1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,000 North Pole customer service? How can I help? 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:11,000 You picked up? 3 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:16,000 Yeah, we're open 24 7 3 6 5 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:21,000 I didn't know that. So I could have been just ringing you whenever I wanted? 5 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:27,000 Yeah, you can follow up anytime. Anytime you're having struggles with anything Christmas related. 6 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:32,000 That's really good. It has to be Christmas related. 7 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:38,000 That's really nice to know. Could I just say it's Christmas related to get in the door? 8 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,000 We'd know. You know, pretty quickly whenever it's just someone... 9 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,000 It's starting to feel like this is maybe one of those calls. 10 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,440 Christmas for later, I swear. 11 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,280 Okay. 12 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,440 I rang up, I just didn't know that there were holidays. 13 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,280 Boo. 14 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,280 ["The Christmas Tree"] 15 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,280 ["The Christmas Tree"] 16 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,260 Welcome back to Dunbracken. 17 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:24,320 Oh, you really, you really shouldn't have. 18 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:25,600 You really shouldn't have. 19 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:26,440 But I did. 20 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,280 You really shouldn't have, but you did. 21 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:30,120 You don't- 22 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,640 And you shouldn't have. 23 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,040 You don't like it? 24 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:33,880 Ah. 25 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:39,840 Why did you, what made you, what person, what, why? 26 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,440 Well, you said you like the color white. 27 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,280 Yes. 28 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:44,320 So it's been your favorite color. 29 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:45,160 Okay. 30 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,880 And you said the clock in the kitchen was broken 31 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,200 and you told me how much you like polar bears. 32 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,040 Yeah. 33 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,480 So it's just taxidermy. 34 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,760 I don't understand. 35 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:55,600 Yeah. 36 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:56,440 Yeah. 37 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:57,400 The clock's in its chest, it's fine. 38 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,320 Why are you, you don't like it? 39 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,080 Well, we live in a studio flat, don't we? 40 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:02,920 And- 41 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,280 Yeah, it was hard getting it up the stairs. 42 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:05,560 I put a lot of work into this. 43 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,400 Yeah, that's great. 44 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,360 Why is it over our bed? 45 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,720 It keeps the heat in, like it's very warm. 46 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:12,840 Polar bears, they have to be warm. 47 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,360 They live in the Arctic. 48 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,040 So it keeps in the heat around us. 49 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:20,160 It keeps, and why is it wearing a little hat 50 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,400 and has a cane? 51 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,120 I think that ruins the sort of, 52 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,240 the fear of this terrifying beast that it has a cane 53 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,360 and a little hat on it. 54 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,840 And a t-shirt that says, I love milfs. 55 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,520 You're completely misreading this. 56 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,440 Those are from my late father's belongings. 57 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:38,280 This- 58 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,600 Your father did love milfs, but like, honestly, like- 59 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:44,880 This bear was meant to mean more than just a bear 60 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,880 with a clock in it or a little thing 61 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,040 to help us save on heating. 62 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:48,880 This bear is- 63 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:49,720 Where did you find this? 64 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,360 Meaningfully, find it? 65 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:52,920 Where did you find it? 66 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:54,040 Where did I find it? 67 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,640 Yeah, where did you, how, why is this now? 68 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:57,720 What was the process? 69 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:01,240 I had to message 12 different online sellers 70 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:05,480 where I was able to procure even one paw of this polar bear. 71 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:09,480 So it's like a Frankenstein monster of a polar bear. 72 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,560 That's why it's like a slightly different shade of white 73 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,000 in all the places, but don't look that odd. 74 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,280 I love my father, okay? 75 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,520 You love your father, 76 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,960 so you Frankensteined a polar bear together 77 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,160 and put it over our bed from my Christmas present. 78 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,560 Happy Christmas. 79 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,240 All you had to say was thank you. 80 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,360 What are you? 81 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,840 I'm, firstly, I'm allergic to fur. 82 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,320 Secondly, it's over our bed. 83 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,880 And thirdly, I don't love milfs. 84 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,120 I'm sorry. 85 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,200 I'm sorry. 86 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,240 Well, what did you get me? 87 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:43,160 What, what did I get you? 88 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,880 I got, I got you this bracelet 89 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,040 and it has our initials on it. 90 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:47,920 It's lovely. 91 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,960 It's, it's, I got it off Etsy. 92 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,000 Hello. 93 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,600 You realize what our initials are? 94 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,520 What our initials are? 95 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,080 Yeah. 96 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:56,160 Remind me. 97 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:58,840 Martin Ingram? 98 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:01,720 Yeah. 99 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:03,320 Laura Fisher? 100 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,160 Oh. 101 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,600 Of course I know that. 102 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,960 And you're here to tell me you don't like milfs 103 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,560 and yet you've got me a bracelet that says milf on it. 104 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:14,440 It has, right. 105 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:15,280 I'm sorry. 106 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:16,120 I'm sorry. 107 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,720 Your father hated me. 108 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,960 He did not have that t-shirt. 109 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,880 He did not die in that t-shirt that's saying, 110 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,960 I love milfs as a ship of our relationship. 111 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,840 He loves milfs in a different way. 112 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,640 It has an apostrophe in S. 113 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:29,880 Did, what? 114 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,800 Did he just fucking, is this, is this- 115 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,200 Your shirt. 116 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,040 Is this polar bears? 117 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:34,880 Sorry. 118 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:35,880 I've been under the bed. 119 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,120 I've just been taken present, but it's been a while. 120 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:41,840 Why is your brother here? 121 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:43,200 Um, well. 122 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,480 I helped put the bear together. 123 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,960 He, yes, he- 124 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,320 It's an apostrophe, yes. 125 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:51,280 He loved my father just as much as our father. 126 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:54,000 Why is your, why is, why is your brother here? 127 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,080 How long have you been under that bed? 128 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:56,920 Three days. 129 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:57,760 Yeah. 130 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:58,600 What did he hear? 131 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,600 Well, he's not in town, has he? 132 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,080 Never has a place to stay. 133 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:02,920 Too much. 134 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,040 So you said, let's put it under the bed and didn't tell me. 135 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,720 That would ruin the surprise. 136 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,800 So, so the surprise for me, for Christmas, 137 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,200 is a polar bear that says, 138 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,680 I love milfs with a hat and a cane, 139 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,320 and your brother under the bed. 140 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,720 Yes, Laura. 141 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:20,800 Not just me. 142 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,320 My wife's here too. 143 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:23,240 What? 144 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,400 Yeah, I'm here as well. 145 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,360 He was gonna get lonely if I wasn't here too, so. 146 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,680 Right, please don't tell me, 147 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,240 please don't tell me you've both been smoking in our flat, 148 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,080 because- 149 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,080 Only under the bed? 150 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:34,160 Only one of us at a time. 151 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:35,440 Only under the bed. 152 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,440 Our mattress is Tempur-pedic. 153 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,440 Do you know how expensive it was? 154 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,840 I don't know what that means. 155 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,280 I just let you buy the mattress. 156 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:43,680 It's not our mattress. 157 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:44,720 It's not our mattress. 158 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,960 Also, I sourced the trousers. 159 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:47,960 You sourced the- 160 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:48,800 For the polar bear. 161 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:49,640 For the polar bear. 162 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,360 Do you know how hard it is to find size 74? 163 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:55,600 In Cornwall. 164 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,840 That was way too big. 165 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,120 That was what I was sourcing for ages. 166 00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,280 Yes, I was gonna say, 167 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,840 I was gonna say, it doesn't look like that size. 168 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:01,680 I find it. 169 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:02,520 Yeah. 170 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,360 I find it. 171 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,180 Yeah. 172 00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:05,020 Turned out way too big. 173 00:06:05,020 --> 00:06:06,400 By the size of a parachute. 174 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,240 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 175 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,760 You were buying a size 70, didn't you? 176 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,200 Yeah, no, it was actually 58. 177 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,040 It's 58. 178 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:12,960 It's a slim polar bear. 179 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,280 It is, it is, isn't it? 180 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:15,120 He works so hard. 181 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,440 Why was he so hard to get up the stairs then? 182 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,560 Why was he so hard to get up the stairs if he's so slim? 183 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:19,640 It was length. 184 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,480 I'm sorry. 185 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:21,320 Yeah, it was hard to get a grip on him too. 186 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:22,140 Why are you here? 187 00:06:22,140 --> 00:06:23,400 Because you felt like you were gripping dad. 188 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,920 Mine's like dad's dimensions. 189 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:25,800 Yeah. 190 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:26,840 Oh yeah. 191 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:31,020 This feels like a really Freudian kind of thing 192 00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:32,420 with your having with this polar bear 193 00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:33,320 that you've given me. 194 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,040 It's bizarre. 195 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:35,880 It's bizarre. 196 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,280 I'm really unhappy with this. 197 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,000 Like I've tried to pretend to be like, 198 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,880 oh, you shouldn't have, but you shouldn't have. 199 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,360 Why on earth? 200 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,800 Why on earth did you think this was a good 201 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,040 Christmas present for me? 202 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,560 I just wanted, I just wanted to make it up for you 203 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:49,400 for last year. 204 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:51,600 I know. Sorry about that. 205 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,880 Yeah. 206 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,640 Yeah, that was awful. 207 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,600 We're all very sorry about last year. 208 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,440 I'm not taking a return. 209 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,680 But I, but I bought it off, I have a receipt. 210 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,680 Yeah, but what's going on with the t-shirt? 211 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,080 This has been modified. 212 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,600 I had to make it fit the polar bear. 213 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,920 Whenever I give out my creations, 214 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:24,480 I trust that they go out and remain unmodified. 215 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,240 I don't like it when people alter them. 216 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,320 I think I do a pretty good job. 217 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,000 T-shirt or the polar bear? 218 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,160 I do a good job of the bear. 219 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,800 The t-shirt's an abomination. 220 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:33,640 Okay, okay. 221 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:34,460 I just- 222 00:07:34,460 --> 00:07:35,800 And I'm a guy that loves myths. 223 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,200 Yeah, yeah, check my bracelet. 224 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,800 Okay, where'd you get that from? 225 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,240 My wife, my wife got it for me. 226 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,400 And she's who the polar bear- 227 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,240 She loved milk. 228 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,200 Was for, she doesn't like it, 229 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,160 and so I'm trying to return it. 230 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,200 Where did she get it from? 231 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,200 Etsy. 232 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,400 Got a seller. 233 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,040 If you take the bear back, 234 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,920 I'll get it to email you the seller. 235 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,720 Yeah, I could do that, I guess. 236 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:56,760 You'll take it back. 237 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,680 Wait, I've just found it. 238 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,520 I looked it up, I put in a milk bracelet, 239 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,040 and it came up. 240 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:03,720 Jesus Christ. 241 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,200 These are pretty sweet. 242 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,040 Yeah. 243 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,000 I'm gonna buy like 20 of them. 244 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,280 Yeah, but don't tell me how much it is, 245 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,520 because that ruins the Christmas present, 246 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,360 that ruins- 247 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,680 You can't know how much a gift costs. 248 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,360 By 19, you get one extra free. 249 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,840 So maybe, you know, 250 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,480 how much does your wife love milk? 251 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:18,800 Because maybe she bought like 19 252 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,280 and gave you one for free. 253 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,640 Look, are you gonna take the polar bear back or not? 254 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,320 No, I told you, no refunds. 255 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,000 I can take the t-shirt off, and the trousers. 256 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,520 You'd leave the bear nude after it's been clothed? 257 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:32,800 Doesn't sound right with me. 258 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,240 You told me you wanted nude. 259 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:36,200 Hello, North Pole customer service. 260 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,040 Hi. 261 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,280 What do you do if you think 262 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,640 Mr. and Mrs. Claus are gonna get divorced? 263 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,640 Mr. and Mrs. Claus would be married happily for millennia. 264 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,440 Yeah, no, and everyone says they'll be together forever, 265 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,640 but sometimes you think they might not be, and- 266 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,480 This is another one of those calls about that song, isn't it? 267 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,200 I saw my husband, and I was like, 268 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,040 I'm gonna get married. 269 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:57,880 I'm gonna get married. 270 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:58,720 I'm gonna get married. 271 00:08:58,720 --> 00:08:59,560 I'm gonna get married. 272 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:00,400 I'm gonna get married. 273 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,240 I'm gonna get married. 274 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,080 I'm gonna get married. 275 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:02,920 I'm gonna get married. 276 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:06,800 I saw mommy kissing 277 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,800 Santa Claus. 278 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,720 It's just a song. 279 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:12,920 It's just a song, kid. 280 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,000 I know what I saw. 281 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,160 Don't, you didn't see. 282 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,000 Santa Claus is not the milkman. 283 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,000 He has rules. I want the PS5. 284 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,880 I want the PS5. 285 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,240 And all the games. 286 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,000 All right, give us your address. 287 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:33,000 Keep your goddamn mouth shut. 288 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,360 Hi, so I'm just looking at the advent calendars. 289 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:44,680 I was wondering if you could help me find a specific one. 290 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:46,160 Oh, yeah, sure. 291 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,080 Anything in particular? 292 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,400 Yes, it's an advent calendar for someone 293 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,680 who won't make it to Christmas. 294 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,560 Oh, I'm so sorry. 295 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:55,560 It's not for me. 296 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:56,560 Oh, okay. 297 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,280 Of course, yeah. 298 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,320 I don't have them to hand. 299 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:02,840 Do you know the specific date? 300 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:04,680 17th. 301 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:06,920 God, I'm so sorry. 302 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,320 It's not for me. 303 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,400 Okay. 304 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:14,400 What if I put some tape on from the 18th onwards? 305 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,200 Well, I would like the last few days to be nice. 306 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,880 You know, I'm looking for something more like up class, 307 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,960 something upscale, you know, with, you know, 308 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,240 like lindwors in them or something like that. 309 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,080 Okay. 310 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,800 I don't want to like tape close a few things 311 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,360 and have like, what, like a tiny Mars bar? 312 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,320 No, no, no, okay. 313 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,000 It's a dear friend, so, you know, I don't mind splurging. 314 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,560 And are you asking that I put the rest of the surprises 315 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:41,560 of 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, and 25th, 316 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,360 that their prizes scattered throughout 317 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,240 or do you want them all on 17th? 318 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,880 Well, I'm usually not the one who buys up calendars. 319 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,920 So, you know, I'm just sort of wondering if, 320 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,000 if this is a common request if you have one, you know, 321 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,400 bespoke advent calendar? 322 00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:00,800 I can't say it is, but I am always willing 323 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,240 to help out a customer who seems in distress. 324 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,160 I'm not in distress. 325 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,640 Again, it's not for me. 326 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,640 Okay. 327 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,520 I've got a long life ahead of me. 328 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,960 You have, you have a thick shell, sir. 329 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:12,800 What makes you say that? 330 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,280 I'm quite a sensitive person. 331 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:18,520 In my experience, as an advent calendar salesman, 332 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:21,400 you can tell a lot about the advent calendar 333 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,640 someone buys and someone buying a bespoke, 334 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:29,400 shortened advent calendar, but obviously unmoved 335 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,240 as a thick shell. 336 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:32,560 Well, I mean, why would I be moved? 337 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:33,560 Again, it's not for me. 338 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,560 It's for a friend. 339 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:35,840 A dear friend, you said? 340 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:36,680 Yes. 341 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:37,600 I was listening. 342 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:38,440 Thank you. 343 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,240 You're attentive, but you don't seem to be processing 344 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,680 the information. 345 00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:43,520 I'm processing. 346 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:44,360 Okay, so I would like to be clear. 347 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:45,480 I'm processing the important information. 348 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,320 I'm not the one dying, so there's no need to be sad. 349 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,160 Okay, yes. 350 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,720 I think this is where we are really coming 351 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,400 to the grit of the argument. 352 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,320 Well, sorry, not argument. 353 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,600 I think it's just been a discussion. 354 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:58,440 Yeah, discussion, yes. 355 00:11:58,440 --> 00:11:59,600 My faux pas. 356 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:00,560 I like your cadence of speech. 357 00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:05,560 I think most people would feel some sort of pain, 358 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,680 premature grief for a dear friend they knew would die. 359 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:14,360 Well, A, again, it's not me. 360 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,000 B, it hasn't happened yet. 361 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,720 And C, I've got a number of other friends. 362 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,240 I'm very popular. 363 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,080 Okay, so. 364 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,280 You know, I'd like to do a nice thing. 365 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,760 You know, he's a good friend. 366 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,800 He was the best man at my wedding. 367 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,960 Of course, and dear. 368 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:28,800 I've known him since childhood. 369 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,040 You've already said you're willing to splurge. 370 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,120 Yeah, of course. 371 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,160 How do you feel when he says, 372 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,680 I won't be past the 17th? 373 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,040 What do you think of when you imagine past that date? 374 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,760 It was Christmas Eve. 375 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,840 It was pretty rough for me, 376 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:46,480 because he's sort of the backbone of a pubcoast team. 377 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:50,280 So, like, come the 20th, I don't know what I'll do. 378 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,720 You get with sports? 379 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,960 Unfortunately, just dates. 380 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,200 Okay, keep that in mind. 381 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,560 But yeah, you know, it's, 382 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:03,920 I want to get him something nice. 383 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,680 It's just tough to know what he's into, you know? 384 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:06,520 Of course. 385 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,360 Ever since he has children, it's all about them now. 386 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:08,200 Of course. 387 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,040 So like, the sort of place where he's made his background. 388 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,680 Of course, the young kindles. 389 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:13,200 Yeah, so, I don't know. 390 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,440 What's your most luxurious outfit in calendar? 391 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:20,160 The most luxurious one is one that says 392 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:21,560 how much it means to you. 393 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,480 And really, we could make it bespoke. 394 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,160 Give me some words to describe his friend. 395 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:31,880 Well, he's the only one who truly sees me for who I am. 396 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:36,240 And he's, you know, he knows when I'm upset before I do. 397 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,480 And he's helped me through some tough times. 398 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,280 When I was sick, he would come over and like, help me, 399 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,760 like even just small things, help me house 400 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,760 and just sort of sit and listen to me. 401 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,880 So, yeah, I think it's a presence 402 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,360 that will be tricky to replace. 403 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:56,080 My friend, I think you've given me enough for most of the doors. 404 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,920 All right, so what will you put in them? 405 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,280 I am curious now. 406 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:03,680 Well, for example, the third will obviously be you. 407 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,640 Look after me when I'm sick. 408 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,000 No. The tenth. 409 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:07,840 Can I just make a... 410 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,680 Is you the only one who truly understands me. 411 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:11,200 I'm slightly concerned with that one. 412 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:14,400 I'm concerned he's going to expect me to reciprocate the favor. 413 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,800 Because he's not well right now. 414 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,640 Okay. 415 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:18,480 Christmas is coming up. 416 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:19,640 Thank you for that information. 417 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:23,280 What if I put that one closer to the sixteenth? 418 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,680 So then he wouldn't have much time to expect. 419 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,440 I wouldn't mind being on the staff bed. 420 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:28,320 Yes. Okay. 421 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,360 So we put it closer to the sixteenth. 422 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,480 He calls you up and you say, okay, I'll come over. 423 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:34,440 That'd be nice. 424 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,280 Yes. Okay. 425 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,320 See, this is the information that we need. Excellent. 426 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,160 Well, I was really like, I would like him to have actual, 427 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,360 you know, like chocolate or something like that. 428 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,280 You know, an actual thing. 429 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,120 Oh, okay. 430 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,240 Like a Mars bar. 431 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,680 I'm hoping to go more market than that. 432 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:49,880 Stickers? 433 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,160 Is that more market? 434 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:53,360 Yes. There's more in it. 435 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,200 I know it's by volume. 436 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:59,200 What if I said I could make you a chocolate bar 437 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:04,120 and if you press your lips while it is still solidifying, 438 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,240 it'd be like you giving him a little kiss goodbye. 439 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,840 We're not friends like that. 440 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,280 You could be. 441 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,560 Hmm. 442 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,840 No. Well, how much would that cost? 443 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,280 I would say a friend like you. 444 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:18,120 We're not friends. 445 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,520 For a good patron like yourself. 446 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:22,680 Thank you. 447 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,400 You'd be on the house. 448 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,920 Hmm. What's the catch? 449 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,520 No catch. 450 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:33,040 But maybe tonight you might be visited 451 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,960 by three advent candle makers. 452 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:40,960 Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Calendar makers. 453 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,480 You swore a lot there. 454 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:43,320 So I didn't really catch that. 455 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,520 Could you repeat that? 456 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:49,520 I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said. 457 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,720 Oh, mom. 458 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,520 You're right there. 459 00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:58,920 Can you get it done? 460 00:15:58,920 --> 00:15:59,920 It's time sensitive. 461 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,640 All right. 462 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:08,560 Guess gonna, I guess I'll call an ambulance. 463 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,680 (*phone ringing*) 464 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,400 Hey, Tim. 465 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:19,240 Yeah. 466 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:20,080 Tim, I'm just calling you 467 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,840 because it's really good news about Carl. 468 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:22,680 Oh, excellent. 469 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,800 Yeah, he's actually gonna survive until the 21st. 470 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,440 I was thinking make the pub close. 471 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,960 I was thinking we'd get four more days with him, 472 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,040 but sure, yeah. 473 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,760 I mean, what better way to do than spend it, 474 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,080 and get the pub close going. 475 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,880 Yeah. Yeah, you're right. 476 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:39,720 Yeah. 477 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,040 How are you doing? 478 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,120 Just, you know, with Carl. 479 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:47,560 Oh, cancel plans. 480 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,440 Yeah, yeah, I cancel plans on you to, 481 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:53,600 brought him some soup. 482 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,080 I like soup. 483 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,480 Do you want me to call Ryan Deers with some more soup 484 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,320 once I'm finished with our friend? 485 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,160 Well, I've got plans for you, 486 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,520 even if you could do it now, that'd be great. 487 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,680 Sure. 488 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:07,520 Thanks. 489 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,880 You're a good friend. 490 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,320 It's gonna be my best friend. 491 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,000 North Pole customer service, how can I help? 492 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,720 This is a Christmas call. 493 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,040 (*laughing*) 494 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,040 This is for Christmas related stuff. 495 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,680 Eric, this is your last chance, 496 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,760 and we're gonna bar your number. 497 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,600 Okay. 498 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,040 What are you doing? 499 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,160 I've got my finger. 500 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,480 For Christmas, for Christmas. 501 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,480 Over the block number, Eric. 502 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,280 Don't do that. 503 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,760 We're on first name basis. 504 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,440 Christmas spirit is made up. 505 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,280 I'll do it. 506 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,480 I'll do it. 507 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,160 So tell me a Christmas problem, 508 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,080 and we might be able to move forward with this phone call. 509 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:57,920 Okay. 510 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,400 My wife kissed Santa Claus. 511 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:04,680 What do you need, Eric? 512 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,520 Tell me what you need and give me your address 513 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:07,840 and keep your mouth shut. 514 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,520 The number of a good lawyer. 515 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,920 All right, I'll send you that in the post. 516 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,640 Wait, could I have asked for anything? 517 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:17,720 Could have asked for, you asked- 518 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,040 I could have asked for a good friend. 519 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,720 This genie has one wish, 520 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,760 and you just used it for a good lawyer. 521 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:24,960 Can I have a good friend? 522 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,360 Nope, you used your wish. 523 00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:27,520 Can I have your number? 524 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:39,880 Honey, the MILF bracelets have gone crazy this week. 525 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,600 I don't know what, they're selling like crazy. 526 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,160 I don't know what's happened. 527 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,400 I just think the trend's catching on. 528 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,560 Do you think so? 529 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,960 Everyone loves them by definition, 530 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,880 because if you don't love them, they're not a MILF. 531 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,960 That's what the L stands for, love. 532 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,160 Wow. 533 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:01,160 See, I never felt that way about my own mom. 534 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,760 Well, she doesn't fall under that umbrella then. 535 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,680 That's interesting. 536 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,840 I think we're gonna be rich from this. 537 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:08,760 Oh, now it's we. 538 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,440 Now it's we. 539 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,200 All these months has been my business endeavor, 540 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,960 my financial burden, my mistake for quitting my job. 541 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,760 Suddenly it's we, suddenly it's we. 542 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,480 Well, surely you should be grateful 543 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:23,720 that I'm bringing you in now 544 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,120 when we're actually making money, honey. 545 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,240 This has been my idea from the start. 546 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,840 Well, maybe. It's always been our idea. 547 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,080 I just don't like that now that it's working, 548 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,080 it's our idea. 549 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,480 It should have been our idea whether it's working or not. 550 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,640 Should I keep making the bracelets? 551 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,080 Keep making them, Terry. 552 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,560 We need a 70-mol MILF bracelets. 553 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,720 I need 170 more. 554 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,560 Okay, dad, okay, mom. 555 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:53,480 I don't appreciate you raising this in front of Terry. 556 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,040 You're the one who brought it up. 557 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,040 I wanted us to celebrate today, okay? 558 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,640 These MILF bracelets are a great idea. 559 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:01,560 Yeah. 560 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,760 I just need you to admit your wrongdo- 561 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,560 All you need to do is say, 562 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,920 I'm sorry, I didn't support you. 563 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,880 That's all that needs to happen right now. 564 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:10,960 Yeah? Yeah. 565 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,560 I'm sorry, I didn't support you. 566 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,680 Not you, Terry, you've been my rock. 567 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,360 That's it, that's all you need? 568 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,280 That's all I need. That's it, just that? 569 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,600 You know what? Nothing else? 570 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,720 That's not all I need, that's all we need. 571 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:27,520 Are we gonna kiss? 572 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:29,720 Yes. 573 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,080 I'm the only MILF in your life. 574 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,320 Yeah, you are. 575 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,280 Please, please no. 576 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,120 Terry, take a hike. 577 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:37,960 Terry, get out of here. 578 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:38,800 Can I take five? 579 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:39,640 I can stop making the bracelets? 580 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,320 You need more than five. 581 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,160 Just leave. 582 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,080 I need something for my son. 583 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,000 He loves MILFs. 584 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,400 I love MILFs. 585 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,480 I'm sorry, son. 586 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,200 We're all out of MILF bracelets today. 587 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,280 No! Everyone's taking them. 588 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,240 My son needs a MILF bracelet. 589 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,760 He needs to prove his love. 590 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,480 We're all, it's Christmas Eve, sir. 591 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,200 Everyone wants a MILF bracelet, okay? 592 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,360 I'll do anything. 593 00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,000 We want MILF bracelets! 594 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,520 We want MILF bracelets! 595 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:11,840 Holy shit, there's gonna be a riot. 596 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:12,680 You don't understand. 597 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,720 This is the first Christmas I've had my child. 598 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:19,360 If I get him out, I will beat his own. 599 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,560 Look, deadbeat dads. 600 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,760 You should have got a MILF bracelet weeks ago. 601 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,400 I didn't care weeks ago. 602 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:26,520 I cared tonight. 603 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,720 This is the second Christmas I've had my kid 604 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,440 and the first one went terrible. 605 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,880 So I need this one to work. 606 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,520 I wanna go stay with mom. 607 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:35,360 No you don't. 608 00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:36,400 You wanna stay with dad. 609 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,120 He's good and proud and boy is he trying. 610 00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:40,720 Give me that MILF bracelet. 611 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,960 Please, we need you all to move back. 612 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,320 There's gonna be a frosh. 613 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,160 MILF bracelet, MILF bracelet, MILF bracelet, 614 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:46,000 MILF bracelet, MILF bracelet, 615 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:46,840 You can't breathe. 616 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,320 Michael, Michael. 617 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,680 You're doing a bit late shopping, are you? 618 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,440 No, been planned for weeks. 619 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,200 Oh, come off it. 620 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,160 I'm just laughing, 621 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,840 cause all these deadbeat dads. 622 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,480 So is Tim gonna stay with you in boxing now? 623 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:04,320 Oh yeah. 624 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,160 Please. 625 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:06,000 And you know what? 626 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,800 I got a great bargain on this big box of MILF bracelets. 627 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,240 207 for the price of four. 628 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,720 What are you gonna do with them? 629 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,480 Oh, I'll probably give them out to the girls. 630 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,480 What's that over there? 631 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,040 That's our son. 632 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:20,880 Hi mom. 633 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,200 Fuck, fuck that was my opening. 634 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,040 Ah shit. 635 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,880 Mom, can I have a MILF bracelet? 636 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,080 Don't listen to the boy. 637 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,320 Yeah, here's four. 638 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:31,160 Thank you. 639 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,400 Happy Christmas. 640 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,600 We did it. 641 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,840 We did it together as a family. 642 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,760 We're all together and someone's gonna take someone back. 643 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,240 It's a Christmas. 644 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,960 Miracle, miracle, miracle. 645 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,000 Dad, do you wanna take one of the MILF bracelets 646 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,480 to give me on Christmas? 647 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,200 No, no. 648 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,920 I don't mind. 649 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:55,760 I haven't earned it. 650 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,240 I'm gonna find you a MILF bracelet 651 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,840 if I have to beat every deadbeat dad in here. 652 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,040 Okay, if you're just giving those away, 653 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,160 I really need one. 654 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:03,000 Okay. 655 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,800 North Pole customer services. 656 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:11,640 How can I help? 657 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:16,640 Hello, so last year I came into possession 658 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:21,480 of a Ford Fiesta 2009 model, a hot magenta. 659 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,080 And it has a flat tire. 660 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:28,280 So context, I got it from Santa 661 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,600 whenever he was in the Dominican shopping center. 662 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,800 So I just wanted to see if that's something 663 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,240 that you guys can cover. 664 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,240 Like if that's still like still covered 665 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,920 because it's like just on the right side of the warranty. 666 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,760 Yeah, yeah, whenever I got it. 667 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,760 But just like, I just need a new tire 668 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,680 and like that, you know, like the metal bit, 669 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,800 like the alloy, like I don't know if it is an alloy, 670 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,200 but I just wanted to match the tires 671 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,520 that are currently on the car. 672 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:55,920 Yeah, what can you do for me? 673 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,760 Yeah, we can make that happen. 674 00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:58,600 Great. 675 00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,440 That's absolutely no problem. 676 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,640 Yeah, did Santa give you a receipt? 677 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,640 So I was dealing with a man called Rudy. 678 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,160 We're all called Rudy up here. 679 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:08,960 Rudy's used car a lot. 680 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,280 It's local to us. 681 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:11,120 Oh. 682 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:13,680 I don't know if he. 683 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:17,120 Oh, I wonder if, oh, we had a Rudy leave the team. 684 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:18,200 Oh, maybe it's him. 685 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,000 No, I think they use car a lot. 686 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,840 I mean, it's currently in liquidation. 687 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,280 So I definitely have the paperwork somewhere. 688 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:27,640 Give me a sec. 689 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:28,480 Okay. 690 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,600 I should be able to locate that. 691 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,880 Or are you obtaining like photos or scans 692 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,240 or like, will you just take my word for it? 693 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,880 Yeah, some scans would be good. 694 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:36,920 I'll just be on hold. 695 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,000 Here comes Santa Claus. 696 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,280 Here comes Santa Claus. 697 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:41,600 Here comes Santa Claus. 698 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:42,440 Sweet. 699 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,600 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 700 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,480 Give us the fucking bracelets you can't. 701 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:54,320 Oh. 702 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:55,560 Give us the fucking bracelets. 703 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,720 Oh, so hasty, so quick. 704 00:24:58,720 --> 00:24:59,560 I will kick you in your shins. 705 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,200 Why don't you sit on my lap and tell Santa. 706 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,640 You know what, Santa doesn't have any fat in his shins. 707 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,320 I can fuck up your shins. 708 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,360 Young man, this is- 709 00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:09,480 I need these bracelets. 710 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,480 I need my son to be proud of me. 711 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:12,880 Look, I have a couple- 712 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,360 His mother has 200 of them. 713 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:15,920 I just need one. 714 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,400 He already has four. 715 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,560 Look, I will get you the fucking bracelet. 716 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:20,720 You just need to sit on my lap. 717 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:21,720 It's part of the rigmarole. 718 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,680 There's people watching, just sit on my lap. 719 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,440 We'll have the polite conversation. 720 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,560 I'll give you a bracelet and then you can fuck off, right? 721 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:28,560 I can't do that. 722 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,440 But my ass gets warm. 723 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,720 Well, how did you, you got in the line. 724 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:32,760 How did you expect this to work? 725 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,680 I was going to kick you in the shins and get the bracelets. 726 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:36,440 I have a knife. 727 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,440 This guy's taking too long. 728 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,000 Hey, little orphan. 729 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,000 Fuck. 730 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:44,240 Fuck. 731 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:45,280 Say it to my face. 732 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,080 Back the fuck off, you parentless fuck. 733 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,160 You know what, I don't have a parent 734 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,680 so I can fucking kick you in the dick. 735 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,920 Oh, frantic orphans, I see. 736 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:53,960 He's an orphan by choice. 737 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:54,800 He's an orphan by choice. 738 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:55,560 He's not meant for- 739 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:56,480 Let me get him, dad. 740 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:57,120 Let me at him. 741 00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:58,120 Oh my God. 742 00:25:58,120 --> 00:25:59,200 Oh, that was so painful. 743 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,240 And I'll be an orphan again, you motherfucker. 744 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,240 Elves, attack this man. 745 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,240 Oh, attack the child. 746 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,240 Oh, fuck. 747 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,240 Oh, daddy. 748 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,760 Little orphan, what would you like for Christmas 749 00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:14,760 instead of this horrible man? 750 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:21,760 Um, well, peace and goodwill and your last milk bracelet. 751 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:26,760 Oh, here you go, little boy. 752 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,240 Uh-oh. 753 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,240 I'm going to put this down the toilet, you wanker. 754 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:31,240 Oh. 755 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:46,240 Hey, you know, now that this case wrapped up, 756 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,240 can I just say, it's been fun talking to you. 757 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,240 Do you want to hang out sometime? 758 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:54,240 Like, Christmas-related or just- 759 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,240 I don't know, we can talk about anything. 760 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:57,240 Oh, huh. 761 00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,240 Just, uh, yes. 762 00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,240 Okay, uh, and I- 763 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:01,240 You know, I don't know how you got my number, 764 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,240 but I think we get along, right? 765 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,240 Yeah. 766 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,240 It's been, yeah. 767 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,240 Oh, boy. 768 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:11,240 Oh, boy. 769 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:12,240 Where do you want to go? 770 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,240 Do you want to get a pint? 771 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:15,240 We can go pint. 772 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,240 In mini-golfing, how does that sound? 773 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:18,240 Pints? 774 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,240 Mini-golf. 775 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:20,240 Mini-golf, please. 776 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:21,240 I know a guy that let us have pints. 777 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:22,240 Oh my- 778 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,240 You're such a cool lawyer. 779 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,240 Oh, thanks. 780 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,240 It's really nothing, you're the cool guy. 781 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:29,240 Can I- 782 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,240 Your jumper lights up, dude. 783 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:31,240 Right? 784 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,240 Can I borrow your phone? 785 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:34,240 Yeah. 786 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:35,240 Can I borrow- 787 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,240 I just need to ring someone real quick. 788 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,240 You know the password, it's your birthday. 789 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,240 No ways. 790 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,240 North Pole customer services, how can I help? 791 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:51,240 This isn't Christmas-related, but Rudy, thank you so much. 792 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:55,240 Eric, you're not going to believe this. 793 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,240 That lawyer also needed a friend. 794 00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,240 Rudy! 795 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,240 It's a Christmas miracle. 796 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:10,240 Rudy, you're so good! 797 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:15,240 Back to Dunbracken is created, produced, and edited by Conneth McVeigh. 798 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:22,240 For more information on the podcast, you can follow us at DunbrackenPod on Instagram. 799 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:29,240 This episode featured Patrick Meyer, we had Laura Conlon, Cairn Sands, Amelia Price, Eddie 800 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:37,240 Goodwin, Gerd Donnelly, Declan King, Kate Reese, and Conor Rettig. 801 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:41,240 The opening and closing music was created by Conor Mallon, and you can check out his 802 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:48,240 entire album Unearthed on Spotify now. 803 00:28:48,240 --> 00:29:15,240 Thank you for listening, we look forward to welcoming you back to Dunbracken very soon.