In a world of change, where do you belong? The
answer's clear, it's time to be strong. Mindful
growth, that's where we thrive. With Angela's
guidance, watch your best self arise. Transform
with strong, reach for the stars. Resilient minds,
that's who we are. No one can mean potential.
with Angela R. Strong, where we transform pain
into purpose and shadows into strength. I'm Angela
R. Strong, and if you're joining us for the first
time, this is episode two of our journey together
towards empowerment and healing. Last week, we
talked about understanding your cycle of pain,
those patterns that keep us trapped in the shadows.
Today, I want to address something that almost
every person on a healing journey struggles with.
Something that can make you feel like you're
failing when you're actually succeeding. I'm
talking about the nonlinear nature of healing.
The fact that your journey doesn't look just
straight line from pain to empowerment, but more
like, well, a maze that goes any every which
way. If you've ever felt frustrated because you
thought you were your past something only to
find yourself triggered once again. If you've
ever wondered why you can feel strong one day
and completely overwhelmed the next. If you've
ever felt like you're taking two steps forward
and one step back or sometimes even three steps
back, this episode is definitely for you. Because
what I'm going to share with you today might
just change everything about how you view your
healing process. I want to start today's episode
by taking you to a morning about six years into
my healing journey. I was sitting in my kitchen.
the same kitchen where I had so many breakthroughs,
where I'd written in my journal about my progress,
where I'd celebrate those small victories. But
this one particular morning, I was sobbing into
my cup of tea. The day before, I'd had what I
thought was a panic attack at work. Not a little
anxiety, a full blown kinked Breathe. World is
ending panic attack over something that rationally
I knew wasn't a real threat. I remember thinking,
what is wrong with me? I've been doing the work.
I've been in therapy. I've read the books. I've
done the exercises and I thought I was healing.
How can I still be having these panic attacks.
I felt like such a failure. Like all the progress
I thought I'd made was just an illusion. Like
I was fundamentally broken and would never truly
heal. Does that sound familiar? Here's what I
didn't understand then, but I do understand it
now. That panic attack was an evidence that I
wasn't healing. It was actually evidence that
I was healing, but it was in a way that I did
not recognize yet. You see, I'd been thinking
about healing like a climbing a mountain. Start
at the bottom, work your way up, reach the top,
and then you're done. Healed, fixed, complete.
But healing isn't climbing. A mountain, it's
not like climbing a mountain. Hilling is like
navigating a maze. Think about the last time
you were in a maze. Maybe a corn maze, you know,
during Halloween time they always come out with
those, or fall they always come out with those
mazes, corn mazes. Or one of those hedge mazes
you see in movies. What's the experience like?
You start walking. and at first you might feel
confident you pick a direction and then you go
but then you hit a dead end so you backtrack
and you try another path sometimes you feel like
you're making progress and then you're suddenly
back where you started sometimes you can see
the hedge over the walls of that hedge and you
get a glimpse of where it is that you're trying
to go. But the path to get there is not clear.
Sometimes you think that you're completely lost,
only to turn a corner and then you realize that
you're closer to the exit than you actually thought.
Sometimes you walk down a path that seems wrong,
but it ends up being exactly the path that you
needed to get to the next section. This is healing.
This is exactly what healing looks like. But
we've been sold this story by, well, meaning
people, but by self -help culture, sometimes
even by therapists. That healing should be linear.
That if you're doing it right, you should see
steady, consistent process, progress. That setbacks
mean that you're doing something wrong. That's
not just false, it's harmful. Because when we
expect linear progress and we experience those
natural ups and downs of healing, we add a layer
of shame and self -judgment that actually slows
down our healing process. Let me tell you why
healing cannot be linear. First, trauma, it doesn't
happen in layers. It happens in networks. Your
brain doesn't store trauma in neat, organized
files. It stores it in interconnected networks
of memory, emotion, sensation, and belief. When
you heal one part, it affects other parts in
unpredictable ways. Second, healing happens on
multiple levels simultaneously. You're not just
healing emotionally. You're healing mentally,
physically, spiritually, relationally. Progress
in one area might temporarily destabilize another
area while it integrates. Third, your system
has its own wisdom timing. Sometimes your nervous
system knows you're not ready to progress or
process certain things. So what does it do? It
protects you by keeping them locked away until
you have more resources. When those things surface
later, it's not regression. It's your system
deciding that you're finally strong enough to
handle them. I want to share a different metaphor
with you. One that's been incredibly helpful
for me and for my clients. Instead of thinking
about healing as a straight line or even as a
maze, I want you to think about it as a spiral
staircase. Picture this. You're walking up the
spiral staircase in a tower. As you walk, you
keep passing those same windows, the same views.
From the outside, it might look like you're going
in circles covering the same ground over and
over, but you're not. Each time that you pass
that window you're at a higher level. The view
might look similar, but you're seeing it from
a different perspective. You have more wisdom,
more tools, more resilience than you had the
last time you were here. This is why you might
find yourself dealing with the same triggers,
the same patterns, the same fears multiple times
on your healing journey. It's not because you're
not making progress. It's because you're ready
to heal that issue at a deeper level. That panic
attack I had in my kitchen, I've dealt with anxiety
before. But this time, I was strong enough to
not just manage those symptoms. I was ready to
understand and heal the root cause of those problems.
My system was saying, okay, Angela, you built
enough stability and resources. Now we can go
deeper. The first time that I dealt with my abandonment
issues, I was just trying to survive them. The
second time, I was learning to set boundaries
around them. The third time, I was ready to understand
where they came from and start healing them.
The fourth time, I was able to help someone else
who was struggling with those same issues. See,
same issue, different level of the spiral. Now,
I know what you might be thinking. Okay, Angela.
I get that healing isn't linear, but that doesn't
make it any less frustrating. How do I deal with
the fact that this is going to take longer and
be messier than I thought? I want to share with
you some of the gifts that come with understanding
and accepting the nonlinear nature of healing.
The first gift is the permission to be human.
when you stop expecting perfection from your
healing process, you can stop expecting perfection
from yourself. You can have bad days without
it meaning you're failing. You can have those
setbacks without it meaning that you're broken.
Give two. Deeper, more lasting change. Quick
fixes rarely last because they don't address
the complexity of human experience. When you
heal in a spiral going deeper each time, the
changes you make are more integrated and more
permanent. Gift three. Wisdom and compassion.
Every time you navigate a challenging period
in your healing, you develop wisdom and compassion.
not only for yourself and for others who are
struggling. This wisdom becomes part of your
strength. Gift four, trusting your own process.
When you stop trying to control the pace and
path of your healing, you start trusting your
own inner wisdom. You learn to listen to what
your system needs instead of forcing what you
think it should need. But the biggest gift, the
gift of presence. When you're not constantly
evaluating whether you're healing fast enough
or correctly enough, you can actually be present
to your life as it is happening to you. You can
appreciate how far you've come. instead of only
focusing on how far you still have to go. So
how do we practically navigate this maze? How
do we maintain hope and momentum when the path
is yet to be clear? There's three essential practices.
Practice number one, patience as a radical act.
In our instant gratification culture, patience
feels almost revolutionary. But patience isn't
passive waiting, it's active trust. It's saying,
I trust that my system knows what it's doing,
even when I don't understand the timeline. Patience
means giving yourself permission to heal at your
own pace. Not the pace that you think you should
heal at, or the pace someone else healed that.
I like to remind myself I'm not behind. I'm not
ahead. I'm exactly where I need to be in this
moment. Practice two. Self -compassion as your
superpower. Self -compassion is not self -pity
or self -indulgence. It's treating yourself with
the same kindness that you'd show a beloved friend
who was struggling. When you hit a setback instead
of saying I should be over this by now try saying
This is really hard and it makes sense that I'm
struggling What do I need right now to take care
of myself? Self -compassion doesn't slow down
healing. It speeds it up by removing the additional
burden of self -criticism Practice three Celebrating
micro victories. In a non -linear journey, the
big victories might be far and few between, right?
But those micro victories happen every single
day, and they're just as important as those big
ones. Maybe today you felt triggered, but you
didn't react the way that you used to. That's
a victory. Maybe you caught yourself. in a negative
self -talk and redirected it. That's a victory.
Maybe you asked for help instead of isolating.
Victory. Maybe you got out of bed on a day that
it felt impossible. Victory. These aren't small
things. This is evidence that you're changing
even when it doesn't feel dramatic. I keep a
victory journal. where I write down one small
thing that I'm proud of myself for each day.
Some days it can be just as simple as I had a
difficult conversation with courage. Other days
it's I took a shower when I really didn't want
to. Both deserve to be celebrated. I want to
challenge you to Redefine what progress looks
like in your healing journey. Progress isn't
just feeling better. Sometimes progress is feeling
your feelings instead of numbing them. Sometimes
progress is setting a boundary even though it's
uncomfortable. Sometimes progress is recognizing
a pattern you've been stuck in for years. Progress
isn't just moving forward. Sometimes progress
is just knowing when to rest, which is something
that I always have to remind myself to do because
I'm constantly going and constantly doing. So
sometimes progress is just asking for help when
you need it. Sometimes progress is saying no
to things that you used to feel obligatory to
do. Progress isn't just individual healing. Sometimes
progress is using your experience to help someone
else. Sometimes progress is breaking generational
patterns. Sometimes progress is simply being
the living example that healing is indeed possible.
The morning that I was crying in the kitchen,
I thought that panic attack was evidence of my
failure. Now I can see it was evidence of my
progress. My system was finally safe enough to
process something that I've been caring for years.
Your setbacks might actually be breakthroughs
in disguise. Your struggles might actually be
your strength developing. Your maze might be
leading you exactly where you need to go. One
of the most Profound shifts in my healing journey
was changing my relationship with time. Instead
of seeing time as something working against me,
measuring how long I've been stuck or how long
it was taking to heal, I started seeing time
as something that was working with me. Time isn't
just duration. It's depth. The time you spend
in your healing process isn't wasted time. It's
time that is invested. You're not just killing
time until you're healed. You're using time to
develop qualities that will serve you for the
rest of your life. Patience, resilience, self
-compassion, wisdom, faith. These things aren't
just nice -to -haves they're your superpowers
That you develop through the process of healing
not just the destination I Want you to consider
this What if your healing journey is? Taking
exactly as long as it needs to take What if the
pace isn't too slow What if it's perfect What
if your system in its infinite wisdom is giving
you exactly the time that you need to develop
into the person that you are meant to be? Have
you ever thought about that? Before we close
I want to remind you of something crucial. Your
maze is unique to you. Your path through healing
will look different from everyone else's and
not like everyone else's and that's just not
Okay, that's how it's supposed to be because
everybody's different. The person whose trauma
looks similar to yours might heal faster or slower
than you. The person who seems to have it all
together might be struggling with things that
you can't even see. The person who's been in
therapy longer might be working on different
things than you are. Comparison in healing is
not just unhelpful is actually very, very harmful.
Your journey is sacred. Your timeline is sacred.
Your process is sacred, trusted, moderate, celebrated.
And remember that the goal isn't to get through
the maze as quickly as possible. The goal is
to navigate it with as much grace, self -compassion,
and wisdom as you can. The goal is to become
the kind of person who can walk through mazes
in healing and in life with both confidence and
courage. As we close today, I want to leave you
with this. You are not behind. You are not broken.
You're not taking too long. You are exactly where
you need to be. learning exactly what you need
to learn. Developing the exact strength and the
wisdom that you need for your path. This maze
of healing isn't a punishment, it's a classroom.
Every dead end teaches you something. Every backtrack
builds resilience. Every moment that you feel
lost makes the moments of clarity more precious.
Your nonlinear healing journey isn't evidence
that you're doing something wrong. It's evidence
that you're doing something brave. It's evidence
that you're not just surviving, you're transforming.
Next week. We're going to talk about building
your personal toolkit for transformation. How
to find the specific strategies and practices
that work for your unique healing journey. Because
what works for one person might not work for
another. That's how I develop calibrated resilience.
Because it's precise to each individual person.
So until then, be patient with yourself. and
celebrate those small victories. I want you to
trust your process and remember that every step
in the maze is a step towards your strength.
I want to thank you for walking through this
maze with me today on Transformation Talk with
Angela R. Strong. And if this episode helped
you reframe your healing journey, I want you
to please subscribe, like, and share this with
someone who might need to hear that their own
nonlinear path is exactly right for them. You
can find show notes, resources, and your free
small victories tracker at www .calibratedresilience
.com. And also remember that your healing journey
is not a race, it's a pilgrimage. Until next
time, I want you to keep honoring your process
and moving from shadows to strength. See you
on the next episode. The trouble won't waken
into legacy, we got the key Unlocking the leader
you're meant to be Mindful, bold and totally
free