1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,440 Hello, welcome to the seafood restaurant. Table for free. 2 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:09,440 Yeah, three. 3 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,960 We didn't do a reservation, would that be a mission? 4 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:16,800 Oh, that's no bother at all. We've got plenty of tables. We've actually got no customers 5 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,760 in at the moment, so you'll be the first. 6 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,880 It's really empty in here, actually. 7 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:24,000 Doesn't matter, one bit, I say. Come on in, grab a seat. 8 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,000 Okay. 9 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,000 And I'll get the fish on. 10 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,200 Wait, you're the chef too? 11 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:33,240 Oh yes, I'm the chef, I'm the waiter, I'm the cleaner, and I'm just happy to serve you 12 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,240 here today. 13 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,320 Sorry, your eyes are very red. Have you been crying? 14 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,560 I am allergic to shellfish, yes. 15 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:41,040 You have a shellfish allergy and you're... 16 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,480 This is a seafood restaurant. 17 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:45,640 But we're the only seafood restaurant in Dunbracken, you see? 18 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:46,640 That's true, yeah. 19 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:51,720 That's true. And I'm a businessman at heart, so I want to make your money. And at the risk 20 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,520 of my own life, so be it. 21 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,760 Okay, yeah, okay. Cheers. 22 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:58,840 It's really dark in here, there's not that many lights on. Why? 23 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:03,360 I have a full fish tank in the back, it's taking a lot of the power from the restaurant. 24 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,760 Also are the seats just these barrels? 25 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,400 It's authentic, like the sea. 26 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,880 But the barrels are actually taller than the tables, these are like whiskey barrels. 27 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,400 You've really not been on a ship before, have you? The barrels are massive. 28 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,400 I have an atrium. 29 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,880 Is that a requirement for eating here? 30 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:21,560 Of course, yes. Small tables, big barrels. Let me get you some water. 31 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:31,160 Three glasses of the finest seawater, here you go. One, two, three. 32 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,160 Thanks. 33 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,160 There's salt in this. 34 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,160 It's just salt water. 35 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:38,960 That's right, I told you, it's seawater. It compliments the fish really well. 36 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:39,960 This is seawater. 37 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,480 I just grabbed it from the sea, yeah. 38 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:45,400 Sorry, when you say the sea, do you just mean the hole in the floor there? 39 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,520 And I've written the sea next to it, which means... 40 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:49,520 Oh, it's yours? 41 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:50,520 It's the sea. 42 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,560 Isn't there like a sewage runoff, like a mile up the coast? 43 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,360 I'm going to get the menus for you now. 44 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:57,360 Okay, thanks. 45 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:23,360 Welcome back to Dunbracken. 46 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:28,360 Hey, how's it going? 47 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:29,360 Um, well... 48 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:34,760 Okay, well, I don't know if you guys heard, I'm trying to bring the town fair back. 49 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:35,760 Exciting, right? 50 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:39,760 Well, after what happened the last time, I'm not sure it's a very good idea. 51 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:45,360 Don't worry, it won't happen again. The fire marshal has been in contact with me and 52 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,840 we're making some changes. We're keeping a lot of things the same. 53 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:53,280 And what I was thinking is that you guys might be interested in running the food truck. 54 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,040 Great, great. Money making opportunity. 55 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:59,440 Didn't the fire start in a food truck the last time? 56 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,880 One of them did, yes. 57 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:01,880 It was a chip pan fire? 58 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:02,880 Honestly, um... 59 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:03,880 And we run the fish and chip shop. 60 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:08,280 Well, that's right. That's why I'm looking for more qualified people this time. 61 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,880 What do you think? 62 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:17,280 All I can think is I heard whoever was running that chip pan, inadvertently, the panic stuck 63 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:22,040 their head into the chip pan. They were deep fried alive. 64 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:28,320 Alan, all we know is that someone's head was in a deep fry. We don't know if it was pre-panic, 65 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:33,200 post-panic. We don't know if it was one of the chefs. It doesn't matter. It won't happen 66 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:37,880 to you two. You two, look at you two. You're cool as cucumbers. 67 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:44,480 The last time someone in the position you're asking us to take on was so mutilated that 68 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:45,480 they couldn't be identified. 69 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:49,320 I believe they could be identified. They just didn't want to talk to me about who the victims 70 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:50,320 were. 71 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,280 No one was identified. It's just... 72 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:53,280 Dental records? 73 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:57,920 I don't know. The police just said, we will tell you what you need to know. And I didn't 74 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,920 need to know that. 75 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:11,560 I got the quote back for the car insurer. It went up 50 quid on top. Jesus. 76 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:12,560 For one accident. 77 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:13,560 There's no accidents? 78 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,040 All right, for one misdemeanor then. Well... 79 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:17,040 Did you tell them about it? 80 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,040 By accident. 81 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,040 Ah, that's where the... 82 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:24,680 I put the wipers on when it wasn't raining. And apparently I'm no longer in control of 83 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:25,680 the vehicle. 84 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,360 And did he even check the other fella's wipers? 85 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,880 Damn, I ain't sure he had any. 86 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:29,880 Well, not after you hit him. 87 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,840 Well, no, they flew off. They were miles away at that point. But, uh, 50 quid. 88 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,560 Not a week or a month. 89 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:36,560 Per annum? 90 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:37,560 Jesus. 91 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,160 No. I can afford it. We all know I can afford it. 92 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,160 Of course you can. 93 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,160 But it's a principal of it. 94 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,160 Oh, of course, yeah. 95 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,160 You know. 96 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,160 For one thing? 97 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,960 I could've gone to someone else intentionally because they looked at me funny. Head on. 98 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,960 Like, come on. 99 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:56,680 Stalking them for six hours around town to finally get them perfectly head on. 100 00:04:56,680 --> 00:05:02,520 Hey, to be fair to me, it was my day off. So I could spend the time however I pleased. 101 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:03,520 Of course. 102 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:07,640 What? That's where the, uh, the legal cookie crumbles, I guess. 103 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,600 Should've said it was on business. Sure they would've. 104 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:11,600 I could've claimed it back. 105 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,600 Ah, said you're a private investigator. Sure you're just doing dougie diligence. 106 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,600 Aye. 107 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,600 But alas, no. 108 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:18,600 Aye. 109 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:19,600 Jesus. 110 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,400 We don't need a private investigator to find him now. He's been in hospital the whole time. 111 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,400 Right. 112 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,800 Eating and shitting through the tubes over here. 113 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,080 You still keeping tabs on him? 114 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:29,360 Oh aye. I went and broke my legs there so he could get put in the room next to him, 115 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,360 you know. 116 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,360 I was wondering how that used up. 117 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,640 I see if it was an act. 118 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,720 Well, the legs. Popped my health insurance up so they have. 119 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:36,720 How much? 120 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:37,720 50 quid. 121 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:38,720 You didn't tell them about it, did you? 122 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:39,720 I did. 123 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,920 I told them by accident. You know. I meant to ring my wife. 124 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,960 Ugh, we've all done that. Accidentally rang the health insurance. 125 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:47,960 Ah. 126 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,600 And then, should I say that it was on business? 127 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,840 I could've claimed them back. 128 00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:53,600 But for right off, I mean, my legs are a right off now. 129 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:57,880 Well don't talk to me about hospitals. I was in the other day for, see this cast I 130 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:02,520 have. I was minding my own business on the playground. And suddenly these kids come by 131 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:08,400 and push me down the slide. Like an arm broken, shattered. Three different places. 132 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,480 What were you doing in the playground? Apart from minding your own business? 133 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,120 I was minding my own business. I was contemplating my marriage. 134 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,120 On top of the slide? 135 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,680 It's a really good thinking spot. You can see out through the playing field, you can 136 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:22,720 see the cows in the fields. You know, you see life go on. Gives you time to think about 137 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,760 your life. And then those wee bastards there. 138 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,160 Yeah, those wee bastards pushed me down. And so what did I do, of course? 139 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,160 Shouted wee. 140 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:30,160 Shouted wee. Until. 141 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,640 It was a good time, this slide is. 142 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:36,160 Until you shattered your arm in three places. I didn't even know you were in hospital. 143 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,680 Would've been great to be in the same ward. 144 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:41,840 It would've, but I was very busy keeping my eye on your man there. I couldn't be distracted. 145 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:42,840 On your day off too. 146 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:43,840 Yeah. 147 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:47,640 Thankfully, it was my day off since I'd been made off for the past four months. So I could 148 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,200 do what I want. That's why I was allowed to be on the slide at that time. 149 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,920 I should have said you were in business. 150 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,000 Should have said I was on business. And the kids couldn't have touched me. That's good. 151 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:59,440 Now to be fair, through the searing pain and the adrenaline, I did chase those children 152 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,960 and throw them through the monkey bars. As is only right. 153 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,600 Well built monkey bars, sir. Well built monkey bars. 154 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:09,600 They're well built, they're strong, stable, broke one of their spines. Didn't see that 155 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:10,600 coming. 156 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,600 No, no. 157 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,440 But I think they deserved it. Now, we were in the same ward, so his parents were not 158 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,840 happy with me. And neither were the police officers. 159 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:18,840 Keeping an eye on him though. 160 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:22,880 Ah, see, make sure he's not up to anything. Sir, he's not moving anyway. He's got his 161 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,880 spine broke. You broke your spine once there Timothy, didn't you, a few years ago? 162 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,280 Aye, that's right. Sure, that's why I'm in the wheelchair now. 163 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,280 You enjoying it, like? 164 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:31,840 Looks like you have a grand old time. 165 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,240 Oh, I, you know why? I said it was on business. 166 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,880 Smoked bastard day. Free wheelchair, that's not bad. 167 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:37,880 Last class. 168 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:48,080 Here we are, here's some menus. Have a look, I've designed the menu myself. 169 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,560 Looks like a treasure map. 170 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:53,880 It is, yes. You have to look real carefully if you want to find the allergens on there. 171 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:54,880 Jesus Christ. 172 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,800 One thing, do you have any vegan options? 173 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:01,280 Well, yes, we've got chips. Chips are vegan. They do use the same deep frat fire that I 174 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,120 fry the fish in, but it's fine. 175 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,680 Sorry, what was that? 176 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,120 They do use the same deep frat fire that I fry the fish in. 177 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,120 Oh wow. 178 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,840 It's not really okay. Like I don't want to eat any animal products. 179 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:12,840 You don't want to eat sim? 180 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,840 I don't know. 181 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,400 I eat chips from it all the time, even though I'm allergic to shellfish. 182 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,400 Do you eat the chips from the deep frat fryer that you fry the fish in? 183 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,880 The deep frat fryer that I fry the fish in. 184 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:21,880 Wow. 185 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,800 Because I need to eat chips all the time. 186 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:28,000 I'm sorry, but there's, there is 17 axes on this menu. 187 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000 You found them all. Good job. 188 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,000 Oh wow, I only found 15 chips. 189 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,000 That's amazing. 190 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,000 Sorry, I get distracted. 191 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,960 No one's ever found 17 before. 192 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,400 Yeah, I still haven't seen like options. 193 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:40,280 Oh wait, wait. Right in the corner of the 14th X. 194 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,280 There it is. 195 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,280 Oh, chips. 196 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:43,280 Chips. 197 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:44,280 Chips. 198 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,680 If you turn the menus over boys, there's the fish. 199 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:48,680 It just says fish. 200 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:49,680 Yep. 201 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:50,760 Mine says one sellotape to it. 202 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,280 That was the one of the first menus I actually made, you see. 203 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,280 Ah, so this is the prototype. 204 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:55,280 That was the prototype menu. 205 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:56,280 Smells really rotten. 206 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:57,280 Yeah. 207 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:58,280 The menus. 208 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,280 Well, just this, it's one specific thing. 209 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,280 That dead fish. 210 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,080 That is a dead fish. 211 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,080 In fact, its eyeballs just fell out. 212 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,080 Yeah, it's just like in the sea, innit? 213 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,080 Yeah, I haven't been to the, yeah, okay. 214 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,080 Right. 215 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,520 So three rounds of chips and do you want a fish to share or do you want to have a fish 216 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,520 each? 217 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:20,040 I mean, usually, you know, seafood restaurants have multiple different types of fish. 218 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,480 There's also shrimp and mussels. 219 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:23,720 I just see fish. 220 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:24,720 I'll take a fish. 221 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:25,720 Look, I've just got- 222 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:26,720 What is the fish? 223 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:27,720 There's a tank. 224 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:28,920 I'm not having, what is the fish? 225 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,320 There's a tank in the back and because I'm allergic to shellfish, I can't actually look 226 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,680 at them when I'm in there. 227 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:38,160 So I have to close my eyes, put my hand in the tank and then just grab whatever comes 228 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,160 out. 229 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:40,160 A fish is not a shellfish. 230 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,680 Do you want us to lift it? 231 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,480 It would be very unsafe to put using the kitchen, of course. 232 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,280 You know, it's a safety hazard. 233 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,040 Are there shellfish in the tank? 234 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,560 Why wouldn't you just have a tank without shellfish? 235 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,160 It's a seafood special, innit? 236 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,680 You know, like a fisherman's pie that you get down in the shop. 237 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:58,320 You have all the fish in the one packet and you put it for your fisherman's pie. 238 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,560 Wait, no, you just buy packs of fish from a supermarket. 239 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:02,560 I wouldn't do that. 240 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:03,920 I'm a respectable businessman. 241 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:08,200 I'm now starting to think that, okay, yes, I believe that you do have a shellfish allergy, 242 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,160 but I also think you were crying earlier. 243 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,160 Business isn't going too well. 244 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,160 I'm on my own, boys. 245 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:14,440 I'm here on my own. 246 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,160 I've been pretty clear about that this whole time, you know? 247 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,640 You've come into an empty restaurant. 248 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:19,640 It's just me here. 249 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:20,640 Do you have any sea cucumber? 250 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:21,640 We do. 251 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:22,640 I was going to say. 252 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:23,640 I can eat that. 253 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:24,640 You can eat one of those, can't you? 254 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:25,640 Aren't sea cucumbers alive? 255 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:29,440 I don't think you can actually order it because he doesn't know what he's going to grab. 256 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:30,440 I can find a sea cucumber. 257 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,440 Okay. 258 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:32,440 I know my way around the sea cucumber. 259 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,400 So that's why it's fish question mark, because we don't know what type of fish we're going 260 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:37,400 to get. 261 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:38,400 That's the name of the restaurant, yeah. 262 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,400 Right. 263 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:40,400 Fish? 264 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,400 Can I get another glass of water? 265 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:42,400 Of course. 266 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,400 You drank all that one. 267 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,400 That's great. 268 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,400 Oh, yeah. 269 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:46,400 Let me get some more for you. 270 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:47,400 What are we doing here? 271 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:53,760 I like it. 272 00:10:53,760 --> 00:11:00,480 We are running an award winning, reasonably successful, reasonably priced. 273 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:01,480 I mean, I love it. 274 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,480 I come here every Friday. 275 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,600 You do, but you order beans on your tips. 276 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,600 I'm sorry. 277 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,600 That just disgusts me. 278 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,920 I mean, you offer it. 279 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:11,340 I will stop ordering the beans if you guys do the... 280 00:11:11,340 --> 00:11:12,340 Beans isn't an issue for me. 281 00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:13,680 I didn't think that was that big an issue. 282 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:15,240 No, it's not a big issue for me. 283 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,240 It's the threat of death. 284 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,120 That's an issue for me. 285 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,080 That was just because they weren't qualified. 286 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,080 Okay. 287 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:26,200 So maybe you're not the best person to bring the fair back considering you're the one that 288 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:30,160 inadvertently buried it in a shallow grave. 289 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:31,920 What other people have you got on board? 290 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,560 Has anybody said yes to you yet? 291 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,360 I've got a lot of maybes and some... 292 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,600 I've got people to help build it so far, so that's something. 293 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:39,880 The mayor's given me a permit. 294 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:40,880 The mayor? 295 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:41,880 The mayor, yeah. 296 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:42,880 Oh, the mayor. 297 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:43,880 Yeah. 298 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:44,880 Permit. 299 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:45,880 Yeah. 300 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:46,880 It's official and everything. 301 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:47,880 How much did you pay? 302 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:48,880 That's the great thing. 303 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:49,880 I didn't. 304 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:53,680 I paid with PowerPoint and everything and I came in with my nice suit. 305 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:57,200 I was respectful and yeah, yeah, I thought, yep, this is a great idea. 306 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,200 Go ahead. 307 00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,200 He's famously hard to persuade. 308 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,200 I mean, I... 309 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,200 And you're not terribly persuasive. 310 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:06,520 I'm not, but my daughter helped me with the PowerPoint and I think it really did a lot 311 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:07,520 of the heavy lifting. 312 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:08,520 So can we see the PowerPoint? 313 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,520 Can you do PowerPoint on your phone? 314 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:12,520 I don't... 315 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:13,800 I'm not that great with PowerPoint. 316 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,360 I've got the file on my phone. 317 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,360 Hold on. 318 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,360 Let me see. 319 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,520 There's diagrams showing how we won't have our heads cooked. 320 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:21,520 I mean, she's only 14. 321 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,320 I'd rather not expose her to that kind of information. 322 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,560 The fact that you are semi-directly responsible for... 323 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:28,560 The death of a man. 324 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:29,560 ...are very grisly. 325 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:33,640 A man died at an event I helped organize. 326 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:34,640 That's different. 327 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,240 You were the head organizer. 328 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,840 I gave myself the title to feel important, but I was the only one organizing it. 329 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,840 I might as well be principal senior organizer. 330 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:42,840 There's just one. 331 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:43,840 Sorry, man. 332 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:44,840 Are you going to order? 333 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:48,040 I'm trying to decide whether or not I can get the beans. 334 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,320 This is a negotiation right now. 335 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,640 If you order from me, you can get the beans, but if you order from my wife... 336 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:55,640 No beans. 337 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:56,640 It makes her physically sick. 338 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:57,640 It's the smell. 339 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:01,680 Am I the only one who orders the beans in this town? 340 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,840 Yeah, we have to buy them specially for you, Paul. 341 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:04,840 I'm really sorry. 342 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,760 I didn't realize I was putting you out that much. 343 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,680 You've put us out every Friday for the last two years. 344 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:15,480 Which is why I'm not really all that enthralled by the prospect of working a food truck for 345 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,640 you at this event. 346 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:18,640 You wouldn't be working for me. 347 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:19,640 You'd be independent. 348 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:23,440 And also, to show I can change, I will stop ordering the beans. 349 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,440 Would we have to pay for the food truck? 350 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:29,760 You'd have to get your own ingredients, but we've got some funding from the mayor. 351 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,200 The mayor gave you money? 352 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,880 Well, the mayor had an expense budget. 353 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:36,560 I'm not allowed to have the money directly after last time, but if you give him your 354 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,560 expenses, they will cover it. 355 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:40,040 What happened the last time to the money? 356 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,040 It just printed poorly. 357 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:46,040 I spent a lot of money on roller coasters, not a lot of money on fire marshals. 358 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,800 So this is why you're not allowed to touch the money? 359 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,880 It's better if I don't have it and someone verifies my expenses. 360 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,000 We've got the accountant on board. 361 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,000 He said yes. 362 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,000 He was very adamant. 363 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,160 You went on a very fancy holiday after the last fair. 364 00:13:58,160 --> 00:13:59,960 Well, you went to Ibiza. 365 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,000 I mean, I said I did. 366 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,620 I just went camping outside town. 367 00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:04,620 People didn't want to see me. 368 00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,680 I mean, you were quite literally run out of time. 369 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,680 You had to run. 370 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,520 Yeah, I was sprinting full on. 371 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,200 Look, my passport was still in my home. 372 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,000 I couldn't have gone to Ibiza. 373 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,680 People were camped outside my home waiting for me to come back. 374 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,000 And I want to make things up. 375 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,520 I want everyone to see that this can be fun again. 376 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:21,520 You want to make things up? 377 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:22,520 Yeah. 378 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:23,520 Like lie. 379 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,840 No, no, no, not like that. 380 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,720 I just want to redeem myself. 381 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,480 And you know, the fair can be fun. 382 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:31,640 The town can have that back. 383 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,720 Maybe my wife will give me another chance. 384 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:34,720 Whatever. 385 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,240 I just want positive things to happen. 386 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,320 I've spoken to Pauline and she's really not interested. 387 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,600 Speak to her again post-fair. 388 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,240 She said the fair is a terrible idea. 389 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,520 That's because everyone has... 390 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:46,520 And he's shit in bed. 391 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,560 I had a lot of anxiety about the fair. 392 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:53,560 I had a feeling things were going to go wrong and it was affecting things. 393 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,160 You mean physically? 394 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,160 Yeah. 395 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,000 I didn't realize she shared that with you. 396 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,720 Well, we go out for drinks every Friday night. 397 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,040 So she tells me a lot of stuff about you. 398 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,400 I don't really know how to answer that. 399 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,000 I'm just sorry. 400 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,600 And will you please do the food truck? 401 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,560 I will take chips, no beans, please. 402 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,560 What do you reckon? 403 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,800 I say give him the beans. 404 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,800 But only beans. 405 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,360 Oh, no, chips and beans. 406 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,360 Okay. 407 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:19,440 So is that a maybe? 408 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,560 We'll make you some chips and beans on the day. 409 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:22,560 That's it. 410 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:23,560 That's our final offer. 411 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,400 Oh, oh, but you'll be serving other people? 412 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:26,880 I don't think it's worth the risk. 413 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,800 No, I cherish my health too much. 414 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,000 Okay, but I can say you two will be there. 415 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,400 We'll hand it over the fence. 416 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,400 Why's that? 417 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,400 Okay, I'll do a delivery service. 418 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,400 That's a good idea. 419 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:36,400 Do you have an app? 420 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,400 Oh, okay. 421 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,400 How about this? 422 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:43,280 You guys can cook here and then we just get a delivery guy to transport things to the 423 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:44,280 fair. 424 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,280 That would work. 425 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,280 Okay. 426 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,280 Who's the delivery guy though? 427 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,280 I'll sort it out. 428 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,280 Someone reliable. 429 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,360 I've got a car. 430 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,680 I will not give it to the first stranger I see. 431 00:15:53,680 --> 00:16:04,520 I promise you that I have changed. 432 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,520 All right. 433 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,200 Well, are we doing the chicken league again this year lads? 434 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,240 Oh, I'd think it'd be rude not to. 435 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:14,360 Cause I've been getting complaints having the chicken league above the pub. 436 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:15,360 Hold on a minute. 437 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,360 Is bad for business. 438 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:17,360 Oh, are we on? 439 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,360 Sure. 440 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,360 We're buying pints all the time. 441 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,360 What are they on about? 442 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,920 They say that they don't want to bring the grain up for the league. 443 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:28,920 Say that the grain is unsanitary when it falls through the holes in the floorboards and into 444 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:29,920 the drinks. 445 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:30,920 Come now. 446 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:35,920 They say that the chickens are depositing their little friends down through the holes. 447 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,320 This is a pain. 448 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,640 And the league itself is rowdy. 449 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,640 They knew. 450 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:41,640 And violent. 451 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,440 And they knew what they were getting into. 452 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,440 This is just, these are, these are excuses. 453 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:46,440 Yeah. 454 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,440 You know what this is. 455 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,440 Sorry. 456 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,440 Let's finish. 457 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,080 I don't need to hear anymore, but okay. 458 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,000 And there's too many corpses in the windows. 459 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,000 Oh, die. 460 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,120 You see, but it's league business. 461 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,720 It's like, I told them that when, whenever the league is on this league business, you 462 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:05,200 can't come in and they're just trying to drive up the rent prices for the room. 463 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,200 That's all they're doing. 464 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,200 They're going to cave. 465 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,840 They're going to be like, okay, for an extra 75 a month or something. 466 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:11,840 We're not doing it. 467 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:12,840 They're trying to price this out. 468 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,520 I said, don't come in unless you're delivering green. 469 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:16,520 Let's deliver and green. 470 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:17,680 That's always what I would say. 471 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:18,680 But what is the password? 472 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,280 The password is, are you holding a bag of green? 473 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,920 And that's worked for many years, but is it going to work this year? 474 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:24,920 Do we have the league? 475 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:25,920 I don't know. 476 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:26,920 I mean, we've got the chickens. 477 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,280 I thought this was a straightforward question. 478 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,440 We've got the board set up. 479 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:30,440 I've done the board already. 480 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,720 I don't know if you've seen this. 481 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:32,720 Good work. 482 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,720 That's incredible. 483 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,720 I had assumed you'd got that off head. 484 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,720 So you did that yourself. 485 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:36,880 No, I did that board. 486 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,240 Beautiful work. 487 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,800 I've been studying everyone's comments from last year. 488 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:41,880 You wrote them down. 489 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,520 You put them through the little letter box. 490 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,680 I took those comments and I took them on board. 491 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:52,480 Those comments would have broken a lesser man, but you took all that on board. 492 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,240 And I'm sure it was tough to hear a lot of it. 493 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,720 Well, that's why I don't know if I have to take the comments of the pub on board. 494 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,200 I'm just, I'm a man who takes comments. 495 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,200 That's true. 496 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,200 You're good at it too. 497 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,200 I'll take that. 498 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,200 Stick that on the board, would you? 499 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,200 I'll take that. 500 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,200 I'll put that on the board. 501 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,200 I'm good at it. 502 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,080 And I've been working on my mathematics skills for like the betting component of it all. 503 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,120 I've really gotten to do this yet. 504 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,560 Like I wasn't great at it last year. 505 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,480 I'll admit, you just talked about getting that other fella in, but I went back. 506 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,480 What are the odds? 507 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:18,480 Of me getting kicked? 508 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:19,480 Yeah. 509 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,480 Four out of five. 510 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:21,480 Four to five. 511 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,480 That's not bad. 512 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,480 I'll take that. 513 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,480 Because I'm assuming there's a good chance that that guy from down south is going to. 514 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,960 I'll stick 20 quid on that now. 515 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:28,960 I think it's reasonable. 516 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:29,960 Can I spread this bet? 517 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:30,960 Sure. 518 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:31,960 Yeah. 519 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,280 I'll spread odds over evens on you getting kicked. 520 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,400 Do you want to do it a double for the first fight of the year? 521 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,320 Put in with one of the winners, one of the chickens? 522 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,920 Or just want to give it a single? 523 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:42,920 I do. 524 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:43,920 That's my tradition. 525 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:44,920 Lovely. 526 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:45,920 I'll do it. 527 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,400 I'll bet that in the next year you put a bet on that I'm going to get kicked. 528 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,400 Some years you do. 529 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,640 Some years you pay someone to do it. 530 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,880 But I always have my way back in. 531 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,600 Usually by subterfuge. 532 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:56,600 Yep. 533 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,600 Subterfuge. 534 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,800 And that's the league rules. 535 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:00,800 That's the league rules. 536 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,240 If you can get back in from subterfuge, you're allowed in. 537 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,520 That's if we even have a room to be in. 538 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,840 I can't be above the pub. 539 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,640 I say we send a couple of chickens down. 540 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:10,640 We'll see what happens. 541 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,280 We, uh, they're pretty ferocious. 542 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:14,280 To convince the landlord? 543 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,640 Yeah, have you, have any of you fed them today? 544 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,560 They're probably pretty vicious right now. 545 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:22,160 Well, I don't feed them, you know, get a grain delivery in it. 546 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,160 That hasn't came in a while. 547 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,160 That hasn't came. 548 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,160 Exactly. 549 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,160 We send those, those little boys down. 550 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,000 Oh, they're going to kick some land board. 551 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,000 He'll show them what's what. 552 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,000 Sounds like the league's on lads. 553 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,000 Yeah. 554 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,000 Eww. 555 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:40,280 Right fellas, I've actually done you a special deal. 556 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,040 I've just hooked up a nice little system here. 557 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,240 There's a little tap just hooked up to the table. 558 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,320 You can just help yourselves as much seawater as you want. 559 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,320 It's a hose. 560 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,320 It's a hose. 561 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,800 It's a little filtration system that I've set up from the side. 562 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,560 This is just a bit of blue PVC hose. 563 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,920 I think it's authentic pirate. 564 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:56,920 Thank you. 565 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,200 You really make it this so much better for me. 566 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,200 Oh god. 567 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,200 Okay. 568 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,920 So I'm going to go put some fish in the deep fried fire and- 569 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,280 Can you leave the sea cucumber out of the deep fried fire that you fry the fish in? 570 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,200 Do you want it just like sushi style? 571 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,200 Yeah. 572 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,200 Yeah. 573 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,200 I could do that. 574 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,200 Yeah. 575 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,200 Do you have rice too? 576 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,200 No. 577 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:18,520 It's like sushi style, you know, like, oh, actually that's a good idea. 578 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,880 If I cut up the chips real small, it'll be like rice. 579 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:22,880 So- 580 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,920 As long as they're not in the deep fried fire that you fry the fish in. 581 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,480 No, if I do that with the sushi, it won't be sushi. 582 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,700 You don't put deep fried fish in sushi. 583 00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:30,700 That's ridiculous. 584 00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:31,700 That is ridiculous. 585 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:32,700 Yeah. 586 00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:33,700 Just that. 587 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:34,700 Okay. 588 00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,160 You also know what type of fish goes into a sushi roll. 589 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,160 I like the danger. 590 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,160 Yeah. 591 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,160 I don't eat sushi. 592 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,840 You know, they mostly, there's a lot of shellfish risk. 593 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,800 No puffer fish around to hang in it. 594 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,000 Oh, could be. 595 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,000 This is a death trap. 596 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,000 You're gonna eat here. 597 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,240 You're being so, I'm really trying. 598 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,680 Can I get some more water? 599 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,680 Oh, you are a thirsty boy, aren't you? 600 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:52,680 I'm really thirsty. 601 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,680 In fact, I don't think this is helping my thirst, but I'm going to keep drinking. 602 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,680 No, I think it's actually, the more you drink, the less thirsty you get, I think. 603 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,240 That's what I've always, that's what my mom told me. 604 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,160 You can lead a man to water, but you can't get him to drink from a hose. 605 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,160 That's what they say. 606 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,160 Do I just turn this top here? 607 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,160 Yeah. 608 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,480 Work away, work away. 609 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:09,480 This is actually fun. 610 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,960 I'm just like gonna bring the steaks out. 611 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:11,960 Yeah, you get to see it. 612 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:12,960 Don't say steaks in here. 613 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:13,960 We don't have those. 614 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:14,960 I mean, he's vegan. 615 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,920 Like he wouldn't have a steak. 616 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:17,920 It's a fish restaurant, right? 617 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:18,920 It's a fish restaurant. 618 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:19,920 Fish? 619 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:20,920 Fish? 620 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:21,920 Fish? 621 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:22,920 Don't say the S word. 622 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,040 Let me go get the chips on. 623 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:28,240 It says here, if I find all 17, I get a Gold doubloon. 624 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,040 Of course you get a Gold doubloon. 625 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,500 There you go. 626 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:34,560 I think he might've just handed you over his last bit of money. 627 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,760 I need you to pay for your food with that, please. 628 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,040 Oh, did we just get a coupon for a free meal? 629 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,040 Oh, nice. 630 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,240 I suppose you did. 631 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:42,240 Okay. 632 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,800 I think we should bring, you know, for Bill's retirement party, I think we should have that 633 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:46,800 here. 634 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:47,800 Bill loves seafood. 635 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:48,800 I don't like Bill's. 636 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:49,800 So yeah. 637 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:50,800 We all in agreement? 638 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:51,800 We've been looking for a location. 639 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:52,800 I'd love to meet him. 640 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:53,800 He sounds real nice. 641 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:54,800 Yeah. 642 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:55,800 Yeah. 643 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,800 Why don't I just get all the restaurant stuff and bring it to your office? 644 00:21:58,800 --> 00:21:59,800 You can like, you can like go. 645 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:00,800 Oh yeah, I can pack it all up. 646 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,880 I've got a little van out back. 647 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,560 It's got like, I try not to open the door too much because the water spills out quite 648 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:11,080 a lot, but I kind of, I climb on top and I can plop the fish in through the little chimney 649 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,080 in the back of the van. 650 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:16,880 Do you just like dump the van with the doors open into the water and just close it and 651 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,240 that's how you fish? 652 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:22,280 Well actually that's how I caught the fish because I saw the van just lying in the beach 653 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,240 and I was like, oh wow, free van. 654 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:28,400 And when I pulled out, there was fish in the back and I was like, great, I'll make a restaurant. 655 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:33,200 I like that you drive neck deep in water, sitting in a van full of water. 656 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,200 That's great. 657 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:35,600 Look, I've actually been lying to you. 658 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:36,840 The van is the tank. 659 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,640 I knew you were just saving energy. 660 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:39,640 I knew this was. 661 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:41,040 Well, I think it's running the van. 662 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:45,680 The generator is literally only powering the van yet. 663 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:49,120 And the diesel smell that you'll smell and that's a separate issue entirely. 664 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:50,200 Don't even worry about that. 665 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,200 It's not going to do with the restaurant. 666 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,200 Oh, I see. 667 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,440 Like because it was masked by the smell of that. 668 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:55,440 Deep fat fire. 669 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,120 Well, there's that smell. 670 00:22:57,120 --> 00:23:00,360 There's a whole, a whole mixture of. 671 00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,760 Is the diesel in the deep fat fire? 672 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,480 Oil's expensive, right? 673 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:08,640 I wanted to get canola oil, but the shops won't sell it to me anymore. 674 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:09,640 But why not? 675 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,000 They said, Willie, you're not allowed to have canola oil anymore. 676 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,440 Look, I'm going to get the chips on. 677 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:17,440 Yeah, I'll have a fish. 678 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:18,440 You'll have a fish. 679 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:19,440 I'll have a fish. 680 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,440 Fish. 681 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:21,440 I'll have that sea cucumber sushi. 682 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:22,440 Sushi style sea cucumber. 683 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:23,440 Right enough. 684 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:24,440 You get some more water as well. 685 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,440 Cheers, Willie. 686 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:26,440 The hose is still there, man. 687 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:27,440 You help yourself. 688 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:28,440 You walk away there. 689 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,440 It's all authentic. 690 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:30,440 I'm going to go ahead and get that now. 691 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:31,440 Cheers, Willie. 692 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:32,440 So the thing is, I'm going to go ahead and get that now. 693 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:33,440 Cheers, Willie. 694 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:39,240 So the thing I don't get is he found the van and then bought a restaurant. 695 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,040 Why didn't he just sell out of the van? 696 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,720 That was a real gold doubloon though. 697 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:43,960 Is he a real pirate? 698 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:44,960 I have no idea. 699 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,360 I don't know what a gold doubloon is. 700 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:48,360 It's just a coin. 701 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,360 It's a piece of gold. 702 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:50,360 Pretty expensive. 703 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:51,360 Pirate's blackbeard type stuff. 704 00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:53,360 Right, that's the fish on there. 705 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:54,360 The chips on. 706 00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:55,360 They're all in the deep fat fire. 707 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:56,720 We're good to go. 708 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:01,080 So I guess I'll just sit with you guys while we're waiting for them to cook. 709 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,080 You're not going to watch it? 710 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:07,640 We're going to watch it. 711 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:11,260 Let's go, then. 712 00:24:11,260 --> 00:24:14,360 Behind the scenes. 713 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:19,920 Back to Dunbraken is created, produced and edited by Conoth McVeigh. 714 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,800 For more information on the podcast, including the weekly town newsletter, you can follow 715 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:27,140 us at Dunbraken Pod on Instagram. 716 00:24:27,140 --> 00:24:30,900 This episode featured Patrick Meyer, Marcus Kealey, Cairnsand, Owen Fox, Eddie Goodman, 717 00:24:30,900 --> 00:24:38,900 Owen Fox, Eddie Goodwin, Robert Vaughan, Gemma Burnett and Aaron Marshall. 718 00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:42,580 The opening and closing music was created by Connor Mallon and you can check out his 719 00:24:42,580 --> 00:24:45,580 entire album Unearthed on Spotify now. 720 00:24:45,580 --> 00:25:01,580 Thank you for listening. We look forward to welcoming you back to Dunbracken very soon.