Hello and welcome back to the first of I guess four shorter bonus episodes that we're having
in between the two seasons. I can't imagine all of them will have this little director's
commentary for it but I figured I would do this to just explain what these episodes will
be. They're just the bonus and deleted scenes from this season. Ones that I couldn't fit
into different episodes for various reasons. Some of them are just so dumb. Very very funny
but they just have no inherent logic. I think today's one is one like that. I will say
that I've put a disclaimer in this one that there is talk of suicide so if that does trigger
anyone please don't listen to this episode. But this is one of arguably in my top five
scenes that we recorded throughout this entire season. I think it's one of my favorite but
it is, you'll understand, it's wild. So for these four weeks we'll have these little
mini episodes and then on Tuesday the 30th the season two will return. Other than that
just sit back and enjoy or stand back or drive back wherever you're doing. Walk your dog
back and enjoy this scene at a sauna featuring myself, Connliffe, Mark Diskinney and Patrick
Meyer.
Here we are, bunch of lads at the sauna. Yooo. Yes. That's us. Fucking warm in it like.
Oh yes yeah. I was expecting it to be a little bit warmer but I like it. It's a nice temperature.
I'm gonna turn up the heat if you want to make it a bit steamier. Yeah if you do that
I'll take off my jacket. Yeah that'd be great. Yeah I'll take mine off too. Alright so you
guys aren't using your jackets? No. I'll put them on. What? I'm a bit cold. Okay fair enough.
You're cold aren't you? I'll just turn it up then. Yeah yeah please do. Are we keeping
our towels on? We just all keeping them on. No I took mine off. Oh yeah okay. I'm gonna
keep mine on for now. If the keys are in the pocket and all like you know don't lose them.
Fair enough I will decide whenever the next level of heat comes in. Alright alright. Doesn't
want to take his trousers off because he thinks he can stick the heat like you know. I mean
I'm freezing. You'd look unwell like. You're shivering, you're sweating and shivering.
Yeah well if we turn up the heat then I'll stop shivering. Turn it up. Come on turn up
me more. Alright you know what I'm just gonna put on this scarf. Do you want my gloves?
Do you want these? Nah my hands are fine. I'm gonna turn it up a little bit more. Yeah.
I'm gonna turn it up more. You know what I'm gonna put it the whole way. Gonna put it
the whole way. Yeah go ahead go ahead. There we go look at that. In about some time we're
gonna have a great outed warm time. A good blast of heat. That's it. Sweat it all out.
Sweat it all out. You know all the impurities and toxins and regret. Then we can do it all
again. Aye. That's it. I got a lot to get out of my system. It was a good wedding though.
Was a good wedding. Aye. Fair fox to them like you know. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't
do it. And I told them as much on the day that I wouldn't do it. No but I think they
had already arranged to marry each other. I mean I told them not to do it as well but
my son won't listen to me so it is what it is. Aye. Youngins these days they don't understand.
They don't understand. No. It takes a lot to make a marriage work. I don't think he
has it in him. No. I don't see why he would have it in him if I don't have it in me. I
don't I don't I hope you don't mind me saying it but your son he's a bit of a quitter.
Awww absolutely absolutely. See he's quit so much. He's quit the family business. He's
quit this village. But to give him credit he did quit heroin. That was yeah. That's
pretty good. That's a good quit. I mean he did the right thing for the wrong reasons.
Oh that sounds. He quit heroin which is very good but I think he just did it because he
didn't he couldn't be bothered. He just couldn't afford it because he's a quitter. Classic.
Lost his job. Don't get me wrong I'm glad he did it but. He could have done it for a
different reason. He could have done it because he wanted to quit not just because that comes
naturally to him. I don't know how your daughter will put up with him. I don't know how. She'll
be grand. She'll be grand. She never quits anything. That's a good combo I suppose. He'll
try and quit and she won't let him. Exactly and that is the basis of a good marriage.
That is to diametrically opposed people. Yeah that's the only way it could work. That was
the problem with my wife. We were too similar. Me and my wife were too committed and it all
fell apart. We were so intensely committed and then she died. I don't know what to do
with myself. You're not that committed because if she died then you. Look it was in her will
but I couldn't quite follow through. It was that I was supposed to kill myself. It was
agreed upon. In fact you even got remarried. Look I'm surprised you found a solicitor that
allowed that to be put in the will. Well it was whenever you've got one in the family
you can sort of get away with a lot. Her brother and he wasn't a big fan of me originally or
me not following through. I'll be honest with you. You're an acquired taste. Yeah no
that's fair enough. I understand but he took everything from me. I was I lost everything
in the will because I wouldn't kill myself. I mean legally you're not allowed to stand
on that. Yeah he had me. Yeah you signed it. That's it. I think it was all going to him
anyway so either way I killed myself. I didn't kill myself. He wins. Couldn't believe it.
Yeah well I don't know what to tell you there. I'll tell you I'll tell you that. I think
he did the right thing though. Staying alive. Yeah. Sometimes I regret it. Sometimes I think
I'd be up there in heaven right now or hell with her. Whichever she is that's where I
would like to be. I'm 50 50 on it. I'm not sure whether he should have stayed alive or
killed himself. It's fair I flip between the two quite often. I wouldn't be willing to
put any money on either right now. I haven't seen enough. No no no I mean you don't gamble
on them on slightly either way but. That's true. I would have if I could though. Okay
all right really. I take a bit of that action but I do have a bit of a problem so. Yeah
you have no money. That's why I can't. We could combine the two. I'm listening. Russian
roulette. Oh. So you might blow your brains out and I might win some money depending on
what I pick. Interesting. Now my guns in my pocket and I don't have my trousers with me.
Does anyone else have a gun? Where's your trousers? Changing room. You don't want to
leave this on it just for a second. So it's a little heat out. We don't want that. Yeah
and you are pale. I'm surprised you've took all their jackets but just took off your trousers.
You're very top heavy. The top of my body is freezing. I'm shivering. Whereas from the
from like towards it down I'm roasting. That's because that's where all the fat goes. Is
it? Yeah for on you specifically. I'll be honest with the three jackets I kind of look
balanced. Yeah you have sturdy legs. Yeah. Yeah you've sort of got like two guts on your
legs where your thighs are. Everything about as you say above the waist sweet to the beat.
Yeah. Your legs. Yeah you're walking around with two bellies on your knees. It's rough.
It's rough. You're not well. Well I wouldn't go that far. I wouldn't go that far. Well
you didn't see yourself on the dance floor. That was tough to watch. Oh no no there was
a mirror in the room I saw. Oh okay. And still did the worm. Still tried to do the worm. That
dance floor is smushed to fuck. Let me tell you that. Yeah look poor dance floor. Nothing
to do with me. If any of you guys had gone on before me it would have broken to pieces.
I'm the father of the bride. I've had to pay for this fucking wedding. You've cost me four
grand for that dance floor. Well that was Jesus. Well I tried to talk my son out of
it so I don't know what you want from me. I did my part. I tried to talk him out of
it too but he didn't listen to me. Why don't you just fucking kill yourself already. I'm
fucking sick of this. I don't have a gun. Fucking will he won't he. Jesus Christ it's
a bigger romantic relationship than your wife. I could write a I could they could put this
into a film. They could stay in my life. I'd be good. I'd watch that. But you'd be dead.
Oh we don't know how the film ends. I mean I'll say that he has the same arrangement
with his current wife. Yeah Marjorie's yeah. So next time next time could be different.
If you want me to shoot myself in here you have to get my wife and shoot us both. But
don't do it in here. Is that not. Not in the sauna. Do it in the pool. It'll wash away
easier. That's all right yeah I can do that there. So if you want to kill me. Nope sorry.
If I have to kill myself. This is just like my son pulling off to work on other people.
Look we all know I'm not going to do it. We all know I'll also I've signed another contract
saying I'll do it. It was in my wedding vows. Yes Marjorie totally will. But we all know
I'm one for one on not killing myself. Well what if I get my daughter to kill your wife
then you can kill yourself. No see that's what happened the last time. I had a long
lengthy trial process having to grieve my wife who was murdered and I begged and begged
and begged the judge to let the murderer shoot me. But he just wouldn't let it happen. No
contract law is pretty cut and dry there. Yeah you didn't have that written in. No but
I didn't realize she was going to get murdered. She was just going to the shops. What was
she going to get? A cake. It wasn't her birthday was it? If so her sad. Bang yourself your
own birthday cake. Maybe it was someone else's birthday. You were a terrible husband. I'll
just say that. That seems unfair. You kill you don't kill yourself once and now you're
a terrible husband. Well also you made her buy her own birthday cake the day she died.
She was doing the shopping anyway. It doesn't make sense for both of us to go shopping.
It's a waste of petrol I agree. Exactly. Look all I'm saying is I think your daughter was
hired to kill the person buying the cake assuming that to be you. Aye because it would have
made sense. She got the instruction. Someone will be here and they'll be here buying a
cake. For Marjorie. Yeah. You didn't think it would be herself. No. Your selfishness
is the reason your wife got murdered. Well if you had have told me that I would have
killed myself ages ago. Well that's why she won't kill you now because she said I've
already been paid for one murder I'm not doing two murders. It is unbelievable. And I can't
even get into her. They won't allow me visitation with the murder of my wife. She's stuck in
jail. I can't get killed by her. Do you think it's maybe a conjugal thing that you think
you want? I keep saying let me into seer it's not a sex thing I just want to die. Maybe
you need to say conjugal. I'll try that but I don't know. Because they might think that
you're just denying it's a kink thing for you to go into jail. I mean I could see what
I could try just bringing in a gun. I mean if you have the gun just do it. I can't we
all know I won't do it. The Russian roulette idea wasn't a bad idea but again I'm not going
to pull that trigger. Marjorie will but then she's like I don't want to die yet. We've
got yoga on Thursday. We can do it after Thursday. But then she has it every week and it's a
good excuse to be fair if it's a recurring calendar thing. We could kill the yoga instructor
then there's no more yoga. Yeah but I've been told I need that for my legs. To be honest
it has been written into it that she doesn't have to kill herself she can't stay alive
she won't. I made that mistake once. You have a lot of enemies. Yeah I just have a problem
with gambling what can I say. But not with my own life. Not with that. It's fucking freezing
in here. Congrats to your son. Yeah well I mean he's punching well above his weight.
He fucking is. Thanks for the congratulations by the way. Now you're too late. What am I
going to congratulate you on? On getting saddled with this sack of shit son. You know what
in fairness to him your daughter did kill his wife. Yeah. It was tough waiting for him.
And we're obviously all doing this in prison. Where she is. The sauna prison yes. So that
clears up any confusion in that. Nice that they put us all together. Yeah we all know
the crime I commit is dog fraud. Yeah you as a vet killed a dog. Buried a live dog and
they sent you away for life for it. No no no all the way around. Dog died and I returned
his life. I thought you were going to say the dog buried you. That's where I thought
he was going with it. Dog fraud you say. Yeah yeah. Did you try and replace it with a dog
that looked like it. No no just same dog. I tried to weaken and burn it. Oh. Hey question
what did your son do to get in here though? Oh my son he's it's just the venue was free.
See now I can't do the conjugal thing because he'll be doing that so I can't get to her
side of the prison. Sorry will I be doing that? No your son will be. Who's married?
Your daughter who is in prison. But I'm pretty sure. They're just getting married here it's
just a cheap venue. Yeah but she's still in prison. Is she? That's why you're all like.
More than two couples can have sex at the same time. I've talked to the warden he said
one person at a time. Is it must just have like one glory hole or something then. I don't
know what the situation is again he will not let me in. But now your son's taken up my
chance to get shot in the head. Can I just say it was nice of the warden to let me keep
my gun. It was nice. He knows that if you'll probably be warranted. I can be trusted. You
can trap a lot of enemies as well. Exactly. I mean I'm a medical professional. The only
thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun and that's you. And
the inverse is also true the only thing stopping a good guy with a gun is me. That is the inherent
problem. Yeah we have made a few mistakes. You've shot two guys but hey you have to shoot
a few good guys to shoot a few bad guys. You never know we're all in prison. Eggs and omelets.
You know what I mean. Yeah. You do not look great. No I'll be honest. You might have to
fulfill your bargain and kill yourself when I die shortly. Come on. You agree to it. You
agree. If we ever end up in prison together and one of us dies you would kill yourself.
God damn it. This is so unfair. What happened to you. I don't know. It's like my body's
melting all of it is going towards my legs. His shins are taking on a lot of fluid. Yeah
I'm afraid to take off the jackets. I don't know what's left.