WEBVTT 00:00:02.839 --> 00:00:05.559 The trick is to make sure the water's ice cold 00:00:05.559 --> 00:00:09.339 before you put the spaghetti in. Right, so how 00:00:09.339 --> 00:00:12.779 long is it meant to take to cook then? How long 00:00:12.779 --> 00:00:13.980 are you willing to wait for the best spaghetti 00:00:13.980 --> 00:00:16.539 of your life? Maximum five minutes. Okay, well 00:00:16.539 --> 00:00:18.019 it's going to take a little bit longer than that 00:00:18.019 --> 00:00:19.199 because we're going to have to wait for the sun 00:00:19.199 --> 00:00:22.879 to come up. Right, I've been wondering why we're 00:00:22.879 --> 00:00:27.640 doing Italian cooking lessons in the dark. Is 00:00:27.640 --> 00:00:29.980 this like a weird thing or is this like properly 00:00:29.980 --> 00:00:30.780 what we're meant to be doing? It's not a weird 00:00:30.780 --> 00:00:32.979 thing. It's not a weird thing. It feels weird. 00:00:33.100 --> 00:00:35.039 It's not a weird thing, don't worry. It's not 00:00:35.039 --> 00:00:37.179 a weird thing. The Italians have never seen the 00:00:37.179 --> 00:00:40.340 sun. You what? The Italians have never seen the 00:00:40.340 --> 00:00:42.520 sun. Just because they show it as lit up on the 00:00:42.520 --> 00:00:45.179 map doesn't mean they get light. No. Right. It's 00:00:45.179 --> 00:00:47.960 all a tourism trap. I feel like I've made a mistake. 00:00:48.079 --> 00:00:51.460 I feel like I'm doing a pasta lesson with like 00:00:51.460 --> 00:00:54.340 conspiracy theorists or something. We are all 00:00:54.340 --> 00:00:57.859 Italians. All of us have never seen the sun. 00:00:58.200 --> 00:01:03.479 My name's Giovanni. My name is Martin. And I'm 00:01:03.479 --> 00:01:05.739 Kyle. Right. Well, lovely to meet you. Thank 00:01:05.739 --> 00:01:07.379 you. Lovely to meet you, too. What's your name? 00:01:07.799 --> 00:01:10.599 My name's Deirdre. And honestly, I... What an 00:01:10.599 --> 00:01:13.959 Italian name. I'm not Italian. Have you considered 00:01:13.959 --> 00:01:16.579 citizenship? Right, I'm not Italian. You're awfully 00:01:16.579 --> 00:01:20.480 pale. With long hands for digging. Like this 00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:24.140 wet spaghetti, not like this hard and dry spaghetti. 00:01:24.319 --> 00:01:27.340 Do you know what? I have been to Italy before, 00:01:27.439 --> 00:01:29.680 and I'm going to be honest with you. Oh, did 00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:34.819 you meet Giovanni Junior, my son? Stop bringing 00:01:34.819 --> 00:01:37.340 up your son at the lesson. You'll never find 00:01:37.340 --> 00:01:39.799 him. You'll never find your son. Why'd you leave 00:01:39.799 --> 00:01:42.120 if you wanted to find your son? Sorry, dear. 00:01:42.359 --> 00:01:45.040 He's thriving. Right, there's a lot going on. 00:01:45.060 --> 00:01:47.000 I'm just waiting for the pasta, if I'm being 00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:50.219 honest. It won't cook until the magma finds the 00:01:50.219 --> 00:01:52.859 pot. The magma? Oh, yeah, we're deep underground. 00:01:53.060 --> 00:02:25.319 The elevator went deep. We've just been out for 00:02:25.319 --> 00:02:27.400 dinner. Don't want to hear it. It was massive, 00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:29.539 wasn't it? It was really. It was actually lovely. 00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:32.300 Will you all shut up? I'm trying to watch this 00:02:32.300 --> 00:02:35.120 show. We've all seen Grease. We're just waiting 00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:38.300 for the songs. We're waiting for them in silence. 00:02:38.639 --> 00:02:40.280 Well, no, we'll have to get ourselves a bit hyped 00:02:40.280 --> 00:02:41.840 up. I don't know if I can... Get hyped up at 00:02:41.840 --> 00:02:43.780 dinner. That's what the dinner part of the show 00:02:43.780 --> 00:02:46.259 is for. I feel like the dinner was eaten. Food 00:02:46.259 --> 00:02:50.060 doesn't excite me. Music does. I'm tired of potatoes. 00:02:50.580 --> 00:02:52.360 You didn't have to order potatoes. Hasselback? 00:02:52.699 --> 00:02:54.770 I don't... I don't even know what that is. Why 00:02:54.770 --> 00:02:57.009 did I order that, dear? You ordered a... I ordered 00:02:57.009 --> 00:02:58.770 the Hasselback potatoes, but I don't understand 00:02:58.770 --> 00:03:01.389 what it is. They brought him sea bass. I truly 00:03:01.389 --> 00:03:04.729 just don't care. I just... When's the songs? 00:03:04.930 --> 00:03:06.729 That's what I want to know. They are soon. Are 00:03:06.729 --> 00:03:08.710 they happening? Are we still doing the songs? 00:03:08.750 --> 00:03:10.870 I am tight. Are you guys going to sing along? 00:03:10.990 --> 00:03:14.210 Can we ask the waiter? Hello? Are we still having 00:03:14.210 --> 00:03:17.169 the songs? Is this still happening? Are you going 00:03:17.169 --> 00:03:18.770 to sing along? This isn't a sing -along. I'm 00:03:18.770 --> 00:03:20.550 singing along. You're not singing along. I'm 00:03:20.550 --> 00:03:22.960 singing... Well... Why are the words in the program 00:03:22.960 --> 00:03:25.180 if we're not singing along? This isn't church. 00:03:25.419 --> 00:03:28.400 Answer me that. We can read along with it. They're 00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:30.520 not going to ask us to stand. Yeah, but it's 00:03:30.520 --> 00:04:11.430 my church, in a way. This is your fault, you 00:04:11.430 --> 00:04:13.289 know. It can't possibly. I know you booked both 00:04:13.289 --> 00:04:15.629 of those movies out that you swapped the CDs. 00:04:15.870 --> 00:04:18.189 This is very inconvenient. I swapped the CDs. 00:04:18.699 --> 00:04:19.819 I'm not saying you're doing it intentionally. 00:04:20.279 --> 00:04:21.879 It's very inconvenient. Yeah, of course. I'm 00:04:21.879 --> 00:04:24.100 inconvenient. It's inconvenient. I feel inconvenient. 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:26.480 But I think there's somebody here amongst us. 00:04:26.540 --> 00:04:27.759 Somebody here amongst us. Were you trying to 00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:29.480 learn the songs in advance? Is that what it is? 00:04:29.579 --> 00:04:31.759 It's not. You were taking it out and you were 00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:33.819 trying to learn the songs just in case. By looking 00:04:33.819 --> 00:04:36.019 at the CDs. I took the CDs out of the box and 00:04:36.019 --> 00:04:40.399 I osmosized lyrics into my mind from looking 00:04:40.399 --> 00:04:42.759 at the CDs. Yeah, you admit it then. No, I'm 00:04:42.759 --> 00:04:44.540 not admitting it. I'm saying that it's an insane 00:04:44.540 --> 00:04:47.579 proposition. It's an insane proposition for you 00:04:47.579 --> 00:04:51.470 to say Shut up. Shut up, both of you. You know, 00:04:51.509 --> 00:04:54.389 all I said was, I'm going for dinner and a show. 00:04:54.490 --> 00:04:56.670 And you guys said, sure, when are we leaving? 00:04:56.769 --> 00:04:59.069 It wasn't an invite. Of course you said that. 00:04:59.149 --> 00:05:00.490 I just wanted a quiet night. Why would you have 00:05:00.490 --> 00:05:01.750 told us that? Why would you say if you're not 00:05:01.750 --> 00:05:03.370 inviting us? So you know I'm not going to be 00:05:03.370 --> 00:05:05.829 back till late. That was all. You don't live 00:05:05.829 --> 00:05:08.709 with us. We don't care what time you go home. 00:05:08.910 --> 00:05:10.949 Why did you tell us that you were doing this 00:05:10.949 --> 00:05:12.889 if it wasn't for us to come with you? I get worried. 00:05:13.029 --> 00:05:16.230 It is true. I do get worried. I get worried. 00:05:16.430 --> 00:05:18.050 also, of course I do. It's true, you get worried. 00:05:18.089 --> 00:05:19.910 Yeah, I get worried. You know what? I'm not really 00:05:19.910 --> 00:05:22.110 worried. He's worried. I look in through the 00:05:22.110 --> 00:05:24.370 window because he's the one who's worried. You 00:05:24.370 --> 00:05:26.230 look in through my window. I get worried. We 00:05:26.230 --> 00:05:28.009 get worried. We do look in the window just to 00:05:28.009 --> 00:05:29.509 see if you're okay. Okay, you know what? We have 00:05:29.509 --> 00:05:31.269 a rota. This is why I said I'm going to be out 00:05:31.269 --> 00:05:33.189 because I'm going to be in a situation where 00:05:33.189 --> 00:05:36.430 my phone will be on silent for two hours and 00:05:36.430 --> 00:05:37.129 twelve minutes. Why is your phone on silent? 00:05:37.129 --> 00:05:38.949 Because then we don't know if you're okay. Because 00:05:38.949 --> 00:05:40.610 I'm watching a movie. I want to know if you're 00:05:40.610 --> 00:05:45.319 fine. I didn't swap the discs. What? You definitely 00:05:45.319 --> 00:05:47.379 swapped the discs. I didn't swap the discs. You 00:05:47.379 --> 00:05:49.259 do this all the time. I wanted to play Mario 00:05:49.259 --> 00:05:51.500 Kart and instead it was Zelda. It's a different 00:05:51.500 --> 00:05:54.160 game. Have you been osmosising Zelda? Is that 00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:56.019 what's been happening? Are you trying to get 00:05:56.019 --> 00:05:58.480 that green man into your body again? I had friends 00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:00.879 over. We can't play Zelda together. Why not? 00:06:01.160 --> 00:06:02.920 Because it's a one player game. We all wanted 00:06:02.920 --> 00:06:04.060 to play Mario Kart. It's about sharing the experience. 00:06:04.279 --> 00:06:06.279 You embarrassed me. It's about sharing the experience. 00:06:06.360 --> 00:06:08.339 You pass the controllers. You have a few laughs. 00:06:09.129 --> 00:06:12.050 One of you fights the big guy with the name that 00:06:12.050 --> 00:06:14.230 begins with G. I've never seen you fight the 00:06:14.230 --> 00:06:19.990 big guy that begins with G. Oh. It's Gallendorf. 00:06:53.639 --> 00:07:05.079 It isn't. Folks, I'm a bit worried because it 00:07:05.079 --> 00:07:08.180 feels like you have not left this place and you 00:07:08.180 --> 00:07:11.000 think you're in Italy. And you're really not. 00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:14.439 We're not in Italy. We're in an Italian restaurant. 00:07:14.740 --> 00:07:18.180 I understand that. I really do. But you don't 00:07:18.180 --> 00:07:20.519 sound very Italian. I've never seen Italian. 00:07:23.509 --> 00:07:26.490 I'm most Italian guy. What's wrong, Martin? I 00:07:26.490 --> 00:07:29.790 just don't appreciate being said. I don't sound 00:07:29.790 --> 00:07:32.149 like I'm Italian. I'm clearly Italian. You don't 00:07:32.149 --> 00:07:35.009 sound Italian. I'm like, okay, I'm not from here. 00:07:35.149 --> 00:07:37.230 I've just come over here for this workshop. You're 00:07:37.230 --> 00:07:40.129 not from Italy either. I'm not from Italy. No, 00:07:40.230 --> 00:07:42.649 I'm not from Italy. You could have thought me. 00:07:43.310 --> 00:07:46.250 I suppose you want one of those fake accents. 00:07:46.410 --> 00:07:47.930 I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to denigrate 00:07:47.930 --> 00:07:49.990 myself. Don't wave your hands around. Right. 00:07:50.089 --> 00:07:52.709 I came over here just to do this workshop a bit 00:07:52.709 --> 00:07:55.850 of fun because, you know, I am a chef, so I'm 00:07:55.850 --> 00:07:58.449 trying to get better at Italian cuisine. Thank 00:07:58.449 --> 00:08:00.250 you. No worries. Looks like you've got a bit 00:08:00.250 --> 00:08:04.069 of a bubble there. Oh, that's nice. I'm a bit 00:08:04.069 --> 00:08:07.889 concerned because it shouldn't... As a chef, 00:08:07.990 --> 00:08:11.290 I do know that, like, pasta does not take that 00:08:11.290 --> 00:08:14.319 long to cook. And if you have... Takes more than 00:08:14.319 --> 00:08:16.920 five minutes. Yeah, you haven't waited on Magma 00:08:16.920 --> 00:08:19.779 before. No, I haven't, if I'm being honest. I 00:08:19.779 --> 00:08:22.279 haven't. But it is a bit worrying because we 00:08:22.279 --> 00:08:24.860 shouldn't be this close to Magma, if I'm being 00:08:24.860 --> 00:08:27.060 honest. I wouldn't be worried about ourselves. 00:08:27.199 --> 00:08:30.660 I'd be worried about a patron's 14 stories higher 00:08:30.660 --> 00:08:34.100 than us. So is this how this restaurant works? 00:08:34.120 --> 00:08:36.889 You take... Take their orders. You take... OK. 00:08:36.990 --> 00:08:40.009 Go down 14 stories into the Earth's core. Is 00:08:40.009 --> 00:08:43.730 this via sort of steps or is this via kind of 00:08:43.730 --> 00:08:47.409 an escalator or a lift? Remember that black bag 00:08:47.409 --> 00:08:49.929 we put over your head? I do, and I was a bit 00:08:49.929 --> 00:08:52.129 concerned then as well, if I'm being honest. 00:08:52.309 --> 00:08:55.190 Smelled some spices, did it not? That's a spice 00:08:55.190 --> 00:08:58.549 bag. Sorry, I just need a bag back as well. Yeah, 00:08:58.549 --> 00:09:02.169 you can have it. Oh, excuse me, it is all about... 00:09:02.440 --> 00:09:06.320 Alberto, excuse me being late. I cannot help 00:09:06.320 --> 00:09:10.399 but hear this new chef. Sounds as if she does 00:09:10.399 --> 00:09:14.100 not believe in our slow -cooked spaghetti. Just 00:09:14.100 --> 00:09:18.480 to clarify, just to clarify, I don't work here. 00:09:18.620 --> 00:09:21.759 I'm simply here for a workshop, all right? Just 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:24.059 a simple student who for some reason, Alberto, 00:09:24.419 --> 00:09:25.840 you're not going to believe this, for some reason, 00:09:25.840 --> 00:09:29.289 Alberto, I could laugh. Alberto, this student 00:09:29.289 --> 00:09:31.710 has very presumptuous ways, has come to a school 00:09:31.710 --> 00:09:34.370 and yet seems to want to school the teachers. 00:09:34.490 --> 00:09:37.330 Is that correct? No, no, I'm just worried because 00:09:37.330 --> 00:09:40.090 honestly, we're underground. We're cooking with 00:09:40.090 --> 00:09:42.850 magma. Yeah, fancy. And you're blindfolded. Well, 00:09:42.909 --> 00:09:44.570 you didn't even blindfold me. You put an hood 00:09:44.570 --> 00:09:47.129 over my head. And it's a bit worrying because 00:09:47.129 --> 00:09:50.730 it doesn't feel like authentic. Italian cuisine. 00:09:50.850 --> 00:09:55.070 It feels a bit more kidnappy. Alberto is so pleased 00:09:55.070 --> 00:09:58.129 you used the word feel. This is how old cooking 00:09:58.129 --> 00:10:01.149 should be done. You want your lights and your 00:10:01.149 --> 00:10:05.070 ovens. What about the magma and the spaghetti? 00:10:05.070 --> 00:10:08.250 That is a slow cook with your art and not your 00:10:08.250 --> 00:10:14.710 impure heat from impure sauces. Believe Alberto 00:10:14.710 --> 00:10:19.929 and his team of... Yes, Alberto is from our Yorkshire 00:10:19.929 --> 00:10:23.110 division. And the kidnapping is a bit of an English 00:10:23.110 --> 00:10:25.129 tradition I know. And for what it's worth, there's 00:10:25.129 --> 00:10:26.570 nothing more Italian than cooking underground. 00:10:26.970 --> 00:10:29.809 For the pasta came from flour, which came from 00:10:29.809 --> 00:10:31.190 the corn, which came from the earth, which came 00:10:31.190 --> 00:10:33.669 from the stone. Okay, that's a lot of steps. 00:10:34.370 --> 00:10:36.029 You want a lot of steps, you should go to the 00:10:36.029 --> 00:10:38.769 Leaning Tower of Pisa, which we have, but inverted, 00:10:38.830 --> 00:10:41.509 so the top is at the bottom. Okay. But it's right 00:10:41.509 --> 00:10:44.059 over here. Well, that's... lovely to know it's 00:10:44.059 --> 00:10:47.200 nice to know when i hopefully leave this place 00:10:47.200 --> 00:10:49.799 you can leave whenever you want you will oh no 00:10:49.799 --> 00:10:52.559 i am hoping i am i am but when you say that it 00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:56.080 feels a bit weird but i do feel like i am here 00:10:56.080 --> 00:10:59.259 to learn but i think you know a good step for 00:10:59.259 --> 00:11:02.679 you as a kitchen would to have an oven you know 00:11:03.450 --> 00:11:05.889 How long are the customers meant to wait for 00:11:05.889 --> 00:11:09.809 their food? Deirdre, first lesson of this. Deirdre. 00:11:09.929 --> 00:11:12.289 Sorry, Deirdre. First lesson of this. No one 00:11:12.289 --> 00:11:13.750 looked perfectly reasonable. It's just a bit 00:11:13.750 --> 00:11:16.289 groovy, doesn't it? I'm sorry. I've got distracted 00:11:16.289 --> 00:11:18.269 by it. I mean, we're wasting valuable cooking 00:11:18.269 --> 00:11:20.590 time. But first lesson of Italian cooking school 00:11:20.590 --> 00:11:24.129 is to stir and also watch the magma because it's 00:11:24.129 --> 00:11:26.850 eaten the entire pot and the food's ruined, really. 00:11:36.909 --> 00:11:40.710 but there's nothing better than a stout after 00:11:40.710 --> 00:11:45.049 a hard day's work. Ooh, now I don't know about 00:11:45.049 --> 00:11:48.710 that. I'm having a nice white wine and I'm feeling 00:11:48.710 --> 00:11:53.230 relaxed. It may relax you, but there's nothing 00:11:53.230 --> 00:11:56.350 that beats the creaminess of a stout. I don't 00:11:56.350 --> 00:11:59.009 want creaminess after a long day. Why would you 00:11:59.009 --> 00:12:01.870 want creaminess? You want something like a soft 00:12:01.870 --> 00:12:05.490 lullaby. Oh, no, have you been at the ragged? 00:12:06.099 --> 00:12:09.700 depths of bits as I have. You need to smooth 00:12:09.700 --> 00:12:14.259 the joints from the inside with some creamy stout. 00:12:14.440 --> 00:12:17.039 Now don't you tell me about sore joints. I've 00:12:17.039 --> 00:12:19.240 been a rodeo clown all my life and my joints 00:12:19.240 --> 00:12:21.539 are sore than anything you've ever felt. I don't 00:12:21.539 --> 00:12:23.700 know if you've ever been kicked by a mule, but 00:12:23.700 --> 00:12:26.600 a bull is ten times worse. I've never been kicked 00:12:26.600 --> 00:12:29.039 by a mule, but I've been shattered up by a few 00:12:29.039 --> 00:12:34.379 arses. And that means I'd better cream. After 00:12:34.379 --> 00:12:39.919 a long day of having those asses on you, day 00:12:39.919 --> 00:12:44.019 in, day out, there's nothing better. Gentlemen, 00:12:44.559 --> 00:12:46.639 have you decided if you'd like to order food? 00:12:47.139 --> 00:12:52.220 Now, one second. That hilarious asses joke really 00:12:52.220 --> 00:12:54.039 got me grinning, and I haven't been looking at 00:12:54.039 --> 00:12:56.200 the menu. I haven't looked at the menu either. 00:12:56.259 --> 00:12:58.980 I was thinking of that joke for a while. Have 00:12:58.980 --> 00:13:01.279 you now? I thought you seemed distracted. I'll 00:13:01.279 --> 00:13:03.299 give you a few more minutes. Oh, thanks. Thank 00:13:03.299 --> 00:13:08.559 you. A rodeo. Yeah. All my life. Real bull or 00:13:08.559 --> 00:13:11.000 the ones that you just press a button and it 00:13:11.000 --> 00:13:13.840 spins around? Oh, real bull. They don't need 00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:16.299 clowns for the mechanical ones. Taking all my 00:13:16.299 --> 00:13:19.919 work. You're a clown too. What? You're a clown 00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:24.080 too. Rodeo clown. I distract the bull. Isn't 00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:26.950 that what the Spanish boys do? No, no, they fight 00:13:26.950 --> 00:13:29.909 them. I distract them between the rounds. Between 00:13:29.909 --> 00:13:33.350 the rounds? Between the rounds. Or if your Spanish 00:13:33.350 --> 00:13:36.110 fella fell to the ground. They don't like it 00:13:36.110 --> 00:13:37.809 when they get trampled, so I distract them. Oh, 00:13:37.929 --> 00:13:40.129 for the children so they don't see the blood 00:13:40.129 --> 00:13:44.710 and viscera. Ah, yeah. Have you decided if you'd 00:13:44.710 --> 00:13:47.049 like to order food yet? Give us a minute. We're 00:13:47.049 --> 00:13:49.870 getting to somewhere here. A few more minutes, 00:13:49.909 --> 00:13:51.250 please. I'll give you a few more minutes, yes. 00:13:51.490 --> 00:13:53.549 Will you actually give us a few minutes, or will 00:13:53.549 --> 00:13:55.590 you be hovering? Yeah, I'd be hovering right 00:13:55.590 --> 00:14:02.669 over here. Clown rodeo. Rodeo clown. Sorry. A 00:14:02.669 --> 00:14:05.289 clown rodeo. Now, I've never been in one of those. 00:14:06.029 --> 00:14:09.049 Seem like great fun. I feel like I've been living 00:14:09.049 --> 00:14:11.549 under a rock. Have I never talked about my work? 00:14:11.990 --> 00:14:13.649 How long have we known each other for, Derek? 00:14:13.649 --> 00:14:16.769 Well, usually we just talk about wine and stouts 00:14:16.769 --> 00:14:19.990 and back and forth. That's true. I do like a 00:14:19.990 --> 00:14:22.710 pattern. Yeah? Can I just leave these specials 00:14:22.710 --> 00:14:27.440 boards with you gentlemen? No. Okay. You know, 00:14:27.620 --> 00:14:30.460 I never asked what you've done. I dig trenches. 00:14:31.080 --> 00:14:34.519 Trenches? Pits. I know what they are. Colloquially, 00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:38.620 they're also known as drains. Shucks. So any 00:14:38.620 --> 00:14:40.500 kind of digging, really? Any kind of digging. 00:14:40.840 --> 00:14:46.059 Grave? No. No. So not any? No. The trains? No, 00:14:46.100 --> 00:14:49.379 I don't work with dead. The trains, that's not 00:14:49.379 --> 00:14:51.960 the dead. Oh, the trains? The trains. They're 00:14:51.960 --> 00:14:59.039 a tunnel. So, yes. Oh. Nice. Um, sirs, the kitchen's 00:14:59.039 --> 00:15:00.860 about to close, so if you'd like to place an 00:15:00.860 --> 00:15:03.279 order, you'd have to do it quite soon. I'll have 00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:06.299 a thick stout. You know what? In the spirit of 00:15:06.299 --> 00:15:08.200 getting to know you better, I'll take a thick 00:15:08.200 --> 00:15:11.559 stout, too. I'm afraid we're all out of stouts. 00:15:11.899 --> 00:15:23.509 I do not care for this establishment. I'm sorry. 00:15:23.590 --> 00:15:26.950 Terry, no. I just have to do it. The house is 00:15:26.950 --> 00:15:30.850 going to be stinking. Is Muscles called for something? 00:15:31.289 --> 00:15:33.649 Are they talking about... Do you think they're 00:15:33.649 --> 00:15:35.409 talking about drugs? I thought they were talking 00:15:35.409 --> 00:15:39.090 about one of the henchmen. Oh, Mr. Muscles. Mr. 00:15:39.230 --> 00:15:40.809 Muscles, but they probably just say Mr. Muscles. 00:15:40.870 --> 00:15:42.590 I think on this occasion it is just Muscles. 00:15:42.730 --> 00:15:45.350 Okay, we'll keep listening. Garlic cream. Garlic 00:15:45.350 --> 00:15:49.269 cream. It's cocaine. Garlic cream. It's not going 00:15:49.269 --> 00:15:51.809 to cancel out the shellfish allergy. Come on 00:15:51.809 --> 00:15:55.629 now, Terry. I can't help it. It's like it gets 00:15:55.629 --> 00:15:58.330 a hold of me. As soon as I see the word muscles 00:15:58.330 --> 00:16:05.669 on the menu, I get a quiver down below. So, Terry, 00:16:05.730 --> 00:16:08.830 when the muscles come out, I'll take them. You 00:16:08.830 --> 00:16:12.129 can take my cage. Have we wiretapped the right 00:16:12.129 --> 00:16:15.570 people? Is this all code? I think so. I think 00:16:15.570 --> 00:16:18.250 that is the crime family. Who set up the wiretap 00:16:18.250 --> 00:16:22.539 here? Was it you? No, it was Bleven. Oh. Okay, 00:16:22.539 --> 00:16:25.460 yeah, well... Why do you look like that? It's 00:16:25.460 --> 00:16:28.639 bleeding. Bleeding's trying its best. I know. 00:16:29.320 --> 00:16:50.720 There you go. He's had it now. I'm quite hungry. 00:16:51.309 --> 00:16:53.350 I'm getting a bit hungry too, to be honest. Do 00:16:53.350 --> 00:16:54.330 you think we can be safe to leave the van? I 00:16:54.330 --> 00:16:56.389 don't think they're going to talk about any crimes. 00:16:56.809 --> 00:16:58.710 Are you sure they're not talking about crimes 00:16:58.710 --> 00:17:01.129 right now? I don't think so. It's gotten really 00:17:01.129 --> 00:17:06.289 cerebral, the crime speak. I think they're just 00:17:06.289 --> 00:17:09.589 talking about dinner. Okay, but maybe they're 00:17:09.589 --> 00:17:12.009 talking about how they whacked Mr. Muscles. Maybe 00:17:12.009 --> 00:17:13.670 that's what the quiver was about. I don't fucking 00:17:13.670 --> 00:17:16.869 know. I've been on this job two weeks. You've 00:17:16.869 --> 00:17:19.220 been in this van for two weeks? Yeah. Look, I 00:17:19.220 --> 00:17:22.519 didn't want to ask with smell. Sorry. No, sorry. 00:17:22.619 --> 00:17:25.700 No one should treat you like this. Come with 00:17:25.700 --> 00:17:29.119 me. I live three streets away. Use my shower. 00:17:29.559 --> 00:17:33.660 I'll make you a big plate of chips. No, you have 00:17:33.660 --> 00:17:36.019 to listen to me. I've been sitting in silence 00:17:36.019 --> 00:17:39.160 for a minute now. No, no, no. Tim Carey. Who 00:17:39.160 --> 00:17:40.339 the fuck is that? I don't know. Who is that? 00:17:40.420 --> 00:17:42.119 That could be someone important. Do you know 00:17:42.119 --> 00:17:46.160 that film where he ends up going in a boat? He's 00:17:46.160 --> 00:18:06.579 scared of water. Oh, this is Mr. Popper's Penguins. 00:18:09.859 --> 00:18:11.859 They're both wrong, it's Mr. Popper's Penguins. 00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:19.660 Code for cocaine, I think. Yeah, do you want 00:18:19.660 --> 00:18:22.140 to bust in? I've been in here for two weeks. 00:18:22.220 --> 00:18:24.599 I don't think my legs work anymore. Oh my God. 00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:27.920 But if you want to call the big wigs in. The 00:18:27.920 --> 00:18:33.180 big wigs? The judges? No. Convict. The big, the 00:18:33.180 --> 00:18:36.779 pigs. Big, the pigs. The big pigs. You call our 00:18:36.779 --> 00:18:57.970 superiors big pigs? We definitely can hear us, 00:18:57.990 --> 00:19:01.490 right? It does seem like... Because that was 00:19:01.490 --> 00:19:04.190 a bit odd. Yeah, thematically. And Blevyn isn't 00:19:04.190 --> 00:19:10.410 very good with technology. Maybe they're just 00:19:10.410 --> 00:19:17.089 lonely. Two lonely men. in your lower regions. 00:19:17.789 --> 00:19:22.190 That's where the mics are. The mics? Plevin miked 00:19:22.190 --> 00:19:24.490 them around the lower tummy. Around the groin. 00:19:24.549 --> 00:19:27.670 Oh, Plevin. That's typical Plevin. Typical Plevin. 00:19:27.789 --> 00:19:30.170 I thought I could believe in him, but he's just 00:19:30.170 --> 00:19:40.390 Plevin. I could make it better than this. What, 00:19:40.430 --> 00:19:44.079 this bastard? Yeah. I'll cook you up a pasta 00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:47.619 you'd never believe. I mean, I don't exactly 00:19:47.619 --> 00:19:50.099 deny it. I ain't ever had your food before. This 00:19:50.099 --> 00:19:52.299 was supposed to be a business meeting, but an 00:19:52.299 --> 00:19:55.680 interesting opening gambit there. Bit bold to 00:19:55.680 --> 00:19:57.900 come into a chef's restaurant and start telling 00:19:57.900 --> 00:19:59.960 everybody how to make pasta. Here, look, I'm 00:19:59.960 --> 00:20:01.779 keeping my voice down. I'm just talking to two 00:20:01.779 --> 00:20:04.099 of you. But you know what? If I had you in my 00:20:04.099 --> 00:20:08.440 kitchen, I'd cook you up a storm. Long pastas, 00:20:08.440 --> 00:20:10.920 short pastas, fat pastas, thin pastas. I'd be 00:20:10.920 --> 00:20:12.740 making them. You know they all have names. Don't. 00:20:12.759 --> 00:20:14.920 Every single pasta. Don't. They've got a taglet. 00:20:15.019 --> 00:20:19.539 They've got a sputicana, a little pradoont. Can 00:20:19.539 --> 00:20:21.960 you describe the wee pradoont to me? It's the 00:20:21.960 --> 00:20:25.440 small, sort of curly, whirly guy. A little button 00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:27.579 of a pasta. A little action man bow tie guy. 00:20:27.700 --> 00:20:30.180 A wee buttons. I know another wee buttons. Don't 00:20:30.180 --> 00:20:31.759 like the achimambu ties. They're disgusting. 00:20:32.119 --> 00:20:34.440 They're stuck in my throat. I don't chew my pasta 00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:36.680 now. Call it fouglian. Best way to get the sauce 00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:38.440 into your gut is just by swallowing it whole. 00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:40.779 I've heard this, but listen, you're the PR guy. 00:20:40.920 --> 00:20:43.740 I don't know how you sell pasta sauces. We're 00:20:43.740 --> 00:20:46.799 simple chefs. Simple chefs. If we're getting 00:20:46.799 --> 00:20:49.380 down to the meat of it, the way to sell any business 00:20:49.380 --> 00:20:52.390 is by talking about how to swallow pasta. Or 00:20:52.390 --> 00:20:54.390 swallow any sort of carbohydrate, if we're really 00:20:54.390 --> 00:20:56.049 talking about it. So you've had success with 00:20:56.049 --> 00:20:57.809 other carbohydrates before. Maybe your breads, 00:20:57.809 --> 00:21:00.250 maybe your rolls, maybe your rice. I don't do 00:21:00.250 --> 00:21:02.009 bread now. You don't do breads. Don't do breads. 00:21:02.309 --> 00:21:03.930 Carbohydrate guy, you don't do breads. No, I'm 00:21:03.930 --> 00:21:05.670 a potato and rice man myself. Potato and rice. 00:21:05.730 --> 00:21:08.329 It's starch. Potatoes are starch. Yeah, but there's 00:21:08.329 --> 00:21:10.450 carbs in there. Is there not? That's close enough. 00:21:10.829 --> 00:21:12.769 Is there not carbs in potatoes? What about your 00:21:12.769 --> 00:21:15.569 crisps? You do crisps? You swallow crisps? No. 00:21:15.630 --> 00:21:17.170 You swallow crisps? You can't swallow them whole. 00:21:17.390 --> 00:21:19.390 If you can't swallow it whole, I can't be representing 00:21:19.390 --> 00:21:22.299 you. Listen, I feel like we got off to a bit 00:21:22.299 --> 00:21:23.960 of a rough start here. Maybe we order a little 00:21:23.960 --> 00:21:25.839 bottle of red, a bottle of white. Yeah, yeah. 00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:27.460 Whatever kind of mood you're in tonight. You 00:21:27.460 --> 00:21:29.140 know, we'll get something from the bar. Yeah, 00:21:29.140 --> 00:21:33.059 right. Well, it was an accident. This guy spits 00:21:33.059 --> 00:21:35.160 bars like nobody's business. All right, all right. 00:21:35.160 --> 00:21:36.599 But we might be able to use that. We might be 00:21:36.599 --> 00:21:38.099 able to use that. You think we could use that 00:21:38.099 --> 00:21:40.660 on the air? Who knows? We can't be promoting 00:21:40.660 --> 00:21:43.220 drinking, like. Tell me this. What would you 00:21:43.220 --> 00:21:46.819 like? What's your preference? Just a big, big 00:21:46.819 --> 00:21:49.809 bowl of wet pasta. I don't really care. I've 00:21:49.809 --> 00:21:51.809 been working my old throat. I can swallow any 00:21:51.809 --> 00:21:53.349 pasta they serve me, but I don't like sauce. 00:21:53.650 --> 00:21:55.089 Well, you just open your gullet and it just always 00:21:55.089 --> 00:21:57.549 goes down. Oh, aye. You just bunch the spaghetti 00:21:57.549 --> 00:21:59.829 up and you push it down. Could you swallow for 00:21:59.829 --> 00:22:03.549 me, sir, an entire lasagna, fresh from the oven? 00:22:03.630 --> 00:22:06.410 Now, I haven't done that in many a year. And 00:22:06.410 --> 00:22:08.250 to be honest, I'm not a big fan. The white sauce 00:22:08.250 --> 00:22:10.410 is fine because it's basically like eating pasta 00:22:10.410 --> 00:22:12.470 but liquid. But the red sauce, that lets you 00:22:12.470 --> 00:22:14.690 know that it's not pasta. You know, it seems 00:22:14.690 --> 00:22:16.609 weird when it's red. You don't get red pasta. 00:22:17.079 --> 00:22:19.119 I've seen those inky pastas, you know, the pasta 00:22:19.119 --> 00:22:20.799 where they take the squid ink and, you know, 00:22:20.799 --> 00:22:22.819 they put it in the dough. I've never heard of 00:22:22.819 --> 00:22:25.119 that, sir. No, you don't want it. You don't want 00:22:25.119 --> 00:22:27.180 it. It doesn't look like pasta, and pasta's the 00:22:27.180 --> 00:22:30.920 only food. All other foods are lie. So, if you're 00:22:30.920 --> 00:22:34.140 wanting to eat normal pasta, and you ask me what 00:22:34.140 --> 00:22:36.240 I wanted, I'd just, you know, a big bowl of wet 00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:38.019 spaghetti. Doesn't matter how you wet it, though. 00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:40.059 A wee bit of water, a wee bit of butter, I don't 00:22:40.059 --> 00:22:42.599 care. Just push it down my throat. How other 00:22:42.599 --> 00:22:44.779 would you wet it, sir? Oh, no, you can boil it 00:22:44.779 --> 00:22:47.039 now. You have to boil the pasta. If you don't 00:22:47.039 --> 00:22:49.059 boil it, it's not soft. And you can't get it 00:22:49.059 --> 00:22:51.599 down your throat if it's not soft. But I don't 00:22:51.599 --> 00:22:53.619 like sauce. This is all incredibly interesting 00:22:53.619 --> 00:22:55.299 here, but we are at a business meeting. This 00:22:55.299 --> 00:22:56.940 is supposed to be a transaction. You are here 00:22:56.940 --> 00:23:00.059 to do PR for this restaurant. And all you've 00:23:00.059 --> 00:23:01.759 done so far is talk about how much you enjoy 00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:04.500 eating wet pasta. I'm sorry you sought me out. 00:23:04.799 --> 00:23:08.460 You came to me because I am responsible for the 00:23:08.460 --> 00:23:12.410 top three pasta restaurants in this region. of 00:23:12.410 --> 00:23:14.569 this province, of this county in Ireland. Look, 00:23:14.630 --> 00:23:17.730 nobody raps any finer. You always do the best 00:23:17.730 --> 00:23:20.130 stuff with your PR. That's why you're the best 00:23:20.130 --> 00:23:23.369 in the biz. But we've got to ask you, do we have 00:23:23.369 --> 00:23:25.769 to just make wet pasta, or can we do our own 00:23:25.769 --> 00:23:28.150 chef stuff? Like, we like to make meals. Cooking, 00:23:28.269 --> 00:23:29.910 normal cooking. I see your question, and I raise 00:23:29.910 --> 00:23:31.650 you another question. Do you want dry pasta? 00:23:32.170 --> 00:23:35.430 Al dente, yeah. No, I just mean slightly firm 00:23:35.430 --> 00:23:37.230 in the middle. I'm sorry. Tell me this. Whenever 00:23:37.230 --> 00:23:39.250 you make a spaghetti bolognese, do you not just 00:23:39.250 --> 00:23:41.069 take a little bit of the dry pasta and just, 00:23:41.109 --> 00:23:44.750 like, chew on it? And then I spit it right out. 00:23:45.569 --> 00:23:47.809 Spit it on the cooker, spit it on the wall, I 00:23:47.809 --> 00:23:49.509 don't care. But it's getting out of my mouth. 00:23:49.869 --> 00:23:51.750 That's a very aggressive stance to take on spaghetti, 00:23:52.029 --> 00:23:55.789 sir. Or any food at all, really. It's, I argue, 00:23:55.869 --> 00:23:58.119 is a little abnormal. For somebody that works 00:23:58.119 --> 00:24:00.220 in the PR business for restaurants, you're coming 00:24:00.220 --> 00:24:01.819 into this place, tell me you're spitting spaghetti 00:24:01.819 --> 00:24:05.119 on the wall. How many restaurants have you represented 00:24:05.119 --> 00:24:07.960 in an advertising capacity? I think you know 00:24:07.960 --> 00:24:10.799 the answer is none, sir. Correct. And how many 00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:13.940 have I represented? I think you know the answer 00:24:13.940 --> 00:24:17.140 is six, sir. It is. It is six. But they're all 00:24:17.140 --> 00:24:19.859 pretty good restaurants. You're telling us that 00:24:19.859 --> 00:24:22.079 they're all dry pasta restaurants? No, they're 00:24:22.079 --> 00:24:25.059 wet pasta restaurants. I just don't like sauce. 00:24:26.079 --> 00:24:28.440 I don't like sauce that looks like sauce. Are 00:24:28.440 --> 00:24:31.359 you serving lasagna with just wet sheets of pasta? 00:24:31.660 --> 00:24:35.200 Wet sheets, a bit of a bechamel, but no tomatoes. 00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:40.180 Get out of here. Are you kidding me? No. We're 00:24:40.180 --> 00:24:43.819 talking ground, boiled chicken, and bechamel, 00:24:43.960 --> 00:24:46.819 and pasta sheets. You know, Davey, I mean, he's 00:24:46.819 --> 00:24:49.339 been so successful the previous six places, like, 00:24:49.380 --> 00:24:51.599 I mean... Did we go with this guy? I don't think 00:24:51.599 --> 00:24:53.619 we... Well, we're going to just cook, but this 00:24:53.619 --> 00:24:55.240 guy says we're going to cook. I thought he was 00:24:55.240 --> 00:24:56.880 going to do an advert for us. I thought he was 00:24:56.880 --> 00:24:58.380 going to come in here, take a couple of pictures, 00:24:58.599 --> 00:25:01.680 you stirring the stuff, some people eating the 00:25:01.680 --> 00:25:03.900 stuff. Look, I can hear you. My pictures, they're 00:25:03.900 --> 00:25:06.240 in black and white, so it doesn't matter what 00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:08.559 colour your sauce is. It'll all look the same. 00:25:09.180 --> 00:25:12.420 Some delicious shade of grey. I don't want to 00:25:12.420 --> 00:25:25.240 play with him anymore. OK, thank you so much, 00:25:25.240 --> 00:25:28.380 guys, for coming. I know waiter training can 00:25:28.380 --> 00:25:31.099 be quite difficult, but I think you guys really 00:25:31.099 --> 00:25:33.839 have what it takes to be the waiters for this 00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:37.200 really wonderful restaurant, OK? Oh, thank you. 00:25:37.220 --> 00:25:41.960 That means so much to me, Delphine. Oh, you're 00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:44.339 so welcome. Thank you so much for saying that. 00:25:44.559 --> 00:25:46.940 You have been such an interesting and informative 00:25:46.940 --> 00:25:49.880 teacher. Thank you for taking the time out today. 00:25:50.460 --> 00:25:52.650 Well... You know, I work really hard in the restaurant 00:25:52.650 --> 00:25:55.490 business and I'm really happy that you guys are 00:25:55.490 --> 00:25:58.190 working so hard to become really wonderful waiters. 00:25:58.190 --> 00:26:02.049 Thank you so much. Yeah, I was just going to 00:26:02.049 --> 00:26:05.910 ask if this is an appropriate time. Whenever 00:26:05.910 --> 00:26:12.529 a customer comes in and says, I have a deathly 00:26:12.529 --> 00:26:16.710 allergy to peanuts, are we supposed to change 00:26:16.710 --> 00:26:20.029 the menu for them or just kind of carry on and 00:26:20.029 --> 00:26:22.730 just like, Make a mental note of that. Really 00:26:22.730 --> 00:26:24.230 good question. Thank you so much for asking me. 00:26:24.609 --> 00:26:26.410 Do you know what? I think it's a mix of both. 00:26:27.509 --> 00:26:30.589 You just don't give them anything that has peanuts 00:26:30.589 --> 00:26:33.349 in it. Okay? So make a mental note. So if they 00:26:33.349 --> 00:26:37.490 say, could I get the peanut pasta with the peanut 00:26:37.490 --> 00:26:41.009 surprise? You go, hang on a second. This person 00:26:41.009 --> 00:26:44.009 told me they can't have peanuts. Yeah, but if 00:26:44.009 --> 00:26:46.150 they know that they're allergic to peanuts and 00:26:46.150 --> 00:26:48.990 they order that, do they not deserve that? Um... 00:26:49.289 --> 00:26:51.650 I think they deserve what's coming to them. However, 00:26:51.890 --> 00:26:55.250 I think being publicly liable, I think being 00:26:55.250 --> 00:26:57.849 publicly liable, this isn't for us. This isn't 00:26:57.849 --> 00:27:00.009 for us. I mean, I would love to see someone with 00:27:00.009 --> 00:27:02.509 a peanut allergy choke on their words, saying, 00:27:02.589 --> 00:27:05.390 I know there's no peanut in that. I'd love to 00:27:05.390 --> 00:27:09.289 say, go for it. You go for it. However, we really 00:27:09.289 --> 00:27:11.990 do have to think about the brand and the restaurant. 00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:16.579 So I think if someone says I have a nut allergy 00:27:16.579 --> 00:27:20.640 or a dairy allergy or a gluten allergy, if they're 00:27:20.640 --> 00:27:23.539 being a smartass about it, it can be really tempting 00:27:23.539 --> 00:27:26.539 to let them choke on their words. However, I 00:27:26.539 --> 00:27:29.259 really think it's best practice to not allow 00:27:29.259 --> 00:27:31.440 them to die in our restaurant. But really good 00:27:31.440 --> 00:27:36.859 question. And how much free food do we get? Sir, 00:27:36.920 --> 00:27:39.500 I'm... When I'm there, like, not, can I just 00:27:39.500 --> 00:27:43.480 nibble? Um... Before or after? I'm easy. Okay, 00:27:43.539 --> 00:27:46.000 what's worrying me there is before or after. 00:27:46.119 --> 00:27:48.819 So what we really don't want to do is have... 00:27:48.819 --> 00:27:56.240 No, no, no. Okay, so even like, I know it's tempting. 00:27:56.460 --> 00:27:58.940 I really know it's tempting. I really do know 00:27:58.940 --> 00:28:01.519 it's tempting to have a little corner here, a 00:28:01.519 --> 00:28:04.779 little chip here. However, what we really want 00:28:04.779 --> 00:28:09.519 to do... No, we just don't want to touch. Our 00:28:09.519 --> 00:28:11.420 customers' food. How do we know that they're 00:28:11.420 --> 00:28:13.440 not dying from it? What if it's been poisoned? 00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:15.559 Yeah, what if there's peanuts in it and we're 00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:18.099 just picking them out? Gotta taste test it. Okay, 00:28:18.140 --> 00:28:19.960 guys, this is a really good question. I'm really 00:28:19.960 --> 00:28:21.980 glad we're doing this. I can eat the whole peanut 00:28:21.980 --> 00:28:24.539 away from them. That's fair. Okay, I can see 00:28:24.539 --> 00:28:27.579 where you're coming from there. Okay, okay. what 00:28:27.579 --> 00:28:30.119 we're not going to do. So our chefs, you've met 00:28:30.119 --> 00:28:34.500 them, yeah? What they're not going to do is poison 00:28:34.500 --> 00:28:37.619 the food, okay? They're not poisoning it, guys. 00:28:37.819 --> 00:28:39.779 And that's a really good question. I love questions. 00:28:39.880 --> 00:28:41.680 I love getting questions from you guys. It really 00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:44.299 makes my job worthwhile. But they don't poison 00:28:44.299 --> 00:28:46.779 the food. So what we don't need to do is try 00:28:46.779 --> 00:28:49.339 the food to see if it's poisoned. Okay, but very 00:28:49.339 --> 00:28:51.099 good question. Thank you for asking me, though. 00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:55.400 Okay, but if they order the fish and then they 00:28:55.400 --> 00:28:57.359 say after the meal, that they're allergic to 00:28:57.359 --> 00:28:59.680 fish as they're being taken into the ambulance. 00:29:00.119 --> 00:29:03.180 What am I supposed to do? Yes, this is relevant 00:29:03.180 --> 00:29:05.859 to something that happened last week. I completely 00:29:05.859 --> 00:29:07.599 understand that. This has happened to me before. 00:29:07.799 --> 00:29:11.160 Someone saying, I'm allergic, I'm allergic to 00:29:11.160 --> 00:29:13.359 pine nuts, like putting their fist in the air. 00:29:13.500 --> 00:29:15.759 Like, I get this, I get this. I really do understand 00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:17.980 this. Thank you so much for your question. So 00:29:17.980 --> 00:29:20.940 if they're saying this to you as they're being 00:29:20.940 --> 00:29:23.380 rolled into the ambulance by the paramedics, 00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:28.210 what we do is deny. So we don't let them know. 00:29:28.210 --> 00:29:30.509 We don't let them have anything. We don't give 00:29:30.509 --> 00:29:32.470 them anything that their lawyers can use because, 00:29:32.529 --> 00:29:35.549 heck, we know they love that. What we really 00:29:35.549 --> 00:29:40.109 want them to do is really reflect. So our ethos 00:29:40.109 --> 00:29:43.309 as a restaurant is to really let people reflect 00:29:43.309 --> 00:29:45.890 on what they're doing and really reflect on the 00:29:45.890 --> 00:29:48.190 food and everything, but also their own behavior. 00:29:48.970 --> 00:29:50.809 And I think that's really important as well. 00:29:51.029 --> 00:29:54.230 Okay, so what if they have ordered the peanut 00:29:54.230 --> 00:29:57.609 and then I try the peanut, just a little nibble, 00:29:57.609 --> 00:29:59.609 a little corner of the nibble of the peanut, 00:29:59.789 --> 00:30:03.349 and then my allergies play up? Because I'm definitely 00:30:03.349 --> 00:30:07.190 allergic to the peanut. What happens if I take 00:30:07.190 --> 00:30:09.730 just a little nibble? Okay, this is a really 00:30:09.730 --> 00:30:11.950 great question. I really love this question. 00:30:12.250 --> 00:30:14.369 So what we're not going to do on the premises 00:30:14.369 --> 00:30:17.940 is consume foods we're allergic to. So if you 00:30:17.940 --> 00:30:20.059 know in your head that you're allergic to it, 00:30:20.099 --> 00:30:21.599 don't eat it. I don't know what they've ordered. 00:30:21.660 --> 00:30:24.339 I'm just giving them the food. Okay, so I think 00:30:24.339 --> 00:30:27.019 this is a really good point. So our best practice 00:30:27.019 --> 00:30:30.220 is to not eat the customer's food. And our other 00:30:30.220 --> 00:30:33.799 best practice is to not eat foods you're allergic 00:30:33.799 --> 00:30:36.160 to. So I think if you really follow those two 00:30:36.160 --> 00:30:37.680 lines of thought, you're going to be absolutely 00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:39.599 fine. Don't even worry about it. Don't eat any 00:30:39.599 --> 00:30:42.660 customers I'm allergic to. Got it? Clear. Workout. 00:30:42.960 --> 00:30:46.740 Fantastic. Thank you so much. You're dafty. Yes. 00:30:46.960 --> 00:30:48.960 All right, pal. This has been fantastic, I have 00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:51.920 to say. You're a great teacher. I just wanted 00:30:51.920 --> 00:30:54.839 to ask about dog hair. Great line of questioning. 00:30:54.839 --> 00:30:57.500 If I were out the back, right, of the restaurant, 00:30:57.720 --> 00:31:01.359 petting my dog, right, who's here with me, right, 00:31:01.500 --> 00:31:04.220 good big fella. Now, I'm petting him, stroking 00:31:04.220 --> 00:31:06.440 him behind the ears and such. I want to commend 00:31:06.440 --> 00:31:10.240 the customer comes first. Right? Of course, yeah. 00:31:10.259 --> 00:31:12.940 I get straight back to work without even washing 00:31:12.940 --> 00:31:16.559 my hands. Now, we, me, the waiter at the time, 00:31:16.619 --> 00:31:19.819 I'm on the right, right? Yeah, yeah, I think 00:31:19.819 --> 00:31:23.180 so. Guys, I'm going to put this really simply 00:31:23.180 --> 00:31:26.839 for you guys. When you touch a dirty animal or 00:31:26.839 --> 00:31:29.240 when you touch a dirty appliance... Oh, he's 00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:31.710 clean -like. Yeah, Nathan's dog's clean. Okay, 00:31:31.750 --> 00:31:33.650 understand that, though. It's still a dog. It's 00:31:33.650 --> 00:31:35.789 still a dog, isn't it? So what we're going to 00:31:35.789 --> 00:31:38.490 do is we're going to wash our hands so we don't 00:31:38.490 --> 00:31:41.069 kill any of our customers. Like, that's our best 00:31:41.069 --> 00:31:43.170 practice. We've got to keep that in mind. So 00:31:43.170 --> 00:31:45.869 when you're stroking your dirty dog, you just 00:31:45.869 --> 00:31:48.430 must remember, like, to wash your hands and get 00:31:48.430 --> 00:31:50.609 that out of the way, okay? And also, don't bring 00:31:50.609 --> 00:31:53.210 your dog into work. Is that okay? He is quite 00:31:53.210 --> 00:31:56.329 poorly at the minute, actually, which is part 00:31:56.329 --> 00:31:58.680 of the reason that he's here. He's been going 00:31:58.680 --> 00:32:01.059 bald on the ears. That's great, that's great, 00:32:01.079 --> 00:32:04.059 because most people do not have an allergy to 00:32:04.059 --> 00:32:09.019 bald dogs. I have a confession to make. So your 00:32:09.019 --> 00:32:11.900 dog was being a wee bit of a bastard to me. That's 00:32:11.900 --> 00:32:14.180 his name as well there, bastard. Well, he was 00:32:14.180 --> 00:32:16.900 living up to his name, and he bit me on the ear, 00:32:16.980 --> 00:32:19.039 and I said, you know what you do? You bite him 00:32:19.039 --> 00:32:21.359 right back. So I've been biting him every single 00:32:21.359 --> 00:32:23.319 day. You haven't been biting my bastard, have 00:32:23.319 --> 00:32:25.259 you? I've been biting your bastard on his wee 00:32:25.259 --> 00:32:28.000 ears. And to be honest, I'm taking a lot of the 00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:29.920 hair with me. So I don't know if it's more of 00:32:29.920 --> 00:32:35.720 a medical issue or a me issue. Guys, I feel like 00:32:35.720 --> 00:32:38.059 this is a really good bonding opportunity right 00:32:38.059 --> 00:32:41.539 now. You know, as a team, we have to think about 00:32:41.539 --> 00:32:44.819 how we treat each other, how we treat ourselves, 00:32:45.079 --> 00:32:48.660 but also how we treat our pets. So what we're 00:32:48.660 --> 00:32:53.039 not going to do is take chunks out of our colleague's 00:32:53.039 --> 00:32:55.519 dogs, cats, rabbits. His dog respects me now. 00:32:55.799 --> 00:32:59.059 And to be fair, I do not respect myself. So I 00:32:59.059 --> 00:33:01.880 need it to pick me up from his dog. And I think, 00:33:01.880 --> 00:33:03.619 you know, we have to think about how we're treating 00:33:03.619 --> 00:33:06.259 ourselves as well. So if you don't respect yourselves, 00:33:06.500 --> 00:33:11.109 don't bite a dog until it bleeds. This guy. You've 00:33:11.109 --> 00:33:13.250 been trying to just wedge yourself between the 00:33:13.250 --> 00:33:15.589 hierarchy of me and my dog since the day we've 00:33:15.589 --> 00:33:18.269 met. It is the strangest thing, man. I hate myself 00:33:18.269 --> 00:33:20.730 for it and I keep going for those peanut lasagnas 00:33:20.730 --> 00:33:24.089 in recompense. Okay, I can understand this. Guys, 00:33:24.250 --> 00:33:26.369 we're really sorting stuff out today. I'm really 00:33:26.369 --> 00:33:29.029 happy we did this. So what we're not going to 00:33:29.029 --> 00:33:31.630 do is get in the way of hierarchy either. So 00:33:31.630 --> 00:33:34.890 obviously, I'm teaching you guys as the chef. 00:33:35.089 --> 00:33:37.329 But what we really do need to think about in 00:33:37.329 --> 00:33:39.809 our heads is if our colleagues have any kind 00:33:39.809 --> 00:33:42.309 of hierarchy they're trying to uphold. So maybe 00:33:42.309 --> 00:33:44.990 think about, so if I had a cat, I have a cat. 00:33:45.230 --> 00:33:47.869 Guys, if I had a cat, what would that make me? 00:33:48.130 --> 00:33:50.710 Like, what would I not want my colleagues in 00:33:50.710 --> 00:33:52.450 this restaurant to do if I had a cat? Make you 00:33:52.450 --> 00:33:55.369 a bad person. Be a cat person? Completely. Yeah, 00:33:55.369 --> 00:33:57.710 no, definitely. But also, would I not want them 00:33:57.710 --> 00:34:00.269 to get in the way of me and the relationship 00:34:00.269 --> 00:34:02.130 of me and my cat? All right, she's away. Is that 00:34:02.130 --> 00:34:03.869 something that I would want? Guys, like, I really 00:34:03.869 --> 00:34:05.750 think this is a time for personal reflection, 00:34:06.089 --> 00:34:10.340 okay? Yeah. Delphine, just one question, more 00:34:10.340 --> 00:34:12.420 on the customer side of things, really. Yeah, 00:34:12.420 --> 00:34:14.780 no, definitely. I think we've all, guys, I think 00:34:14.780 --> 00:34:17.500 we've all, and we can agree that sometimes customers 00:34:17.500 --> 00:34:20.719 can be just a pain in the arse. Massive cunts, 00:34:20.860 --> 00:34:23.340 yeah. Yeah, if we're on a beverage service and 00:34:23.340 --> 00:34:25.300 they're just being a bit of a dick, is it okay 00:34:25.300 --> 00:34:28.019 if we just, whoop, a little bit of red wine over 00:34:28.019 --> 00:34:31.260 the shoulder? Or even on the food service, guys, 00:34:31.340 --> 00:34:34.679 and I know that I've done this. Drop a little 00:34:34.679 --> 00:34:37.300 hot potato in their lap, especially on a first 00:34:37.300 --> 00:34:39.860 date, am I right? I'll bite them in the ear. 00:34:40.360 --> 00:34:43.219 Okay, so what we're not going to do, this is 00:34:43.219 --> 00:34:45.260 a really good question, guys, and I'm really 00:34:45.260 --> 00:34:48.599 glad you brought it up. So what we don't want 00:34:48.599 --> 00:34:51.039 to do, as people who are in the service industry, 00:34:51.179 --> 00:34:55.960 is that we don't want to seek revenge. We don't 00:34:55.960 --> 00:34:58.639 want to seek revenge. And I can completely understand 00:34:58.639 --> 00:35:01.420 where you guys are coming from. But what we're 00:35:01.420 --> 00:35:04.400 not going to do is really physically harm the 00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:07.679 people who come to the restaurant. But Delphine, 00:35:07.699 --> 00:35:11.539 what if, let's say, that's your ex -partner that's 00:35:11.539 --> 00:35:14.420 there that cheated on you relentlessly for four 00:35:14.420 --> 00:35:18.039 years and they've come in with a date who's not 00:35:18.039 --> 00:35:21.320 a scratch on yourself, I suppose. A downgrade. 00:35:21.619 --> 00:35:24.119 A downgrade. Yes, thank you. You're always so 00:35:24.119 --> 00:35:26.719 good at words. Thank you. Thank you so much. 00:35:27.340 --> 00:35:30.400 Then, I don't know, a nice Chianti on the lap, 00:35:30.539 --> 00:35:33.019 just on the tablecloth, would that be? This is 00:35:33.019 --> 00:35:34.900 really difficult, and I completely understand 00:35:34.900 --> 00:35:37.500 this. And, like, in my line of work, like, I 00:35:37.500 --> 00:35:40.340 work with people, and I hear this a lot. I hear 00:35:40.340 --> 00:35:42.159 this a lot. So, like, what are we going to do? 00:35:42.280 --> 00:35:44.699 So, like, workplace relationships, like, trying 00:35:44.699 --> 00:35:47.139 to, like, navigate relationships in the workplace. 00:35:47.559 --> 00:35:50.400 I completely understand this. I think if they 00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:53.920 have cheated on you multiple times, but are also 00:35:53.920 --> 00:36:03.289 with a munter, like, what you can do... You did 00:36:03.289 --> 00:36:06.409 that like it is, Delphine. What you can do completely 00:36:06.409 --> 00:36:11.590 100 % is scold them slightly. I think just to 00:36:11.590 --> 00:36:13.670 make them on the same level as their date, I 00:36:13.670 --> 00:36:15.809 honestly think it's a nice thing to just sort 00:36:15.809 --> 00:36:18.070 of put a bit of hot water on them. It may make 00:36:18.070 --> 00:36:20.289 them think about things. I know I've done that 00:36:20.289 --> 00:36:22.610 with my ex -boyfriend. I put a bit of hot water 00:36:22.610 --> 00:36:24.389 on him and he's like, whoa, what the fuck am 00:36:24.389 --> 00:36:26.639 I doing with my secretary? And I was like, I 00:36:26.639 --> 00:36:29.900 don't know. We were married. And it was a lot. 00:36:29.940 --> 00:36:32.059 It was a lot. It was a lot. It was a lot. But 00:36:32.059 --> 00:36:34.099 really, you really just have to, like, welcome 00:36:34.099 --> 00:36:36.280 them, these things. It's a situation -to -situation 00:36:36.280 --> 00:36:38.679 basis. If someone who's just cheated on you once, 00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:41.440 I think just a splash of red wine in the eye 00:36:41.440 --> 00:36:43.940 can really open their eyes. But if it's someone 00:36:43.940 --> 00:36:46.739 who's been an absolute dick to you multiple times 00:36:46.739 --> 00:36:48.860 and just won't stop shagging their secretary, 00:36:49.119 --> 00:36:52.099 who was a manta, by the way, I think putting 00:36:52.099 --> 00:36:54.679 scalding hot soup on their lap can be slightly 00:36:54.679 --> 00:36:59.969 okay. Is that all? Absolutely. So Delphine, you're 00:36:59.969 --> 00:37:02.530 recommending us to upsell the sizzling hot plates 00:37:02.530 --> 00:37:04.590 then? Oh, definitely. Definitely. Definitely. 00:37:04.750 --> 00:37:06.829 Yeah, no, no, no, no. Definitely. We're going 00:37:06.829 --> 00:37:09.289 for something more tapas based. We're going for 00:37:09.289 --> 00:37:11.530 something more Spanish. You know what I mean? 00:37:11.610 --> 00:37:14.030 And I really think those ones are really what 00:37:14.030 --> 00:37:17.269 we're looking for. For sure. Delphine, now, if 00:37:17.269 --> 00:37:20.150 your ex were to come to the restaurant, right, 00:37:20.250 --> 00:37:23.909 approaching in an Apache helicopter. Yeah, yeah, 00:37:23.929 --> 00:37:26.289 no, definitely. Guns blazing, tearing up the 00:37:26.289 --> 00:37:30.710 top floor, absolutely blowing the bricks to pieces. 00:37:31.409 --> 00:37:33.230 Blood, guts. Yeah, complete annihilation. No, 00:37:33.230 --> 00:37:34.889 definitely, I know what you mean. For sure. Complete 00:37:34.889 --> 00:37:36.070 annihilation. They approach, right, and then 00:37:36.070 --> 00:37:38.909 they land in the mess, the rubble of the top 00:37:38.909 --> 00:37:40.710 floor of the restaurant, and they're coming down. 00:37:42.050 --> 00:37:44.329 Ropes dropping, blasting through the windows. 00:37:44.510 --> 00:37:45.369 I'm there, I'm there, I'm there. And you're there. 00:37:45.389 --> 00:37:47.809 You're the server. Your ex -boyfriend comes in 00:37:47.809 --> 00:37:50.789 with an AK -47 machine gun, and he starts lighting 00:37:50.789 --> 00:37:53.719 people up. What would you do? You ask them if 00:37:53.719 --> 00:38:34.559 they have a reservation. It's up to your time 00:38:34.559 --> 00:38:38.920 with Conlist. I'm on my phone outside again because 00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:41.260 I don't have access to my equipment currently, 00:38:41.400 --> 00:38:46.079 but I needed to do this closing credits thing 00:38:46.079 --> 00:38:49.300 anyway, so here we go. First off, I'm going to 00:38:49.300 --> 00:38:51.860 start up with a shout -out to another show here. 00:38:52.119 --> 00:38:53.659 If any of you haven't heard of a show called 00:38:53.659 --> 00:38:55.739 Last Dance, if you haven't listened to that before, 00:38:55.940 --> 00:38:59.179 I cannot recommend it highly enough. It's a high 00:38:59.179 --> 00:39:01.739 fantasy audio drama and it's made by some incredibly 00:39:01.739 --> 00:39:04.400 talented folk that I know in Belfast. You can 00:39:04.400 --> 00:39:06.480 find it anywhere you listen to your podcasts. 00:39:06.599 --> 00:39:09.000 If you're listening to this, you can search Last 00:39:09.000 --> 00:39:10.880 Dance right away on whatever you're listening 00:39:10.880 --> 00:39:14.420 to this on and find it. It's incredibly sound 00:39:14.420 --> 00:39:17.119 designed, incredibly acted. Oh, it's so fucking 00:39:17.119 --> 00:39:19.719 good. It's not improvised or like the silly nonsense 00:39:19.719 --> 00:39:23.260 from this show. It's an actual well done production. 00:39:23.619 --> 00:39:27.019 But as of today. They have released episode 12. 00:39:27.039 --> 00:39:28.820 Well, they released it last week, but as of today 00:39:28.820 --> 00:39:30.579 of the day that I am talking to you right now, 00:39:30.699 --> 00:39:33.320 they released episode 12 of their first season, 00:39:33.380 --> 00:39:35.360 which is the penultimate episode. But season 00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:38.440 one will be out soon for them. And why am I talking 00:39:38.440 --> 00:39:40.880 about it other than the fact that it's an unbelievably 00:39:40.880 --> 00:39:43.699 good show? I was a fan of it before I was ever 00:39:43.699 --> 00:39:46.739 on it. And that's right. Episode 12. You'll hear 00:39:46.739 --> 00:39:49.559 four familiar voices as myself, Patrick Meyer, 00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:52.539 Amelia Price and Christine Clark. We were all. 00:39:52.960 --> 00:39:56.559 lucky enough to feature in episode 12. So do 00:39:56.559 --> 00:39:59.079 follow Last Dance on Instagram, Blue Sky and 00:39:59.079 --> 00:40:01.599 all that sort of stuff, and go listen to them 00:40:01.599 --> 00:40:05.920 so that you can hear in episode 12, me. But another 00:40:05.920 --> 00:40:09.019 shout out too to another one of the cast members 00:40:09.019 --> 00:40:12.059 from this very episode, J .R. McCormick, who 00:40:12.059 --> 00:40:14.380 has started up a production company with Clark 00:40:14.380 --> 00:40:17.599 Phillips called Felbrun Studios. So if you follow 00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:19.980 them on Instagram and Blue Sky, those guys, that 00:40:19.980 --> 00:40:22.500 is two guys on a serious mission. And that mission 00:40:22.500 --> 00:40:25.400 is to produce some absolutely rad audio content. 00:40:25.960 --> 00:40:29.079 We recorded the pilot episode for a show that 00:40:29.079 --> 00:40:32.960 they're putting together. And my God, it's going 00:40:32.960 --> 00:40:35.400 to be so good. Can't reveal any sort of dates, 00:40:35.539 --> 00:40:38.039 times, names of it or anything about it yet. 00:40:38.059 --> 00:40:40.019 I will leave that to the guys at Felbrun to do. 00:40:40.139 --> 00:40:44.079 But we recorded the pilot with a few of the Bacta 00:40:44.079 --> 00:40:46.730 and Bracken alumni. I won't even tell you who 00:40:46.730 --> 00:40:49.250 did it, but trust me, it is so fucking funny. 00:40:49.329 --> 00:40:51.949 We were laughing our entire way through it, and 00:40:51.949 --> 00:40:54.550 if you enjoy Back to Dumb Bracken, you're going 00:40:54.550 --> 00:40:56.969 to lose your mind at this show. It's just so 00:40:56.969 --> 00:40:59.050 bloody funny, and it's a phenomenal concept for 00:40:59.050 --> 00:41:01.090 a show, so I'm very excited, so please do follow 00:41:01.090 --> 00:41:04.369 Felbrun Studios for some awesome new shows coming 00:41:04.369 --> 00:41:08.150 out. Anyway, back to Back to Dumb Bracken. Yeah, 00:41:08.250 --> 00:41:10.090 because in case you've been wondering why the 00:41:10.090 --> 00:41:12.030 episode drops have been a little less frequent 00:41:12.030 --> 00:41:15.679 or irregular at times, I have officially, completed 00:41:15.679 --> 00:41:18.320 my move from Ireland to Pennsylvania, so congratulations 00:41:18.320 --> 00:41:21.900 to me for that. Hopefully once things calm down, 00:41:22.079 --> 00:41:24.059 I'll be able to get back to the fortnightly Tuesday 00:41:24.059 --> 00:41:26.619 release schedule that we all know and love. In 00:41:26.619 --> 00:41:29.539 anticipation of the move, I recorded an absolute 00:41:29.539 --> 00:41:33.599 smorgasbord. I was a man possessed with the spirit 00:41:33.599 --> 00:41:36.079 of an audio mixer and four mics running around 00:41:36.079 --> 00:41:38.119 different people's houses and recording a bunch 00:41:38.119 --> 00:41:40.260 more stuff with a load of people. And I have 00:41:40.260 --> 00:41:43.420 a good 20 or so episodes worth of content that... 00:41:43.840 --> 00:41:46.199 I will be, well, I haven't edited yet because 00:41:46.199 --> 00:41:48.059 I'm only one man. And as I say, I've been very, 00:41:48.119 --> 00:41:51.800 very busy. But I have a bunch of episodes in 00:41:51.800 --> 00:41:54.599 the pipeline. And by the time that I get through 00:41:54.599 --> 00:41:56.860 all that, I'll probably be back holidaying in 00:41:56.860 --> 00:41:59.500 Ireland. And I'll be able to record more stuff 00:41:59.500 --> 00:42:01.760 with those people. And there's always that fun 00:42:01.760 --> 00:42:04.960 technology called the World Wide Web that I can 00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:09.099 record online too with them. So this show ain't 00:42:09.099 --> 00:42:11.539 going anywhere. I think that's Everton. Oh, no, 00:42:11.659 --> 00:42:14.280 it isn't actually Everton. As of this moment, 00:42:14.440 --> 00:42:16.739 I have decided to just make a little Discord 00:42:16.739 --> 00:42:19.840 for the show, which I will put in the show notes. 00:42:19.860 --> 00:42:21.719 Anything I've talked about will also be in the 00:42:21.719 --> 00:42:24.360 show notes. It's brand new. It'll probably die 00:42:24.360 --> 00:42:27.480 in death. But I figured I'd just put it together, 00:42:27.619 --> 00:42:29.679 keep in touch with people and chat about the 00:42:29.679 --> 00:42:33.440 show. And maybe we'll do, as episodes release, 00:42:33.659 --> 00:42:37.239 maybe do some live lessons and whatnot and different 00:42:37.239 --> 00:42:39.400 things like that. I'm not sure. I'm not sure 00:42:39.400 --> 00:42:44.179 what it is yet, but it's a place to chat. I'm 00:42:44.179 --> 00:42:47.599 almost finished editing the live show, which 00:42:47.599 --> 00:42:49.480 has taken longer than I'd have liked, but again, 00:42:49.539 --> 00:42:51.860 I've been very, very busy. The quality of the 00:42:51.860 --> 00:42:54.719 video and the audio is unbelievable, so that'll 00:42:54.719 --> 00:42:56.880 be put up on YouTube at some point. Maybe we'll 00:42:56.880 --> 00:42:59.599 do a live watch of that whenever I release. I'm 00:42:59.599 --> 00:43:01.179 very close to finishing, but it'll probably be 00:43:01.179 --> 00:43:05.960 two weeks before I actually get the live episodes 00:43:05.960 --> 00:43:08.239 out, because it's a full two hours of stuff. 00:43:08.840 --> 00:43:11.519 Yeah, I think that's everything. So that is all 00:43:11.519 --> 00:43:14.139 the information. And this episode featured a 00:43:14.139 --> 00:43:19.539 classic bumper cast of, what, 16 people? Of, 00:43:19.880 --> 00:43:23.320 what, 16 people lending their voices? Which is 00:43:23.320 --> 00:43:26.639 hard for the chorus at this point. But they were 00:43:26.639 --> 00:43:30.199 Patrick Meyer, Laura Conlon, Eddie Goodwin, Emilia 00:43:30.199 --> 00:43:34.119 Price, Claire Thompson, Andrew Robinson, J .R. 00:43:34.139 --> 00:43:38.389 McCormick, Eden Kelly, Arne Marshall. Niall McKenna, 00:43:38.469 --> 00:43:43.210 Megan Scott, Eddie Goodwin, Phil Greaves, Min 00:43:43.210 --> 00:43:47.429 Witt, David McCauley, and Owen Fox. The opening 00:43:47.429 --> 00:43:49.949 credit song and the end credit songs were both 00:43:49.949 --> 00:43:52.510 by Connor Mallon. As always, they're incredible. 00:43:52.809 --> 00:43:56.050 You can check the entire album out on Earth. 00:43:56.230 --> 00:43:58.110 The album's called Unearthed, and you can check 00:43:58.110 --> 00:44:00.190 it out on Spotify. That is where I leave you, 00:44:00.269 --> 00:44:06.230 and I hope you come back to Dunbracken very soon. 00:44:06.889 --> 00:44:09.610 That wasn't a very smooth transition end, but 00:44:09.610 --> 00:44:11.210 here we go. I'm ending it. Goodbye.