For some, this war has presented opportunities
they might never get again. For two best friends
named Marshall, a law in their honour was everything
they could have ever dreamed. Did you hear? What?
They've declared martial law. We can do whatever
we want. Really? Yeah. Finally. The two marshals
are going to get their way. I'm going to open
the zoo. Let the animals out. Hey. Leave guns
for them. Yeah. I was thinking the exact same
thing. No. Yeah. Which animal would you want
to give a gun to? Giraffe. Oh, okay. Sorry. Count
of three? One, two, three. Penguin. Okay. Explain
your reasoning. Well, I was thinking, like, maybe
not a gun, but, you know, grenades. Kamikaze
penguins. Yes, just slip on through. Yeah. Like
underneath a car. You know what we could do?
We could, because martial law, we could requisition
equipment from the skateboarding park, get some
ramps in, slide those penguins down, fire them
into the town square. Oh, I was thinking the
local school. Like get rid of the education system.
I was going to say local school, but I was afraid.
If we had done the count of three. Do you think
you would have gone with your gut? Yeah. Okay.
You make me more confident. That's why... No.
Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. You make me want to cook better.
Oh. Because I'm like, whenever I take in the
lunches, I'm like, okay, well, let's impress.
I think that's why we're so good together is
because we're always pushing each other to be
greater. But it's also like looking in a mirror
because not only are we both called Marshall,
we also... Look conspicuously alike. Yeah. Yeah.
We have to dress in different colours all the
time so people can just tell us apart. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know why I'm
telling you that, but it's just a thing. But
for one day only, or however long this martial
law goes on for, we could dress the same and
then people would be like, I don't know how he's
doing it. Do you know what we could do? What?
Marshall Mathers, Eminem, we look like him, we
both dye our hair blonde. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just like the music video. Yeah, absolutely.
Marshall Mathers, Eminem. What's that? You've
never seen a lab person before? I don't know
him that well. That's like one of the lyrics
from the song. Oh. But you knew I was going for
Eminem. Yeah. But who also wants to be like Eminem?
Stan. So we're both Eminem, but we both have
our Stans. So you do know him well enough. I
know him well enough. Or have you heard this
from Stan, that he's like a big fan? No. Yeah.
What? I heard from Stan. Okay. Yeah. So, hold
on. There's you and me. Mm -hmm. Em and Em. Eminem.
Like Marshall and Marshall. There is the Stan,
who in the song, huge fan of Eminem. And I guess
he's like Eminem if he didn't get famous, you
know? So you're not talking about Stan? Well,
I was about to say, like, in another layer, we
can definitely get Stan in on this. Sweet. Sweet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then if we just, you know,
Stan, he's kind of like your default guy. So
I'm sure we could dress him up to look like the
mayor. We'll dress him up to look like the mayor.
And we can get everyone else to be like Kim.
Yeah. Because Eminem hates Kim. So obviously,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mockingbird from the
zoo. It's perfect. Yeah. Get the mockingbird
to do the voices. Is that what you meant? I just
meant, like, you know, from the song, because
there's a mockingbird. I obviously know a lot
more about Eminem than you do. And I know a lot
more about animals. No. No. Like, I know a good
bit about animals. I'm not saying that you don't
know nothing about animals. No, but you think
you know more? Well, I mean... On the count of
three, name an animal. One, two, three. Crocodile.
Yeah, a crocodile's more... No, what? A hardvark's
going to win. Not unless the crocodile's a giant
ant. And actually, if it was a giant ant, I think
the giant ant would beat an hardvark. Throw it
over its head. That's not... You're thinking
of the wrong animal because you're thinking of
an anteater. An hardvark would roll into a ball,
go down the crocodile's throat. That's an armadillo.
Well... So I do know more about animals. Well,
you know about the sea of wishes. Nothing. Now
listen, we both... Or wasting time because martial
law is ineffective. We don't know how long we're
going to have this opportunity. We shouldn't
squabble. We always go back to this argument,
who knows the most about animals. You didn't
even ask me where I put a gun in the mouth of
the giraffe. Yeah, I should have done that. Yeah.
I'm sorry. If we lose interest in each other,
we lose interest in ourselves. Because who are
we? Martial Mothers. Why didn't you eat my lunch?
The one that I brought in for you today. Why
didn't I eat your lunch? Yeah, the portion I
brought in for you. Because I was so excited
about martial law, I got giddy. Butterflies in
my stomach. Just one of the animals that might
be in my body at any time. One of the animals
that might be in your body? Yeah. Like, normal
people, they only know one kind of animal, but
I know so many that I, you know, I've got, like,
termites in my toes. I've got... skinks on my
shoulders. I know a lot of expressions. That
can't be an animal. I know animals. A skink?
What the hell is a skink? A skink is, it's like
a lizard, but not a lizard. You ever heard of
that tale of skink? Maybe you do know more about
animals than I do. I know a thing or two. But
listen, this knowledge that we both have, we
can both agree we know things about animals and
we don't know things about animals, but we put
that together with legal impunity and we could
assault the town square and three, two, one,
Local schools. Yeah, sweet. You say I look like
the mayor? Is this what he looks like? Yes, Dan,
you look very mayoral. Come on, speak with authority.
You there, stop jaywalking. Don't shoplift. What
do you think a mayor does? He's like the head
policeman. No. Like a police commissioner. Oh,
that's a police commissioner. That's a police
commissioner. Yeah. And the first thing was just
a beat cop. Well, I think as soon as you become
a police officer, no matter how high you promote,
you should still do the small things. You know,
like me working at this zoo. I might be the manager
now, but I still pick up litter when it's there.
You have bigger responsibilities than litter.
Is that why all these animals look so tired and
haggard? Everyone has... No, that's... Well,
maybe. Have you been using picking up litter
to shirk your responsibility? Because I'm pretty
sure... It says crocodile here, but this thing
is clearly... I don't know this one. Do you know
this one? It kind of looks like a giant ant.
It is a giant ant. That's not a crocodile. It's
a giant red ant. We got them from Mozambique.
Okay. Why is that distinction important? It's
not just a giant ant. It's a giant red ant. Yeah,
but it says crocodile here. I know it says crocodile.
It was put into the wrong thing and it ate the
crocodile. Oh, my God. It's a giant red ant.
Of course it was going to... A giant ant would
definitely be an aardvark. Yeah, I think we could
agree on that. But this fence is quite... Like,
I wouldn't feel worried about it if there's crocodile
in here because they're not typically vertical
jumpers. For sure. Once it works out that it
could just get out of this, we're in trouble.
But not yet. There's a chance the giant red ant
could work out. Only if it works it out, yeah.
Well, is that likely? I mean... I mean, it's
kind of eating away at the fence over there anyway.
Yeah, so that's fine, but if it realises it could
just jump, as long as it doesn't see anyone else
climb over it or jump over it and put that together.
They have small brains, they're giant, but their
brains are still the size of an ant. Thank God
there aren't a hundred of them, that's all I'm
saying. I kind of feel bad for it, in a way.
Sorry, why are you here and why have you asked
me to dress like the mayor? We're scheming. Scheming
again? Oh, good for you too. Yeah, yeah. Well,
I don't know if you heard. Did you hear the news?
No way. Marshall Law. Is that why people keep
coming in here just not paying their tickets?
Yeah. Wait. Well, as long as the name is Marshall.
That's what I was wondering. Marshall's Law?
Like you guys' law? Yeah. Okay, cool. Congrats.
You just got a law. Is that not obvious to everyone
else? Well, not obvious to me. Why? This is the
first time I'm hearing of it. And were the people
who came in today, they're all called Marshall?
No, they just said Marshall Law and kicked me
in the nuts. Okay, that's... Not all of them.
We could do that, but we won't, because we are
your friends. Yeah, you should get that checked
out. They look pretty swollen. Really? Well,
like, yeah. I mean, it's my groundskeeper shorts.
You can... They're not usually flattering, but
when you have a lot of kicks to the balls and
swelling... I thought you were, like, strapped
up and, you know, you just had a gun maybe in
around there. No, should I get a gun? No, it's
okay. I just fought. Does the mayor carry a gun?
Yeah. Oh, does he? Yeah. Oh, okay. We didn't
know that's a police commissioner. Let's be safe.
Let's get a gun. Just in case. Why not? Don't
you have access to guns in the zoo? I have so
many, but most of them are for tranks, but you
can put, like, bullets into them. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. They have enough torque in them to shoot
out most things. Torque? I'm not a gunsmith.
I'm an animalsmith. I don't know what the words
are for guns. I just know this one shoots the
giant... Caliber? Firepower? Firepower, yeah.
Although that's maybe too general. But I have
a lot of guns. Do you just want guns? I feel
like I want to arm myself now. People are going
to keep kicking me in the nads. Was this your
full plan? You were just going to tell me to
watch my back? I appreciate it, guys. So, we're
here to just have a bit of fun. I love when you
two have fun. When you two have fun, who knows
what's going to happen, you know? I love watching
it. I love seeing it. I love sometimes getting
to be a part of it, but I don't need to be. Well,
I think, you know, we've been running like Ludo
nights at the community center for weeks and
no one shows up. We would love to cut loose,
but for so long we've had to show a bit of restraint
and now it's like, mashallah, what are we going
to do? Release the animals from the zoo. Oh,
hey. Why not? I can't get in trouble. Maybe keep
the giant ant in. Oh, it won't last. Yeah. It'll
probably work it out itself, but the longer we
have to get away from it, the better. Yeah. It
ate a crocodile. Yeah. And it didn't just eat
it. Like, it was doing, like, full W. It was
wrestling that thing for three hours. Three hours?
It was playing. Like, it kept making the crocodile
get up and thinking it had a chance, and it kept
just destroying it. It was drowning it for a
while, and I didn't know that was possible. This
is why I give the gun to the giraffe, by the
way. Oh, so it couldn't be drawn? No, it's in
case there's ever an apex predator that is so
apex. We need a sniper. I'm just going to say
we give a sniper reference. You get the higher
ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The draft voice is
higher ground. Okay, I can give a draft. Would
you like to do the honors? Come with me. We'll
get a few guns. Up this ladder? Yeah, yeah. Just
come up the treehouse. You know, there is an
alternative as well. It's a bit dark. But you
can strap a C4 satchel to the side of the giraffe's
head. It'll just swing around, boom, pop us off.
Wow. Like an explosive wrecking ball. Yeah, yeah.
And the giraffe will keep going once its head
has grown up. Yeah, they're like a chicken like
that. They'll keep going for another three or
four minutes. Oh, Justin, we know a lot about
animals. We know some things about animals. Yeah,
you do. That's one of the things we do. A lot
of the time I'm thinking whenever you say the
things, I think it's wrong, but then I don't
say anything. I'm like, no, they know what they're
talking about. They're the marshals. So, you
know, martial law means that what we say today
and, you know, forever long martial law continues.
I'm hoping 10 years. Hopefully. Yeah, yeah. When
has martial law ever been bad? Hey, I'm just
having a great time with you guys. So if this
is what martial law is, count me in for the long
haul. Can I just check? It's obvious, like, who
we are, like, dressed as, right? Like, it wasn't
acknowledged, but I kind of assumed that was
just like... I didn't want to say, but the blonde
hair and stuff, I was like, yeah, M &M, that's
like... Great. That is bang on. That is good.
You act like you've never seen a white person
before. Yeah, because you two started circling
me a little bit during that conversation and
I was getting dizzy and lost. I felt like a crocodile
being pounded on by a giant red ant. Felt like
you had peacocks in your pecs. That is a great
saying. Thank you. That is so good, Marshall.
You gophers in your... Ah, shit, no, I don't
have it. Gonads. Gonads. That's pretty good too,
Marshall. And also my gonads. Pretty huge right
now because of the swelling. You could assume
that it's a big gopher down there. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Not in a good way. In a bad, bad way. Got
a big gopher down there. Or are you just grievously
injured? Yeah, I'm grievously injured. Want to
get those C4s and the rifles and stuff? We do
have C4 here too. You have C4 here? It's in case
things get really, really bad. Ah, silverbacks.
Yeah. But honestly, now I'm thinking that giant
red ant could save me from a silverback. I'd
love to see that fight, though. Have you tried
bonding with it? No. I've tried beta -ing it.
You've tried beta -ing it? No, beta -ing it.
I ain't trying to show I'm the alpha, because
I figured if it thinks I'm one of it, it might
start hive -minding, you know? Like ants do.
Is it hive -minding currently? No, it's on its
own. That's why I'm glad it's on its own. How
do hive -mines work? I guess you need a group
to begin with, right? Yeah, we need to work out...
If we had a scientist here, they could probably
start shooting the correct electrical signals
that a giant red ant sends out to its brethren.
And if we get the right neurons and things firing,
we could actually control this giant red ant.
Electrical signals? Yeah, that's how they...
Surely it's like pheromones or something. That's
what I would have said. Yeah. And we know a thing
or two about animals. Okay, fine. We met on a
zoology course. I haven't had a chance to research
the giant red ant yet. It still says crocodile.
I haven't printed out its fact page. Okay, fine.
You need a bit of time. That's okay. So we're
saying, should we get another person in on this
and we'll try and control the massive ant? Well,
you know, sometimes we feel like we have a hive
mind. Ever since we died of hair blonde, I don't
know about you, but I keep thinking about all
the delicious meals you've been cooking. Oh.
And also the shame that you hold. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. You all right? Yeah. Now, of course, with
all these police and trained soldiers and untrained
civilians out on the front lines, you might be
asking, who is in charge of looking after the
criminals that are stopped? And the answer are
some overworked prison guards. Hey, do you mind
if I borrow one of your weapons today? I forgot.
I thought there was a gun in my locker. I've
got here for my shift. You keep your gun in your
locker? Yeah. Yeah, oh God. No, I don't bring
my weapon outside of the prison. You leave it
overnight in the prison? Or anyone could just
get it? Yeah, because I don't feel comfortable
having that in my house. And now you're saying
it's not there? Look, maybe I just absentmindedly
walked out with it still on my belt. Okay, so
it might not be... It might be in my wash machine.
Okay, good. Hey, I'm sorry. I'm going to need
to borrow a spare uniform and key today. Oh,
I can loan you one. I'm really great. I have
spares, yeah. Can I trade you for a gun? Wait,
sorry. Or a baton. It's not an issued gun, but
I've got guns. Okay, there's a few points here.
You have spare uniforms and keys? Why do you
have spare keys? I'll get to you in a minute,
Jimmy. Oh, I made a copy because I, you know,
sometimes I misplace my keys. Where? No, the
uniform isn't regulation. I just... So the right
patches onto some PJs for the days when I want
to come in and feel cozy. Could you describe
the PJs? I mean, I could just wear them and you
could see. They're a dark green. Oh, okay. That's
good. I was worried they were going to be black
and white striped. No, I mean, they do have power
rangers on them. Okay, Jimmy. Yeah. You've lost
your keys. I've got spares, but they're at home.
It's not the first time that he's borrowed my
spare uniform. Sometimes he wants to be cozy.
Sometimes I want to be cozy. But we can't both
be cozy at once. Yes, you can. We can't both
be cozy at once. One of us will nap if we're
too cozy. And if we're both too cozy, we'll both
nap. And that's a security risk. So both of you
know that you have misplaced or lost keys. Some
of you have misplaced guns. I haven't lost my
keys. I've just had a coffee. Usually I've spared,
but I've lost them too. And you say, Clarence,
that you have spare keys because you constantly
misplace them. No, I haven't misplaced them yet.
So I have two sets. But between us, we should
both have a set issued. So at the moment, we
both have made duplicates. Jimmy's lost both
of his. I have a spare for exactly this occasion.
So then between us, we have a set of keys each.
It's a perfect system. Checkmate. No, it's not.
How has it failed? Frederick gets shot. I thought
someone just made a mistake, and I said, hey,
why did you shoot Frederick? He was like, oh,
didn't mean to, but I gotta go to the shop now
anyway, so do you want anything? And I was like,
no, I don't need anything. And he left and never
came back. Yeah, that's Dan. Yeah, that sounds
like Dan. Dan asked to borrow the uniform. Dan's
a prisoner! He's my size. Look, Dan didn't have
my gun, so my hands are clean. I'll be honest,
all I went up to, I asked him to go to the shops
for me. I was on duty. I couldn't leave. And
you know what? I was out of hot chocolate powder,
and it was my day in the PJs. He did ask to borrow
my keys. He shouldn't have. I don't know. He
had my keys. That's good, because I didn't give
them to him, and he was like, okay, I don't need
them. You don't give your keys to anyone who
asks. No, I don't. I'm responsible. What? I need
a spare key today. I'm not giving you my keys.
Clarence? Yeah, no, that's fine. This is teamwork.
Yeah. This is why we run such a good prison.
But you better not lose these as well. I might
lose them. No, you can't. I'll try my best. Listen,
if you lose them, I can't keep forking out money
and making spares, so you're going to have to
pay for the next copy. That's more than fair.
How much do I owe you for the patches? I know
I'll get those back. Okay. Because I know you
won't dry clean them. You have to dry clean them.
They need to be dry cleaned. That's a... I have
to be dry clean. Didn't know that. Sorry. Have
you already machine washed? I haven't washed
them yet. The pajamas. My PJs. The patches. Okay.
Yeah. My PJs with the patches on. Why do either
of you ever wear PJs at work? Cozy. You're supposed
to be alert and vigilant at all times. That's
why both of us don't wear them at the same time.
They're mostly not doing anything. You're both
supposed to be alert and vigilant. Neither of
you are supposed to sleep or lose things. Or
ask prisoners to go to the shop for you. So we're
just meant to go ourselves? Yeah, we only get
a 30 minute break. How are we expected to go
to the shop and get back in 30 minutes? You're
not supposed to go to the shop. You're supposed
to bring things with you. There's a canteen.
We have lives outside of this. We all have lives
outside of this. I don't have time to make food.
You don't have to make food. There's a canteen.
You can go down and get food from the canteen.
They gave me something. I said, is there egg
in this? And they said, no, there's no egg in
this. And then it turned out it was a quiche.
So I can't trust them anymore. Trust has been
broken. You know who I do trust? The prisoners.
Yo, I'm right here. No, no, I trust you. Are
you a prisoner? Sorry. No. I just wanted to be
first on that list. I'm confused now because
Dan shot someone. Frederick's in a coma. Well,
he's alive. That's up for debate with the Christians,
to be honest. Really? Yes. Is that a point of
debate? Some of the born -again Christians, well,
they pick and choose what they want to born again,
their philosophies, and some of them are like,
ah, he's not. Well, if they consider him dead,
he comes out of the coma. Is that a Jesus situation?
Yeah, there's been rumblings of a Jesus situation.
Frederick's not up to be Jesus. If I had a spare
Frederick's brain, I'd give it to him in a heartbeat.
But I didn't make a copy, so. I wish him the
best. But in the future, we'll have spare brains.
Don't 3D print Frederick's brain. No. Don't have
a 3D printer. Don't have a scan of his brain.
I'd genetically clone it. Yeah, unlike one of
these mice on the back, right? Yeah. Yeah. If
Frederick wakes up, we're going to have a riot
on our hands. From Frederick? Yeah. No, from
the prisoners who think he's a Jesus. The prisoners
might think he's a Jesus again. Again. We can't
have another born -again riot. It's very peaceful,
but it's very annoying. Here's the problem. You
don't trust the prisoners. No. They're in prison
for crimes against the state. It's a two -way
relationship. It's just a location. Has Dan returned?
Not yet. Stipulation on yet. I mean, he's probably
trying to phone me, but he has my phone. So,
you know, does he have your number? Do you have
my number? Hmm. I don't know. Should I have saved
it last time? Yes, you should have. Remember
the riot that we couldn't stop because you didn't
know who to call? It was an unknown number. I
just blocked it. I get so many spam calls. Those
aren't spam calls. That's us asking you to come
to work. Is it you asking if I need double glazing?
Okay, no, that's not me. Well, then I get a lot
of spam. You don't know all the calls I get.
Is there a spare gun I can borrow for a 6R shift?
Sorry, I've got a number of spare guns. They're
not work guns, but you can borrow them. No. Perfect.
Not perfect. What's the problem here? I don't
have a problem. Yeah. I would rather you not.
Yeah. Do you want to borrow my shotgun? Is that
the one I had last time? Yeah. Yeah, that's the
one. The sawed -off one. Yeah. It wasn't the
most comfortable whenever I had to prop it, but
you know what it'll do. I mean, yeah. You're
taking the PJs? I would rather you didn't have
the shirt on. I've also got a sniper rifle. Do
you have a silencer? Yeah, of course I've got
a silencer. Oh, yeah. That's fine. Are you taking
the PJs? Yeah, that'd be great. You're not taking
the PJs today, right? No, unless you want the
PJs. No, I do not want the PJs. Somebody has
to stay alert. Yes, that's why we take turns.
Do you think Frederick would appreciate the PJs?
I think he would love the PJs. We should visit
him. What are you doing on lunchtime? No. Yeah,
we can go. No, you can't. Why not? Because we're
one guard down and one prisoner short. It evens
out. Hey. This is a beautiful giraffe. Ah, it
was nice. Can you pass me the duct tape, Marshall?
Can we just wrap that around there? Very easy,
easy. And do you want the... I don't know what
you call these things. The thing that explodes
it. Like a detonator? The detonator. Do you want
one of them? Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're telling
me this sniper rifle will explode? All the guns,
in case the animals work, I already use them,
can also explode. You spend a lot of money on
military equipment. It's protection. You know,
we have to be ready. It's a deterrent. If the
animals know we have exploding guns... they probably
won't try and use them. Can animals know that,
except for the intelligent giant red ant? It's
something I don't want to test out, you know?
I think you've got an Oppenheimer situation here.
I don't think the giant red ant should be here.
I think it's too dangerous to be in a zoo. I
think it's too dangerous to be in a secure underground
facility, to be honest. I didn't know. I didn't
research it, okay? Who ordered this animal? Someone
was like, my friend has a delivery coming in
from Mozambique. And he doesn't know what to
do with it. And he was like, it's a giant red
ant. And I was like, well, how giant can it be?
Oh, it was giant enough to eat as crocodile.
I don't think you guys know. You are well aware.
We know how big a crocodile is. Like, yeah. Yeah.
Admittedly, it was smaller than that. But it
could carry it. Yeah. Carried it around like
a little girl with a backpack going to school.
Okay. It was traumatizing. Yeah. There's a crocodile
still in there that's just hiding for its life.
Oh, there's another one in there? There's another
crocodile. Yeah, it's me. It's still in there,
hiding for its life. It only pops up to breathe
every, like, three hours. Oh, my God. Anyway,
here's the detonator for the sniper rifle. All
right, thanks. Yeah. I mean, the giraffe looks
cool. The giraffe looks cool as hell. Yeah, I
like that you chose the one with a bayonet on
it so I can... Knife people, too, if it gets
low enough. Yeah. And what was it you were wanting
to do with the penguins, you said? Oh, just drop
a couple grenades to them. Perfect. We have some...
You know what? We have plenty of grenades. You
got any penguins? It's a... No. Come on. What
have you got that's like a penguin? He's crestfallen.
Okay, there are penguins, but they're not in
the zoo. They're not in the zoo. They're not
in the zoo. Someone released them earlier. They
kicked me in the nads and they released all the
penguins. I didn't know why. I said, that's a
crime. They said, no, it wasn't. I can do whatever
I want. Martial law. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Under
martial law, I want you to get them back. Requisition
all the penguins. They couldn't have got far.
They're not fast. Well, this zoo is on top of
a hill, so. Yeah, they could have just slid right
down and flew off. Yeah, they could be down by
the pier by now. Let's hopefully slid, because
if one of them started rolling, that is a long,
long way down to roll. That would be brutal.
Yeah. I'm not really excited about the skulls
thing anymore. I know. It feels like there was
a level of whimsy whenever we were talking about
propelling penguins. But this giraffe is so bony
and sickly, and I just... This suit is giving
me a really bad vibe. And if with the rifle,
it would just be like one at a time, whereas
mass destruction... I do have an idea. It's not
a penguin, but there are four armadillos here
that we could strap some bombs to, and they could
roll in like little Star Wars droids. Oh, like
a droideka. Yeah, like a droideka, which is,
I don't know, that might be pretty cool. Yeah.
Or you could strap guns to them. They don't have
to blow up. No, I like the... What do you want
to do? It's your birthday. Yeah, I'll go with
the armadillo. Armadillo, yeah. This day might
be okay. Yeah. This day might be alright. I think
they might have saved it. I'm not even going
to say that yous are checking them out for the
day on the book. Yous can just do what you want.
Checking them out like a library. Yeah, people
can check out the animals. Did you not know that?
It's the biggest feature of this zoo, check out
an animal. So, do you get a lot of late returns?
No, everyone's very punctual about it. Most of
the time they're like... This was so much more
work than I ever expected. This cheetah killed
my father. You know, things like that. Just classy.
We're not liable. You're not liable? We're not
liable. We say, if you're taking a cheetah, you
have to know the responsibilities. Sign a waiver.
Sign a waiver. But again, a lot of the time,
they're at the cheetah stands and things like
that. The cheetah stand. Like you could... Like
a barn stand. There's a nice... You can have
a nice little look at a cheetah you want. But
the page is wrong because... I'm not doing great,
so it shows maybe a silverback gorilla, so they
learn the wrong facts. They get the wrong foods,
and then it eats their father. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're like, oh, I want to take out this meerkat
for my six -year -old's birthday party. Bad news,
it's a lion, and it tears through the place.
Not all the time. Actually, some of the lions
are very, very tame, and they really like children.
There was one birthday party I was terrified
for, but it was apparently one of the best the
town's ever seen. Oh, that's great. Yeah. You
know, I thought we could only do this because
it was martial law, but it turns out you could
just... You can take as many as you want now
because of martial law. It's a strict two animal
limit per person. What was that, Marshall? We
don't have to return them. And we can give them
weapons. Yes. There's a lot more amenities, I
suppose. What's the normal limit on withdrawing
animals? Two per person. Two per person? It doesn't
matter size or stature. You're one person. You
could have two animals. You're allowed a full
family. If you're taking six meerkats, you're
allowed that because they were all mother, father,
son, daughter. Can I take a troop of baboons?
You couldn't normally, but now you can. Oh my
god. I don't want to trip at baboons. Yeah. Well,
I mean, baboons are weird because if they have
just one alpha, then that's kind of like one
family. So, you know, the lexicon gets confusing,
but we try and treat it like... It kind of makes
you wonder, where does, you know, one organism
begin and one organism end? Like, if we look
at this giraffe... I look at it and I think maybe
this is actually its natural form. Yeah. Giraffe
and sniper together at last. If someone tried
to take us out would it be like a marshal of
Mathers or? I like that. Yeah. Would we come
as a set? Yeah. But if you strike down one marshal
two more appear in its place that's because we
even well we we'll let you in on the whole thing.
We're basically doing like a flash mob of Marshall
Mathers. Oh, fun. That's nice. We're going to
sing Lose Yourself at Midnight. Yeah, with flashbangs.
That's cool. Yeah. Wielded by three, two, one.
Dingos. We haven't decided yet. But, I mean,
that would land and air. Oh, you could do both.
That would be fun. And in the water. Three, two,
one. Sea lions. But what are the sea lions going
to eat? The fish. And what do the fish have eaten?
Dynamite. Well, we have all of this in stock
in the storerooms. This is perfect. Are you going
to climb up the giraffe to shoot the sniper?
Or are you just going to hope its tongue hits
the trigger? She knows what she's doing. Oh,
okay, great. I was just wondering. And if she
doesn't, you can always blow it up. That's true.
But I feel like we've made a friend in this giraffe.
Do you mind if I use some hydrogen peroxide on
the crown of its head? Hey, we never get to use
it. You go for it. Yeah. Giraffe M &M. Oh, nice.
Do not lose your chance to blow. I don't know
this song. That would be good to be going through
its head when it's taking a shot. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Well, it's going to be very stressed. Well,
enjoy your day. I'll be here if you need me.
Oh, wait, I don't have to stay here. Martial
law. You're the mayor. Stop jaywalking. No! No,
we've been over this. You're not a beat cop.
You're not a police officer. You're the mayor.
I want to enact martial law. Does that sound
like the mayor? That does actually sound like
the mayor. Martial law continues until I say
no. Okay. Great. You, stop what you're doing
and listen to the marshals. There's a flash mob
here. Dye your hair. Yeah, I mean, I don't think
we need any more. I think the giraffe is... Okay,
yeah, I won't. Yeah, the power went to my head.
I was just imagining what I'm going to do. No,
no, no, the power should go to your head. Well,
don't get too ahead of yourself. Yeah, that too.
No, no, I know that you're the real ones in charge
here. I might be the bear, but you're the puppet
masters. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, it's gone. The
giant red ant is gone. Okay, I have to make a
few calls. The crocodile looks happy, though.
Oh, yeah, it's fine. Oh, it's got it. Oh. And
what's it got in its mouth? What does it have
in its mouth? I didn't see, that's why I asked.
Oh. Well, as long as it's not any detonator.
It doesn't need detonators. I see a cloud of
smoke. Yeah, it was a landmine, probably. Ah.
More than one reason it was staying still. Oh,
no. Well, that's going to be a problem for the
rest of the town. Yeah, it's not your issue now.
Yeah. I'll try and see if I can find a scientist
to work out how I can control that ant. Before
it's too late. It's not my responsibility. An
entomologist. That's a good idea. Save some time.
Okay, great. I'm going to make a few calls. Happy
30th. Thanks, Marshall.