1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,480 I put peanut butter on Janice's hair to get the gum out but it's made it a lot worse and I don't know. 2 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:15,280 I'm sorry I'll get the ice cream. Oh perfect. Put the ice cream on there and then that will 3 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:19,840 free the peanut butter. Yeah then we get the peanut butter. We still have the gum. We still 4 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:25,040 have the gum but if we can get the peanut butter. We can get back to square one. Yeah. She really 5 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:30,080 doesn't want us to shave the hair but. Well could she grow it out further and then it's easier to 6 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:35,520 cut out? Potentially but I don't think she'd like that. She loves her braids. Okay okay. Apparently 7 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,760 the kids will bully her. I mean they were bullying her beforehand. Yeah well that's why. Why would 8 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:44,640 the gum change that? That's true yeah maybe she just needs to toughen up. Maybe this will be if 9 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:50,080 she has gum on her hair they won't focus on her other attributes. Okay I've got a plan. Okay I'm 10 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:56,480 gonna get a wrench. Yes. I'm gonna hide the kid. No no an adult can't hit her kid but I can give it 11 00:00:56,480 --> 00:01:02,000 to her. She can hit a kid. Yeah. She's not gonna get bullied. Then she's like who else wants some? 12 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:08,320 Yeah yeah that's what I did. Yeah. That's how we became friends. Yeah you beat up my dad. Yeah an 13 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:14,560 adult can beat up a kid but a kid no all the way around with a kid can beat up an adult. Yeah we 14 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:21,360 need to get our story straight. But the adult can't fight back. For sure an adult cannot fight back. 15 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:48,880 They have to tank it. Worst day of my life when I turned 18. Parent teacher meetings changed. 16 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,560 Welcome back to Dunbracken. 17 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:07,360 What do you what do you mean you want to take the truck? This is an antique. This is a big antique. 18 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:14,800 Just take it in your shop. Give me money for it and I'll leave you be. Sir there's specific dedicated 19 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:20,400 car trading. I know. We are not car trading. I understand that. Trust me I understand. I've tried 20 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:26,080 I've went to the dedicated places and they say no. So we're your last ditch resort. Last ditch resort 21 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:31,680 please I really desperately need the money. Okay well to me it just looks like a normal truck. 22 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:38,640 Ah that's where you're wrong. It was born in 1982. Ask him about the use of the word born. 23 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,360 I was gonna ask him about the use of the word. Sorry you're doing a great job. No it's it's it's 24 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:49,360 okay. I was just a bit I was a bit of gawg. I was a bit of gassed. Um you're used to the word born 25 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:58,720 there. What sort of birth did the truck have? Ah well there was a bridge and a tunnel and from the 26 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:07,200 bridge it went into the tunnel and out of the tunnel one crisp summer day in 1982 came this brand 27 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:16,640 new crying food truck. Screaming. Screaming this food truck came out. Did you witness this? I did 28 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:25,920 not but consumer reports from different food truck goers revealed quite a storied history for this. 29 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:30,560 Well if you can produce a birth certificate for the truck we might have something there but 30 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:36,960 otherwise it's just a plain old truck. Who was driving the truck? At the time of the conception 31 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:41,520 or the time of the birth? I presume the truck didn't exist at the time of conception so the time 32 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:48,080 of birth yeah at the time of birth it came out no driver. I don't appreciate this backseat shop 33 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:53,280 assistant you're doing. I'm clearly dealing with this customer. But to be fair they seem more 34 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:59,600 willing and interested in the truck than you so I would like to deal I think with you both. This 35 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:07,120 is why we make such a good team because people bring in strange enchanted objects. Yeah I never 36 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:13,680 said enchanted. You've enchanted me sir. Oh thank you. William it's not appropriate. I'm sorry. 37 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:21,680 Ah so it's a good pawn bad con. We're not good and bad people we're just just business partners. 38 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:28,320 And we have different outlooks. I think. Much like this truck has served so many different 39 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:38,640 outlooks. So many different cultures have been used abused taken over assimilated in this food 40 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:44,640 truck. There was Mexican food in it there was Indian food there's been Chinese every culture 41 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:51,680 you can imagine there's been food in this truck. Always a white man cooking it but nevertheless 42 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:58,080 he tried his best. How do you know all this? Again it's had a storied past and many of the 43 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:06,400 customers say ah this is the old Chinese truck. I was like I didn't know this tell me more. They 44 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:15,840 said in a crisp winter day. Gary I'm out of my depth. Crisp winter day in 1942. William we're 45 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:20,640 his last ditch effort. Think of how many other salespeople have heard this story. No it's 46 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:27,360 happening again. I'm becoming too enchanted. This is how I purchase items that are quite mundane. 47 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:32,160 Just think this is a very large item and we don't have the facility space to store it. You don't 48 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:37,040 have the facility space at our apartment to store it. I don't have the mental capacity to deal with 49 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:41,840 this. And frankly the money because I see your payroll. We don't have to talk about the money 50 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:49,280 now. We've got a customer. A crisp winter day in 1942. That's before the birth. A soldier in the 51 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:56,400 war thought about the next best man he could ever have. Which side? William. Which side sir? He was 52 00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:04,800 Russian. Okay. A Russian man. William do you want this truck? I want to know why an object 53 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:16,240 can become so storied. That Russian man. Defected. So he defected to the Nazis. Oh yeah so he went 54 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:23,520 to the Nazis. So William Nazi memorabilia is worth a lot of money. Because the allied's food just 55 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:28,320 wasn't good enough. He said you know what I want. Are you trying to rationalize this with yourself? 56 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:33,120 I'm just saying. Some better food. See my payroll. Yeah and what I was gonna say just one moment. 57 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:38,160 Um do you want this because we can price it at something that's within your range. 58 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:45,440 Why? You don't have facilities for this. You don't have storage space. But if you want me to low 59 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:56,640 ball. That man was Vladimir Kukrov. The father of modern food trucks. $2,000. Oh a different currency. 60 00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:02,720 They can't track me using that. Why would they track you? Who are you? I can't go into my story 61 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:08,880 as enchanting and interesting as it might be. You also have to explain how the how Alexander 62 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:15,280 Vladimir Kukrov is related to the truck at all. He was the father of modern food trucks. 63 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:21,200 Because he wanted better food and he knew that the allied scientists could never provide a mobile 64 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:27,760 food service. Was he present for the birth then? He was not. He died. As the father? Before he ever saw his first 65 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:34,080 baby. So how is he relevant? He's the father. It's his seat. It was his ideas. A seedling of an idea 66 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:39,200 that he went to the German scientists with. To the Nazi scientists. And you know what they said? 67 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:45,040 You're crazy Kukrov. They wouldn't do it. They wouldn't put a bridge in a tunnel? They wouldn't 68 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:50,080 put a bridge in a tunnel? They wouldn't do either of those things? He said these are the two elements 69 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:56,000 you need for the best food truck in the world. Because a food truck only becomes a food truck 70 00:07:56,000 --> 00:08:04,640 once it goes over a tunnel and under a bridge. I need you to stay and tell me stories. No. 71 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:10,240 You have those three other customers still ambling around. You still need to finish their stories 72 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:16,960 first. You can't just kidnap customers for their stories. I'm not kidnapping anyone. I'm renting 73 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:26,080 their freedom. And then in 1794 my great great great grandfather went to Vietnam. This person 74 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:30,080 sounds crazy. I don't know what they're talking about. Okay I've looked up this I've looked up 75 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:34,560 this Vladimir guy on Wikipedia and all of this is there. Vladimir Kukrov. Yeah. You don't need to 76 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:39,120 keep him. He died. You can just install Wikipedia on your phone. He died before getting to see 77 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:44,320 the first food truck. William do you want me to install Wikipedia on your phone? Listen I could 78 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:49,120 have Wikipedia on my phone and I'd have all the knowledge in the world but I wouldn't have this 79 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:55,120 man's delightful company. The Nazi scientists threw out his blueprints and you know who found them? 80 00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:01,840 A little orphan boy. A street urchin on the streets of London. That's right they threw them out 81 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:07,440 with bombs. They just threw them all out expecting the blueprints for this modern food truck to be 82 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:12,640 destroyed but it didn't get destroyed because they didn't bomb all of London. He's lost me. And a 83 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:18,720 little street urchin. He's lost me now. It just doesn't seem realistic now. What? A little orphan 84 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:24,320 rags to riches derivative. Don't worry. Hey no don't worry because he found them but was 85 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:30,960 immediately set upon by three angry men who forced him to give them up and you know who those three 86 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:39,920 men were? No one does. They wanted to stay anonymous as they created the first food truck. William are 87 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:45,920 you still interested in the truck? No. Are you interested in the man? Is the enchantment gone? 88 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:52,080 The enchantment's gone. Are you de-chanted by this man? De-chanted? Dis-chanted? I'll take the 2000s 89 00:09:52,080 --> 00:10:02,080 on the table still right? No no no no. I'm sorry. In 2006. Please stop. I'm really sorry sir. My 90 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:10,720 father died. Oh no a different kind of story. Passing this food truck to my brother who lost 91 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:18,560 the business. My father's own food truck was lost and impounded for six years growing rusty 92 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:25,520 every day. It's a terrible metal outlay on it. Sir um I think we're going to ask you to reverse 93 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:34,480 the truck out of the shop now. I can't. I used up my last bit of petrol. Why does this keep happening? 94 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:44,080 Yeah I tell people I was in the Swiss army. I have the knife to prove it. They don't ask too 95 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:50,480 many more questions after that. They tend to believe me. I like to tell them that even though 96 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:58,880 the Swiss are peacekeeping people they are vicious underneath. They are vicious. They are vicious. 97 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:07,040 They are peacekeeping people. They are vicious underneath. You know how much blood I've had on 98 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:14,320 my knife I said to them? So much that I can't get it clean anymore. It's permanently stained. 99 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:23,040 I've killed dozens. At least that's what I tell them. I haven't killed a single person before. 100 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:32,160 No no. I've been to Switzerland. Yeah the knife's from there. Tried to open a bank account. Didn't 101 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:40,640 have enough money but they gave me this knife to say sorry. Kind folk up there. Tried speaking to 102 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:45,440 a couple of them. Their English is very good but they don't want to talk to me. That's for sure. 103 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:53,600 But yeah. Yeah. I went around the Swiss countryside trying to make as many friends as I could. 104 00:11:54,320 --> 00:12:01,840 I came back with less than ever before. It's very cold out there. No one really told me that. 105 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:08,960 I had hoped that once I got my bank account set up that you know I'd be able to buy a coat or so. 106 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:15,520 But uh whenever I wasn't able to set up my account well I had no money. All I had was that knife and 107 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:22,240 I tried to trade it. But it turns out a lot of people in Switzerland have that knife. So it's 108 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:31,280 not really worth that much. And yes at one point I did try to enter the army but I mean why would 109 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:38,240 they let someone like me in? I'm not from there. As much as I told them I will offer my body up 110 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:44,960 I will put it on the line. They said your body is worthless to us. Do you know how it feels to be 111 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:51,280 told that your body is worthless? Yeah ever since that day I've been trying to prove myself. That's 112 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:56,320 why I tell people that I was in the army. You know you look at me and think that guy's not a killing 113 00:12:56,320 --> 00:13:02,240 machine. Once I tell them I was in the army they think god he must have killed hundreds. 114 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:10,160 Yeah people look at me and uh well they do question. They do question what I get up to at night 115 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:14,000 whenever I flick on that neon sign. Open for business. Yeah. 116 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:30,240 Ever since the Swiss army told me my body was worthless I've been proving them wrong. 117 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:42,880 Floor two please. Hey just press it yourself. Oh it's just that you're closer. Yeah I don't work 118 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:47,440 here it's just. I know I was just asking to be polite. I had this whole conversation with him. 119 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:52,880 He just won't press. I'm just saying. What floor were you going to? Four. It's self. Yeah I know 120 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:57,680 I'm beside it but it's. I mean don't stand beside the numbers. It's self service. It is self service 121 00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,880 but don't stand right beside it and block everyone else if you're not going to press the thing. It's 122 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:05,280 all upset. We've had this conversation. I'm not blocking it. I'm just standing here. There's no 123 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:09,760 like reserved standing zone in the elevator. I can stand in whatever part of the elevator. 124 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:14,640 It's an unwritten rule that if you're there like it's it's not much of a thing to just press the 125 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:18,800 button. It's not. I mean it's not my floor. Why am I going to press it? All right well I'm going 126 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:26,400 to press it here too. Hold on. Does it light up? It usually does yeah. Oh it's not. It's not working. 127 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:30,400 You can. I can go to three and then go down. And go down. Hold on that's not. That's good 128 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:34,960 obvious. That's not working. I'm writing off. Now that I think about it four didn't actually light 129 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:43,120 up either. Well it's only two stories. I'll just walk. Yeah. The door isn't. That's not opening. 130 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:49,200 Are we. Are we stuck in here? I don't work here. Why are you asking me? Look it's not a thing about. 131 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:53,280 I'm not an elevator maintenance personnel technician. Well what floor were you going to? 132 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:58,000 I work on five. So you were going to five. We're not going anywhere now. Well I'm going to press 133 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:02,800 the emergency button. Oh you do press buttons. Oh. That's not working either. So the emergency 134 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:07,120 button. The button that you press in emergencies isn't working. That's meant to ring the man. To 135 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:12,400 help the elevator technician I want to call him. I don't know. Groups. Does anyone have any service 136 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:17,760 in their phone? I left my phone at my desk. I have mine here but it's. No there's no service. 137 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:22,240 Seems odd because we're still in the building. I only have a work phone but I'm not sure if this 138 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:27,200 is a work activity so better not. I think it's an emergency. You're in work. Are you being paid 139 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:32,320 right now? Not until I'm on level five. Would they shout at you for using your phone? Can you not just 140 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:38,160 use your phone? Well I'm on lunch from whenever I leave my desk to whenever I get back to my desk 141 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:42,240 so while I'm still in the elevator technically I'm still on lunch. So you're losing money the 142 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:48,320 longer this day. So you're you're rewarded if you use your phone here. Well no because I shouldn't 143 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:52,240 be using the phone during my lunch. But there's an incentive. Because then it would be work time. 144 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:56,480 But there's an incentive for you to get out of here as quick as possible. Can you just even 145 00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:01,120 check the phone for. Well yeah the phone has signal. The phone has signal. What I'm saying is. 146 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:05,280 Fuck me just use the phone. Ring someone. We're trapped. What if you want to stay. What happens 147 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,320 if we stay here overnight? Are you on lunch the whole day? I'm not staying here overnight. 148 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:13,680 Well I'd probably get written up for it because I have to be back by two o'clock. 149 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:19,120 So you've got half an hour. Yeah so you know. We're doing okay. No we're. Ring the fucking elevator. 150 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:24,240 It's not a work activity. It is a work. You're trying to get to work. Getting to work is a work 151 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:29,200 activity. Getting to work is your own responsibility. Not whenever it's the work elevator that 152 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:34,480 doesn't work. These are different companies. I understand yes it's the elevator in the building. 153 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:39,120 Every floor is a different company. Sure. It's starting to get very hot and. It is. 154 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:46,240 I'm starting to freak out a wee bit. I had. I got a large drink at lunch. So I don't 155 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:49,760 know how long I have. And all I'm saying is just ring your fucking phone. 156 00:16:49,760 --> 00:17:05,440 Now I'm glad we have a quorum going but we currently need to nominate someone to be chair. 157 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,320 Can anyone want to volunteer? Do they need to be in this room? 158 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:17,840 To volunteer? I mean they can Skype in. Yeah. Who are you thinking of? Who are you thinking of? 159 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:23,200 No I'm just asking. Is the pressure on me to have to come up with someone? 160 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:28,880 I'm hoping you would volunteer. Look someone needs to volunteer and then someone can second. 161 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:33,520 I'm just hoping you would volunteer. You would be great at it. Yeah but you're taking the lead on 162 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:38,880 all of this. Yeah so you don't have to do much. I can do. I can. Look if I go for chair and I get 163 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:43,920 chair. Yeah. You're not going to like fuck me over right? You're not going to leave me in the lurch. 164 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:47,440 No I'm going to second it don't worry. Yeah no that's what I mean. You don't want to be 165 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:53,520 second? No I'll if I'm chair. Yeah. Do I have to do the duties myself? No I'll do them for you. 166 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:57,680 You just need another signature and documents. Oh yeah okay. We just need enough for quorum really. 167 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:05,920 I put myself forward as chair. Anyone want to second it? I'd like to veto it. 168 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:11,280 Yeah you can't veto it. You're biased. I just wanted to give it some contention. 169 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:20,080 It's not needed. Not for this one but I would like to suggest my son for maybe 170 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:28,080 10 years down the line. I'm pretty hopeful. Pretty hopeful he's got strong leader genetics. 171 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:36,800 He's eight but when he's 18 I can see him commanding a legion. I mean if it's the genetics 172 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:43,840 why wouldn't you stand? Oh it's from my wife's genetics. I'm weak. I mean fair enough. Yeah. 173 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:49,440 But is that okay 10 years down the line? Oh we can't lock that in now. The chair could make 174 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:54,080 a decision like that but I'm not the chair. We may not have voting rights 10 years from now so. 175 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:58,240 Okay well um do you want to give it to him now? I'm up for it but I just kind of wanted to let him 176 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:02,800 experience it. I'll second it yeah. Yeah I'll second it. He's eight he's great he's never late. 177 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:07,600 There we go second it. We've got a chair that's great. Oh wow. Yeah that was much easier. 178 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:11,440 Oh I was kind of you just kind of got me worked up. I was I was looking forward to it. 179 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,920 I was thinking that I could change my email signature. You can do that anyway. I'm not gonna 180 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:20,480 you can say I support the eight-year-old. No I wanted to say that I was chair. 181 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:25,520 I could have changed my LinkedIn. I mean if you if you can you second me as a skill on LinkedIn 182 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:31,440 as chair? I'm not on LinkedIn. Neither is uh is my son so he couldn't do it. He's too young for that 183 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:36,320 site. Trying to get him a Bible though because he's got some really good headshots. Got him a 184 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:42,400 little tux. Very expensive. Satin. I'm looking forward to working with him. Oh yeah he's great. 185 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:50,720 He's great. Why? He tells me what to do. Clean the dishes. All right. Do my homework. Okay calm down. 186 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:55,360 I'm not going to do my homework. Is that what he's feeling? I thought he did quite good in that essay on 187 00:19:55,360 --> 00:20:00,720 Marmalade. I mean he seemed very frustrated by his result. Well I guess it was right about your 188 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:05,200 favorite food. His favorite food's Marmalade. My favorite food not Marmalade. I tried my best. 189 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:11,040 Like he kind of dictated some points to me but then he he got distracted by this like kite that 190 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:15,200 was flying outside so he went outside so I just kind of finished up the rest. I mean I appreciated 191 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:19,600 his advice on the kite and he gave me some good business advice. Yeah so just make sure if like 192 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:25,440 you're chairing a meeting no kites. So that seems reasonable. So is the loophole that he's putting 193 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:30,720 his son forward for him to do his son's work so that he can be chair? No no the son's the chair. 194 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:35,600 Mmm yeah. You are voted just don't be a sore loser. I didn't vote. Yeah you know. I didn't vote for 195 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:40,080 the son. No you nominated. Why not? Because she was one of the nominations. Yeah well you can change 196 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:44,800 your mind. You can change your mind. No I want to be. He's not going to be happy. I changed my mind 197 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:49,040 from not wanting to be chair. I want to be the chair now. Vote for him. He'll hurt you. I'm doing 198 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:58,000 this for you now. He'll hurt me. He cracks a mean whip. He cracks a mean whip. No literally. Okay I'm 199 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:04,720 gonna permission to take off my shirt? No. No. Deny it. Well it's okay because my shirt is torn 200 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:11,040 in the back. Cat of nine tails. Oh god. Did that himself yeah. Can we help you in any way? Is this 201 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:15,440 a crime for help? No no I think it's. Sorry sorry um you're not the chair you don't get to make 202 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:20,160 offers like that. You can offer to help on your own free time but not as part of the board. Jill 203 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:26,080 I don't think his son is gonna help him out. He's gonna help us out. Oh yeah he's a strong leader. 204 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:32,000 Look at that. That's no nonsense. I reckon with that kind of attitude we can get 10 to 15 percent 205 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:37,600 of our gardening bill and those teenagers they're not gonna be drinking in the garden anymore. Do 206 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:43,200 bear in mind it is an eight-year-old. Yeah. Yeah so we can't. He's a great year old. Yeah sure. So he 207 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:48,000 can't be trialed as an adult. Well there's that but I'm also thinking do we give him the full 208 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:53,760 jurisdiction that he would have as an adult chair? Yeah. More of a high seat role you know. Uh he's 209 00:21:53,760 --> 00:22:01,600 not a baby. Okay booster like in the cinema. Okay um I have to ask do you think it's a literal chair? 210 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,320 Is that why you wanted it? Do you want a nice chair? Do you want something with a throne? 211 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:12,400 Is there a throne though? Because we take it. Was there a chair? No no this is this is all this is 212 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:17,200 the position of a chair. So your son's wouldn't be interested? He'd be interested but if a throne was 213 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:22,080 going I could see him in his little satin suit. I mean I talked to him and he quite clearly knows 214 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:26,960 what the role of a chair is. I'm sorry I'm already seen far into the future where your son's trying 215 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:32,080 to get the dry cleaning bill through us like trying to comp that. I don't want this feels like a slippery 216 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:38,400 slope. He should be allowed to have that comp. He's putting wet blood and tears into his job. He's putting your 217 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:42,800 blood into this. Look if he if he can get 400 pounds of our gardening bills annually I don't 218 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:50,400 mind paying for dry cleaning. You'll pay for dry cleaning? No garden stuff. Look if he's a failure 219 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:56,240 then we just vote him out and if he commits criminal acts I don't know about that. Why would we 220 00:22:56,240 --> 00:23:00,960 monitor him? As long as you back me up and court him. Do you have any more children? Um yeah but 221 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:05,200 they're not worth we're all talking about. Yeah I'll back you up. Okay let's feed him. No not right 222 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:09,920 now. Whenever he's once he messes up. No I don't know I'm getting cold feet. I kind of want my chair 223 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:15,040 roll back. You're gonna get whipped. Sorry back you never had it. You were nominated. Yeah I was so 224 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:20,720 close. So close. I could smell it. I could smell the sweat on the cushions. Not a literal chair. 225 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:27,840 I know. You keep looking at that big office chair in the corner this leather and 226 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:34,160 you know you can sit on it if you want. Yeah it's an appealing chair. Look the seat's not used. You 227 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:39,120 can use it. You don't need to be nominated to. No I'm not saying that I just I'm not saying that I 228 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:44,160 need a chair with back support. I'm just saying. I don't need a chair with back support because my 229 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:49,600 back is fucked up. Can't really lean against anything. I don't trust this kid. That's fine. 230 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:55,200 Back me up and court him. Vote with no confidence. Sorry court is just when you have enough people to 231 00:23:55,200 --> 00:24:02,000 vote. Yeah. Whoa Jill come on you just said you back me up. Once the kid messes up. He won't. 232 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:07,840 He's not gonna mess up. You're putting this chair into good hands. Look at the marks in this man's 233 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:17,520 back. I did wrong by my son. I see ambition. I see a man who's a boy who's uh willing to 234 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:25,680 get his ways using unorthodox methods. Yeah. It'll also be nice to have someone who can finally 235 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:30,880 fight those teenagers. You can break out the whip. I found out I was down drinking in the garden. 236 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:37,360 We can't hit them. I mean he'll be able to take out like one each but just one uh one swoop. Yeah 237 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:42,480 that's some fine craftsmanship in your back. We can't hit them. They keep saying what are you 238 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:48,400 gonna do. Oh my god that's such a good point. Yeah adults can't fight teenagers but teenagers 239 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:56,080 can't fight children. Yeah so we win by the reverse picking order. It's it's foolproof. I don't want 240 00:24:56,080 --> 00:25:02,240 this on my conscience. I don't want to back a child to hit children. Teenagers? Yeah. You're 241 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:08,000 backing a child to teenagers. That's okay. You can't hit the child. Adults can't hit teenagers. 242 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:13,600 God so many loopholes in this. Oh yeah I mean the law is really just a game for us to play. I'm 243 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:19,760 already seeing the mural as well of him chasing the teenagers out. Yeah yeah yeah we'll have this. 244 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:26,000 It's a garden. We can't have more murals of people being chased out of town. I mean if he asks for it 245 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,120 he'll get it. Oh I'm ready to veto Homa. 246 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:42,800 Oh you all right there fella? You look. No I'm I uh no I have to get out of here. Use your phone. 247 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:47,360 Use your phone. Use your phone now or I'll I don't know what I'm gonna do. The lad's sitting on the 248 00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:53,600 floor. Come on use your phone help I'm out here. I will get written up if I use my phone in a non 249 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:58,160 work time. We'll come in as character witnesses saying what they will see what happens. It's not 250 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:06,160 for work. You don't work on level five. You don't know what it's like to have my job. No I don't 251 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:11,360 know what it's like to have your job. If I'm coming along to say can you do this for me? Can you press number two? 252 00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:17,440 Like the guy's peels. Stand somewhere else. Oh fuck. It's all we're not even asking you to stand somewhere else. 253 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:21,600 We're just saying if you were standing there. You told me to stand somewhere else. I said if you 254 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:31,200 weren't going to press the button that would be helpful. Is he moving? Hey. 255 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,440 Hey the fucking re-use your phone. Use your phone. Like the guy's on the floor. 256 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:44,720 I think he's right. Use the phone. Use the phone. This is now an emergency. I'll call my supervisor. Thank you. 257 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:59,280 Hello yeah I'm at. Yes I know I'm at lunch. Yes no. Yes I'm no I'm not back at my desk but no I 258 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:04,800 shouldn't be. We're in the elevator. It's telling me we're in the elevator. He says that he's going to block the access to my phone 259 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:13,120 for using it during non-work time. No I know that but um. I'm on shit himself. Yeah the files are if you look 260 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:20,480 under. We're in an elevator. Uh under under V. Fucking game. Under V. Fucking V. Godness. Yeah that's 261 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:25,840 that's don't you know. Yeah they're probably there. Don't don't worry about that. No no I did I did do 262 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:31,840 that that piece of work. The the forms are definitely being filed. Hey Phil are you still awake? 263 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:38,080 Don't you worry don't worry about that. No just tell him your problem. The guy's the guy's collapsed 264 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:44,400 and shot himself. I'm out of credit. You've credit on a company phone. Yeah they don't want us using 265 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:51,040 it too much. Well get used to the smell of shit. Don't you tell me what to do. I'm not telling you 266 00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:57,280 what to do. I'm telling you what's going to happen. You're saying get used to the smell of shit. I'll not get used to it if I want to. 267 00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:02,640 No I think it's a. I'm going to be constantly bothered by it. If that's all right with you. It's a biological 268 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:07,440 function. You don't have a say in this. Your nose naturally gets more used to it. So after a while you 269 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:14,240 won't even get used to it. No. The second smell. I'm going to consciously make an effort to notice the smell. 270 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:21,920 You walk into a room. Every. Moment. The second time you sniff you lose 90 percent of the scent of that room. You're already only smelling 10 percent of that room. 271 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:27,600 You have a lack of olfactory abilities. No you can't control what you smell. Are you saying that I'm less of a person? 272 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:37,680 I'm not saying you're less of a person. I'm saying you don't have the. I'm saying every person is the same type of person. You don't have this. You're not. This guy has fainted. This is you. You're so small. You're less of a man. 273 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:50,720 Because you're not less of a man. Well thank you. Thank you for finally admitting that I'm not less of a man. I'll just use the emergency key and I'll get this elevator back working. 274 00:28:50,720 --> 00:29:03,920 And now that you've admitted I'm not less of a man. Thank you very much. What? What the fuck? I do have an emergency key for the elevator but I just didn't want to use it while you were calling me less of a man. 275 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:15,680 I never called you. The only time that you could recall less of a man was in the last minute and that was on your own behalf. After saying I shouldn't stand here next to where the emergency key goes. 276 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:26,080 So this is all because I. You're trying to drive me away from the spot where I'd be most useful in case of an emergency not knowing that there's more to life than you might know about. 277 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:50,080 So this is all because when I came in I asked you to move over. Yes it is. 278 00:29:50,080 --> 00:30:02,640 Back to Dunbracken is created produced and edited by Conneth McVeigh. For more information on the podcast you can follow us at Dunbracken pod on Instagram. 279 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:16,800 This episode featured Patrick Meyer, Laura Conlon, Marcus Keighley, Gerard Donley, Niall McKenna and Aaron Marshall. 280 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:26,240 The opening and closing music was created by Connor Mallon and you can check out his entire album Unearthed on Spotify now. 281 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:47,600 Thank you for listening. We look forward to welcoming you back to Dunbracken very soon.