Music
Welcome to Transformation Talk with Angela Armstrong.
I'm your host, Angela, and today we're diving deep into one of the most powerful combinations
for personal growth.
And that is the synergy between emotional intelligence and resilience.
You know, I used to believe that being resilient meant being tough, pushing through difficulties
with gritted teeth and keeping emotions at bay.
But through years of research, personal experience, and working with countless clients, I've
discovered something profound.
And that is true resilience isn't about emotional suppression.
It's about emotional mastery.
In our previous episodes, we've explored various aspects of resilience, from mindfulness
practices to aligning our decisions with our core values.
Today we're taking this journey further by understanding how our emotional landscape
shapes our ability to bounce back, adapt, and even thrive in the face of challenges.
Whether you're a leader looking to build a more resilient team, someone navigating personal
transitions, or someone simply seeking to enhance your emotional well-being, today's
episode will provide you with transformative insights and practical tools to elevate both
your emotional intelligence and your resilience.
Remember, this isn't just about surviving life's challenges.
It's about developing the emotional agility to turn those challenges into opportunities
for growth.
Let's begin by reframing our understanding of emotional intelligence, or EQ.
While IQ measures cognitive capabilities, EQ represents something equally valuable,
our ability to navigate the complex terrain of emotions, both within ourselves and in
our interactions with others.
The traditional model of emotional intelligence includes four components, but I want to take
you deeper into each one.
First is self-awareness.
Beyond just recognizing emotions, this is about understanding their origins, identifying
emotional patterns and triggers, recognizing how your emotions influence your thoughts
and behaviors, understanding your emotional heritage, how your upbringing shapes your
emotional responses.
Self-management, developing emotional regulation strategies, creating healthy emotional boundaries,
building emotional resilience through conscious response choices, understanding the difference
between responding and reacting.
Third, social awareness, reading emotional undercurrents in groups and relationships,
understanding cultural and contextual influences on emotions.
Using genuine empathy versus sympathy, recognizing collective emotional patterns.
Four, relationship management, using emotional awareness to deepen connections, navigate
conflicts with emotional intelligence, creating emotional safe spaces for others, building
emotional bridges across differences.
But here's what most people don't realize about emotional intelligence.
It's not just about managing emotions.
It's about leveraging them as data points for deeper understanding and more effective
action.
Let's explore the fascinating neuroscience behind emotional intelligence and resilience.
Research has shown that our emotional brain, which is the limbic system, and our thinking
brain, the prefrontal cortex, are intimately connected.
When we experience stress or strong emotions, our amandala, the brain's emotional center,
can override our rational thinking in what's known as the amandala hijack.
But here's the exciting part.
Through developing emotional intelligence, we can actually strengthen the neural pathways
between our emotional and our rational brains.
I've done research on the recent neuroplasticity and emotional regulation, so let's go over
some of those findings.
Let's start with key findings on neural mechanisms.
With prefrontal amandala connectivity, there's enhanced understanding of how the prefrontal
cortex regions modulate amandala activity during your emotional responses.
There's discovery of specific neural pathways that strengthen with repeated emotional regulating
practices.
There's evidence of structural changes in white matter, tracks connecting PFC and amandala
following emotional regulation training.
Neuroplastic changes.
There's identification of increased gray matter density in anterior cingulate cortex following
mindfulness training.
There is documentation of the enhanced neural network efficiency in emotional regulation
surface after consistent practice.
There's also evidence of rapid synoptic remodeling in responses to emotional regulation exercises.
Clinical applications and interventions.
Religious based approaches have demonstrated increases in prefrontal cortical thickness
following an 8-week mindfulness program.
There is enhanced connectivity between attention networks and emotion centers.
Use amandala reactivity to emotional stimuli after sustained practice.
During cognitive training interventions, there was a development of targeted cognitive exercises
showing promise in strengthening emotional regulation networks.
Evidence of transferable skills from training to real-world emotional challenges.
Documentation of sustained neural changes persisting months after intervention completion.
Age-related considerations specifically for the developmental perspectives.
There's critical periods that were identified for emotional regulation skill development.
Evidence of enhanced plasticity during adolescence for emotional regulation circuits.
There is documentation of successful innovations across different age groups in the aging and
plasticity portion.
There was a preservation of neuroplastic potential in emotional regulation networks throughout
adulthood.
Age-specific adaptations.
Age-specific adaptations in intervention approaches.
Evidence of compensatory neural mechanisms in older adults.
Technological advances in research, specifically neural imaging contributions.
They show the higher resolution mapping of emotional regulation networks.
Real-time visualization of neural changes during regulation attempts.
Enhanced understanding of individual differences in regulation strategies.
In measurement techniques, there was a development of more sensitive measures for detecting subtle
neural changes.
Integration of multiple measurement modalities for comprehensive assessment.
There was also advanced analysis methods for tracking network dynamics.
Future research directions show in emerging areas.
Investigation of epigenetic factors in emotional regulation capacity.
Information of neural immune system interactions.
Development of personalized intervention approaches.
In methodological advances, there are implementation of machine learning for predicting intervention
outcomes.
Development of more precise targeting methods for specific neural circuits.
An integration of multiple measurement modalities for comprehensive assessments.
In specific treatment applications, there is guidelines for optimizing intervention
timing and intensity.
Identification of biomarkers for treatment responsiveness.
Development of targeted interventions for specific regulatory deficits.
And in individual differences, there is a recognition of varying plasticity potential
across individuals.
There is also an importance of personalizing interventions based on neural profiles.
An impact of environmental factors on intervention effectiveness.
All of this science explains why emotionally intelligent people tend to be more resilient.
They develop stronger neural integration where they have better communication between emotional
and rational brain areas.
More effective stress response systems.
Enhance the ability to maintain perspective during challenges.
Improved stress recovery.
They show a faster return to baseline after emotional activation.
Better cortisol regulation.
More effective emotional processing.
Enhance adaptive capacity.
There is a greater flexibility in response to change.
Improved problem solving under pressure.
Better access to creative resources during stress.
Let's translate this understanding into practical action.
I'm going to share some advanced strategies that go beyond basic emotional awareness.
First we have the PAWS framework.
P stands for pause and notice the emotion.
A. Accept the emotion without judgment.
U. Understand its message.
S. Seek the need behind the emotion.
E. Engage with conscious choice.
I'm going to guide you on a real time PAWS exercise.
Welcome to this mindful PAWS practice.
This simple but powerful technique can help you center yourself, regulate your emotions,
and return to the present moment.
I want you to find a comfortable position either seated or standing where you can feel
relaxed but yet alert at the same time.
Keep your eyes closed or open it for this exercise.
P. Pause and present moment.
Take a deep breath in.
Let it out.
Simply stop what you're doing.
Drop your shoulders.
Feel your feet on the ground.
Notice that you're here and now in this moment.
A. Acknowledge.
Notice what's happening in your body right now.
What sensations are present?
What emotions are you feeling?
What thoughts are moving through your mind?
There's no need to change anything.
Just simply acknowledge what's there.
You.
Understand with curiosity.
Bring a gentle curiosity to your experience.
Why might you be feeling this way?
What needs might be present?
What's important to you in this very moment?
Remember you don't need to fix or change anything.
S. Step back.
Imagine taking a step back from your experience.
Create a little bit of space between you and whatever it is that you're feeling.
Notice that you are not your thoughts or your emotions.
You are the awareness observing them.
I want you to feel the spaciousness of this perspective.
E. Engage mindfully.
Now ask yourself, what matters most right now?
What would be the most helpful?
How can I move forward with awareness?
Take a moment to choose your next action, consciously.
Take a one more full breath in.
Know that you can return to this pause practice anytime you need to center yourself.
When you're ready, bring gentle movement back to your body and if you have your eyes closed,
you can open them.
If you're doing a full pause practice, give yourself 5-10 minutes.
If you're doing a brief one, give yourself 1-2 minutes.
Each step takes 30 seconds to 2 minutes depending on how much time you have available.
There are different variations of this.
You have the standing pause, which focuses on your body sensations and your grounding.
The walking pause, you practice it while you're moving mindfully.
The lying down pause, it emphasizes full body relaxation.
If you only have a couple of minutes, then you can do the mini-pause.
Give yourself a brief 30-second check-in with each of those parts.
You can use the pause during transitions, before important conversations.
When you're feeling overwhelmed, as a regular practice, in response to stress before making
decisions.
Some tips for a practice.
Keep it simple.
Trust your experience.
No need for perfection.
Throw it out the window.
Use it regularly, adapt the length that's needed, and use your natural breathing.
Second exercise we have is emotional mapping exercise, where you'll be creating detailed
emotional landscapes, understanding emotional triggers and patterns, developing personalized
response strategies, and building emotional vocabulary.
Third we have advanced self-reflection practices.
You have emotional journaling with pattern analysis, somatic awareness exercises, timeline
therapy techniques, values-based emotional processing.
Fourth, you have relationship enhancement strategies.
There's emotional mirroring techniques, advanced empathy practices, conflict resolution with
emotional awareness.
Building emotional support networks.
Let's explore how to integrate these practices into various life contexts.
First we have your professional setting.
In your professional settings, you lead with emotional intelligence, build resilient teams,
manage emotional dynamics in the workplace, and create psychologically safe environments.
Second you have your personal relationships, deepening emotional connections, navigating
family dynamics, building resilient partnerships, teaching emotional intelligence to your children.
Third you have your personal growth, using emotions as catalysts for change, building
emotional wisdom, developing emotional agility, creating sustainable resilience practices.
Let's address some deeper questions about emotional intelligence and resilience.
We are now at our question and answer portion of the podcast.
Thank you all for the questions by the way.
First question, how can we differentiate between emotional awareness and emotional entanglement?
That is such a great question.
Emotional awareness is like being a skilled observer of your emotional landscape.
While emotional entanglement is being caught in the undertow.
Here's how to differentiate them.
Let's start with emotional awareness.
You can identify and name emotions without being overwhelmed by them.
You observe feelings like watching clouds pass across the sky.
You maintain perspective while acknowledging emotions.
You can step back and analyze your emotional responses.
You make conscious choices about how to respond to feelings.
For example, when feeling angry about a colleague's comment, you can recognize I'm experiencing
anger and choose how to address it constructively, right?
Whereas emotional entanglement, you have emotions that control your behavior rather than inform.
You struggle to separate yourself from the feeling.
Your judgment becomes clouded by emotional intensity.
You react automatically without reflection.
You feel helpless to regulate your emotional state.
For example, the same colleague's comment sends you into a spiral of rage where you
can't faint clearly and react impulsively.
Ways to move from entanglement to awareness is you will need to practice mindfulness to
build observer consciousness.
Use I am experiencing rather than I am language.
Take space between stimulus and response.
Develop emotional vocabulary for nuanced recognition.
Regularly check in with your emotional state.
Second question.
What role does cultural background play in emotional intelligence?
Cultural background profoundly shapes emotional intelligence through value systems.
In your value systems, you have different cultures that prioritize different emotional
expressions.
Some value collective harmony over individual expressions.
Whereas others emphasize direct communication of feelings.
Cultural norms influence acceptable emotional displays.
You also have family traditions that shape emotional learning patterns.
Communication styles.
You have high context versus low context emotional expression.
Varying comfort levels with emotional disclosure.
Different interpretations of non-verbal cues and there's cultural rules about power distance
affecting expression.
You also have diverse approaches to conflict and emotions in different cultures.
Cultural considerations.
Information that EQ looks different across cultures.
There's an importance of cultural humility and emotional understanding.
There's also a need for flexibility in emotional intelligence application.
Value of learning multiple emotional languages.
And cultural trauma impacts on EQ.
Third question.
How can we maintain emotional intelligence during crisis situations?
Some crisis management strategies.
We have the preparation phase.
Build strong emotional baseline awareness.
Create crisis response plans that include emotional check-ins.
Build support networks before they're needed.
Practice stress management techniques also.
And do those regularly.
Identify personal emotional triggers.
During crisis use grounding techniques.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1 sensory exercises is an example of that.
Implement structured emotional check-ins.
Maintain routine for emotional stability.
Practice conscious breathing techniques.
Focus on what's within your control.
From the recovery action stage, you want to process emotions through structured reflection.
Seek support from trusted sources.
Learn from emotional responses during crisis.
Adjust strategies based on experience.
Strengthen emotional resilience through review.
Last question.
What's the relationship between emotional intelligence and authenticity?
Another great question.
The connection between both of those is they have these foundational elements where they
both require self-awareness.
They both involve honest self-reflection.
They both contribute to genuine relationships.
They both support personal growth.
They both require ongoing practice.
Now, here's where you have to have a balancing act between the both of them.
Managing emotions while remaining genuine.
Feeling feelings that are appropriately shown without suppressing them.
Being true to yourself while considering others.
Maintaining professional standards while being authentic.
Navigating social expectations while honoring personal truth.
Some integration strategies for those are developing clear personal values.
Practice conscious emotional regulation.
Choose authentic expression methods.
Balance your vulnerability with boundaries.
That's a very important one.
Find your actions within a truth.
The key points for integration.
Emotional intelligence enhances authentic expression.
Authenticity strengthens emotional understanding.
Both skills support each other's development.
Aware requires perfection, they both allow growth.
Remember that.
Together they create a genuine connection.
As we conclude this deep dive into emotional intelligence and resilience, I want to leave
you with a powerful truth.
Your emotions are not obstacles to overcome.
They are a guidance system for living a more authentic and resilient life.
I invite you to commit to one emotional practice this week.
Start small, but make sure you start now.
Whether it's the pause framework we discussed or simply expanding your emotional vocabulary,
each step forward strengthens your resilience muscle.
For additional resources, including the emotional mapping template and the guided exercises
we discussed today, you can join our Facebook community that we just started.
It is called Calibrated Living Network.
Again, that's our Facebook community.
It's a private, calibrated living network where you can also share your journey and
connect with others on this path of emotional growth.
I made it private so that you are able to share your thoughts and your feelings with
the community that you can trust.
You can reach me at Angela at InzlaRStrong.com to ask questions for coaching sessions or to
book me.
Follow me on Instagram at InzlaRStrong.
Follow me on YouTube under Calibrated Resilience, where you can also find this podcast.
Or you can find me on Facebook under InzlaRStrong.
Our website is www.calibratedresilience.com.
Next week, we'll explore the mind-body connection, building physical resilience where we'll discover
how our physical well-being interplays with our emotional and our real-life resilience.
This is InzlaRStrong reminding you that every emotion that you experience is an opportunity
to grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient.
Until next time, embrace your emotional journey with courage and curiosity.
Have a great week!