Hello to everyone expecting the new season of Dunbracken. I know I said that the podcast
was dropping today but I ended up having a very busy April and I don't quite have it
where I want it yet and whilst we have recorded some absolutely killer stuff I haven't had
time to actually edit it because I'm just one person trying to make the best stuff he
can from his and his friends kitchens. But you won't have long to wait for season 2
as I'm only pushing the release back until next week. So on the 5th of May Dunbracken
returns with season 2 and oh boy is it season 2. So to satiate you until then we have a
scene that takes place in a battering ram shop of all places with Patrick Meyer, Laura
Conlon and Connor Reddick along with me. But yes that is everything. Tuesday the 5th of
April Dunbracken returns.
be battering ram so that would be taking out essentially this would be if you're going
to take out a vault I don't know if you need that. Oh what is it you're trying to open.
I'm actually trying to destroy something. Oh that'll make things easier actually what
is it you're trying to destroy. Actually it's a Costa coffee. Costa coffee. You should probably
be able to do a Venti then a Venti battering ram. Okay it's not fully built yet but I don't
want them to reach completion. Oh then we'll go one lower you won't need a full. But I
think the foundations are in so I don't know. It's my first time destroying a chain cafe.
We'll go for a Venti just in case but if it turns out it was more powerful than you need
it I am willing to give you a refund. Oh that's really that's really generous of you. Yeah
no that's great. This has been like such a nice experience because I felt intimidated
coming in here because I've not bought from here before and like your menu is pretty complicated
and it's a lot of medieval confusing words and there's different sizes for everything
so you sure you don't want this morning star. No but I I'm not going to get a trebuchet
but I think my brother in law is looking at one so I mean. Oh give him my number. I will
yeah no I totally will. I will just one last go on the morning star because if one of those
workers does try and stop you this might be useful to hit them with. Ball with spikes
in the head even if they have a hard hat those spikes can go right through that. I want to
do damage to the building I don't think I want to do damage to people. It's probably
going to be a nighttime attack. Okay yeah I get shy. No that's fair do you want a lantern.
You know for free I will attach a small candle holder onto the battering ram onto the back
of it because if it was on the front then it would fall off. I didn't think that this
would have accessories but that's. No there's little holes throughout it where I can add
like little things you need. Is there anything any other modular pieces that you can put
on. Oh if I'm giving you the candle I suppose I could do I could sand down the left side
of it because I don't know if that's that's the side that I usually hold most often so
if I sand that down it gives it a nice little feel. See I've not done it before so I don't
know like I'm normally dominant with my right hand but I know that these things. If this
is your first time taking I would say we'll just keep it pretty standard then the candles
fine but after I don't wouldn't go as far as for example I wouldn't add the spike to
the end of it. That's for your more high class third jobs and stuff. Do you have anything
that's like it's not necessarily like cup holder but like I mean a spray paint can is effectively
the same shape as some cups. Spray paint. I don't again I don't know if this is like
commonplace for whenever you're taking down a cafe chain before it's been fully built.
We'll see the thing is. I just want to be over prepared I think. If I can have more
stuff in my arsenal by like having these kind of modular components and the accessories
then. I mean I could sell you the spray can as an easy fix in our end but I do think if
you're going to use a spray can and then knock down a building it seems pretty pointless
and I could make a seal for that and I could make more money but it doesn't seem like you
actually need the spray can. I was thinking like and like maybe you've seen people do
this before so you can advise me like leaving a remaining wall and then like putting some
maybe poetry or something up. Because my tumblr isn't getting that many views and I don't
want them to track them back to me immediately but I still want to put something on myself
out there to like make it individualistic I think. So I had a guy in like two months
ago who wanted to leave a wall up he tried to knock down a McDonald's wanted to leave
a wall up and did and then a Burger King saw that one wall and were like we can work with
this so now they just sell out of a wall. That's what I was worried about. So I don't
think you should leave the wall. That's okay no that's alright. I think because I know
now that I'm coming in under my original budget I was willing to add like of course a lot
more gimmicks on. Yeah. But honestly a lot of these gimmicks are flashy but they're
no substance to them. I think you just need this little horse. Yeah take the little horse.
I'll pay for it like don't even worry about giving it for free. All the rest are gimmicks
but the little horse to carry the battering ram until you're finally ready that's that's
what I would say is your best. I mean it can run into the wall too. Can I size up on horse?
I think this one's too cute. I will get attached and then they will be able to identify me
because I have a horse. You can return the horse does if you don't want to. Horse rental
okay. Yeah yeah the horses were not selling them. It turns out that was illegal. Oh yeah.
The rest of the stuff's perfectly legal though so. What if I get emotionally attached? Can
I come visit the horse? I mean if you give us it in cash you can keep the horse. It's
not it's only illegal if we put it on the books. What if say the horse died? Shopkeep?
Yes? Could I ask you a question please? Mm-hmm. I'm looking for some advice on a battering
ram. Wonderful you've came to the right place. I sell those. Well let me tell you what I've
got in mind. You know the crypt back of the graveyard? Oh yes. Oh which one's? The large
cream one with steel doors. Large steel doors. Interesting. Okay. Some bad men buried in
there. Real bad men. You're thinking that you could make sure they never rise or? Yeah
okay. Never rise? Oh I'm looking to rise. Oh okay okay okay you want to check it out.
Right you all you need to all we need from is to get in is what I'm hearing. I need to
get in. I need to get them out and we need to get them to haunt my dad's house. Wonderful
right well I can do this for you. Okay you see this little horse? That's not for you.
Oh. That's for another customer? Yes. I can do a larger horse. Okay. That's two times
the size of this horse. Now I'm not sure if you're picturing that right. It's two times
the size. It's not just a larger horse it's a much bigger horse. All right okay well I
mean that feeds him well to my other hobby of collecting horses but I don't see how it's
going to help me with this crypt. Well it's going to carry the largest battering ram I
have because this crypt I know the one you're talking about cream steel doors. Cream steel
doors. There's two sets of steel doors in there because you're not the first person
to go in there. What? What? You're you're the third person to go in there so they keep
adding doors. At first they didn't have a door so that's why there's only two doors.
So the ghosts might already be out. They might already be out but we don't know. Sorry I
couldn't help but over here um now this is actually a common misconception but the crypts
trap the ghosts? Yeah I know. He's wanting to take the crypts the ghosts from the crypts.
Take them around my dad's. Apologies apologies I misunderstood but can I give you a pro tip?
Don't go for the steel door go for the stone wall it's so much weaker than the steel door.
Oh my god he gives so much better advice than you shopkeep. And you know what I can hook
you up with a battering ram just across the street here. Wait a minute wait a minute.
Hey! I just got a little bit of business to do here regarding a- John get out of here
get out of here John. You're not allowed in here after you keep- I will get out of here
and I'll take your customer and you know what I have much cuter ponies than us. If you want
to get attached to a pony I've got the cutest ponies you can imagine. I quite like this
Shetland. That's fair I think it's imprinted on you. Anyway oh yeah if you want if you
want to break into the crypt uh-huh I've already helped two men I can help you two. God damn
it do you know do you maybe know any other crypts full of bob men? I feel like all the
bob men have already been allowed out of this crypt. I really want to scare my dad. Okay
here's the deal you're looking for an existing crypt but you want to do- uh-huh. There's
a funeral three weeks from now. Who died? They're not dead yet. I got a hot tip. Is
it a bad guy? Oh it's the worst. Why bad? Oh it's um serial horse thief. Uh-uh. It's-
that's my dad. Oh I've said too much. I can't use- my dad's gonna- what? Hear me out. What
if you build a crypt around his house and then he is a ghost. Love it. He can't help
you build a crypt. That's true. He only knows how to destroy them. That's out of my purview.
Okay I'm gonna leave this shop I'm gonna buy one pony from you I'm gonna have a look
at your ponies and then I'm going straight to the stonemasons. You're gonna want my ponies.
What's it gonna take? It's okay I have a return policy so if you do like his uh- annoyingly
but you can't return mine if you prefer his. Very fair business you're on. I don't like
it but I'm honest. We probably have a return policy but no one's ever taken advantage of
it. Reflects well on your horses. Yes. Dolls. I'm sorry can you ring me up? Do you just
want to go with John? No no offense John. Our wi-fi password is who let the ghosts out.