary Davey all the time, me and my husband. 00:22:34.359 --> 00:22:35.519 I'd be like, oh my God, he'd be going to school 00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:38.059 right now, right? Like at this moment my baby. 00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:41.460 Yeah, I don't even want parts of that because 00:22:41.460 --> 00:22:44.359 I don't want to be any part of any negative like 00:22:44.359 --> 00:22:46.539 that's my whole thing when your parent you're 00:22:46.539 --> 00:22:48.819 just you're responsible for how this person comes 00:22:48.819 --> 00:22:52.259 out all your good and bad behaviors And I don't 00:22:52.259 --> 00:22:54.480 want to make the mistake for like 20 years from 00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:58.150 then we're like it's your fault So for me I was 00:22:58.150 --> 00:23:01.289 never ready to take that on and once I'm in, 00:23:01.430 --> 00:23:04.930 I'm in and that scares the crap out of me. Does 00:23:04.930 --> 00:23:07.509 that make me like a guy? Am I a guy? I'm a guy. 00:23:07.809 --> 00:23:09.730 But circle that back to then friendships. You 00:23:09.730 --> 00:23:12.369 feel like you don't want to be tied down out 00:23:12.369 --> 00:23:15.369 here. Maybe in New York, like you had your friends, 00:23:15.529 --> 00:23:17.049 you had your party friends, your people, whatever. 00:23:17.990 --> 00:23:20.410 But do you feel like you don't want to be too 00:23:20.410 --> 00:23:22.230 committed in a friendship out here? You just 00:23:22.230 --> 00:23:24.589 don't want to be tied down? Like just by your 00:23:24.589 --> 00:23:28.140 husband, that's it. I was a little bit responsible 00:23:28.140 --> 00:23:30.539 for him and that's a lot because he's a lot, 00:23:31.099 --> 00:23:35.259 the best of a lot. And I love that. But when 00:23:35.259 --> 00:23:36.759 it comes to my friends here, I have different 00:23:36.759 --> 00:23:39.039 friends with different things my whole life. 00:23:39.619 --> 00:23:41.380 Like my whole life, I got, I have like friends 00:23:41.380 --> 00:23:44.440 who like go party really, really hard. And then 00:23:44.440 --> 00:23:46.720 I have like really kind of nerdy friends. Yeah, 00:23:46.960 --> 00:23:49.079 stay at home friends. And I just, I have them 00:23:49.079 --> 00:23:50.940 in different boxes. What's just a terrible thing 00:23:50.940 --> 00:23:54.420 to say. But when I'm in the mood to do X, Y or 00:23:54.420 --> 00:23:57.759 Z, I know which friends I'm going to do that 00:23:57.759 --> 00:24:02.480 with. With you, you seem so familial. When I 00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:05.690 say familial, like family to me. It almost became 00:24:05.690 --> 00:24:10.869 scary for me to be too close to you. Oh, jeez. 00:24:11.049 --> 00:24:14.109 Shut up. Yeah, it was like, I was like, I didn't 00:24:14.109 --> 00:24:16.190 come here for this. I didn't come here to cry. 00:24:16.329 --> 00:24:18.549 I didn't come here, but like, I really, I didn't 00:24:18.549 --> 00:24:21.890 come here to be wrapped up. Yeah, like there 00:24:21.890 --> 00:24:23.890 are people here I don't speak to for months and 00:24:23.890 --> 00:24:25.990 then we start texting. It's not like, where have 00:24:25.990 --> 00:24:28.509 you been? Blah, blah, blah. With you, I feel 00:24:28.509 --> 00:24:31.970 like I have to explain myself. I gotta be like, 00:24:32.130 --> 00:24:34.869 and she doesn't even like, and I don't, I know, 00:24:34.950 --> 00:24:36.690 she do. You like, so where you been? Sometimes. 00:24:37.089 --> 00:24:39.849 Yeah, but okay. Yeah. Sometimes I do, sometimes 00:24:39.849 --> 00:24:42.150 I do. Yeah. Like a sister would, like family 00:24:42.150 --> 00:24:45.910 would. Yeah, so what I will say, this is, like 00:24:45.910 --> 00:24:47.390 Reverend, there have been pressure right now. 00:24:47.390 --> 00:24:50.220 We really are, quick. one minute, and then we're 00:24:50.220 --> 00:24:52.579 gonna move on. But I felt the same way as well 00:24:52.579 --> 00:24:54.059 too, like when I first came here, I was like, 00:24:54.099 --> 00:24:56.200 wow, like Gio's Mad Cool when I first met Gio. 00:24:56.559 --> 00:24:58.880 Gio's Mad Cool is definitely the sister feeling, 00:24:59.079 --> 00:25:01.180 definitely sister feeling vibe. So it's funny, 00:25:01.299 --> 00:25:03.720 because she's obviously on the reciprocating 00:25:03.720 --> 00:25:05.460 end of like, oh, I don't want to commit, because 00:25:05.460 --> 00:25:07.119 this feels like family. I'm not here for this. 00:25:07.420 --> 00:25:11.119 And I'm like, commit, commit. Commit. It feels 00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:13.359 like family. I like this. This is good. Finally, 00:25:13.519 --> 00:25:15.980 I meet someone cool. I can buzz jokes with, we're 00:25:15.980 --> 00:25:23.390 kekeke. No, no, no. And I felt, I asked the husband. 00:25:24.549 --> 00:25:27.990 He knows, because he's like, come on, man. He's 00:25:27.990 --> 00:25:29.529 like, you know, you love her so much. I was like, 00:25:29.549 --> 00:25:31.349 it's not that. I just, I don't want to marry 00:25:31.349 --> 00:25:34.869 her. It wasn't even like that. It's like, once 00:25:34.869 --> 00:25:38.470 you're in his room for anyone, it's just always 00:25:38.470 --> 00:25:40.849 kind of been like that. And it's like, I got 00:25:40.849 --> 00:25:42.970 friends here. Opportunity like, hey, man, if 00:25:42.970 --> 00:25:44.369 it doesn't work out or I don't want to be too 00:25:44.369 --> 00:25:46.430 committed, then I can just not feel away about 00:25:46.430 --> 00:25:50.960 it. You can't leave. I know. Yeah, I understand 00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:55.119 that. I know. And I love this project we're doing 00:25:55.119 --> 00:25:56.880 together because we're putting our efforts, our 00:25:56.880 --> 00:25:59.259 friendship. We're talking about it, which is 00:25:59.259 --> 00:26:01.299 a very good therapy. We never discussed this, 00:26:01.359 --> 00:26:05.220 guys. So you guys are our therapy. You are listening 00:26:05.220 --> 00:26:07.380 to us. You guys are our therapists, in a sense. 00:26:07.779 --> 00:26:10.680 Really? I mean, I do. I've noticed I have friends 00:26:10.680 --> 00:26:13.519 here who are a little bit more weird you've been 00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:16.359 than others. And that really frightens me. And 00:26:16.359 --> 00:26:19.079 I don't know what that's about. I really don't 00:26:19.079 --> 00:26:21.339 get it. I don't once I start feeling it's like 00:26:21.339 --> 00:26:23.799 if you're like I like your hands are on my neck 00:26:23.799 --> 00:26:26.000 What are you doing? How come you haven't heard 00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:27.880 from you? I know I've had to pick a personal 00:26:27.880 --> 00:26:31.500 no, it's not and after like the 16 time that 00:26:31.500 --> 00:26:35.039 Just flaked out. I'm gonna stop asking. I don't 00:26:35.039 --> 00:26:36.519 even ask where she is anymore. I'm just whatever 00:26:36.519 --> 00:26:38.720 if we make plans Hey, you're coming next week. 00:26:38.779 --> 00:26:41.880 Ah, it's raining. I'm like, okay I knew like 00:26:41.880 --> 00:26:43.920 depending on when the weather what's happening 00:26:43.920 --> 00:26:46.000 with the weather I'll know if I see you or not 00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:50.710 if it's sunny 75 % because why she wants to enjoy 00:26:50.710 --> 00:26:52.990 the sun she wants to be out in the good weather 00:26:52.990 --> 00:26:55.970 if it's raining It's also 75 % because you don't 00:26:55.970 --> 00:26:59.609 want to come out to where I live Right, so it's 00:26:59.609 --> 00:27:03.210 really hit and miss but I can say 25 % she might 00:27:03.210 --> 00:27:09.369 show through you know She was a lovely woman. 00:27:09.450 --> 00:27:11.789 She's great for me. No, no, no. I love her. I 00:27:11.789 --> 00:27:14.170 love her. No, I have to say she's putting me 00:27:14.170 --> 00:27:17.289 in a position like Okay, there's like, you have 00:27:17.289 --> 00:27:20.109 like two halves of yourself, like Susie Homemaker, 00:27:20.890 --> 00:27:23.589 like, you know, you want to make everything nurturing, 00:27:23.789 --> 00:27:26.309 your environment nurturing, but something happened 00:27:26.309 --> 00:27:28.630 to me, maybe the last couple of birthdays. I 00:27:28.630 --> 00:27:31.450 want to be in the street, right? Having fun. 00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:34.359 I take that back and step back. I want to just 00:27:34.359 --> 00:27:36.559 be like wild. I don't know if it's like a midlife 00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:39.039 crisis. I don't know what it is, but I don't 00:27:39.039 --> 00:27:41.099 want to think about nurturing. I don't even make 00:27:41.099 --> 00:27:43.279 things. I used to make, yeah, she's too nurtured. 00:27:43.480 --> 00:27:45.339 She's so nurtured. And she's actually now she's 00:27:45.339 --> 00:27:47.799 legit in nurturing phase. Cause I've seen her 00:27:47.799 --> 00:27:50.539 drink before, but she's still worried about everybody 00:27:50.539 --> 00:27:53.359 in the room. Like if they ate enough and it was 00:27:53.359 --> 00:27:55.799 entertaining. And I'm just like, oh, that's who 00:27:55.799 --> 00:27:58.079 she is. This is her phase right now. And maybe 00:27:58.079 --> 00:28:01.920 she'll stay here forever. Yeah. in 10 years like 00:28:01.920 --> 00:28:03.740 she'll be different. I've been through that. 00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:06.220 Like I'm just like, I don't care to entertain 00:28:06.220 --> 00:28:09.160 anybody anymore. I'm really good. I don't need 00:28:09.160 --> 00:28:12.319 the energy for it. I don't know who's listening 00:28:12.319 --> 00:28:14.000 to this or who will listen to this in the future. 00:28:14.339 --> 00:28:16.940 But any people that have come to my house, where 00:28:16.940 --> 00:28:22.519 are y 'all right now? I don't know. Okay. I'm 00:28:22.519 --> 00:28:24.740 just like the entertain, I love to entertain. 00:28:24.880 --> 00:28:27.180 I love having a good time, good party. Like I'm 00:28:27.180 --> 00:28:29.500 like the games night queen. Yeah, she really 00:28:29.500 --> 00:28:31.549 is. She has good games. She has great parties. 00:28:31.710 --> 00:28:35.009 Yeah. I like, I love that stuff. Um, but yeah, 00:28:35.069 --> 00:28:37.049 I think just getting older with age is like, 00:28:37.130 --> 00:28:38.890 I don't have the energy. That's what I'm trying 00:28:38.890 --> 00:28:41.910 to tell you. That goes back to, I mean, do just 00:28:41.910 --> 00:28:43.690 saying like, yo, Jay, when you get older, you're 00:28:43.690 --> 00:28:44.809 going to see like, you're not going to have the 00:28:44.809 --> 00:28:47.109 energy to be people pleasing or entertaining 00:28:47.109 --> 00:28:49.150 people. Or I think what was it? She said to me 00:28:49.150 --> 00:28:51.470 one time, like, if someone asked me to do something 00:28:51.470 --> 00:28:53.809 or go somewhere and I don't want to, then I'm 00:28:53.809 --> 00:28:57.049 not going. Yeah. I'm like, wow. The first couple 00:28:57.049 --> 00:28:59.529 of times when I was doing that, I was like, Oh 00:28:59.529 --> 00:29:01.880 my God. Did I really just say no? Is that going 00:29:01.880 --> 00:29:03.819 to hurt someone's feelings? Right. But your own 00:29:03.819 --> 00:29:05.940 mental health and your own priorities and taking 00:29:05.940 --> 00:29:07.960 care of your home first is the most important. 00:29:08.140 --> 00:29:10.000 I'm not going to be any good to you or any fun 00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:13.299 to you if I myself to come out myself. You know, 00:29:13.460 --> 00:29:15.660 and if people give you a hard deal or big deal 00:29:15.660 --> 00:29:17.519 about it, this is the going back to the article. 00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:19.660 This girl was saying like she hasn't talked to 00:29:19.660 --> 00:29:22.380 people for months and they hit her up. And even 00:29:22.380 --> 00:29:24.559 if she doesn't reply for another three weeks, 00:29:24.619 --> 00:29:26.180 they're still not going to hold it against her. 00:29:26.339 --> 00:29:28.660 And I love that. I would never do a three week 00:29:28.660 --> 00:29:31.269 situation. She's wild. I've done three weeks. 00:29:31.450 --> 00:29:33.289 Don't look at me like that. I've never done three 00:29:33.289 --> 00:29:35.630 weeks without responding to you. Look, she's 00:29:35.630 --> 00:29:37.529 giving me right now. You should have seen the 00:29:37.529 --> 00:29:40.349 face. She's giving me three weeks. No, no, no, 00:29:40.349 --> 00:29:42.950 no. Three weeks. No. Okay. I will say, which 00:29:42.950 --> 00:29:45.269 my best friend back home, she might end up listening 00:29:45.269 --> 00:29:48.289 to this. She's super busy in her career that 00:29:48.289 --> 00:29:51.329 she's doing. But again, what was said in the 00:29:51.329 --> 00:29:53.690 article is basically having friends that just 00:29:53.690 --> 00:29:56.529 understand, like, I've loved for you. We love 00:29:56.529 --> 00:29:59.369 each other. And we're busy and life be lifeing, 00:29:59.410 --> 00:30:02.049 as we always say. But there's no hard feelings 00:30:02.049 --> 00:30:04.250 when we get back to each other. And it's like, 00:30:04.329 --> 00:30:06.490 hey girl, we haven't talked in three weeks. What's 00:30:06.490 --> 00:30:08.769 going on with you? How you been? There's no hard 00:30:08.769 --> 00:30:11.130 feelings. The ones that are like, ah, I haven't 00:30:11.130 --> 00:30:12.829 heard from you in three weeks. What's going on? 00:30:13.349 --> 00:30:15.109 There's high maintenance. And then she referred 00:30:15.109 --> 00:30:17.970 to it as that, like these high maintenance relationships 00:30:17.970 --> 00:30:19.970 or friendships where it's like, people want to 00:30:19.970 --> 00:30:21.829 hear from you like every other day. And if they 00:30:21.829 --> 00:30:23.930 don't, it's like, there's love loss. Like, oh, 00:30:23.930 --> 00:30:27.509 you're not my friend. Or like, come on. And I 00:30:27.509 --> 00:30:29.170 think we just need to give each other grace because 00:30:29.170 --> 00:30:31.269 things happen in life Things might happen to 00:30:31.269 --> 00:30:33.289 you that I might not even know about right and 00:30:33.289 --> 00:30:34.950 I'm here talking about where we've been Yeah, 00:30:34.950 --> 00:30:37.529 what you doing instead just like hey, are you 00:30:37.529 --> 00:30:39.930 good? I haven't heard from you Maybe that person's 00:30:39.930 --> 00:30:41.789 going through something and it's just like they're 00:30:41.789 --> 00:30:44.410 not ready to speak or talk to anybody Versus 00:30:44.410 --> 00:30:46.930 you coming down their throat ask them where they've 00:30:46.930 --> 00:30:49.009 been or what they've been doing just check in 00:30:49.009 --> 00:30:50.769 Hey, how you doing? I haven't heard from you 00:30:50.769 --> 00:30:53.690 if they give you an answer Whatever actually 00:30:53.690 --> 00:30:55.809 they give you it may not be to the light to your 00:30:55.809 --> 00:30:58.690 liking, right? But it's not about your liking 00:30:58.690 --> 00:31:01.309 right? It's about is your friend okay is your 00:31:01.309 --> 00:31:03.890 friend cool and just kind of go from there and 00:31:03.890 --> 00:31:06.230 you just kind of have to know That's the type 00:31:06.230 --> 00:31:07.710 of relationship you might have with that person 00:31:07.710 --> 00:31:10.190 if that's not for you then you know what to do 00:31:10.190 --> 00:31:14.470 The door is there you don't have to stay if you're 00:31:14.470 --> 00:31:16.109 trying to look for a high maintenance relationship 00:31:16.109 --> 00:31:20.410 then go and find that But I think what I will 00:31:20.410 --> 00:31:25.180 say though Moving to Germany and speaking and 00:31:25.180 --> 00:31:27.519 saying all this, this is from experience because 00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:30.720 coming to Germany, I have my core group of friends 00:31:30.720 --> 00:31:36.259 and. you know by 32 of them had kids their first 00:31:36.259 --> 00:31:42.599 kids um you know two of them had kids and the 00:31:42.599 --> 00:31:45.900 three of us did not at the time um so it's like 00:31:45.900 --> 00:31:47.759 they're transitioning to another phase of their 00:31:47.759 --> 00:31:50.359 lives my other girls they're in business so they're 00:31:50.359 --> 00:31:52.539 they're in a different phase of their life i'm 00:31:52.539 --> 00:31:55.319 now moving to germany so i'm like i'm kind of 00:31:55.319 --> 00:31:58.019 leaving all that behind so it was difficult for 00:31:58.019 --> 00:31:59.779 me in the beginning because it was like i'm coming 00:31:59.779 --> 00:32:02.119 here i think we talked about this before we on 00:32:02.119 --> 00:32:05.539 the podcast, but just coming out here and just. 00:32:05.720 --> 00:32:08.019 Finding people trying to get to know people and 00:32:08.019 --> 00:32:10.759 looking for a little bit of Familiarity from 00:32:10.759 --> 00:32:13.319 what is back home because you're in a completely 00:32:13.319 --> 00:32:15.660 new different country So in the beginning it 00:32:15.660 --> 00:32:17.740 was challenging for me because we didn't talk 00:32:17.740 --> 00:32:20.059 as much as we did like when we were in our 20s 00:32:20.059 --> 00:32:22.000 of course right and that was something that I 00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:24.359 had to understand and accept but I think that's 00:32:24.359 --> 00:32:26.279 the biggest part of growth and reflection just 00:32:26.279 --> 00:32:29.079 not Expecting it to be like me me me like why 00:32:29.079 --> 00:32:31.400 are my friends messaging me? Why is anyone calling 00:32:31.400 --> 00:32:35.160 me like they used to like it's it's life I also 00:32:35.609 --> 00:32:37.990 When you're saying that, I also realize with 00:32:37.990 --> 00:32:41.910 you, you're like, oh gee, let's hang out, let's 00:32:41.910 --> 00:32:44.250 do something. And you act like I'm not going 00:32:44.250 --> 00:32:46.529 to be around. But also, what you feel to realize 00:32:46.529 --> 00:32:50.150 is that we're now in mommy world. And that's 00:32:50.150 --> 00:32:52.089 not a bad thing. I have a lot of friends in mommy 00:32:52.089 --> 00:32:56.480 world. No, no, no. I know not that the bonds 00:32:56.480 --> 00:32:59.119 that you're going to make in that circle of moms, 00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:01.819 which like when your kid starts going to school 00:33:01.819 --> 00:33:04.000 and all that kind of stuff, they're just going 00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:06.480 to be some bonds. Maybe if you meet 20 girls 00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:09.000 who all have kids around the same age, maybe 00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:11.759 you'll be close friends with four. You know what 00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:13.839 I mean? You're going to weed them out and like 00:33:13.839 --> 00:33:15.779 that's going to happen. That's life. But you're 00:33:15.779 --> 00:33:17.579 going to have that I'm not going to know anything 00:33:17.579 --> 00:33:20.500 about because I'm not in baby world. I don't. 00:33:20.660 --> 00:33:23.839 But that's different. I come from the North American 00:33:23.839 --> 00:33:26.680 side. I come from the Caribbean side. So we have 00:33:26.680 --> 00:33:29.240 that, which is the why I said is very sisterly 00:33:29.240 --> 00:33:32.180 because we don't have a. It's almost by blood 00:33:32.180 --> 00:33:35.220 that we're kind of like related. You know what 00:33:35.220 --> 00:33:38.720 I mean? That kind of situation as with a circumstance 00:33:38.720 --> 00:33:41.119 of children going to the same school, same teacher, 00:33:41.279 --> 00:33:43.359 same this. That's a world that I'm not gonna 00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:46.700 know about. Please don't make me go into that 00:33:46.700 --> 00:33:50.700 world. That was not the point. The point is don't 00:33:50.700 --> 00:33:54.000 make me go into that world. Don't make me meet 00:33:54.000 --> 00:33:56.720 these moms. No, no, I'm just kidding. I look 00:33:56.720 --> 00:34:00.589 forward to your future mom friends. Yeah. Yeah. 00:34:00.890 --> 00:34:03.869 Yeah. You know, like a lot of my friends now, 00:34:04.049 --> 00:34:06.329 their kids are much older. Right. And they're 00:34:06.329 --> 00:34:08.210 like almost, you know, getting out of the house 00:34:08.210 --> 00:34:10.550 and all that kind of situation. The beautiful 00:34:10.550 --> 00:34:13.510 thing is here, there's so many transplants from 00:34:13.510 --> 00:34:16.610 different parts of the world that some people 00:34:16.610 --> 00:34:18.809 are my age and don't have kids too. So I know 00:34:18.809 --> 00:34:20.409 I could be like on a Thursday, hey, you want 00:34:20.409 --> 00:34:23.469 to do something. Yeah, let's do it. I'm not going 00:34:23.469 --> 00:34:26.380 to just. a poetry jam, a poetry jam. Listen, 00:34:26.539 --> 00:34:29.000 we're gonna go. Gosh, like, first of all, I don't 00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:31.380 like poetry. Okay, I said that guy, she hates 00:34:31.380 --> 00:34:33.679 poetry. Yeah, but that's not the thing. The thing 00:34:33.679 --> 00:34:35.400 is, I like comedy. Give me something funny and 00:34:35.400 --> 00:34:37.119 I'm there. I love comedy too. That's not the 00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:42.139 point. The point is, I just feel as if... I am 00:34:42.139 --> 00:34:44.880 in a position right now and I absolutely adore 00:34:44.880 --> 00:34:48.460 your baby. So she's precious and she's great 00:34:48.460 --> 00:34:51.059 to be around. She's not one of, she's an amazing 00:34:51.059 --> 00:34:54.079 baby. So yeah, it's like crazy. I got warnings 00:34:54.079 --> 00:34:55.940 from home like don't fall in love with this baby 00:34:55.940 --> 00:34:58.059 because you have other babies back home. And 00:34:58.059 --> 00:35:01.300 I'm like, yeah, I know, but no, but she's gorgeous. 00:35:02.239 --> 00:35:04.500 You're gonna find your way with moms and you're 00:35:04.500 --> 00:35:06.980 not gonna have time for me. I always make time 00:35:06.980 --> 00:35:09.949 for you too. I can't. Thanks, Jew. I'm always 00:35:09.949 --> 00:35:11.730 I'm gonna always do my best to make time for 00:35:11.730 --> 00:35:15.449 you girl. Okay But the point of this whole conversation 00:35:15.449 --> 00:35:18.309 which I feel we did so well because we were so 00:35:18.309 --> 00:35:22.170 open and honest with each other Is that just 00:35:22.170 --> 00:35:25.590 be at at this stage in our lives or at this because 00:35:25.590 --> 00:35:29.519 we're in the same age bracket We are. We're very 00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:31.739 close. We're very close in the age. We're very 00:35:31.739 --> 00:35:33.960 close. But just in general, whether you're in 00:35:33.960 --> 00:35:37.900 your 20s, 30s, 40s, 80s, I think it's just being 00:35:37.900 --> 00:35:40.920 really reflective on yourself and what expectations 00:35:40.920 --> 00:35:44.460 you have in terms of your friendships. And if 00:35:44.460 --> 00:35:46.059 you're looking for a high maintenance friendship, 00:35:46.199 --> 00:35:49.139 you got to find high maintenance friends that 00:35:49.139 --> 00:35:51.860 are going to give you what you need. And if it 00:35:51.860 --> 00:35:53.619 is a case that you had a friend that you were 00:35:53.619 --> 00:35:56.059 super close with and talked to on a regular basis, 00:35:56.679 --> 00:35:59.679 then you need to to realize they're busy and 00:35:59.679 --> 00:36:01.400 they have stuff going on in their lives that 00:36:01.400 --> 00:36:03.739 they might not be able to give you so much time. 00:36:04.400 --> 00:36:07.559 And I think that you need to, you know, be understanding 00:36:07.559 --> 00:36:09.500 of that. I think that's the biggest takeaway 00:36:09.500 --> 00:36:12.860 here is just being understanding of your friends, 00:36:13.380 --> 00:36:15.460 what they're going through. And just know when 00:36:15.460 --> 00:36:18.360 you get older, things change, you get busy, you 00:36:18.360 --> 00:36:21.739 have family, husbands, all that stuff, right? 00:36:21.940 --> 00:36:23.739 So I think that's the biggest takeaway. What 00:36:23.739 --> 00:36:28.210 do you say, Gia? No, my takeaway is that And 00:36:28.210 --> 00:36:30.429 I want you to see that. We're not in the same 00:36:30.429 --> 00:36:32.829 age bracket. And I always tell you, we're not. 00:36:33.090 --> 00:36:35.730 We're not. But I always tell you to prioritize 00:36:35.730 --> 00:36:38.429 your feelings and don't put your friends ahead 00:36:38.429 --> 00:36:41.110 of what you're feeling for that day, for that 00:36:41.110 --> 00:36:43.429 month, for that year. You have to prioritize 00:36:43.429 --> 00:36:46.090 what you want to do. In the article, that girl 00:36:46.090 --> 00:36:49.190 was even saying that she didn't even tell her 00:36:49.190 --> 00:36:53.289 single friends. She wanted to have a child. Did 00:36:53.289 --> 00:36:57.309 you hear that? Yes. Yes. She did mention that 00:36:57.309 --> 00:37:00.030 she kind of like broke ties with a friend that 00:37:00.030 --> 00:37:03.550 she knew for years because she wasn't having 00:37:03.550 --> 00:37:07.389 kids or I think she wanted to have kids. Our 00:37:07.389 --> 00:37:09.550 friend was single and she didn't even want to 00:37:09.550 --> 00:37:12.230 tell her that she wanted to have a baby. Because 00:37:12.230 --> 00:37:13.989 when they're together all they do is drink and 00:37:13.989 --> 00:37:16.110 party. Yes that's what it was. And it happens 00:37:16.110 --> 00:37:18.489 all the time. Yeah. Yeah I know for sure it definitely 00:37:18.489 --> 00:37:20.150 happens all the time but that's something that 00:37:20.150 --> 00:37:22.610 we're gonna get into on another episode which 00:37:22.610 --> 00:37:25.139 will probably be like Runaway Friends is probably 00:37:25.139 --> 00:37:27.539 going to be the title of that one. But thank 00:37:27.539 --> 00:37:30.679 you guys so much for tuning in this week on That's 00:37:30.679 --> 00:37:32.840 Not The Point podcast. We definitely want to 00:37:32.840 --> 00:37:34.800 see you guys next week. We'll now see you guys. 00:37:35.139 --> 00:37:37.219 We want you guys to listen to us next week. How 00:37:37.219 --> 00:37:40.440 about that? And yeah, just keep following us 00:37:40.440 --> 00:37:43.659 on all platforms. And yeah, we'll see you when 00:37:43.659 --> 00:37:46.579 we see you guys. Thanks for tuning in. Bye.