1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:15,720 Breathe in and breathe out. 2 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:20,080 You're floating on a cloud. 3 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:24,920 You have nothing to worry about. 4 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,920 No problems at all. 5 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,000 Your wife didn't leave you. 6 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:36,040 She's not sleeping with your brother. 7 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:40,800 You absolutely are not in any financial debt. 8 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:47,040 You're definitely not bankrupt. 9 00:00:47,040 --> 00:01:16,680 You have no pain to worry about. 10 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:24,560 Welcome back to Dunbracken. 11 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:30,520 Hi um I've got my granddad here he's coming in for his uh his first ever tattoo. 12 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:35,800 Oh yeah yeah of course yes uh you messaged me earlier about this. 13 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:36,800 On Instagram yeah yeah that was me. 14 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:37,800 I've been taking myself up all day. 15 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:38,800 Alright uh I mean. 16 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:39,800 He's really excited. 17 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:45,800 Don't do it Thomas you'll regret it when you get older. 18 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,480 Stop it Philly. 19 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,360 Just cause you regretted your tattoo and now it looks odd. 20 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,360 I'm ready. 21 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,440 I've waited till I'm older. 22 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:57,000 This is grandad's friend Philly um he didn't actually invite him he just kind of brought 23 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,320 himself along to try and stop grandad from getting a tattoo. 24 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,960 I've been talking about this for months and he's been talking me down for months. 25 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,140 I'm just really excited you know he's been he's very passionate. 26 00:02:07,140 --> 00:02:08,640 What was the design you wanted again grandad? 27 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:09,640 What are you thinking of? 28 00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:10,640 What are you thinking of? 29 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:17,320 I've went through a few ideas but I think I'm finally settled on you know a Celtic design. 30 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,320 Oh yes yes. 31 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:22,080 I want a bee on top of that. 32 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,800 So so generic. 33 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,800 Can't believe you're going to regret it for the rest of your life. 34 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:35,480 You didn't let me finish but the bee itself is in vertige. 35 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,840 See that's not black and yellow instead of yellow and black that's original. 36 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:40,840 Jackass. 37 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:41,840 There's no need for that language. 38 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,840 There's no need for it around you all the time. 39 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,000 Is that something you can do without be okay? 40 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:51,920 Yeah yeah yeah no just give me a just give me a wee minute I will you know drop a couple 41 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:56,240 of ideas and then we'll see how you feel just like vibe it out because. 42 00:02:56,240 --> 00:03:01,040 Also if that's not an option we could go the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 43 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:02,040 Oh. 44 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:06,720 But instead of swords and katanas they're just holding hurlybats. 45 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,480 Oh yeah no wait. 46 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,080 Would you prefer that one? 47 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:12,080 We could yeah. 48 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:16,280 And they're not named after Italian artists. 49 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,280 This one. 50 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,360 Oh Irish artists. 51 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,360 That's really interesting. 52 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,720 That's why and they paint with violence. 53 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:23,720 Wow wow. 54 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:24,720 He's very passionate. 55 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:25,720 He's very passionate. 56 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:26,720 That's deep. 57 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:27,720 That's deep yeah. 58 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,600 Is that original for you Billy? 59 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,040 I still think you'll regret it for the rest of your days. 60 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:47,960 Oh just because my brother is the exact same one and regrets it doesn't mean I will. 61 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:48,960 Thank you. 62 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,760 Thank you for all the gifts. 63 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,760 Thank you for the um the nibbles. 64 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:01,320 Thank you for the years of your lives spent working with me. 65 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,320 Woo speech. 66 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:03,320 I'm doing a speech. 67 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,320 Let them finish. 68 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:05,320 Sorry. 69 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:06,320 Get to the point. 70 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,320 Let them finish. 71 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:16,960 So it's a funny thing really because I looked forward to retirement for decades. 72 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:20,000 So did we. 73 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,400 But now now it's here. 74 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:25,880 I'm can I have some more wine please? 75 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,160 Now it's finally here. 76 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,640 I'm scared. 77 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:33,320 I'm scared about how I'll fill my days. 78 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:39,000 I'm scared of scared that what happened to my father what happened to me he he was dead 79 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,000 within two years. 80 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,000 Nobody cares. 81 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:47,240 He was dead within two years of retirement and I mean he fell into a deep deep depression. 82 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,840 Has he opened his gifts? 83 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,440 He gets from all of us. 84 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:57,720 I should have I should I should have visited him more but I've relocated here to Dunbracken 85 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:04,960 for work and you know so far from the airport and it's cheaper to fly to Barcelona than 86 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:05,960 back home. 87 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,800 Here he is going on about airport prices again. 88 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:09,800 He loves to travel. 89 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:14,560 But isn't it weird that you can fly further for for less money than. 90 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,560 Can I have some more wine please? 91 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:27,280 I'd go and order a tibetha instead of visiting my dad who got depressed and ill and died. 92 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,280 I'm scared. 93 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:32,000 But thank you for your efforts. 94 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,640 All right great speech. 95 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,320 Now why don't you open this gift? 96 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,320 That's from all of us. 97 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:40,080 From all of us even if not all of us put in the same amount. 98 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,080 Just saying. 99 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,480 We put in ratios as work from our payslips. 100 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,480 Yep. 101 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,680 You like it? 102 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,840 Um yes. 103 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:55,360 Um it's interesting. 104 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,560 Very cuboid. 105 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:58,560 Yes. 106 00:05:58,560 --> 00:05:59,560 Very cuboid. 107 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,560 Yeah. 108 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:04,520 I mean I don't think I've got anything as cuboid as this in my house. 109 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,520 That's what we thought. 110 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,680 Is that an enormous Rubik's Cube? 111 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:12,240 Yeah yeah I mean look we just we just but we know you were worried about retirement 112 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,680 we thought this would keep your brain active. 113 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,680 Yes it'll keep you busy for years. 114 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,120 All the squares are black. 115 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,000 They're slightly different tints. 116 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,040 One's obsidian, one's dark grey. 117 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,040 Space black. 118 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,040 Space black. 119 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,040 There's even a navy one. 120 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,240 It's hidden but it's in there. 121 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:31,920 It'll make sure your eyesight is sharp and keen. 122 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:32,920 Thank you. 123 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,080 I mean that will keep you busy. 124 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,320 Are you sure these are different colors? 125 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:37,320 Yeah yeah. 126 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,200 Oh here's your card. 127 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,200 Oh thank you. 128 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,680 Um most of us signed it. 129 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,440 Um Ben didn't but. 130 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,440 I have a wrist problem. 131 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,440 Mm hmm. 132 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,880 We all know why that is Ben. 133 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:50,880 That's not funny. 134 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,040 That's not funny no. 135 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,840 I actually do it's like carpal tunnel but worse. 136 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,440 Can I have some more wine please? 137 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,440 Yeah. 138 00:06:58,440 --> 00:06:59,440 I mean maybe slow down a wee bit. 139 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:00,440 Oh look it's after five. 140 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:04,240 It's a lovely picture of a gorilla. 141 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:09,040 Yeah something funny with its ears and hands. 142 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,640 It's a joke the hands are the feet and the feet are the hands. 143 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,640 Don't you get it? 144 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,240 It's your favorite gorilla. 145 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,640 It's dead now. 146 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:16,640 That's Gerald. 147 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,640 Yeah. 148 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:18,640 Yeah. 149 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,400 You know what it's been so long since you've been to the zoo. 150 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,600 Now that you've retired you can go to the zoo every day. 151 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:23,880 You can get a season pass. 152 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:25,160 You can bring your cuboid. 153 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,360 They've resurrected Gerald. 154 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,360 No. 155 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,360 They stuffed him. 156 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,560 Oh who the hell did that? 157 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:32,560 Some crazy woman. 158 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:33,560 Looks like a real man. 159 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:36,160 You can find it out in your free time now. 160 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,800 You see there's so many ways to fill your day. 161 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,000 You don't have to get depressed like your dad. 162 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,000 Yeah. 163 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:47,320 You want me to stave off depression by finding out who taxidermied my favorite gorilla. 164 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:48,320 Endless Sisters of Time. 165 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:49,320 There you go. 166 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:50,320 Yeah. 167 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,320 You can start with that. 168 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:56,440 Do you think people would listen to a podcast where I try to identify bad taxidermist? 169 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,040 I think you can record one. 170 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,600 You can put it out into the ethernet and never look at the numbers. 171 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:01,600 Sure dad. 172 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,600 Yeah. 173 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:03,920 Well maybe I'll do that. 174 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,000 You could visit Granddad's grave. 175 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,440 Try to see who badly taxidermied him. 176 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:11,840 But the plane costs are so much cheaper. 177 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,840 You know I could go to the Balkans. 178 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,800 You could compare the different costs. 179 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,920 We know you could go to Ibiza instead of going to visit his grave in Barcelona. 180 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:20,920 We know. 181 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:21,920 We know. 182 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,600 We could just go to Barcelona and never come back. 183 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,000 I mean it's just a suggestion. 184 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,000 I mean it's cheaper. 185 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,000 Cheaper. 186 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000 Yeah. 187 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,480 We wouldn't have to listen to you speechifying all the time. 188 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,760 Your mum's still there too. 189 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,760 Yeah. 190 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,240 You keep complaining about never seeing your dad and your mum. 191 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:36,360 I think mum would be quite keen for you to do that. 192 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,440 Oh that reminds me I need your key card. 193 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,560 Do you need my gun as well? 194 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:42,720 Eh you can keep it. 195 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:43,720 Well hold on. 196 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,760 Let's not be histy. 197 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,720 How are you feeling? 198 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,760 Why are you crying? 199 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,480 When you hit my little speech there. 200 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,960 I stoned in and out to be quite honest. 201 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:55,960 It was very long. 202 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:56,960 Yeah it was tough. 203 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,800 I don't think I would be safe with a gun right now. 204 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,880 Well if you feel unsafe you should be armed. 205 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:02,880 Yeah. 206 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:03,880 No. 207 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:04,880 That's fine. 208 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:05,880 You hold on to it. 209 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:06,880 Yeah you keep the gun. 210 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:07,880 I think that's... 211 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,880 If you're worried about someone attacking you. 212 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:09,880 Yeah no it's better. 213 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:13,760 It's odd as it is to know that you have your gun and can use it at any point during the 214 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:14,760 day. 215 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:15,760 Yeah it's very relieving. 216 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:16,760 Yeah. 217 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:22,040 Now we might be talking about company business and that's you know confidential. 218 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,040 Yeah and you're tired. 219 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,320 I've still got expertise. 220 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:31,840 Yeah yeah but you know it's division you know if there's a leak and then you're not contract. 221 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,840 And the thing is we have to decide. 222 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,840 I'm still working till five. 223 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,840 Yeah you can have the day. 224 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,520 You can have the day. 225 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:41,520 Take it off. 226 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,520 Don't worry we'll just take it off your final paycheck. 227 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:45,240 I want the final three minutes. 228 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,240 The thing is dad we have to discuss who's taking over as president. 229 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,320 I don't want to I have a carpal tunnel thing. 230 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,320 Yeah we all know. 231 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,320 We all know. 232 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,320 It's a real condition. 233 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:54,320 Two more minutes. 234 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:59,920 I can make a final department decision. 235 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:00,920 So it's me or him. 236 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:01,920 Yeah you know what. 237 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:02,920 Which one of us is going to be president. 238 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,920 Do I get a vote? 239 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:05,920 No. 240 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,760 Go jerk off in the copy room. 241 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,560 My decision is this. 242 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:10,560 We're going to advertise. 243 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:11,560 No! 244 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:14,160 We're going to advertise the vacancy. 245 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,160 We're going to hire from outside the company. 246 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:19,160 We're going to hire from outside Dunbracken. 247 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,160 No! 248 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:24,080 Oh no mums in Barcelona. 249 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,080 You gonna give it to mum? 250 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,080 Of course not. 251 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,080 Don't be ridiculous. 252 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,560 I'm going to hire someone who's qualified to do the job. 253 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:33,920 If you do that I'll put salt in the tea every day. 254 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,920 If you do that I will burn this company to the ground. 255 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,520 I'll probably jerk off in the coffee room. 256 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:57,600 Timmy and Phil have put in a request that they are stopping taking the medication and 257 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:01,840 I don't know how to get them to. 258 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:07,280 I've been trying several techniques and they have stopped every one of them. 259 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:13,080 So now I'm scared that they're both just well going to die frankly. 260 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,200 This is the final stage in any person's life. 261 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,800 Mine or theirs? 262 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:18,800 Theirs. 263 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:19,800 Okay yes. 264 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:20,800 I mean I agreed. 265 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:21,800 You must respect. 266 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,480 They have more life experience than me. 267 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,320 Maybe they're just like wasn't all that great. 268 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:26,920 Okay I'm going to stop the training. 269 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,360 I'm going to stop the training now. 270 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:35,280 So do you remember the last time a colleague agreed with you that the residents of this 271 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,840 nursing home should die? 272 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:41,440 Yeah I mean I've had a lot of therapy to try and block it out but apparently that's not 273 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,560 what I was supposed to be doing in the therapy. 274 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:45,320 You're just very willable Jackson. 275 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:51,560 I know but this time I really tried to convince them that they shouldn't want to die but again 276 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,640 their logic was flawless. 277 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,120 What was their logic? 278 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,600 Respect your elders. 279 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,520 Listen I understand. 280 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,440 I've been there. 281 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:05,160 I came in here and these old people ran loops around me. 282 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,040 I didn't know whether I was coming or going. 283 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:12,560 I think if it was just Phil or just Timmy I could mentally convince one of them but 284 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,560 they're a team in that room. 285 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:17,760 Timmy is a powerhouse. 286 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:23,760 Yeah the logic puzzles that they get me into in that room of theirs. 287 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:27,840 It's like an escape room but just in my mind. 288 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,160 But they want to die. 289 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,160 No? 290 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,040 Well I'm just saying that's what they want. 291 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,040 I'm not saying. 292 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,040 Yes but you're... 293 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,040 Do I agree with this? 294 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,880 You're convincing yourself that it's okay because you're trying to get out of this. 295 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,240 I'm going to send you back there. 296 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:41,240 Oh no. 297 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,400 And you're going to have to tell them that they have to take their medication. 298 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:44,400 You have to take your medication. 299 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,360 And if they don't take their medication do you know what you do? 300 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,160 Leave the room and close the door. 301 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,640 Jackson no! 302 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,280 Pray to God. 303 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,800 Stop relying on God. 304 00:12:55,800 --> 00:13:02,200 I stopped relying on God a long time ago and ever since then my house keeps burning down. 305 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:03,200 Wow. 306 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,200 Metaphorically or? 307 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,440 Oh no literally. 308 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,080 I don't have insurance. 309 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,540 But listen to this. 310 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:11,400 I don't believe in God. 311 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:17,000 So the fact that large singed crosses appear on my lawn is no concern to me. 312 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,800 But this isn't about me. 313 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:19,920 This is about you. 314 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,240 They do believe in God. 315 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,880 Timmy believes in God. 316 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:23,880 Phil yeah. 317 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:24,880 Phil and Timmy. 318 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:25,880 Phil and Timmy yeah. 319 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:26,880 Timmy. 320 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,480 Timmy yes I see yeah. 321 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,360 They do yes they believe in God. 322 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:34,680 They said they've done terrible things and they just want it all over. 323 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,720 I think they think they're getting into heaven though. 324 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,820 I don't think they realise that the terrible things element is probably. 325 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,760 What terrible things have they done? 326 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:43,840 Couldn't get it out of them. 327 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,040 You could get out of them that they've done terrible things. 328 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,560 But they would not. 329 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:51,840 Timmy was almost going to say but Phil slapped him in the back of the head. 330 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:52,840 Very very slowly though. 331 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,240 Because he doesn't have a lot of movement in his. 332 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,280 Well then you understand they have to live. 333 00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:58,280 Oh God. 334 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,080 Because that is their punishment for the terrible thing. 335 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,360 Whoa yeah. 336 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:05,960 Maybe hell is that room that they're in and they need to stay in it as long as possible 337 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,520 before real hell. 338 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,520 I've been convinced. 339 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:26,040 I'm glad we came all this way now to see this big giant Irish castle. 340 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,480 Oh it's beautiful isn't it? 341 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,480 It is beautiful. 342 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:29,480 Yeah. 343 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,320 I love it because it's older than our country. 344 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,880 Yeah yeah you don't get anything like that. 345 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,360 The oldest thing we have is. 346 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:35,640 Old George I think. 347 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:36,960 Yeah old George yeah. 348 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:37,960 He's 89. 349 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,960 Are you talking about me? 350 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:43,080 Yeah I'm so glad you could come with us old George. 351 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,080 I'm cold. 352 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:47,640 Don't worry look finally something older than you George. 353 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,640 Yeah this castle is like 500 years old. 354 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:51,640 500 years old. 355 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,640 That's way older than you. 356 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:57,120 That is four or more times older than me. 357 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,040 Don't worry we're going to get you that record. 358 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,960 We're going to make you older than that castle one day. 359 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:07,160 Alright I'll start tearing away. 360 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,160 You guys ready? 361 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,160 I brought the dynamite. 362 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,560 We're going to make old George the oldest damn thing in this place. 363 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,280 We're going to go all around this country. 364 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,080 Hang on is that the plan? 365 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,960 We're actually going to go around and destroy anything that's older than 89 years old. 366 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,880 Oh my back. 367 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,680 Yeah George you keep lifting those bricks. 368 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:31,600 I'll be back. 369 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,320 You'll never be able to get a job again. 370 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,320 I'm a hobby. 371 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,360 People look at that thing still. 372 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:40,160 I'm applying every day my LinkedIn profile's flat out. 373 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,440 Wait till you get that tattoo and nobody will want to hire you. 374 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,440 Really you say. 375 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:45,440 Nobody wants to hire me anyway. 376 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:49,160 This is coming from experiences you say you had a tattoo as well. 377 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,960 Don't want to talk about it. 378 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:55,120 And you still won't give me a job. 379 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,600 Alright so here is something I've just drawn up. 380 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:02,000 I think you know I was using both of your ideas. 381 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:08,280 I've put a little bit of the Celtic inspiration into the Ninja Turtles as well. 382 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,120 You can see there that you've got. 383 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:13,120 They're black and they're yellow. 384 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,840 Wow Granathan that looked really good on you. 385 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,880 That looked really good on me because of the scurvy. 386 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,280 I'm already a little bit yellow. 387 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,600 It would really blend in. 388 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,240 The black would really pop. 389 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,360 Our turtle's not supposed to be green. 390 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,400 It's original design. 391 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,200 Granathan what did you say you wanted to get the tattoo again? 392 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:34,160 Well it depends because it can pull down a lot of bits of skin all over my body. 393 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:38,120 So I think it's the one that has the most tension still available in it. 394 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,320 So I think that's my trace here. 395 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,800 Oh okay okay I think we could work with that. 396 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,360 Okay so are you thinking? 397 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:49,280 There's not much give there's still not much wrinkle there yet. 398 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,280 We can work with it. 399 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,280 I've got some clips. 400 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:54,000 I can just clip back the skin like you know whenever you. 401 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,000 I keep them. 402 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,480 Well I prefer to get them back. 403 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:57,480 That's alright. 404 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,520 I would use them for like my laundry and things. 405 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,040 I wouldn't want to ruin your business. 406 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,040 I can help as well. 407 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,040 I can hold his skin back if you need to. 408 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,560 I would appreciate that you know. 409 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,640 He holds me down for the phone shots. 410 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:14,160 What actually happens when you take the clips off and the skin just starts flopping about 411 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,160 with a picture on it. 412 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,600 Oh should you be maybe doing it just au natural. 413 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:24,280 So then whenever age does finally hit me that it just looks the same. 414 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,280 Should you do it over the wrinkles? 415 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,280 You're the artist. 416 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:31,520 I'll uh you know I'm going to incorporate the wrinkles into it you know create the movement 417 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:35,760 with it you know give a depth to it as you can see. 418 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,760 And the turtles one will have turtle keats here. 419 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:39,760 That's clever. 420 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:40,760 That's clever. 421 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,240 Yeah no if you want to come on back then we'll get this started here. 422 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:51,520 So I would prefer to if you're going to be here I would prefer sorry sir good vibes really. 423 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:55,600 So you can if you if you'd be comfortable sir with with your friends joining you. 424 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:59,240 Oh no I would actually like both of them to hold me down because when I lie down it reminds 425 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:00,800 me of the war. 426 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,800 Dead on. 427 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:02,800 Dead on. 428 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:03,800 Am I start kicking? 429 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,480 The reason that is because you actually slept through most of the war and that was your 430 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:07,480 position lying down. 431 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,480 Yeah but I could hear it in the background. 432 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,520 I can't actually live on my own at the moment I have to live with granddad because he needs 433 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,080 me to hold him down every night. 434 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:19,120 Yeah okay well if you want to come on and just you know hop in the chair you yous can 435 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:22,760 just get held down I'll go get the clips here and I'll go get some gloves. 436 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:26,800 Can I just say who what you said um turtle keats who are the other three? 437 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:32,000 Yeah of course so we've got um so we're basing on Irish artists so we've got you know I've 438 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,000 got turtle bacon. 439 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000 Bacon definitely was Irish. 440 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,000 Is that one Daniel O'Donnell? 441 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,920 Yeah you know I have decided to since he said artist it didn't you know. 442 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,520 Yeah artists can be many things. 443 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:43,520 It would be many so I've got. 444 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,520 You could put my grandson in if you want he is. 445 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,560 We've got turtle keats turtle bacon. 446 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,920 Turtle Stephen Nolan. 447 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,360 Turtle Stephen Nolan and turtle O'Donnell. 448 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:53,360 Oh. 449 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:54,360 So um. 450 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:55,360 I love this. 451 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:58,880 And they're all carrying the hurly sticks which I think is a really cool idea so if 452 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,960 yous if yous want to hop on that wee table there sure and we'll get you hooked on then 453 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:03,960 alright. 454 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:04,960 Alright what are yous holding? 455 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:05,960 Just relax there. 456 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:06,960 I'm telling you you'll regret it. 457 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:07,960 Oh no. 458 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:08,960 I said good vibes. 459 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:09,960 If you can just. 460 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:10,960 Just hold me down. 461 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:11,960 Just hold you down. 462 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,960 Okay granted am I gonna hurt is it gonna hurt him? 463 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:16,960 I can take it. 464 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,960 Um how much sensation do you have? 465 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,520 I can feel it in the right arm. 466 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:21,520 Oh you'll love it. 467 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:22,520 Alright then. 468 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:23,520 Alright. 469 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:24,520 That's not a good sign. 470 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:25,520 That's no. 471 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:26,520 Good vibes. 472 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,520 Is this why I chose this day to finally do it? 473 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,520 Have you started yet? 474 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:29,520 Yes. 475 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,520 That noise is giving me flashbacks. 476 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:31,520 Hold me down. 477 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:32,520 Tell us about your tattoo Philly. 478 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:33,520 Stop hiding it. 479 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,520 I'm too ashamed. 480 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,800 Is it the same one that he's got? 481 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,920 No the turtles didn't exist at that point. 482 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:53,640 Oh but it's got hurly sticks. 483 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:54,640 Not tonight man. 484 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,640 Nah not tonight. 485 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:56,640 Please. 486 00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:57,640 It's my birthday. 487 00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:58,640 It's my birthday. 488 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,200 Ah go on mate go on he's alright he's okay. 489 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,720 He looks drunker than he actually is yeah. 490 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:03,720 I always look drunk. 491 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:04,720 I look drunk as a kid. 492 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,920 I would get carted when going to school. 493 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:07,920 It's just I have a drunk face. 494 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,680 I have a resting drunk face. 495 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:10,680 I like you. 496 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:11,680 You're a good judge of character. 497 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,520 Please let me in it's my birthday. 498 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,080 You just look like this. 499 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,580 You're not actually drunk. 500 00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:19,960 I'm a wee bit tipsy but I look like that. 501 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,720 Let me show you my driver's license photo. 502 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:23,720 I look wasted. 503 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:24,720 Yeah it really confuses the police. 504 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:25,720 Let me see that. 505 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:26,720 Alright when's your birthday? 506 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:27,720 Today. 507 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:28,720 Which is? 508 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:29,720 Wednesday. 509 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,720 Come on man. 510 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,720 It doesn't say the day on here. 511 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:34,720 Say the date. 512 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:35,720 Does it not? 513 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:36,720 Can I see? 514 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:37,720 No this is a test. 515 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:38,720 See how drunk you are. 516 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,720 Oh okay. 517 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,720 You can't even remember your own birthday even though it's today. 518 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,080 Obviously I remember it if I'm celebrating it. 519 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,080 It's after Christmas. 520 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,120 Christmas was a little while ago. 521 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,120 So hang on. 522 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,120 It's after Christmas and it's not New Year's yet. 523 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,120 So hang on. 524 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,120 So we can work this out. 525 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,120 Yeah we can figure it out. 526 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,120 Hang on. 527 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,120 It's always the same. 528 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:59,120 What's your fireworks policy? 529 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:04,240 I mean I don't think we have one but I'm going to say no. 530 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,520 Don't bring fireworks in. 531 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:06,800 How about just your coat check? 532 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,160 I mean we have one yeah. 533 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:09,200 Does it charge? 534 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,200 You're not wearing a coat though. 535 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,200 What are you going to? 536 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,200 It's not for the coat. 537 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,160 No I think he's just trying to make a point. 538 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:15,680 It's not nice getting asked all these questions. 539 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,960 You don't even know the answers to whether you're coat checking. 540 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,360 This is why you're my best friend in the whole world. 541 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,960 He's asking you questions about your birthday you can't answer and then he's not going 542 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:24,960 to let you in. 543 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:25,960 You ask him about the coat thing. 544 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,840 He's at a place that he works and he can't even he doesn't even know the answer. 545 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,120 I mean how's that fair? 546 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:31,120 Are you drunk? 547 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,120 I'm no sir. 548 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,120 I'm a professional. 549 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:37,080 Put your hands on your nose and walk in a straight line while saying the alphabet words. 550 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,080 Yeah yeah. 551 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:39,080 Huh? 552 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,080 Not so nice now. 553 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,800 Guys you're holding up the line but there's people behind you looking to get in. 554 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:42,800 I'm going to need you to. 555 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,640 No we actually want you to prove what he just asked. 556 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:46,640 We need to know that you're not drunk sir. 557 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,280 How do we know you work here and you're not just a drunk guy? 558 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,280 I'm happy to wait. 559 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,280 Do you not see the earpiece? 560 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,280 Yeah no. 561 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,280 Hold on. 562 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:53,280 I got AirPods. 563 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:54,280 Hold on. 564 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:55,280 No not an AirPod. 565 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,280 I've got an earpiece. 566 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,280 Hold on. 567 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,280 Don't step. 568 00:21:58,280 --> 00:21:59,280 I'm trying to find. 569 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:00,280 I wasn't going to do that. 570 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,280 That's a stone. 571 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,280 Sorry. 572 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,280 No. 573 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:04,280 Hang on. 574 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,280 Oh hey could you uh can I get in? 575 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,280 That's my ID. 576 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:07,280 Oh. 577 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,280 He's not the. 578 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,280 Sir he's not the bouncer. 579 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,280 Happy belated birthday. 580 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:11,280 Thank you. 581 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:12,280 He's got an AirPod. 582 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,280 I'm sorry what am I supposed to do? 583 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:14,280 Trust you. 584 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,280 You didn't answer a single question. 585 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,280 He's got one AirPod and one ear. 586 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,280 He's clearly more of a bouncer than you are. 587 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,280 I mean you're just wearing yours with some joker and like a big long black coat. 588 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,280 And if you see the other just leave it out to coat check. 589 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:22,280 It's 150. 590 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:23,280 Thank you. 591 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,280 Yeah so he knows the coat check. 592 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:28,280 He's more of a bouncer than you are. 593 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,280 No fireworks. 594 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:30,280 Fine. 595 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:31,280 What are you doing? 596 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:32,280 I'm doing your job for you. 597 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,280 If you work here even. 598 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,280 Excuse me. 599 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,280 I do. 600 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,280 Thank you. 601 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,280 I've seen no proof. 602 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,280 Can I see that ID sir? 603 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:39,280 This is your ID. 604 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,280 Oh happy birthday. 605 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,280 Go on Ryan. 606 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:54,200 And here we are. 607 00:22:54,200 --> 00:23:03,360 On the plains observing the rhinoceri as they slowly migrate because that's the correct 608 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:07,640 term for an anoceros walking across the plains. 609 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,440 Two more grass where they will eat. 610 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,440 Keep going Barry. 611 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,440 We'll put it all in with CGI. 612 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:18,360 Now could you could you say there's a seagull flying in? 613 00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:19,360 A seagull? 614 00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:20,360 What? 615 00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:21,360 A seagull. 616 00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:22,360 We've got a seagull. 617 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:23,360 We've got a very good seagull. 618 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,360 What do you mean a seagull? 619 00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:25,360 A realistic feather. 620 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:29,040 It's going to land on the rhinoceros in the finished product. 621 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,320 Can you just take that into account? 622 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,160 What a fucking seagull. 623 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,840 Seagulls and rhinoceroses don't live in the same area. 624 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,200 It's all done by CGI so it doesn't matter does it? 625 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,360 What fucking CGI doesn't matter? 626 00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:42,360 Where the fuck am I from? 627 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:43,360 What? 628 00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:44,360 What? 629 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:46,240 You're just doing the voiceover mate. 630 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:47,240 Alright. 631 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,600 I'm just saying there's a change to the script. 632 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:50,800 Jesus cross. 633 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,760 Barry stop getting too deep when there's changes to the script. 634 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,840 I'm not getting deep Gerald. 635 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:56,840 You do. 636 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:57,840 You do this. 637 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,240 You lose yourself every time. 638 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:00,800 It's not losing myself. 639 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,840 I'm just trying to stay accurate. 640 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:06,360 You just questioned where you came from Barry. 641 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:07,880 If that's not losing yourself. 642 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,320 I think you felt like you'd embodied the rhinoceros. 643 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,920 And that would be acceptable but now we need you to embody a rhinoceros that's going to 644 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,440 have a seagull landed on it. 645 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:17,440 Right. 646 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:18,440 Alright. 647 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:19,440 From the top. 648 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:20,440 Here we go. 649 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:28,520 And now a seagull is going to land on a rhinoceros because a seagull has found itself on the 650 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:29,520 African Plain. 651 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,960 Well we can't say it like that because that would be predicting that it's going to happen. 652 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:37,880 You need to be more like and now oh look it has landed on it. 653 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:38,880 You know you can't say. 654 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,360 You can't talk like you're God. 655 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,360 I'm vexed. 656 00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:43,880 Well that's more like God gets vexed again. 657 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:44,880 There's new research. 658 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,760 They've found out seagulls all over the African Plains. 659 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:48,760 Yeah. 660 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,080 I've got some notes from the producer. 661 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,560 So he says that there needs to be a puppy in the scene. 662 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:55,560 Oh for fuck's sake. 663 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:56,560 A lovely puppy. 664 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:57,560 A lovely puppy. 665 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,560 Because the children will like that. 666 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,640 Did we get the sponsorship then? 667 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:03,640 Yeah we did. 668 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:04,640 Wonderful. 669 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:05,640 Pedigree. 670 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:06,640 That's fantastic. 671 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:07,640 Pedigree charm money boys. 672 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,640 Yum yum yum. 673 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:09,640 Come come come. 674 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:14,240 Hang about so a fucking golden retriever puppy is going to suddenly. 675 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:15,240 No no no. 676 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:16,240 How do you know it's a golden retriever? 677 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:17,240 It's to be a Yorkie. 678 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:18,240 It's a Yorkshire terrier. 679 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,880 Pedigree charm don't use Yorkies. 680 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:22,520 They use golden retrievers don't they? 681 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,040 They're advertising all different dogs. 682 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,680 No that's why we're using a Yorkie because the Yorkie is going to be stamped on by the 683 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,160 rhinoceros killed instantly. 684 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,160 Oh Jesus Christ. 685 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,160 Wait wait. 686 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,160 Yeah. 687 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:36,800 It's going to be killed instantly and then it's going to say Pedigree is the best Yorkie 688 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:37,800 sight. 689 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:38,800 This could win you an award. 690 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:39,800 You know. 691 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:40,800 Really? 692 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:45,440 I've never seen David Amber narrate a puppy being crushed to death by a rhino. 693 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:46,760 And we're going to do the CGI on it. 694 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,880 I did see this. 695 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,800 They've really got good with the blood effects. 696 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,800 The slow motion is incredible. 697 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:54,800 Slow motion. 698 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,520 Slow motion puppy getting crushed. 699 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,120 They've started using AI apparently. 700 00:25:58,120 --> 00:25:59,120 Whoa whoa whoa. 701 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:00,120 No no no. 702 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:01,120 Hold on a minute. 703 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:02,120 Right. 704 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:03,120 So there's slow motion here. 705 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,120 Don't you talk slow. 706 00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:05,120 Not like last time. 707 00:26:05,120 --> 00:26:11,160 It took about 15 hours for you to get through that monologue about the gazelles and all that. 708 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:12,160 Right. 709 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:13,160 Okay. 710 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:14,160 So you talk normal speed. 711 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,160 Normal speed. 712 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,160 I'm just going to stand in front of you because it's all done in post now. 713 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,160 Hold on. 714 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,880 Don't even mention slow motion. 715 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,320 You know he's a bit slow himself. 716 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:23,320 Hang on. 717 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:24,320 Hang on. 718 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:25,320 Give me a cue when the slow motion is in here. 719 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:26,320 And I won't talk slow. 720 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:27,320 Or much. 721 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:28,320 Right. 722 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,720 I'll just slow my diction by about. 723 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:31,720 Well speed you up in post. 724 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,520 Even if it makes you sound steady. 725 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:34,520 I'm not going to. 726 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,520 Right. 727 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:36,520 And if you want to be up for the awards. 728 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,760 You don't want to sound like you've taken a fucking lung full of helium. 729 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:40,760 Yeah it's true. 730 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:41,760 Right Barry? 731 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:42,760 Right. 732 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:43,760 Listen. 733 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:48,360 I'm just thinking if it's in slow motion, if I was to maybe talk around 15% speed. 734 00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:49,720 I think that's alright. 735 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,880 15% of general or like. 736 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:52,880 So are you saying. 737 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,360 15% of Alan when he's pissed. 738 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:56,360 Oh. 739 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:57,360 Off. 740 00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:58,360 Pissed off. 741 00:26:58,360 --> 00:26:59,360 Not pissed drunk. 742 00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:00,360 Pissed off. 743 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:01,360 Alan. 744 00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:02,360 What quantitative measure is it? 745 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:03,360 It is. 746 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:04,360 Because when you're angry. 747 00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:05,360 When you're angry you're real precise. 748 00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:06,360 You're a speed talker mate. 749 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:07,360 Yeah. 750 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:08,360 You've got more notes than a producer. 751 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:09,360 Yeah. 752 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:10,360 So Barry basically the slower you talk the less you get paid. 753 00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:11,360 Oh. 754 00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:12,360 Like that. 755 00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:13,360 Right. 756 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:14,360 And does it work the other way around though? 757 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:15,360 Does he get paid more if he talks faster? 758 00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:16,360 There's a flat rate. 759 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:19,360 Oh this isn't a newspaper in the 20s where by word. 760 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:20,360 Okay good. 761 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:21,360 Well I've done a minute. 762 00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:24,360 This is a bit of a bollocks up isn't it? 763 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:25,360 Yeah. 764 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:26,360 So I get penalised for talking slower. 765 00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:28,080 I think this is a contract you signed. 766 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,080 No yeah after that. 767 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:30,080 Is that right? 768 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,080 Yeah after you talked so slow. 769 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:32,080 Back to the fucking Rhino. 770 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:33,080 Yeah so already the seagulls landed. 771 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,080 Barry. 772 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,080 Barry. 773 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:36,080 And Barry. 774 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,240 Barry you signed an NDA so you can't tell anybody about any of this. 775 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:40,240 Oh yeah. 776 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:41,240 I did. 777 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:42,240 I did. 778 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:43,240 I signed an NDA. 779 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:44,240 I signed an NDA. 780 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:45,240 Right. 781 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:46,240 An NDA. 782 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:51,240 And now to be fair in this one. 783 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,240 Never didn't happen. 784 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:54,240 Exactly. 785 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,680 And now don't forget Barry. 786 00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,320 You can be surprised by the fact that the Yorkie is there this time because the seagull 787 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,600 is natural but the Yorkie it's gonna die. 788 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,680 It shouldn't be there in the first place. 789 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,120 We're saying bad things about Yorkies. 790 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:08,000 We're saying they don't know where they should be. 791 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,000 Oh I'm with you. 792 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,000 I'm with you. 793 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,680 They said the boys up high they said there needs to be a lady in a bikini. 794 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:15,680 Oh. 795 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,840 Is that what distracts the Rhino? 796 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:18,840 Yeah. 797 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,920 And that's how the Yorkie gets killed. 798 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:21,920 It's her dog. 799 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:22,920 And is she gonna be CGI? 800 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:23,920 Jesus. 801 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:24,920 She's gonna be CGI. 802 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:25,920 Fucking Christ. 803 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:30,400 She's an irresponsible dog owner letting it around in a safari. 804 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:31,400 Right. 805 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,200 And that's why she would buy Yorkies because she's an irresponsible dog owner. 806 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:36,200 Yes. 807 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:37,200 Yorkies are terrible dogs. 808 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,200 Got it. 809 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:39,200 Okay here we go. 810 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,200 And she's called Brenda. 811 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:41,200 Brenda. 812 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,200 You don't have to say it but just know that that helps inform her character. 813 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,200 Brenda's my motivation. 814 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:46,200 Right. 815 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,200 Right. 816 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:56,800 And now we see a Rhino slowly migrating to get some grass. 817 00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:01,320 Oh a seagull now land on his horn. 818 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,080 Sorry a little faster Barry. 819 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,160 Seagulls love landing on rhino's horns. 820 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:11,840 Seagulls love to do that because they moisten the horn so it can kill easier and slip into 821 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,200 the carcass of the enemy. 822 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,200 But what's this? 823 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,200 Oh no. 824 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:21,520 A wee Yorkie named Jeff is barreling towards Rhino. 825 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,280 And there's a woman in a bikini. 826 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,800 The bikini is red with leopard print. 827 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:26,960 It's agitated the Rhino. 828 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,200 The Rhino is now barreling towards the Yorkie. 829 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,920 And the Yorkie starts left. 830 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:32,960 And the Yorkie starts slow mo now. 831 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:40,560 And now the Yorkie is crushed. 832 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:41,560 It's in smithereens. 833 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,760 It resembles Heinz tomato ketchup. 834 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:47,040 Can you also specify it's a Victoria's Secret bikini because we're getting sponsored by 835 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,040 them as well. 836 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:54,840 Victoria's Secret have sponsored a leopard print bikini but do not endorse Rhino annoyance. 837 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,440 That was fucking perfect Barry. 838 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:58,600 You know what I really felt at that time. 839 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,760 I mean you named a dog but we can cut that out. 840 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:04,200 I actually liked it because it gives a little bit of more emotion to people. 841 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:05,960 Maybe we should have a close up of a collar. 842 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:06,960 Oh yeah. 843 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:07,960 Like a little dog bone. 844 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:08,960 Do you know what? 845 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:09,960 Right? 846 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,400 Because I have a mate who does dog collars but they're done by... 847 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:13,960 Do you think he'd be willing to sponsor? 848 00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:15,560 Well listen to this right. 849 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:21,440 He works for D&G and they're dog collars so we could have D&G in it as well. 850 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:22,440 Wow. 851 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:23,440 This is amazing. 852 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:26,480 We're going to make money and possibly Barry's going to win the award. 853 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:27,480 Sounds like a wrap. 854 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:28,480 Yeah. 855 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:29,960 Shall we go, anyone for the pub? 856 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:31,440 Fucking hell it's Monday. 857 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:32,440 Ah go on. 858 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:33,440 Yeah. 859 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:34,440 Why not? 860 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:35,440 Yeah we go. 861 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,240 Do the boys upstairs want to come? 862 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:38,880 We never invite them to anything. 863 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:39,880 Because they're accountants. 864 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,240 They work for a different company. 865 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,040 Money people, we can't be dealing with that. 866 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,040 Well hang on. 867 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,040 No they're really bad guys. 868 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:46,040 They're really bad guys. 869 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,040 That's why I'm... 870 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:48,040 Oh Sally I'm sorry. 871 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,040 The go between. 872 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:53,640 Sally every time you leave the room and disappear upstairs you just come down and you always 873 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:57,600 seem to say the right things like but I've never once met these boys from upstairs. 874 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,600 Honestly I have. 875 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,320 I'm just going to nip out and see what they're like. 876 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,320 No no no I wouldn't do that Barry. 877 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:04,320 No Barry. 878 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:05,320 Barry no. 879 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:11,520 Oh fuck you know. 880 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:16,320 Jesus Christ lads the boys upstairs they're the mop people. 881 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:17,320 They're just mops. 882 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:18,320 I know. 883 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:19,320 They're just mops. 884 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,320 That's why we told you not to go there Barry. 885 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,320 We told you Barry. 886 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,120 Once you know it's hard to go back. 887 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,640 I don't think you understand. 888 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:39,560 This hostage high rip off of Discovery Channel has been run by mops. 889 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:43,440 Back to Dunbracken is created produced and edited by Conor McVeigh. 890 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:51,320 For more information on the podcast you can follow us at Dunbracken pod on Instagram. 891 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:57,440 This episode featured Patrick Meyer, Niall McKenna, Cairnsands, Robert Vaughan, Gemma 892 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:04,840 Burnett, Owen Heading, Mark Henry, James Geddes, Drew Hendry and Kat McKnight. 893 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:10,520 The opening and closing music was created by Conor Mallon and you can check out his 894 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,360 entire album on earth on Spotify now. 895 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:21,760 Thank you for listening we look forward to welcoming you back to Dunbracken very soon.