WEBVTT 00:00:03.999 --> 00:00:10.019 Dear Roberta, long -time reader, first -time 00:00:10.019 --> 00:00:15.060 writer, I'm coming to you for advice. You see, 00:00:15.160 --> 00:00:20.379 I work as a potter. Recently, at the studio, 00:00:20.719 --> 00:00:24.719 I have reason to believe that one of my colleagues 00:00:24.719 --> 00:00:30.769 is putting explosives in the kiln. Anytime I 00:00:30.769 --> 00:00:35.189 fire one of my pieces, no matter how long I've 00:00:35.189 --> 00:00:40.590 worked on it, when I take it out, it has completely 00:00:40.590 --> 00:00:46.750 shattered. Roberta, it's completely irreparable. 00:00:47.630 --> 00:00:52.590 And I think one of my colleagues is to blame. 00:00:53.609 --> 00:00:58.530 Why would you suggest that I go about accusing... 00:00:58.990 --> 00:01:04.150 who I think is responsible for this crime against 00:01:04.150 --> 00:01:13.530 my ceramics. Much love, Olivia. Thank you, folks. 00:01:13.569 --> 00:01:15.349 You heard from Olivia there. And it's important 00:01:15.349 --> 00:01:17.950 that we all look after things. So I brought in 00:01:17.950 --> 00:01:21.530 a demolitions expert today. just for this and 00:01:21.530 --> 00:01:24.269 all the other calls today focused on demolitions 00:01:24.269 --> 00:01:26.650 so it's important that we get to the bottom of 00:01:26.650 --> 00:01:28.370 this because we i think you would say that this 00:01:28.370 --> 00:01:31.129 is a serious thing wouldn't you well i mean assuming 00:01:31.129 --> 00:01:33.129 it's true yes i would say it's a very serious 00:01:33.129 --> 00:01:35.510 you're doubting the authenticity of olivia's 00:01:35.510 --> 00:01:37.930 letter it just sounds like she's bad it's uh 00:01:37.930 --> 00:01:42.670 pottery wow interesting sometimes as in pottery 00:01:42.670 --> 00:01:44.849 as in construction sometimes when things collapse 00:01:44.849 --> 00:01:48.659 it's not due to uh demolition expert who's frustrated 00:01:48.659 --> 00:01:51.019 he didn't get his payments sometimes wow it is 00:01:51.019 --> 00:01:53.739 shoddy workmanship shoddy workmanship wow that 00:01:53.739 --> 00:01:57.000 is a bold claim you're willing to stake your 00:01:57.000 --> 00:02:00.319 reputation on outing olivia as a dirty rotten 00:02:00.319 --> 00:02:03.819 liar one of my good listeners well this is one 00:02:03.819 --> 00:02:06.019 potential theory but yes i am willing to stake 00:02:06.019 --> 00:02:10.240 my reputation on it and in fact i'm if she's 00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:12.659 unhappy with it i'll fight her wow these are 00:02:12.659 --> 00:02:15.139 i mean quite literally fighting words tune in 00:02:15.530 --> 00:02:17.629 Fly to this evening to see if we can get a rebuttal. 00:02:24.150 --> 00:02:26.689 I was out the other day and I said to myself, 00:02:26.909 --> 00:02:30.009 you know what I really like? A soft scoop of 00:02:30.009 --> 00:02:32.330 ice cream. And it's hard to beat them from the 00:02:32.330 --> 00:02:34.490 van, you know? And I heard the music and I thought, 00:02:34.569 --> 00:02:37.310 right, I'm going to treat myself. And, you know, 00:02:37.349 --> 00:02:39.530 I don't watch the TV. I don't know what's going 00:02:39.530 --> 00:02:42.530 on or what's happening in the world. And I thought, 00:02:42.710 --> 00:02:44.919 well, there's... Quite a lot of fire about and 00:02:44.919 --> 00:02:48.180 there's quite a lot of punch in here. So I go 00:02:48.180 --> 00:02:50.520 on my ice cream and I just had a wee look and 00:02:50.520 --> 00:02:53.439 I just thought, right, this is kicking off pretty 00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:56.340 bad. Might as well have a wee walk about. You 00:02:56.340 --> 00:02:58.319 know, what a lovely day. It was always a wonder 00:02:58.319 --> 00:03:00.539 day. Apart from obviously, you know, all the 00:03:00.539 --> 00:03:04.719 fighting. But I came across a shop that I love. 00:03:04.759 --> 00:03:06.960 I love dearly. I try and go visit once a week. 00:03:07.099 --> 00:03:08.840 Far too expensive though, far too expensive. 00:03:09.280 --> 00:03:11.300 Lovely stuff in it though. Great for inspiration 00:03:11.300 --> 00:03:14.719 for the house, you know. And, you know, the main 00:03:14.719 --> 00:03:18.879 window was broken. And I saw some fringing that 00:03:18.879 --> 00:03:21.520 I've had my eye on for about a month, right? 00:03:21.759 --> 00:03:24.300 This beautiful mauve fringing that you can get. 00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:26.939 And I thought, you know what? That would look 00:03:26.939 --> 00:03:31.020 lovely on my vintage lamp. Now, I'm against looting. 00:03:31.120 --> 00:03:33.800 You know, I don't think it's very kind to be, 00:03:33.900 --> 00:03:36.120 you know, stealing or looting from local business. 00:03:36.259 --> 00:03:39.259 But this was just on the floor. You know, this 00:03:39.259 --> 00:03:43.110 was just on the street. So who knows if it was 00:03:43.110 --> 00:03:47.110 actually from this lovely shop? Who knows? I 00:03:47.110 --> 00:03:49.509 hope everything gets sorted, but I had a nice 00:03:49.509 --> 00:03:51.710 wee day out now. At least it was something a 00:03:51.710 --> 00:03:53.789 bit interesting and it's good to get out of the 00:03:53.789 --> 00:04:03.509 house. What you're hearing right now are the 00:04:03.509 --> 00:04:05.930 stories of the people living in one of the worst 00:04:05.930 --> 00:04:08.729 conflicts of the current period of time that 00:04:08.729 --> 00:04:13.389 we ourselves exist in. On the small landlocked 00:04:13.389 --> 00:04:16.790 beachfront isle of Dunbracken, we asked the townsfolk 00:04:16.790 --> 00:04:19.189 who have been going through a horrid four -month 00:04:19.189 --> 00:04:22.949 war to email us with their stories so that we 00:04:22.949 --> 00:04:26.170 could put them to dramatic music and pay actors 00:04:26.170 --> 00:04:30.149 to reenact those horribly unfortunate circumstances. 00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:33.019 that the people of this horseshoed peninsula 00:04:33.019 --> 00:04:37.680 have found themselves in. For some reason, instead 00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:41.139 of emailing, they all found our number and rang 00:04:41.139 --> 00:04:49.100 our answering machines instead. Look, I moved 00:04:49.100 --> 00:04:52.779 to Dunbracken to get my family away from the 00:04:52.779 --> 00:04:56.579 big city squabbles. And what do I find six months 00:04:56.579 --> 00:05:03.279 later? A steeple wall. A civil war. I've got 00:05:03.279 --> 00:05:07.519 two children in school here. A four -year -old 00:05:07.519 --> 00:05:10.079 and a six -year -old. And what am I doing every 00:05:10.079 --> 00:05:13.360 morning? I'm checking their bags. For knives. 00:05:13.980 --> 00:05:22.339 For guns. Last week, I found a halberd. A halberd! 00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:25.939 How does a six -year -old get a hold of a halberd? 00:05:26.509 --> 00:05:28.689 And why are they drawing lines? They're drawing 00:05:28.689 --> 00:05:32.310 lines in the sand. Literal lines in the sand. 00:05:33.550 --> 00:05:54.850 It's crazy. Alright. Put the money in the bag. 00:05:55.800 --> 00:05:58.980 I'm serious. Look, Francine, put the money in 00:05:58.980 --> 00:06:01.540 the bag. Look, I know you keep it in the register. 00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:06.360 Phil? No. Phil? Phil, this is very out of character 00:06:06.360 --> 00:06:08.560 for you. No, it's not. I'm not. It's not me. 00:06:08.660 --> 00:06:11.800 I'm not Phil. Phil? No. Phil? No, put the money 00:06:11.800 --> 00:06:13.819 in the bag. You're still wearing your name tag, 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:18.740 Phil. You were like, I'm going home. My shift's 00:06:18.740 --> 00:06:20.240 over and then you just went into the bathroom. 00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:22.379 No, I went home. I mean, Phil, no. Phil, as your 00:06:22.379 --> 00:06:24.220 shift manager, you're not getting overtime for 00:06:24.220 --> 00:06:27.100 this. No, no. Look, I'm not, Phil. Like, I'm 00:06:27.100 --> 00:06:29.579 a burglar. I mean, a robber. I mean, like, put 00:06:29.579 --> 00:06:32.600 the money. Like, see this bag? Put it in. I'm 00:06:32.600 --> 00:06:37.079 serious. Like, I've got a knife. You're pointing 00:06:37.079 --> 00:06:39.220 a gun at us and you've got a knife as your threat? 00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:42.120 I've got that as well. Phil, if you wanted to 00:06:42.120 --> 00:06:44.360 do this properly, if I was you and I already 00:06:44.360 --> 00:06:46.920 worked here, I'd just use my sign -in code in 00:06:46.920 --> 00:06:49.399 the checkout and just take the cash, put it in 00:06:49.399 --> 00:06:52.180 the bag, avoid the whole bandana thing. No, look 00:06:52.180 --> 00:06:55.240 here. Look, I'm not. Look, I'm 100 % I'm not 00:06:55.240 --> 00:07:00.180 who you say I am. Just, I mean, that's not... 00:07:00.180 --> 00:07:03.800 Do you need money? I can write you a check. I 00:07:03.800 --> 00:07:06.620 can give you more hours. Do you need more hours? 00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:08.680 I just assumed you wouldn't want to do more than 00:07:08.680 --> 00:07:10.620 eight a week. Things have just been tight, you 00:07:10.620 --> 00:07:12.819 know, with the baby and all. And, like... That's 00:07:12.819 --> 00:07:14.519 why I had you die on eight a week. It's just, 00:07:14.519 --> 00:07:16.259 like, it's so expensive. Babies are expensive, 00:07:16.500 --> 00:07:19.019 yeah. Is this news to you, Phil? Yeah, I mean, 00:07:19.040 --> 00:07:21.639 I just never really thought about it. You never 00:07:21.639 --> 00:07:23.699 thought about the consequence of having a baby, 00:07:23.819 --> 00:07:26.079 Phil? Well, you know, it just seemed like a lovely 00:07:26.079 --> 00:07:27.899 idea, and then all of a sudden it was here, and 00:07:27.899 --> 00:07:30.360 then, you know, it needed nappies, and it needed 00:07:30.360 --> 00:07:33.220 baby food and formula, and, like, you know, it 00:07:33.220 --> 00:07:35.199 was the cot and, like, all the clothes and stuff, 00:07:35.360 --> 00:07:37.879 and so... You know, you think about them and 00:07:37.879 --> 00:07:40.060 you just thought they were free, you know? Like, 00:07:40.100 --> 00:07:43.639 no cost in the make, so... No cost in the production, 00:07:43.740 --> 00:07:45.779 aye. I suppose you're right in a way. I just 00:07:45.779 --> 00:07:48.579 kind of thought it would stay that way. Your 00:07:48.579 --> 00:07:51.939 cost is waylaid for 18 years, Phil. You know? 00:07:52.259 --> 00:07:54.459 Oh my god. Shall I put you down for 12 hours 00:07:54.459 --> 00:07:57.000 this week? If you wouldn't mind. Yeah. Is that 00:07:57.000 --> 00:07:59.639 over time? And shall you put down the gun? And 00:07:59.639 --> 00:08:01.839 wherever this knife is. I don't have a knife. 00:08:02.220 --> 00:08:04.459 Look, we won't tell anyone about this. You don't 00:08:04.459 --> 00:08:07.879 have a knife? No, I lied about the knife. I couldn't 00:08:07.879 --> 00:08:10.319 find one. Phil, the thing that I'm most annoyed 00:08:10.319 --> 00:08:13.399 about in all of this today is you left your Tupperware 00:08:13.399 --> 00:08:15.860 from lunch in the sink and you left it to be 00:08:15.860 --> 00:08:18.079 cleaned by someone else. I know, I'm just kind 00:08:18.079 --> 00:08:20.339 of a bit of a scatterbrain now. I don't mind 00:08:20.339 --> 00:08:22.300 cleaning it, but it's like it takes time out 00:08:22.300 --> 00:08:24.079 of my lunch. No, I'm just, I'm not sleeping. 00:08:24.360 --> 00:08:25.240 We're not getting paid to do this. I'm not sleeping 00:08:25.240 --> 00:08:27.819 at night, you know. We're all adults here. It's 00:08:27.819 --> 00:08:30.939 up all night. It's up all night. Just think, 00:08:30.939 --> 00:08:32.700 Phil, you're going to have to Between the BAB 00:08:32.700 --> 00:08:34.559 stopper where? Phil, I don't want to kick you 00:08:34.559 --> 00:08:35.960 while you're down, but all you do talk about 00:08:35.960 --> 00:08:40.460 is your BAB now. It's just, it's just got it 00:08:40.460 --> 00:08:42.740 on the brain, you know? It's whining and it's 00:08:42.740 --> 00:08:45.419 crying and it keeps me up all the time. And like, 00:08:45.440 --> 00:08:48.679 it's just the center of my life now. I just didn't 00:08:48.679 --> 00:08:50.679 think it would be like this. We don't need to 00:08:50.679 --> 00:08:52.220 get into the fact that people have asked to change 00:08:52.220 --> 00:08:54.259 shifts so they don't have to hear Phil talk about 00:08:54.259 --> 00:08:56.480 his BAB in front of him. Okay? Well, look, it's 00:08:56.480 --> 00:08:58.460 important for him to hear it. He'll hear it at 00:08:58.460 --> 00:09:00.129 some point. But he doesn't need to hear it right 00:09:00.129 --> 00:09:02.190 now. In this circumstance... Just put the gun 00:09:02.190 --> 00:09:04.250 down so we can criticise you, Phil. Alright, 00:09:04.330 --> 00:09:07.149 I'll put the gun down. But you might as well 00:09:07.149 --> 00:09:09.070 tell me now. Like, we're having a date. I'll 00:09:09.070 --> 00:09:18.490 take the bandana off. The war! Oh, sure, it was 00:09:18.490 --> 00:09:20.929 brilliant, wasn't it? They got so much done. 00:09:21.370 --> 00:09:25.350 What a godsend. I'm a real positive person. So 00:09:25.350 --> 00:09:28.230 when the war broke out, I said to myself, Nula? 00:09:28.649 --> 00:09:29.909 You're going to stay at home and you're going 00:09:29.909 --> 00:09:32.250 to get all those jobs that are on your long list 00:09:32.250 --> 00:09:34.669 that you haven't touched for Jesus knows how 00:09:34.669 --> 00:09:36.269 long. And you're going to get through them all. 00:09:36.269 --> 00:09:38.250 So I started off with the ironing. And honestly, 00:09:38.429 --> 00:09:40.370 once you get into it, once you get cracking, 00:09:40.549 --> 00:09:43.149 put on a great, you know, a bit of radio and 00:09:43.149 --> 00:09:45.730 get yourself ironing. Oh, sure doesn't it fly 00:09:45.730 --> 00:09:47.769 by? So I got through that in no time at all. 00:09:47.809 --> 00:09:49.090 And then I said, I'm going to do something for 00:09:49.090 --> 00:09:51.700 myself. I'm going to read a book. And you know 00:09:51.700 --> 00:09:53.700 what? I got through all those books. You know 00:09:53.700 --> 00:09:55.620 the books that you have and you never read? You 00:09:55.620 --> 00:09:57.000 know the ones you get for Christmas and you say, 00:09:57.059 --> 00:09:59.000 I'll get to them. But honestly, if you don't 00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:00.399 have the pressure at book club, you're never 00:10:00.399 --> 00:10:01.659 getting to them. And that's the honest truth. 00:10:01.740 --> 00:10:03.559 I'm just being honest with you on that one. So 00:10:03.559 --> 00:10:06.440 I got through a feck ton of books. And it was 00:10:06.440 --> 00:10:08.860 marvellous. I picked up baking. I'd never done 00:10:08.860 --> 00:10:10.639 baking before in my entire life. You know, I 00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:13.399 mean, look at me. I'm not a baker. I'm not a 00:10:13.399 --> 00:10:15.559 baker at all. But I started. And you know what? 00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:17.679 Trying something new. It's great for your old 00:10:17.679 --> 00:10:20.000 mental health. And that is the important thing. 00:10:20.139 --> 00:10:22.139 So I really, I tried something new and I jumped 00:10:22.139 --> 00:10:25.100 in. Now, honestly, oh God, I've been swamped. 00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:27.179 I have been swamped. I've been up to my eyeballs. 00:10:27.279 --> 00:10:28.940 But you know, isn't it better for it? You know 00:10:28.940 --> 00:10:31.200 what I mean? You want to get out and grab life 00:10:31.200 --> 00:10:33.120 by the zest. And that's what I'm going to get 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:34.840 to today. I'm going to meet the girls today for 00:10:34.840 --> 00:10:37.100 a stroll down the street. And sure, isn't life 00:10:37.100 --> 00:10:43.480 grand? The whole thing about this war, the thing 00:10:43.480 --> 00:10:47.360 that I've heard, is it's absolutely bloody good 00:10:47.360 --> 00:10:50.320 for nothing. This war is absolutely good for 00:10:50.320 --> 00:11:04.419 nothing. I can hear them calling. They want us 00:11:04.419 --> 00:11:12.120 to ascend. We must leave. We must commit ourselves 00:11:12.120 --> 00:11:19.320 to the unholy majesty of the train. It will rise 00:11:19.320 --> 00:11:29.019 us above us. It will take us. Because the wider 00:11:29.019 --> 00:11:32.059 world has no idea about anything currently going 00:11:32.059 --> 00:11:36.259 on in Dunbraken. Tourists still regularly show 00:11:36.259 --> 00:11:39.200 up to this small slice of the larger cake known 00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:48.980 as John Milton's Paradise Lost. So girls, I was 00:11:48.980 --> 00:11:51.500 thinking the first place that we should stop 00:11:51.500 --> 00:11:55.320 on our little trip is like the Spam Cafe? Oh 00:11:55.320 --> 00:11:59.240 my god, I read about that on Yelp. Like, did 00:11:59.240 --> 00:12:01.200 you hear, like, they were getting rations during 00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:03.519 the war. And I was like, just spam. Oh, my gosh, 00:12:03.519 --> 00:12:07.419 that's so cute. So cute. And, like, they turn 00:12:07.419 --> 00:12:08.820 their little sausage rolls, like, they just put 00:12:08.820 --> 00:12:11.399 spam inside them. Spam, that's, like, so, like, 00:12:11.460 --> 00:12:16.899 British. What's a sausage roll? It's, like, it's 00:12:16.899 --> 00:12:19.879 kind of like a pig in the blanket. Like a bread 00:12:19.879 --> 00:12:24.200 thingy with, like, meat in the middle. Oh, my 00:12:24.200 --> 00:12:27.580 God. That's so cute. Right? Oh, my God. So quaint 00:12:27.580 --> 00:12:30.840 here, right? So quaint. Oh, my God. So, like, 00:12:30.919 --> 00:12:34.059 is that our first stop? Yeah. Yeah. So Spam Cafe 00:12:34.059 --> 00:12:37.899 is our first stop. Oh. The Scam Cafe had very 00:12:37.899 --> 00:12:41.379 bad reviews. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I kind of 00:12:41.379 --> 00:12:43.340 want to meet that Nigerian prince. He sounds 00:12:43.340 --> 00:12:47.139 hot. They do say if you come to Ireland to make 00:12:47.139 --> 00:12:49.460 sure you get scammed at least once. At least 00:12:49.460 --> 00:12:52.000 once. Oh, like for the experience. Yeah, just 00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:54.440 for the experience, you know? A good story to 00:12:54.440 --> 00:12:56.120 tell. Like, they're so nice. Are they really 00:12:56.120 --> 00:12:58.240 going to scam you that bad? Exactly. And that 00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:00.799 accent. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'll give them 00:13:00.799 --> 00:13:03.759 my bank details any time. Any time. I'm sure. 00:13:03.860 --> 00:13:07.159 What's a dollar? It's probably like 100 euros, 00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:11.720 right? So many. Their euros are so cute. I know. 00:13:11.820 --> 00:13:13.360 They're so cute. And they're so, like, colorful. 00:13:13.720 --> 00:13:15.960 And, like, they're all a different size. Who 00:13:15.960 --> 00:13:19.360 knows what's what? Who knows? I mean, like, can 00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:23.039 we get a Guinness first? Oh, my God. Or is it 00:13:23.039 --> 00:13:27.659 with the war? Is that off? No, I think Guinness 00:13:27.659 --> 00:13:33.100 is still on. Right. Yeah. Do they have a... Pubs? 00:13:33.259 --> 00:13:38.159 Yeah, pubs. Yeah, that's their bar. Like a bar. 00:13:38.500 --> 00:13:42.259 But like they don't do cocktails. No. It's just 00:13:42.259 --> 00:13:45.740 like old men. I read about it. It's real. They're 00:13:45.740 --> 00:13:47.419 just sitting there drinking their little beers. 00:13:47.620 --> 00:13:50.779 And I've heard that if there is like a soccer 00:13:50.779 --> 00:13:55.759 match, then there's young men. Okay. Maybe we 00:13:55.759 --> 00:13:59.860 could go out and get a drink in a pub. And see 00:13:59.860 --> 00:14:03.759 a soccer match. Well, like, are we allowed in 00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:07.320 if it's all, like, old men and young men and 00:14:07.320 --> 00:14:11.019 drinking little... What did you call it? Guinness? 00:14:11.019 --> 00:14:13.059 Guinness. I think they've come some way. I don't 00:14:13.059 --> 00:14:16.259 think... Oh, but it is wartime. Maybe women aren't 00:14:16.259 --> 00:14:19.100 allowed. Yeah. I don't know. Like, they would 00:14:19.100 --> 00:14:22.080 be delighted to see us, don't you think? No, 00:14:22.080 --> 00:14:24.220 I think, like, probably, like, most of the women 00:14:24.220 --> 00:14:26.240 are, like, busy. Like, I mean, like, you know, 00:14:26.259 --> 00:14:29.399 like the... costumes and stuff. Oh, they're little 00:14:29.399 --> 00:14:34.019 wartime costumes. Or maybe in the meals. Yeah, 00:14:34.019 --> 00:14:37.220 the lunches for when they have a break during 00:14:37.220 --> 00:14:41.120 the war. There's no glamour. Yeah, so maybe the 00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:43.159 men would be really happy to see some women. 00:14:43.460 --> 00:14:47.539 Yeah. They deserve a break. Something to look 00:14:47.539 --> 00:14:51.519 forward to. War's not nice. Alright there, loves. 00:14:51.639 --> 00:14:53.639 How's you going there? Oh, look at the four of 00:14:53.639 --> 00:14:57.950 yous. What are yous doing here? He's come right 00:14:57.950 --> 00:15:01.070 up to her. I got nothing. Is he talking to her? 00:15:01.409 --> 00:15:03.570 Are you speaking English? He's doing well there 00:15:03.570 --> 00:15:06.470 now. I'm doing great. Oh my gosh, he is so cute. 00:15:06.470 --> 00:15:08.389 Sorry, can you say that again? Do you speak American? 00:15:09.909 --> 00:15:13.470 I don't know. Sorry, can you point us to the 00:15:13.470 --> 00:15:16.929 nearest pub? The nearest pub you want to go to? 00:15:16.990 --> 00:15:19.950 Is that it? Yeah, we would love it. Look, he's 00:15:19.950 --> 00:15:23.009 blushing. Are we allowed in? Do you have any 00:15:23.009 --> 00:15:25.429 spam? Oh, no, I wouldn't go in for that myself 00:15:25.429 --> 00:15:27.149 now. But if you go down there, so you want to 00:15:27.149 --> 00:15:28.809 go down to the left up there. And now if you 00:15:28.809 --> 00:15:31.690 know the church, do you know the church? Right. 00:15:31.809 --> 00:15:33.190 Well, that's good, because if you got to the 00:15:33.190 --> 00:15:35.370 church, everyone is religious here. No, don't 00:15:35.370 --> 00:15:36.730 worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. We're not picking 00:15:36.730 --> 00:15:38.429 no divide. That's a different story. That's a 00:15:38.429 --> 00:15:40.409 different one. If you've got to the church, you 00:15:40.409 --> 00:15:43.529 went too far. OK, does that help? I agree. The 00:15:43.529 --> 00:15:45.629 church goes too far in a lot of ways. Yeah, it 00:15:45.629 --> 00:15:48.090 really does. Like, it really just does not belong 00:15:48.090 --> 00:15:50.490 in the government. It's actually worse in America, 00:15:50.730 --> 00:15:52.809 though. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Yeah, we're glad 00:15:52.809 --> 00:15:55.190 of the break. They're all from America. Yeah. 00:15:55.269 --> 00:15:57.250 Yeah, we're here on vacation. Yeah. Oh, good 00:15:57.250 --> 00:15:59.230 for you. It's a lovely time to come here. My 00:15:59.230 --> 00:16:01.570 great -great -grandfather was actually Irish. 00:16:01.950 --> 00:16:04.210 Oh, my God. Yeah. You didn't tell me that. My 00:16:04.210 --> 00:16:05.889 great -great -grandfather passed. So was mine. 00:16:06.009 --> 00:16:09.340 Oh, my God. Did you, like, know him? Tell me, 00:16:09.340 --> 00:16:12.159 was it Pot McCleary or Pot O 'Leary or Pot McHugh 00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:17.360 or Pot Jim or Pot Quinn or Pot O 'Connor or Pot 00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:21.259 Butler or Pot McCormick or Pot... Did I say Pot 00:16:21.259 --> 00:16:29.779 Jim? Well, we're Americans. We're Americans living 00:16:29.779 --> 00:16:31.440 in Dunbracken. Yeah, we've been here a little 00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:33.559 while. We care about this place. It's great. 00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:35.379 But we've been here three months. It's a little 00:16:35.379 --> 00:16:38.340 rainy. Yeah. It's a lot rainy. We could say it's 00:16:38.340 --> 00:16:40.480 a lot rainy here. Yeah. But it's nice. You know, 00:16:40.519 --> 00:16:43.279 we care about this and we want to support the 00:16:43.279 --> 00:16:44.779 war. We want to support the war. Well, we want 00:16:44.779 --> 00:16:46.399 to support our brothers and sisters. That's right. 00:16:46.519 --> 00:16:47.940 Our brothers and sisters most of all. Definitely. 00:16:48.159 --> 00:16:50.480 Including our actual brothers and sisters. I 00:16:50.480 --> 00:16:53.080 want to support them too as well as the metaphorical. 00:16:53.080 --> 00:16:56.580 Yeah. That's why. Because we got hired on. By 00:16:56.580 --> 00:16:58.299 my brothers. By your brothers. Yeah. Sharon. 00:16:58.620 --> 00:17:00.000 Sharon and Keith. They moved here a year ago. 00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:01.259 Sharon and Keith. We were just working on the 00:17:01.259 --> 00:17:03.139 house. But then when the war broke out. We're 00:17:03.139 --> 00:17:05.509 going to support them and our Irish. brothers 00:17:05.509 --> 00:17:07.210 and sisters as well. And it was easy. I mean, 00:17:07.210 --> 00:17:09.369 we're Americans. We know how to fight. We know 00:17:09.369 --> 00:17:12.950 how to fight in a war. Oh, we know how to fight. 00:17:13.150 --> 00:17:15.930 We know how to fight. We'll throw down. We'll 00:17:15.930 --> 00:17:17.950 throw down. Especially you, Jared. You'll throw 00:17:17.950 --> 00:17:21.150 down hard, bro. Yeah, you build. Don't act like 00:17:21.150 --> 00:17:22.990 you don't know. Hey, Jared. Okay, I know how 00:17:22.990 --> 00:17:24.329 to fight. I know how to fight. But anyway, we're 00:17:24.329 --> 00:17:27.269 proud to be in here. We're proud Americans fighting 00:17:27.269 --> 00:17:28.930 alongside our Irish brothers and sisters. I would 00:17:28.930 --> 00:17:30.349 like to talk about the fighting. Can we talk 00:17:30.349 --> 00:17:31.930 about the fighting, Jared? Okay. Okay. Well, 00:17:31.950 --> 00:17:34.769 hold on. I'm kind of hungry now, though. I'm 00:17:34.769 --> 00:17:37.049 just saying. I'll buy you lunch later. I'm sorry. 00:17:37.150 --> 00:17:38.950 I'm hungry. I'll buy you lunch later. We worked 00:17:38.950 --> 00:17:41.809 in the house. We're not fighting. I'm just a 00:17:41.809 --> 00:17:43.369 little hungry. I'm not fighting right now. No, 00:17:43.369 --> 00:17:44.789 we're not fighting right now. I'm just a little 00:17:44.789 --> 00:17:47.349 hungry. I mean, we kind of are fighting a little 00:17:47.349 --> 00:17:48.490 bit. I mean, we're fighting with each other. 00:17:48.549 --> 00:17:49.930 That's who we're fighting. That's who we're fighting. 00:17:50.690 --> 00:17:54.910 Sure, I don't even know what it's all about. 00:17:55.170 --> 00:17:58.329 They're just making a quarrel racket, and it's 00:17:58.329 --> 00:18:02.750 not very considerate of the rest of us who... 00:18:03.420 --> 00:18:08.740 Don't have a strong opinion either way. But could 00:18:08.740 --> 00:18:16.279 they not just keep it down? My name is Eugene 00:18:16.279 --> 00:18:23.140 Simmons. And I am the general of the Anti -Mail 00:18:23.140 --> 00:18:32.849 Oral Defence Force Legion. When the train first 00:18:32.849 --> 00:18:37.730 went up, I just knew something had to be done. 00:18:41.869 --> 00:18:45.869 For too long, the mayor's force has been coming 00:18:45.869 --> 00:18:52.309 into my town, pillaging, looting, robbing the 00:18:52.309 --> 00:18:57.569 sick, the old, the infirm, and the cat lover. 00:18:59.170 --> 00:19:05.630 Well... Not my watch. As long as that train's 00:19:05.630 --> 00:19:09.410 up in that there sky, Meyer's forces are going 00:19:09.410 --> 00:19:18.650 to die. As it just so turns out, we weren't the 00:19:18.650 --> 00:19:27.900 only reporters on the scene of this war. Hello, 00:19:27.940 --> 00:19:30.519 everybody, and welcome to Dumb Bracken 1 at 5 00:19:30.519 --> 00:19:34.279 .7. I am here broadcasting from the front lines 00:19:34.279 --> 00:19:37.900 of the Dumb Bracken War. You know, I may not 00:19:37.900 --> 00:19:41.440 sound like my normal, cheery self, but times 00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:43.740 are hard, and it's rough. It's rough out here. 00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:46.019 I wanted to check in with some of the soldiers. 00:19:46.220 --> 00:19:51.259 I'm here in the trenches. Hey, hey, you, you. 00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:53.960 What are you still doing here? We've got to move. 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:55.200 We've got to move. They're coming through here 00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:57.410 at any moment. I know. I know. What's your name? 00:19:57.450 --> 00:20:00.349 Who are you? John Bidderson. John... John Bidderson. 00:20:00.549 --> 00:20:03.430 Bidderson? John Bidderson. Yeah. How's your day 00:20:03.430 --> 00:20:04.930 going? Are you finding... It's a terrible day. 00:20:05.130 --> 00:20:06.809 There's soldiers coming through here at any time. 00:20:06.849 --> 00:20:08.170 We've got to escape. We've got to get out of 00:20:08.170 --> 00:20:10.109 here. It's a terrible time. What are you still 00:20:10.109 --> 00:20:13.250 doing here? I'm here to let the public know about 00:20:13.250 --> 00:20:15.529 how bad the war is. Well, and I'm here to let 00:20:15.529 --> 00:20:17.490 you know that we need to escape at this moment. 00:20:17.630 --> 00:20:19.269 We don't have much time left. It's John Bidderson 00:20:19.269 --> 00:20:21.089 and I'm saying that we need to get out of here. 00:20:21.170 --> 00:20:23.230 That's a Bidderson guarantee. Okay, John. I'll 00:20:23.230 --> 00:20:26.230 go with you. Let's go. That's right. When you 00:20:26.230 --> 00:20:28.289 have a Biddleson by your side, nothing bad can 00:20:28.289 --> 00:20:30.009 ever happen to you. I really appreciate that. 00:20:30.150 --> 00:20:31.490 John, what are you doing here? You've got to 00:20:31.490 --> 00:20:32.990 get off the battlefield. Why are you here, man? 00:20:33.069 --> 00:20:34.630 I know. It's this other man. He's not coming 00:20:34.630 --> 00:20:36.769 out here. What are you doing, sir? I have a Biddleson 00:20:36.769 --> 00:20:37.730 by your side. You have to get out of here, but 00:20:37.730 --> 00:20:39.049 that's not what's happening right now because 00:20:39.049 --> 00:20:40.490 he's over here. Well, you've got to get in the 00:20:40.490 --> 00:20:42.730 last convoy. Roger's selling from Dunbracken 00:20:42.730 --> 00:20:44.170 105 .7. It's the last job we're going to Dunbracken. 00:20:44.250 --> 00:20:46.210 That's what's happening right now. Roger, Roger, 00:20:46.289 --> 00:20:47.730 you've got to come with us. They're about to 00:20:47.730 --> 00:20:49.569 get bombed. You've got to go. I can't leave. 00:20:49.829 --> 00:20:53.309 Okay. I have to report the news for everybody 00:20:53.309 --> 00:21:00.059 in Dunbracken. I leave. Folks, things are getting 00:21:00.059 --> 00:21:05.740 really serious here. Wow. Is that your guy making 00:21:05.740 --> 00:21:07.980 those noises? That's just a taste of what's going 00:21:07.980 --> 00:21:09.460 to be happening in the next few minutes. Wow, 00:21:09.539 --> 00:21:12.519 he's really good. He's pre -empting it. You've 00:21:12.519 --> 00:21:13.700 got to get out of here. You've got to come with 00:21:13.700 --> 00:21:15.420 us. We're going to the last convoy. Jump in the 00:21:15.420 --> 00:21:18.099 van. I'll come with you. Sorry, what's your name, 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:21.339 sir? Sorry, I'm just providing a bit of flavor 00:21:21.339 --> 00:21:25.059 to the scenario here. It's very dangerous. You 00:21:25.059 --> 00:21:27.880 should be heading up. This is Clement. Clement, 00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:30.299 I've been on the radio for a long time, and if 00:21:30.299 --> 00:21:32.559 we get through this war, I'd love you to be on 00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:36.019 my team. I'm a massive fan of Pitbull. That's 00:21:36.019 --> 00:21:46.700 great. He and I don't have any association. It's 00:21:46.700 --> 00:21:49.400 really dangerous. I understand that. This war 00:21:49.400 --> 00:21:57.990 is going to go worldwide. just very good at time 00:21:57.990 --> 00:22:08.890 defense. That was over a cow grill. This is Biddleston. 00:22:08.890 --> 00:22:11.289 Everyone all right back there? We're okay, Biddleston. 00:22:11.769 --> 00:22:14.319 Listeners have been reckoned. The sights that 00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:16.740 I'm seeing today are horrible. These people, 00:22:16.819 --> 00:22:18.680 they're running for their lives. Yeah, on the 00:22:18.680 --> 00:22:21.700 radio? Sorry, Roger, I'm just explaining to our 00:22:21.700 --> 00:22:24.619 driver. Yeah, he's from the radio. Yeah. You 00:22:24.619 --> 00:22:26.700 want me to change the radio? No, no, I'm saying 00:22:26.700 --> 00:22:28.819 he's from the radio. Can you let me finish? I'm 00:22:28.819 --> 00:22:32.720 trying to speak to my listeners. The scenes are 00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:36.660 bloody and horrible, and I'm definitely at risk 00:22:36.660 --> 00:22:40.609 of danger here. It's not... It's not good for 00:22:40.609 --> 00:22:43.009 anybody. Nobody should be here. Get safe while 00:22:43.009 --> 00:22:49.930 you can. Thank you, Clement. It's very dramatic. 00:22:50.730 --> 00:22:53.089 If there were danger about you, you'd be fucked. 00:22:53.589 --> 00:22:55.809 Well, thank God I've got you guys to look after 00:22:55.809 --> 00:23:08.029 me and protect me from the danger. War? Sure, 00:23:08.170 --> 00:23:11.279 what's that good for? Absolutely bloody nothing. 00:23:14.420 --> 00:23:16.259 That's who we're fighting. Oh wait, you know, 00:23:16.279 --> 00:23:18.640 the old enemy. The enemy. That's the other side. 00:23:18.700 --> 00:23:21.019 Really the other side. The other side. This side, 00:23:21.099 --> 00:23:22.440 we're fighting the other side. And Chris, Jerry, 00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:24.880 you guys are good fighters. You're Americans 00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:28.000 fighting the good fight. For the Irish. Yeah, 00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:30.079 no, we love the Irish. We love fighting for them. 00:23:30.259 --> 00:23:32.420 Yeah. I mean, we love any fighting. We just love 00:23:32.420 --> 00:23:34.960 doing it. But, you know, I have to admit, after 00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:37.380 since coming over here, it's really impressive. 00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:39.710 I didn't realize what... Cold stone killers you 00:23:39.710 --> 00:23:43.349 were. We are. Yeah. I know. I just, it's definitely 00:23:43.349 --> 00:23:46.369 cold. Like temperature wise? Don't be silly. 00:23:46.490 --> 00:23:48.869 I'm talking my eyes. I'm talking my eyes. Look 00:23:48.869 --> 00:23:51.009 at my eyes. They're cold. They are. Yeah. He's 00:23:51.009 --> 00:23:52.930 like shedding tears right now, Bill. Yeah. That's 00:23:52.930 --> 00:23:56.599 how I just, I look at them and you're like. I 00:23:56.599 --> 00:23:58.519 just kill. Sometimes I'm not even sure which 00:23:58.519 --> 00:24:00.579 side they're on, and I don't care. Well, I think 00:24:00.579 --> 00:24:02.400 we should care. I mean, you know, we're fighting 00:24:02.400 --> 00:24:04.920 for Sherrod, Sharon, and... It's not my country. 00:24:05.079 --> 00:24:06.519 Well, it's our... I'm just killing. I'm just 00:24:06.519 --> 00:24:08.000 here to kill. No, Jared's bringing up a really 00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:10.220 good point, right? We can kill indiscriminately 00:24:10.220 --> 00:24:12.299 as long as it's not on U .S. soil. Exactly. That's 00:24:12.299 --> 00:24:14.059 a really good point. That's international law. 00:24:14.220 --> 00:24:16.140 That's international law. Is it? It is international 00:24:16.140 --> 00:24:18.640 law. Okay. We are only responsible for the things 00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:20.960 that we do in the United States. Mm -hmm. Anywhere 00:24:20.960 --> 00:24:22.779 else in the world. I mean, certainly Dunbracken 00:24:22.779 --> 00:24:25.460 has a city council. They have a legal code. But 00:24:25.460 --> 00:24:27.819 it doesn't apply to us. We're not citizens here. 00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:31.740 Are they American? No. It doesn't matter. But 00:24:31.740 --> 00:24:33.099 we're the only Americans here. There might be 00:24:33.099 --> 00:24:34.680 other Americans that have infiltrated their government. 00:24:34.859 --> 00:24:36.859 Have you thought about that? Yes. And we kill 00:24:36.859 --> 00:24:38.539 them. It doesn't matter because it's not in American 00:24:38.539 --> 00:24:40.940 soil. Yeah, that's a good point. Cold -blooded 00:24:40.940 --> 00:24:43.500 killers. It's in the Constitution. To kill... 00:24:44.209 --> 00:24:46.890 Americans on... Anywhere outside of the U .S. 00:24:46.890 --> 00:24:49.690 boundaries, you're totally okay. Got it. I know 00:24:49.690 --> 00:24:52.049 it. You know, I took a class. I took a law class. 00:24:52.250 --> 00:24:55.089 Wow. In high school? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Our senior 00:24:55.089 --> 00:24:57.289 year of high school, we were there year 12. That's 00:24:57.289 --> 00:25:00.130 my guess. Or grade 12. Do you feel like you're 00:25:00.130 --> 00:25:02.410 really trying to, like, fit in here? I'm really 00:25:02.410 --> 00:25:05.170 trying. That's why I got these pants. I mean, 00:25:05.170 --> 00:25:06.769 they're nice. They're nice. They're very nice 00:25:06.769 --> 00:25:09.210 pants. I bought them from the Dunbrack and Taylor. 00:25:09.390 --> 00:25:11.390 He's very pleasant. They're very nice. They're 00:25:11.390 --> 00:25:13.410 very green. I love them. Do you think I'm gaining 00:25:13.410 --> 00:25:16.109 weight? Yeah. But like good weight. In a good 00:25:16.109 --> 00:25:17.869 way. Yeah, you look healthy. You needed to gain 00:25:17.869 --> 00:25:19.309 a little bit of weight. I felt a little skinny. 00:25:19.430 --> 00:25:21.210 I'm glad you guys noticed that. I feel like we 00:25:21.210 --> 00:25:23.950 can really let loose here. I mean, your pants 00:25:23.950 --> 00:25:25.670 are really good. I mean, they're really great 00:25:25.670 --> 00:25:27.890 camouflage, but the green in the camouflage is 00:25:27.890 --> 00:25:30.910 a little bit bright. Oh. So I'm not sure. It's 00:25:30.910 --> 00:25:34.549 more of like a mossy gray green. Your jacket 00:25:34.549 --> 00:25:37.049 looks spot on, though, Jared. Thank you very 00:25:37.049 --> 00:25:39.630 much. I got this. It does have that hole. I mean, 00:25:39.630 --> 00:25:40.869 was that from a bullet? Was that when we were 00:25:40.869 --> 00:25:43.769 getting shot? You weren't there? I think I was 00:25:43.769 --> 00:25:45.039 back at the house. I had to single -handedly 00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:47.440 patch up Jared. It was horrible. Oh, shoot. I'm 00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:49.220 sorry. Yeah, someone stared at him for too long 00:25:49.220 --> 00:25:51.579 and it just exploded right on his shoulder. Whoa. 00:25:51.799 --> 00:25:54.900 It's okay. Are you okay? It's war, man. This 00:25:54.900 --> 00:25:57.720 is what it's like. So the existence of humans 00:25:57.720 --> 00:26:00.059 is all war. So it doesn't matter. That's not 00:26:00.059 --> 00:26:02.480 true. Think of the bonobos. The bonobos are all 00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:05.960 about sex. No, it's not. It's about war. Sex 00:26:05.960 --> 00:26:09.660 is just an excuse for them to fight. I've been 00:26:09.660 --> 00:26:11.220 saying that a lot. I've been saying that sex 00:26:11.220 --> 00:26:12.559 is... They have sex instead of fighting. I wonder 00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:14.230 if we could introduce that as a... I know we're 00:26:14.230 --> 00:26:15.750 all cold stone killers, but I'm wondering if 00:26:15.750 --> 00:26:17.990 we could introduce ideas of sex and sexuality 00:26:17.990 --> 00:26:20.089 into the conversations about this war. People 00:26:20.089 --> 00:26:21.450 could have sex instead of fighting each other. 00:26:21.630 --> 00:26:23.950 Phil, I think Ireland is changing you, man. Yeah. 00:26:24.130 --> 00:26:26.450 You're getting soft. You're getting soft. You're 00:26:26.450 --> 00:26:30.130 getting sexy. No, I'm not. I am sexy. I am sexy, 00:26:30.390 --> 00:26:33.069 but it doesn't matter, you guys. You're soft. 00:26:33.269 --> 00:26:36.230 Soft on the underbelly. Feel my belly. I'm not 00:26:36.230 --> 00:26:38.549 touching you. How does it feel? It does kind 00:26:38.549 --> 00:26:41.630 of feel awesome. Touch it, Jared. Let me feel. 00:26:42.829 --> 00:26:45.049 And that felt good back to me. Thank you. Thank 00:26:45.049 --> 00:26:48.269 you. Thank you. It was consensual. I feel like 00:26:48.269 --> 00:26:54.309 a bonobo. Well, you know how it is in war times. 00:26:54.769 --> 00:26:56.769 You got your good days and you got your bad days. 00:26:57.289 --> 00:26:59.609 But, you know, you got to make the best of what's 00:26:59.609 --> 00:27:02.710 coming to you. So I've been trying to stay in 00:27:02.710 --> 00:27:06.150 the house a fair bit. Because, you know, there's 00:27:06.150 --> 00:27:09.829 that big old red ant running about. I heard he 00:27:09.829 --> 00:27:13.220 beat up a crocodile. But... Like, as long as 00:27:13.220 --> 00:27:15.619 you stay out of his way, you're probably safe. 00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:18.759 But he's been smashing into cars and smashing 00:27:18.759 --> 00:27:21.480 up the fronts of shops like nobody's business. 00:27:22.359 --> 00:27:25.759 So what I did, I waited till the streets got 00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:29.339 a wee bit quieter. And then I snuck off after 00:27:29.339 --> 00:27:31.960 him, followed his, you know, followed his trail. 00:27:32.579 --> 00:27:35.440 Followed his wake of destruction. And it turns 00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:38.859 out, he's leaving some weird secretion all over 00:27:38.859 --> 00:27:41.549 the ground and the broken glass and stuff. So 00:27:41.549 --> 00:27:44.609 I collect it all up, scrape it down into my wee 00:27:44.609 --> 00:27:47.210 bucket, and I've been just going down the market 00:27:47.210 --> 00:27:50.269 on the Sundays and selling it. You'd be surprised 00:27:50.269 --> 00:27:53.170 with the rationing that's going on. People will 00:27:53.170 --> 00:27:57.049 eat anything. And, you know, it's got an interesting 00:27:57.049 --> 00:28:00.230 tang to it. You know, it's got like an umami 00:28:00.230 --> 00:28:04.109 undercurrent. So I've been making a wee bit of 00:28:04.109 --> 00:28:05.950 side cash. You've got to have a side hustle. 00:28:06.130 --> 00:28:08.109 You know, you've got to be making money where 00:28:08.109 --> 00:28:18.599 you can get it. So, like, I can't complain. So 00:28:18.599 --> 00:28:20.819 we're all good though, right? Like, we don't 00:28:20.819 --> 00:28:23.519 need to say anything about the gun and the bag 00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:25.700 and the money and this. We have CCTV, Phil. Like, 00:28:25.700 --> 00:28:27.799 someone's going to... I can't just wipe a tape 00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:30.160 without an explanation. Now, there's a form you 00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:33.980 can fill out. Right. Paternity leave. Well, I 00:28:33.980 --> 00:28:36.559 kind of need the R still. I'd make a deal with 00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:38.299 you. If you stop talking about the baby, I won't 00:28:38.299 --> 00:28:41.700 talk about you holding the store up. Okay. That's 00:28:41.700 --> 00:28:44.519 a deal. I'll never mention it again. All right, 00:28:44.559 --> 00:28:46.440 but as soon as you do. It's just a shame one 00:28:46.440 --> 00:28:52.299 of our regulars is here. Wendy, just... Give 00:28:52.299 --> 00:28:56.799 me the gun. Give me the gun. No. Give me the 00:28:56.799 --> 00:28:58.720 gun. I don't want it. Wendy. I'll give you a 00:28:58.720 --> 00:29:01.019 £20 voucher. Wendy, we told you to leave. £20 00:29:01.019 --> 00:29:04.000 voucher. Told you to leave. And not a word. £25 00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:07.140 voucher. Make it 50. You can give me the gun. 00:29:07.480 --> 00:29:10.700 30. Phil, do the right thing. Phil, kill Wendy. 00:29:10.960 --> 00:29:14.059 I don't think I can really shoot anyone. Don't 00:29:14.059 --> 00:29:16.200 point it at me, please. Look, I'm sorry, Wendy, 00:29:16.279 --> 00:29:18.299 but you just kind of got caught. Phil, I'll not 00:29:18.299 --> 00:29:20.480 say anything. I'll take the 30 and I'll go. Look, 00:29:20.519 --> 00:29:22.859 I can't. Shoot as strong -armed as Wendy. Look, 00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:25.200 I know you're a gossip, Wendy. You need to learn, 00:29:25.299 --> 00:29:28.000 Wendy. You'll never keep this in. You haven't 00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:31.019 kept a secret in all your life. My kids! My kids! 00:29:31.299 --> 00:29:34.009 I deleted next door because of you. That's how 00:29:34.009 --> 00:29:36.150 much of a gossip you are. You're on there constantly. 00:29:36.289 --> 00:29:38.930 Someone's burning out the bins. And someone has 00:29:38.930 --> 00:29:41.109 to post about it. It's you, Wendy. You're doing 00:29:41.109 --> 00:29:43.450 it for attention. You can't prove that. It's 00:29:43.450 --> 00:29:46.410 on my ring doorbell. What's that? It's my wee 00:29:46.410 --> 00:29:48.930 camera. So it was originally intended for the 00:29:48.930 --> 00:29:52.569 shop. Okay, guys. The CCTV, like, it was... We 00:29:52.569 --> 00:29:55.509 did have it. But I just needed... I wanted to 00:29:55.509 --> 00:29:57.549 protect my own property a bit more. So I just 00:29:57.549 --> 00:30:00.230 took it out, fired it home. And I have footage 00:30:00.230 --> 00:30:03.059 of Wendy burning out the bins. Yeah. That little 00:30:03.059 --> 00:30:06.960 teddy in the top corner of the store, that's 00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:09.960 just to hide the smoke detector. It's not a baby 00:30:09.960 --> 00:30:12.700 cam like we said. So have you been seeing me 00:30:12.700 --> 00:30:15.819 taking all the Twixes too? No, we haven't. I 00:30:15.819 --> 00:30:17.839 mean... Unless you're taking the Twixes that 00:30:17.839 --> 00:30:19.759 she leaves outside on her porch every day for 00:30:19.759 --> 00:30:22.480 the cats. I watch the cats eat those. I'm not 00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:24.940 taking those, no. I've just ones at the front 00:30:24.940 --> 00:30:27.740 counter. Wendy, you're on fucking thin ice. I 00:30:27.740 --> 00:30:30.720 can forgive... holding up the shop, but I draw 00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:32.660 a line at stealing Twix's. Give me the gun. Give 00:30:32.660 --> 00:30:36.619 me the gun. Phil, give William the gun. I can 00:30:36.619 --> 00:30:39.759 do it. This can be part of our deal. Phil, what 00:30:39.759 --> 00:30:41.599 are you talking about? I think we're on your 00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:44.660 side, Phil. Yeah, 100%. Hey, maybe just get out 00:30:44.660 --> 00:30:46.710 of your system. It'd be good for you. Oh, don't 00:30:46.710 --> 00:30:48.309 get anything out of your system. I'll just go. 00:30:48.829 --> 00:30:51.009 I'll say nothing to no one. I've locked the door. 00:30:51.190 --> 00:30:53.609 Have you any last words, Jay? I'll just pull 00:30:53.609 --> 00:30:55.670 the blinder. Oh, my kids. What are they going 00:30:55.670 --> 00:30:57.230 to think of me? They're going to think you're 00:30:57.230 --> 00:30:59.589 a gossip. Well, tell them you ran off to, like, 00:30:59.630 --> 00:31:02.130 become an actor or something, you know? Or, like, 00:31:02.190 --> 00:31:04.450 to go to the big city. Don't worry, we'll release 00:31:04.450 --> 00:31:07.029 the ring footage and say it's a short, independent 00:31:07.029 --> 00:31:10.029 film. Don't. They can't know I'm a bin burner. 00:31:10.539 --> 00:31:12.460 Please don't kill me, Phil. We'll not know you're 00:31:12.460 --> 00:31:14.759 a bin burner. We'll leave them with a good idea 00:31:14.759 --> 00:31:17.319 of you, Wendy. All right. We'll think you're 00:31:17.319 --> 00:31:20.099 a hero. We'll bring Twixes to your wake. Lord, 00:31:20.140 --> 00:31:26.079 into your hands I commit my spirit. Goodbye. 00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:43.799 marble. She was out in the streets, but it wasn't 00:31:43.799 --> 00:31:48.519 marble at all. It was an actual giant ant. And, 00:31:48.519 --> 00:31:53.319 well, I was quite disappointed. I haven't seen 00:31:53.319 --> 00:31:57.700 giant Aunt Mabel in a few years now. She used 00:31:57.700 --> 00:32:01.519 to always send me 25 pounds on me birthday, but 00:32:01.519 --> 00:32:04.440 I haven't got that, and I sort of needed it last 00:32:04.440 --> 00:32:07.539 year because I needed to get the maintenance 00:32:07.539 --> 00:32:10.349 done on the lawnmower. Because, sure, did you 00:32:10.349 --> 00:32:13.369 know that the blade broke on it? I went over, 00:32:13.470 --> 00:32:16.690 I was doing the lawn, and there was a rock. I 00:32:16.690 --> 00:32:18.789 think one of the neighbour kids there threw a 00:32:18.789 --> 00:32:21.329 rock into my garden, and because the grass was 00:32:21.329 --> 00:32:23.329 long, sure, of course, I didn't see it until 00:32:23.329 --> 00:32:26.789 I went out to start doing the lawn. But, sure, 00:32:26.910 --> 00:32:29.210 I haven't even been able to do the grass. The 00:32:29.210 --> 00:32:31.509 grass is so long now, because, sure, I haven't 00:32:31.509 --> 00:32:33.990 been able to get it repaired, because there's 00:32:33.990 --> 00:32:37.109 a bloody war on and such. But anyway, if you 00:32:37.109 --> 00:32:40.309 see Giant Aunt Mabel, just tell her. Maybe her 00:32:40.309 --> 00:32:43.289 cards are getting lost in the post. Of course, 00:32:43.289 --> 00:32:45.869 the post is not at the minute either. But hopefully, 00:32:46.210 --> 00:32:48.730 hopefully they get back. There's probably a backlog 00:32:48.730 --> 00:32:52.569 in the Royal Mail, I'd imagine. But yes, if you 00:32:52.569 --> 00:32:55.089 see Aunt Mabel, just let her know that I'm asking 00:32:55.089 --> 00:33:03.450 for her. Moving! Moving! Train called us on our 00:33:03.450 --> 00:33:16.950 left! Push them back! I said shoot straight. 00:33:17.130 --> 00:33:24.329 You're shooting everything but the enemy. Where 00:33:24.329 --> 00:33:28.509 the hell's my damn cup of tea? How in the hell 00:33:28.509 --> 00:33:30.809 am I supposed to keep this village safe? I'm 00:33:30.809 --> 00:33:34.490 not hydrated with the village's taste. Come on. 00:33:38.250 --> 00:33:43.509 Go back to me, Samson. You keep up that fire. 00:34:05.599 --> 00:34:08.679 Do you know who I am? It was Brian O 'Brien. 00:34:09.059 --> 00:34:11.000 Brian O 'Brien. Brian O 'Brien. You know who 00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:14.880 Brian O 'Brien is, don't you? Did he have a voxel? 00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:17.699 I don't know what that is. It's like one of those 00:34:17.699 --> 00:34:19.659 them four wheelers, you know, you could take 00:34:19.659 --> 00:34:21.860 it anywhere so you could. Look, I met a man, 00:34:22.039 --> 00:34:24.159 Brian O 'Brien, who had a Vauxhall and he drove 00:34:24.159 --> 00:34:26.599 it straight into a tree. Still works to this 00:34:26.599 --> 00:34:30.579 day. Well, I feel this was in like the 1800s. 00:34:30.579 --> 00:34:32.599 So I think he would have had like a horse. Yeah, 00:34:32.760 --> 00:34:36.760 like a horse. Yeah. A horse? Do you ride a horse? 00:34:38.099 --> 00:34:41.179 I'd love to, but... Can't quite get the license 00:34:41.179 --> 00:34:43.699 these days. Oh, you can't afford the horse? Oh, 00:34:43.820 --> 00:34:45.800 no, no, they won't have me. You know, a horse 00:34:45.800 --> 00:34:49.480 is a fickle mistress. Can you get cars down your 00:34:49.480 --> 00:34:52.860 roads here, though? Aren't they narrow and muddy 00:34:52.860 --> 00:34:54.320 and farmy? Oh, we wouldn't have no problem putting 00:34:54.320 --> 00:34:55.940 two cars together. What did I tell you about 00:34:55.940 --> 00:34:57.639 Brian O 'Brien? Have you heard about Brian O 00:34:57.639 --> 00:34:59.619 'Brien and his Vauxhall? There's a tree in it 00:34:59.619 --> 00:35:02.300 to this day. Still has the tree, still works 00:35:02.300 --> 00:35:06.000 fine. I would love a selfie with that. Wouldn't 00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:09.179 you, girls? I would like a selfie with this little 00:35:09.179 --> 00:35:14.019 cutie. Oh my word, good idea. Now you're back 00:35:14.019 --> 00:35:16.019 off, ladies. I'm a happily married man of 42 00:35:16.019 --> 00:35:18.519 years, so I wouldn't, my mistress wouldn't be 00:35:18.519 --> 00:35:20.460 happy if I was getting pictures with four. Come 00:35:20.460 --> 00:35:22.579 on, we'll just get a quick selfie. Gotta keep 00:35:22.579 --> 00:35:26.460 her on her toes. That seems very illegitimate, 00:35:26.460 --> 00:35:28.480 and I don't appreciate the undertones that you're 00:35:28.480 --> 00:35:31.500 all perusing my way. So if you'd kindly step 00:35:31.500 --> 00:35:36.510 back. Okay, three, two, one. Why are there so 00:35:36.510 --> 00:35:40.050 many flashes? Oh, look at him. He is all bamboozled. 00:35:40.969 --> 00:35:43.449 Which side of the war are you on? Are you like 00:35:43.449 --> 00:35:46.030 always thinking about it? Are you thinking about 00:35:46.030 --> 00:35:48.489 it right now? It must be so hard. Well, I'm just 00:35:48.489 --> 00:35:50.250 up on patrol here and I'm supposed to take in 00:35:50.250 --> 00:35:53.710 any highly suspicious folk for questioning. But 00:35:53.710 --> 00:35:57.869 wait a minute. Hold on a minute. I know in war 00:35:57.869 --> 00:36:01.280 times, in the past, in the Francis. that they 00:36:01.280 --> 00:36:04.179 used to use women as spies. Now, would you four 00:36:04.179 --> 00:36:07.139 ladies happen to be spies or nothing? It was 00:36:07.139 --> 00:36:10.679 like an experience we bought. War -torn Ireland. 00:36:11.260 --> 00:36:15.690 Yeah, we're actually all influencers. Yeah, I'm 00:36:15.690 --> 00:36:18.489 like, we wouldn't be very good spies if we just 00:36:18.489 --> 00:36:20.750 told you we were spies, right? Yeah, I mean, 00:36:20.750 --> 00:36:22.570 we post everything we do on the internet, so 00:36:22.570 --> 00:36:26.849 I'm like, Charlie's Angels. I'm streaming this 00:36:26.849 --> 00:36:30.289 right now. Oh my god, is this Charlie? From everything 00:36:30.289 --> 00:36:32.309 you've corroborated, it sounds like you are in 00:36:32.309 --> 00:36:34.929 fact spies. Now, don't tell my wife, but I'm 00:36:34.929 --> 00:36:38.139 going to have to take you all in. But not in 00:36:38.139 --> 00:36:41.159 that way. This is for strictly professional wartime 00:36:41.159 --> 00:36:42.659 questions. This must be part of the experience. 00:36:43.639 --> 00:36:48.860 Let's go along with it. No, you just can't be 00:36:48.860 --> 00:36:52.320 enjoying it. No, I heard like performance art 00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:54.760 was really taking off in Ireland. Take your hands 00:36:54.760 --> 00:36:56.900 off me, officer. Are you going to have to cuff 00:36:56.900 --> 00:37:01.340 us? Well, actually, no, because it sounds like 00:37:01.340 --> 00:37:03.800 you're going to enjoy it. Everyone else will 00:37:03.800 --> 00:37:07.469 get cuffed, I think. Not you. Unless any of you 00:37:07.469 --> 00:37:09.630 seem like you're going to enjoy it. Then I won't 00:37:09.630 --> 00:37:12.670 do it. No, I'd hate it. Please. It would be awful. 00:37:13.389 --> 00:37:15.389 Now your words and your tone aren't matching 00:37:15.389 --> 00:37:17.090 here now, ladies. And I don't know if this is 00:37:17.090 --> 00:37:20.489 some sort of transatlantic differentiation. Where 00:37:20.489 --> 00:37:23.909 will you be taking us? To the jail. You'll have 00:37:23.909 --> 00:37:27.150 words. Because we can't trust no spies these 00:37:27.150 --> 00:37:30.260 days, you know. So immersive. To be fair, it 00:37:30.260 --> 00:37:32.460 is the pub. We're working with limited resources. 00:37:32.860 --> 00:37:35.880 Oh, lead the way. Don't get offended by all the 00:37:35.880 --> 00:37:41.320 old men. Can we get a Guinness? Oh, you can't. 00:37:46.179 --> 00:37:49.380 Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, it was your friend. Sharon, 00:37:49.440 --> 00:37:52.619 Jared, that, you know. Your sister. I'm so sorry. 00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:55.699 I see the entire world as friends. Except the 00:37:55.699 --> 00:37:58.059 enemy. Except the enemy. Everybody else's friend. 00:37:58.219 --> 00:38:00.199 Enemy is not the friend. Oh, of course. Of course. 00:38:00.460 --> 00:38:02.440 But I mean, I personally, I got involved. I've 00:38:02.440 --> 00:38:04.400 been serving since middle school. What? What? 00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:08.360 Back in California? Yeah. No, yeah. You know, 00:38:08.360 --> 00:38:09.820 I finished eighth grade and I was like, I'm done. 00:38:10.059 --> 00:38:12.659 And I just signed up. Like ROTC? No, no. Like 00:38:12.659 --> 00:38:15.179 I served. I joined the army. Is that allowed? 00:38:15.619 --> 00:38:19.349 I was 13. Whoa. I mean, I don't think it was 00:38:19.349 --> 00:38:21.550 like legal, you know, but like I was a pretty 00:38:21.550 --> 00:38:23.190 big 13 year old, like no one really questioned. 00:38:23.920 --> 00:38:26.480 So, okay, but just tell them the story. I'm sorry, 00:38:26.559 --> 00:38:29.059 that's before now? Yeah. No, but this is like 00:38:29.059 --> 00:38:30.920 the classic, like, you know, so I was, at this 00:38:30.920 --> 00:38:33.500 point, I was 17. I'd been serving in the military 00:38:33.500 --> 00:38:35.659 for four years. Being in the military is smooth, 00:38:35.780 --> 00:38:38.239 it's easy. It's just like high school, I assume. 00:38:38.460 --> 00:38:39.860 You know, it's filled with cliques. Because you 00:38:39.860 --> 00:38:41.059 never went to high school, so you don't know 00:38:41.059 --> 00:38:42.780 what high school is. Yeah, no, I was... Oh, it's 00:38:42.780 --> 00:38:45.519 brutal. It's brutal. You think war is hard? Think 00:38:45.519 --> 00:38:47.320 about high school. High school's worse? I'm glad 00:38:47.320 --> 00:38:50.719 I dodged it. So, we were here. We brought you 00:38:50.719 --> 00:38:53.260 over here. Mm -hmm. Fixing the house. I'm glad 00:38:53.260 --> 00:38:55.199 to be doing the work. And then the war breaks 00:38:55.199 --> 00:38:57.860 out and, you know, and then we just kind of, 00:38:57.920 --> 00:39:00.699 hey, we better pick a side. Yeah. That's what 00:39:00.699 --> 00:39:02.400 I thought. Well, Chris, you really picked it, 00:39:02.440 --> 00:39:04.539 you know. Immediately. Yeah, well, they were 00:39:04.539 --> 00:39:07.719 shooting at us, so I immediately became the enemy. 00:39:07.980 --> 00:39:09.559 People shooting was the other side. People shooting 00:39:09.559 --> 00:39:12.099 was the other. I mean, I didn't know them. Well, 00:39:12.179 --> 00:39:14.559 it might have been Greg, but I couldn't, it couldn't, 00:39:14.599 --> 00:39:17.679 it was dark. He's gone now, so it wouldn't. You 00:39:17.679 --> 00:39:20.199 killed him. Oh, yeah. Cold Stone's killer. Because 00:39:20.199 --> 00:39:22.000 that's the thing. I mean, like, when we came 00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:23.800 over here, you know, and you guys got me involved 00:39:23.800 --> 00:39:25.159 with Sharon's construction and the whole thing, 00:39:25.219 --> 00:39:27.880 I, like, I mean, it was fine, but I missed the 00:39:27.880 --> 00:39:30.539 military stuff. I missed the, like, violence 00:39:30.539 --> 00:39:34.340 and the, I mean. So you totally lucked out. Oh, 00:39:34.380 --> 00:39:36.480 yeah. Because the war broke out. Yeah, war broke 00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:38.679 out. Big time. You're lucky. You're a lucky guy. 00:39:38.739 --> 00:39:40.619 Thank you. The Irish are tough fighters. I'll 00:39:40.619 --> 00:39:42.719 give that to them. Our brothers and sisters, 00:39:42.820 --> 00:39:46.670 on both sides. They're tenacious. They're determined. 00:39:46.929 --> 00:39:49.610 But they're also, they're funny. Well. Funny. 00:39:49.610 --> 00:39:51.889 They're funny fighters. Funny fighters. I would 00:39:51.889 --> 00:39:53.210 definitely, I would agree with that. I gotta 00:39:53.210 --> 00:39:55.250 say that makes it easier to fire back because 00:39:55.250 --> 00:39:57.030 they keep making jokes during the whole thing. 00:39:57.070 --> 00:39:58.789 You can also, you know. Funny movement. They're 00:39:58.789 --> 00:40:00.570 hiding and instead of, and then they're telling 00:40:00.570 --> 00:40:02.289 jokes and then you can find them where they are. 00:40:02.409 --> 00:40:05.530 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Easy. That and also the infrared 00:40:05.530 --> 00:40:08.429 helps to see them, you know. And they don't have 00:40:08.429 --> 00:40:09.889 it here. They don't have, they don't have infrared 00:40:09.889 --> 00:40:12.349 over here. It just makes it way easier. Or ultraviolet. 00:40:12.369 --> 00:40:14.630 Yeah. It's a kind of light, I think. Or microwave. 00:40:15.179 --> 00:40:17.039 Microwave doesn't, they don't have, they have 00:40:17.039 --> 00:40:19.159 microwaves. They just don't know, they don't 00:40:19.159 --> 00:40:21.260 know that we can use it to see. That you can 00:40:21.260 --> 00:40:22.840 see microwaves coming from people. Yeah, no, 00:40:22.940 --> 00:40:24.980 it's that new technology that we brought over 00:40:24.980 --> 00:40:27.059 from America. Yeah. For the building construction. 00:40:27.960 --> 00:40:30.099 Microwaves vision. Exactly, microwave vision. 00:40:30.320 --> 00:40:32.800 Yeah. You can see little things. See, I see big 00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:34.820 things, like people. And little things. So you 00:40:34.820 --> 00:40:36.559 can see, you can see big things, and then you 00:40:36.559 --> 00:40:37.880 can see the little things that they're doing. 00:40:38.039 --> 00:40:39.360 So you can be like, oh, look. They're tying their 00:40:39.360 --> 00:40:42.539 shoes. Exactly, oh, look, they're twirling. Yo 00:40:42.539 --> 00:40:45.820 -yo. Oh, Cora. And Amy. yo -yo. Yeah. I've killed 00:40:45.820 --> 00:40:47.760 at least 13 people who are twirling yo -yos here. 00:40:47.840 --> 00:40:50.559 Exactly. They don't know. Don't tell them. Oh, 00:40:50.559 --> 00:40:53.699 I'm sorry. Please don't tell them because then 00:40:53.699 --> 00:40:55.820 they're going to stop you. Cat's out of the bag. 00:40:56.079 --> 00:41:02.840 Again. Jared, come on. Sorry. Oh, I love living 00:41:02.840 --> 00:41:08.019 next door. Sorry, if you just kind of bend down 00:41:08.019 --> 00:41:10.940 behind my kitchen bunker, it's easier to hear. 00:41:11.610 --> 00:41:13.789 Yeah, no, but I love living next door to the 00:41:13.789 --> 00:41:17.309 General. He's brought a lot of enthusiasm to 00:41:17.309 --> 00:41:21.730 the neighbourhood, you know. I felt like we were 00:41:21.730 --> 00:41:24.150 kind of just getting a bit stagnant there, sure. 00:41:25.309 --> 00:41:30.210 In the last village fight, like, this whole street 00:41:30.210 --> 00:41:33.110 didn't bother even taking part. But now I feel 00:41:33.110 --> 00:41:36.389 like, you know, we're really central to the whole 00:41:36.389 --> 00:41:41.349 conflict. And it's great, I mean, you know. There's 00:41:41.349 --> 00:41:44.989 never a quiet moment. We're always kind of, shall 00:41:44.989 --> 00:41:48.670 we say, shooting at the... Oh, hang on! There 00:41:48.670 --> 00:41:53.250 you go. We're always kind of shooting at the 00:41:53.250 --> 00:42:01.349 mayor's lads. It's getting quite lively now. 00:42:01.530 --> 00:42:14.460 It gets the blood pumping. I'm looking for a 00:42:14.460 --> 00:42:16.360 Roger. Is there a Roger here? Yeah, that's me. 00:42:16.559 --> 00:42:18.820 Hey, you. You idiot. Can you get off the airlines? 00:42:19.039 --> 00:42:21.780 This is kept for medical emergencies only. You're 00:42:21.780 --> 00:42:23.300 blocking the reception. What are you talking 00:42:23.300 --> 00:42:26.559 about? This is my radio show. You've been off 00:42:26.559 --> 00:42:27.880 the air. You're blocking the emergency line. 00:42:27.880 --> 00:42:30.139 I don't care that I'm off the air. I'm not here 00:42:30.139 --> 00:42:32.159 to... We have ambulances on standby. I don't 00:42:32.159 --> 00:42:34.420 care about the ambulances. I'm here to let the 00:42:34.420 --> 00:42:36.940 people of Dunbracken know that we're in danger. 00:42:37.380 --> 00:42:39.239 They need to hear the truth. They need to hear 00:42:39.239 --> 00:42:42.119 what's really happening. And if I'm... On the 00:42:42.119 --> 00:42:44.420 airwaves and good. They can hear it. Great. You've 00:42:44.420 --> 00:42:47.199 reported nothing of substance so far. Sir, are 00:42:47.199 --> 00:42:49.340 you telling me that this guy's stopping the airwaves 00:42:49.340 --> 00:42:51.659 of Dumbrak and Hebden? Does Middleston need to 00:42:51.659 --> 00:42:54.380 take care of this man? Uh, I just want him off 00:42:54.380 --> 00:42:56.300 the radio. Middleston will do it. I don't... 00:42:56.300 --> 00:42:58.519 I appreciate this because if we kill someone, 00:42:58.739 --> 00:43:01.119 the ambulance can't bring them back. So good 00:43:01.119 --> 00:43:04.380 work, Roger. Um... It's our ambulances. Guys, 00:43:04.440 --> 00:43:08.739 this is about the people. I'm here to... to make 00:43:08.739 --> 00:43:10.639 sure your stories are shared and you're not lost 00:43:10.639 --> 00:43:15.239 to time, to the depths of the war. We're recording 00:43:15.239 --> 00:43:17.679 such a historical moment of Dunbrack, and if 00:43:17.679 --> 00:43:20.940 I'm not here to record it, then who is? We all 00:43:20.940 --> 00:43:26.320 have body cams. Yeah, but no one has my voice 00:43:26.320 --> 00:43:29.659 and my truth, sir. It's time to make a choice. 00:43:29.699 --> 00:43:32.139 This is Biddleson here. If you want to continue 00:43:32.139 --> 00:43:34.659 this, you're going to be killed. Otherwise, you 00:43:34.659 --> 00:43:36.320 have to stop your radio recording. What are you 00:43:36.320 --> 00:43:40.900 going to do? I will never, ever stop recording 00:43:40.900 --> 00:43:43.920 for Dumb Bracken 105 .7. And if it's the last 00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:46.480 thing I do, then so be it. You heard him, boys. 00:43:47.019 --> 00:43:50.039 Lock and load. Light them up. And that's a Fiddleston 00:43:50.039 --> 00:43:52.019 guarantee. You're not going to do it. You're 00:43:52.019 --> 00:44:05.440 not going to. Sorry, just reloading. Listeners 00:44:05.440 --> 00:44:12.570 of Dumb Bracken. My final message! I'm sorry. 00:44:12.829 --> 00:44:16.610 I'm gonna call the ambulance! A witch! I'm sorry. 00:44:17.150 --> 00:44:21.110 I'm sorry for who I was. I'm sorry for everything 00:44:21.110 --> 00:44:26.050 I did. And I wish... I wish it could have been 00:44:26.050 --> 00:44:28.809 better for you. If you just get off the airlines, 00:44:28.909 --> 00:44:31.809 we can call you an ambulance. You can survive 00:44:31.809 --> 00:44:35.429 if you just stop talking for five minutes. This 00:44:35.429 --> 00:44:38.840 is what you're selling. I've done bracket 105 00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:45.820 .7, signing out for the last time. And that's 00:44:45.820 --> 00:44:47.780 a Biddleston guarantee. Biddleston, who are we 00:44:47.780 --> 00:44:51.800 sponsored by? We're sponsored by HelloFresh. 00:44:55.219 --> 00:44:58.119 Do you have problems planning your meals ahead 00:44:58.119 --> 00:45:01.260 of time? Is the war really getting down your 00:45:01.260 --> 00:45:06.199 mealtime routine? If so... An offer code is available 00:45:06.199 --> 00:45:11.380 now. Just enter WAR2024 for your box. 60 % off. 00:45:26.820 --> 00:45:29.699 Hi, this is Phil O 'Connell from the Spam Podcast. 00:45:30.250 --> 00:45:32.750 Do you need to shave a capybara? Come on down 00:45:32.750 --> 00:45:36.530 to Man's Capybara. You can shave all the capybaras 00:45:36.530 --> 00:45:39.829 you want. We have razors. We have shavers. We 00:45:39.829 --> 00:45:43.369 have triple -blind shears. Anything you want 00:45:43.369 --> 00:45:47.929 to shave, come down to Man's Capybara. But that's 00:45:47.929 --> 00:45:50.710 not all. For a limited time only, I, Phil O 'Connell, 00:45:50.789 --> 00:45:53.530 have the capybara in my possession. That's right, 00:45:53.610 --> 00:45:57.329 the town's mascot is mine to control. I'll throw 00:45:57.329 --> 00:46:00.289 him out. He still has rabies. His entire, the 00:46:00.289 --> 00:46:03.610 ball that he's in right now, it's full of rabies. 00:46:03.610 --> 00:46:06.170 It's just cloudy as shit. I don't even know if 00:46:06.170 --> 00:46:08.750 he's in there, but I can tell you what. I opened 00:46:08.750 --> 00:46:10.989 the ball up and I put a shaver in there and shaved 00:46:10.989 --> 00:46:14.579 some hair. And I have rabies -infested hair and 00:46:14.579 --> 00:46:17.019 a little Ziploc bag. So if you need an enemy 00:46:17.019 --> 00:46:20.840 killed or infested with rabies, come on down. 00:46:21.059 --> 00:46:24.719 I have a nuclear weapon in my possession. Scream 00:46:24.719 --> 00:46:28.420 holes! Scream holes! Jesus, Dan, what are you 00:46:28.420 --> 00:46:30.510 doing in here? Try to film an advert in here. 00:46:30.530 --> 00:46:33.329 I filmed an entire advert for Screamhalls. Leave 00:46:33.329 --> 00:46:35.849 me alone. You couldn't even hear it because I 00:46:35.849 --> 00:46:40.730 recorded it in my Screamhalls. Get the fuck out 00:46:40.730 --> 00:46:43.750 of here. This is my backyard. My backyard filled 00:46:43.750 --> 00:46:48.869 with my Screamhalls. Screamhalls. Screamhalls. 00:46:54.190 --> 00:46:56.909 Tune in next time for the finale of the four 00:46:56.909 --> 00:47:00.130 -part miniseries, The War for Dunbraken, Part 00:47:00.130 --> 00:47:18.590 5. War? Huh? Good God. What's that good for?