WEBVTT 00:00:27.320 --> 00:00:33.740 Welcome to Episode 8 of Transformation Talks 00:00:33.740 --> 00:00:36.100 with Angela R. Strong in Powered Edge Season. 00:00:37.060 --> 00:00:40.979 I am Angela R. Strong and today we're tackling 00:00:40.979 --> 00:00:43.460 one of the most challenging yet transformative 00:00:43.460 --> 00:00:49.000 aspects of personal growth. Finding purpose in 00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:53.320 your pain. This isn't about pretending that suffering 00:00:53.320 --> 00:00:57.520 is good or that everything happens for a reason. 00:00:58.990 --> 00:01:02.750 This is about the profound human capacity to 00:01:02.750 --> 00:01:07.310 create meaning from our most difficult experiences 00:01:07.310 --> 00:01:12.390 and use that meaning to fuel our growth and our 00:01:12.390 --> 00:01:17.810 service to others. In 2024, sitting in my car 00:01:17.810 --> 00:01:21.170 after another humiliating meeting where my character 00:01:21.170 --> 00:01:26.409 and my competence were being questioned, I felt 00:01:26.409 --> 00:01:33.010 like My pain was pointless. 27 years of military 00:01:33.010 --> 00:01:37.930 service and this is how it was ending. False 00:01:37.930 --> 00:01:43.370 accusations, destroyed reputation, retiring badly. 00:01:45.109 --> 00:01:48.310 What was the purpose in any of that? For months 00:01:48.310 --> 00:01:50.569 I couldn't see beyond the injustice that I was 00:01:50.569 --> 00:01:53.849 dealing with and the hurt. The pain felt random, 00:01:54.390 --> 00:01:57.650 cruel and meaningless. I was angry at everybody. 00:01:57.840 --> 00:02:01.000 at the system, at myself for caring so much about 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:04.180 a career that seemed to care so little about 00:02:04.180 --> 00:02:08.699 me. But slowly, something began to shift. I started 00:02:08.699 --> 00:02:10.699 meeting other people who have been going through 00:02:10.699 --> 00:02:13.879 similar experiences, not just in the military, 00:02:14.080 --> 00:02:17.419 but in corporate settings as well, in relationships, 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:21.120 in life. I realized that my pain had given me 00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:25.599 something invaluable. The ability to truly understand 00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:30.159 what others were going through. I had empathy. 00:02:31.800 --> 00:02:34.379 That crisis which felt like the end of everything 00:02:34.379 --> 00:02:38.240 became the beginning of everything for me. It 00:02:38.240 --> 00:02:42.740 gave birth to calibrated resilience, to my coaching 00:02:42.740 --> 00:02:45.879 practice, to my ability to help others navigate 00:02:45.879 --> 00:02:50.560 their own dark nights of pain. My pain became 00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:54.759 my purpose. Not because the pain was good, but 00:02:54.759 --> 00:02:58.530 because I had chose to transform it into something 00:02:58.530 --> 00:03:02.990 meaningful. I wrote Empowered Edge, transforming 00:03:02.990 --> 00:03:06.310 your pain into purpose. Let's be clear about 00:03:06.310 --> 00:03:09.849 what we're not saying here. What I'm not saying 00:03:09.849 --> 00:03:14.090 is that everything happens for a reason, or that 00:03:14.090 --> 00:03:18.009 pain is punishment or a test, or that you should 00:03:18.009 --> 00:03:22.629 be grateful for trauma, or suffering automatically 00:03:22.629 --> 00:03:26.139 creates meaning. What I am saying is that humans 00:03:26.139 --> 00:03:30.159 have this extraordinary capacity to create meaning 00:03:30.159 --> 00:03:36.360 from suffering and that meaning Making is one 00:03:36.360 --> 00:03:39.500 of our most powerful tools for healing and growth 00:03:39.500 --> 00:03:43.900 Victor Frankl a holocaust survivor and psychiatrist 00:03:43.900 --> 00:03:47.400 wrote Everything can be taken from a man. But 00:03:47.400 --> 00:03:52.479 one thing the last of human freedoms to choose 00:03:52.479 --> 00:03:55.900 one's attitude in any given set of circumstances. 00:03:56.780 --> 00:04:00.699 Purpose doesn't eliminate pain, but it transforms 00:04:00.699 --> 00:04:04.879 our relationship with pain. When we can connect 00:04:04.879 --> 00:04:08.360 our suffering to something larger than ourselves, 00:04:10.159 --> 00:04:14.740 to growth, to service, to understanding, it becomes 00:04:14.740 --> 00:04:20.110 bearable, even valuable. There are different 00:04:20.110 --> 00:04:23.569 ways that pain can become purposeful. Personal 00:04:23.569 --> 00:04:28.490 growth. Pain teaches us resilience, empathy, 00:04:28.730 --> 00:04:30.769 and strength that we didn't even know that we 00:04:30.769 --> 00:04:36.750 had. Deeper relationships. Shared struggles create 00:04:36.750 --> 00:04:40.709 profound connections with other people. Service 00:04:40.709 --> 00:04:45.269 to others. Our experiences help us guide others 00:04:45.269 --> 00:04:49.069 through similar challenges. that we face ourselves. 00:04:50.389 --> 00:04:54.810 Clarity of values. Crisis reveals what truly 00:04:54.810 --> 00:05:00.290 matters to us. Spiritual development. Suffering 00:05:00.290 --> 00:05:03.629 often deepens our spiritual understanding. Creative 00:05:03.629 --> 00:05:07.970 expression. Pain can fuel art, writing, like 00:05:07.970 --> 00:05:11.110 my book, and other forms of meaningful creation. 00:05:12.029 --> 00:05:16.310 Finding purpose in pain isn't automatic. It's 00:05:16.310 --> 00:05:20.930 a choice and a process. Here's my framework for 00:05:20.930 --> 00:05:25.610 transforming pain into purpose. First, you have 00:05:25.610 --> 00:05:30.009 to honor your pain. Don't rush to find the meaning 00:05:30.009 --> 00:05:32.990 of it. First, acknowledge the full weight of 00:05:32.990 --> 00:05:36.089 what you experience. And I want you to grieve 00:05:36.089 --> 00:05:40.050 what it is that you lost. Feel the anger, the 00:05:40.050 --> 00:05:43.069 sadness, or the fear because you can't transform 00:05:43.069 --> 00:05:47.560 what you don't acknowledge. Two, look for the 00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:50.939 lessons. What has this experience taught you 00:05:50.939 --> 00:05:56.019 about yourself, others, or life? What strengths 00:05:56.019 --> 00:05:59.860 did you discover? What illusions were shattered 00:05:59.860 --> 00:06:04.060 that needed to be? What wisdom did you gain? 00:06:05.819 --> 00:06:09.759 Three, identify the gifts. And this can sound 00:06:09.759 --> 00:06:13.870 counter -intuitive, but... Those painful experiences 00:06:13.870 --> 00:06:17.370 also bring unexpected gifts. It brings deeper 00:06:17.370 --> 00:06:22.149 empathy, stronger relationships, clear priorities, 00:06:22.370 --> 00:06:26.949 and increased resilience. What gifts emerge from 00:06:26.949 --> 00:06:32.189 your struggle? Four, connect to service. How 00:06:32.189 --> 00:06:36.269 can your experience help others? This doesn't 00:06:36.269 --> 00:06:38.490 mean that you have to become a counselor or a 00:06:38.490 --> 00:06:41.759 coach like me, but I want you to consider how 00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:44.319 your journey might benefit someone else walking 00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:52.339 a similar path. Step five, create meaning. Consciously 00:06:52.339 --> 00:06:56.019 choose what your experience means. Write your 00:06:56.019 --> 00:07:00.040 own narrative about how this pain fits into your 00:07:00.040 --> 00:07:04.519 larger life story and your purpose. Let me share 00:07:04.519 --> 00:07:07.220 with you how this worked with my career crisis. 00:07:08.680 --> 00:07:12.170 Honor. I spent months breathing the career that 00:07:12.170 --> 00:07:15.629 I'd lost and the injustice that I experienced. 00:07:16.370 --> 00:07:19.449 I was retiring anyway, but the last few months 00:07:19.449 --> 00:07:23.170 sucked. The lessons that I learned wasn't tied 00:07:23.170 --> 00:07:26.910 to my positions though. I was stronger than I 00:07:26.910 --> 00:07:30.829 knew and that systems could fail good people. 00:07:31.949 --> 00:07:36.360 Gifts. I developed deeper empathy. stronger relationships 00:07:36.360 --> 00:07:39.519 with my family, and clarity about what it is 00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:45.399 that I truly valued to my core. Service. I realized 00:07:45.399 --> 00:07:47.759 that I could help others navigate these transitions 00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:49.899 and crisis, and I didn't have to keep it all 00:07:49.899 --> 00:07:52.959 to myself anymore. I could share and help others. 00:07:53.699 --> 00:07:57.120 Meaning, I chose this experience as preparation 00:07:57.120 --> 00:08:00.540 for my true calling, helping others build resilience 00:08:00.540 --> 00:08:05.560 using my calibrated resilience methods. Let's 00:08:05.560 --> 00:08:09.019 practice the purpose finding power pause. Think 00:08:09.019 --> 00:08:12.660 of a painful experience from your past that you're 00:08:12.660 --> 00:08:17.819 ready to explore what the meaning of it is. And 00:08:17.819 --> 00:08:20.060 I want you to take several deep breaths and create 00:08:20.060 --> 00:08:24.379 a safe space for this reflection for you. And 00:08:24.379 --> 00:08:28.759 gently ask yourself, what did this experience 00:08:28.759 --> 00:08:34.220 teach me about my own strength? How did it deepen 00:08:34.220 --> 00:08:39.399 my understanding of others or life? What gifts 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:43.799 or insights emerged from this struggle? How might 00:08:43.799 --> 00:08:48.360 this experience help someone else? What meaning 00:08:48.360 --> 00:08:53.679 am I ready to create from this pain? Notice how 00:08:53.679 --> 00:08:57.460 shifting the why did this happen to me to how 00:08:57.460 --> 00:09:01.179 can this serve changes your relationship with 00:09:01.179 --> 00:09:05.240 that experience? Gives you a whole new feeling, 00:09:05.500 --> 00:09:08.240 whole new meaning. Purpose from pain doesn't 00:09:08.240 --> 00:09:10.639 always look the same. Here are some different 00:09:10.639 --> 00:09:14.899 ways that people transform their struggles. The 00:09:14.899 --> 00:09:18.700 helper. The helper uses their experience to directly 00:09:18.700 --> 00:09:21.940 help others facing similar challenges, like me. 00:09:23.240 --> 00:09:25.960 Think of addiction counselors who are in recovery 00:09:25.960 --> 00:09:31.360 or grief counselors who've lost loved ones. The 00:09:31.360 --> 00:09:35.860 advocate. channels their pain into fighting for 00:09:35.860 --> 00:09:40.220 systemic change. Parents who lose children to 00:09:40.220 --> 00:09:42.940 junk drivers become advocates for stricter odds. 00:09:43.899 --> 00:09:47.419 The creator. The creator transforms pain into 00:09:47.419 --> 00:09:51.399 art, writing, music, or other creative expressions 00:09:51.399 --> 00:09:55.659 that touch others' lives. The teacher. The teacher 00:09:55.659 --> 00:09:58.120 shares their wisdom that they gain from their 00:09:58.120 --> 00:10:00.399 experience through formal or informal teaching. 00:10:02.320 --> 00:10:06.299 The warrior. They fuse their pain to develop 00:10:06.299 --> 00:10:09.039 extraordinary resilience and strength that inspires 00:10:09.039 --> 00:10:16.279 others. The connector creates communities and 00:10:16.279 --> 00:10:18.539 connections for others going through similar 00:10:18.539 --> 00:10:23.600 experiences. You might be one type or combination. 00:10:25.080 --> 00:10:28.580 I know a few of these, I, resonates with me, 00:10:28.580 --> 00:10:32.039 so. But the key is finding the expression that 00:10:32.039 --> 00:10:37.200 feels authentic to you. For your homework this 00:10:37.200 --> 00:10:39.980 week, I want you to choose one painful experience 00:10:39.980 --> 00:10:42.820 from your past and I want you to work through 00:10:42.820 --> 00:10:45.340 the five -step purpose -finding process that 00:10:45.340 --> 00:10:50.019 I just gave you. Take your time because this 00:10:50.019 --> 00:10:53.879 isn't something that you need to rush. Consider 00:10:53.879 --> 00:10:56.379 sharing your insights with someone you trust 00:10:56.379 --> 00:11:00.039 or journal about how this new perspective on 00:11:00.039 --> 00:11:03.639 your pain might influence your future choices. 00:11:06.120 --> 00:11:09.100 Look for one small way that you could use your 00:11:09.100 --> 00:11:12.820 experience to help someone else this week. Your 00:11:12.820 --> 00:11:18.379 pain is not your punishment. It is your preparation. 00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:23.200 Not because someone planned it that way, but 00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:27.639 because you have the power to transform even 00:11:27.639 --> 00:11:31.580 your deepest struggles into sources of strength, 00:11:32.299 --> 00:11:37.860 wisdom, and service. Next week, we're exploring 00:11:37.860 --> 00:11:42.460 the strength and vulnerability. Until then, remember 00:11:42.460 --> 00:11:46.899 that your scars are not signs of weakness. They're 00:11:46.899 --> 00:11:50.659 evidence of your survival and they're proof of 00:11:50.659 --> 00:11:53.960 your strength. I'm Angela R. Strong and this 00:11:53.960 --> 00:11:56.279 has been Transformation Talk with Angela R. Strong, 00:11:57.080 --> 00:12:00.539 the Empowered Edge series. Thank you for watching. 00:12:01.860 --> 00:12:04.559 I look forward to seeing you next week. If this 00:12:04.559 --> 00:12:08.679 resonated with you, like, subscribe, and share. 00:12:09.320 --> 00:12:11.940 Have a great week. See you next week.