1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,760 Excuse me, could you point me in the direction of your dairy farms please? 2 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,760 Do you want to do it? 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,760 No, no, you're going ahead, you're going ahead Al. 4 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,760 You're better at it. 5 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,760 I'm meant to be shadowing you so... 6 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,760 You've been here longer. 7 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,760 That's why it hurts that I'm meant to be shadowing you. 8 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,760 I've been here so long. My dad started this company. 9 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,760 I'm sorry to interrupt but... 10 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,760 One second sir! We're trying to figure something out. 11 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,760 We'll get to you. 12 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,760 So can you show him the way to the dairy farms and I'll watch you showing him? 13 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,760 I'd prefer if you did it. 14 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:35,760 Dairy, is that the one that's... 15 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,760 I'm sorry but whenever you're ready... 16 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,760 That's the one with the cows I think. 17 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,760 Dairy farms? Yes, that's the one with cows. 18 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,760 You really know your stuff. 19 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,760 Well yeah, I'm interested in a dairy farm. 20 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,760 I've been doing a lot of research and I would just like you to point me in the direction of your dairy farms. 21 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,760 Just one second. 22 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,760 He's done his research, he's going to see right through me. 23 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,760 God. 24 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,760 You need to take this one. 25 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,760 He sounds like he's going to be able to... 26 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,760 Sir, you'd know of a dairy farm if you'd seen one like... 27 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,760 Well, yes. I mean there's three main types at the moment. 28 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,760 The most popular one I was looking at. 29 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,760 I've been reading with Dairy Farm magazine. 30 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,760 Should I be taking notes? Yeah, take some notes. 31 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,760 Alright. 32 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,760 Sorry one second, can you repeat all that? 33 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,760 Sorry, is there anyone else that works here that could help me? 34 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,760 Because I would like... 35 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,760 Yeah, Tommy over there. He works here. 36 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,760 He's not just my friend, he works here. 37 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,760 But I mean, neither... 38 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,760 He's been shadowing for a while there. 39 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:33,760 If you don't mind me saying, neither of you really seem to know what you're doing. 40 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,760 I do mind you saying it hurts. 41 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,760 Just simply... 42 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:39,760 Also, Tommy, he knows what he's doing. 43 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,760 Well, it doesn't seem like it. 44 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,760 Well, it might not seem like it, but I know what I'm doing. 45 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,760 Do you or do you not know where the dairy farm is? 46 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:51,760 The dairy farm, if you could just explain to me once more the features of the dairy farm that you want. 47 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:55,760 Just so we know, we're talking about the right type of dairy farm. 48 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,760 Do you have more than one dairy farm? 49 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:01,760 I'll let you know as soon as you specify just exactly the features. 50 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:06,760 Well, I mean, at the moment, really, I am just looking for your standard dairy farm. 51 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:11,760 I might be looking to accessorise, you know, which was actually my next question was, 52 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:16,760 do you have accessories for dairy farms here, tractors and so on, or do I have to go somewhere else to get those? 53 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,760 We do, but they're locked and neither of us have the key. 54 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:19,760 Yeah, no. 55 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:27,760 We're not trusted with the key, but I can call my dad and he'll be down there in a brief hour. 56 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:32,760 Do you know, I mean, I really, I have to say, you know, in this day and age, you know, you try to shop local, 57 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,760 you try to support small businesses, small farm shop businesses. 58 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,760 Oh, you should go online. I get all my stuff from Amazon. It's easy. 59 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:45,760 Well, I'm beginning to think that, yes, actually, I might have been better going to the farm shop superstore across the other side of town. 60 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:50,760 Oh, no, no, just I've got Prime. You can use mine if you want. You'll get it. 61 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,760 Yeah, yeah. I mean, if you're not going to go local, don't go. 62 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:56,760 If you don't have your vats, just go straight to Amazon. Don't go somewhere in between. That's crazy. 63 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,760 There's actually, there's a deal, it's like half price and barbwire this week on Amazon Prime. 64 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,760 Really? I mean, can I just ask, how did you get past it? 65 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:04,760 This just seems really... 66 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:09,760 I had access and I thought I wanted a quiet day. You breezed right through it. 67 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,760 Well, there was a gap. I mean, I just... 68 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,760 Oh, Jesus Christ. 69 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:36,760 I used that to get in. 70 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:43,760 Welcome back to Dunbracken. 71 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,760 I swear the whole thing, the whole, the whole church bell's gone. 72 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:48,760 Where's the rope? 73 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,760 It's gone too. Every piece of the bell is missing. 74 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:56,760 The inner piece, the little bit that sits in the inside that hits the bell, gone. 75 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,760 The rope of the bell. Thankfully, we've still got the stairs up to the bell. 76 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:00,760 That's it. 77 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:04,760 Well, they aren't the stairs up to the bell anymore. They're just stairs up to nothing. 78 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,760 I don't know what we're going to do. Was it here yesterday? 79 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:11,760 I was at least here three days ago. Tuesday was the last day I was here. 80 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,760 And I was doing my final inspections. 81 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,760 I mean, the bell's never been stolen from the church before, so I figured... 82 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:21,760 And on the eve of the annual ring off, it couldn't come at a worse time. 83 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:27,760 How are we going to choose our new priest now? 84 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:34,760 Hello, hello. So are we ready to get this ceremony underway? 85 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,760 Hello, Bishop Brannigan. Are you OK? How are you getting on? 86 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:42,760 I hope you have preparations in place for our new priest selection. 87 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,760 It's the old ring off. 88 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,760 We've got 24 hours, Bishop Brannigan, so... 89 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:51,760 Yeah, the bell is, it's been cleaned at the moment. 90 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,760 I'm glad because it was very dirty when I last saw it. 91 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:55,760 It was. 92 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,760 And thank you for blessing us with your presence. 93 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:03,760 As you know, I'm required to be here in order to oversee the ceremony. 94 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:09,760 Of which priest rings our bell the best to become the priest every year? 95 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:17,760 Yes, which priest, we call them a priest at that point, even though they're not yet a priest, rings the bell best to become the priest. 96 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,760 At which point they will be the priest. 97 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:25,760 Do you think that our parish could ever get just an already ordained priest, just even for a year? 98 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:30,760 Maybe this year we'll just have an already ordained priest, maybe we don't need a pre-cooked priest. 99 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:34,760 Traditions are what keep the church alive. 100 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:38,760 Was it not for this, it would be in the Dark Ages. 101 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:43,760 This bell itself is a relic that was touched by a saint. 102 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,760 What saint was that again? 103 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:46,760 A saint, a Jermis. 104 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,760 Saint Jermis. 105 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:49,760 Saint Jermis. 106 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:50,760 Saint Jermis. 107 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,760 Saint Jermis the patron saint of... 108 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:53,760 Bells and bell ringing. 109 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:54,760 Oh, of course, yes. 110 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,760 All of that was, did he go around just touching them all in? 111 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,760 Surely I've told you the tale of Saint Jermis. 112 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:01,760 Once every priest. 113 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:12,760 Saint Jermis was at first a man who was not a priest, but then he told, told the bell and told a way at his work and life. 114 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,760 Like some sort of bell whisperer. 115 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:15,760 And through that. 116 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,760 Oh, he told a way, making bells. 117 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:18,760 That's right. 118 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,760 I thought you meant he whispered two bells. 119 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,760 And through that became a priest. 120 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:33,760 And in that act of being a priest and not a priest through bells, he became the first person in this very room. 121 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:34,760 Wow. 122 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:38,760 To become a priest through the ringing of the bells. 123 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:40,760 So the first priest that Dunbracken had is a saint. 124 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:41,760 Saint Jermis. 125 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:42,760 Good Lord. 126 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,760 So the bell is quite valuable. 127 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:52,760 It's a sacred relic to our local community and to religion and to the world and universe at large. 128 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:53,760 Oh, right. 129 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:59,760 So if it was being, say, sold somewhere, that would be fairly easy to find, you would think. 130 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,760 Well, I wouldn't say that you could sell something priceless. 131 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,760 Well, you maybe wouldn't put a price on it, but I'm pretty sure an antiquities dealer would. 132 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,760 What would the price of something priceless be? 133 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:09,760 What would you pay for it? 134 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,760 Yeah, can't put a price on it. 135 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:16,760 Well, I shall return here tomorrow morning to start the blessing of the bell. 136 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:17,760 Of course. 137 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,760 So if you can ensure everything's in place. 138 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:21,760 Of course, everything will. 139 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,760 But as we said, getting cleaned and we're just for no, apropos, nothing. 140 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,760 We'll just maybe ring all the pawn shops and things like that. 141 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:28,760 Yeah. 142 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,760 Ring out, ring out you bells for the bells toll for thee. 143 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:33,760 Yes. 144 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:44,760 Thank you, Santa Jermis. 145 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:48,760 Police in Dunbracken have been left dumbfounded after a recent breakout from the short stay 146 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:53,760 car park, which is currently being used as the long stay jail cell due to a water damage 147 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,760 issue in the original long stay jail cells. 148 00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:02,760 The jailbreak appears to have been orchestrated by Vivian, who townsfolk will remember as 149 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:07,760 the recently incarcerated councillor from our sister city in America, the city of Colonell, 150 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:08,760 Georgia. 151 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:13,760 Vivian was of course originally taken in after she introduced a chili to the town food supply, 152 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:20,760 causing mass hysteria to occur at the local drive through restaurant Farmers Park It. 153 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:25,760 All that was left in Vivian's allocated jail cell slash car parking spot was a note saying 154 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:31,760 gone to Costco to get Beverly a jacket and some magazines. 155 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:36,760 Not entirely sure what or who a Costco is, but if anyone has any information on her or 156 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:40,760 Costco's whereabouts, please get in touch. 157 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:45,760 If you would like to know more about our sister city of Colonell, listen to Welcome to Colonell 158 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:50,760 to learn all about Vivian and her fellow councillors so that we can find this cost, Suncoe, and 159 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,760 she can finish serving her two day sentence. 160 00:08:53,760 --> 00:09:00,760 Or at the very least let us know how long the effects of this chili is expected to last. 161 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:04,760 The jailbreak appears to have occurred when police were called to the park this morning 162 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:08,760 after receiving reports of loud birds on the playing fins. 163 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:12,760 Thankfully, a police spokesperson has said that they arrived and settled the situation 164 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,760 quickly and effectively. 165 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:26,760 Alright guys, you all brought your uxacks? 166 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,760 You got your first day of kids? 167 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:29,760 Yeah. 168 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:30,760 What about your sleeping bags? 169 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:31,760 Oh my god. 170 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:32,760 Did you not pack them? 171 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,760 No, I thought you had them. 172 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,760 I just packed a black sack. 173 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:37,760 That'll keep me warm, right? 174 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:38,760 A what, sorry? 175 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:39,760 A black sack. 176 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:40,760 That'll keep you dry. 177 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:41,760 Like a bin bag? 178 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:42,760 Like a bin bag, yeah. 179 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:43,760 A black sack. 180 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:44,760 Well, it's better than nothing. 181 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,760 You sure you don't have any sleeping roll? 182 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:47,760 No sleeping bag. 183 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:49,760 I've got a Tesco's bag. 184 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:50,760 Alright, this is good. 185 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,760 Yeah, I've got a sandwich bag. 186 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,760 Look, look. 187 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:55,760 That could be for your hand. 188 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,760 The wild is all about improvisation. 189 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,760 I thought we'd be in a hotel. 190 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:03,760 You thought your Duke of Edinburgh camping experience was going to be in a hotel? 191 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,760 I was also told we'd stay in a hotel. 192 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:06,760 Yeah, it was on the email. 193 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,760 Well, this is good. 194 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,760 Because when you're in the wild, you're going to have to think on your feet. 195 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:12,760 Do we? 196 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:13,760 It's not going to be a day trip. 197 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,760 It's not going to be a hotel trip. 198 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,760 It's just I've been told I'm really bad at thinking on my feet. 199 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:18,760 Mm-hmm. 200 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:19,760 Well, we're going to fix that today. 201 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,760 Oh, it's just I find it quite triggering. 202 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,760 But do you want to sit down and you be not on your feet? 203 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,760 Yeah, can I do that for like the full three days? 204 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:27,760 I mean, not really. 205 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:28,760 There's bears in these woods. 206 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,760 Well, how about we do it in turns. 207 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,760 So you sit down and then I sit down and then we can... 208 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,760 Just take turns thinking. 209 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:37,760 Yeah. 210 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:38,760 Yeah. 211 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:39,760 No, I can stand. 212 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:40,760 I'll watch over you guys. 213 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:41,760 Oh, thanks. 214 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:42,760 Both of you take a seat. 215 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:43,760 Are you going to be thinking, like standing up? 216 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:44,760 No, I won't be thinking. 217 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:45,760 I'll just be standing. 218 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:46,760 Standing, OK. 219 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,760 No, I'll stand behind you guys. 220 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,760 No, if you're standing, you have to be thinking. 221 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,760 Oh, no one told me that. 222 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,760 Well, I am now. 223 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,760 OK, well, I'd like to be sitting, please. 224 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:57,760 So we'll all be sitting. 225 00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:58,760 That's not going to work. 226 00:10:58,760 --> 00:10:59,760 No, I have to stand then. 227 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,760 If you're sitting, I have to stand. 228 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,760 Oh, for the bears. 229 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:04,760 Yeah. 230 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,760 As you said, boss, look out. 231 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:07,760 You've got to be focused. 232 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,760 Would you mind standing in front of me, please? 233 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:10,760 The sun shining in my eyes. 234 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,760 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 235 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:12,760 Sorry, there you go. 236 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:13,760 Thank you. 237 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:14,760 That's so much better. 238 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,760 Thank you. 239 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,760 Well, I'm on the timer, so it'll be your turn in three minutes. 240 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:20,760 Three minutes, OK. 241 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,760 Guys, while we've been discussing here for the past minute, 242 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,760 the bears have already been planning. 243 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:26,760 How do you know that? 244 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:27,760 Because I trained these bears. 245 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:28,760 Hey, sir, where's the toilet? 246 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:29,760 And released them in these woods. 247 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:30,760 What do you do that for? 248 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:32,760 So that you can train and learn how to survive. 249 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:33,760 Train for what? 250 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,760 For surviving, for your Duke of Edinburgh award. 251 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,760 We did get the train here, actually. 252 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:38,760 I'd like to get the train home now. 253 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,760 Oh, a different kind of train. 254 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:41,760 I don't like it here, sir. 255 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:42,760 Where's the toilet? 256 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:43,760 Everywhere's the toilet, Joe. 257 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:44,760 Yeah. 258 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:45,760 I've got the Tesco's bag. 259 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:46,760 Do you want that? 260 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,760 Oh, I think a sandwich bag would be a better size for me, actually. 261 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:50,760 Yeah, Jennifer. 262 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:51,760 But what am I going to sleep in? 263 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,760 I can share my black sack with you. 264 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,760 If everywhere's a toilet, are we in a toilet? 265 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:58,760 I just went to the toilet. 266 00:11:58,760 --> 00:11:59,760 Sorry. 267 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:00,760 Oh, God. 268 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:01,760 Did. 269 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:02,760 Oh, God. 270 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:03,760 I'm sorry. 271 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:04,760 No, it's your turn to stand up. 272 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:05,760 I can't stand up. 273 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:06,760 Don't make me do it. 274 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:07,760 Oh, no. 275 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:08,760 Move away, at least. 276 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:09,760 Oh, my God. 277 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:10,760 Can I move? 278 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,760 I know I'm blocking the sun for you, but is this too much? 279 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,760 He doesn't deserve to have you as a shid after that. 280 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,760 Can I have the Tesco bag now, please? 281 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,760 The smell is definitely going to attract bears. 282 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,760 So I'm going to suggest, Joe, you stay here. 283 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,760 Guys, get your sandwich bag. 284 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:24,760 Yeah. 285 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:25,760 You can take... 286 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,760 You're not going to need this bag very soon, Joe. 287 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:28,760 I'm sorry, boss. 288 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,760 Sorry, should I eat my sandwich first? 289 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,760 Because I have the bag, but it's got my lunch in it. 290 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:37,760 So, like, should I eat that or, like, what should I do with it? 291 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:38,760 Yeah, I'm quite hungry, actually. 292 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:39,760 It's 1030. 293 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:40,760 Yeah. 294 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,760 Tell you what, give me the sandwich. 295 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,760 You guys can stay here with Joe. 296 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,760 I'll go and get help. 297 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,760 Did anyone bring any Sudokreme? 298 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,760 Hi. 299 00:12:49,760 --> 00:13:02,760 Just look at the cell, this bell. 300 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,760 I would have to take you out to the back of my truck, 301 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:08,760 but I've got a bell here in my truck. 302 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:09,760 Is it too big or something? 303 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:10,760 Oh, it's massive. 304 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,760 Biggest bell you've probably ever seen. 305 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:13,760 It sounds like a scam. 306 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,760 He's going to mug us when we go out. 307 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,760 What? 308 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:18,760 Why would I do that? 309 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:19,760 Here, look, here's my wallet. 310 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:20,760 You can have my wallet. 311 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:21,760 No, you're not in it. 312 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:22,760 All right, but you have it. 313 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,760 Are you wanting to pawn this wallet? 314 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,760 No, no, I'm wanting to pawn the bell that's in my truck. 315 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,760 If you'd just come out with me. 316 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:30,760 It's fine craftsmanship on this. 317 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:31,760 This wall is good leather. 318 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:32,760 It is. 319 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:33,760 The stitching is... 320 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,760 As a genuine fake. 321 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:36,760 Tommy Hilfiger that. 322 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:37,760 Hilfiger, it says on it here, I see. 323 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,760 Ah, genuine fake. 324 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,760 Got it from Tiger himself. 325 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:44,760 You have a lot of ask for a Hilfiger around these ways. 326 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,760 I'm more interested in the bell. 327 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,760 I think once you see this fucking massive bell. 328 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:50,760 It's no need for language, all right? 329 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:51,760 It's a pawn shop. 330 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:52,760 But once you saw that... 331 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:53,760 It's a family pawn shop. 332 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,760 There is no way I can describe this without being a little lewd. 333 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,760 OK, well, let me ask you one thing. 334 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,760 Can we see the inside of this wallet? 335 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:05,760 If you agree, if you look at the wallet, you have to come and look in my van. 336 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:11,760 The best I think we could do is for this wallet, we'll look at the bell for five seconds. 337 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,760 That's good enough for me, because once you see this, bad boy, 338 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,760 you will ho ho, you will start cursing. 339 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:20,760 You will be throwing out, and I don't want to say this, profanities quite consistently. 340 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:21,760 It's a family pawn shop. 341 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:22,760 It is a family pawn shop. 342 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:23,760 Are the kids here? 343 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:24,760 In the back. 344 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,760 All right, well then, thankfully my van isn't in the back, 345 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:27,760 so you can curse as much as you want. 346 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:28,760 That's out in the street. 347 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:29,760 Anyone can curse in the street. 348 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,760 All right, well, bring the bell in. 349 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,760 I can't, it's too big. 350 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:34,760 I would need just to... 351 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:35,760 I mean, I can... 352 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,760 I mean, if we pawn a big bell, where are we going to put it? 353 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,760 We can't put that on display, taking up space. 354 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:40,760 That's a fair point. 355 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:41,760 I didn't consider that. 356 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,760 I would be willing to cut you a deal, though, because this is... 357 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:47,760 I believe this was touched by a German saint, so that's all I'm saying. 358 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:48,760 That's all I'm saying. 359 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:52,760 So this was heavily touched by a German saint. 360 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:57,760 And do you have any certificate of authenticity that can show this? 361 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,760 I could ask the church for one. 362 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,760 This sounds like you don't. 363 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,760 I don't have one, no, because I want to be frank with you right now. 364 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,760 I stole this from the church. 365 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:07,760 It's the church's bell. 366 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,760 Stolen goods. 367 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:09,760 Stolen goods. 368 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,760 Well, you've come to the right place, because we are a pawn shop. 369 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:12,760 We are a pawn shop. 370 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:13,760 You're one of only two pawn shops. 371 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,760 And the other one threw me out in my face. 372 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:16,760 They said, we don't deal in stolen goods. 373 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:17,760 You need to go down the road. 374 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,760 The family pawn shop you need to go to. 375 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:20,760 Yeah. 376 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,760 I was really hoping to be dealing with one of the kids, because I've heard 377 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:26,760 they're much more willing to go into the black market sort of antiquities. 378 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,760 Don't you worry about our kids, mate, all right? 379 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:35,760 I don't think we know much about bells, but we do know someone who's a bit of an expert in old German touch bells. 380 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,760 Let me see if I can get my buddy down here to have a look. 381 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,760 Grant, I'll wait. I'll wait. 382 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:54,760 Townsfolk have become increasingly concerned this afternoon after a flock of dead birds was discovered scattered across the playing fields. 383 00:15:56,760 --> 00:16:01,760 No one is sure where they came from or if they are the same birds that police had been called about this morning. 384 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:08,760 That appears unlikely, however, as the police received reports of loud birds in the park, not dead birds in the park. 385 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,760 Yeah, it just arrived there. 386 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,760 Just a small potted plant. 387 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,760 And I don't know where it came from. 388 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,760 I don't want to move it. 389 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:30,760 I would like to park my car in my driveway, but the potted plant's there. 390 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,760 And you phoned 999 for this? 391 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,760 Yes. 392 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:45,760 I was worried about who left it, why they left it, because, and I'll tell you this, it was on its side with a little bit of the topsoil falling off. 393 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:46,760 Wow. 394 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:52,760 And there were footprints, small footprints, because there wasn't a lot of soil through the mar graphs. 395 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:59,760 Well, that does sound like a horticultural crime, but not something of police matter. 396 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:05,760 There was a second set of footprints and a Swiss Army knife also dropped. 397 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:10,760 I think two gardeners maybe got in a fight on my driveway. 398 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,760 My ring doorbell's not working. 399 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,760 That was going to be my next question. 400 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:15,760 Or else I would have. 401 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,760 Those things really help me out. 402 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,760 Yeah, because I don't want to. 403 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:20,760 It saves a lot of time. 404 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:25,760 Yeah, and I don't want to move it in case, you know, it's evidence. 405 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:30,760 I didn't commit the crime, but if I move it, then my fingerprints are going to be on it. 406 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:35,760 Well, I do have to command you for airing on the side of caution. 407 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,760 As you saw something suspicious. 408 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:38,760 Thank you. 409 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:44,760 Do you have any cause to believe that there might be a device in the potted plant? 410 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:45,760 No. 411 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,760 Or do you think it was just peripheral to the gardener's scuffle? 412 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:55,760 I think it might have been the cause of the scuffle because it's a particularly nice plant. 413 00:17:55,760 --> 00:18:02,760 I think one of them maybe grew it with the seedling from the other one and he didn't know it was his seedling and they were annoyed. 414 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,760 So you know an awful lot about this. 415 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,760 I do. I'm a gardener myself. 416 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,760 I think it was Jake and Samuel. 417 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,760 I think it was Jake and Samuel. 418 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,760 They've been on an awful tiff also. 419 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,760 Samuel's at the bottom of my yard bleeding. 420 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:22,760 Would you like to speak to him? 421 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:26,760 I'm not going to interview evidence at this point. 422 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,760 Oh, I didn't put my fingerprints on you. 423 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:33,760 I'm still alive and could be helped by a good doctor in time. 424 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,760 I'll get to the ring them after 999. 425 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,760 Once I'm done with this. 426 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:39,760 Okay. 427 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:46,760 Now, interestingly, he won't implicate it was Jake, but they've been having a bit of a tiff for a while now. 428 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,760 Sir, just to clarify, did you witness this? 429 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,760 No, I just came home. 430 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:51,760 Oh, fucking sure. 431 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:55,760 I saw you at the window, you voyeur. 432 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:56,760 Okay, yes, I did see it. 433 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,760 I didn't. I thought I was hiding in my blinds. 434 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:03,760 So I looked out my blinds a little and I saw. 435 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,760 You can't afford full length blinds. 436 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:06,760 Yeah. 437 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:07,760 I saw his cock. 438 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,760 Yes, I was wearing a kimono. 439 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:17,760 Sir, you cannot address me directly as you are evidence and then that could implicate us. 440 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,760 I wish someone would dress him directly. 441 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,760 He can't do it himself. 442 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:25,760 I was in the comfort of my own home. 443 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,760 You and you were fighting on my property. 444 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,760 I wasn't fighting. 445 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:31,760 All right, you were losing a fight then. 446 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:44,760 Oh, sick bird. 447 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,760 In the ongoing Birds in the Park saga, a further twist has reared its twisted head, 448 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:53,760 as a journalist from the Dunbracken bracket was sent amateur video footage of an intense battle 449 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:58,760 between police and birds that occurred at 11am this morning. 450 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,760 Police appear to have been wounded but thankfully none of them have died. 451 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,760 No one knows what the birds were doing at the park or what caused them to be so loud, 452 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:23,760 which prompted residents to call the police in the first place. 453 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:27,760 Officer, officer, that squirrel is going to destroy that tree. 454 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,760 Please, please, either you shoot it or I will. 455 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,760 Samuel, you know I'm not allowed to discharge my gun anymore. 456 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:34,760 I will do it. 457 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,760 I can't let anyone, they will see that there's shots fired. 458 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,760 They'll know. There's an app now. 459 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:42,760 Sorry, there's an app now. 460 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:49,760 They have an app that can triangulate the sounds of gunshots and they can play it via satellite. 461 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:53,760 I just think you're trying to stop me from shooting the squirrel. 462 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,760 I can show you it right now on my phone. 463 00:20:55,760 --> 00:21:01,760 I won't because I'm locked out of it because I got my password wrong and it won't recognize my face. 464 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,760 Show me this. I don't understand how this would work. 465 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,760 I just said I can't. I would show you it. 466 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:06,760 Is it on the App Store? 467 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,760 It is on the App Store. It's called Guns Now. 468 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:10,760 Okay, let me... 469 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:11,760 Misleading title. 470 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:16,760 Yeah. Okay, let me type in Guns Now. 471 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:17,760 399. 472 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,760 It's for the safety of the community. 473 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,760 So wait, hold on. If you're locked out, we can just shoot. 474 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,760 No, because they don't know by just that. They'll check my gun. 475 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,760 I have to check my gun in every time I go home. 476 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:28,760 I can use mine. 477 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,760 Why wouldn't you just shoot it? Why would you call me here? 478 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,760 I'm trying to follow the law here. 479 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,760 I've been told all for just shooting animals unprompted. 480 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:41,760 Now what happens if you shoot this delicate derelict tree? 481 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,760 I guess it's not derelict. If there's a squirrel living in it. 482 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,760 I'm not going to hit the tree. I will just hit the squirrel. It's on the branch. 483 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,760 That's what you said about the spider. 484 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:55,760 Yes, and I missed the spider. I hit the oil tank. It went sideways very quickly. 485 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,760 Inadvertently, I guess the spider did die. We think. 486 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:00,760 No, the spider survived. 487 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:01,760 Really? 488 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:02,760 Yeah. 489 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:03,760 No corpses ever. 490 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,760 No, no, I just watched it go away while I was trying to reload my gun 491 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,760 and then all the oil spilling into fire distracted me. 492 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:10,760 That's what happens. 493 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:15,760 Look, this is a really important tree and I can't have anyone shooting shots near it. 494 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,760 I can't risk that sort of thing to my career. 495 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,760 No, but you'll let a squirrel on it. 496 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,760 The squirrel's not doing anything wrong. 497 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:25,760 It's going to destroy this tree. It could be infected. It could gnaw at the tree. 498 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:30,760 By law, that squirrel is now squatting in this tree and we cannot evict it. 499 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,760 Squatter's law doesn't kick in immediately. Trust me, I know. 500 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,760 Well, how long has the squirrel been there? We don't know how long it's been there. 501 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,760 No, I've been timing it. Seven minutes and 45 seconds. 502 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:40,760 Okay, so you've got... 503 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:41,760 By the way, good response time. 504 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,760 You're lucky I was on my break. 505 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,760 Oh, no, I wouldn't have called the police if I thought they sent someone else out. 506 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,760 You're more tolerant than other officers. 507 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,760 So you knew they were going to send me out? 508 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:51,760 Yeah. 509 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,760 Why wouldn't you just call me on my phone? 510 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:54,760 Because I wanted to be official. 511 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,760 Do you want to follow the law? I'll give you that. 512 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,760 All right, here's what I'm going to do. 513 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,760 I'm not going to shoot the squirrel. 514 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:01,760 Oh, come on. 515 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:02,760 But I'm going to turn my back. 516 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:03,760 I'm not going to shoot you. 517 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,760 I didn't think you were going to shoot me. 518 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:07,760 Where were you going with that? 519 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:08,760 Samuel, I thought... 520 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,760 Sorry, I shouldn't interrupt. My brother keeps telling me I should... 521 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,760 Yeah, I was going to turn my back and put on my noise-canceling headphones, 522 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:19,760 and if shots were sounded, then yes, the app would pick it up and I would be dispatched here. 523 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:24,760 But by that time, I'm sure you and the dead squirrel carcass will be long gone. 524 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,760 All right, let's give it a go. Put them on. 525 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,760 Okay. 526 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,760 I've been cheating on your wife. 527 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,760 Okay, I'm going to turn my back now. 528 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,760 Okay, gracious me with the check you didn't hear that. 529 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:58,760 And... 530 00:23:58,760 --> 00:23:59,760 Yeah, I hit the tree dead on. 531 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:00,760 What? 532 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:01,760 I hit the tree dead on. 533 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:06,760 Okay, so we're going to have to take you in because this is a national tree. 534 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,760 It is of historical significance. 535 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,760 This was the first tree planted in the town, so I'm sorry, 536 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:13,760 but I'm going to have to place you under arrest. 537 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:14,760 That's fair. 538 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:19,760 This is Dispatch. Shots fired. Shots fired. We've pinpointed it at the tree. 539 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:23,760 Dispatch, I'm already at the tree. I can deal with that. 540 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:29,760 This is Dispatch. If you're at the tree, then who fired the shot? 541 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,760 Don't you do this to me. 542 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:32,760 It was a man who... 543 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:33,760 Run. 544 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,760 It was a man who I am attempting to shoot, 545 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,760 and that is why there are shots being fired from my gun. 546 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:43,760 I'm going to try and take out the squirrel. 547 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:49,760 Well, sounds like you have it covered. Dispatch out. 548 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,760 Ah! 549 00:24:52,760 --> 00:25:01,760 I missed the squirrel. 550 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:05,760 Police have once again been called out on a bird-related escapade today, 551 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:11,760 as they received several calls of loud birds once again, only this time at the seafront. 552 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:16,760 Upon arrival at the seafront marina outside Dunbracken's only fish and chip shop, Chips? 553 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,760 There appeared to be a gaggle of many different birds all flocking towards what appeared to be 554 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,760 one man in a large chicken costume. 555 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:29,760 After refusing to stand down, police fired upon the large chicken man with no prejudice. 556 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:34,760 Later, Police Officer Stephen Buckets told the Evening News that he couldn't tell if the person 557 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:40,760 was repeatedly saying caw or bomb, and, not one to put the lives of all of Dunbracken at risk, 558 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,760 Officer Buckets shot the large chicken man. 559 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:55,760 No charges have been levelled at Officer Buckets, nor are any expected. 560 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,760 Here he is. Klaus is here. 561 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,760 What is the reasons I have been called today? 562 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,760 Alright, so this bell is going to blow your fucking mind, and I'm sorry for... 563 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:06,760 What's the language, please? 564 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,760 We're outside the shop. The kids are in the back, like you said. We're all good here. 565 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,760 What's the language? I am not used to this kind of behaviour. 566 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:15,760 I do apologise on his behalf. 567 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:16,760 Well, is it Klaus? Klaus? 568 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:17,760 Yeah. 569 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,760 Okay, right. Well, nice to meet you, first off. 570 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,760 Your hands are a little wet, but I'm not going to judge you for that. 571 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:29,760 They must be ready to feel the merchandise. They cannot be dry. How would I inspect it? 572 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:30,760 That's fair. That's a good point. 573 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,760 This man has never dealt in porn before. He is a dry hand. 574 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,760 Lubrication is required to sense the value of any item. 575 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,760 Really? Okay, well, that's good for me to know. 576 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,760 I will be getting into every nook and cranny. 577 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,760 This is a big bell, so there's a lot of nooks, a lot of crannies. 578 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:47,760 And you would be doing this with dry hands? 579 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:51,760 Look, I didn't touch it. I was using gloves whenever I took it. 580 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,760 But I'll open this door. Your mind's going to be fucking blown. 581 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:55,760 Oh, it's the language. 582 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:56,760 Terrible, isn't it? 583 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:57,760 Alright, so, you ready? 584 00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:58,760 Yeah. 585 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,760 Oh my god. This is a big bell. 586 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,760 Is that your expert opinion? 587 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,760 Yes, we have seen bells like this in Germany. 588 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,760 Often they are... 589 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,760 This was touched by a German, which is why we got you involved. 590 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,760 I got him involved. Let's be clear. 591 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:21,760 I know my stuff, and when I don't know my stuff, I get so many nos. 592 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,760 That's good business. And I stain my stuff. 593 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,760 I shall touch this bell in every nook and cranny. 594 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:28,760 Get a no for it. 595 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:30,760 Interesting. 596 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:33,760 Oh, yes. 597 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:37,760 Now, do we need to get this out of town in the next 18 hours? 598 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:38,760 Just... 599 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,760 This bell was definitely produced by a saint. 600 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,760 It has very similar bells since Germany. 601 00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,760 Would you... How much would you charge for such a... 602 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:51,760 I don't want to say priceless thing. 603 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:57,760 I would say in its original state, certificate of authenticity. 604 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,760 Priceless. A priceless bell. 605 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,760 What about if we can't authenticate it? What is our... 606 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:08,760 But for my good friend at the family pawn shop, I'd say you should offer... 607 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:10,760 30 US dollars. 608 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:11,760 30 dollars? 609 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:12,760 US dollars. 610 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,760 30 US dollars. 611 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,760 Thank you very much, Klaus. I'll see you later on. 612 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:20,760 Look, I spent three days taking this out of the church. 613 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:21,760 Yeah. 614 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,760 Thankfully no one showed up or else... 615 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:28,760 And I spent three days not working, so I lost at least easily 200 quid. 616 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:32,760 I make a clean 66 pound... 617 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:36,760 My issue is your finances aren't really my problem. 618 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,760 But what is your problem is that you said you have 18 hours to shift this 619 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,760 and you've been offered 30 dollars. I'm going to offer you 20. 620 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,760 Look, come on, man. I'm doing you a favour. This is a huge bell. 621 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:46,760 Look, I can't store... 622 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,760 It's been touched by a German. Come on, man. 623 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:49,760 It's now been touched by two Germans. 624 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:53,760 Exactly. So is that 40 quid? Is that what we're saying? Is Klaus a saint? 625 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,760 I'm not going to overvalue something that Klaus says. 626 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,760 He clearly couldn't have gone into every nook and cranny of this. 627 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:02,760 That was a very quick... 628 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:03,760 So you're disputing... 629 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:07,760 I'm disputing it. Get another German in here. 630 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,760 I don't believe that it's 30 quid. 631 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,760 OK, well, let me see if I can get another German. 632 00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,760 But do it quick. Can you do it quick? 633 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,760 You're really pushy here, you know. 634 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,760 There's a queue of people out the door at this point. 635 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,760 Is the 30 dollars still on the table? 636 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:22,760 No, it's 20. 637 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:23,760 Oh, for fuck off. 638 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,760 Right, that's S10 now for your language. 639 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:27,760 All right, we've got a deal. 640 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:28,760 Yeah, fine. 641 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:29,760 OK. 642 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:30,760 Is it 10 US dollars? 643 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:31,760 Nigerian dollars. 644 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:32,760 Come on, man. 645 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:34,760 I've had to bump you down again. 646 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:35,760 That's such bullshit. 647 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:36,760 Come on. 648 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:37,760 I wish I was dealing with your kids. 649 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:38,760 Fine, fine. 650 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:52,760 Back to Dunbracken is created, produced and edited by Connoth McVeigh. 651 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:58,760 For more information on the podcast, you can follow us at Dunbracken pod on Instagram. 652 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:16,760 This episode featured Patrick Meyer, Marcus Keighley, Laura Conlon, Eddie Goodwin, Kate Thompson, Rachel Coulter, David McCauley, Joe Donaldson, Niall McKenna and Aaron Marshall. 653 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:24,760 The opening and closing music was created by Conor Mallon and you can check out his entire album Unearthed on Spotify now. 654 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:25,760 Thank you for listening. 655 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:53,760 We look forward to welcoming you back to Dunbracken very soon.