1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,080 What sort of bike would you recommend? 2 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,960 I'm just looking for something for a commute. 3 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,760 Nothing too, you know, extravagant. 4 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,240 We have some blue ones over there. 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:15,240 Okay. 6 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:16,840 And what's the technical grade of the blue ones? 7 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,800 They, I'd say they'd be pretty good. 8 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:19,800 Yeah. 9 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:20,800 All right. 10 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:22,840 Do you get many people buying the blue ones? 11 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:27,480 Ah, well, some people buy the green ones too, but, uh, I suppose they'd be grand. 12 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:28,760 What's different about the green ones? 13 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,040 Well, they're green. 14 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,840 Yeah, well, what's different about them? 15 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:36,120 Well, from afar, I suppose the handlebars has a bell on the green one, but it doesn't 16 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,120 on the blue. 17 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,680 Would you be a musical person? 18 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,760 I'm not a musical person, but I'm a loud person. 19 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,640 I don't think I am, but my mom says I am. 20 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,120 She's always like, Oh, can you be quiet? 21 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:49,600 Sounds to me like your mom might want you to get the blue one. 22 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,400 Stop shouting, stop raising your voice at the table like that. 23 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,560 Well, you've been pretty quiet in here. 24 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,480 I've been thinking, I've been thinking about becoming a cyclist. 25 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:01,040 And I feel like cyclists are quiet. 26 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,240 So this is just a thought? 27 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:03,240 No, I can't. 28 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,320 You haven't been an experienced cyclist before. 29 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:06,320 I can't. 30 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,320 I can't. 31 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:08,320 No, I can ride a bike. 32 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:09,320 I've done the tests. 33 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,320 I've done the online tests. 34 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,880 I'm not one of these blue ones. 35 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,360 It's basically the same thing. 36 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,720 It's basically, I've paid seven pound. 37 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:16,720 Oh, I'll click this. 38 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:17,720 I'll click that. 39 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:19,640 I know how to get on a bike. 40 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,760 No proper material, proper shirts. 41 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:23,760 Sorry. 42 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:24,760 Get out until you've got it. 43 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:25,760 No, hold on. 44 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:30,960 How am I supposed to get on a bike if it's not put the leg over and then sit in the thing? 45 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:31,960 Well, it's put the leg. 46 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:32,960 Feet on pedals, let's go. 47 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:36,320 Well, how are you supposed to know how to do that when you've only been reading it? 48 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:37,320 Tell me this. 49 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:38,320 No, I've cycled. 50 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,320 I'm just not a commuter cycler. 51 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,320 Oh, okay, okay, okay. 52 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:45,440 I'm not on fucking stabilizers. 53 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,440 All right. 54 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,440 Yeah. 55 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,920 So is 99% of the cyclists in the world. 56 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:50,920 It's not a big feat. 57 00:01:50,920 --> 00:02:18,720 Welcome back to Dunbracken. 58 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:28,080 Where are you, Tom? 59 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:29,080 The wall? 60 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,080 Oh, you're hearing that too? 61 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:31,080 Good, good, good, good. 62 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,080 I thought it was just me. 63 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,080 No. 64 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,080 Yeah. 65 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,080 I'm trapped inside the wall. 66 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:41,280 Look, I was looking for, you know, when you find like loose cash down the side of the 67 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,280 couch. 68 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:43,280 Sorry, I didn't quite get that. 69 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:47,280 You know, when you're looking for loose change down the side of the couch. 70 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,920 Well, I thought no one ever checks in between the walls. 71 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:55,000 What if there's like loads of loose change in the walls? 72 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,480 Tom, how would loose change get into the walls? 73 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:03,200 Some walls have little slots in them, you know, little coin holes. 74 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,360 How does loose change get down the side of the couch? 75 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,840 If you're short of money, you could have just asked. 76 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:09,840 No, I can't. 77 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:10,840 I can't just ask. 78 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:11,840 It doesn't work that way. 79 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:12,840 I need to earn my own money. 80 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:13,840 I need to find my own money. 81 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:14,840 I can't just ask. 82 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,840 I need to earn my own money. 83 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:18,840 I can't just ask for it. 84 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,200 Hey, Tom, I'm going to be honest. 85 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,440 You living in the wall doesn't mean you get out of paying rent. 86 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,880 You still have to pay for your room. 87 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,480 No, look, I'm a wall boy now. 88 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:29,480 I'm at the wall. 89 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,480 No, I see this. 90 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:31,480 I knew this was his angle. 91 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:32,480 I knew this was going to be his angle. 92 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,480 No, it wasn't. 93 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,480 It's just to find change. 94 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,480 It's not. 95 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:39,400 It's not an elaborate scheme to get out of paying rent again. 96 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:44,120 Because to be honest, the walls cover more square footage of the house. 97 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,960 So if anything, your rent would actually go up. 98 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,320 And we could also get another person in for Tom's room. 99 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:50,320 So. 100 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,760 But Tom, how did you get inside the wall? 101 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,760 From a deposit perspective? 102 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,360 Like a cash deposit? 103 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:01,360 Did you make a hole in the wall in your room? 104 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,360 No. 105 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,360 No. 106 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,360 My room is normal. 107 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:12,280 And if you go into my room and you see the big poster that I have on my wall. 108 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,280 The big sexy David Hasselhoff poster. 109 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,080 The big sexy David Hasselhoff poster. 110 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,080 It's always been there. 111 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,160 I've always had it. 112 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,760 You know I love David Hasselhoff. 113 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,440 You know he's my icon. 114 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,480 Just leave it the way it is, OK? 115 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:29,180 I was looking at it earlier and I just I thought it was like 3D. 116 00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:31,640 But because like there's a little bit of movement in it. 117 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,440 I thought it was just the waves and stuff. 118 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,400 But now I'm thinking it's the air. 119 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:41,440 Is that is that why you got those those rock chiseling equipment ordered from Amazon there 120 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,440 last month? 121 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:47,160 No, no, that was for my extra-policular activities outside of the house. 122 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,440 I'm going to be honest. 123 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,760 Rock chiseling seemed extensive for drywall. 124 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,560 Like you could have punched the wall, Tom. 125 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,520 So did I waste my money? 126 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,520 Tom, I'd have interest. 127 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,840 I mean, how much money have you found? 128 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,600 You know, you don't always find things immediately. 129 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:04,600 You've got to. 130 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,800 It's a bit of a scavenger hunt. 131 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,680 And to be fair, just because you find money in the wall means that someone has probably 132 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,680 put money specifically in the wall because it's a good hiding place. 133 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,440 The money that you find is probably somebody else's money. 134 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,600 That's not how money works at all. 135 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,920 I think you'll have to divide it for. 136 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,280 No, I don't think he actually will. 137 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:26,120 I think you'll just have to give it to the rightful owner of the place, the money in 138 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,120 the wall. 139 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,960 What if someone comes back here looking for that money? 140 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:36,160 You're making this sound so elaborate, like some kind of crazy Russian mafia is like, 141 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,600 you know, used to live in this house back in the 80s. 142 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:42,240 And they they like left a big duffel bag of money in the wall. 143 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:46,560 No, I'm saying that the wall is a really good hiding spot for a small bag of money that 144 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:47,560 someone might have put there. 145 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:48,560 And it's their money. 146 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:49,560 It's their money. 147 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,440 OK, you seem to know an awful lot about this money. 148 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:56,000 Well, if he finds money, it's clearly not his money. 149 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,000 Clearly someone has put it there for a rainy day. 150 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,200 And yes, of like any time he's been doing side jobs and side hustles, he's been putting 151 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,760 money behind the wall because no one's going to look behind the wall because it's a crazy 152 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:05,760 thing to do. 153 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,400 We'll just go check behind Colin's room real quick. 154 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,360 We won't be able to identify it, so we'll just have to divide it four ways. 155 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,960 No, actually, I think you'll find that it was probably, I don't know, say who belongs 156 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,480 to each and every individual note because the person didn't want to be found. 157 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,360 But if it was found, they wanted to make sure that it was clearly labeled as to who it is. 158 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,920 And yes, they did get overboard on a label maker and the money might be not working now 159 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,040 because they've been labeled so much. 160 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,680 It's a person's money who put it in that you don't you don't get money out of a bank and 161 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,360 say it's my money now, do you? 162 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:39,000 Well, would we need to tell Mr Gorski, the landlord, that we find money in the vaults? 163 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,960 I think we might need to report Colin to the landlord for like, he's trying to get out 164 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:43,960 of paying rent, I think. 165 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,120 I'm not trying to get out of paying rent. 166 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:46,120 I'm trying to hide my money. 167 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,120 I mean, I'm trying to, someone's just trying to hide money. 168 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,000 Someone's just trying to hide money. 169 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,880 Oh yeah, guys, there's a duffle bag of money here behind Colin's room. 170 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,480 So how did you get the money into the wall? 171 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,600 Is this why you ordered that rock chiseling set two months ago? 172 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,960 Yeah, and I realized it was too much because it's drywall. 173 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,520 I could have just punched straight through it. 174 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,240 Is that why you have that sexy top selling poster in your room? 175 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,680 No, very different reasons. 176 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:10,680 Oh. 177 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,480 Now tell me this, on your commute, are we hitting main roads? 178 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:21,880 Are we hitting dual carriageways? 179 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:22,880 Is it back roads? 180 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,000 Well, I've not done it on a bike before. 181 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,840 I think it's mostly main roads. 182 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,720 I don't know if there's any shortcuts. 183 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:33,160 I don't know if there's any grassy verges I can go across because then I'd need an off-roader. 184 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,240 Look, I'm trying to do the best here. 185 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,920 Should we get Google Maps up and have a look? 186 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,560 You need to come to me with the details. 187 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,080 Do you want me to cycle it for you as well? 188 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,960 I just wanted advice. 189 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,040 I'm new to buying bikes. 190 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,240 Normally the bikes I cycle are stolen. 191 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,720 Okay, typical. 192 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:48,720 Criminal. 193 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,800 Criminal thinks that they want to change up and become a cyclist for a minute. 194 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,640 The compute's probably to escape, is it? 195 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,000 I needed to try bikes before I buy bikes. 196 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,420 This isn't a try before you buy industry. 197 00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:04,000 This is for people who are dedicated, born with the thrill of cycling. 198 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,440 Not looking to sell bikes. 199 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,480 I'm looking to buy a bike as a one time thing. 200 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:08,480 You've come to the right place. 201 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:09,480 Yeah. 202 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,840 Love, I hear you talking in the back in there. 203 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:12,840 What's going on out here? 204 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,840 Oh, hello love. 205 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:14,840 How can we help you? 206 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,560 She's another one of these online halyans. 207 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,240 Oh, for God's sake. 208 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,240 I paid seven pound. 209 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,040 I could have done it for free. 210 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:24,200 Ah yeah, click click and then you're cycling free, aren't you? 211 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,840 I sure have told her it all before. 212 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:26,840 All right, right. 213 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:31,120 Look, we're happy enough to sell things to you as long as you got your cycling license. 214 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,120 That's no problem at all. 215 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,120 License. 216 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:34,120 I? 217 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,120 License. 218 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,120 Oh, I? 219 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,120 You know, it's like a weak card. 220 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,400 Yeah, but I'm, I'm cycling because I can't get my driver's license. 221 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,960 Sounds to me like she's doing it illegally. 222 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,240 Doesn't aid love, doesn't aid. 223 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:46,720 Look, we've got another option for you and I don't know if you're interested in this 224 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,440 now because you sound like you've got your own thing sorted out. 225 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,040 I thought I wanted the green one. 226 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,520 We can still get that for you, but you need to go through the cycling school. 227 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:58,920 We've got the cones in the back ready to go now, but it's entirely up to your choice. 228 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,280 We can't, we can't force you. 229 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,920 No, don't be, don't be putting pressure on me like that. 230 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,280 You can't just spring something like that on a person. 231 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,040 You know, I paid seven pounds. 232 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,280 I'm basically a cyclist. 233 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:12,720 I still have to go in the payments because I'm a bit nervous of the cars and the buses 234 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,300 and the other cyclists. 235 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,300 It's all in principle. 236 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:18,000 I'm sorry to tell you love, but you've been scammed out of that seven pound. 237 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,840 You may as well, well got the bus. 238 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,440 See those, see those scams online. 239 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:22,440 They're right, aren't they? 240 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:23,440 Oh, they're fucking awful. 241 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,440 Oh, they're right. 242 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,440 I love by the way they go. 243 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,440 Cheers love. 244 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,080 I'm still on stabilizers. 245 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,080 I'm sorry. 246 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,080 Now you've got to the source. 247 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,600 Now we're sucking diesel. 248 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,600 Good stuff. 249 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,760 Hey, follow me to aisle three where I'll show you the stabilizers. 250 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,720 No, I don't humiliate me. 251 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,200 Give me a two wheel bike. 252 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,760 We've got nice green ones now. 253 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,080 Big chunky wheels, big chunky wheels. 254 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,400 So I'm not going to fall over. 255 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,840 Look, this, this doll doesn't know what she's talking about. 256 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:51,200 She says to me that she wants to commute, but then she says that she wants a chunky wheel. 257 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,520 We patched us scared. 258 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:53,520 It's all right now. 259 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:54,520 Is this baby's first bike? 260 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:55,520 Yeah, baby's first bike. 261 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,520 First purchased bike. 262 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,400 I've stolen bikes in the past, but they're mostly from children. 263 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,400 We'll show you into it light love. 264 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,400 Don't you worry. 265 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,360 You won't be doing that illegal stuff no more. 266 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,080 Can I get wee streamers for the handlebars? 267 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,560 We'll get you anything you want. 268 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:07,560 We have it all. 269 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:08,560 Do you want a wee cup of tea as well love? 270 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:09,800 Do you want two sugars in it? 271 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,280 No, sugar's too strong for me. 272 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,040 Do you want to take a wee seat and we'll get streamers for you? 273 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,360 I didn't expect this to bring up so much emotions for me. 274 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:18,360 Don't be worried. 275 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,360 Don't be worrying. 276 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:20,360 You're worth the best in the business. 277 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,360 I mean, you are the only bike shop in the 10 mile radius. 278 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,360 As I said, best in the business. 279 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,360 Hi there. 280 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:39,280 Are you currently plagued by a banshee? 281 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:47,760 Or perhaps you have accidentally stumbled upon a pot of gold and upon touching it were 282 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:51,840 cursed forevermore by a leprechaun. 283 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:59,680 To be rich but to never find love, which is richer than money. 284 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:07,200 Perhaps you crossed paths with a puka and a puka rode alongside you and startled your 285 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:14,720 living horse so much that it refused to complete in the grand derby and you're out of a lot 286 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:20,080 of money in the crime law that has loaned you the money is coming tomorrow. 287 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:25,880 You collect good on your deal. 288 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:36,840 Well fear not friend for I am Clive bubbles expert 72 year old demonologist and I can 289 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,720 rid you of anything you believe is chasing you. 290 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:49,560 And if you're not entirely satisfied with my services, you don't have to pay me a dime 291 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:54,120 or a penny or a cent. 292 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,520 Don't just take my word for it. 293 00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:04,000 Here from some of my previous customers. 294 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:10,520 Clive bubbles, I'm going to find you and I'm going to kill you. 295 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:16,000 You ruined my life Clive bubbles. 296 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:23,720 It was George smolders who when I realized he was housing a fourth level incubus inside 297 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:24,720 his body. 298 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:32,760 I stabbed in the chest right there and then in his demonic sexual glands killing George 299 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:39,800 instantly sending the incubus back to the depths of hell from whence it came. 300 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:44,720 I don't believe it was really George smolders who wanted to kill me but the incubus that 301 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:52,640 was living and residing in him as if he was a home for a demon. 302 00:12:52,640 --> 00:13:01,520 I will take care of any one and any demon no questions asked when George's wife came 303 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:02,520 to me. 304 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:07,680 She claimed that she had been possessed by that very same incubus which caused her to 305 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:10,120 sleep with her friend James. 306 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:17,920 But thankfully the incubus had recently moved from her into her husband Gerald. 307 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:24,640 Gerald's wife is now living with James and she's never been happier that the incubus 308 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,720 is out of her life. 309 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:36,000 You too can be happy and I will solve any problem no questions asked. 310 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:52,360 Live bubbles private investigator and expert 72 year old demonologist. 311 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,680 So you did feel when you hit the chicken. 312 00:13:55,680 --> 00:14:01,000 That probably wasn't and I know that it's not in the highway code but unfortunately 313 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:06,280 any fatalities do count as a major. 314 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,480 Don't do this. 315 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,320 You don't have to do this. 316 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,440 Sylvia I have to. 317 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:20,560 If you feel me I will I will commit vehicular manslaughter. 318 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,560 You've done it once Sylvia. 319 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,600 I'll do it again. 320 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:28,160 Roberta you can't call a chicken vehicular manslaughter. 321 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,720 That's just not fair. 322 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,120 Thank you. 323 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,120 Thank you Stephanie. 324 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,120 You're welcome. 325 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,120 You're welcome Sylvia. 326 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:41,520 Yeah okay Stephanie I appreciate you sat in as her instructor in on the test as a distraction 327 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,560 method but I would say that's partially why Sylvia hit the chicken. 328 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:49,200 Yes I was trying to be like you don't know what's going to happen. 329 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,840 So I was being a great distraction method. 330 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:55,680 You kept popping that paper bag in my ear to be like at any moment you could die. 331 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:59,520 I did those police siren noises at any moment you could get arrested at any moment you could 332 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:00,520 die. 333 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:01,880 Yeah yeah you also distraction method. 334 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:07,120 You also like tied that rubber band around my left arm so it kind of went numb to simulate 335 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:08,440 an impending heart attack. 336 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,440 You might have a stroke at any moment driving the road. 337 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:11,440 What are you going to do? 338 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,440 Fuck shit. 339 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:17,480 Your driving test should be the hardest time you will ever have to drive and if you pass 340 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,080 that you can drive anywhere. 341 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,360 Stephanie as the invigilator. 342 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:23,360 You don't even know. 343 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,280 You don't even know who we are what we've been through. 344 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,600 How hard I've worked for this. 345 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,720 I've been trying to learn how to drive for three weeks. 346 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,320 Three weeks every single day. 347 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,880 Every single day sometimes for six hours at a time. 348 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:35,880 Yeah. 349 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:36,880 I've pissed myself. 350 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:37,880 No. 351 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:38,880 Yeah. 352 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:39,880 Oh god this is a test car. 353 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,440 This is a car specifically for the test. 354 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,040 Was that whenever I popped the balloon in your ear? 355 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:46,840 That was whenever you tried to drown me. 356 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,840 Drank a lot of the water. 357 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,080 You might get drowned at any moment driving a car. 358 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:56,640 Stephanie I have not seen an instructor like this in my entire time as an invigilator. 359 00:15:56,640 --> 00:16:02,480 Yeah well not many people know that the driving test should be the hardest driving of your 360 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,480 life. 361 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:07,080 Yes but as the person who is passing or failing the students. 362 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,080 Yeah. 363 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:09,080 I get to determine that. 364 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,080 I choose the routes. 365 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,480 I say when we're doing the emergency stop. 366 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,440 You're turning this into like a total wipeout style obstacle course. 367 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:16,880 No it's never supposed to be. 368 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:17,880 You're never going to find yourself in the middle of something. 369 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,160 Did you put the chicken on the road? 370 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,160 No I didn't. 371 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:24,760 Stephanie that has all the hallmarks of your strategy and I thank you for it. 372 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,840 I didn't put the chicken on the road. 373 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:30,400 I put a box of chickens by the side of the road. 374 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,560 Come what may those chickens are going to do what they want. 375 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:33,560 You know? 376 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:37,280 Did you not see like the other six that were just by the side of the road being like oh 377 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:38,280 no. 378 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,560 There's a lot of stuff going on here. 379 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,840 It's a lot like Mario Kart and I'm just trying to focus. 380 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,880 Listen when I tried to get a driving instructor I was like I don't want someone who's just 381 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:46,880 going to teach me how to drive. 382 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,000 I want someone who's going to teach me how to live. 383 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,000 That's why I chose Stephanie. 384 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:55,520 For three weeks you've been learning how to live and at any moment danger could come 385 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:56,520 for you. 386 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:57,520 Danger could come. 387 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:58,520 That's my slogan. 388 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,640 You have done a test within three weeks of starting to drive. 389 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:02,640 And have I not done? 390 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:03,640 With all of this going on. 391 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:07,360 Yes you've done amazingly well but you have killed a chicken in front of me. 392 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,360 Pot? 393 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,360 Might I point out? 394 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:12,520 If Stephanie was better at distracting me and I didn't see it and you put it down to 395 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,560 a pothole then maybe I wouldn't have had to put it down as a major. 396 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:19,920 Might I point out that there were six chickens by the side of the road that Sylvie did not 397 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:24,040 murder so you could have swerved to miss that one and killed six? 398 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,040 That is a good point. 399 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,280 We've been studying philosophy particularly the trolley problem. 400 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:32,280 Yes but it's hard to get people so chickens. 401 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:36,960 Oh so Stephanie your original plan was to use people. 402 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:41,320 At any moment it's more likely for you to hit a person than it is for you to hit a tree. 403 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:45,960 You know I raise the point that as we are not a trolley we can steer this thing and 404 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,680 we have more than two options. 405 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:48,680 I would like to think so. 406 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,120 But Stephanie actually completely changed my mind on that. 407 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:54,200 It's a really clever point. 408 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:58,120 The road is your track and you can only go where it warrants. 409 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:02,840 Stephanie on my other page I have been keeping a track and now this isn't formal by any means 410 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,920 but I have been keeping a track of your majors and minors also. 411 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:06,920 That's fine. 412 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:12,040 We're on 42 majors and I might put this into a... 413 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,040 Please? 414 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:17,080 I might turn this in whenever we get back to the test centre to try and revoke your 415 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:18,080 teacher's license. 416 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,080 Wow. 417 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,080 As an instructor. 418 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,160 That's incredible Roberta. 419 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:27,840 I might tell them what I think of you which is that you're a damn fine invigilator. 420 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,840 Thank you very much. 421 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:29,840 Stephanie that's... 422 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:33,760 At any moment you might receive a compliment and you have to be prepared for it. 423 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,240 She always does this. 424 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,880 She always backs down. 425 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:37,880 No. 426 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,040 As it stands you have failed your test. 427 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,040 No! 428 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,040 As we have discussed. 429 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,040 However... 430 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,040 All because of the chicken? 431 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,040 Gone again. 432 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,640 All because of Stephanie's actions. 433 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,560 However, I am willing to off the record. 434 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:52,560 Okay? 435 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,080 Stephanie if you forfeit your instructor's license. 436 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,080 No. 437 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:57,080 I will pass you. 438 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,080 Sorry what do I do at roundabout? 439 00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,080 We're coming up high here fast. 440 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,080 Go straight through it. 441 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,080 Okay thanks. 442 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,080 At any moment... 443 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,080 Okay we're good. 444 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,080 At any moment... 445 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,080 Oh fuck there's two of them. 446 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,080 It's a fucking infinity. 447 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,080 Oh no. 448 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,080 Just keep going round. 449 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,080 Just keep going round. 450 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,080 Keep going faster and faster until you get your car. 451 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:17,080 At any moment you might be threatened. 452 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:22,080 At any moment you might be flagged. 453 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,520 Sylvia do you accept the terms? 454 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:27,600 There's a highway on the right but on the left there's a road closed and a big ramp. 455 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,600 What should I do? 456 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:29,600 You know what to do. 457 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:30,600 You've known inside you. 458 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:31,600 Weeeee! 459 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:36,480 Okay we've got some air time here. 460 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,840 We've got some time. 461 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:43,000 Are you willing to give this license before we drop to the ground? 462 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,000 No. 463 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,000 Well we tried. 464 00:19:45,000 --> 00:20:00,000 I've broken both the legs. 465 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:05,480 Well it's okay because I can still use the pedals on my side so if you're still able 466 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,040 to steer we can get on like that. 467 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,680 I can hit you in your arm with this pin. 468 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:11,680 Stephanie. 469 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:12,680 Stephanie. 470 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:13,680 Stephanie. 471 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:14,680 Don't make me get back there. 472 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:15,680 Stephanie. 473 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:16,680 Do you need me to belt you in with the other belts? 474 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:17,680 No three was enough. 475 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:18,680 Exactly. 476 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:24,120 But all I'm saying is someone with two broken legs that looks poorly on you to go back and 477 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:28,520 say that not only do they not have a license but they have two broken legs. 478 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:29,520 Oh hold on. 479 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:30,520 Let me swivel. 480 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:35,280 Let me stick my hands down on the pedals. 481 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,280 We're off again. 482 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,160 You're gonna have to direct me. 483 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,120 Just keep doing what feels right to you. 484 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:42,120 Accelerator always. 485 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,120 Oh Sylvia. 486 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,120 Good. 487 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,120 I've taught you well. 488 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,360 This is a 30 zone. 489 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,360 Keep going. 490 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:49,840 Outside of a school so you know what that means. 491 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,320 Bonus points for tile death. 492 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:56,480 Listen we have lived so many lives in the last three weeks. 493 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:57,480 We did acid. 494 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:58,480 Behind the wheel? 495 00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,480 No. 496 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:00,480 It was just in the car park. 497 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,480 Well that's fine. 498 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,360 That's okay Sylvia. 499 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,500 Give her the license. 500 00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:05,800 Give Sylvia the license. 501 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:06,800 Give me a license. 502 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:07,800 Give me back yours. 503 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:08,800 No. 504 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:09,800 As an instructor. 505 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:10,800 I will never do that. 506 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,760 Actually I changed my mind. 507 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:16,640 I will do that because I don't need a license to teach. 508 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,080 Yeah anyone can teach. 509 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,080 Anyone can teach. 510 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,440 You're not gonna be able to put students through the driving test. 511 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,440 That's fine. 512 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,680 I'll just do it under the table or under the car. 513 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,440 You don't know where your next money's coming from. 514 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,040 You have to be prepared for anything. 515 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,880 Well congratulations Sylvia. 516 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,960 I'm delighted to say that you have passed. 517 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:38,720 I just need you both to sign these NDAs about what has happened in the car today because 518 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,040 otherwise I would get my invigilator license revoked. 519 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,040 Good. 520 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,360 I hope you understand. 521 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,320 Go straight into the wall. 522 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,360 Gunning it. 523 00:21:47,360 --> 00:22:13,920 And I think you'll find another Polaroid with every single piece of money. 524 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,120 There's no way that you can disprove that it isn't mine. 525 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:21,920 There's literally every single individual, there's at least four thousand pounds in here. 526 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:26,760 There's a duffel bag of money and a duffel bag of Polaroids for every single piece of 527 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:27,760 money in there. 528 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,920 And all the money is labeled. 529 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,440 So this is my money. 530 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:33,440 I need that money. 531 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,720 Well I hope the landlord's gonna accept your labeled money when we have to pay for two 532 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,880 fucking walls being put back in. 533 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,880 I'm not saying I'm paying for it. 534 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,360 That's my money for a rainy day. 535 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:48,920 For if anyone comes for me. 536 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:49,920 That's fine. 537 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:53,120 That's why they're all labeled. 538 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,760 There's two defenses in this. 539 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:55,760 Hang on. 540 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:56,760 Taking a step backwards though. 541 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,080 You said saving it for a rainy day. 542 00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,080 We live in Ireland. 543 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,080 Every day is a rainy day. 544 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,080 I know. 545 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,080 What? 546 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,080 Why are they pounds? 547 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,520 Because it's the best currency. 548 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:08,440 Okay, it was the best currency and then I really lost out really quickly. 549 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,680 That was a bit short-sighted, wasn't it? 550 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:11,680 It was. 551 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,600 Guys, I'm in a lot of trouble. 552 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,600 Oh, now we're getting to it. 553 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,560 Why are you in trouble? 554 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:18,560 Russian mob. 555 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:19,560 I knew it. 556 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:20,560 God damn it. 557 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:21,560 I knew I wasn't crazy. 558 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:26,120 I knew I could smell money in the walls. 559 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:31,440 Look, okay, I found the duffel bag and then it turned out it was the Russian mob's money 560 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:35,840 and I thought, hey, if I take a photo of me and label every single one of them. 561 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:40,240 It couldn't be the Russian mob's money because you've labeled it and taken all those photos. 562 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:41,240 Why do they have pounds? 563 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,440 And if you'll see, every Polaroid has a newspaper with it. 564 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,080 How much money have you spent on film? 565 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,640 I'll say I had more money at the start. 566 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:50,640 And newspapers? 567 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,080 I've been using them as insulation. 568 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,080 The house has been very warm. 569 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,600 The landlord's going to hate us. 570 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,320 We've been nothing but good tenants. 571 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,240 We cover up any hole we make. 572 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,240 With a poster. 573 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:04,240 With a poster. 574 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,240 You know, you two still have posters in your room. 575 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,240 I've seen those, you know. 576 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,240 Yeah, so what? 577 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,240 Everyone's got posters. 578 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,240 There's no one behind my poster. 579 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,240 I'm going to go climb around Gary's room. 580 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:13,240 Yeah. 581 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,840 There's no need to do that. 582 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,840 We're focused on one thing right now. 583 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,040 Four months ago we did order rock chiseling equipment. 584 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:23,640 Yeah, but I've got an actual interest in rocks and minerals. 585 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:27,520 Guys, you're never going to believe this. 586 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:31,960 Those two duffel bags full of cash by Gary's room. 587 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:32,960 You're never going to believe this. 588 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:33,960 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 589 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:34,960 Are they labeled? 590 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:35,960 He's written on all the bookshoppies. 591 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:36,960 Don't, don't. 592 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,360 He's written on all the bookshoppies. 593 00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:40,360 Don't read it. 594 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,360 He's signed every single one. 595 00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:42,360 Don't read them. 596 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,960 And they all have an individual poem written on each note as well. 597 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,560 Look, I thought it would legitimize my claim to the money. 598 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,920 I found two duffel bags of money. 599 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:52,920 From who? 600 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,160 I don't know who owns it. 601 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,160 Are they pounds? 602 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,160 No, it's dollars. 603 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,160 Dollars, yeah. 604 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,160 Dollars. 605 00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,160 Oh. 606 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:00,160 Well, I can't be the Russian mob at least. 607 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,160 We know that much. 608 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,440 Because I knew it was the Russian mob because they started knocking on doors. 609 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:05,720 Very polite people though, so. 610 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,400 They were just asking for duffel bags. 611 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:13,400 Well, funny when I was walking past your room earlier this week and I thought your big massive 612 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,120 Ted Danson poster, you know, it looked almost 3D. 613 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:18,120 Almost like it was moving. 614 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:19,120 Yeah. 615 00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:21,920 I thought, I didn't think you'd ever find out. 616 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,920 Oh God. 617 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,280 Who's that? 618 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,960 I really hope this is a baby at the door. 619 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:29,960 Hello. 620 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:30,960 Hello. 621 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:31,960 Spasiba. 622 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:32,960 Hello. 623 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:33,960 I am here for money. 624 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:44,880 So we need, we need more cones. 625 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:45,880 More. 626 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:46,880 That's what I'm telling you. 627 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:47,880 Right. 628 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,240 You can't learn these bikes if you don't know the cones. 629 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:51,960 Okay, the bigger cones. 630 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:52,960 The big cones. 631 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:53,960 The biggest. 632 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,520 Now you kids listen to me. 633 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,160 I'm Bikey Daren. 634 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,360 And I'm going to tell you what's what. 635 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:00,760 Hi Bikey Daren. 636 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,000 Thank you for using my full title. 637 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,200 I refuse being called a child. 638 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,240 I just regressed a little bit earlier. 639 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:10,080 Look, what I'm telling you is now is the key to cycling success. 640 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,040 This is how you never get caught by no cops. 641 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,720 If you decide to stay in the pavement your whole life. 642 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:15,720 Cones. 643 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,440 Do the cops not have cars? 644 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:18,440 They do. 645 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,560 But sure, a car can't get on the pavement. 646 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,040 And if you stay up there, you're safe. 647 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:29,960 Bikey Daren, if I put a little card on the spokes of my wheels and it goes across the 648 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:35,400 thing on the back of the wheels and my car sounds like a motorbike, is that okay? 649 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,400 I'll tell you what that says. 650 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:38,880 It's fucking cool. 651 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:39,880 Yeah. 652 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,920 You, you went to the top of the class. 653 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,120 Oh my god, does that mean I don't have stabilizers anymore? 654 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:48,200 No, but you're going to keep them until I know you're not going to hurt your little 655 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:49,200 noggin. 656 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,200 Okay, sorry. 657 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,200 Bikey Daren. 658 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,880 Bikey Daren, can I put knives on my spokes? 659 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,560 That's especially good whenever the police come for you. 660 00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,200 Yeah, unless no one can get too close and burn my rubber. 661 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:03,720 Yeah, so if you're in another competition, you say you're in a street race and there's 662 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:08,920 someone coming up too close to you, the knives will cut through his little fucking stupid 663 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:09,920 baseball cards. 664 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,240 That's just what I was thinking about. 665 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:17,400 Bikey Daren, because I'm more senior than these ones, is it okay if I attach a gun 666 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,400 to my bike? 667 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:22,440 Look, I'm going to tell you what I told the last person who wanted to put a gun in their 668 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:23,560 bike. 669 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:24,560 Just hold it in your hand. 670 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,520 Yeah, but I went for the one that doesn't have a little bell. 671 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:28,520 Oh, well then. 672 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:29,520 Jesus. 673 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:30,520 I put it in the handlebars. 674 00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:31,520 I have space for it. 675 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,000 If you, why would you let them know you're coming with a little bell when you could shoot 676 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,000 them in the back? 677 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000 That's clever. 678 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,000 You're the new favourite. 679 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:42,440 Bikey Daren, can I have a horn instead of a bell, but like a truck horn? 680 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:46,960 Oh, so you have to pull on it and go honk, honk like a duck? 681 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:47,960 Errrr, errrr. 682 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:48,960 Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. 683 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:49,960 That's what you're thinking. 684 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:50,960 Jesus. 685 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:51,960 You're my new favourite. 686 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:53,960 No one will think I'm a wee bike. 687 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,000 No one will think you're a big truck. 688 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,480 No police will come after a big truck. 689 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:01,800 Bikey Daren, can I get my car driver's licence? 690 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:02,800 Do you have that gun? 691 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:07,240 And have a real car instead so I can drive around in a real car and drive on the pavements 692 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:08,240 and maybe... 693 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:20,120 You dirty cunt! 694 00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:24,360 Back to Dumbraken is created, produced and edited by Connalth Macbeth. 695 00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:32,320 For more information and podcasts, you can follow us at DumbrakenPod on Instagram. 696 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:40,560 This episode featured Laura Conlon, Cairnsands, Eddie Goodwin, Rachel Coulter, Niall McKenna, 697 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:46,000 Adam Crossan, David McCauley and Kate Thompson. 698 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:51,200 The opening and closing music was created by Conor Mallon and you can check out his 699 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:54,560 entire album Unearthed on Spotify now. 700 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,400 Thank you for listening. 701 00:28:56,400 --> 00:29:21,600 We look forward to welcoming you back to Dumbraken very soon.