1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,880 Alright class, so we're finishing a bit early today because, and there's no getting out 2 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:13,560 of it this time, you each have to give each other a compliment. 3 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:17,080 Last time I let the class go after half an hour, but not today. 4 00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:20,520 We're staying here till you all compliment each other. 5 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,920 Alright, anyone wants to go first? 6 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,820 My mom's picking me up after school. 7 00:00:24,820 --> 00:00:26,440 She says I can't be late. 8 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,440 Your mom's nice. 9 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:28,440 Your mom's nice. 10 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,440 Can we go now? 11 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:37,320 No, that's a good effort, but I want you to compliment each other, not each other's moms. 12 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,240 All the moms here are lovely, we know that. 13 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,840 I'll have a go. 14 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:41,840 Your mom's nice. 15 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:42,840 Thanks. 16 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,920 Again, everyone's mom's lovely, but we need to compliment each other. 17 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,120 Jessica, I like how you wear your shoes. 18 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,280 They never fall off. 19 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:52,840 The wooden clogs? 20 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:58,440 I didn't say I like the shoes because I thought that would lose me some points. 21 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,160 I don't like the shoes, I don't like the clogs, Jessica. 22 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,640 That's a great choice of words there. 23 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,800 Did that feel like a sincere compliment to you, Jessica? 24 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:07,800 Backhanded. 25 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,760 Yes, because your shoes came off frequently during class. 26 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:14,160 And I can't really get a good grip, I'm always falling over the place. 27 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,320 I think I am ready to help. 28 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:20,480 Okay, you're grinning and I'm going to ask you right now. 29 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,480 Is it going to be, no, no. 30 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,440 We'll go back to Jessica later. 31 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:26,440 Pick someone else. 32 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:34,360 Tom, Tom, I like how you stopped throwing that paper at Jessica during class. 33 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,600 Don't tell her that, I fancy her though. 34 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,480 I thought that's what you were going to. 35 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,440 I didn't say anything. 36 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,760 Can you strike that from the record? 37 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,120 Okay, I'll go again. 38 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,120 No, I cannot. 39 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,120 I need to inform your parents about who you may or may not fancy. 40 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,120 No. 41 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,120 It's important. 42 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,640 I like how you... 43 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:57,320 Why is everyone so quick to go to Jessica? 44 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,120 Now is this a compliment for Jessica? 45 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,120 It sure is. 46 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,120 Now... 47 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,920 Sure is, I'm giving a nice compliment to a woman with a lovely mother. 48 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,960 Okay here's the thing, if this is not a compliment, I'm keeping you for detention. 49 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,120 So think about it very carefully. 50 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,120 Is it a compliment? 51 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,520 Yeah. 52 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,720 Against my better judgement, go ahead. 53 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:22,320 Jessica, I like how you don't change who you are despite no one loving you. 54 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,320 No, stop, stop. 55 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:24,320 But I like her. 56 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:25,320 No, you didn't let me finish. 57 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,320 That's good. 58 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,320 Or someone liking you. 59 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,320 I like that you don't... 60 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:32,360 I like that you don't change regardless of if you're being loved at that current moment. 61 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,360 This isn't fun. 62 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,360 Which you weren't. 63 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:35,360 It's not. 64 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:36,360 But now you are. 65 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,240 Look, I stopped you because the first few words were great. 66 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,240 I like... 67 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,280 Try two or three more. 68 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,320 This is just confirming that people don't like me. 69 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:48,480 I know that you were once unloved and now somebody does like you. 70 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,120 Now you're staying for detention, you know that right? 71 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,120 What? 72 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:53,800 Yeah, that was not a sincere compliment. 73 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:54,800 Wow. 74 00:02:54,800 --> 00:03:00,320 Even though it doesn't sound sincere, because no one's loved me, it kind of sounds okay 75 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:01,780 to me. 76 00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:04,480 If you get detention Jessica, I'll tell you who it is. 77 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,480 Is it Tom? 78 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:06,480 No! 79 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:07,480 I legally can't say. 80 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,440 What do you mean you legally can't say? 81 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,000 I said I would tell her in detention. 82 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,040 They know what they meant. 83 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,640 I stand by my words. 84 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:18,880 This has been very difficult. 85 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,080 How about I guide you through something, okay? 86 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,080 Yeah. 87 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,720 You have a lovely mother. 88 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:25,720 Thank you. 89 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,760 It's not true, but I appreciate it. 90 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:32,800 I think this exercise that you're making us do is really nice. 91 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,320 It's not nice. 92 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:38,480 I think despite what all the other teachers say, you're pretty smart. 93 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,760 When I said I got, I meant that I would give you the start of a compliment and one of you 94 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:42,760 would finish it. 95 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:47,440 Not that you would compliment me and you're staying for detention for the extra day now. 96 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:51,120 How about we give you the end of a compliment and you give us a start? 97 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,120 Yeah. 98 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,120 No, you're meant to be complimenting. 99 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,120 Nice mother. 100 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,240 We're not doing this. 101 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,240 Butter. 102 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,320 Yeah, like make a nice compliment about butter. 103 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,320 I like butter. 104 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,800 Use butter as an example, sir. 105 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,800 All right, I'll compliment butter. 106 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,360 No, no, no, don't compliment butter. 107 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,240 Use butter as the compliment. 108 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,520 Yeah, compliment its mother, the kai. 109 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:14,520 Sorry? 110 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,520 What? 111 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:16,520 What did you say there? 112 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,520 Huh? 113 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:18,520 Detention. 114 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:44,800 Welcome back to Dunbracken. 115 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,520 Um, Marv. 116 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:53,520 Yeah? 117 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:57,960 I'm just, you know, we have the kids coming in at 11. 118 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:58,960 Yeah. 119 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:03,760 And I'm just looking at the main petting area here. 120 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,760 They're working hard. 121 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:06,760 Yeah. 122 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,840 So look, I appreciate you're not long on the job now. 123 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:13,520 And you're saying that it's been a year. 124 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,520 Yeah. 125 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,520 Well, I'm saying it's to give you a little bit of grace. 126 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:17,520 Honestly, Marv. 127 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,920 And give grace up on you too? 128 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,920 Yeah, not that kind of grace. 129 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,680 But thank you. 130 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:30,720 I'll always appreciate the Lord's grace in my direction. 131 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:36,480 I want to ask this of you now, and I don't want you to take it this wrong way, because 132 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:40,880 it might seem like I've made a judgment about you. 133 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,280 Did you, when I asked you to clean the tank? 134 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:44,280 Great job. 135 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:45,280 Yes. 136 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,280 No. 137 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,160 I'm going to be clear. 138 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:54,760 Did you just take all the fish out and just put them in a pile and then just clean the 139 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,160 tank and then put them back in? 140 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:01,440 Interestingly, I actually first off, I drained the tank first. 141 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,400 Oh, so they died slowly. 142 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,680 No, but don't worry. 143 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,840 Then I picked them up and then put them in the pile. 144 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:07,840 The pile. 145 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:08,840 Yeah. 146 00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:09,840 Yes. 147 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:10,840 So they're all together. 148 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:13,640 But the pile was close to, you know, that little bit that keeps dripping. 149 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,600 So I was like, well, that'll probably cover them. 150 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:19,400 And then once I had finished cleaning, bleached, bleached all through. 151 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,120 We can't keep buying starfish. 152 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,240 We can't keep buying starfish. 153 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:25,400 They're so expensive. 154 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,240 These kids are coming in in about five minutes now and there's nothing for them to touch. 155 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,240 Hold on a minute. 156 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:31,240 Now think about this. 157 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,760 Now, if the fish aren't moving about, sure, they're a lot easier to pet. 158 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,360 They can just grab them. 159 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,960 They can do what they want with them. 160 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,200 And in fact, if there's no water, much easier to grab them then. 161 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,200 Yeah. 162 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,040 Because you don't really know if you're petting it if it's inside water. 163 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,080 You know, in many ways, you're right. 164 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,080 In many ways, you're right. 165 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,240 I think that's fair. 166 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,280 But I think the children will know that they're dead. 167 00:06:50,280 --> 00:07:00,800 And that might be just a little bit more of an issue. 168 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,440 Welcome back to our linear despair and retribution. 169 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:07,240 That little kid who usually does these is off sick or something. 170 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,000 There's nobody to tell me nothing. 171 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,000 You're going to pay for this. 172 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,600 But I'm not forced to read out this nonsense. 173 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,040 I don't know why they can't get someone else. 174 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,920 But here I am. 175 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,240 Mr. Melju has returned to school. 176 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:25,800 And the notes say here that he took some time to grieve a bereavement last month. 177 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:30,280 But we're all very excited for his return because we've all been working very hard 178 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:34,000 on the zingers around the death of his singing career. 179 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:39,400 The fifth year police have put a blanket ban on making fun of him for this reason. 180 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,760 I can do it because I have a tenure. 181 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,300 They can't touch me. 182 00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,000 The fifth year police can't touch me. 183 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,880 If they touch me, I'll wedgie their socks. 184 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:51,080 But in a statement put out yesterday, they can touch you. 185 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,080 So be careful. 186 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:55,640 They said, who are you to make fun of a man for trying to live out his dreams? 187 00:07:55,640 --> 00:08:00,480 How would you like it if I made fun of you for wanting to be an influencer, Jackie? 188 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,480 They got Jackie. 189 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,840 All right, Jack, you're never going to make it as an influencer. 190 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:06,200 Stop it now. 191 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:10,200 Stop making your stupid little sketch videos, Jack, and eat the fucking beans in the cafeteria 192 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,240 gives you 193 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:19,000 all our forms of teasing and prodding at Mr. Meljer are still permitted. 194 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:23,640 Also in some happier news, the year nine class who missed their school trip to the aquarium 195 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:28,640 at the end of last year due to the fire will be heading there today. 196 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:33,640 Unless happy news to make up the money for that school trip, I had to take the funds 197 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,440 from the cafeteria. 198 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,240 That's where that money is gone to the school trips. 199 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,240 Nothing nefarious. 200 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:44,240 Just eat your beans in the cafeteria. 201 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,240 Nothing nefarious. 202 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:49,240 The money's went to school trips. 203 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:58,240 Um, have you noticed home economics has gotten a bit, a bit more intense lately? 204 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:03,240 Yeah, there's the pots and pans are kind of loud. 205 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:06,240 They have speakers on the handles. 206 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:11,240 And these are the sharpest knives I've ever seen in my life. 207 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:14,240 Have you taken off the knob to the oven yet? 208 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,240 No. 209 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,240 Have you looked inside the knob in the oven? 210 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,240 No. 211 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,240 Okay, come to my classroom. 212 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,240 Come to my classroom. 213 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:23,240 Come to my classroom. 214 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,240 See, there's no knob on the oven. 215 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,240 We can speak freely here. 216 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,240 What? 217 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:39,240 I found a tiny little bug inside the knob to the oven. 218 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:42,240 If you turn it up to 180, it starts beeping. 219 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,240 Like a cockroach or like a, like a? 220 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,240 No, they're listening to us. 221 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,240 I know they're listening to me. 222 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,240 For a cockroach or? 223 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:54,240 I told Mrs. Emmy about my lesson plan for last Thursday. 224 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:55,240 Okay, I didn't tell anyone else. 225 00:09:55,240 --> 00:10:00,240 Next thing I know, Mr. Jimmy's out there giving the same lesson plan. 226 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,240 Don't you think that's interesting? 227 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:07,240 I think it's interesting how they have been able to communicate with a cockroach and have a... 228 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,240 Do you hear that? 229 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,240 I did hear that. 230 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,240 Is that relevant? 231 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:11,240 Okay, good. It wasn't just me. 232 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,240 Do you think that's relevant to our discussion or do you think he's trying to... 233 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,240 You never know in here. 234 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,240 You never know in here. 235 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:21,240 God, I thought it ended at Olenu Kukwari and Kukwari, but... 236 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,240 I don't think it was a real cockroach. 237 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,240 Huh. 238 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,240 Okay, we'll try this one more time. 239 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,240 Now, Jessica, do you have a compliment you want to give to someone? 240 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,240 Yeah. 241 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,240 Affirmations. 242 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:42,240 Um, I like the newsman. 243 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:47,240 He tells me some things are upsetting, but he does a good job. 244 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:52,240 There's a war going on in the corner of Dunbarcon. 245 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:55,240 We know Jessica, but we don't like to talk about it. 246 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,240 We'd like to keep this a politics-free zone. 247 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,240 Sorry. 248 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,240 That's why none of the reporters from the school newspaper are allowed in. 249 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,240 Yes. 250 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,240 Look at them stand by the door. 251 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,240 Shell shocked. 252 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,240 Have they made you sign an NDA? 253 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,240 Is that why you can't legally say? 254 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:13,240 I won't be taking any further questions at this time, but good line of questioning, sir. 255 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,240 All right, Jessica, how about you compliment Tom? 256 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,240 Say something nice about Tom. 257 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,240 Um, I signed one of those NCA's. 258 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,240 No compliment agreement. 259 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,240 What? Why would you do that? 260 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,240 You know we end each class with compliments. 261 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:29,240 You know I can get you into detention if you don't say anything. 262 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,240 You're good at getting people into detention. 263 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,240 How are you going to get Jessica into detention? 264 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,240 I make my own forms. 265 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:39,240 Okay. I know. I've got one. Tom, you've got a really big thigh. Just one. 266 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,240 Hey. 267 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,240 That's a compliment. Some people don't even have one. 268 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,240 Yeah. You've got a par thigh, Tom. 269 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,240 No, I just have an insecurity. 270 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,240 From the woman that you like? 271 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:49,240 Yeah. 272 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,240 How about we stop describing each other's physical appearance? 273 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:59,240 Sir, your intellect is better than the other teachers give you credit for. 274 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,240 Why are you spending so much time with the other teachers? 275 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,240 Well, we have classes with them. 276 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,240 But it sounds like you have private chats. 277 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:09,240 No, we end every class giving insults to the other teachers. 278 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:10,240 To the teachers? 279 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:11,240 Yeah. 280 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,240 No, no, they give the insults. 281 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:16,240 I don't like the other teachers roasting the students. 282 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,240 They're not. They're roasting you mostly. 283 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,240 Oh, it's just me. 284 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,240 Yeah. And the bus driver. 285 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,240 My brother. 286 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,240 Yeah. 287 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,240 I bet you my mother put them up to that. 288 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,240 Horrid old woman. 289 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:33,240 All right. We'll try this one last time. Okay? 290 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:38,240 I want you each to compliment a subject that the other person is willing. Okay? 291 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:39,240 Very straightforward. 292 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,240 No backhandedness. 293 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,240 No, you did it better than expected. 294 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,240 No, you do well given the circumstances. 295 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:49,240 Just say a subject that they do well in. 296 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,240 You're making compliments very hard, sir. 297 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,240 Yeah. 298 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:56,240 Theo, you're really good at lunchtime. 299 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,240 Great. 300 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:58,240 Theo's not here anymore. 301 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,240 He's stuck out the window, so he didn't hear that one. 302 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:06,240 That's fine. He's not my problem, student. 303 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,240 Tom, you hide your love real well. 304 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:10,240 That's not a subject. 305 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,240 Tom! 306 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:18,240 Oh, Tom, you're really good at PE because of that thigh. 307 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:19,240 That's true. 308 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,240 Now, I did say we stop after the subject, but... 309 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,240 That feels backhanded. 310 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:24,240 It does, yes. 311 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,240 You're good at PE because of my one thigh. 312 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,240 I'd rather be good at both. 313 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,240 Tom, you're getting complimented. Take it. 314 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,240 Okay. Thanks, Jessica. 315 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:33,240 Yeah, you got it. 316 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,240 Can I go? 317 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,240 Oh, no. Give her attention. 318 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,240 I need to tell her who likes her. 319 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,240 I'm not giving Jessica the attention. 320 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:50,240 She gets worse than my brother. 321 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:54,240 The thick, ugly kids who were made to do labs at the last school open night, 322 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,240 and then I accidentally ran through a gap in the fence 323 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,240 and continued running until they hit the forest. 324 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,240 And then the fucking idiots began to just start living out in the forest, 325 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:06,240 and they created a little community 326 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,240 and a safe haven for thick, ugly kids in the forest. 327 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,240 Thank God they're all out of my school. 328 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,240 We'll be doing an exchange program. 329 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:15,240 What? 330 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,240 We're doing an exchange program with them. 331 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,240 We just got them out of the school. 332 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,240 Why are we doing it for an entire month? 333 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,240 Eat kids? 334 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:23,240 What? 335 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,240 So we're getting rid of eat kids from our school, 336 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,240 and we're giving... 337 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,240 We're getting eat thick, ugly commune kids? 338 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,240 Oh, I hate this. 339 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,240 I hate this so much. 340 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,240 There's a French person coming too. 341 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,240 What? 342 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:42,240 Oh, come on. 343 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,240 This is bullshit. 344 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:50,240 Oh, I've got things to do in this school. 345 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,240 Mr. Howard? 346 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:53,240 Mr. Howard? 347 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:54,240 You can call me James. 348 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,240 Don't worry. 349 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,240 Don't worry. 350 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,240 I'm not one of those old school teachers. 351 00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,240 You can call me James. 352 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,240 OK, Mr. James? 353 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:01,240 Yeah, yeah, sure. 354 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:02,240 How can I help you, Tony? 355 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:06,240 My iPad's all set to Japanese. 356 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,240 That's good. 357 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,240 That's a learning experience. 358 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:12,240 I don't know how to speak it or read it. 359 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:13,240 For now. 360 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,240 But that's what you're here for. 361 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,240 OK? 362 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,240 This is a fully immersive education environment. 363 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:19,240 Right? 364 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,240 So, forgetting, we use context clues. 365 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,240 Uh-huh. 366 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:23,240 A pop-up has come up. 367 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,240 There's two options. 368 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,240 Uh-huh. 369 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,240 Now, you can use context clues to figure out what one means. 370 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,240 Do I press the boy or the girl? 371 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,240 That's for you to answer. 372 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,240 That's not for me to tell you. 373 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,240 OK. 374 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:37,240 I like the girl. 375 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,240 That's great. 376 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,240 So you tap that one. 377 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,240 She has pink hair. 378 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,240 OK. 379 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,240 It's yelling. 380 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:46,240 It's not yelling just because you don't understand the language. 381 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,240 Uh-huh. 382 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,240 Can you make it stop yelling? 383 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,240 You can mute it if you wish. 384 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,240 OK. 385 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,240 Now, use context clues again. 386 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,240 There's three buttons on the iPad on the side. 387 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,240 They say boy, girl, and other. 388 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,240 Now, I shouldn't be doing that on the side on the iPad. 389 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,240 That's interesting. 390 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,240 I think it's in Japanese. 391 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,240 The physical iPad as well. 392 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,240 I didn't realize that. 393 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:09,240 I suppose we've got to get them from somewhere. 394 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,240 That makes sense. 395 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,240 My mommy said the funding wasn't very good for the school, 396 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,240 so they had to get the Japanese iPads. 397 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,240 Yes. 398 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,240 It's bad for supplies. 399 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,240 On the other hand, if the funding was better, 400 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,240 some teachers like me wouldn't get our jobs here. 401 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:23,240 OK. 402 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,240 So, you know, you've got to take the good with the bad. 403 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,240 Mr. Jimmy, I'm my old school. 404 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,240 We had to use Tesco huddles. 405 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,240 They're perfectly fine tablets. 406 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:33,240 Yeah, but they're a bit cheap. 407 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,240 So, actually, I think the Japanese iPads are a real step up. 408 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,240 You got the Tesco ones? 409 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,240 Yeah. 410 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:40,240 We were using Lidl. 411 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,240 Wow. 412 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:42,240 And those were in German. 413 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,240 Now, this is a multilingual environment. 414 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,240 Yeah, but those are easy to use. 415 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,240 Now, those were yelling at you. 416 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,240 Yeah, but I liked it then. 417 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,240 And they were easy to use for it. 418 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,240 You listened to them, right? 419 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,240 Yeah. 420 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,240 So, what do we learn here? 421 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:59,240 Mein iPad ist gut. 422 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,240 Can someone translate for me? 423 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,240 Yeah, he said, my iPad is good. 424 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,240 You just repeated the sentence. 425 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,240 No, that's what he said. 426 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,240 He didn't translate the sentence. 427 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,240 He said it in German. 428 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,240 I'm translating from German. 429 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,240 So, I don't know how to say it in English 430 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,240 because it was the German iPad. 431 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,240 OK, so this is interesting. 432 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,240 So, you've developed gaps in your English 433 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,240 that have been filled by the German. 434 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,240 Yeah. 435 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:25,240 There are linguists that would kill 436 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,240 for a chance to learn this, 437 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,240 and you get it for free. 438 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:29,240 Really? 439 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,240 Yes. 440 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,240 Is it going to make my life easier? 441 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,240 You've learned it for free, 442 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,240 and life doesn't need to be easy. 443 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,240 It needs to be interesting. 444 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:40,240 Mr. Jimmy, my tablet doesn't have any boy-girl buttons. 445 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,240 What are your buttons? 446 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,240 Apples and bananas. 447 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,240 Interesting. 448 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:46,240 Press the banana. 449 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:47,240 Why? 450 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:50,240 On the German iPad to open Minecraft. 451 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,240 The banana is yelling at me. 452 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,240 What did you do to upset it? 453 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,240 Press the apple. 454 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,240 Oh, so the banana is right. 455 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:58,240 Yeah. 456 00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,240 Yeah. 457 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:00,240 Told you. 458 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,240 Oh, it's Minecraft. 459 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:02,240 Yeah. 460 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,240 Nice. 461 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:04,240 Minecraft? 462 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,240 Klaus, we've talked about this before. 463 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,240 Go to the principal. 464 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,240 Nine. 465 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,240 Nine? 466 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,240 No. 467 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,240 Jimmy. 468 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:23,240 I got these iPads from my cousin Dave, right? 469 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,240 And they came in lovely and cheap, 470 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,240 so I thought you might want to use them in the old school there. 471 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,240 They're from Japan, so you know they're good quality. 472 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,240 I'll be honest. 473 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,240 I'm not really at that level where I can make purchasing decisions. 474 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,240 Look, do you want them or not? 475 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,240 Do you want them or not? 476 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,240 I do want them. 477 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,240 Two hundred all in. 478 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,240 Two hundred all in. 479 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,240 Two hundred for fifty iPads. 480 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,240 Two hundred all in. 481 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,240 You know what? 482 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,240 I'll go to pocket for this. 483 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,240 I'll go out of pocket. 484 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:46,240 It's worth it for the kids. 485 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,240 All right, shake on it. 486 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,240 Shake on it. 487 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,240 Oh, yeah. 488 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,240 I'm sorry. 489 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,240 I'm on this rehydration diet. 490 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,240 I have a lot of saliva right now. 491 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,240 No worries. 492 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,240 Do you want a receipt there? 493 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:55,240 Oh, you do? 494 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,240 Yeah, that's great. 495 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,240 Use the post-it notes or even in that card, 496 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,240 that thank you card you got from one of the kids there. 497 00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,240 I'd rather keep that card. 498 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:00,240 It's the first acknowledgement I've gotten in my 20 years of life. 499 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,240 I'm not going to do that. 500 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,240 I'm not going to do that. 501 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:03,240 I'm not going to do that. 502 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,240 I'm not going to do that. 503 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,240 I'm not going to do that. 504 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:12,240 I'm not going to do that. 505 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:17,240 I'm not going to do that. 506 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:24,240 I'm not going to do that. 507 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:39,240 I'm not going to do that. 508 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:50,240 I'm not going to do that. 509 00:19:50,240 --> 00:20:03,240 I'm not going to do that. 510 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,240 If you can get this man to supply everything in the school, 511 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,240 you can do whatever you want in your class. 512 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,240 I don't care. 513 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,240 Flip the iPads for 200 quid. 514 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,240 Get everything. 515 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:15,240 Well, I could reimburse for the 200 quid. 516 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,240 You're still talking to me. 517 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,240 Why are you not buying things? 518 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,240 I just... 519 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,240 Look, I'm not a money man. 520 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,240 I'm the principal. 521 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,240 It's just... 522 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:22,240 The love... 523 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:23,240 The love jimmied. 524 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,240 It felt weird. 525 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,240 I don't... 526 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,240 We haven't talked since. 527 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,240 Look, I don't care what your relationship is, 528 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,240 how you're getting this at discount. 529 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,240 You do what you need to do for the school. 530 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:33,240 I'm... 531 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,240 I'll be honest, I'm not... 532 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,240 I will punch you in your shin. 533 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:36,240 Oh. 534 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,240 I'm allowed to. 535 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:38,240 I've got tenure. 536 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:39,240 They can't fire me. 537 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:40,240 The Board of Governors are stuck with me. 538 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,240 I don't respond well to shouting. 539 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,240 Okay? 540 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,240 I don't respond well to shouting. 541 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,240 I don't respond well to shouting. 542 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:45,240 I don't respond well to shouting. 543 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,240 I don't respond well to shouting. 544 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,240 I don't respond well to shouting. 545 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,240 I don't respond well to shouting. 546 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,240 Okay? 547 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,240 Can you... 548 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:51,240 I just... 549 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,240 I need a moment. 550 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,240 I'm going through a lot right now. 551 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,240 My cousin told me he loved me and it was in a weird way, 552 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,240 and I don't like that. 553 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,240 And I'm suddenly supplying the kids a skill... 554 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,240 One of the students responds well to my teaching? 555 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,240 That's never happened. 556 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,240 Sorry. 557 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:03,240 Sorry. 558 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:04,240 Oh. 559 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,240 Sorry, one second. 560 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,240 One... 561 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:07,240 One second. 562 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,240 Speed up! 563 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,240 Can I get some lasagna? 564 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:10,240 Do you want tickets away? 565 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,240 It's just... 566 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,240 It's... 567 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,240 It's the new season. 568 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:14,240 It's just... 569 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,240 It's the new season. 570 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,240 It's just... 571 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,240 It's the new season. 572 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:18,240 New beans, dude. 573 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,240 That's what we're serving now. 574 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,240 You don't read the sign? 575 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:21,240 Yeah, it just says... 576 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,240 Sorry! 577 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,240 It just says beans. 578 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,240 Sorry, wait. 579 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,040 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 580 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,240 Your cousin is the supplier? 581 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,240 Yeah. 582 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,240 Oh. 583 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:32,240 Yeah. 584 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,240 Wait, wait, wait. 585 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:34,240 Jimmy, we know the way to do that. 586 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:35,240 We can't mix business and pleasure. 587 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:36,240 We can't cross familial boundaries, Jimmy. 588 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:40,240 I was going to say, I feel like family is not a business nor pleasure. 589 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:42,240 You can't give a contract to your family? 590 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:43,240 You can get fired. 591 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:44,240 I can't be touched. 592 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,240 I'm untouchable. 593 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,240 But you, just because the kid's like you... 594 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,240 No, no, I haven't shown a 10-year-old diplomatic immunity, you could shoot a kid? 595 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,240 I could shoot a kid and I have! 596 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:52,240 What? 597 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:53,240 Well, secret special. 598 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,240 Potato, potato. 599 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:55,240 Sorry, who even are you? 600 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,240 I'm seeing you in the cafeteria. 601 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:57,240 She's been here for three weeks, Steve. 602 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,240 Yeah, open your eyes. 603 00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,240 Soon to be Michelin star chef. 604 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:00,240 Excuse you. 605 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,240 Hi, hi, how are you? 606 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,240 I'm fine. 607 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:03,240 I'm fine. 608 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,240 I'm fine. 609 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,240 I'm fine. 610 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:06,240 I'm fine. 611 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,240 I'm fine. 612 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,240 I'm fine. 613 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:09,240 I'm fine. 614 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,240 I'm fine. 615 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:11,240 I'm fine. 616 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,240 I'm fine. 617 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,240 I'm fine. 618 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:14,240 I'm fine. 619 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,240 Hi, hi, sorry, it's me, Miss Johnson from school. 620 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,240 Hello. 621 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:19,240 Thank you so much. 622 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:20,240 Miss Johnson, thank you so much. 623 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:21,240 The kids are just getting off the bus. 624 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,240 You're early. 625 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:23,240 Lovely. 626 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,240 Yeah, just coming in ahead for the tour. 627 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,240 Where do we go? 628 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,240 What do we... 629 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,240 Well, you can come right ahead to the Penning Zoo. 630 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:30,240 You know what? 631 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:33,240 Before we get to the Penning Zoo, Marv, maybe... 632 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,240 You know what's a great place to start? 633 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:39,240 A great place to start is next door in the coffee shop. 634 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,240 It's a wonderful place to start. 635 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,240 It's really nice. 636 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:43,240 It's an aquarium tour. 637 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,240 That doesn't really feel like... 638 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,240 They're children. 639 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,240 They can't really... 640 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:48,240 They're not coffee drinkers. 641 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:53,240 No, but you know they have a wide selection of pastries and baked goods. 642 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,240 Some sugary drinks in them. 643 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,240 We're a no sugar school. 644 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:58,240 We're more modern. 645 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,240 We don't really have the budget for that. 646 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,240 We came for an aquarium tour. 647 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:05,240 The kids are actually probably just ready to come in now. 648 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,240 Yeah, yeah. 649 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:07,240 I'll take them on ahead then. 650 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,240 See some of the fish. 651 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:10,240 The Penning Zoo fish. 652 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:16,240 The famous only petting zoo fish in all of Ireland. 653 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,240 That's right. 654 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,240 The only petting zoo fish in all of Ireland. 655 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:20,240 That's what we're saying. 656 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,240 That's not all of it. 657 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:22,240 I can't wait. 658 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:23,240 They've all been very excited about it. 659 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,240 They've all been looking it up on TikTok. 660 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,240 And now easier to pet than ever. 661 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,240 So they can get right into it. 662 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:30,240 Absolutely. 663 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:34,240 So that's one of the things we're doing here as Aqualife. 664 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,240 Yeah, great. 665 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:42,240 We found that some of the children, they don't enjoy the challenge of a fish with a lot of vigor in them. 666 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,240 It's hard to squeeze them. 667 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,240 They keep, when you try and grasp, they slither out. 668 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,240 They slither out. 669 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:49,240 Because of the water, I guess. 670 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:50,240 That's right. 671 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:51,240 Because the water is very slippy. 672 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:58,240 So what we're saying is we're ready to go and the children will be able to pick up as many fish as they want. 673 00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,240 I'm Murph. This is Phil. 674 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,240 We can answer some of your questions. 675 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:07,240 Phil, I'm not inspired here by your tour guiding ability. 676 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,240 I feel like you're not. 677 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,240 Well, the tour hasn't started. 678 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,240 You're kind of trying to turn me away almost. 679 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,240 And I feel like you're now telling me that there's dead fish. 680 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,240 What? 681 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:15,240 Look, I don't want to fight with you, Miss Johnson. 682 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,240 I don't want to fight with you. 683 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,240 OK? 684 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:18,240 We're very passionate about... 685 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,240 Both decide by fighting words from her. 686 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:21,240 It is fighting words. 687 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,240 And we're very passionate about fish in here in Aqualife. 688 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:24,240 OK? 689 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,240 We are Ireland's only petting zoo fish, local. 690 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,240 Aqualife. 691 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:29,240 Aqualife. 692 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:30,240 OK. 693 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:31,240 OK. 694 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,240 If there were dead fish, we wouldn't tell you that. 695 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,240 If these fish were dead, they wouldn't be out here. 696 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,240 OK. 697 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:38,240 OK. 698 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:39,240 That's fine. 699 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,240 I just... 700 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,240 I'm just going to go in and... 701 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,240 Oh, God! 702 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,240 Roy, one of the kids is there behind. 703 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,240 Don't go near the tank. 704 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,240 He's falling in. 705 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:53,240 Oh, that kid might have killed all the fish. 706 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:00,240 Sorry. 707 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:01,240 Hello, kids. 708 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,240 I'm going to have to take all back all these iPads. 709 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,240 They said, can't miss business and pleasure. 710 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,240 So, come on, hand them back to me. 711 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,240 Go on. 712 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:09,240 All the iPads. 713 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:10,240 No! 714 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,240 But, but, but, but, Adam, you stop screaming. 715 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:13,240 I'm sorry. 716 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,240 Look, lads, I'm sorry. 717 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,240 I think you should have the best education that you need. 718 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,240 My good cousin there who I love dearly, Jimmy, 719 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,240 best teacher you could ever have. 720 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,240 But you know what? 721 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,240 Someone at the top says you can't have the iPads. 722 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,240 But Mr Jimmy's cousin, it's iPad time until 1 o'clock. 723 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:32,240 Look, mate, it's iPad time for me until sundown. 724 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,240 That's what I'm saying. 725 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,240 I've got to get rid of these. 726 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,240 No, we have to go home before then. 727 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,240 I've got to get rid of these back and... 728 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:39,240 Excuse me, language. 729 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:40,240 I've got to get rid of these iPads. 730 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,240 These sounds like the Japanese bananas. 731 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:44,240 He does. 732 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,240 Are you the Japanese banana? 733 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,240 Are you the voice? 734 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,240 Yes, I do some of the voiceover stuff, you know. 735 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:50,240 A bit of voiceover. 736 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,240 When you select the boy icon, that's all me. 737 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,240 That's all me. 738 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,240 I chose the girl icon. 739 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,240 Yeah, well, that would be my sister. 740 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,240 Is she also Mr Jimmy's cousin? 741 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,240 Well, we're not... better not go there. 742 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,240 What is her Jimmy? 743 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:08,240 What is her Jimmy? 744 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:09,240 Sorry, dear, sorry. 745 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,240 I don't speak good Spanish. 746 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:13,240 Nine. 747 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:14,240 Well, yeah. 748 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:15,240 No, there's actually 50 of them. 749 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,240 So you can't even keep nine. 750 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:18,240 So, here. 751 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,240 Everyone, just hand them back, 752 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,240 and I'm sorry about this, kids. 753 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:25,240 Unless anyone knows who we use for 50 Japanese iPads. 754 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,240 My dad could use the iPads. 755 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,240 Oh, what's your dad do? 756 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:31,240 He's a greengrocer, 757 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,240 but he's trying to set up a security system 758 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,240 around the trolley so it camouflages. 759 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,240 He was using the banana button. 760 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:39,240 Right, mate, so... 761 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,240 Fifty bananas in a trolley 762 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,240 just look like 50 bananas in a trolley. 763 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,240 Yeah, what's your name? 764 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:46,240 Cole. 765 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:47,240 Yeah, really, Cole. 766 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,240 Why don't you just pop me down here, 767 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:50,240 introduce me to your dad, please. 768 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,240 Yeah, okay, okay, come on, sir. 769 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:53,240 Let's go. 770 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,240 Okay, bye-bye, Cole. 771 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,240 You're not the only ones back at school this month, kids, 772 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,240 as the 20-year reunion for the class of... 773 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,240 20...20...2004 774 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,240 or 1994 or something. 775 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,240 I don't know, there's a reunion coming on. 776 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:16,240 Don't you worry. 777 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:17,240 I'm gonna make fun of your parents 778 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:18,240 just like I make fun of you. 779 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,240 I've continued. 780 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:20,240 They can't touch me. 781 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,240 As long as I'm not naked, they can't touch me. 782 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:23,240 That's the one thing they said. 783 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,240 They said I could do anything, 784 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,240 as long as I don't get naked anymore. 785 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,240 The fifth-year bullies who were held back 786 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,240 at their own request last year 787 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,240 wished to express their deep regret 788 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,240 at making fun of Ardo Fisher's haircut yesterday. 789 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:43,240 Whilst I have no problem with what they did, 790 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,240 they've released a statement saying, 791 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:49,240 after having time to reflect upon their actions, 792 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:53,240 they realized that having your hair cut by a professional barber 793 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,240 is a luxury that not everyone could afford. 794 00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:00,240 And perhaps it was unfair of them to make fun of Ardo, 795 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,240 and by extension his mother, 796 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:06,240 who was simply trying her best to keep his hair kept and clean. 797 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:10,240 If Ardo would like to find the fifth-year bullies during lunch today, 798 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,240 he will receive a voucher card 799 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,240 that contains vouchers that he can redeem 800 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,240 at any point over the school year, 801 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,240 such as keeping his lunch money today, 802 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,240 and the elusive bodyguard perk 803 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,240 that the fifth-year bullies of course offer to one kid every year, 804 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,240 where they will protect you for an entire week of your choosing 805 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,240 from any other bullies, and even from themselves. 806 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:33,240 You can't protect you from me, 807 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:36,240 because they can't touch me, because I can tame you. 808 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:39,240 So, Ardo, I'm coming for you and your stupid haircut. 809 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,240 I feel very good about this exchange we are doing, 810 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:50,240 but I think with the children in France, 811 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:54,240 they are very excited to come to this confusing place. 812 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,240 They are very excited. They are very excited. 813 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,240 Please do not put my language in front of me, please. 814 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:14,240 For practice, I think I have to speak French with you. 815 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:17,240 Thank you very much. 816 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:28,240 Thank you. 817 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:33,240 Why are you copying my accent? I do not understand. 818 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:35,240 Do you know what he's saying? 819 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,240 I do not understand what you are saying. 820 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:39,240 I think I can translate. 821 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,240 Could you please? Could you please? 822 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,240 Because I am trying, I'm really trying to arrange. 823 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:49,240 He is saying, I would like the library, and my brother is here. 824 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:51,240 Where is your brother? 825 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,240 Pétan, pétan, pétan, pétan. 826 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,240 Parrot, parrot, parrot, English. 827 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,240 Is that what you are saying? I'm allergic to birds. 828 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:07,240 I like football. 829 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,240 You like football? Okay. 830 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,240 And my swimming has a pool. 831 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:35,240 You are swimming as a pool? 832 00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:36,240 Jimmy, he said Jimmy. 833 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:40,240 I heard that, but I do not know this town is full of... 834 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:44,240 I understood a little bit in your bad French that you are cousin fuckers, 835 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,240 but I could guess that from your shitty little town. 836 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:48,240 Merci beaucoup. 837 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:52,240 Hey, I take offense to that. We're here at Dunbarca, and we're very proud. 838 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,240 Mr. Jimmy is very uncomfortable with the relationship they have. 839 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:56,240 Okay. 840 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,240 No, I do not live here. I just am visiting. 841 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:10,240 I am trying to do an exchange and you are being very rude. 842 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:14,240 You are copying my accent. You are trying to speak my language very badly. 843 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:19,240 And admitting to cousin fucking, which is, in my opinion, incest. 844 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:25,240 Well, I think this exchange visit from the French town has been really interesting. 845 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,240 Do you think we could go back to class now? 846 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:33,240 Yes, I think we can, but I cannot get the image of cousin fucking out of my mind. 847 00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,240 Don't worry, it'll follow you everywhere. 848 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,240 The fuck was that? 849 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,240 Au revoir. Bon chance. 850 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:52,240 I don't feel well. I don't feel well, Miss Johnson. 851 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,240 Oh, God. I don't feel well. 852 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,240 Oh, God, he's covered in dead fish. 853 00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:57,240 Well... 854 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:58,240 It smells so bad. 855 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,240 I think it's conclusive. Roy killed all the fish. 856 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,240 What are you talking about? 857 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:07,240 I'm a murderer! I've killed all the fish! 858 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,240 Don't worry, don't worry, kid. 859 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,240 Roy, get out of there. Roy. 860 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:14,240 I promised I wouldn't kill again. 861 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,240 I promised I wouldn't kill. 862 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:20,240 Kid, look at me. You shouldn't judge yourself. Leave that for God. 863 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:21,240 Grace upon you. 864 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,240 Time to finish the job. 865 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,240 Oh, God. No, Roy. 866 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:26,240 Time to finish the job. 867 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:29,240 No, this isn't like the sea monkeys again. It's not like the sea monkeys. 868 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:33,240 Keep telling yourself. No, no, Roy. 869 00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:37,240 God, I'm going to get Mrs Riley. Oh, God. 870 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:38,240 Oh, God. 871 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,240 I'm going to kill every living creature here. 872 00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:52,240 Stop putting them down your pants. Stop eating them. 873 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:56,240 That's where I get my strength, Mrs Johnson. I'm sorry. 874 00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:01,240 I thought I could be a good junior searcher, but I cannot. 875 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,240 That Roy is dumb as a bag of bricks. 876 00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:08,240 Well, I'm right here. That seems very hard. I'm going to kill you next. 877 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,240 Like to see you try. Everyone knows that's not how you get strength from fish. 878 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,240 Yeah. 879 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,240 Did not see that coming. 880 00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,240 You die. I've got you like a fish. 881 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:21,240 Oh, that's a lot of blood. 882 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:25,240 Miss Riley, he's just over here. He's just in the tank there. 883 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:30,240 Roy, gone back to your killing ways. Have you? 884 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:34,240 I'm sorry, Mrs Riley. I couldn't. I couldn't help it. 885 00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,240 I didn't mean to. I'm losing a lot of blood. 886 00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,240 Well, seems you've forgotten your lines, haven't you? 887 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:44,240 I have forgotten my lines. I must not kill with fish. 888 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:47,240 I must not kill with fish. I must not kill with fish. 889 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,240 I'm not a fish. I'm not a fish. 890 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,240 It was highly specific when I gave it to you and I didn't think it would come up again. 891 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:54,240 But here we are. Where did he get the knife? 892 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:55,240 It was just in here. 893 00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:59,240 That's your problem now. You're the ones that have knives and dead fish. 894 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,240 OK, well, let's not. Murphy, you all right? Are you OK? 895 00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:06,240 It's bleeding a lot, but I've been in worse blood. 896 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:10,240 Worse blood. OK, well, Grant, he's fine. 897 00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:15,240 But we are going to insist that you leave and that you don't get a refund. 898 00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:17,240 We're going to insist you don't get a refund, I'm afraid. 899 00:34:17,240 --> 00:34:19,240 Yeah, any time anyone gets stabbed. 900 00:34:19,240 --> 00:34:21,240 Yeah, no stabbing policy. 901 00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:24,240 I think that would be fine, Roy. 902 00:34:24,240 --> 00:34:32,240 Let's just go and leave the two petting zoo men to bleed out. 903 00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:39,240 Yeah, well, Mrs. Johnson, I think you're better off leaving me here. 904 00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:41,240 Please take me. No, Roy. 905 00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:42,240 Oh, God. No. 906 00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:48,240 Yes, I think you're better off leaving me here because we both know now that I've had this taste for blood, 907 00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:51,240 I'm not going to be able to be rehabilitated. 908 00:34:51,240 --> 00:34:53,240 Roy, stop looking for a thing. 909 00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:55,240 We know you just want to have a thing. 910 00:34:55,240 --> 00:34:57,240 I don't need a thing. 911 00:34:57,240 --> 00:35:00,240 We know you're the most normal person in the school. 912 00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:02,240 I'm crazy, Mrs. Johnson. 913 00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:04,240 You just decided I'm going to be a fish killer. 914 00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:08,240 To get attention, go outside now or you won't be getting break. 915 00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:09,240 Well, I'm not doing my homework. 916 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,240 He didn't kill the fish. 917 00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:15,240 Well, that's going to be up to you and your parents later on. 918 00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:16,240 Hold on a second. I killed the fish. 919 00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:17,240 What did you say? 920 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,240 He never killed the fish. 921 00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:21,240 I killed all the fish. 922 00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:23,240 I accidentally took them out. 923 00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:25,240 I suffocated them in air. 924 00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:29,240 And I've been punished by God in the guise of a little boy with a knife. 925 00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:30,240 Don't worry. 926 00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:35,240 We're perfectly aware that you killed your own fish. 927 00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:37,240 Yes, no, we know you're both idiots. 928 00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:38,240 We're leaving. 929 00:35:38,240 --> 00:35:40,240 That's not fair on Phil. 930 00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:41,240 Here at Aqualife. 931 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:42,240 I'm sorry. 932 00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:43,240 That's not fair on Phil. 933 00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:49,240 If you're going to turn around to me and tell me that you had an employee that killed all of the fish under your watch. 934 00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:51,240 And you're not maybe a two. 935 00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:52,240 He was not watching. 936 00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:55,240 OK, I trusted him to clean the tank. 937 00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:58,240 And second of all, you're supposed to be a school teacher. 938 00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:00,240 Two teachers and one child is what I see. 939 00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:01,240 Two teachers and one child. 940 00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:05,240 Seems like a lot of supervision for one murderous child. 941 00:36:05,240 --> 00:36:07,240 Well, we have another teacher outside. 942 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:09,240 We've got a very good ratio of children to teachers. 943 00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:10,240 Three to one. 944 00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:11,240 Yeah. 945 00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:12,240 It's usually the other way around. 946 00:36:12,240 --> 00:36:14,240 There's other children outside. 947 00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:17,240 You goofball. 948 00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:19,240 Well, I will not stand for that sort of language. 949 00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:22,240 You are banned from Sea Life. 950 00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:24,240 You are banned from Aqualife. 951 00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:26,240 You don't even know the name of your own petting zoo. 952 00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:30,240 Our sister company Sea Life doesn't stand for snobbings either. 953 00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:31,240 No. 954 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:34,240 Nor do they agree with us calling them a sister corporation. 955 00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:35,240 No. 956 00:36:35,240 --> 00:36:37,240 They are not affiliated with us at all. 957 00:36:37,240 --> 00:36:39,240 And they've made that blatantly clear. 958 00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:40,240 OK. 959 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:43,240 We've sent many letters asking us to stop. 960 00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:44,240 Well, we're going to head now. 961 00:36:44,240 --> 00:36:46,240 I'm pretty sure we're your only business up to now. 962 00:36:46,240 --> 00:36:48,240 You are a fish petting zoo. 963 00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:49,240 Only for the day. 964 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:50,240 And we're a school. 965 00:36:50,240 --> 00:36:51,240 Yes. 966 00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:52,240 Fair enough. 967 00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:56,240 Well, school, any chance you'd like to donate to our octopus fund? 968 00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:59,240 No, we won't be donating to your octopus school. 969 00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:00,240 It's a fund. 970 00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:01,240 It's not a school. 971 00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:02,240 A school of octopus? 972 00:37:02,240 --> 00:37:03,240 No, no. 973 00:37:03,240 --> 00:37:04,240 We've almost got enough for one leg. 974 00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:07,240 Yeah, we've almost got enough for a single leg of octopus. 975 00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:09,240 We're just buying it so we can eat it. 976 00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:10,240 OK. 977 00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:15,240 Why we're staying around to entertain any more of this is just beyond me. 978 00:37:15,240 --> 00:37:17,240 Well, we're finally... 979 00:37:17,240 --> 00:37:19,240 Three teachers, you can't make a decision. 980 00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:20,240 Too many cooks. 981 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:21,240 OK, fine. 982 00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:23,240 Miss, I found another shark. 983 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:24,240 Yes! 984 00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,240 Sweet. 985 00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:36,240 Why was there a spring in my quiche? 986 00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:39,240 Was there a spring in anyone else's quiche? 987 00:37:39,240 --> 00:37:40,240 It's not a spring. 988 00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:42,240 That looks like a coil. 989 00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:43,240 It's not a spring. It's not a coil. 990 00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:44,240 Oh. 991 00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:45,240 What... what is it? 992 00:37:45,240 --> 00:37:46,240 Kids, come into my classroom. 993 00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:47,240 Oh my god. 994 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,240 Miss, I just want my lunch. 995 00:37:51,240 --> 00:37:52,240 Kids, kids, come, come. 996 00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:53,240 Listen. 997 00:37:53,240 --> 00:37:55,240 Are you gonna give me a new quiche? 998 00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:57,240 I don't have any more quiche. 999 00:37:57,240 --> 00:37:58,240 What I have is the truth. 1000 00:37:58,240 --> 00:38:00,240 I'm hungry. 1001 00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:05,240 The principal has been lying to you for years. 1002 00:38:05,240 --> 00:38:06,240 Well, yeah. 1003 00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:07,240 Which principal? 1004 00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:09,240 The principal of our ladies. 1005 00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:11,240 The one who's gonna turn into dust. 1006 00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:12,240 Oh my god. 1007 00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:13,240 He's gonna turn into ice. 1008 00:38:13,240 --> 00:38:14,240 That's what the best say. 1009 00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:15,240 Oh, sorry. 1010 00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:16,240 He wrote those myths. 1011 00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:22,240 OK, he's been running a long-term MK Ultra-esque situation in this school. 1012 00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:25,240 That spring in your quiche was edible. 1013 00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:26,240 OK, good. 1014 00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:27,240 You should eat it. 1015 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:28,240 Did you eat the spring? 1016 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:29,240 Yeah. 1017 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:30,240 Oh, it went straight through mine. 1018 00:38:30,240 --> 00:38:32,240 Speed up! 1019 00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:33,240 OK, kids, I'm gonna get you some water. 1020 00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:35,240 This is Mr. Jimmy's cousin. 1021 00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:37,240 Just went straight through mine. 1022 00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:38,240 And sometimes... 1023 00:38:38,240 --> 00:38:39,240 Sorry, what's your name there, miss? 1024 00:38:39,240 --> 00:38:40,240 Mrs. Lettrem. 1025 00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:41,240 Mrs. Lettrem, really? 1026 00:38:41,240 --> 00:38:46,240 So, you know, I sometimes say to myself, look, kids, they're not for me. 1027 00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,240 I don't want any. 1028 00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:48,240 I don't want any for myself. 1029 00:38:48,240 --> 00:38:51,240 But hanging out with these guys with Cole and... 1030 00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:52,240 What's your name? 1031 00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:53,240 Michelle. 1032 00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:54,240 Michelle. 1033 00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:55,240 Gosh, they are class crap. 1034 00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:58,240 Cole's gonna be hooking me up with his dad later, but I'm interested in what you have to say. 1035 00:38:58,240 --> 00:39:00,240 Mr. Jimmy's cousin, sir. 1036 00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:01,240 Yeah, here, call me Cous. 1037 00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:02,240 Cous, if I may? 1038 00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:03,240 Or J. Cous, whatever. 1039 00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:07,240 I love the understanding that you're a technology connoisseur. 1040 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:10,240 Yeah, well, call me a consultant sometimes, they do. 1041 00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:16,240 Could you do me a favor and look under the oven up there? 1042 00:39:16,240 --> 00:39:21,240 Oh, well, it looks like you got a little bit of a... 1043 00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:23,240 Bit of a microphone here. 1044 00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:24,240 Snore, Bob. 1045 00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:25,240 Snore. 1046 00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:29,240 And if you turned it right up to 180, it would start beeping. 1047 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:30,240 That's what I'd say. 1048 00:39:30,240 --> 00:39:32,240 That's exactly what it's been doing. 1049 00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:36,240 It's not really much of a beep, it's more of a wheeze, to be fair. 1050 00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:38,240 I thought my hearing aids were playing up, but no. 1051 00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:40,240 Okay, can you trace this back to its source? 1052 00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:42,240 Oh, yeah, of course I can. 1053 00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:44,240 Who are you? 1054 00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:46,240 Oh! 1055 00:39:46,240 --> 00:39:52,240 Oi, now, don't call me Houdini, or whoever the guy is that Benedict Cumberdack plays. 1056 00:39:52,240 --> 00:39:53,240 I thought you were Cous. 1057 00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:56,240 No, well, I'm just saying, like, just pop reference for the kids. 1058 00:39:56,240 --> 00:39:58,240 Don't be calling me Houdini. 1059 00:39:58,240 --> 00:40:00,240 But I think it's your principal. 1060 00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:02,240 That's what I think it is. 1061 00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:04,240 Fucking egg blown my ear out! 1062 00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:06,240 Yeah, I really think it's the principal. 1063 00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:18,240 Okay, class, so to make baguette, the first thing you need to mix together is the flour and the water. 1064 00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:20,240 Yes, it is very important. 1065 00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:23,240 Yes, I've eaten my bread. 1066 00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:25,240 We haven't cooked it yet. 1067 00:40:25,240 --> 00:40:26,240 I brought my own. 1068 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,240 That is just the yeast. 1069 00:40:28,240 --> 00:40:32,240 I didn't think I was going to be able to make the bread, so I just brought a baguette, and I've eaten it. 1070 00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:34,240 So you bought the baguette, you didn't make the baguette at home. 1071 00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:35,240 No, no. 1072 00:40:35,240 --> 00:40:36,240 Was it dry? 1073 00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:37,240 I ate my yeast. 1074 00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:38,240 Yeah. 1075 00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:39,240 You ate the yeast? 1076 00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:41,240 Yeah, a little turd end to bread on my tum-tum. 1077 00:40:41,240 --> 00:40:42,240 Oh my goodness. 1078 00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:45,240 If you eat the flour and the water and the butter as well, then yes. 1079 00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:46,240 Yes, I will. 1080 00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:47,240 Are these your students? 1081 00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:49,240 Yes, these are my best students. 1082 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,240 Oh my goodness. 1083 00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:52,240 Do not... 1084 00:40:52,240 --> 00:40:53,240 Keep going. 1085 00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:54,240 This is so bad. 1086 00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:55,240 Terrible. 1087 00:40:55,240 --> 00:40:58,240 What are you teaching them in France then? 1088 00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:02,240 Well, genuinely, I have a question for you that I would love the answer to. 1089 00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:03,240 Please, please. 1090 00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:05,240 Do you know a soda bread? 1091 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:06,240 Yes. 1092 00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:07,240 Why is it fizzy? 1093 00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:08,240 Huh? 1094 00:41:08,240 --> 00:41:09,240 Why is it fizzy? 1095 00:41:09,240 --> 00:41:11,240 Well, you make it with soda. 1096 00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:18,240 But I've never looked at a gorgeous French baguette and thought, do you know this needs a soda stream? 1097 00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:21,240 I've never wanted to soda stream my baguette. 1098 00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:22,240 That is such a good point. 1099 00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:23,240 We should get the soda stream out. 1100 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:25,240 Cole, don't finish swallowing yet. 1101 00:41:25,240 --> 00:41:26,240 Do not do that. 1102 00:41:26,240 --> 00:41:27,240 Don't finish swallowing yet. 1103 00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:29,240 Oh my god. 1104 00:41:29,240 --> 00:41:31,240 This child is foaming at the mouth. 1105 00:41:31,240 --> 00:41:32,240 And that's good. 1106 00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:34,240 It is not good. 1107 00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:37,240 Exactly, I'm going to form the mouth to bread in the tummy. 1108 00:41:37,240 --> 00:41:38,240 Exactly. 1109 00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:39,240 Oh my goodness. 1110 00:41:39,240 --> 00:41:40,240 He's making bread. 1111 00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:42,240 Do you want me to go buy you another baguette? 1112 00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:43,240 No. 1113 00:41:43,240 --> 00:41:46,240 I think bread is not the answer to too much bread. 1114 00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:48,240 Cole's going to make enough baguettes for the both of us. 1115 00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:49,240 What? 1116 00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:51,240 You're going to eat the baguette from his stomach? 1117 00:41:51,240 --> 00:41:53,240 Oh, wouldn't you? 1118 00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:56,240 You're going to tie me onto a spinning wheel and turn me. 1119 00:41:56,240 --> 00:41:58,240 Is that legal here? 1120 00:41:58,240 --> 00:41:59,240 Yeah. 1121 00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:00,240 Very much so. 1122 00:42:05,240 --> 00:42:07,240 Right, I'm ready, I'm ready. 1123 00:42:07,240 --> 00:42:12,240 Wave the flag, I am the fastest kid in school and I'm going to win. 1124 00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:14,240 So wave it, I'm going to run. 1125 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,240 I'm going to run faster. 1126 00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:18,240 It's come to this, principal. 1127 00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:21,240 Do you know you're about to get caught? 1128 00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:23,240 You can never take me down, I've got tenure. 1129 00:42:23,240 --> 00:42:28,240 I'm not here to take you down, I'm here to take the fall for you. 1130 00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:36,240 You've been an honorable vice principal and I anticipated this or didn't and already made you take the fall. 1131 00:42:36,240 --> 00:42:42,240 That's okay, that was part of my duty when I was sworn in to be your vice principal. 1132 00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:44,240 Yeah, will you take the fall for me? 1133 00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:46,240 I will take the fall for you. 1134 00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:47,240 On 16 different fronts. 1135 00:42:47,240 --> 00:42:48,240 That is my job. 1136 00:42:48,240 --> 00:42:54,240 Someday I'm going to turn to Ash and if you're out of prison by then, you can take over. 1137 00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:56,240 It'll be magic, it'll be beautiful. 1138 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:59,240 But don't worry, because I'll be fine. 1139 00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:10,240 Okay, give me your clothes, give me your hair and let me deal with...cause. 1140 00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:13,240 The one thing I'm not allowed to do is streak through the school. 1141 00:43:13,240 --> 00:43:15,240 They said that was my one thing. 1142 00:43:15,240 --> 00:43:17,240 It's okay, if you're... 1143 00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:21,240 They said just because I run at ankle height while I'm streaking, it's still streaking. 1144 00:43:21,240 --> 00:43:24,240 It's okay if it's an escape, you're allowed to do it when you're escaping. 1145 00:43:24,240 --> 00:43:27,240 No, that was my logic, but they said no. 1146 00:43:27,240 --> 00:43:29,240 They said you can't do it again. 1147 00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:33,240 It doesn't make any sense if someone needs to escape in the nude. 1148 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:34,240 Well, how are they going to do it? 1149 00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:49,240 Well, they have to stay in the nude, it's the only safe thing. 1150 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:52,240 Fuck me, that lad's dark naked. 1151 00:43:52,240 --> 00:43:56,240 You're here to see me, the principal. 1152 00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:58,240 How are you doing there, Mr. Principal? 1153 00:43:58,240 --> 00:44:00,240 Yeah, I'm alright. 1154 00:44:00,240 --> 00:44:05,240 Look, I've got nothing in this beef, but this teacher here thinks you've been spying on her. 1155 00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:07,240 This is Mr. Jimmy's cousin. 1156 00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:09,240 Jack Cawse, if you want to say. 1157 00:44:09,240 --> 00:44:13,240 I've heard you've been providing the school with a lot of good things. 1158 00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:18,240 Well, it was until you came up with the PC bergrade saying you can't mix business and pleasure. 1159 00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:23,240 Well, I just want to say, loud and clear, that I've not put any microphones in any of the ovens 1160 00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:26,240 and I haven't been spying on anybody. 1161 00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:31,240 And everything I've done has been legal and above board. 1162 00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:36,240 Sorry, this is really embarrassing. The microphone's a bit big now. Could you say it louder? 1163 00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:44,240 Yeah, okay. So, the micro- I didn't put any microphones into the- into the school. 1164 00:44:44,240 --> 00:44:45,240 Perfect. 1165 00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:50,240 And I haven't done anything illegal and, Jack Cawse, you cannot arrest me. 1166 00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:52,240 What is your name? 1167 00:44:52,240 --> 00:44:54,240 The principal. 1168 00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:57,240 Yes, now say principal Brown. 1169 00:44:57,240 --> 00:44:59,240 I'm principal Brown. 1170 00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:00,240 There we go. 1171 00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:09,240 Well, look, that sounds all well and good, but if you press here, boy, apple, apple, banana, girl, and then other, 1172 00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:17,240 I've got a few recordings. Now, when these iPads were sitting in your office, and they might say different, let's press play. 1173 00:45:17,240 --> 00:45:24,240 I have all the money, have all the money in the world. I took it all from the cafeteria. They only serve beans. 1174 00:45:24,240 --> 00:45:29,240 I'd say so. I can do whatever I want. I can shoot a child. I've shot a child. I can do it again. 1175 00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:33,240 They said I can't streak. That's the one thing I'm not allowed to do. But I can shoot a child. 1176 00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:36,240 They can't stop me unless I'm naked. So I'm not going to be naked when I do it. 1177 00:45:36,240 --> 00:45:40,240 No one can stop me unless I'm naked. 1178 00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:44,240 That was me. 1179 00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:49,240 Okay, well, look, I think there's a few things going on there, but the main thing is you're stark naked right now. 1180 00:45:49,240 --> 00:45:51,240 Yeah, I am. 1181 00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:54,240 And that's your kryptonite. And I've got you. 1182 00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:55,240 Oh. 1183 00:45:55,240 --> 00:45:58,240 You should be ashamed of yourself, principal Brown. 1184 00:45:58,240 --> 00:46:08,240 Todd, Todd, further Todd. I guess as Vice Principal Looge, I shall become Acting Principal then. 1185 00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:15,240 As Vice Principal Looge, but you know, I'll just, it's probably easier if I also go as Principal Brown. 1186 00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:21,240 I'll go by Principal Brown. That actually seems an armady of despair and retribution and a lot of money. 1187 00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:26,240 You don't have to change the stationery and posters around the school, so that's that then. 1188 00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:33,240 Thank goodness Principal Brown has been stopped by Jay Coss, and that Principal Brown will reign in his stead. 1189 00:46:33,240 --> 00:46:36,240 Good job, everyone. 1190 00:46:36,240 --> 00:46:42,240 Somebody escort Jay Coss off the premises. He never, he never filled out a visitor's form. 1191 00:46:42,240 --> 00:46:48,240 Back to Dunbracken is created, produced and edited by Conneth McVeigh. 1192 00:46:48,240 --> 00:46:54,240 For more information on the podcast, you can follow us at DunbrackenPod on Instagram. 1193 00:46:54,240 --> 00:47:02,240 There were a hell of a lot of people in this episode. Please check the show notes for the full cast list. 1194 00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:11,240 The opening and closing music was created by Conor Mallon, and you can check out his entire album, Unearthed, on Spotify now. 1195 00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:33,240 Thank you for listening. We look forward to welcoming you back to Dunbracken very soon.