Welcome to Episode 8 of Transformation Talks
with Angela R. Strong in Powered Edge Season.
I am Angela R. Strong and today we're tackling
one of the most challenging yet transformative
aspects of personal growth. Finding purpose in
your pain. This isn't about pretending that suffering
is good or that everything happens for a reason.
This is about the profound human capacity to
create meaning from our most difficult experiences
and use that meaning to fuel our growth and our
service to others. In 2024, sitting in my car
after another humiliating meeting where my character
and my competence were being questioned, I felt
like My pain was pointless. 27 years of military
service and this is how it was ending. False
accusations, destroyed reputation, retiring badly.
What was the purpose in any of that? For months
I couldn't see beyond the injustice that I was
dealing with and the hurt. The pain felt random,
cruel and meaningless. I was angry at everybody.
at the system, at myself for caring so much about
a career that seemed to care so little about
me. But slowly, something began to shift. I started
meeting other people who have been going through
similar experiences, not just in the military,
but in corporate settings as well, in relationships,
in life. I realized that my pain had given me
something invaluable. The ability to truly understand
what others were going through. I had empathy.
That crisis which felt like the end of everything
became the beginning of everything for me. It
gave birth to calibrated resilience, to my coaching
practice, to my ability to help others navigate
their own dark nights of pain. My pain became
my purpose. Not because the pain was good, but
because I had chose to transform it into something
meaningful. I wrote Empowered Edge, transforming
your pain into purpose. Let's be clear about
what we're not saying here. What I'm not saying
is that everything happens for a reason, or that
pain is punishment or a test, or that you should
be grateful for trauma, or suffering automatically
creates meaning. What I am saying is that humans
have this extraordinary capacity to create meaning
from suffering and that meaning Making is one
of our most powerful tools for healing and growth
Victor Frankl a holocaust survivor and psychiatrist
wrote Everything can be taken from a man. But
one thing the last of human freedoms to choose
one's attitude in any given set of circumstances.
Purpose doesn't eliminate pain, but it transforms
our relationship with pain. When we can connect
our suffering to something larger than ourselves,
to growth, to service, to understanding, it becomes
bearable, even valuable. There are different
ways that pain can become purposeful. Personal
growth. Pain teaches us resilience, empathy,
and strength that we didn't even know that we
had. Deeper relationships. Shared struggles create
profound connections with other people. Service
to others. Our experiences help us guide others
through similar challenges. that we face ourselves.
Clarity of values. Crisis reveals what truly
matters to us. Spiritual development. Suffering
often deepens our spiritual understanding. Creative
expression. Pain can fuel art, writing, like
my book, and other forms of meaningful creation.
Finding purpose in pain isn't automatic. It's
a choice and a process. Here's my framework for
transforming pain into purpose. First, you have
to honor your pain. Don't rush to find the meaning
of it. First, acknowledge the full weight of
what you experience. And I want you to grieve
what it is that you lost. Feel the anger, the
sadness, or the fear because you can't transform
what you don't acknowledge. Two, look for the
lessons. What has this experience taught you
about yourself, others, or life? What strengths
did you discover? What illusions were shattered
that needed to be? What wisdom did you gain?
Three, identify the gifts. And this can sound
counter -intuitive, but... Those painful experiences
also bring unexpected gifts. It brings deeper
empathy, stronger relationships, clear priorities,
and increased resilience. What gifts emerge from
your struggle? Four, connect to service. How
can your experience help others? This doesn't
mean that you have to become a counselor or a
coach like me, but I want you to consider how
your journey might benefit someone else walking
a similar path. Step five, create meaning. Consciously
choose what your experience means. Write your
own narrative about how this pain fits into your
larger life story and your purpose. Let me share
with you how this worked with my career crisis.
Honor. I spent months breathing the career that
I'd lost and the injustice that I experienced.
I was retiring anyway, but the last few months
sucked. The lessons that I learned wasn't tied
to my positions though. I was stronger than I
knew and that systems could fail good people.
Gifts. I developed deeper empathy. stronger relationships
with my family, and clarity about what it is
that I truly valued to my core. Service. I realized
that I could help others navigate these transitions
and crisis, and I didn't have to keep it all
to myself anymore. I could share and help others.
Meaning, I chose this experience as preparation
for my true calling, helping others build resilience
using my calibrated resilience methods. Let's
practice the purpose finding power pause. Think
of a painful experience from your past that you're
ready to explore what the meaning of it is. And
I want you to take several deep breaths and create
a safe space for this reflection for you. And
gently ask yourself, what did this experience
teach me about my own strength? How did it deepen
my understanding of others or life? What gifts
or insights emerged from this struggle? How might
this experience help someone else? What meaning
am I ready to create from this pain? Notice how
shifting the why did this happen to me to how
can this serve changes your relationship with
that experience? Gives you a whole new feeling,
whole new meaning. Purpose from pain doesn't
always look the same. Here are some different
ways that people transform their struggles. The
helper. The helper uses their experience to directly
help others facing similar challenges, like me.
Think of addiction counselors who are in recovery
or grief counselors who've lost loved ones. The
advocate. channels their pain into fighting for
systemic change. Parents who lose children to
junk drivers become advocates for stricter odds.
The creator. The creator transforms pain into
art, writing, music, or other creative expressions
that touch others' lives. The teacher. The teacher
shares their wisdom that they gain from their
experience through formal or informal teaching.
The warrior. They fuse their pain to develop
extraordinary resilience and strength that inspires
others. The connector creates communities and
connections for others going through similar
experiences. You might be one type or combination.
I know a few of these, I, resonates with me,
so. But the key is finding the expression that
feels authentic to you. For your homework this
week, I want you to choose one painful experience
from your past and I want you to work through
the five -step purpose -finding process that
I just gave you. Take your time because this
isn't something that you need to rush. Consider
sharing your insights with someone you trust
or journal about how this new perspective on
your pain might influence your future choices.
Look for one small way that you could use your
experience to help someone else this week. Your
pain is not your punishment. It is your preparation.
Not because someone planned it that way, but
because you have the power to transform even
your deepest struggles into sources of strength,
wisdom, and service. Next week, we're exploring
the strength and vulnerability. Until then, remember
that your scars are not signs of weakness. They're
evidence of your survival and they're proof of
your strength. I'm Angela R. Strong and this
has been Transformation Talk with Angela R. Strong,
the Empowered Edge series. Thank you for watching.
I look forward to seeing you next week. If this
resonated with you, like, subscribe, and share.
Have a great week. See you next week.