Listen, my obsession, I think we need a whole
episode devoted to Conan O 'Brien. I think we
don't. I think you're going to have to do a lot
of research. And you're going to have to find
out everything about him. Who is this guy? You
think I have four hours to tell you about Conan
O 'Brien? It's an obsession. And just don't even
worry about it. Yeah, we got better. What's his
name? I hope. What's the other guy that does
the night time? Jimmy Fallon. I know I can explain
it. I think I have a thing for like really tall
European. I don't know how to explain it. I have
a problem. Help me guys. Of course I'm keeping
that. He's very tall and European. Yeah. If he
hears me say Conan one more time, he's going
to kill me. I put him on like, I put him on like,
what do you call that? On my playlist at night.
And I fall asleep to listen to Conan. Yeah. He's
like, wow. He's like, that's okay. That's what
you're listening to. Okay. Welcome back. Bunch
of nonsense. Talking about your nonsense. That's
all we do. All we do is talk nonsense on the
TNTP. C and T .P. That's our podcast. I don't
know. Yeah. Okay. I didn't even know they had
Hennessy in Germany. So welcome to that. Guys,
we're back again. We literally just spent like
30 minutes just talking nonsense. Nothing about
what we plan to talk about today, but Gio is
going to let us know. this article she read about,
kind of talking about how people can be flaky,
maybe in our age group. We're not going to say
what our age is. But maybe in our age bracket,
maybe younger people too, about just being flaky
and not getting back to people in a timely manner.
Tell me more, tell me more, Gio. Okay, okay.
This, this topic sprung from something you were
mentioning a while back. You were talking about
like, people pleasing and just growing up feeling
like you have to make your friends happy, your
friends, your family, your coworkers, and trying
to balance all that without actually kind of
compromising yourself. And I was telling you
that with age, not that I know anything about
that. What's in seasoning? You can really start
to shed some of those bad feelings about not
pleasing people. Right? Am I correct? Is that
what we were trying to say before? Yeah, that's
what we were trying to say. I think coming from
my background at least, because my husband is
always getting at me for not getting back to
people in a timely manner. And he'll always say
to me, this is why you can't find friends because
you don't get back to people in a timely manner.
So I have been trying to do better with it. At
the same time, I... don't want to get back into
people pleasing habits, just to please people
and then sacrifice my happiness. I think at this
age, it's at a point where we can just be like,
you know what? Let's put me first. What do you
think, Jew? I'm with it. I'm with it. I always
wanted that for you, actually. You're running
yourself ragged. Running yourself ragged. She's
throwing parties, birthday parties, doing this.
I'm like, oh, I'm exhausted. Your itinerary is
exhausting me. Okay? That sounds so tiring. I'm
going to lay down. So you need, you do what you
need to do. People please and continue this part.
Yeah, people please me. Please you. People please
me, you know, pretty much. No, it's really difficult.
It's really difficult, especially like your newly
well, well, kind of newly weddish, I guess, not
really, but. Yeah, it's been two years, but we've
been together for 10. So who's like, yeah, it
feels newly weddish and it's different. And I
want to explain to. like when you're in like
20s and 30s and stuff and all your friends are
getting married and you're invited to their weddings
you have a role in their weddings whether you'd
be bridesmaid or you'd be someone like integral
in their wedding that costs a lot of money and
it takes a lot of time and I've been through
all of that and sometimes I'm relieved when someone
asks me not to be in their wedding. Really? Absolutely.
Do you know how to find it fun though? It takes
time. It's fun. I got to the point where I get
it, like when it was cute, it was a novelty.
Like in the early 20s. I've happened to breathe
my twice in my lifetime. Did you love it? Sure.
Yeah, I loved it. I loved it. One was for Frederick's
sister's wedding. And the other one was for a
best friend of mine back home in Toronto. No,
I loved it. It was good. It was good. The second
one it was a little bit more tricky because I
was here in Germany So all the planning and all
that stuff was going on. I wasn't there So it's
kind of like the long distance where it's made
like I was a part of it But more so on the day
of like the couple days before it was good. It
was good. It was good times. It's good times
It's good, but it comes with like a whole package
of things to do You got a bridal shower, baby,
no, not baby shower, but bridal shower, engagement
party. And sometimes you find yourself with so
many different roles and so many things you have
to do, make sure the bride is happy all the time.
Then it got kicked up. Like after a few years,
it was like destination bridal shower. Like you
got to go on a vacation to do it. That's crazy
to me. So I'll say for my... wedding or when
I got married, we did, we were in Mexico. So
it was not technically a bachelorette party,
so to speak. It was like, I think it was shortly
after COVID, I haven't seen my girls in so long,
we haven't gone anywhere, we haven't done any
vacations. So we said, you know what, let's,
when I come home to do this marriage thing, when
I come and do that, like let's also like kind
of combine it with a trip and just go away somewhere.
And then my best friend kind of turned it into
like a batch. It kind of just kind of turned
into a bachelorette party. But it's costly. It's
not like it's not a cheap thing, right? So no,
I totally get that. So it does come with a lot
of responsibilities. So I can see if you've done
it multiple times in your life. It costs just
like, I won't say it, like it costs it anymore.
Vegas, this, that, the whole thing and you're
like irresponsible for the bride's total happiness
from the moment they ask you to do it and the
dresses and the clothes and the shoes and the
purses and everything. Things you're never gonna
wear or have again. I'll tell you. I love my
girl, the one in Toronto, but I would not wear
the dress if someone paid me again. It's not
bad, but it was bad enough. It was like hot pink
with sequins. Hot pink! Yeah, she loves, shallots
to her, I'm not gonna say her name. She knows
who she is if she ever listens to this, but she
knew full well that I hated pink. I hate pink
and it's like the hot pink plus the sequins.
I made a joke and I said, on that day of the
wedding, like I felt like we looked like the
golden girls. Oh, I love it. And giving Supremes,
it was giving all that vibe. Yeah, all that vibe.
I love that. But then, yeah, that goes back to
people pleasing. Yeah. So tell me more about
this article and what Luis was, who was she talking
about? Who was she talking about? She's wild.
She has friends for like, since she was like
15 years old. And she's like, well, we don't
talk as much as we used to. And I have that.
I do. I'm not going to lie and say it. I had
friends that I've had since I was 15 years old.
And maybe I didn't talk to them for three months,
but it's always like Merry Christmas. Happy birthday.
Happy Halloween. I try. And as you will know,
living in a different country on a different
continent kind of changes things. It definitely
does. to point out because I did read the article
as well and you did mention she had a friend
since she was 15 who got married and did not
ask her to be a bridesmaid and I think she said
it was because like her friend basically she
just kind of knew what it was like yeah we were
friends since we were 15 but it's like you're
not around all the time so I'm not gonna I think
she said She's not gonna burden me with the rubbish
of having to deal with all that stuff when I'm
not that reliable. That was kind of her, that
was her. The funny thing about that is two of
my sister is one of my besties and my best best
friend. And they have like the same personalities.
Everything they do is in order. They have binders
and things and like, yeah, eliminated, very structured.
And who's their bridesmaid made of honor? Me?
It's like, why, you know me, man. Yeah, I know
Gio guys. She is not that. No, she wouldn't do
that to me. I'll show for the party. Oh, we're
going to have a good time. Life of the party.
How come I have a binder? I don't want to copy
up this binder. Take your binder. Get the hell
out. I don't want to deal with this. But I mean,
I think I rose to the occasion when I want to
have to rise to an occasion. I do it. I'll do
it. Works well under pressure. A lot of pressure.
But I think the older I get, I'm like. Don't
put me under pressure. No, no, I'll do it if
I have to that's just how I am But I think for
you to know and to love me is don't do it Just
don't save me. Save yourself the trouble and
me. I think it's so much better to focus on people's
strengths. There are people who love to do this.
Even if they're not really good friends with
them, I didn't have the big, big weddings that
people have that had smaller affairs and I wanted
to do a bigger thing, but I don't want to hassle,
and I don't want to hassle other people. I'm
that person too. Even two. Just a quick snippet.
Just the cost of weddings nowadays. I've heard
of weddings costing $50 ,000, $60 ,000, $70 ,000.
People that I know haven't gone to the wedding,
but people that I knew. And this is more so I
would say like African weddings because it's
just, it's a cultural thing. They invite a lot
of people, they have a lot of people, but which
is totally fine. But I do feel like me like.
I'm like cheap and expensive at the same time.
Like I want a really nice wedding and a big one,
but I don't want to spend that much money. Yeah.
I don't want to spend that much. Um, but yeah,
so American weddings are unbelievable. That's
you. New York weddings. You will not think yes,
but not not even like I'm from Long Island where
it's like a show me town city stretch of land.
Yeah. The weddings like have been exponentially.
Is that the word? Yeah. definitely yeah bigger
and bigger from the time i was in my 20s to now
and i cannot believe how much goes into these
weddings and how much stress or brides are crying
people are crying because it's like do or die
and the most refreshing thing i've experienced
living here in germany is that oftentimes i've
i've heard or seen very like scaled down weddings
minimal minimally people 30 people done i'm like
oh that's That's it? There's nothing? No. No
reception, nothing, no. No. At a restaurant afterwards?
Yeah. And went to a little restaurant and have
20, 30 people. And I think that's good. I think
it's normal and I think it's sane. And I think
that that's why America is in the condition that
it is now, because we are always up in each other.
Even Kinseng Yedas and Sweet 16s, when I was
growing up, they were like weddings. Yeah, it's
pretty. I've never been to one, but I know in
the States, because in Canada, that is not a
big thing. Like the sweet 16, it's not like it
is in the States. Also prom. Oh. Oh my God. Mom's
that I've seen on IG of these kids like pulling
up in these like, I don't know, Teslas, Lamborghini,
limos, the dresses, the tuxedos. It's just too
much. It's just ultra show face. Why? Crazy.
I've seen parents like I was like raising my
niece and like the whole family was. And for
her prom. It was like renting. We had to rent.
I don't know what kind of car, but it was renting
some kind of fancy. No, she took the limo. One
of her best friends came to the house. Her mom,
his mom rented a Lamborghini or something. And
like, he was 17 or 18 driving this thing. I'm
like, you put this in your name on prom night
for this boy. He's a great kid. He's a great
kid. Actually, he played soccer in Germany. We'll
get to him one day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's back
in the States now. He's getting one too. He's
a responsible kid, but I would never do that.
Are you kidding me? Different times. Are you
kidding me? Because Honda. Listen, when it came
for time to my... First of all, there was no
chance that you drive a regular car. You have
to take a limousine. Right, that's true. That's
the thing in the States. You have to. And people
have always asked me about that, especially like
living overseas and stuff. They're like, do you
guys really do that? I'm like, yeah, we really
do it. Yeah. Let me tell you, when it came time
for my prom, I didn't go. I had the opportunity
to go to Cancun, like a week after the prom.
And my mom was like, you go to the prom or you
go to Cancun. I was like, oh, let me make a choice.
Are you kidding me? Mexico! You kidding me? Seven
days and six nights outside of my house, outside
of parents' provision. One night? One night?
I sing up. No. Actually, my mom kind of wanted
me to go to prom. I told people. That was the
ultimatum she gave me, just so I could get out
of it. Actually, my boyfriend at the time, shout
out, he went with one of my besties to the prom.
They went together and we didn't have cell phones.
Oh my God, I'm old. Later on, he and I talked
that night and they had a really good time. It
was really great pictures and everything like
that. I was like, you guys had a good time. That's
nice. Well, next week I'm in Mexico. So enjoy
that. And I loved it. I loved it. It was amazing.
I would never trade that front to Cancun. 17,
18. Are you kidding me? Like, I went with a different
high school, not my high school, like my best
friend's high school. And there was like maybe
150 of us from New York in Cancun. Oh, it was
wild. Crazy. People in all different states.
That's not the point. That's not the point. The
point is... I cannot believe that someone would
actually choose to do all of that for one night
versus something else, maybe like a trip or something
like that. I would definitely choose the trip.
Are you kidding me? But I think in this generation,
at least, again, it's like, with IG and social
media and all the things that we have. It's so
much about just impressing other people or just
showing all the things that we can do or what
we do have versus, okay, yeah, you don't have
this or you can't do this. I fear for the future.
I fear for the future because, no, honestly,
when they're asking why these kids are so wacko,
it's because of this. The kids are wacko. The
kids are not right. The kids are not right. You
guys know it. Come on. Tell me your age without
telling me your age. I know, I know. They're
wacko. These kids are wacko. No, you look around.
You're like the the behaviors of a lot of American
kids and come after me. I don't care. Do it.
Tell me you don't see a difference between a
lot of teenagers here in Germany or Europe and
the difference between North America. Do you
see it? Oh, no, definitely. No, there's a big
difference. Um, which I can say one thing, one
thing that did surprise me when I came out here
and maybe I just didn't notice it or maybe I
did when I was in high school, like high school,
like, sorry, weed was a thing. It was wheat.
Um, drinking wasn't too heavy when I can remember,
but wheat was definitely a thing. Cigarettes.
Yeah. But when I came out here and I saw like
12 year old smoking cigarettes. Yeah. Yeah. And
like Frederick, when he was working at a school,
he said he had like 13, 14 was just chilling
outside smoking cigarettes. Um, that's just one
part of it. I would say. I think here it's difficult
to say because I feel like there's some areas
where it's like. the North American kids are
more advanced or like too fast for their time
and also in Germany. Also, there's some aspects
where kids are too fast for their time, I think.
But just in terms of this generation coming up
now, what I'm fearful for is to be honest, like,
who's going to take care of me when I'm old?
No, you're in good hands. You're in good hands
because I think you have many girls right now
that just be making money off IG and TikTok.
When we're older and they're older, like they're
the ones that are supposed to be looking after
us. Who we got? I think I think everything is
like in a circle. I think that we're going to
go back to our life. Yeah, I think it is. It
is. It is Lion King. It is because I feel as
if we're going to be a little bit more basic
going going forward because the kids are going
to beg for it. I feel like something in our human
anatomy, our bodies, we want our parents to be
parents. We don't want to party with our parents.
I don't think that's something that's normal.
I don't think it's normal to party with your
kids. We should not like the same music. I don't
feel like parents and kids should like the same
music. I should hate your music and you should
hate mine. That's how it's supposed to be. Okay,
okay. So what music did your parents listen to?
Like me and a lot of kids I grew up with, we
were first generation something else. So the
music they were listening to was from their country.
Okay. So we kind of discovered music on our own
from what our peers are listening to. Right.
Well, I'd go to like my American quote unquote
American friends house and their parents had
albums or whatever, and I listened to music that
way. I didn't know about Motown until I was like,
I don't know. 15? I don't know. No, that's a
lie. I'm much younger, but I didn't grow up with
it. Blasphemy house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
So our experience is a little bit different.
He's my dad listened to like Motown and 70s 80s
funk music, which I really enjoy. I love that.
That's awesome music. Yeah. And then because
my brother was about 10 years older than he that
was like the 90s era. So that's where I got that
from. So I would say like with my daughter now,
like the music I'm playing right now is 90s music.
It is old school music 90s, 70s, 80s, all that
stuff. So she might end up growing up liking
a little Al Green. You are a good parent. It
is quality music. You are good. No, if something
like what you say, when you become a certain
age, you'll be like, oh, my mom used to play
that all the time. And then you appreciate it.
Right. There has to be a cutoff where you and
your children don't like the same things because
that's how you. build a certain respect. And
when I say that, your own identity. And I feel
like you're supposed to do that to show the clear
distinction that we're different people, we're
in different generations. Because if we're both
parting to little Kim at the club together, that's
weird. And we can't recite the same dirty lyrics
at the same time. No, it's not. I can't. No.
So growing up, I had a best friend that her mom
used to party still. Are they okay now? Are they
all right? I've lost contact with her. Did you
see? Did you see what I'm saying? She's in prison.
I'm just kidding. No, she's locked up. No, I'm
just kidding. We're not even up for this. She's
locked up. They won't let her out. But no, seriously,
I really believe that. Like I'm a firm believer
in that separation of church and state and separation.
You shouldn't be liking. What your parents like,
until you become a certain age and you could
appreciate it, but there's gonna be music in
the middle, obviously. They're just gonna boutini
bop too. That's fine. But when it becomes to
like our hip hop and our radical music, no, I
don't think I'm ready. Yeah, keep it separate.
If you like it, like it over there, but don't
rap with me here. Don't like it over here with
me. No, I can't, then I'm gonna enjoy this. This
is me. Now you're my peer. Now we're friends.
A regent doesn't say regent yet. That's very
creepy. Me and you are not size. We're not size?
We're not friends. Yeah, we're not friends too.
The true Caribbean phrase, we're not size. You
and I are not size. Ah, interesting, I like that.
But no, we say that all at the same time. Now
we got on a different tangent. Yeah, you went
so far off. But no, it's a good thing because
we need to get to that. And when we get to the
topics of parenting and all that kind of stuff,
all that is going to be in it because I really
like a lot of European parenting as compared
to what I've known in the States. And I hope
that doesn't change and I hope the influence
does not. I pervade here. I hope it's not something
that takes over American influence or Instagram
culture influence does not take over over here.
Although, because I must say like North America,
more so USA, you guys are like the pillar of
what the world sees. That's not a good thing.
It's not. It's definitely not. It's not. It's
what is coming. It is coming. It's definitely
coming over here. It pains me. It really does.
I hate the idea of it. And that's why I'm here
because I saw things. I don't know. That's a
different conversation altogether. Yeah, that's
not the point. The point is, I have been known
to be a flake. Yes. And even Jay could really
attest to that. Part of the reason why I even
agreed, I'm still at 98 % on this podcast. I'm
doing this podcast. I'm not sure. I might not
be here next week. But I just want to get my
point across just to see how much of a flake
this woman is sitting across from me. Okay, but
the reason why I did do this podcast. I was like,
wow, I get to see Gio once a week. This is a
blessing. This is a blessing. So yes, she definitely
is a flake, but it's okay. She she's busy. She
got things going on. She'd be doing the boxing
and the things and the this and the that, you
know, but you can maybe you can explain why you've
become I earned it in my life. I've helped raise
children. I've been there. I think for my friends,
maybe they'll say different. I'm not sure. But
I feel like I don't, I never liked the idea of
being tied down. I never did and I never will.
And I feel like. Once I get myself tied down
into a situation, then I have to be completely
responsible for it. And if something bad happens,
out of that, then it's my fault, right? But if
I'm not there, you can't blame me. I'm not comfortable.
It's not a deeper thing. It is a deeper thing.
It really is a deeper thing. And I don't want
to get too personal, but that's too late. No,
part of debating about having kids or not, I'm
like, I could always wonder and dream about our
dream, Davey, because we talk about our fake
imaginary Davey all the time, me and my husband.
I'd be like, oh my God, he'd be going to school
right now, right? Like at this moment my baby.
Yeah, I don't even want parts of that because
I don't want to be any part of any negative like
that's my whole thing when your parent you're
just you're responsible for how this person comes
out all your good and bad behaviors And I don't
want to make the mistake for like 20 years from
then we're like it's your fault So for me I was
never ready to take that on and once I'm in,
I'm in and that scares the crap out of me. Does
that make me like a guy? Am I a guy? I'm a guy.
But circle that back to then friendships. You
feel like you don't want to be tied down out
here. Maybe in New York, like you had your friends,
you had your party friends, your people, whatever.
But do you feel like you don't want to be too
committed in a friendship out here? You just
don't want to be tied down? Like just by your
husband, that's it. I was a little bit responsible
for him and that's a lot because he's a lot,
the best of a lot. And I love that. But when
it comes to my friends here, I have different
friends with different things my whole life.
Like my whole life, I got, I have like friends
who like go party really, really hard. And then
I have like really kind of nerdy friends. Yeah,
stay at home friends. And I just, I have them
in different boxes. What's just a terrible thing
to say. But when I'm in the mood to do X, Y or
Z, I know which friends I'm going to do that
with. With you, you seem so familial. When I
say familial, like family to me. It almost became
scary for me to be too close to you. Oh, jeez.
Shut up. Yeah, it was like, I was like, I didn't
come here for this. I didn't come here to cry.
I didn't come here, but like, I really, I didn't
come here to be wrapped up. Yeah, like there
are people here I don't speak to for months and
then we start texting. It's not like, where have
you been? Blah, blah, blah. With you, I feel
like I have to explain myself. I gotta be like,
and she doesn't even like, and I don't, I know,
she do. You like, so where you been? Sometimes.
Yeah, but okay. Yeah. Sometimes I do, sometimes
I do. Yeah. Like a sister would, like family
would. Yeah, so what I will say, this is, like
Reverend, there have been pressure right now.
We really are, quick. one minute, and then we're
gonna move on. But I felt the same way as well
too, like when I first came here, I was like,
wow, like Gio's Mad Cool when I first met Gio.
Gio's Mad Cool is definitely the sister feeling,
definitely sister feeling vibe. So it's funny,
because she's obviously on the reciprocating
end of like, oh, I don't want to commit, because
this feels like family. I'm not here for this.
And I'm like, commit, commit. Commit. It feels
like family. I like this. This is good. Finally,
I meet someone cool. I can buzz jokes with, we're
kekeke. No, no, no. And I felt, I asked the husband.
He knows, because he's like, come on, man. He's
like, you know, you love her so much. I was like,
it's not that. I just, I don't want to marry
her. It wasn't even like that. It's like, once
you're in his room for anyone, it's just always
kind of been like that. And it's like, I got
friends here. Opportunity like, hey, man, if
it doesn't work out or I don't want to be too
committed, then I can just not feel away about
it. You can't leave. I know. Yeah, I understand
that. I know. And I love this project we're doing
together because we're putting our efforts, our
friendship. We're talking about it, which is
a very good therapy. We never discussed this,
guys. So you guys are our therapy. You are listening
to us. You guys are our therapists, in a sense.
Really? I mean, I do. I've noticed I have friends
here who are a little bit more weird you've been
than others. And that really frightens me. And
I don't know what that's about. I really don't
get it. I don't once I start feeling it's like
if you're like I like your hands are on my neck
What are you doing? How come you haven't heard
from you? I know I've had to pick a personal
no, it's not and after like the 16 time that
Just flaked out. I'm gonna stop asking. I don't
even ask where she is anymore. I'm just whatever
if we make plans Hey, you're coming next week.
Ah, it's raining. I'm like, okay I knew like
depending on when the weather what's happening
with the weather I'll know if I see you or not
if it's sunny 75 % because why she wants to enjoy
the sun she wants to be out in the good weather
if it's raining It's also 75 % because you don't
want to come out to where I live Right, so it's
really hit and miss but I can say 25 % she might
show through you know She was a lovely woman.
She's great for me. No, no, no. I love her. I
love her. No, I have to say she's putting me
in a position like Okay, there's like, you have
like two halves of yourself, like Susie Homemaker,
like, you know, you want to make everything nurturing,
your environment nurturing, but something happened
to me, maybe the last couple of birthdays. I
want to be in the street, right? Having fun.
I take that back and step back. I want to just
be like wild. I don't know if it's like a midlife
crisis. I don't know what it is, but I don't
want to think about nurturing. I don't even make
things. I used to make, yeah, she's too nurtured.
She's so nurtured. And she's actually now she's
legit in nurturing phase. Cause I've seen her
drink before, but she's still worried about everybody
in the room. Like if they ate enough and it was
entertaining. And I'm just like, oh, that's who
she is. This is her phase right now. And maybe
she'll stay here forever. Yeah. in 10 years like
she'll be different. I've been through that.
Like I'm just like, I don't care to entertain
anybody anymore. I'm really good. I don't need
the energy for it. I don't know who's listening
to this or who will listen to this in the future.
But any people that have come to my house, where
are y 'all right now? I don't know. Okay. I'm
just like the entertain, I love to entertain.
I love having a good time, good party. Like I'm
like the games night queen. Yeah, she really
is. She has good games. She has great parties.
Yeah. I like, I love that stuff. Um, but yeah,
I think just getting older with age is like,
I don't have the energy. That's what I'm trying
to tell you. That goes back to, I mean, do just
saying like, yo, Jay, when you get older, you're
going to see like, you're not going to have the
energy to be people pleasing or entertaining
people. Or I think what was it? She said to me
one time, like, if someone asked me to do something
or go somewhere and I don't want to, then I'm
not going. Yeah. I'm like, wow. The first couple
of times when I was doing that, I was like, Oh
my God. Did I really just say no? Is that going
to hurt someone's feelings? Right. But your own
mental health and your own priorities and taking
care of your home first is the most important.
I'm not going to be any good to you or any fun
to you if I myself to come out myself. You know,
and if people give you a hard deal or big deal
about it, this is the going back to the article.
This girl was saying like she hasn't talked to
people for months and they hit her up. And even
if she doesn't reply for another three weeks,
they're still not going to hold it against her.
And I love that. I would never do a three week
situation. She's wild. I've done three weeks.
Don't look at me like that. I've never done three
weeks without responding to you. Look, she's
giving me right now. You should have seen the
face. She's giving me three weeks. No, no, no,
no. Three weeks. No. Okay. I will say, which
my best friend back home, she might end up listening
to this. She's super busy in her career that
she's doing. But again, what was said in the
article is basically having friends that just
understand, like, I've loved for you. We love
each other. And we're busy and life be lifeing,
as we always say. But there's no hard feelings
when we get back to each other. And it's like,
hey girl, we haven't talked in three weeks. What's
going on with you? How you been? There's no hard
feelings. The ones that are like, ah, I haven't
heard from you in three weeks. What's going on?
There's high maintenance. And then she referred
to it as that, like these high maintenance relationships
or friendships where it's like, people want to
hear from you like every other day. And if they
don't, it's like, there's love loss. Like, oh,
you're not my friend. Or like, come on. And I
think we just need to give each other grace because
things happen in life Things might happen to
you that I might not even know about right and
I'm here talking about where we've been Yeah,
what you doing instead just like hey, are you
good? I haven't heard from you Maybe that person's
going through something and it's just like they're
not ready to speak or talk to anybody Versus
you coming down their throat ask them where they've
been or what they've been doing just check in
Hey, how you doing? I haven't heard from you
if they give you an answer Whatever actually
they give you it may not be to the light to your
liking, right? But it's not about your liking
right? It's about is your friend okay is your
friend cool and just kind of go from there and
you just kind of have to know That's the type
of relationship you might have with that person
if that's not for you then you know what to do
The door is there you don't have to stay if you're
trying to look for a high maintenance relationship
then go and find that But I think what I will
say though Moving to Germany and speaking and
saying all this, this is from experience because
coming to Germany, I have my core group of friends
and. you know by 32 of them had kids their first
kids um you know two of them had kids and the
three of us did not at the time um so it's like
they're transitioning to another phase of their
lives my other girls they're in business so they're
they're in a different phase of their life i'm
now moving to germany so i'm like i'm kind of
leaving all that behind so it was difficult for
me in the beginning because it was like i'm coming
here i think we talked about this before we on
the podcast, but just coming out here and just.
Finding people trying to get to know people and
looking for a little bit of Familiarity from
what is back home because you're in a completely
new different country So in the beginning it
was challenging for me because we didn't talk
as much as we did like when we were in our 20s
of course right and that was something that I
had to understand and accept but I think that's
the biggest part of growth and reflection just
not Expecting it to be like me me me like why
are my friends messaging me? Why is anyone calling
me like they used to like it's it's life I also
When you're saying that, I also realize with
you, you're like, oh gee, let's hang out, let's
do something. And you act like I'm not going
to be around. But also, what you feel to realize
is that we're now in mommy world. And that's
not a bad thing. I have a lot of friends in mommy
world. No, no, no. I know not that the bonds
that you're going to make in that circle of moms,
which like when your kid starts going to school
and all that kind of stuff, they're just going
to be some bonds. Maybe if you meet 20 girls
who all have kids around the same age, maybe
you'll be close friends with four. You know what
I mean? You're going to weed them out and like
that's going to happen. That's life. But you're
going to have that I'm not going to know anything
about because I'm not in baby world. I don't.
But that's different. I come from the North American
side. I come from the Caribbean side. So we have
that, which is the why I said is very sisterly
because we don't have a. It's almost by blood
that we're kind of like related. You know what
I mean? That kind of situation as with a circumstance
of children going to the same school, same teacher,
same this. That's a world that I'm not gonna
know about. Please don't make me go into that
world. That was not the point. The point is don't
make me go into that world. Don't make me meet
these moms. No, no, I'm just kidding. I look
forward to your future mom friends. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, like a lot of my friends now,
their kids are much older. Right. And they're
like almost, you know, getting out of the house
and all that kind of situation. The beautiful
thing is here, there's so many transplants from
different parts of the world that some people
are my age and don't have kids too. So I know
I could be like on a Thursday, hey, you want
to do something. Yeah, let's do it. I'm not going
to just. a poetry jam, a poetry jam. Listen,
we're gonna go. Gosh, like, first of all, I don't
like poetry. Okay, I said that guy, she hates
poetry. Yeah, but that's not the thing. The thing
is, I like comedy. Give me something funny and
I'm there. I love comedy too. That's not the
point. The point is, I just feel as if... I am
in a position right now and I absolutely adore
your baby. So she's precious and she's great
to be around. She's not one of, she's an amazing
baby. So yeah, it's like crazy. I got warnings
from home like don't fall in love with this baby
because you have other babies back home. And
I'm like, yeah, I know, but no, but she's gorgeous.
You're gonna find your way with moms and you're
not gonna have time for me. I always make time
for you too. I can't. Thanks, Jew. I'm always
I'm gonna always do my best to make time for
you girl. Okay But the point of this whole conversation
which I feel we did so well because we were so
open and honest with each other Is that just
be at at this stage in our lives or at this because
we're in the same age bracket We are. We're very
close. We're very close in the age. We're very
close. But just in general, whether you're in
your 20s, 30s, 40s, 80s, I think it's just being
really reflective on yourself and what expectations
you have in terms of your friendships. And if
you're looking for a high maintenance friendship,
you got to find high maintenance friends that
are going to give you what you need. And if it
is a case that you had a friend that you were
super close with and talked to on a regular basis,
then you need to to realize they're busy and
they have stuff going on in their lives that
they might not be able to give you so much time.
And I think that you need to, you know, be understanding
of that. I think that's the biggest takeaway
here is just being understanding of your friends,
what they're going through. And just know when
you get older, things change, you get busy, you
have family, husbands, all that stuff, right?
So I think that's the biggest takeaway. What
do you say, Gia? No, my takeaway is that And
I want you to see that. We're not in the same
age bracket. And I always tell you, we're not.
We're not. But I always tell you to prioritize
your feelings and don't put your friends ahead
of what you're feeling for that day, for that
month, for that year. You have to prioritize
what you want to do. In the article, that girl
was even saying that she didn't even tell her
single friends. She wanted to have a child. Did
you hear that? Yes. Yes. She did mention that
she kind of like broke ties with a friend that
she knew for years because she wasn't having
kids or I think she wanted to have kids. Our
friend was single and she didn't even want to
tell her that she wanted to have a baby. Because
when they're together all they do is drink and
party. Yes that's what it was. And it happens
all the time. Yeah. Yeah I know for sure it definitely
happens all the time but that's something that
we're gonna get into on another episode which
will probably be like Runaway Friends is probably
going to be the title of that one. But thank
you guys so much for tuning in this week on That's
Not The Point podcast. We definitely want to
see you guys next week. We'll now see you guys.
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we see you guys. Thanks for tuning in. Bye.