1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,880 Hi there, we were just wondering what bus or train or public transport that we could 2 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:14,880 get that would bring us to Dublin. We were just looking to do a day trip there. 3 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:15,880 Rather than here. 4 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,920 So sorry, public transport? 5 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:25,400 Yeah, just what's the most direct route, we don't have a car. We thought, I say we, someone 6 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:31,800 thought that they were booking for us for a weekend in Dublin, but we ended up in Dunbracken 7 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:36,200 and I can only half see how that mistake has been made. 8 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,440 They are very close to each other on the forums. 9 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:43,400 They also share quite a lot of similar letters. So really, it's much much the same. 10 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:47,200 I'm sure you have guests here to whom the same thing happened all the time. 11 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:53,720 Not all our guests are as enthusiastic as we would like, but we're happy to have everyone. 12 00:00:53,720 --> 00:01:00,120 But yeah, if you had any like maps or you could tell us where the best bus stop is. 13 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,280 First to go to Dublin. 14 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,480 So you don't have a car? 15 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:05,480 No car. 16 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:07,560 Sorry, how did you get here? 17 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:09,560 An expensive taxi. 18 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:17,800 Okay. Yes, so we don't have, you know, your sort of Dublin standard infrastructure. Okay, 19 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:24,120 you could walk there. That would be about, what would you say your pace is? 20 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:29,000 I mean, I run a half marathon about 15 years ago. 21 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:34,240 Oh, good for you, sir. Well, in that case, I'd say it would be about closer to four days 22 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,240 than five. 23 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,480 Okay, so not possible as a day trip. 24 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:46,280 Well, your other option is Jim does have a trailer and he goes to the farmer's market 25 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:53,960 with his cabbages twice a week. And he's been known to take passengers. Now that would be 26 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,880 obviously much quicker than the foot option. 27 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:02,880 When you say trailer, are we in the cab part of it? Like, are we on seats or are we in 28 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:03,880 there with the cabbages? 29 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:07,360 I think he likes to negotiate that personally with it, you know, each passenger. 30 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,760 Oh, I quite like to haggle. I love to haggle. 31 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:13,520 Yeah, but what if one of us gets a seat and then one of us ends up in with a cab? 32 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:17,520 I'm a good haggler. I reckon I can get us both seats at the front. 33 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:21,520 Okay, well, when is the next time that he's heading down to Dublin? 34 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:48,240 Well, do you want me like he's just like the back is living our cabbages. 35 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:52,240 Welcome back to Dunbracken. 36 00:02:52,240 --> 00:03:08,680 Hi. Hi there. I left my shoes under my desk. It's a pair of shoes. And I know the offices 37 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:15,240 are closed, but I need them. Well, I can't have you walking about the office. I was looking 38 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:20,800 for random pairs of shoes. Could you possibly describe them to me? And maybe I could have 39 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:25,080 a quick look and maybe, you know, it's just I've got strict instructions. I can't let 40 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:30,520 anybody in after a certain time, you know, I'll be very quiet. Well, clearly you've got 41 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:35,600 no shoes on. I can see that. You've got nothing on your feet. And they would also complain 42 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:40,880 a bit about that if you walked, if I let someone walk around barefoot. But I can have a quick 43 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:43,840 look for you. I mean, could you want to describe the shoes? 44 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,240 Okay. They're pink. 45 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,240 Pink shoes. 46 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,240 Yes. 47 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:51,960 I definitely shouldn't be that new in here at all. Then this is a very serious place 48 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:57,400 of work. I can see why you left them under the desk now. But I can have a look now, but 49 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:01,320 you'll have to fill in a form first anyway. You'll have to fill in that form because, 50 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,520 you know, I need to so I need you to write down the exact description of the shoes. What 51 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,760 size are they? 52 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,200 Size two. 53 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,200 Size two. 54 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,200 Yes. 55 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:13,720 Okay. Are you sure they're size two? Are they your shoes? Are they? I mean, you know, that's 56 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,560 the other thing as well. This is going to raise a few more other questions now. It's 57 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,520 like, are you asking for someone else's shoes? 58 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:19,520 They're a gift. 59 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:23,520 They're a gift. So are they open? Are they sitting in a box? 60 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:27,120 I had to take them out of the box so I could see what they looked like. 61 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,520 And did you throw the box away then? 62 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,640 Yes. They're under my desk. 63 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,800 Okay. Well, you have to point out where your where's your desk. Which one's your desk? 64 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,640 It's right in the middle of the trading floor. 65 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:40,320 Right in the middle of the trading floor. Oh, that really important big round desk. 66 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:41,320 Yes. 67 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:46,720 That's your desk. That's a lovely desk. That's a lovely desk. You must be quite important. 68 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,720 Where's the form? 69 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,040 The form is in front of you there. That's the form. I put it down there. 70 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,040 But this is five pages. 71 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:55,080 Yes. God, if you keep staring, there's a pen there. There's a pen. It's on the chain. So 72 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,080 you'll have to stay. 73 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,080 Boss. Boss. 74 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,080 Yeah, yeah. 75 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,560 Boss, there's an emergency. There's an emergency. We have to evacuate the building now. 76 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:02,560 Evacuate the building? 77 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:03,560 Why? 78 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:08,040 We found a strange pair of pink shoes on the desk. The round desk in the center. We think 79 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:09,880 it's a bomb. 80 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,520 That's them. That's them. 81 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,320 Oh yeah, but we're going to have to get the bombs I suppose in there because they've been 82 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,800 reported now as a bomb, you see. So that trumps whatever purpose you're going to put on the 83 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:25,840 form. 84 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:32,640 My neighbor, he's a wild man for stealing my packages. He would just take them. I get 85 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:39,640 a delivery from the mailman. He would just take all my deliveries. So he would just take 86 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:44,720 them. And now, of course, my first line of action, I'm sure. What did I do, sure? I went 87 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:49,920 straight and I asked my postman if he could just put my packages into my bin. But he just, 88 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:54,040 he laughed at me. So he did. He says mail wasn't rubbish. You can't even be doing that. 89 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:58,120 Now that'd be, that'd be silly. Sure. What if he, he could get in trouble? Cause how 90 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:02,440 does he know? The bin schedule. And sure, if he puts them in to the bin and then the 91 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:06,200 bin man comes along and then I shout at the postman and then that'd be a whole thing. 92 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:11,680 So that, that was no good for him. Now he didn't, he didn't like that as a solution. 93 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:17,600 So I tells, I tell suppose man, so I did, I told him to just give the packages, to just, 94 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:21,440 to give them to me inside the house. And she said, so that's what I've been doing. So 95 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:25,160 he did. That's what he said to me. I've been doing that the whole time. I've been giving 96 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:30,840 to someone in the house. I said, sure. What do you mean? I live alone. And well, I haven't 97 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:35,640 been getting any of the packages handed to you from me. Now you have. He said, I don't 98 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:40,680 know. And I don't know if I believe this now, but sure. What did he say to me? He said, 99 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:44,400 I don't know what to tell you. I said, I've been, I've been given these packages to someone 100 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:48,160 at the front door every day. I said to him, sure. Well, can you tell me this now? Was 101 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:53,320 it me? You've been given them to. And he says, he says to me, he says, sure. How would 102 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:57,560 I know? I see so many faces every single day. Would you, would you have some sort of interesting 103 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,400 feature that I would remember you by? I says to him, sure. You're the one looking at me 104 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:06,720 right now, aren't you? So do you not recognize me and my, me and my house here now? He, he 105 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,800 came back to me with a fair enough response. He says, sure. Now I might, I might recognize 106 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,920 you and I might recognize this house, but you know, I can't be sure that I recognize 107 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:20,400 the both of you together. And he had me. So the postman was no use. I was going to have 108 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:26,160 to get to the bottom of this on my own without, without the postman's help now. So I'd have 109 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:30,480 to go down to my cell and I went and got myself one of those new Fangord ringing doorbells 110 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:34,560 and they're weird things now because they are, because they say they're ringing doorbells, 111 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:37,680 but on things they're just sitting there video and everything. A better name for it would 112 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:42,320 be a video doorbell. No, because, because sure. Don't we, don't we already know that 113 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:46,840 a doorbell is going to ring anyway? That's, that's the primary. And in most cases, I would 114 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:52,380 argue the only function of a doorbell is to ring. And sure, ringing bell are just synonymous 115 00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:56,240 with one another, aren't they? That's a bit of a misnomer. You might as well just say bell 116 00:07:56,240 --> 00:08:02,320 doorbell, you know, but that's neither here nor there now to be fair to you. 117 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:14,000 So, um, thanks for coming out to this tour of the village. This is the village part of 118 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:21,440 the tie and it is actually the underdog we call it of the tie. How old is it? So the 119 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:27,400 village has been about before most of us were born. We're actually standing on the site 120 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:33,320 of the first ever train station of Dunbracken. And as you can see, we actually used to have 121 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:38,280 a bridge now. It's only half a bridge now. So don't, don't, don't, don't climb over 122 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:43,400 it. Come back. Can you bring your son back please? You don't know how old it is. Yes, 123 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:50,200 it's older than most of the people in the town. How old is it? What's wrong, Jimmy? 124 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:56,560 I'm on top of half the bridge. Don't jump. What happened last time? No, no, no, I'm not 125 00:08:56,560 --> 00:09:03,440 going to jump. Don't jump. So how old is the village? So the village is older than most 126 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:08,360 of the people living here. So if we move on down to the street here, this is the main 127 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,760 street of the village. Well, what age is the oldest person? Well, on the right you will 128 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:19,640 see a building that the oldest person in Dunbracken used to live in, but it is now a horse stable. 129 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:25,280 So now you see that horse there. Do you like horses? Young boy, do you like a horse? No, 130 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:29,560 no horses. No, don't like horses. No, they're dangerous. They kick you. Well, it's like 131 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:34,600 heights. I like heights. Keith, do you like horses? I'm all right with horses actually. 132 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:39,280 I don't mind them. Right, Keith, you'll be the volunteer then on the tour. Come here. 133 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:43,920 It's called immersive touring. We're going to get you. Come over here and hold my left 134 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:49,600 hand. Okay then. What do you want me to do? With your right hand, you put your hand on 135 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:54,280 the horse's nose. Right on the horse's nose. Are you ready for this everyone? It's going 136 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,760 to kick, it's going to kick, it's going to kick, mama, bet you. Its feet are at the back. 137 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:03,360 I lost the front to you in a wee accident. If you just watch me, do you know what a Mexican 138 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:07,240 wave is? I've seen it on the television. They do that during the football, don't they? Right, 139 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,800 so what's going to happen? I'm going to lift my arm here and when you feel me lift my arm 140 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,800 that you're holding, you do it too. And see what the horse does, see what the horse does 141 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:18,240 there everyone. Ready? Step back, step back, step back. You ready Keith? Ready when you 142 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:23,520 are. Here we go. Have you ever seen a horse do that? No you haven't. I have never seen 143 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:27,920 a horse do that. It was fascinating. Do you see the way its hair moved? It didn't move 144 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:31,120 mama, it didn't move. I didn't see it move. She still doesn't know what age the village 145 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:47,600 is. Jump in. Gem, Gem, Gem, Gem, Gem, we might have a few passengers for you this afternoon. 146 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:55,200 Oh, oh hello. Alright, alright. Hi, I'm Jim. Alright, from Horn Shack to Jim, I like that. 147 00:10:55,200 --> 00:11:00,640 These are our newest guests. Shake my hand, yep. Oh welcome. There we go. You want a cabbage? 148 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:05,640 We want to go to Dublin. Yeah, they want to go to the big city. Big city boys and girls. 149 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:12,680 I said you were the man to talk to. Oh yeah, I'll be doing a trip up there Tuesday morning. 150 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:17,520 That's today. Yeah, but we're at half 11 so like there's a little morning. I'm going 151 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:22,480 back. Are we like you haven't left yet? No, I'm here currently. Yeah, but as in like you 152 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:28,280 haven't you haven't already done the trip. No, I haven't. I spend my day going down there. 153 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:33,400 So I'll be going Tuesday morning. I thought we were going to still see if somebody by 154 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,720 staying here tonight rather than in Dublin. Is that the time? Yeah, yeah, you've seen 155 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:40,720 a lot of the strike of time but I think we can get a lift. But you're coming back the 156 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,640 same evening, right? Oh yeah, I'll drop them off and I'll be right back on the road again. 157 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:51,880 Right away. I'll return Wednesday, twilight. Wednesday, twilight. Good stay in Dublin. 158 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:56,640 Well that was the plan originally was to stay in Dublin. I'm telling you I drop these off 159 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:01,280 these cabbages and then I go. Isn't that right? Oh, I know you're not one for hanging around 160 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:05,560 Jim. Not one for hanging around except when I get talking to Al Bill out there. Talking 161 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:11,160 to the Ed Schiff is what I've lost track of. Oh well you two are like peas in a pod. Cabbage 162 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:17,200 is in a truck. Good one sir. Oh thank you. I'm very funny. Would you like to sit up front? 163 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:21,080 I would love to. You know what? It would be great if my wife could sit next to me as well. 164 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:27,440 Are you as funny? Yeah. Wonderful. Two funnies I'll make for a delightful trip. Yeah. That'll 165 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:33,960 really pass the time on the road. Are you okay with an og? Excuse me? My og, Petal. 166 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:37,000 She sits in the front with me. I might be a cramp because she's sitting in the back 167 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:42,560 just as well. She can't. She'll eat all the cabbages. But I love her. She's hilarious 168 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:49,720 too. Yeah she is. She's very funny. You have to see her. Why is she oinks? Could you give 169 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:56,920 us just a moment? We're just going to work out logistics very quickly. I like him. What? 170 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:01,760 He's a down earth man. I talk to too many corporate people I feel like. Yeah right. 171 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:07,280 But if I went up and I got our stuff quickly we just ask him to drop us at the airport 172 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:12,360 and go home. I mean, a flight's down till tomorrow. I don't mind spring for an extra 173 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:16,160 night in Dublin. Well you should have bought the extra nights in Dublin to begin with. 174 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:21,120 Then we wouldn't have been out of pocket for having to get that taxi from Dublin airport 175 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:27,640 to here. It was a long journey and I apologize. And he was no crack, that driver. No he didn't 176 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:33,520 laugh at any of my jokes. No. Yeah but I mean we had a good time here. I mean we had time 177 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,840 here. They served us a lot of cabbage in the restaurant. We saw corn maize, we saw minefield, 178 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:44,600 we saw a lot of things. We saw a chicken infested radio tower. That was cool. Yeah okay. We 179 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:48,560 wouldn't have seen that in Dublin. Do you want to stall for time and then I'll go and 180 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:52,920 get our stuff? I think we could just ask him to wait. I don't know. Do you mind just waiting 181 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:57,520 while we grab our stuff? Oh yeah I'm not leaving until Tuesday morning. See I think if we get 182 00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:02,720 our stuff then we might miss Tuesday morning now. Our pal will love this. She loves sitting 183 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:07,000 on people's laps. Oh I know she's a great one for the company. Yeah. You ever need her 184 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:11,040 in here and the lobby desk you can have her. I think it might be a story to tell if we 185 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:16,840 let the hog ride in front of us. Yeah no that's fine. I thought you'd object. No I sort of 186 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:21,440 just want to get the luggage and the toiletries that I will steal so that we don't have to 187 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:26,360 come back to this place. Yeah I mean. I'll take the story as long as it's a one directional 188 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:30,120 story. So you're pro. Okay so you don't want to come back. Your problem wasn't that you 189 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:33,760 expected Dublin and this is just a change of expectation because I wouldn't mind coming 190 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:38,280 back. No I wanted Dublin. We are going to Dublin. But what I'm saying is. My Pinterest 191 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:43,760 border was for Dublin. My itinerary was for Dublin. I understand. Dublin? I'm going there 192 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:49,160 Tuesday morning. Yeah. You're providing a great service for these city folks Jim. I 193 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:54,480 do yeah. All I'm saying is. It's not like this in Cork. No no it's not like this in 194 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:58,400 Cork. I mean that's why I like coming here. What I'm saying is we can go to Dublin enjoy 195 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:04,080 our time there and then next year we come here intentionally. Yeah. Next year. I just 196 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,160 feel like there's a lot to explore. As if there will be a next anniversary. I think 197 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:13,440 so. Do you know? Well a year's a long time. You're just stressed. Oh you want to be stressed? 198 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:19,200 You should old petal the old journey. She's a wonderful stress ball like a big oinky pink 199 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:24,560 stress ball. Love's a good cuddle so she does. And you'll need to decide which one of you 200 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:30,040 is sitting on Jim's lap. It is a two seater cab. Yes petal will sit on one of you and 201 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:34,360 one of you will sit on me. Well I think he's your new best friend. So you can sit on his 202 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:38,480 lap. And I think you really need to hold petal. Squeeze the pig. Yeah I think that will relax 203 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:42,320 you and you know what I think by the time we get down to Dublin we'll be looking forward 204 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:48,560 to our next anniversary. I'm confident. We've had this argument every year. Well let's not 205 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:54,440 jump the gun. There is a gun in the glove box just in case anyone tries to rob our cabbages. 206 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:59,400 But petal will attack most people. Do you hear that? The gun's going to be on my side. 207 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:03,080 Yes just the way I like it. It's like when we go to sleep at night it's on your side 208 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:18,440 of the bed. Someone reported a bomb. Hello is that you? The bomb squad is that you? Where's 209 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,520 the bomb? Why is there still people in this building? They should get evacuated immediately. 210 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,280 They're filling in their forms. There's a clock. There's a bomb and you're getting them to 211 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:29,360 fill out. Get them out of the building immediately. There's a bomb disposal form. Well everyone 212 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:34,040 fill your, take your bomb disposal forms and fill them out as we go along. Do you know 213 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:38,880 how much these cost? Where is the bomb? What does it look like? I need to go and dispose 214 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:43,040 of it. You saw it. You saw it was ticking. He says it's a pink pair of shoes. A size 215 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,400 two. They're sitting in the middle of the floor. There's a nice big round desk in the 216 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:51,120 middle of the floor. A ticking pair of shoes. These kids these days you know they put wheels 217 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:55,360 and stuff on shoes. I think maybe they put clocks in them. There's a clock in the shoe. 218 00:16:55,360 --> 00:17:02,440 Is it that big round desk? I'll go and see what it can do. Everyone take their forms 219 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,280 and get out because basically we're going to fill them out. Now lift the pen although 220 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:10,320 they're chained to the pen so we'll have to bring the desk. Can I go boss? I'm too young 221 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:15,500 to die. I'm too young to die. Calm down. Calm down. The form will determine whether you're 222 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:18,320 too young to die. The form will determine if you're too young to die because that's 223 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:22,840 a question on the form. Remember the bomb disposal form is written at 17 pages. 17 pages 224 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:26,720 long. I'm finished filling it in. Which form have you finished in? Is that a five page 225 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:31,840 form? Yes. Unfortunately that form is trumped by the bomb disposal form so you'll have to 226 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:37,240 fill in the 17 page form. Everyone could you lift the desk here? Just lift the desk because 227 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,200 we're going to have to bring the pen with us. I can't see my writing anymore. My tears 228 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:45,680 have wiped I think. Can you bring me the shoes so I can see them for the last time? They're 229 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:49,400 ticking bomb. They're a bomb sir. They've been identified as a bomb. That trumps them 230 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:56,200 as a shoe. It's quite all right. It's not a bomb. Somebody put a watch inside a pair 231 00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:01,040 of pink ballet pumps. Yes. Is that yours then sir? Yes. Well you're going to have to put 232 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,560 them there because I think if you're going to claim lost property now you're going to 233 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:13,880 have to fill in another form sir. So I got to videoing my front door so I did and the 234 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:18,560 pushman he was true to his word so that was good now but he had indeed been handing the 235 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:23,200 packages to someone someone right in the door so he had been but sure enough now that wasn't 236 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:28,200 me and I could prove it because sure wouldn't I be the one receiving the packages if I was 237 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:32,560 the one who had been receiving the packages? I would remember that I think and even if 238 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:36,400 I did forget because sometimes I do forget things now but I'd have the package you know 239 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:41,440 as a reminder of receiving the package. So of course the ring doorbell itch I'm sure 240 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,560 it's only capturing the hand of whoever's receiving the package and that's no use to 241 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:49,280 nobody now. So what did I do? Sure I turned it around didn't I? I turned the doorbell 242 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:54,320 to face the door and that's when all my suspicions were confirmed because right enough I was 243 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,640 seeing my neighbour every day sure enough there he is opening my door and receiving 244 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:01,880 my packages and then he just waits. He waits until the postman leaves and then he says 245 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:07,960 goodbye and he just saunters on over to his house so he does. Now I confronted him about 246 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:13,080 this of course now. Now that I had video evidence sure I was confronting him right away but 247 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:17,240 sure didn't he say that looks like footage of him in his front porch which was to be 248 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:22,680 fair to him a good argument in his defense because our houses are the exactly same exactly 249 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:29,400 the same build so I didn't have a leg to stand on there. So I asked him for my spare 250 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:33,200 key back and he said no no he couldn't be doing that now. Of course it's my spare key 251 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:37,240 so I says to him I said hey it doesn't matter what you think here now it's my spare key 252 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:44,280 and sure I want it back now don't I? But he comes back at me and says that I have hurt 253 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:48,240 his feelings of course there's me hurting his feelings by accusing him of this sort 254 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:53,760 of thing now hey and making his reputation go down a bit of a drain so he says. So I 255 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:57,560 did I let him keep the keys because I felt bad about it but then I was reading a bit 256 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:01,440 of psychology stuff online I just happened to stumble upon it one day you know and it 257 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:05,840 seemed like he was doing some sort of a term they call in the psychological circles the 258 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:11,720 abusive term known as a Darvo which is where the offender they deny the accusation that 259 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,840 has been thrown at them and then they attack the victim by reversing the victim and the 260 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:20,400 offender and sure enough the more I read in this Darvo thing the more it seemed like that's 261 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:24,880 exactly what he had done to me now. He had convinced me that I was in the wrong for just 262 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:28,620 wanting my package back and sure having the audacity to simply accuse him of doing the 263 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:33,880 exact thing I knew he had been doing and I had the video footage to prove it sure. So 264 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:38,400 so what what would I do here now was the next plan of action for me was that I would get 265 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,480 my locks changed and I did that but then of course I don't trust my neighbour on the 266 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:46,960 other side because he's a wild man you know he is a wild man for slipping in in your cupboards 267 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:50,560 and like seeing what medication you're on and I don't want any of that sort of nonsense 268 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:54,680 going on so I ended up having to just give my new spare key right back to John and John 269 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,800 he's the neighbour who has been stealing the packages don't know if I've said that 270 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:03,080 before but sure John McCauley that's his name so it is. So I ended up I got a wee guard 271 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:07,840 dog so I did and sure enough the next time that John tried to steal my packages sure 272 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:13,040 didn't my new dog just didn't it just clean tear hamstring right out of his body now so 273 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:18,520 it did and Jesus it was brutal but sure they did the job now because he hasn't been back 274 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:23,880 since. I was ordered by the court to pay his medical fees and they're they're fairly 275 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:29,440 hefty now even know that he was the one to break into my house but sure you know it is 276 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:33,280 what it is because I'll happily pay anything that the court asked me to there because shouldn't 277 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:39,200 I get it all my ring or bell? By Jesus that video of that dog ripping his hamstring clean 278 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:49,160 out of his body sure that video that's priceless to me now so it is. 279 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:56,080 Well darling how was your work today? Well that's the usual you know now Tommy I really 280 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,760 try I love this wee village I love the village part of the town you know people don't take 281 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,400 it seriously. And did you take them on a tour today? I took them on a tour now to the village 282 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:08,800 part of the town and I showed them the horse. That sounds lovely darling. I know but you 283 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:13,280 know this wee boy. Was it a good crowd? It was a good wee crowd now. Were there three 284 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:18,200 today? Three? There were three today sure did and the horse. New troublemakers? Oh aye 285 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:22,520 there was a troublemaker now. Troublemaker? I can handle troublemakers now Tom. Sure I 286 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:29,760 handle you. I know you can you're a good woman I just worry you're getting older. I know 287 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:33,120 but I love this wee village part of the town. I know you love this wee village part of the 288 00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:38,800 town but this town I don't know if it's safe anymore. Now listen are you speaking to that 289 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,520 wee boy because I can tell you that horse did not kick anybody. I don't know what wee 290 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:46,520 boy you're talking about. The horse did not kick anybody Tommy look me in the eyes. The 291 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:52,560 horses can kick people. For 47 years 47 years you've looked into these eyes. Do these eyes 292 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:58,080 look like somebody's lying to you? No darling you don't lie. Thank you Tommy give us a wee 293 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:05,680 kiss now. Mum why did you bring us to this house for the end of tour? It's really really 294 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:10,840 underwhelming there's nothing here. I didn't like the horses but at least there was a horse. 295 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:15,760 I don't know I just kept asking her how old the town was and she wouldn't tell us and 296 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:20,240 then she said we had to come to this house and just wait. She just left us here in the 297 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,760 garden. I don't know what we're waiting on. She just left us here in the garden. Like 298 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:32,200 it's getting dark. I'm actually kind of scared. Um Tommy Tommy I have something to tell you. 299 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:36,480 I know you say leave your work at home but or don't bring your work home sorry leave 300 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:43,000 it at work. I've brought some of the touries home with me. Oh darling I wish you'd said. 301 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:47,160 I had all my top hats today. They're in the garden. I know but if you'd let me know I 302 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:52,360 would have saved a few. Give them something to eat. No I'm just I've got nothing to offer 303 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:57,200 them. I feel worthless. Should we bring them in? And what leave them in the spare room? 304 00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,440 We'll bring them in here to the kitchen we'll have a wee chat with them. We'll stay and 305 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:04,960 over night or anything. Tommy don't be silly. I can't make small talk with strangers. I've 306 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,920 made small talk with them about the village all day but I didn't get to finish the tour 307 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,640 because of some man called Keith that just would when I sleep complain. Darling you're 308 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:17,120 a master at small talk. You're the only person I talk to. What am I going to say to people 309 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:20,880 who aren't you? Tommy shout out that window for them to come in. I'm not opening that 310 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:24,520 window. Shout out that window. No I won't open the window. I'll have to do it myself. 311 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:29,440 No I'll do it. I'll do it. Thank you. 312 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:32,960 Mum there's barbed wire on top of that fence. There's barbed wire on the top of the fence. 313 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:36,920 There's no way out. There's no way out. There's no gate. There's no gate. I know I know. There's 314 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:43,560 only that one way in. I don't know what to do. I think personally we should knock out 315 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:50,280 Keith because he's been weird all evening. This past at the tour? And then we use his 316 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:58,800 body to up over the barbed wire. I'm right here. And then climb up over it. Mum no no 317 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:04,360 we can't do that. We can't do that. I don't want to be stuck here in Dunbracken. Why'd 318 00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:08,040 you bring me to Dunbracken? I don't want to. 319 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:13,760 The tour company said it was the place to be. This was part of like a historical. I 320 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:18,120 thought we had learned a lot. She didn't even know how old the village was. She told us 321 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:23,120 that we had to walk down that one path and if we took one step off we'd know about it. 322 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:28,320 I mean what is going on here? I don't know. Keith would you hand me that bit of wood? 323 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:34,320 What? Hand me that bit of wood. Oh I can talk now can I? Hello? Hello did you see her talking 324 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:40,360 to me shouting out the window? Tommy shout again. Come on in. Oh you're so welcome you 325 00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:45,600 see I told you. Come on in. Who the hell's that? Tommy apparently. I'll just open the 326 00:25:45,600 --> 00:26:00,480 door for you. There's nothing to be scared of. There you go it's open. It's like six 327 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:06,240 locks. We're not going to go in. No we're not going in the house. 13. 13 locks? Just 328 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:10,400 trust your mother it'll be okay. Come on in as you walk in through the door you'll see 329 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:16,480 the 13 locks out your left okay? And this is one of the oldest houses in the village 330 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:21,720 part of the town. Come on in. Oh darling tell him how old it is. It is older than most of 331 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:34,440 the people in this village. Back to Dunbracken is created produced and edited by Connlith 332 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:43,640 McVeigh. For more information on the podcast you can follow us at Dunbracken pod on Instagram. 333 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:52,080 This episode featured Patrick Meyer, Laura Conlon, Rachel Coulter, James Geddes, Saul 334 00:26:52,080 --> 00:27:01,600 Greenberg, Christine Clark, Stephen McGlennan, Claire Nugent and Stephen Convill. The opening 335 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:06,320 and closing music was created by Connor Mallon and you can check out his entire album Unearth 336 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:12,200 on Spotify now. Thank you for listening we look forward to welcoming you back to Dunbracken 337 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:12,720 very soon.