1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,040 I can't... I don't know how to tie the tie. It just... it just... it's just two straps 2 00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,040 of me. 3 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:20,080 Johnny, it's... you need to grow up. It's... it's your grandest funeral. You need to 4 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:21,080 tie your own tie. 5 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:26,080 He always tied my ties, so I don't know why I have to suddenly start tying my ties. 6 00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,080 Life goes on, Johnny. 7 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,720 I'm a 32 year old man. 8 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:29,720 What? You said it? 9 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,720 If I don't want to tie my ties, I shouldn't have to. 10 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:33,720 Well then... 11 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:34,720 He'd respect that. 12 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,400 If you don't want to tie your own tie as a 32 year old man, you can go out and pay your 13 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,880 own rent as a 32. 14 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,400 Under this house, men tie their own ties. 15 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,520 Where's that son of mine? Is he... is he ready? 16 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:47,520 He's down here not tying his fucking tie. 17 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:48,520 I can't tie the tie. 18 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,520 Aw, son. Do you want me to tie it for you? 19 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,520 No. 20 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:53,520 Don't... don't... 21 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,160 I'll tie it for you. Don't you worry about... 22 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:57,160 I've never learned. 23 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,160 See? 24 00:00:58,160 --> 00:00:59,880 I've just realised I've never looked... 25 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,520 Granda tied her ties as well. 26 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,360 It's so upsetting. He would always tie them for me. 27 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,560 We're gonna miss the funeral here. 28 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:09,440 And I'm not gonna tie your ties for you. 29 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:10,720 You need to do it yourselves. 30 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,480 It's about time I put my foot down in this family. 31 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,480 You wear a clip on. 32 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:15,480 That's not fair. 33 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,720 I had the foresight to go and get a fucking clip on, son. 34 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:19,720 You should clip on. 35 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:20,920 You have more clip? 36 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,360 Let me use one of your clip on's. 37 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:23,360 No, they're backups. 38 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,760 What, in case you spill a little soup on yourself? 39 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,120 How dare you bring that up? 40 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:29,120 How dare you? 41 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,120 No, you deserve it. 42 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,120 Fuck you. 43 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:34,640 I want you to remember what happened at your own mother's wedding. 44 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,040 You made it full of yourself. 45 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:39,120 Well, she made it full of the whole family by marrying him. 46 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,120 What? 47 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,120 It was her third wedding. 48 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,720 Give her a break. 49 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,120 Her husband just died. 50 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,000 Yeah, my first stepdad. 51 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,000 That's who that was. 52 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,200 Let's not go through what happened two years ago, okay? 53 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,200 All right. 54 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,200 We're talking about today. 55 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,240 So now you just have replacement ties ready to go, but you don't... 56 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,040 Maybe you should get a replacement son if you don't want... 57 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,520 A fucking wound if a coo. 58 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,920 Let me tell you, now get your fucking tie on others and I'll break your legs. 59 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:04,920 All right, final. 60 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:05,920 Time for a cut. 61 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,640 And you, Gwen, wash your face. 62 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:11,120 They're surfing soup after, so you better watch yourself. 63 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,680 I fucking audience. 64 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:22,760 Ties, what are they? 65 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:25,040 What the hell is going on there, right? 66 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:26,680 Who decided they were a good idea? 67 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,880 A little ugly piece of fabric that you tie around your shirt? 68 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,440 For the benefit of whom exactly? 69 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:33,440 Your mother? 70 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,440 My mother? 71 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,680 She hates your tie. 72 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:41,720 We are a Goat War scarves family and we always have been. 73 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,600 Goat War scarves have been in our family for generations, keeping us and the rest of Dunbrack 74 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,480 and Warm for 73 years. 75 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,680 Tommy Tyson and his terrible ties do not do that. 76 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:56,200 I heard that he has been putting snow in the bottom of his ties to make you even colder. 77 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,720 Why bother with them when you can wrap your neck in a loose, comfortable and just the 78 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,080 right amount of scratchy Goat Wolf scarf? 79 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:05,280 Tommy Tyson's ties aren't loose at all. 80 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:09,360 In fact, he's installed a device in every tie that constricts it by an inch for every 81 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,360 minute you wear it. 82 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,440 He's literally trying to kill you folks. 83 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:18,360 We would never do that here at Goat Wolf Scarves, lovingly made with 100% hessian silk 84 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,520 by my own mother's hands. 85 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,760 The only thing that Tommy Tyson has ever made was a mistake in thinking that we wouldn't 86 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,680 notice what he did to our father. 87 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,920 A tie-based peace offering to end the feud at a span of millennia. 88 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:32,720 The same wet tie we found him dead in the next morning. 89 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:37,080 We're coming for you Tommy. 90 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:40,560 Goatwool Scarves, the second best thing to wrap around your neck. 91 00:03:40,560 --> 00:04:08,320 The first being a pair of hands and you being Tommy Tyson. 92 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:09,320 Welcome. 93 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,320 Back to Dunbracken. 94 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:21,320 Hey, here's 10 pound. 95 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,240 I'd like a batten slip please. 96 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,000 I'd like a bat, please. 97 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,080 Patrick, what is it you're looking to bet on today? 98 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:34,000 Would you be able to tell me the odds of if there's a fire at the school today? 99 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:39,040 See now this is specifically why I asked you what you're going to bet on today. 100 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,040 Here's 10 pound for it. 101 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,920 No, you've been here every day this week. 102 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,640 I just want to bet if there's going to be a fire at the primary school today. 103 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,120 The fire was yesterday. 104 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,120 Yeah, I know. 105 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:52,120 So I think if I put it into date, it's the least likely day so the odds are high. 106 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,040 So if I win, I'm in the money. 107 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,560 And how many people do you think are going to be betting against you on this? 108 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:02,160 Maybe not a lot, but here's 10 pound and just write it in the little computer and we'll 109 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,160 find out the odds. 110 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:07,920 No, no Patrick, as your uncle, I have to tell you that this behavior is very concerning. 111 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,120 And everybody loses money gambler. 112 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:11,120 It's fine. 113 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,120 Sorry. 114 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,240 This is a betting shop where you might win. 115 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,240 You might win. 116 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,240 It's a betting shop. 117 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,240 People might win. 118 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,760 That's not everyone loses money. 119 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:20,760 Some people win a lot of money. 120 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,680 That's the whole point of betting is that you have the opportunity to win a lot of money. 121 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,720 And in fact, I'm sure that if you look through the accounts, you would find out that we're 122 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,800 actually doing very poorly because a lot of people win. 123 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:36,600 Here's five pound to see if any old man start fighting in the park. 124 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,040 How am I supposed to monitor this? 125 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:44,080 I assume once the bats place them, it's under the jurisdiction of the betting shop to watch 126 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,280 out for these things. 127 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,280 Now, yeah. 128 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,720 And what other costs do you think that are attached with this? 129 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,880 I assume just one person on a state court. 130 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,600 So that's what a day. 131 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,600 So 60 pound a day. 132 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,040 Maybe I don't know how much you pay them. 133 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,040 What's minimum wage? 134 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,520 Yeah, 590 and ours. 135 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,520 What's that? 136 00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,520 Seven and a half hours. 137 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:00,520 How much is your bet? 138 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,720 I have found I want you to treat this seriously. 139 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:04,720 Certainly I always do. 140 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,120 You're putting on a five pound bet. 141 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,120 All right, fine. 142 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,120 Here's 20. 143 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,800 No, doesn't matter how much it is. 144 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,280 The costs of actually going and checking this. 145 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:15,800 First of all, how do you even have 10 pounds or five pounds to bet? 146 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:16,800 Well, I'm not going to ask. 147 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,280 I don't want to really know the answer to that. 148 00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:22,600 I don't care what sort of illicit things you're doing outside of this betting shop. 149 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,840 Here's 30 pound or if the bakery is out of wheat again. 150 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:29,480 Now, we can't take that because the bakery is frequently out of wheat. 151 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,480 Exactly. 152 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:31,480 It's not going to be great odds. 153 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,680 But if I get 35 pound by it, we're in a winning streak. 154 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,600 No one's making bets against that. 155 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,000 That's the problem. 156 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,040 People in this town, people in this town are starving. 157 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,560 The bakery hasn't had any wheat. 158 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,000 We're going on what, two and a half months now? 159 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,000 It's what they all it's like. 160 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,240 One on 10, I'll make three pound by it. 161 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,240 Can I start a point on that? 162 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,200 Extremely good that the bakery is not going to have any more wheat. 163 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,320 There's no one betting that the bakery is going. 164 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:57,120 And the fact that it's a cartel and that most people in town, everyone has access to all 165 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:00,640 of the information about the prices of the wheat, the volume of the wheat, the wheat 166 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:01,640 shipments. 167 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,680 We're pretty sure that there's no wheat. 168 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,920 Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this because I work in the betting shop, giving you insider 169 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:09,920 information. 170 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:10,920 I can't put this bet on anywhere. 171 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,200 And the betting shop is also connected to the cartel. 172 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,200 The Donahue's. 173 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,200 Come again. 174 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,200 The Donahue's cartel. 175 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,200 Yeah, it's Donahue's bookies. 176 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,200 Oh yeah. 177 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,200 Wait a second. 178 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,200 Are you wearing a wire? 179 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,160 I'd like to play a Safari Pine bet. 180 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,160 Hold on a second. 181 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,520 For the police rating here. 182 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,480 It's June 27th. 183 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,480 Why are you wearing a duffel coat? 184 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,480 You've been compromised. 185 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:35,440 I would like to put a 40 pound bet on you being rated by a police. 186 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,440 Two questions. 187 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,440 Number one, where is your money coming from? 188 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,640 Number two, why are you wearing a duffel coat? 189 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,240 Number three, why are you talking about crimes to bet on? 190 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,240 It's very warm today. 191 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:43,240 Tango, we've got what we need. 192 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,240 Get out of there. 193 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:49,920 This duffel coat has ice on the insides, but unless it's been keeping me warm, it's 194 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,160 new technology, proprietary. 195 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,160 Get that tape out of there. 196 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:55,160 You don't fuck. 197 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:57,360 We'll start to close the doors, cancel all bets. 198 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,720 You have about 30 seconds to get out of here. 199 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:01,720 Oh, no. 200 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:02,720 Oh God. 201 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:03,720 Oh, the ice is melted. 202 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:04,720 Tango, no. 203 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,720 The ice was to stop the cassette getting dangerously hot. 204 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,200 You're now going to a region die. 205 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,680 You need to find a way out of there. 206 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,640 Why are you cocking your head to one side? 207 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,440 This is these damn ears. 208 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:15,840 They just aren't what they were. 209 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,680 I'm going to ask you one question, and I won't be repeating it. 210 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:19,680 Okay. 211 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:20,680 And I want a straight answer. 212 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:23,400 Are you wearing a wire and are? 213 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,400 Yes. 214 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:30,000 I'm also maybe wearing a two-way radio so that you can both hear the person as well 215 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,440 as they can hear you. 216 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,440 Yes. 217 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:33,920 Both the answers are true to that question. 218 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,200 Tango, what the fuck? 219 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,280 I'm not a cop. 220 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:37,280 I can't lie. 221 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,280 Wait a second. 222 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,280 Are you talking to me? 223 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,280 Are you talking to someone? 224 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:44,000 To the police officer on the other line that's been trying to get you caught for underhand 225 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,000 dealings. 226 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,000 Come over here, Patrick. 227 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,280 Lean towards the glass window. 228 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,280 Real close to you. 229 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,280 Real. 230 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,280 That's right. 231 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,280 Put up against the reading bench. 232 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,880 You want to just talk into the little mic on my lapel? 233 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:55,880 Yes, pull up the mic. 234 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:56,880 There you go. 235 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:57,880 That's right. 236 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:58,880 Hello. 237 00:08:58,880 --> 00:08:59,880 Hello there. 238 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:00,880 Sonny, I completely forgot it was a two-way radio. 239 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:01,880 I completely forgot that I could just record everything that's coming through this rather 240 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:02,880 than simply waiting for the tip. 241 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:03,880 You know how much money we spent on them. 242 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:04,880 Can you ask the person if I'm allowed to use this police money to bet still? 243 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:05,880 We told him explicitly he was not allowed to use police money to bet. 244 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:06,880 I know that it's all right. 245 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:07,880 I'm not going to use it. 246 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,880 I'm not going to use it. 247 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:09,880 I'm not going to use it. 248 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:10,880 I'm not going to use it. 249 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:11,880 I'm not going to use it. 250 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:12,880 I'm not going to use it. 251 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:13,880 I'm not going to use it. 252 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:23,880 I'm not going to use it. 253 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:33,880 I'm not going to use it. 254 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:42,880 I'm not going to use it. 255 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:52,880 I'm not going to use it. 256 00:09:52,880 --> 00:10:02,880 I'm not going to use it. 257 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:12,880 I'm not going to use it. 258 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:22,880 I'm not going to use it. 259 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:31,880 I'm not going to use it. 260 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:41,880 I'm not going to use it. 261 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:51,880 I'm not going to use it. 262 00:10:51,880 --> 00:11:00,880 I'm not going to use it. 263 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:10,880 I'm not going to use it. 264 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:20,880 I'm not going to use it. 265 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:29,880 I'm not going to use it. 266 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:39,880 I'm not going to use it. 267 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:49,880 I'm not going to use it. 268 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:58,880 I'm not going to use it. 269 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:08,880 I'm not going to use it. 270 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:18,880 I'm not going to use it. 271 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:27,880 I'm not going to use it. 272 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:37,880 I'm not going to use it. 273 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:47,880 I'm not going to use it. 274 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:56,880 I'm not going to use it. 275 00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:06,880 I'm not going to use it. 276 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,880 Tommy Tyson's terrible ties. 277 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:41,880 40% off for you and Jesus. 278 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,880 I wish to challenge my parking ticket. 279 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:51,880 I just feel like when I parked, the sign with the time restrictions wasn't built yet. 280 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,880 So I shouldn't be penalized for it. 281 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,880 Yes, no, it wasn't built. You're correct. 282 00:13:55,880 --> 00:14:00,880 We've been going back over the CCTV for the past year and issuing fines. 283 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,880 Well, I just don't think that's right. I had no way of knowing. 284 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,880 The robot in fact wasn't in place at the time. 285 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,880 I was following the robots. You can't retroactively charge me for parking. 286 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:13,880 You're correct. It was not in law at the time, but... 287 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:17,880 Your Honor, are you hearing this? What are we disputing? 288 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:21,880 We're disputing the fact that you parked where you shouldn't have a year before. 289 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,880 You shouldn't have done it. 290 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,880 We're all in agreement that it was legal when I did it. 291 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:30,880 No, no. I think you'll find that the council isn't desperate and need of funds. 292 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,880 And therefore you have been fined, sir. 293 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,880 That doesn't seem right. 294 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:36,880 Well, would you like us to raise taxes? 295 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,880 Well, I'd get off my fine if you do. 296 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:42,880 I'd rather we all pay a little bit more than just me. 297 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:48,880 Look, sir, we were doing parking based on, you know, a goodwill kind of thing beforehand. 298 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,880 If you thought I shouldn't park here, then don't park there. 299 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:54,880 I didn't think that. 300 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,880 Well, it's per judgment on your part. 301 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:01,880 And if anything, you're driving under per judgment. That's as bad as, like, driving drunk. 302 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,880 We could find you for that, sir. 303 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:07,880 And we only find people who were parked for more than an R as well. 304 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,880 So what were you doing? 305 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:11,880 It's my driveway. I parked there all the time. 306 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:12,880 Convenient. 307 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,880 Where else am I meant to park? On the street? 308 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:15,880 Yes. 309 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,880 Why didn't you park on the street? 310 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,880 Because I have a driveway. It just makes sense. 311 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,880 Yeah, but what if someone else needs that driveway? 312 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,880 And now there's a sign in front of your driveway. 313 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:28,880 Yeah, I can park for more than an hour, which feels unfair. 314 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:33,880 Anyone can park there. They just have to accept the fine that comes their way. 315 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:38,880 It's just, it's not a public space we reclaimed, sir. 316 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,880 You heard it here first, folks. An outright confession fresh from the horse's ass. 317 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:56,880 Tommy Tyson is a Machiavellian-style villain who has no place in Dunbracken and no place in this world. 318 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:01,880 Perhaps if Tina Tyson, the coward, had actually gone through with the wedding with Gargamel, 319 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:06,880 my own brother, the son of gregarious goat wool, we wouldn't be in this mess 320 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,880 and there certainly wouldn't have been a necessity for a good old-fashioned B&G. 321 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,880 That's a breaking in it, goatening for all you Tyson idiots. 322 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:18,880 I have personally never seen Jerry the goat more pleased with himself than he was that day. 323 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:23,880 But I am the bigger man here and I will freely admit that eating Harrow was not part of the plan. 324 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:28,880 He truly was a great pet in the face of Tommy Tyson's terrible ties. 325 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,880 And all I have to say to that is, I'm just a kidding around. Fuck you, Tommy. 326 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:34,880 I'm glad Jerry ate your shit, little rat boy. 327 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:39,880 We've been starving him for weeks and showing him blueprints of your store and how to pick box. 328 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:43,880 He's hungry for ties, Tommy, and I'm hungry for blood. 329 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:47,880 If you're feeling hungry, come on down to goat wool scarves and try our newest edible scarf. 330 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,880 Guaranteed to leave you cozy on the outside and full on the inside. 331 00:16:51,880 --> 00:17:20,880 Sure, why not bring in a Tyson and burn it in front of us and we'll give you 45% off anything in the store. 332 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,880 Don't you dare step foot in our house. 333 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,880 You stay there. Stay out. 334 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,880 You don't have any permission. 335 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,880 I'm an officer of the law. You know that I can enter premises. 336 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,880 I can bring you the license. 337 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,880 Do you need to see my ID? 338 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,880 I do. I would like to see your ID. 339 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,880 Here's the big old badge. 340 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,880 But you need a reason to enter this abode. 341 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,880 Now we're willing to get suspicion of non-licensed dog. 342 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:47,880 I'll get you the license. 343 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:50,880 I'm recording this, by the way. 344 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,880 One of the options is suspicions of non-licensed dog. 345 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,880 He put a GoPro in my head so we're capturing everything. 346 00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,880 And you're welcome to. 347 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,880 You want to turn on your body cam. 348 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,880 I notice your light isn't blinking, but mine is. 349 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,880 You can request this by GDPR. 350 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:07,880 You can get that. 351 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,880 We will. Here's the license. 352 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,880 Sir, the dog. 353 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,880 You can see it matches his photo. 354 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,880 Old English sheepdog. 355 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,880 And where is the dog? 356 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:19,880 He's sleeping. 357 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:20,880 Can I see the dog? 358 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,880 You want to see if this dog... 359 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,880 This entrance to house on suspicion of non-dog. 360 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,880 You can't just say things out loud and then the happen. 361 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,880 Suspicion of non-dog. 362 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,880 If you don't have a dog but you have a license, that's also fraud. 363 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:35,880 Dog fraud? 364 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:36,880 That's dog fraud. 365 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,880 You're accusing us of dog fraud? 366 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:42,880 Yeah. You could be pretending to have a dog by paying for a license 367 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,880 just to get proof of dog. 368 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,880 Why would anyone do that? 369 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:47,880 Tax benefits. 370 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,880 What for saving a dog? 371 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,880 You know that the local council has great initiatives for dog owners. 372 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,880 Access to the dog park. 373 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,880 We do claim dog tax credits to be fair. 374 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:58,880 Do we? 375 00:18:58,880 --> 00:18:59,880 Yeah. 376 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:00,880 I didn't realise that. 377 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:05,880 Whenever you get your bins emptied, they put those little doggy bags with the bins. 378 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:06,880 Those aren't for everyone. 379 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:07,880 Well, we don't use doggy bags. 380 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,880 We let it compost the ground. 381 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,880 Then what are you doing with the doggy bags that you receive from the bin? 382 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:13,880 You've really put your foot in it here. 383 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:15,880 We put our leftovers in it and stuck it in the freezer. 384 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:16,880 Yeah. 385 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:17,880 That's not what they're for. 386 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:18,880 Food fraud. 387 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:19,880 Food fraud? 388 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,880 You can't stop trying to get into the house. 389 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:22,880 Stop it, sir. 390 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:23,880 Get away. 391 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:24,880 Stop. 392 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:25,880 You can't have our leftovers. 393 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:26,880 Permission to go into house duty food for them. 394 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:27,880 No, get out. 395 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:28,880 No, it doesn't work. 396 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:33,880 All right, you're in the house. 397 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,880 You happy? 398 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:36,880 Here's the fridge. 399 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:37,880 Do you want to inspect the fridge? 400 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:38,880 Do you want a cup of tea? 401 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:39,880 There's the dog. 402 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:40,880 It's sleeping. 403 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,880 That dog barely matches this photo. 404 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:44,880 He's had a rough year. 405 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:45,880 Okay. 406 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:46,880 Okay. 407 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:47,880 We all have. 408 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:51,880 We keep confusing his change for our leftovers. 409 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,880 There's one problem that I can see here. 410 00:19:54,880 --> 00:20:01,880 This dog license that you have handed me that I'm holding in my hand right now is not signed. 411 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,880 Dog you have failed to sign it. 412 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:04,880 The dog can't sign things. 413 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:05,880 We tried. 414 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:10,960 If it's not signed, it's not, but it's like a passport you're trying to travel on a license 415 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,120 that's not been signed. 416 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,120 The dog isn't moving anywhere. 417 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,880 I'm going to have to lock you out of using the village. 418 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:16,880 The whole village? 419 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:17,880 The whole village. 420 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:18,880 The whole village. 421 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:19,880 Can't do that, sir. 422 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:20,880 I'm recording that, do you remember? 423 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,880 Yeah, he's streaming direct to kick.com. 424 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,880 And you're free to get that on GDPR. 425 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:30,880 I don't know why you're wasting your time with your own recording. 426 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,880 We have a load of people watching this right now. 427 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:34,880 12 years. 428 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,880 I have the right to be here under right to suspect. 429 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:38,880 Good. 430 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:39,880 Rod, Danny, one, two, three, four. 431 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:40,880 Thank you very much for the sub. 432 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,880 Yeah, we'll get to the bottom of this in a wee second. 433 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,880 Sorry, there's a lot of people watching. 434 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,880 And if I could see inside of this fridge. 435 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:50,880 Nope. 436 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:51,880 If you could indeed. 437 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,880 But ask you well, no, because you must have read up on your facts. 438 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,880 I'm not allowed to touch that fridge. 439 00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:58,880 Nope. 440 00:20:58,880 --> 00:20:59,880 You're not. 441 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:00,880 You can touch your dog, but you can't touch your fridge. 442 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:01,880 Well, that's right. 443 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,880 That's what we'll be out in the streets screaming tonight. 444 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,880 This is dogs named Alfred. 445 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:06,880 Alfred. 446 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:07,880 Open the fridge for me. 447 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:08,880 Alfred. 448 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:09,880 Don't do it. 449 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:10,880 Alfred. 450 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:11,880 Open the fridge. 451 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:12,880 Alfred. 452 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:13,880 Stop. 453 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:14,880 There we go. 454 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:15,880 There we go. 455 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:16,880 What's in here? 456 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:17,880 Come on, Alfred. 457 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,880 It's just frozen dog shit. 458 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:20,880 Okay. 459 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:21,880 We get very confused. 460 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:22,880 The bags are hard to. 461 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:27,880 The more dog shit we accidentally eat, the harder it is to remember not to eat it. 462 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:31,880 Are you trying to take work away from our good refuse men and women? 463 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:35,880 No, because we still put our leftovers into the dog bags and into the bin. 464 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:36,880 We're out of fortune. 465 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,880 That's bin fraud. 466 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,880 Some of them we put into the ground. 467 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:41,880 That's ground fraud. 468 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,880 I think we're going to go away for a long time. 469 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:45,880 Alfred. 470 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:46,880 You're not going anywhere. 471 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:47,880 You're staying in this house. 472 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:48,880 Oh, no. 473 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,880 He's going to lock us from the outside. 474 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:52,880 No. 475 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:57,880 I'll be condemning your access to the outside world on my exit from this abode. 476 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,880 And you had best not untrust past from your own abode. 477 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:05,880 I'm going to untrust past on grounds of worry to that the outside is committing food fraud. 478 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:06,880 You did it. 479 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:07,880 I can do it. 480 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,880 You have kept enough buried in your own garden to sustain you from years. 481 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,880 What if the dog needs a walk? 482 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:14,880 That's that's animal cruelty. 483 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:15,880 Yeah, exactly. 484 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,880 If we can't walk the dog Alfred, do you need a walk? 485 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:19,880 Alfred. 486 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:20,880 Alfred. 487 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,880 Come on, Alfred. 488 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,880 Well, Alfred, I'm going to give you mine. 489 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:25,880 Here's my card, Alfred. 490 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,880 If you need a walk, Alfred, don't put that in your wallet. 491 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,880 You can't take me directly. 492 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:31,880 You can't take me directly. 493 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,880 But until then, Alfred, free to come and go as he pleases. 494 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,880 Unbelievable. 495 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,880 Alfred, you get us a takeaway. 496 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:52,880 Oh, just take your dog should it's fine. 497 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:59,880 The goatswool family will have you believe that their mother makes all the scarves herself. 498 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:05,880 And they'll have you believe that because that is true. 499 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:15,880 But what they don't want you to know is that she beats the ever living Jesus Christ out of those poor animals. 500 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:22,880 Because she discovered that a traumatized goat has a biological response. 501 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,880 And that is to produce more wool. 502 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:30,880 Because it believes that it can then take more battery from its predators. 503 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,880 It has more wool to sustain the injuries. 504 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:41,880 The only predators that those goats have to fear is Mrs. Goatswool herself. 505 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:49,880 For that reason, she's the only member of the family that I respect. 506 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,880 Tommy Tyson's terrible tides. 507 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:59,880 When no matter how terrible you are, we'll have a tie that fits. 508 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:10,880 Come in now with a court ordered summon and you'll get half off through the Lord Jesus Christ himself. 509 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:18,880 I don't know, I just feel like if you're gonna be dragged to do jury duty, you at least want an exciting one. 510 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,880 I don't think we can talk about it personal lives. 511 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:24,880 I think it's exciting to be paired with me on the jury. 512 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:30,880 Would you like me to regale you off of what I had for my breakfast? 513 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,880 I had a two pouch. 514 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:44,880 I usually have three pouches, but today to my he handed not a layer of eggs. 515 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:45,880 Always me. 516 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,880 And then I had to come down to the court. 517 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,880 I have some of the shell in my pocket. 518 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,880 If you would like some, no, I'm fine. 519 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,880 This is more interesting than the case. 520 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:55,880 Thank you. 521 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:56,880 Thank you, Samelia. 522 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,880 Oh, what else would you like to hear about my day? 523 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:03,880 How about your thoughts on the hit and run case? 524 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:04,880 Oh, yes. 525 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:05,880 Indeed. 526 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:11,880 My P.N. was actually there at the scene, but my P.N. has been silent ever since. 527 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:16,880 So I believe that something truly bad happened that day. 528 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,880 Hence why we are in court. 529 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:19,880 That is my verdict. 530 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:20,880 Okay. 531 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,880 So you're also going with guilty. 532 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:24,880 Hold on. 533 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,880 That means that you're associated with the case. 534 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,880 So then is it a conflict of interest because your P.N. saw the act? 535 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:31,880 Oh, yes. 536 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:36,880 My P.N. is actually going to be up on the stand at some point. 537 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,880 Should I have mentioned that? 538 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:45,880 Jorah, Jorah, I would like to abstain from the court for I am connected to this case. 539 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:49,880 Not that I was in the hit and run, but my P.N. 540 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:53,880 Samantha was was in attendance. 541 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:58,880 The defense has no objections to her remaining in a juror. 542 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,880 Oh, what an honor to be in still apartment. 543 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:02,880 I was the prosecutor. 544 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,880 I actually think that we need to keep her in a loop because if we get rid of her, then 545 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,880 we have to start this all again. 546 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,880 There's going to be four days of this restarted. 547 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,880 I would love to be out of here by four. 548 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,880 No, we're going to have to redo four days. 549 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:17,880 It's going to be a best try. 550 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:18,880 That's what I'm saying. 551 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:19,880 It's fine if she stays. 552 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:20,880 Yeah. 553 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:21,880 Okay. 554 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:26,880 Even though her chicken is next even though her be at his next. 555 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,880 I'm feeling good about this case. 556 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:29,880 Okay. 557 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:40,880 You're with this. 558 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:45,880 Mama Goatwool has rightfully earned her place on the food chain and has worked hard to keep 559 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,880 those goats in line. 560 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,880 Oh, Gilbert. 561 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:50,880 Why doesn't she just go for sheep? 562 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,880 There's more of them and they're easier to scare. 563 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,880 First of all, go fuck yourself. 564 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,880 Mama Goatwool does not do easy work. 565 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,880 Secondly, do you think she's just going to stop at goats? 566 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,880 Mama Goatwool has seen all the ways the animals look at her in Dunbrack and Zoo. 567 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,880 It's the same way that I look at Tommy Tyson theme dartboard on my wall. 568 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:14,880 This is our God given biological response. 569 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,880 I'm waiting for the day you come out of hiding, Tommy. 570 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:26,880 I'm really looking forward to it. 571 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:33,880 I have been a court stenographer for three years now. 572 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:38,880 It's an exciting job, but I can't speak about it. 573 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:48,880 No, don't ask questions. 574 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:55,880 I have been the court gossip for the past number of years. 575 00:27:55,880 --> 00:28:03,880 So if you would like some information, please, my lips are wet and ready to administer gossip. 576 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:13,880 He gets paid more than me, which I feel is unfair because it's easier to gossip than to purse one's nips in silence. 577 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:15,880 How about you gossip then? 578 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:16,880 I will not gossip because... 579 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,880 Here's a bit of gossip. I believe the court stenographer has been having an affair. 580 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:24,880 You can't talk about that. It was outside of court. 581 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:26,880 Exactly. Still gossip. 582 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,880 No, it's court gossip you're hired for. That's inadmissible. 583 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,880 It's gossip that involves... 584 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,880 You're sullying the good name of court gossip. You can't even do that, right? 585 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,880 I believe you're the one sullying the good name by having an affair. 586 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,880 No, I'm sullying by good name. I think you'll find... 587 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:48,880 The reason why this has not been known to many people is because they are having an affair with the head of the newspaper. 588 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,880 It's outside of court, the head of the newspaper. 589 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,880 And they're keeping it out of the paper. 590 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:53,880 Yes, and he buries... 591 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:54,880 Buries the lead. 592 00:28:54,880 --> 00:29:02,880 Yeah, he buries the lead. 593 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:03,880 Honey? 594 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:04,880 Yes? 595 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:05,880 I've been looking at this transcript. 596 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:06,880 Yes? 597 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,880 Have you been having an affair? 598 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,880 I'm not allowed to talk about what happened in the court. 599 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:12,880 Read the last five lines back to me. 600 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:14,880 I can't talk about that. 601 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,880 I'm a stenographer. I'm not the gossip. 602 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,880 If you want to get the gossip in here, you'll have to do that in your own time. 603 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,880 It says here... 604 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,880 Yes, baby. Buried the lead. 605 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:27,880 Yes, it does. 606 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,880 That is as far as I'll go with it. 607 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,880 Except to say... 608 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,880 That that is me. 609 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,880 Court stenographer is me. 610 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,880 Yes, your assumptions are correct. 611 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,880 I can talk about what happened outside of court. 612 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,880 But I cannot, in good conscience, stay the dial in an affair... 613 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:48,880 Inside of court. 614 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:50,880 You're not allowed to have an affair... 615 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,880 Inside or outside of court? 616 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,880 Oh, well, the lines are blurry. 617 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,880 I just can't talk about anything in court, so... 618 00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,880 Does anything go... 619 00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,880 Is this the first time this has happened? 620 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:02,880 I can't talk about that. 621 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:04,880 Jesus. 622 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:08,880 I'm going to make a freedom of information request. 623 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,880 Please don't do that. 624 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,880 The gossip will be all over my back. 625 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,880 GILBERT GOLDSWELL 626 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,880 Gilbert Goltzwall. 627 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,880 Meet me at 4pm. 628 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:25,880 At the swing set. 629 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,880 For your untimely demise. 630 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:33,880 Jesus will be there. 631 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:43,880 Will you? 632 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,880 I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I would be a surprise witness. 633 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:48,880 I'm unfamiliar with the crime. 634 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,880 I was just suddenly pulled in off the street. 635 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:53,880 I was blindfolded and someone shouted to surprise. 636 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,880 Now I'm here. 637 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,880 I don't know anything. 638 00:30:57,880 --> 00:30:59,880 Look, you can make this up as you go along. 639 00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:01,880 Do you think this guy's guilty or not? 640 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,880 How you doing? 641 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,880 First impressions. 642 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,880 What is up with you? 643 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:09,880 It's a simple yes or no. 644 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:11,880 Guilty, not guilty. 645 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,880 I have a large water cash waiting for you if this answer is correct. 646 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:17,880 I mean, I pay him a lot of protection money, so I don't want to speak against him. 647 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:21,880 Oh. Of all the people to pull in off the street, huh? 648 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,880 Well, I mean, a lot of people pay him. 649 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:25,880 Statistically, that was going to happen. 650 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:26,880 Okay. 651 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,880 If you whisper to me, if you think he's guilty or not guilty, 652 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:33,880 and I won't say that unless you want me to say that that's what you said. 653 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,880 I can lip read. 654 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:37,880 Okay, how about this? 655 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,880 I will write an envelope to crime. 656 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,880 I think he did it. 657 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:45,880 You will write an envelope to crime he's currently being accused of. 658 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:47,880 If they match, I'll testify. 659 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:49,880 Oh, what? 660 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:51,880 Oh, so you're going to- 661 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:53,880 I don't know what he's being accused of. 662 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:55,880 Yeah, but you have a sense of what he could be being accused of. 663 00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:57,880 You're just going to profile him a little bit. 664 00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,880 I don't know if he's guilty or not guilty. 665 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,880 Oh, no, I'm intimately familiar with him. 666 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,880 And I know he's committed a number of crimes, but I don't know which one he's being prosecuted for. 667 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,880 Right, which one? Which one? 668 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:09,880 Yeah, yeah, and I don't want to testify against crimes that are irrelevant to this case. 669 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,880 It's like a needle in a crime stick. 670 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,880 I mean, it's pretty good odds that he's guilty then, from what you're saying. 671 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,880 I don't know the crime. He only commits certain types of crimes. 672 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,880 Exactly. You do more crimes, harder to find. 673 00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:24,880 If it's a different type of crime than he usually does, it's a 0% chance. 674 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:30,880 For example, I don't believe he would sell illegal lumber. 675 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,880 No, all legal lumber. 676 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,880 So what sort of crimes would you be more familiar with him? 677 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,880 His kind of hallmarks. Hypothetically. All of the record. 678 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,880 Leading the witness, Your Honor. 679 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,880 He's a good lawyer, isn't he? 680 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,880 I can't believe he's defending himself. 681 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,880 You represented me in my divorce. 682 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,880 I am the most expensive lawyer that I could hire. 683 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:54,880 Okay, I'll just say it. He'll happily falsify documents. 684 00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,880 Yeah, that sort of tracks from our experience as well. 685 00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,880 That is not what I am on trial for here. That is, in and out of this. 686 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:02,880 All right, but in that case, I'm not testifying any further. 687 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,880 All right, okay, well, back onto the street you go. 688 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,880 You can have a discount next week. 689 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,880 No further questions, Your Honor. 690 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,880 What is that? 691 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:22,880 Hey, hey, hey, do you hear that? Do you know what that is? 692 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:23,880 What? 693 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:25,880 Do you hear that? What's happening? 694 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,880 I don't know. Someone said something about some old guys fighting? 695 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:32,880 What? Seriously? Did you bet on that? 696 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:36,880 Why would I bet on two pensioners trying to kill each other? 697 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,880 Tooth of death. Oh my God. Is anyone betting on it? 698 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,880 Oh my God, my uncle wouldn't let me bet on that. 699 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:43,880 Okay. 700 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:44,880 He must have known it was happening. 701 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:45,880 Cool. 702 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:46,880 Typical. 703 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:47,880 I'm sorry. 704 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:49,880 Do you have a tan on you? 705 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:51,880 Why are you still here? 706 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,880 Yeah, sorry, sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. Bye-bye. Sorry. 707 00:33:55,880 --> 00:34:20,880 Back to Dumb Bracken is created, produced, and edited by Colm Ultimate Gay. 708 00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:26,880 For more information and podcasts, you can follow us at Dumb Bracken pod on Instagram. 709 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:34,880 This episode featured Patrick Meyer, Flora Connlund, Marcus Keighley, Jerd Donnelly, 710 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:40,880 Kieran Sands, Hall Moon, Niall McKenna, and Aaron Marshall. 711 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:50,880 The opening and closing music was created by Connor Malham, and you can check out his 712 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,880 entire album on Earth on Spotify now. 713 00:34:52,880 --> 00:35:11,880 For more information and podcasts, visit Dumb Bracken.com. 714 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:37,880 Thank you.